CONNECTING with Loves Ones In Spirit- Tips from Psychic Medium Colby Rebel EP 369

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you. Close your eyes and imagine. What are the things in life that cause us the greatest pain? The things that bring us grief are challenges, challenges designed to help us grow, to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we've been buried. But what if, like a seed, we've been planted? And having been planted, we grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes. Open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is Grief to Growth. And I am your host, Brian D Smith. Hey there, this is Brian with Grief 2 Growth and welcome. Whether you're joining us for the first time or you're returning listener, I'm your host again, I'm Brian D Smith. And today we've got a truly remarkable episode for you. Today we've got Colby Rebel. She's an award-winning international celebrity psychic medium. She's a bestselling author and she's the dynamic host of the Colby Rebel Show podcast. She's known for her clear-cut approach and no tool style. I'll ask her what no tool style means. She stands out for authenticity and her natural gifts. She's not just a psychic medium, she's a beacon of clarity in the fog of uncertainty, especially for those at life's crossroads. She also coaches people. She's celebrated for her precision. She's been honored with the title of the Best Psychic of Los Angeles in 2022. And she's not only captivated Hollywood's elite with her guidance, but also she's touched lives across the globe through her practical and grounded spiritual conversations. So today we're going to dive into grief and how to navigate through the healing process. We'll discuss the concept of there is no goodbye, and what happens after we transition from this life. Colby will share insights on how to sense the presence of loved ones who have passed and guide us to establish a connection with them. Additionally, we're going to explore the possibility of accelerating the grieving process and what that entails. So with that, I would like to welcome to Grief to Growth Colby Rebel.

Oh, hi there, Brian. Thank you so much for having me with you.

I'm, again, I'm excited to have you here and talk to you about connecting to the other side. That's what we talk about here. We talk about, we talk about life and death, and what comes after. I even use the word death because I don't think we actually truly die.

No, I would agree with you. I think the only part of death we have is the death of the physical body, but the soul lives on for sure, without a doubt.

Yeah, I'd like to talk to you first about how did you discover your abilities? Or what— how did they come about?

So for me, they were always there. I mean, the first memory we have is when I was 4. That's like the first memory of a visitation. And they happened throughout my entire life. So a lot of times young people— all kids are intuitive, I think all kids are connected. Some people just start to dim it between the ages of 10 and 12. And that just could be maybe something with the parenting or what they're being told or school pressure, society. So they start to kind of suppress it. But I was really lucky that I didn't have that experience. I had that freedom to always keep it with me. I just thought everybody did it. So there's no way I grew up thinking, oh, I'm gonna be a medium. I'm gonna do this forever. I'm glad I am doing it. But certainly it wasn't, wasn't what I thought was, was my purpose. Until, as we mentioned earlier, right before recording, sometimes spirit has, has other things in mind for us for our lives.

Yeah, absolutely. So you said you had like your first visit when you were like 4? What is— what was that about? What happened?

So for me, when I was 4, my grandfather came to me, and it was very, very clear. And he just was right by my bedside and it was literally, I could see him, feel him. It was as if he was as physical, uh, as you and I are here in this moment. And he said, just go out, get out of bed and go tell mommy what I said. And I do remember it being around Christmas time. So I get out of bed and I tell my mom and she just kind of looks at me like quizzically, like who said that? And I said, well, Grandpop said that. And she's like, uh, where's Grandpa? And I said, well, he's in the room, Mommy. And I pointed to the bedroom and she just kind of had a tear come down. And she's like, okay, well, we'll go back to bed. It's okay. And here later on, I found out he had passed away like a week before that, but they didn't even tell us. They didn't even let us know because I was only 4 and my sister was only 2. So, you know, it was pretty significant for my mom to kind of hear from her father. Through her 4-year-old daughter. So in that way, it was very evidential for me. And I grew up really believing in spirit. I never ever doubted it. And even as I studied, because you can study to make your gifts stronger, to become more clear, to kind of put things in perspective, I never ever doubted that spirit was with me and that they work through me. And that is, it's a really beautiful world that they have and that they live in. And it's very, very intertwined with our world.

So this happened when you were 4. Did you tell other people about it? How did your parents react to it? Sounds like your mother was kind of okay with it.

My mom was more scared of it, Brian. I think she was just like, mm, I don't want to know the answer. I don't know what's happening.

Okay.

Because there was another time when I was out front and sitting by myself and she could hear me talking to someone. So she comes to the screen door and says, who are you talking to? And I said, I'm talking. And I said some little girl's name. I'm talking to so-and-so and look at her dress, Mommy. Isn't that the prettiest dress? And here, you know, had to have been a little girl in spirit that I was talking to. On numerous occasions, it has happened. One time, I was sitting at a restaurant and the waiter, I was just started telling him about his grandmother. And, you know, now I have the waiter crying. I mean, you know, obviously, I wasn't aware that it was emotional or that not everybody could see spirits. So I was freely going about telling everybody who was with them and who was there. But it's always been there. And like I said, I think because my family They weren't real religious, so it's not— I was lucky in that way that there wasn't a suppression due to religion, but there also was like, ooh, if she's talking to ghosts, I don't want to know about it. Like, that would be kind of their mindset.

Right. So how about like around schoolmates? Did you tell people you had this ability as you were growing up?

No, no. But when I came out of the spiritual closet, when I decided like, hey, you know, I'm going to change my course and this is what I'm going to do. My sister was the first person I called. And she said, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. And so it wasn't a surprise. My best friend also, who had been my best friend since the 8th grade, nobody was surprised. Nobody was like, oh, I can't believe you're doing that. That's so weird. They're, they all were like, oh yeah, you could always tell you were talking to somebody. Your hands would move. Or your lips would be moving and you're having a full conversation. So, you know, nobody was really surprised at all. And, and, but, and very, very supportive. So again, I think in that way, I'm just very lucky.

So obviously, you see spirit, or at least did see spirit objectively. Do you still have that ability?

Yeah, so initially, it was definitely seeing spirit with my physical eye. As time progresses and you do this, I think more on a professional level, because you're, you're doing so many sessions, it becomes more mental mediumship. And I'm, I'm sure you've heard that. So most of the time, it's mental mediumship for me. Every once in a while, I will see a physical spirit, but it's always for a flash. And more— moreover, what's interesting is when I do connect to spirit with mental mediumship, I'm not seeing them as if I'm looking at them. I'm seeing them as if I'm— I am them through their eyes, like I see what they see. So I find that to be very interesting. So that means I'm blending with the spirit, right? We're just blending, we're sharing. And that really, I think, is just one of my favorite things to do, because you really feel who who that person is. You feel what their personality is like or what they're seeing or what they know. And that, I think, is just so beautiful.

Stay with us.

We'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief, most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up, so you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper. Thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry a loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it. The community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing. Listening, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth. I hope to see you there. So when you're, as you said, when you're blending with them, you're kind of feeling what they're feeling and seeing what they're seeing. And that's, that's more of your experience. Now, I guess, when you're, when you're doing this as a profession, as opposed to when you were younger. So what was the thing that, that drove you to, to come out? Did spirit tell you it's time? Or—

Oh, let me, Brian D Smith, I'll tell you. So I was studying to be a CPA, taking the CPA exam. And I was a tax accountant, tax manager for 14 years for a public CPA firm. And I was taking the CPA exam. So once you start the first part, you have a timer starts, and you have to pass all 4 parts within a timeframe. So I was on my last part. But as I'm in that last part, spirit is just It is so overwhelming of the constant seeing spirit, hearing them, feeling— there's just this overwhelming, you know, you're not on course, you're not on course. So, and I remember one night just saying, all right, listen, spirit, just, just give me this exam, give me this exam, and I promise I will serve. Okay. So I take that final part of the exam, and I get the results back., and I failed it by one point. And in that moment, all of it, just all of it went away. The whole timer would have had to restart. And I remember saying, why, Spirit? And they said, because you can't negotiate any longer. It's time. And literally that, that was it. That was the moment that I said, all right, I need, I need to start doing this. And I did my first professional reading the very next day.

Oh, wow. Okay.

Yeah. And it's kind of funny, a little— I started studying with Lisa Williams, because, again, being the accountant, I was also a bit skeptic, like, okay, yeah, I may see people, that doesn't mean, you know, I should be doing that for my life's work. And I really wanted to be vetted, I really wanted to be tested, I wanted to be challenged, you know, to make sure, because there there are people's lives and people's feelings. And, you know, how you work ethically and morally is just so important if you are going to do this work. And I wanted to take it very seriously. So I started with Lisa Williams. By the end of that year, I did have a CPA as a certified psychic advisor. So I kind of thought, well, that was a nice little joke from spirit for sure.

Yeah, that's really interesting. So what are your thoughts on, on soul planning or pre-birth planning or whatever you want to call it? Do you feel like there's something you agreed to before you came in?

I put— not really. I believe that you have lessons for sure. So I believe, you know, in spirit, we have lessons, we have soul school there. And then what, what lessons do I need to learn here? What path do I need to have to understand? So I believe we do have lessons. I do believe we have a purpose, you know, and it's discovering that purpose. But do you only have one purpose? No, I mean, because, you know, I think you could take a few different routes to serve that purpose, to be of service. And, you know, and that's okay, too. Like, you don't have to be a medium, you could be a therapist, You could be a police officer, you could be a teacher, like, those industries, I believe, are also very helping, very healing, very loving, helping work people through things. So, you know, I don't think everything is just so predestined. I don't.

Yeah, that's an interesting perspective, as you said. So it's, but there, there's kind of like overall lessons, but maybe not a specific path that you have to take.

That's right. Or, you know, people, you know, I think it's so unfortunate that people think, oh, they're gonna— they totally missed out on their soulmate because they didn't move to Hawaii like the psychic told them they needed to do. And it's like, no, no, no, that's not— that's not it. Or that, you know, I don't know if— I don't know if I was supposed to necessarily be an accountant before I became a professional medium. I think it certainly has helped me. But, you know, if I could go back in time, do I wish I had thought to kind of do this sooner? Yeah, of course. I think it would be great to have started it sooner, but it just wasn't— it wasn't part of it. But maybe that was a lesson I was supposed to learn. Or, you know, I'm not— I'm not sure, but I don't think everything is so planned out the way that— that some people think it is.

Yeah, I tend to agree with you. I think there is kind of a— excuse me, I think there's like a blend. There are certain things, as you said, lessons we're supposed to learn. Maybe highlights we're supposed to hit. But there is, there's obviously there's free will, there's choice.

Yes.

And I think spirit kind of works around when we don't, we're not on our path. But there also seems to be those times when it's like, okay, you're not on your path, you got to get on your path. We're gonna, we're gonna put you on your path.

Oh, yeah, I think that I definitely feel that spirit, the universe, you know, they, it's a perfect example, right? They're going to give you a little leeway. It's the same as the parent who's got the toddler and the toddler's trying to learn how to talk— I mean, walk and find balance. Like, the parent's gonna give a little bit of space, right? But if the kid starts running away or running towards stairs, the parent's gonna dive in and go, no, that's the wrong direction. You know, I think the universe watches us. And I also, you know, and I think a lot of people can relate to this, that, you know, you may be doing something and you keep feeling like, maybe I'm supposed to change my job. Maybe this isn't what— and yet you stay in it, right? You stay in it and, uh, and you keep feeling that nudge to change, but your free will is kind of keeping you there. Then all of a sudden, one day you walk in, you're fired. Didn't know it. You know, your landlord told you you had to move. Like, everything gets kind of gets ripped out from under you. And I think that that is the universe trying to say, hey, you're so off course, let's get you back on course. Let's, let's kind of get you to figure this out.

Well, it's interesting you chose that example, because that's exactly what happened to me. No, no, I was, I was working for a company, and it was going kind of okay. And I, but I wasn't really happy there. And I was, I was thinking about moving, but I was making pretty decent money. And then one day I literally got fired and ended up moving to where I am now and making a lot more money. And it was, it was the right thing for me to do. And there was an opportunity that I was considering, but it was too risky. It was, it was 100% commission sales job. And it was in a brand new territory. And I was like, yeah, I can't take that, that risk. But once I got fired, it's like, hey, I got nothing to lose.

Yes, yeah, exactly. Exactly. So that's what a great story though.

It is now, wasn't at the time.

Yeah, at the time it's not, is it? It's very, it's very stressful. It's very worrisome. I had, you know, and I believe the universe will test you. How much do you want this? You know, how much does it mean to you in a way? And I think that that's important so that we have gratitude so that we know why we're doing something. But But when I was a tax manager and I was now moving towards the Master Spiritual Teacher program, and it was such an intense, intense program, it's a 9-month program, and the last 3 weeks are done in person. And at the time it was, uh, the person was now in New York, so, and I was in Los Angeles, so I'd have to go to New York for 3 weeks in person to complete the training. Well, it just so happened that the 3 weeks in training was a tax filing deadline. It was over October 15th, which is the last filing deadline. There's no extensions for an individual after that date. I, there's no way the partner, the boss was going to let me have off for 3. There's no way it was going to happen. And I was tormented. How could I go? Quit my job and go. And then just really have that leap of faith. But that's what I knew what I had to do. And that, that's what I did.

Wow. Wow.

Yeah, that was scary, though.

Yeah, that is scary. So I want to talk to you because, you know, it's interesting because I know a lot of mediums. And it's, it's an interesting field. There's a whole lot of misperceptions about it, misconceptions about it, you know, about the way it works, about people being gifted. So one of the things I hear a lot of times from people is like, mediums should not charge money for their services. Yeah, because they've been given this gift. It's been freely given to them, they should freely give it away. I talked to someone like you who you seem to be, you are a natural born medium. But also talk about the training that you've done and the work that you've done to get to where you are.

Yeah, absolutely. And And everything needs an exchange of energy. And I think that's really important. So for me, though, I have really studied with some of the world's best teachers. And it is very, very costly to do that. You know, I also have a center. I have a center in Los Angeles. So how would I afford that lease if, if I wasn't going to charge? And, you know, I do services and So I also, you know, I believe in giving back as well. So it is a little bit of— I'll do a spiritual service or my podcast, I'll do free readings on them, just as an opportunity. Like, you know, if you can't be in a position to afford that session, well, listen into the podcast, see if you can come on as a guest, you know. So there is a wonderful way of giving back that we all can give back.

Sure.

But Yeah, I absolutely believe that you have to charge. I mean, I've spent years and years dedicated to this career and to this industry. And it has cost a lot of money on my part to train and to learn and to grow and to facilitate and to also be able to put myself out there so that other people can find me to receive a session, to get that message, to get that clarity. So that's why I believe it's definitely important to, to charge for the services.

Yeah, I'm glad we had the opportunity to have this conversation because I, again, I get— I hear this a lot about people, and they'll— or they'll— I'll recommend a medium and they'll look at their price and come back to me and say, how could you dare recommend that person because they charge so much money? And they don't— people don't see behind the scenes, you know. They don't get a chance to talk to someone like yourself and say, well, you have overhead, right? And you're— it's a profession.

Oh, I mean, absolutely. It is a profession. It is. And I think for someone, you know, when they look at the cost, you know, look at the training. How are they qualified? What's their expertise? How long have they been doing this? Are there accomplishments, accolades that are representative of, you know, their value? And I think that that's really important to do that because someone, you know, just because someone, if they charge $50, $60 a session, which would be crazy, you know, I don't know, I don't know if I'd go to a hairdresser that's going to charge me very little. You know, I want to, I want to be able to keep my hair. I want to have a good trainer. I want to have a good, want to have a good chiropractor.

Yeah, well, mediumship can also be very healing. But it can also, if someone doesn't know what they're doing, it can be very damaging.

Oh, it, you know, and this is why I teach, Brian. This is really why, because there has to be integrity and an ethicalness. And I personally really work with my students on delivery, right? How do you deliver? Because when we are receiving from spirit, you're getting it very quickly, or you may get an impression of something. And how you deliver that is really important. In fact, what's so interesting is, um, today, if, uh, uh, on my TikTok, I released the video on delivering difficult information and what is needed. What should the medium be doing when there is something difficult to relate to the client? And I think how we say it and how we deliver it is so, so important because It literally, for your client, it, for them, it may be the last thing that they think their loved one is saying to them.

Time for a real quick break. Make sure you like and subscribe. Liking the video will show it to more people on YouTube, and subscribing will make sure you get access to all my great content in the future. And now back to the video. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I think that's really important, as you said, that, that ethics and that professionalism, knowing how to deliver a message, knowing discretion. When do you deliver a message? And people, again, people that are laypeople don't really maybe understand that. And the other aspect about mediumship is the value that you're getting from the reading. Yeah, you know, that, that opportunity to connect, and, and what is that worth?

Yeah, and I think to kind of going back to the charging in a way as well, but this, you know, there are psychics and mediums out there that if they're not training, you know, they just may give you things. But when you train, you're learning the philosophy. You're really sitting with spirit. You're sitting with like, what is it you want to say to me? What is it you want me to know about the other side? What is it I need to be sharing with others? Like, there's such a deeper connection, I believe, when we look at this as a craft, when we really allow ourselves to explore on a much deeper level.

Yeah, I completely agree. And I think in a way, you know, we use these words craft and profession, I believe it's also a mission. I believe every medium that I've talked to talks about serving spirit, you know, I'm here in service. So, and that's why I think some people get this idea that it should be free because it's, it's in service, but there has to be this exchange.

Absolutely. Yes, there has to be the exchange. There's a lot of service-based careers and industries and, and money is needed as that exchange to help them expand the word, to help them get out, to help them flourish, and to help as many people as possible.

So what do you think are— what are some of the most common misperceptions about mediumship? About what is— what's it like to be a medium?

Um, I think some of the most common things is that I'm always reading people's minds and that I know every thought they have, which is not true. Can we pick up on impressions? Can we pick up on certain thoughts or feelings? Of course we can. But it's not like we're purposefully tuning in to someone all the time. So I think that that is one misperception. Also that that will know every little detail. You know, what are the last 4 of my father's Social Security number? If you're real, you'll know that. And it's like, well, it doesn't exactly work that way. What are the lottery numbers? You know, no, doesn't work that way either. So yeah, I think those are some of the misconceptions. And, you know, the other, the other thing is, is It's really a conversation that we're having. It's a conversation we're having with the soul of that spirit and a conversation with the soul of the sitter as well.

So what is, what is your, what does it work like for you? What's the process like for you? Because I think, again, we all have an impression in our minds. And I think some people think, okay, I'm gonna go to this medium, and my loved one's going to come and sit next to them in the chair. And it's going to be like, they're just going to have a conversation, and then they're going to just talk to me.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think, right, that is kind of the idea of what some people think it's like, or they have an idea of what they want their loved one to say, versus just like, it comes through differently. And it may be something irrelevant or small. I mean, and someone will say, well, yeah, that's true. But I'm not sure why. I don't know, they're the ones telling me. But for me, so when we said no tools, because you said, hey, I'm going to ask you about that. So I'm just going to be proactive and answer it. So there are some people that use cards, either tarot cards or spirit cards, or use pendulums or crystal balls or crystals. Many of these are tools that people use in order to help them with that connection. So I don't use any tools at all. I literally, so when I have a session, I literally just say to spirit, well, who wants to say hello? That's really what I, who wants to say hello? And I really talk to spirit as if I want to get to know them, as if I'm meeting them at a coffee, coffee bar and we're sitting down and having a coffee and let me get to know you. Let me share this time, this space with you. And I think that that approach makes a big, big difference in being able to feel spirit and being able to have them trust me, right? The spirit has to trust the medium as well. And so we're able to get comfortable. You know, I'm not that medium that talks to spirit of, well, what's your name? What did you do? Who are you? How did you die? Like, that'd be so rude. Can you imagine? Think about walking up to someone in the living, you know, and you say, Who are you? What's your name? What did you do? How did you hurt yourself? Like, it's like, hey, so I really look at it as a conversation. And I just go with it. I really allow myself to let the spirit share what it is they want, want to share.

Thank you. That's a really important point. Again, I know a lot of mediums, and I know some of the training they get, and some of it is, it's that name, rank, serial number thing. Yeah, it's like, because But again, sometimes people in the living, there's like, okay, I want to have this. And one example, I know, like my daughter, I've had several readings, and my daughter doesn't typically talk about the way that she passed. And I've had some mediums get really frustrated because it's like, I, you know, I'm able to get that. I'm like, that's because she doesn't want to talk about it.

Yeah, exactly. Right, exactly. And I think that it's, but again, it's you know, the way I work with my students and with Spirit, it's, um, we can't force it. Like, if you force it, it's unnatural, right? And, and the thing is, is maybe there's other things your daughter wants to talk about instead. Maybe she wants to talk about things that made her laugh, or, you know, the funny little jokes you would tell her to get her cracking up, or You know, maybe something you've done recently for her to honor her, which, I mean, I know you honor her every day. So, but, you know, it's let them share what they want versus this idea. So I tell my students, you know, it's not a resume. Don't deliver to the client, to the recipient, as if it's a resume. This is a person. This is a person. And when you really deliver the information that you are getting with love and compassion and joy. And, you know, one of the things is, is if I were to take on a mannerism that your daughter would do or say a little something she would say, like, that is so much more evidential than no matter anything else I could give, you know. I think people— mediums work so hard to prove that they have your loved one. So, you know, if they give you all of that, and maybe all of it is true and accurate and correct, mentally, you may say, mentally, yes, they, they have my loved one. I want you to feel your loved one with me. And that to me is the difference, that when you feel them with me, and you know that they are with me, then you know we have a conversation with them. And I think that to me is more gratifying. But it's remarkable what they will give. So I had this lady come in, and her, her young daughter passed. I, I believe her daughter was 12, 12 or 14, something like that, right? And, and I, it's two little things. I said, Your daughter is giving you butterflies. She wants to let you know that butterflies are her sign for you. And she said, yes, I know. And I said, she shows me all these hearts, and I don't know why she's doing this, but I'm gonna give it to you. And the lady says, I know exactly why. So at the end of the session, the lady shows me they've created an organization, a nonprofit on behalf of the daughter. The daughter had done drawings and they used the drawings for this nonprofit. The drawing is of a butterfly of all the hearts of the butterfly and all the hearts make up the butterfly. So it was like, wow, like, that's pretty, like, that's pretty amazing. And I wouldn't have like necessarily known. It's not like the daughter saying, oh yeah, she started a nonprofit for me and This is my design. But that's what I'm saying, like, it's in pieces, but the pieces to the puzzle are beautiful pieces.

Yes. And, and, you know, I think there's a balance with— because people want to know you've made that connection. So that's why I think mediums dig so hard for the evidence. But especially in today's world, where we got the internet and people are so skeptical, a lot of times we'll talk ourselves out of a reading like that, because we'll say, well, I've even had people like, they'll go look up the obituary afterwards. It's like, okay, everything she told me was already there on the internet. So they just dismissed the whole thing. But something like the hearts and the butterfly, you know, that's something that touches your heart.

Yeah, exactly. And I think for me, even though it's a balance, so a session is a balance between evidence. Well, it's all evidence really, but I call it hard facts, soft facts and a message. So hard facts, hard facts are the Google, uh, hard facts, name, maybe how they passed, how old, a birth date, um, anything like that. So objectively it's indisputable, right? So those are hard facts. Soft facts, personality traits, idiosyncrasies, uh, things, a perspective, a subjective take, like What is your personality? You know, her take on a memory with you would be different than somebody else's take on that same memory, right? So that perception is also— and then when we come to quote unquote, the message, I do believe usually there's a message. I really do. Because, you know, I say it's like when you phone someone, you usually have a reason to call someone. What are you doing for dinner? Or, hey, I just want to say hi to you. I was thinking about— I know you got the trip coming up, but whatever, we have a reason. So I believe spirit normally does. It doesn't have to be earth-shattering. It could be just want to say hello, or just want to let you know I'm around. But what I really like to say is, you know, what would you like to say to them today? Is there anything you want me to say? And I think that that's usually, you know, that kind of conversational approach, I think, is really what what really helps everybody feel the connection. Or at least I hope, I hope.

Yeah, I like that. I completely agree. I think it's got to be a balance. You know, we do need some evidence because if you go to a medium, she just says your grandmother loves you.

It's like, oh yeah, or I've got this lady with lovely energy. And well, she gives me lots of hugs for you. It's like, okay, well, we need more than that. I agree. So yeah. Yeah.

So I was gonna ask you, when I know you help people, I think you help people connect with their own loved ones.

Yes.

So because I hear a lot of mediums say, well, you can learn to do this yourself. And a lot of people like me say, yeah, I don't know how to do that. What's your advice for someone who says, I don't feel anything from— I'm not getting a connection?

Yeah, there's a, there's a couple reasons for that. One is if the person is in such a state of grief, I think of it as a wet sponge, right? It's just gonna sink in the water. The lighter the energy, so the higher the vibration, the easier it is to connect to your own loved one. So when you're deep in grief, it's, it's not that they're not around, and it's not that they're not there, but your awareness simply isn't expanded at that point. And so the vibration is just too low for you to recognize how they would be around you. The second thing is, when they do come around, they're around us or give us signs or symbols, or it's so subtle sometimes. I mean, it's so subtle, Brian. It's like, you know, looking out the corner of your eye and a squirrel or a bird catches your attention. Ever so slight, and you turn your eye to look at it, like, there's something to that. But most people just go, oh, huh, and keep looking. They're not thinking more beyond that. And so I think it's those sorts of things that, you know, maybe kind of say, hey, I don't know if they're around. So obviously, look at certain things. You know, I definitely feel like if you think of that loved one, if you hear a song, or there's something that you see, and it makes you think of that loved one, I believe that loved one has— is already sent you what it is you were receiving. I believe they are the initiative, like they're the proactive one. And even though— so we reverse it sometimes, I think, but it really is them around and I do believe that they're around. Little things. If the hair on your arms, you know, raises, or the hair on the back of your neck, or you get a little shiver. Sometimes you can feel their impression around you, which is really great. Dreams are also another very key, key way, although I believe there's two types of dreams. I believe there's visitations, and then there's just the subconscious working through something.

Yes, I agree. And I think that's a really important point to make because I've heard of people having disturbing dreams about their loved ones.

That's right.

And saying, oh, does that mean they're in trouble?

Right, exactly. And it's not right, or they're stuck. I, I'll tell you the one thing I can't stand, I just, I'll tell you if there's one thing I, if I wish I could change in the world is the idea that your loved one is stuck somewhere and they need a medium's help to cross over. I think that's the most ridiculous concept. Ever. That doesn't even make sense. You know, the soul is— the soul is inherently intelligent. It definitely knows where, where to return home to. And so I think that that is important to remember as well.

Yeah, I'm glad you said that. Because again, I know there's some mediums, whether they're misguided or unethical, they will tell people that you know, someone's stuck somewhere and I need to help them get out. So you need to pay me more money so I can help them move along.

Yeah, you know, and it's, it is unfortunate, right? And again, it, some people just naturally believe that, you know, like, I don't know how, I don't know how you could kind of provide that as a service. But, you know, the hardest part is when someone, I think the hardest part is if you are working with a client who is deep in grief. It's, you know, because I can't, you know, I can't, you just can't fix that grief. You know, I can do my best and I could try to help alleviate it and I can bring through that loved one and maybe even for a few minutes they're feeling wonderful and better, but the grieving process is very You know, it's very challenging. I think it's difficult. It's— there's no way. I feel so— I really do feel bad because it's like, as much as I could bring your daughter to you, or anyone's loved one, you know, to them, as much as I could do that, you know, what I can't do is bring them to you in the physical realm. That I can't do. And I can't get them to pick up the phone. Or text you, or, you know, and that, that's just where we have to have that trust of that connection in the spirit world without the physicality.

Yeah, that's, that's a good point, you know, because we can't, we can't get that— I don't want to say relationship back, because we still have the relationship, but we can't get that physical connection back. That's, that's the thing that's missing. And, and I tell my clients, we are physical beings. So we do crave the physical. So there is, there is going to be something that's missing. But on the other hand, as someone that works with people in grief, and I've studied for the last several years, I also know that a medium reading can be as beneficial as a year's worth of therapy.

Yes. I love that you said that. So thank you, because there are a lot of clients that have said that to me. And that is such a What a beautiful thing to say to a medium, right? What a beautiful thing to say, like, or, this really helped me. I mean, you know, it's, it is beautiful. But I love this. And I think what's wonderful is I know, I mean, I really, really know with, with all of my being that our soul absolutely does live on. And It's super exciting to kind of see when someone is around someone or talking to them or what they're doing. And I love too that they— think about it— like, they share their personalities with me, and then they share your personality or your loved ones. I mean, how fun that I get to meet all of your family in one fell swoop.

Yes, yes. It can be a wonderful experience having a reading with a medium like that. And I, again, I've talked to a lot of people that have talk to medium, and they're like, they're like, it's like I had a meeting, like you said, a meeting with all my loved ones, and they were there, and she was there, her personality, and they were saying things. Because as much as we want to believe in our world that we live in, we're still very skeptical, we're still very materialistic. And a lot of people are just like, yeah, I want to believe, but I just don't know. I'm not quite over that hump. And that, that medium reading can be the proof, the personal experience that we need.

Yes, absolutely. And I think that that is very valid, that, that it can be that proof for someone, which is really great and reassuring for sure.

So I know you also, I think you coach people as well. How do you, how does that, how do you coach people?

I work, I normally work with psychics or mediums that want to develop their own gifts. They want to become stronger. They— so I offer a one-on-one program. It's like 3 months long and just kind of help them on that journey. And just teaching them a very strong foundation and kind of giving them a lot of exercises to help them practice in a really safe place, right? Because it is difficult for a psychic or medium to find a really good group or development circle or have an opportunity to read for someone when they're kind of still practicing. So I love doing that a lot. And then a lot of my clients, you know, they'll do readings with me sometimes pretty frequently. But it's really like, you know, kind of what you said earlier, you know, I could either pay the therapist or I could pay you and it's much more fun with you. It's like, well, let's do it, you know. I try not to, you know, I don't want to get in the way of helping others the best way that I can help them. You know, however I can be of service is, is really how, how I want to show up.

Right. I know. And I know one of the things you say is there is no goodbye. And I know we've touched on this, and I think I know what it means. But what does it mean to you?

It means that there, there is no goodbye, that your loved one really never dies. They just don't die. Their physical body perishes, the physical body dissolves, right? But the soul lives on. That soul and the veil— when we say heaven, you know, we think of heaven above. And I think the reason we think of heaven above is because the vibration, right, spirit is above, the vibration is high. I think that's what gives us that beautiful concept And I believe that spirit is right on the other side of the veil. So they're, they're just right, right there in that other realm. So they are right by you. So there is no goodbye if you practice talking to them, expanding the awareness. I did— let me explain that just in case, for the listeners to kind of understand what that means. We all have our senses, our seeing, our hearing, our feeling, our knowing. And our tasting and smelling. And so a psychic or a medium, those senses are heightened, meaning they're stronger, right? We're more sensitive, but just so sensitive, everything. And so the peripheral vision is really strong, the idea. So the more you can practice that, and everybody can, so the more you can strengthen your senses to make you more sensitive the more you're going to pick up on your loved one and what they're giving you and what they're bringing to you. You'll feel them in the aura, or you'll notice that sign that maybe you wouldn't have noticed before.

Yeah, I think it's really helpful. As you were talking about that, we were talking about heaven being above. You know, I think about when this idea came about back in the day when people didn't understand the universe the way that we do, right? So anything that was outside of the earth was above. So it makes sense. We think of heaven, of above, we think of it as far away. Now, as we've got more of a scientific understanding, we talk about frequency and vibration like you're talking about. And if you think about radio waves, like radio stations, they're all in the same place at the same time. It's just which one are we tuned into. And so if we, if we can start to think of the spirit world as more of a different frequency, that's right, it's in the same location. But it's a different frequency that we're not tuned into in our normal life. I think that analogy might help people understand that our loved ones didn't go like a long way away. They didn't go anywhere. Their bodies just— they're just not focused on their bodies anymore. They're not.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. And it is simply, it is simply that frequency that we are connecting to as well. Yes.

So, um, as we, as, as people are thinking about connecting to their own loved ones, it's a matter of, as you said, developing that sensitivity and, and tuning into these other frequencies, which is what mediums can do, some naturally and some through a lot of training and a lot of work.

Yeah, well, the, the theory or the belief is all mediumship is natural. That's the belief or theory. And then you can develop it further. So the idea supposedly is that you cannot make a medium. You know, and the point is, is I go, I don't know, who's to say? Like, who am I to say, you know, that it can only be this way? I think that's so limiting to say it can only be this way. But yeah, I mean, to me, you know, finding that medium that is natural, but has dedicated themselves, committed themselves, invested themselves into, into being of service into this practice, I think is very, very good. Now you're really going to get the cream of the crop, you're really going to get the vetted medium to provide the service. And One thing I wanted to say, kind of going back to the awareness as I was talking about, and, you know, when people, people go through their daily lives, you're thinking of the groceries, what you got to pick up at the store, does the car need gas in it? Do you need to go to this appointment? In that state, right, we're in our ego mind, in that state, it's very difficult for people to connect to their loved ones, right? And you're just thinking of the next task to the next task. So that's why, like, if you right before bedtime, when you start to relax, right, the ego mind starts to lift and the subconscious starts to rise. That's when really you, you can connect to your loved one. So I recommend for anybody right before sleep, just try to think of your loved one, or right when you rise right in the morning, try to think of your loved one. It may be a little easier for you to feel them or think about them. The other thing too, everybody out there, it's going to feel as if you're making it up. That's the most important thing I want you to know. It's going to feel that it's in your imagination. And the reason is because it is in your imagination. That's the side of the brain we use to connect to spirit. So that's simply what's happening. That means you're doing it right. Okay, so I think just trusting that more and more is really, really important to your own personal connection to connecting to your loved ones.

Yeah, I want to second that, because I've done just a tiny, tiny bit of mediumship training. And I had a couple exercises where it's like, try to connect to this person. And I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna make something up. And I did. And sometimes, you know, I'm not a professional medium at all. So sometimes it was wrong. But a couple of times it was like, really right. Like, yeah, I was surprised. And I'm like, well, I'm just making this up.

Yeah. And we're not, we're not making it up.

Yeah, there's, I think, I think there's, I love this conversation we're having because there is some mediums say that everybody can do what I do. And I disagree with that. It'd be like something to be like, you know, Beethoven saying everybody can play, or Mozart saying everybody can play piano.

I love to say Michael Jordan. Everyone can dribble a basketball. Not everyone can be a Michael Jordan.

Exactly, exactly. That's, that's the analogy I was going for. So yeah, there's some people like that. It's like they're just naturally gifted, and I could practice for the rest of my life, and I'm never going to get there. But I can start somewhere and I can get better. And maybe we can all be professional mediums, but we can learn to connect with our own loved ones.

Oh, 1000%. Yes. And everybody can create and establish a spiritual practice. And, you know, in doing so, not only is that going to bring more balance, more peace, more connection, it's going to help you make more decisions that are in alignment with your higher self because you'll be connected to your higher self. And you will have an opportunity to connect to your loved ones more easily and clearly if you, if you practice. It's a practice.

Yeah. Well, you talked about a couple things. You talked about that intention when we go to sleep at night, the intention when we wake up in the morning. What are some other things that we can do?

Well, I feel like again, expanding that awareness. So things that you could do to practice expanding the awareness is when you do wake up in the morning, you can have a thought of that loved one. Take a moment and think of what it looks like outside. You know, what color is the sky today? Listen to what are you hearing? Are you hearing birds, dogs barking? Are you hearing children playing? Are you hearing cars, trash trucks, tune into every sound that you can possibly pick up on. You know, I am nosy, nosy, nosy. When I go out to a restaurant, I will literally tune in to just feel the vibration of a couple next to me. How are they feeling? Are they happy? Are they connected? You know, just to practice feeling. We're so taught to shut our feelings down. So when you can really practice, you know, you are going to become more sensitive. But I think it's important in order to help that awareness really become stronger. Once that awareness is stronger, it's easier to connect to your loved ones. And there are no synchronicity. So if— excuse me, coincidences, there are no coincidences. So if you really let go of the idea of a coincidence, you will only see synchronicities, and you will start to go, okay, well, wait a minute, there's a sign here, there's a meaning here, this is connected. And I think those things will really absolutely help us.

I like that. And I have to say that, as someone— I'm an engineer by training, I'm very rational, left-brained kind of person. And we've been taught that everything is cause and effect. So there are no, you know, So these things happen because this happened. And we're talked out of synchronicities. But the more that I've studied about it, and you know, Jung was really big on synchronicities. It's like, there are, there are synchronicities, there are things. And when some things happen, the timing of which are just like astronomically, the odds are against it. And we deny it, we say it was just, it was just luck, it was random. Yeah, it will literally change your world when you start to believe in synchronicities. Yes, absolutely. It makes the world just a different place.

Yes, absolutely. I agree.

So let people know where they can reach out to you, how and what, what you offer.

So they can reach me on my website at kolbirebel.com and on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, @ColbyRebelMedium. That's the nice little handle that I have. And what do I offer? Where I love offering the mediumship services. I also offer the psychic services as well, just to help people with direction and clarity in their lives. I teach, so I have the one-on-one program. And I also offer classes that people can also join. So they have a fun place to practice as well.

And your podcast.

And my podcast, The Colby Rebel Show. Yes, yes, yes.

Well, any last thoughts you'd like to give for anybody listening today?

I just know, you know, I really applaud your listeners. I know how difficult it is to move through grief. It's, you know, that takes a lot of will and takes a lot of strength and it takes a lot of courage. I say be kind to yourself, be easy on yourself. You don't have to have a time limit regardless of how long it's been. And some days are going to be easier than others. But just remember that your loved one literally is one thought away. That's as far as they've gone, is one thought away from you.

All right, that's awesome. Thanks, Colby, for being here today.

My pleasure, Brian D Smith. And thank you so much for having me. I really enjoyed our talk today.

All right, have a good afternoon.

Thank you.

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