Healing Inherited Patterns with Dr. Lotte Valentin | EP 473

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you. Close your eyes and imagine. What are the things in life that cause us the greatest pain? The things that bring us grief are challenges, challenges designed to help us grow, to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we've been buried. But what if, like a seed, we've been planted? And having been planted, we grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes. Open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is Grief to Growth. And I am your host, Brian D Smith. Hi there, I'm Brian D Smith. I want to welcome you to Grief 2 Growth, where we explore life's biggest questions: who we are, why we're here, and where we're going. So whether this is your first time tuning in, you've been walking on this path with me for a while, I'm really glad you're here today. This show is a safe space to help you navigate grief and discover the hidden opportunities for growth and transformation that life presents us, even in its most challenging moments. Today I'm thrilled to welcome back someone whose story deeply resonated with me and so many of you in 2022. It's Dr. Lottie Valentin, and she first joined us in episode 210 way back in May of 2022. If you remember that conversation, you'll recall how her two near-death experiences turned her from a staunch atheist into an evidential medium, a medical doctor, and an internationally known spiritual teacher. Her journey from tech analyst to intuitive healer, starting medical school at age 54, was nothing short of extraordinary. So if you haven't listened to the episode, it's episode 210, uh, it's in May of 2022. I encourage you to go back and listen to it. In today's episode, Dr. Lottie returns to share what's unfolded since we last spoke, and it's really powerful. We'll dive into the Kendraya Method, her unique form of ancestral healing rooted in ancient wisdom and spiritual science. You'll hear how she's helping people unlock long-buried patterns, some passed down through generations, and heal at a soul level. We'll also explore her light mapping system, a transformative tool that helps individuals find alignment in body, mind, and spirit. And we'll talk about how— why healing even one soul can create ripple effects across an entire family line and even in humanity as a whole. So whether you're carrying inherited trauma you're seeking deeper healing, or you're curious about what lies beyond this life, Dr. Lottie has wisdom for you. She brings science, soul, and spirit together in a way that's grounded, is accessible, and is profoundly healing. And as always, I invite you after the episode to continue the conversation at grieftogrowth.substack.com. You'll find an article there on today's show. And you can comment, reflect, and interact with me and with other listeners. So let's welcome back to Grief to Growth, Dr. Lottie Valentin.

Ah, thank you, Brian. It's such a pleasure to see you again.

Yeah, it's great to see you again too. We were just saying before we got started, it's been 3 years. You know, time is just, is really crazy the way that it works, right?

I mean, seems like yesterday, but on the other hand, seems like 10 years ago because, I mean, time has just been flying for the past 3 years and so many things have happened in how I work, what, you know, and we're going to be talking about the Kindraya and the light mapping system, uh, and it's just fascinating how all of it really began with my near-death experience. And, you know, we all came here to do something, and sometimes we don't know what that is, and we sort of just blindly walk through life. But at some point, right, some of us say, hmm, wait a second, now I understand why it is that I had to go through that. Why did I have a near-death experience? Why did I have to be sick for 12 years? Why did I have to go through all that? Well, from that became who I am today. And now it's my turn to give back to the people and help other people, just like, just like you, right? It's, it's the traumatic events sometimes that propel us in a new direction.

Yeah, that's, that's— I think it's very true. I know it's true. I've seen it in my own life and other people's lives as well. So I did refer people back to the episode, but for people that weren't able to listen to it or haven't heard before, could you just quickly summarize kind of the things that you went through that led you to, to do what you're doing now?

Yeah, we'll do a quick recap. So I had two near-death experiences. One was in 1992 and one was in 1994. And the first one happened 10 days after I had given birth and I was hemorrhaging and the ER kept sending me home. Well, eventually, luckily, I hemorrhaged to death in the ER. Luckily I was in the ER and that was my first near-death experience. And I left my body, you know, up to the ceiling and had this epiphany of You know, everything is fine on the other side. It's just peace and love. And the next morning I started hearing the spirit world, and my sister-in-law had just passed away, and I had no belief system in place to believe in the spirit world. I didn't believe in anything. I thought you die, it's black, you're gone. So the next morning I hear my sister-in-law and she says, everything's gonna be okay. I'm literally thinking, this is it, I've lost my mind. Like, what is going on? And How could I be outside my body and still be me? Well, this whole event led to what's called bone marrow suppression. So I had this blood disorder for— that lasted, well, for 6 years. I barely left my house. And for another 6 years, I thought I was never going to be normal again. And 12 years later, I went to my— you know, I started doing my prereqs for medical school. But that second near-death experience happened when I was really sick, and I had this blood disorder, and I literally didn't have an immune system. And I left my body, but the second experience, I was shown what I called at the time, because this was 1994 and we didn't have Google yet, and we couldn't put into Google grid around the Earth, right? Now you can put grid around the Earth, show me an image, and you'll see something that looks very, very similar to what I was shown. And to me at the time, it looked like a silvery, glittery fishnet. But what I was told was that everything on Earth is connected to each other, but everything on Earth is connected up to this grid. And that is literally what my work has become today, right? But then over several years, those 12 years, I kept hearing the spirit world and I would know things before they happened. And I thought it was all coincidences and I would write things down. I would have a book and write things down so I could say, okay, This is not a déjà vu. This happened 2 days ago. I had this dream, or I saw this, I had an image, and I could verify my own experiences. So after 12 years with these training wheels on, that's when I was guided to go to medical school. And then I went to medical school when I was 54 and then graduated. And as soon as I got out, was sent— met a woman that in a training for craniosacral therapy, and she was a medium, and she had trained at Arthur Findlay College, and she said, Somebody is here that wants to give you a message. And it was my mom. And I was told I have to go to Arthur Findlay College and study mediumship. And I didn't really understand why. And I went back and forth several times over 2 or 3 years. And, but now I understand why, because I had to develop the skill. I had to hone the skill. So for all these years, I had received messages from the spirit world, but they were related to my life or, or people I knew. But I didn't know even that it was possible to bring in a loved one for somebody else until I went to Arthur Findlay College. So it is the combination of my medical education, my mediumship training, that has led me now to work with ancestral healing to help people create healing in their own lives.

Wow, that's quite a journey. And I can only imagine that at that age to say medical school? That— how did that land with you or— and with your family?

So I know it is kind of an interesting topic. So the interesting part is that my father was a general practitioner and my mom went back to work when I was 12, and I was the fourth kid. I was the last kid. So she, she was a, like a hospital floor administrator. So the first person you see when you go to the hospital who sits at that desk and then guides you to go, no, to room 4549 down that hallway. That was my mom, and she just worked part-time. But my parents' friends were all doctors and the wives were all nurses. So my whole childhood, I grew up hearing my parents talk about medicine nonstop, 24/7. And if they had friends over, they would talk about medicine. They would say, hey, I have, you know, this patient with this, I don't know what it is, and none of the labs are coming back. Everything says normal, but there's something wrong, right? So I grew up up listening to all these conversations. And I always wanted to be a doctor, but it was really hard. And then you had to major in science. And in high school, I said, no, it's more important to have friends because studying science in high school, there was only, I think, one other girl that was going to go to science major in high school. So I said, forget that. I'm not going to have any friends. So I majored in languages and business in high school. And then I met an American. He was an exchange student in my high school, ended up marrying this American and coming to the United States when I was 21. So my whole life changed. Um, and then I ended up— he had a year left, uh, at college at Boston University. So while he was finishing his last year, I worked as the departmental secretary for biomedical engineering. And I would type, you know, this is before we had computers, so you would have to type the research papers on a typewriter. And I didn't even know what I was typing because all all the words and scientific terms. I had no knowledge. I had, you know, school, school-learned English. So anyway, to make a long story short, I transferred into Boston University, majored in business and computer science. Again, I said, you know, I really want to be a doctor, or maybe I should be a nurse like Dad told me, because this, it's, school is not as long, and you know, you could be a nurse. And the science classes were just so intimidating because I didn't have the command of the language yet. So I said, no, I'm just gonna do business. I know about business. I know about computers because I worked in that engineering school. So majored in business and computer science and went to work for IBM as a programmer and systems analyst in Westchester County, New York. So, and that's where, that's where my life sort of started. So I've come a long way. It's been a long, a long journey. But, you know, now I understand that all these experiences were just part of who it made me in the end, right? It's being able to relate to people that work in that environment. And then I had, you know, I was sick and I had all my spiritual experiences. And while I was still taking my prereqs for med school, I went back and got a job as a sales rep in the biotech industry and sold cancer detection. And then I became the national sales manager for that company. That sold cancer detection, and then I went to med school. Wow. Right? So, you can— it's interesting. So, when people say, you know, I'm— I feel stuck, or I need to change my career, there is nothing that's stopping you from doing that. You just have to take small baby steps, right? I tell people to start— take any course at the college to get yourself back into that environment. I don't care if it's basket weaving, but it is, you know, people often feel trapped in what they're doing. They have to pay the bills. You have kids at home. Make a long-term plan. Your kids are eventually going to grow up, right, and move out, and be ready to make that transition at that point. But, you know, to make a change also takes years of planning. You know, I wasn't taking so many prereq classes to get into med school, all the chemistry, all the biochemistry, the organic chemistry, biology, physics, math, and all the things I didn't have. So, and there was no guarantee I was going to get in, but Hey, you got to put one step in front of the other in order to get forward in life.

Yeah, I love that. I love that your life is a perfect illustration of that nothing's ever lost, right? You take these skills that you learn from one thing, you roll it over to the next thing, and you don't even know how it's going to play out. Also, it's never too late to make that change. You know, sometimes we feel, as you said, that we're stuck. So you've made this incredible transformation position, but also it's still, still healing, you know, from the medical thing to, to the mediumship to what you're doing now. It's still, still healing. So since the last time we spoke 3 years ago, how have things changed for you since then?

Stay with us, we'll be right back.

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So things have changed a lot, uh, because I have really been guided to work with ancestral healing. And now I understand why it was that I was shown that grid around the Earth, that silvery— I call it the silvery glittery fishnet because I grew up in Sweden and rowing the boat for my grandmother, laying the nets in the ocean. And when you lift that net out, those little water droplets on the fishnet sort of sparkle in the morning sunlight. So, but, you know, it's having to go, you know, gone through all that, that's what guided me to enter ancestral healing. And it's part of that journey is the mediumship. So when I was doing— so it really got me interested in ancestral healing. I swear the spirit world just kind of knock on our door and tap us on our shoulder and says, hey, I'm gonna show you a couple of things. And we keep wondering why things keep repeating or why things keep appearing, right? I feel like that's the spirit world saying, hey, over here, here's your baby carrot, go in this direction, right? Mm-hmm. Because I was doing, I was working as a, as a medium. I was, I was still in practice, uh, in my clinic and I was doing mediumship readings on the side. And I had like 3 or 4 readings in a row, right? When you start thinking, Am I talking to the same spirit that I talked to yesterday? No, this is a different spirit, right? Because the message was the same and that the pattern was the same, and it was almost the identical readings for 4 different people in 4 different places on Earth. And it started with a grandmother coming in, and then I would say, your grandmother, you know, it feels like a motherly figure, it feels like, you know, like could be a mom, mom or a grandmother, if it's more like a grandma. And this person had a really difficult life and had a lot of, uh, like, uh, abuse from the grandfather in one way or another. And then I would see 3 children, and then I would say, I see 3 children, so, you know, your mom is one of these children, and she married somebody just like her dad, and that was your father, and he was also abusive in one way or another. And the client would say, yes, that is exactly correct, right?. And this happened like literally 4 times in a row, 4 readings in a row. And I said, what, what is it with this pattern repeating? And why is it I'm getting the same kind of reading? That has never happened. You get the same kind of readings. Usually they're very different. Mm-hmm. And I had been already been drawn to ancestral healing. And so I started studying ancestral healing, which is a form of counseling. And I started learning how the patterns get passed down. From one generation to the next. Well, now that has evolved even more because when I work as an ancestral healer, I don't just use the counseling method or the theoretical or, you know, the cognitive mind thinking. I, I integrate that with my mediumship skills and somatic awareness or intuitive abilities. So when I work as an ancestral healer, I integrate both my, my learned method of how patterns typically show up, but also, you know, sometimes we don't know. Sometimes I'll be working with someone who says, well, most people will say, I— there's a part of the family we don't know well, right? It's very common. Either you— nobody has a real good grasp on everybody in the family. There's always aunts and uncles and people we didn't talk about. But when you tune into that, sometimes, you know, you use your mediumship skills or somatic awareness, you can say, you know, It feels like it's your father's side, or the client says, I feel like it's my mom's side, right? That is that intuitive awareness that we have. We know where our struggles originate. So if, for example, you have— you feel— you say, well, I don't feel seen and heard in my relationship, right? Common one. Well, why is it that you don't feel seen and heard? What is that? Now, if you just use your cognitive awareness, you'll say, well, because I'll do the dishes and, you know, my partner never does the dishes, and I ask for help but they still don't do the dishes and they don't listen, right? But we have to go lower. We have to take it one step further and say, why am I even having this experience? And when you start looking at the ancestral patterns, they always emerge. I, I feel like there is nothing at this point in my journey, I feel like everything is tied somehow to our ancestors because we come from the ancestors. We carry their DNA, right? We have, you got 50% of mom's DNA and 50% of dad's DNA. So you come from your ancestors physically, but also there is this, you know, the quantum physics, right? Where we are all connected through time and space. And the soul, right? The soul is forever there. The soul comes and inhabits this body, right? Right now my soul is living in this body. And when this body is not functioning anymore, just like my computer, my, my, or my phone, my phone, I drop my phone, it's destroyed. It, it gets the screen crashes and I have to get a new phone. You go to the store, you get a new phone, and what do they do now? They download all your stuff from the cloud, right? The soul of your phone is sitting in the cloud. But that's kind of how we are too, because when I had my near-death experience, I was still me. When I was outside my body, I was still me. So the body is just a container for the soul, and the soul is forever there. So, you know, we don't— it's just, it's just the body that, that disappears, that dies, right? Just like the phone dies and we get a new phone, but all your content on the phone, the soul of the phone, you just download it, right? So I always feel like our soul is literally living in the cloud, right? The soul is in the cloud. And, you know, when it's time to reincarnate, it comes, it downloads itself into a new, a new container, a new body for a new experience. So I feel like we, you know, we're all interconnected that way. And all the souls in our soul families, our friends, we're all part of a greater, a greater system, a divine system that we can't really put our finger on because we're stuck in this body, right? When they put me back in my body, it's like they stuffed me back into a little matchbox. It's like all of a sudden you don't have that access. You just feel like you got shrunk down. So, but that's how we got— how we have this experience, because we're having, you know, this earthly human experience. And if we had access to all of that on the other side, we wouldn't have that experience the same way.

Yeah, that's a great way of looking at it. I love the, the cell phone analogy. I think it might be the first time I've heard that. You know, you're absolutely right. It's like, it's so easy now. You get, you get a new phone and you just, you know, that phone basically becomes the same phone as you had before. Different hardware, but it's all the same information. And when it comes to ancestral healing, you know, we, of course, we know now about DNA. We know that's passed down. But as you alluded to, there seems to be more that's passed down than just the physicality of who we are. There's, you know— and I know there's some new work now with epigenetics where people are saying it's not just the DNA, it's also experiences that can be— passed back and forth between generations.

Yeah. So they know from DNA studies that trauma gets passed down on the DNA. So they have done studies on Holocaust survivors where they can see the, the genetic markers that are passed down. They've identified, I think one of the first ones was FKBP5 gene, right? And it's like, they have more than one marker now, and they can see that trauma is actually passed down and things change, right? So if your ancestors had traumatic experiences of some sort, their, their epigenetics is going to now change. They're going to code for a different gene to make the offspring have a better chance of survival. And they've done studies, they've done studies with mice. And I was trying to remember what the study was called— epigenetic and epigenetic inheritance of ancestor odor fear conditioning. And it was led by Brian D Smith, and it was a study that was published in Nature of Neuroscience, I believe, in 2013. But it was a study that was led by Brian D Smith, and what they did is they took sperm from— first they took the male mice and they shocked them. They let them smell a smell like a cherry blossom smell. Every time the mice smelled the cherry blossom smell, they would give them a little shock. And after they did that a couple of times, of course, the mice said, "Oh, cherry blossom smell, you know, stay away." Right. Then they took the sperm from these mice and they artificially inseminated the female mice. So they didn't even get to meet the female mice. They just took the sperm. And then the offspring of the female mice, those pups were, you know, jumpy and nervous around the cherry blossom smell, even though they had never experienced the shock.

Wow.

Themselves. And so you can see, you know, even so, they're doing studies on mice, but they also have identified genes of the Holocaust survivors where they can see, uh, different things that happen that gets passed down. And, uh, you know, these different traumas are going to set off, you know, people who have been starved, people who were survived concentration camp and things like that, their expression, their genetic expression is gonna change. And so when they have offspring, right, now they have grandchildren, but because those epigenetic changes happen to their DNA, they can actually be— there's studies out saying that they can be more liable to have different kind of diseases because of the coding of their, you know, their ancestors changed the genetic expression. So, you know, we think that We're here and we're unaffected by our ancestors, but that is just one component, right? The DNA is just one component of who we are because there is also the interconnectedness, right? Through the, through the grid or through Indra's net, which is an old teaching about how we're all interconnected and we're all like a node on this net and we're all reflecting our experiences back and forth. Um, and so we're part of this greater soul. I mean, everything is interconnected in the end. We are, you are connected to everybody in your family, but also to everybody that your family knows, right? So you're connected to your, to your father, obviously you came from him, but all the people he knew, even when he went to school, when he was a child that are not even alive anymore, right? You're connected to. That person and to all the people that that person knew, right? So just think of how wide this net is, because we're all just part of the greater divine source in the end, and we're all interconnected.

Yeah. Well, you know, that's a really good point because we've gotten so— in our society, especially here in the US, we're so individualized. We think, you know, everything's me, everything starts and ends with me. I'm hearing more of these concepts. And you mentioned Indra's net, which is an ancient concept that we seem to be starting to come back around to. And then some of the cutting-edge stuff that says that, yeah, what happened to my grandparents affects me literally physically today.

Yeah, no, it does. And it does so more than we think, right? When we also look at the people that got the Nobel Prize in physics, I think that was in 2023. There were 3 physicists that received a Nobel Prize in physics, and they discovered the interconnectedness of the different atoms. So if you have, if you have 2 atoms and then you have another set of 2 atoms and only 1 atom from each pair meet, right? The other 2 atoms that were left behind are still now interconnected. Because just like we were saying, your, your soul family, right? Because 1 member of the, of the pair met. But that, that member was part of this other pair. And so now the pairs that got left behind, right? Those single atoms, they're still connected. And whatever affects one atom is going to affect the other one. And that's what those people got the Nobel Prize for in physics. But that's exactly how I interpret the interconnectedness of— I, I feel like we're all, we're all sitting on a node in Indra's net, right? So imagine a spider web surrounding the Earth. We all have a little spot on that net where we, where we all sit. But everything that we do, all our actions, they have an effect on other people. Just like when you're in a bad mood, you're— the people around you are gonna know. They're gonna say, whoo, Brian is in a bad mood, right? You enter the room and you're all like huffing and puffing. People will know that even if you don't say anything, right? Or if you come in and say, I am so happy. All these great things are happening. You haven't even told them yet, but people know you come into the room and you, that we feel your happiness, right? But that's the same thing with when we create healing or the actions and the actions and reactions that we have in life, they affect not just ourselves or the, the immediate person, but, you know, think of yourself as sitting on this net. It reverberates, it ripples out. Through this grid, through this interconnectedness with everybody else that we know or that we have in common.

Wow. So was there a particular event that inspired you? Because I know we talked about your journey, the medical stuff and then the mediumship, to move into the ancestral healing. What inspired you to make that move?

Yeah, so it was a combination of the mediumship readings. When I kept seeing the pattern repeating. Yeah, right. And then that led me to actually study the counseling, the form of counseling of ancestral healing.

Okay.

And then I had— I got that. But then as I started working with it and working with clients, I then realized that when I'm working, I'm also working mediumistically. I'm tuning into the spirit world. I'm tuning into the client. I'm feeling things in my body. Sometimes the client feels things in their body, or they know things intuitively, right? And so really, to create healing, we— it's sometimes just the cognitive awareness is not enough, right? Because sometimes we say the way we think of cognitive awareness, it kind of stays on the surface a little bit. Instead of saying, why is it, why is it that this struggle appears? Why is it that You know, sometimes people have, they get depressed or they sort of experience grief, but they haven't even lost anyone. And they're like, where is this coming from? Why am I all of a sudden, I'm a happy person. I've had several people with this. Why is it that all of a sudden I feel really depressed? And it's like somebody died, but nobody has died, right? But they still have this depression. But then when you start looking, well, who, who in the family? What, what is your age now? Okay, I'm 45. Okay, who experienced grief in your family around your age? And sure enough, it'll be like mom or grandma or somebody had profound grief. That grief can be passed down and that next, the next generation picks that up. And especially if it wasn't processed through, right? The things that get passed down are things that are sort of swept under the carpet. You know, somebody just stuffed that grief down. They didn't process it. They didn't, right? And then it sort of lives on in the universe. Everything is an energy in the end. And so all the different things that our ancestors experienced that they weren't able to resolve, it sort of just sits there energetically until somebody comes along and says, well, why is it that I have this issue, right? Those are the cycle breakers or the empaths or the healers. For their lineage. And they question, well, why is it that I have this feeling? Where is it coming from? It doesn't make any sense. Right?

Right.

And then, you know, take steps towards that.

Yeah. So this is a— this is another way of healing. And I was thinking about, you know, like, in— and again, in our Western medicine, typically we're looking for physical mechanisms. I have— I have this because this happened, uh, you know, this— this gene or whatever. Which may be a carrier of some of this information, but there's more to it beyond that. And we see family patterns where people have anxiety that runs in the family or depression that runs in the family or even some physical conditions. So this was, I think, another component of how we can look at that.

Yeah. And I'm going to say, so our experiences and the way things show up in our life, it's never just the one thing. So when you think about Well, if people say, I grew up in a house where, you know, it was dysfunctional in one way or another, so they pretty much had to learn to take care of themselves as a child. Well, that's, you know, that, that's their lived experience. That's part of the issue, right? And we often go to counseling and we say, you know, I had this lived experience as a child and they just left me alone and there was no food in the house and all these different things that happen. But then when you start looking at the bigger picture, so sometimes we do a lot of counseling, a lot of therapy, which is good for many different things, right? But sometimes that's not enough, and we go through years of therapy and we still don't know what it is. We still can't put our finger on it until one day we start looking at the bigger picture and say, well, why is it that I grew up in that family? Why is it that I had that experience? What was the experience of my parents that were so dysfunctional. Why were they so dysfunctional? Where did they come from? What was their life like when they were children, right? And you start mapping things out and you realize that many times you are, um, you're repeating a pattern. Um, many times it's a common— we have an alignment with someone. So let's say, let's say mom wasn't happy in the relationship because dad was never home. He, he traveled a lot for work, and when he was home, he had disregarded the family and he just watched TV, right? So the children were never seen and heard. The wife didn't feel seen and heard, right? Then you look at where that woman that is complaining about the husband is never around, never available, doesn't give any emotional support. Well, if you look at her parents— this is just an example, this could be an example, doesn't have to be that this is the issue true, but it could be. So if you look, let's say this client's parents, them, her dad also was never home. He was always working, he was always traveling. And so the, this daughter is repeating what the mother experienced. The mother could never figure out how to change that. She came from a different generation. She was told to be subservient to the man and you just do what you're told. So that was never anything that was discussed. Nothing was ever resolved. Her husband might not even have known that she was unhappy in the marriage, right? Because she was raised to be subservient. Then the daughter comes along, but what happens is that we subconsciously merge with that behavior. So as a child, we have unconditional love for our parents regardless if they're nice or not because we're dependent on the parent. We're not gonna have a place to sleep or get fed if it wasn't for the parent. So as a young child, like a toddler, we see our parents just like if you were a child, you would know when to ask for ice cream. The ice cream truck is on your street and you know if mom is in, mom or dad is in a good mood, if it's a good time to ask for ice cream or not a good time, right? You know your, your parents' emotions, but that's the same thing with everything else. So you tune into that as a child and you say, hey, Mom, I can see that you're unhappy in the relationship with Dad. Dad doesn't see you. He doesn't hear you. He's ignoring you. Don't worry, Mom. I love you so much. I'm gonna help you carry this burden. You grow up, and then guess what happens? You invite somebody into your marriage and marry somebody that is just like Dad, and you're literally reliving Mom's life until you wake up and say, hey, wait a second, Why did I marry somebody just like that? I'm repeating my mom's cycle, right? And these are the people that have that epiphany. And then you can break that cycle, right? And you can— if the— if you're supposed to stay together, then, you know, there would be counseling, there would be, um, you know, healing happening. But if you're— sometimes it's not. Sometimes you're meant to break apart. And so there's more, right? There's our own life contract, or what we came to the, to the world or to Earth to know in this life. And I think we all have, we have things that we came to, to learn, things that we came to do in this life. Because many times when I have worked with astrologers, they will tell me that my near-death experience was supposed to happen on that specific day, right? And the different things that have happened in my life, and they can clearly see it in the chart. So I'm gonna say there must be some kind of a movie script in the background where we sort of incarnate and say, you know, we're up at the, at the coffee counter in, in heaven. And we say, you know what, give me number 35. I'm gonna marry someone who's not gonna see me. And then I'll, I'll take number 73. I'm gonna try and heal that ancestral wound. My mom is going through the same thing. And then I'll do number 46. Right. And we come down with all these sticky notes all over us and say, I don't know, what am I doing here? And why is that I have all these issues to solve? Yeah, right. But I'm gonna say there's, there are certain things we incarnated to learn in this life. And then there's a component of free will where, well, if you go this way, then this thing's gonna happen. If you take this road, then this thing's gonna happen. It's like we have different detours or different paths. But I'm gonna say that, that the main things in our lives are definitely part of, of who we are in this life, right? So when I think of what people have told me about my astrological chart, and then in numerology, right? And do you know numerology?

A little bit, yeah.

A little bit. So in numerology, I learned that it's only like 10 years ago, I learned that I'm a life path 11. So life path 11 is a master number as a healer. So I literally came to the world to create healing for other people, to help other people find a way to heal. And I mean, now my life makes sense. Did it make sense when I was sick, when I was in my 30s, and I had my near-death experiences? Absolutely not. It just turned my world upside down. I didn't know if things— if I was ever gonna get well. I thought I was never gonna have a job again. I was just gonna be housebound for the rest of my life, right? Because I was so sick and I had to go through all these things. But now I know that it's in my chart. That was in my chart too. And I've had, I had one astrologer tell me, oh, and then you got well, like, let me see, you got well when you were 44. I'm like, you are kidding. You can see that? And he said, yeah, that has to do with your past lives and blah, blah, blah, and karma and what you're here to learn in this life. And you can see how certain things we came to have certain experiences in this life. Right. And that's just part of the journey. And then we have things that, you know, what I'm wearing today or I'm gonna eat for dinner is my choice. But yeah, right. I feel like the choices aren't, uh, are smaller than I think sometimes we think because everything is sort of outlined. I'm gonna say we have an outline. We have chapter outlines for our life, right? And, and the different things we're here to learn.

Yeah, I think that can be, uh, very freeing. And there's, there's, you know, I love the way you put it because I, I just kind of conclusion I've come to also. Some people say there's— they go to the extreme to say either everything is planned out and you can't change anything, it's all, you know, it's all deterministic, it's a mechanistic universe, for example. Or they say, well, um, everything is just random, there's, there's no pattern at all. And we can see that we can see indications of both as we're going through life. And the good news about what we're talking about here with ancestral healing and stuff is there is, we can change some of these things once we become conscious of them, we can break some of these patterns. So we're not saying that you're stuck in this pattern and you can't get out of it.

Absolutely. And especially when, you know, for anybody that's listening, anybody who's listening to your podcast is gonna be somebody like that because they're, number one, they're listening to your podcast. Right? Grief to growth. So there is— they're already on that path of trying to, to change things. And there's— it's so interesting because, I mean, the most miraculous things happen, like, because I've been working with this for so many years now. And I always— it's always amazing when you hear a common problem is, I can just say, you know, the generation that is not the Gen Z generation that has a more of a tendency to cut off communication with their parents if they feel they weren't seen and heard by the parent or they felt the parent was not nice to them when they were little, right? And there's— communication disappears. The communication is just closed down. The parents are often the people I work with then, and they'll say, I don't know exactly what's going on, but I can tell you what was going on when my child was growing up. I understand that they're mad at me. I'm trying to fix it. I don't know how to fix it. But then you go into that parent's childhood, that parent's parents, the grandparents, and you clearly see the pattern, right? Sometimes there is this, uh, cut— cutting off the communication is rampant within the family. That was something mom did, that was something dad did, that was something they did to their brother, and it just continues on.

Hmm.

But the interesting part is that once you uncover the reason and it doesn't have to be that they're repeating that pattern. It could just be coming from something else, right? But it has an ancestral component to it. But once you heal the ancestral component, and this is the interesting part, the person— let's say I'm working with a mother who hasn't communicated with, let's say, their daughter for 2 years, and they keep reaching out, but there's never any return of the call or text or letters or anything. We do an ancestral healing with the mother, right? And guess what happens? And then 2 weeks later, I get an email saying, guess who just called? Hmm. Wow. Right? What is that? Right? That is that interconnectedness. Because when we heal ourselves, when we figure out what is it that is causing this problem, when we go deeper into that and we create healing for ourselves, that is that ripple effect that happens with that. All the souls are interconnected. Through this, this web around the earth, right? Because we're all interconnected. And when we heal, that feeling, that creates a ripple effect out the same way as when you walk into a room and you're happy, all the people in that room is gonna say, wow, Brian seems like he's in a really good mood. What happened? Did he win the lottery? Or, right? We can all feel it, right?

Right.

That's the same thing. Even though that person is not aware, They're not even present. They could be living in a different country. It doesn't matter because when you heal, when you create healing for yourself, that's all you have to do because that is gonna have a ripple effect out to all the other souls that you know. Mm-hmm. Everybody that's connected to you. And that's what's so interesting with ancestral healing, cuz I don't know, it has this, what I call like a magical component where that interconnectedness, we can't explain that. With science yet, right?

Right.

So it is, it is just something we, that we see, you know. When I work like this, I see what happens and the changes that are possible for people. And it doesn't matter if it's— sometimes it can be physical, right? Because I'm a doctor, I get, you know, a lot of people saying, oh, you know, I can heal this, you know, I'm very spiritual. And I'm like, no, don't even try, because you have to work all this. Why would you only work a spiritual component? Why would you only, let's say, pray or meditate to get rid of your cancer? Why aren't— why wouldn't you use what's available in the physical world at this also, right? You want to work with all of the things, not— don't put all your eggs in one basket. Use all of it. Yeah, you work with it spiritually, work with it medically, do everything you can, because that's going to be your best shot. I don't know why you incarnated, or which way you picked that you were gonna heal, right, in this life. So I tell people, or people that say, oh, I don't wanna take a drug. I don't like to take drugs. I, I, I would rather take an herb. And I'm like, well, in this case, you know, you're gonna do a lot better at the drug because you, we're gonna get you well in 3 days. But the herb could take, you know, 3 weeks and you don't have that time right now. Right. Sometimes, you know, it's not just what we wanna do, but it's what's best for that situation. And I tell people, well, what if you incarnated to learn to take pharmaceutical drugs in this life? Or what if you incarnated to learn to take a homeopathic drug or an herbal drug, right? We don't know, right? So again, like, why put all the eggs in one basket? Just try all of it and see which one works for you. Because you're not just— we're not just— it's not the same highway for every person. We all have our own roads. We're all unique in this life. And we all have our unique experiences. And that includes how we heal, how we sort things out and everything.

Yeah, I'm so glad you said that because I do hear people say things like, I don't like to take drugs. And, you know, it's like, you know, there's plant medicine, there's medicine that man has developed. They can both be helpful. So why would you cut yourself off from a whole, you know, I think we're giving the knowledge we were given to develop these incredible medicines that we've developed for a reason. We've talked a lot about how Kendraya can help people. Let's talk more about what is Kendraya? What is the method?

Yeah. So Kendraya is an integration of not just that, right? When you go to counseling or you study ancestral healing, you're working with a cognitive, right? Understanding, the understanding of why it is that you're having an experience. But sometimes we don't know exactly why that is, or we don't have all the pieces of our ancestors, so we can't know exactly where it's coming from. Or maybe we were adopted and we don't even know our birth parents, right? But if we, if we put them all together, so we use the cognitive model of saying, well, it gets passed down this way, and this is what you feel, and this is how you describe your issue. But then when we also add the somatic experience, sometimes, you know, we have an issue. Well, if we close our eyes, where do we feel that issue? What does it feel like? Where is it sitting? And if you use your super— what I call the superconscious, we add the intuitive aspect or the mediumistic aspect, right? We can tune in. And because when you— when I work, I'll sometimes I'll say, you know, it feels like it comes from your father. I don't know anything about your dad's side of the family. And the client will say, yeah, that's how I feel too, right? Mm-hmm. Again, there is that— it's like we have an intuitive knowing of sometimes where the pattern is coming from. And then the client may say, well, you know, my dad's family had all these issues. And then all of a sudden, we can unwind that thread and we can say, oh yeah, it comes from dad and his dad and probably, you know, 5 ancestors before that. But it's the father lineage, right? And then, you know, we have a direct relationship with what it is that we're struggling with, maybe with dad, right? And many times people say, um, oh, I know, I know my wound's coming from dad, but the wound is actually coming from mom because they think it's dad because dad was mean to them in one way or another, but they're really, they're really aligned or repeated the pattern of mom, right? So it's just a matter of sorting it out. But once we can, we have to integrate all of it. So we, you, instead of just working on the cognitive or talking the mind and rehashing, um, our struggles, right? Because to a certain extent, we keep talking about our struggles and we keep talking about it and we sort of, it's like a broken record, right? You get stuck in that groove for, for those of us who grew up, who are old enough to have played records, but now the records are back. So You know, you get stuck in that groove and it just goes around and around, but you want to get out of the groove. And by using your somatic abilities and intuitive abilities, you create, you know, a three or a multi-layered system where you're accessing your ancestors. So when I work with Kendraya, um, I help people tune into that, tune into the field, tune into the ancestors to create that healing and Once we can recognize where things are coming from, that's when we can also create healing. Not any different than when you're learning division in school, and as a child, you may struggle with division, and then one day, all of a sudden, it clicks into place. And now it's super easy. You know, you fly through the homework, right? But up until you get that aha moment saying, now I get it, right? I'm gonna say it's the same thing with our struggles, whether they're physical or emotional or spiritual struggles, that once we create that aha moment of why is it that we're struggling in the first place, where is it coming from, where does it have its roots, that's when we can heal it. Because once we understand it, it's like it just goes away, right? Because we get— now it's clear.

Yeah. So tell me about some of the transformations that you've seen using Kandraya and your light system.

Yeah, oh, there's so many. Um, so people all of a sudden, right, community relationships work. Um, communication is re-established with family members. Um, I mean, I had one client once who hadn't spoken to their mom in like 10 years, and we, you know, did the Kendraya ancestral healing, and literally, um, and then I— a year went by. And I didn't hear from the client. Client came back for something else and said, oh, you won't believe what happened after we did that healing. My mom is like my best friend now. She calls me, we talk like almost every day, right? I mean, it's just miraculous changes that, that happen. And there's something that happens, there's, you know, what in the field itself, right? So Kindraya is you're working with the field, you're working with that invisible grid. We are all part of the field. So you're working, you're restoring the coherence of the field because whatever your ancestors couldn't heal, and they sometimes it's impossible to create healing that the maybe you had the person had a terrible relationship with the father who is the client's grandfather, but grandpa died. And so there was never any, you know, there was never any healing done between the two. Oh, well, that gets passed down to the next generation now, because it's all the things that never heal that get passed down, right? Those are, those are our struggles. And of course, all the good things that get passed down, that's not a problem, right?

Right.

Only the things that are, that were unresolved by the ancestor, that's what gets passed down. So, and then we, we find ourselves in these patterns, or people saying, um, you know, I'm on my third marriage and that didn't work out either. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Right? And then you do an ancestral healing and it's like it all clicks into place. They see it and then whoop, now the right person comes into their life and now they have happy, you know, happy life from then on. People's depression— I've had people had, you know, depression for many years and then we do an ancestral healing and all of a sudden the lights come on and it, you know, they email the next day and say, I don't know what happened, but I woke up and it's not there, it's gone. So it's just You know, sometimes I'm gonna say there is a dramatic change. It happens very quickly. Like they wake up the next day and the world is different, right?

Yeah.

All of a sudden. And sometimes it's like 2 weeks. I don't know what's the 2 weeks seems to be a common one, um, with the communication, almost as if the ripple effect goes over there. That person is thinking about it for a while and says, you know, something changed. I should reach out. Uh, so sometimes it's that, that 2-week window seems to be a magical window. Probably something quantum physically out there that's happening.

Yeah.

But there's, you know, and people, physical things can also be right there. When we talk about physical problems, we could have been born with a problem that requires surgery that nobody has figured out what it is and they haven't found it yet, right? And that's just that person's journey, that's that person's life. Again, do we know what you have? No, not always, right? And sometimes we're told, oh, it's, you know, you just have to work on it, pray more, or meditate more. But sometimes it's just something you were born with, a congenital defect. And other times it could be something that happened. Like, I had one client once that said— I said, why is it that you're— you keep having all these physical issues? And I said that it just it didn't make any sense. There wasn't something that was congenital. It wasn't something, you know, it was kind of these, what we call diagnosis of exclusion. When you can't find anything on the labs, you give the person a diagnosis because that's the only thing that fits. But we don't really have labs for it, right? But we have to code a diagnosis. So you say, okay, what— tell me about, you know, tell me about your ancestors. Well, so it turns out the client said, well, When I was little, my mom passed away. She was really sick. My whole childhood, my mom was really sick. And I was 10 years old when my mom died. And at that funeral, I remember saying to myself, don't worry, Mom, I'm going to be sick just like you. I love you so much. Right? And guess what happened? You know, you do the healing and you realize that that's what that person has been carrying and all these kind of weird symptoms that is not really a true disease. Right? Pain in the pain here and pain there. And right. But there's nothing that's really wrong. Right? And that so many times those kinds of things can be related to an ancestral component. Now this client just happened to remember telling herself that, right? Many times we don't remember it, and it can just be that we love the parents so much and we say subconsciously, right? This person remembered saying it, so it wasn't subconscious. I love you so much, I'm gonna, I'm gonna help you carry this through life. I'm gonna be sick just like you. So sometimes it's an ancestral component that is causing it, and sometimes it's not, right? Again, we can't say— we can't slot everybody into the same slot, right? You know, everybody has a unique journey in this life. But one thing I can say is everybody carries ancestral wounds, right? We all have ancestral wounds that come from our previous generations. It's just a matter of figuring out which ones you're here, you know, which ones you're here to heal and figure out what that wound is, because everybody has ancestral wounds.

Yeah, well, I love the way, um, because I'm, I'm not much of an either-or person, and I, I'm an engineer by training, and I, I believe in the physical, and I think we've done great things with physical things, um, but I think we've gotten too caught up in our society with ignoring the, the mind part of of our mind-body connection, let alone spirit. We know that mind can affect the body. That's why we have the placebo effect, which is well documented. And every medicine that comes out has to go through a placebo trial because we know that effect can be so strong. But we tend to ignore that when it comes to, you know, we going in the doctor, I've got this going on. It's like they don't ask you what's going on in your mind or let alone what's going on in your ancestry.

Yeah, I know, because it takes too long. And the way the system is, it doesn't have time for that. It doesn't even have time for figuring out what is different, you know, sometimes they have a physical problem, right? People fall through the cracks all the time, right? If you don't have something that's the normal stuff, many times the doctor doesn't know what to do with you because it's really something very, very particular or it requires a specialist. But again, you know, we— who do we see when we go to the doctor? We see the general practitioner, the family practitioner, general practitioner. And the way we are trained, right?

I'm—

that's how I'm trained. We get the scope, the most common ailments of make sure you don't miss this. If they have this, make sure you send them to the specialist. Oh, if they have this, send them to the ER, right? You get all the red flags, make sure you don't miss anything. And then for the rest, it's all the most common things. Now, a lot of people have weird things that only a specialist would know. You would have to see a vascular surgeon in order to get that diagnosed. Right? But if we didn't even learn about it— so you go to the general practitioner, we don't learn about that. Yeah, that's, that's a specialist, right? That's what they learn. But sometimes the general practitioner doesn't even know where to send you. So that's why a lot of people fall through the cracks. I get a lot of those when I work as a medical intuitive. A lot of people— and then I use my, you know, my medical background and my mediumship and my intuitive abilities. But I get a lot of those, and probably from growing up in my medical family, right? I heard all the stories as a child, you know, know, my parents talking and saying, oh, they missed this, they missed that, right? And it's common, and it's still like that today. Yeah, even when you go to the ER, the ER, right, if you're not there to have your life saved, right, the ER doesn't know what to do with you. They're trained in saving lives. They're looking for, you know, blood clots. Are you bleeding out? Are you breathing, right? All your organs look like they're functioning. All right, go on your way. Send you home because they— that's what they're trained to do. They're not going to find that weird vascular defect that you were born with, right? Because they're not trained to do that. And then you go back to your general practitioner, he doesn't know. So it's, it's very difficult. It's very difficult for people to find, find the correct help in our current system.

Yeah. So what would you— how would you like to see our current system change?

Oh yeah, I mean, from the roots up, I think it's very difficult to, to change our system because there's, you know, the whole system would have to change. We need, you know, definitely we need more time. We need more time because anybody who becomes a doctor, I'm gonna say, you become a doctor because you want to help people, you want to help people heal. But the way our regular system is set up, there isn't enough time you know, for the doctor to really get to know the people. Or, I mean, when my— when I grew up, you know, my dad knew a lot of his patients by name, and it was so different back then. You know, the neighbors would come into our house and my dad would, oh yeah, you need an antibiotic shot here, let me save you a trip to the hospital, right? And it was much more tribal, I'm going to say. We were more of a tribal society. When I grew up in the '60s than we are now. Now it's just you go see the doctor, he comes, you know, he or she comes in, they see what the problem is, they order some labs or to order some imaging, and you're on your way. And nothing shows up, they're like, okay, well, it's all clear, you don't have to come back. But the person is still not feeling well. So it would require a big change where, you know, we're going back to getting to know the person, getting to know their, you know, the family they come from, their home life, right? And you get that from people who have left the system and have opened private practice, but then that becomes inaccessible to a lot of people because then that costs more money and it's not covered under their insurance. And so it's a very difficult, you know, system that we have. And yeah, I hope that we can, you know, change it to a better system. And, you know, everybody should have healthcare. It's—

yeah, that you made a really good point there, you know, about changing the system because I do, I get to talk to people like you who do what we call alternative medicine or whatever you would whatever word you want to put on it. But as you said, a lot of times there are people who have left the system. That's actually— there are always people who have left the system. And it's hard for an ordinary person to have access to that, which is why, you know, we're doing what we're doing now. So I know that you are doing some work with the Shift Network and you've got an event. As we're recording this at the end of December of 2025, you've got an event coming up. Tell me about that event you've got coming up with Shift Network.

Yeah, so I'm really excited about it because I've taught a couple of classes before for the Shift Network on the more traditional or cognitive only way of looking at ancestral healing. But this time I'm going to be teaching Kindraya, which is what I developed, which is that integration of intuitive awareness with cognitive understanding and somatic awareness. So, you know, not only are we going to figure out what it is, you know, each person is here to heal, I will take you on a journey, but it will also help awaken people's intuitive abilities. So we'll be doing work, going back and forth between doing superconscious work, which is intuitive work or mediumistic work, however you wanna look at it, um, to somatic work, feeling it within our body, to cognitive understanding of, well, where did this come from anyway? Mm-hmm. And so we're merging all three to help create healing for people so that they can really create true healing, you know, for, for themselves, for their lineage. You know, backwards and forwards in time, because when we heal here, we are still connected to the people in the spirit world, right? They're our ancestors. All— we are all souls. We just happen to live in a body. They're living outside the body right now because they're in the spirit world. And, and forward in time to our offspring or, and to the people that are maybe not even born yet, because when we heal, right, that wound is not going to get passed down. We're healing that now. So by just focusing on ourselves, and that's the beauty of it, because many times people say, how can I change my partner? How can I change my child? How can I change? Right? And it's focused on changing, but that's not how we're gonna heal. The healing has to happen from within. All you have to do is focus on yourself, create healing for yourself, understand why, why it is you're struggling with something, and, and then create this healing for yourself because that will ripple out to all the people that you know. Whether they're in the spirit world or here on Earth or not born yet.

Yeah, I love what you— when you said that, because as you were talking about the, uh, the Gen Z thing and kind of how communication with the parents— I didn't know that that was a thing. I just happened to keep seeing it over and over again. And, and I see the parents, because they're my generation, struggling, like, like, okay, how do I— how do I get them back? How do I change them? As opposed to, you know, The only thing we can really change is ourselves.

Yes, exactly. Because, because the reason you have been cut off, right, in the first place is because they didn't appreciate the way you interacted with them. Well, why is it that you interacted that way, and where is that coming from? All you have to do is heal yourself, start understanding what— where is it coming from? What, what is it that's causing this friction or non-communication and focus on healing yourself. And that's the beauty of Kindraya and ancestral healing is that all we have to do is just heal ourselves.

Yeah, that's awesome. So, Dr. Eladi, I know people are going to want to hear more from you. We'll have a link to the event in the show notes. So for anybody that's listening to this, or if you're watching on YouTube or whatever, there'll be a link in the show notes. But if people want to reach out to you, how can people reach you?

Uh, the best way would be to go to my website, which is just drlottet.com, and on there you can see all the different types of sessions and, and work that I do. And if you're, you know, would like to work with me personally, you can just book a session, find a time online.

Yeah, well, thanks so much for being here today. I know that, um, I know people are going to get a lot out of this, and I think when it comes to healing, I love the concept of the Indra's net, that, you know, if we heal ourselves We're healing our neighbors and we're eventually healing the whole world.

Yes, exactly right. Because all you have to do is focus on yourself. Stop thinking you're going to try and fix somebody else or change somebody else. Just work on yourself. That's all you have to do. And it makes life so much simpler too, because once we realize that, it's a lot simpler because we can let go of trying, you know, we can lead a horse to water 100 times, but you can't make that horse drink, right? And it's— that is exactly what's happening. But we can change ourselves. We can heal. And when we heal, again, that is what's going to ripple out. Just like if you walk into a room and you're happy, everybody knows it. Awesome.

Well, thanks so much for being here today. Enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

Yeah, thank you so much.

Dr. Eladi has a free event coming up on February 3rd. So if you're listening to this before February 3rd, 2026, Make sure you go over and check out that event. It's on ancestral healing. There's going to be a link in the show notes to find it. So check it out. Hi there, I'm really excited to tell you about my latest ebook. It's 4 Lessons That You Can Learn From a Near-Death Experience Without Going Through All the Trouble of Dying to Learn Them. I've been studying NDEs for several years now. I am completely convinced that not only are they 100% real, but that there's some very universal wisdom that we can get from the near-death experience. And I've distilled that down in this book into 4 short lessons. And I've also given you all the reasons why I believe that NDEs are absolutely real. So go to www.grieftogrowth.com/NDElessons to pick it up for free. www.grief-the-number-2-growth.com/NDElessons. I hope you enjoy it.