Her Mediumship Heals Both Sides- Karen Docherty

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Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

Hey everybody, this is Brian back with another episode of Grief to Growth. And today I've got with me Karen Docherty.. And Karen is a psychic medium. She's a mentor. She supports souls on both sides of the veil by bridging communication between the physical and non-physical world. Karen is very passionate about the healing power of these conversations for the person who's left earthside after loved ones pass, as well as for the soul who's now on the spirit side. She also teaches others to skillfully and reliably use and trust their own intuitive maybe even psychic abilities so they can be fully connected to guidance from within and beyond. So with that, I want to welcome to Grief to Growth, Karen Docherty.

Thank you, Brian. It's a pleasure to be here.

I'm glad to meet you today, Karen. I think the work that you do is very special and very needed. We were talking before we get started. And wow, your video just went crazy.

Hang on a second.

It's— I don't think it's on your end. I was, I was on a meeting. For everybody who's watching, we might have some technical issues because apparently Zoom did an upgrade recently that's causing some strange things. The other thing I found that sometimes people who are psychic and people who have had NDEs can cause electronics. So I don't know if you've had that experience or not. But getting back to the, to the, what we were talking about. So I think it's, what you do is really, really important because people they really want to know that their loved one is okay. We don't really— we're not really sure how, how do we know that? But getting back to you for a sec, how do you— how did you get started in this? How did you find out about your abilities?

Well, as long as I can remember, so from early, early childhood, I was always aware of other people that weren't of this world, but I didn't know really the terminology. I didn't know who they were. I just knew that we weren't alone. And then as sort of I grew up, maybe 4, 5, 6, 7 years of age, it became a lot more intense at times. So it would be where I would then voice that to usually my grandmother, my father's mother, and she just used to say, "Don't worry about it, they don't harm you." So it's almost like it became normality for me, and I knew that she understood, so that made it normal for me. And then as I progressed into my teens and later teens, I was kind of receiving messages for people. It might be that I was out with friends and I would say, "Oh, your grandfather's here and, you know, he's saying X, Y, and Z." And at that point in time, obviously I knew that not everyone did that, but I still didn't think I was a medium. I still just thought that it was something I was able to do in a very normal way. It's the only way I can put it. Sometimes hard to describe. But then But when I reached about 20 years old, it really intensified, and it got to a point where when I was going to sleep in the evening, I would hear lots of voices, lots of different voices, and it became quite overwhelming for me. So I went and spoke to a medium, and this medium had said to me, "Well, you know that you need to develop this." And I said, "Why?" And she said, "Because you're a medium." And I still at that point didn't believe it, but as I looked back on my life, I was always fascinated with mediumship. I think my first book that I ever bought was a medium called Doris Stokes. She was an English medium, very well known over in the UK, and I had bought her book at the age of 10 and read it cover to cover. And I'd watched mediums and been fascinated with everything, so it all kind of made sense at that point as I went into development for that. But that did take some time to get there.

Yeah. So your, your grandmother, she said, don't worry about it, they don't harm. So she was assuming that they were actually there and you were seeing or hearing them. Do you know that mediumship— does mediumship run in your family?

Yes, I later learned that she was mediumistic, and her sister was a medium who went out to work as a medium, whereas my grandmother didn't go out to work as a medium. But she used to— like, my memories of her doing tea leaves and, you know, speaking to people about everything to do with 'Her spirit is in my memory, etched in my memory.' So she was mediumistic as well, which is why she understood. Whereas my parents, it's not that they didn't like it or didn't understand it, but I just think that they thought I was making it up, or it was my imagination, or it was just, 'Okay, yeah, yeah,' you know, that kind of thing. Whereas my grandmother, I knew that my grandmother actually understood, and she used to tell my dad, all the time. Oh, here's Karen, she brings spirit with her. And I remember her saying that so many times. So it all kind of made sense later on.

Okay. And so you mentioned that you saw a medium, she said you need to develop this. So how do you go about developing it, especially with someone who's a natural born medium? So what do you do to develop it?

The development side of it really was more about understanding what was happening. So for me, the minute I sat in a home circle, we called it, we call it over here, it's a small circle of people that sit and develop together. And it's really, it's very traditional from, you know, 50, 60, 70 years ago. That's the way that mediumship was developed. And so when I sat within that circle, it really just was there. It wasn't like I had to go looking for it or think, well, where am I getting this information from? It was just there the minute I started to talk. But the development of it was more about understanding how I was working as a medium, where, where I was receiving this information. And really, I guess, for me, which I don't think a lot of people study enough, is the foundation of understanding that we are spirit first and foremost, and how we can connect to the other side.

Yeah, that's a good point. So could you talk about that a little bit more, that we are spirit first and foremost? What does that mean to you?

Yeah, so we all come from the spirit side of life. You know, we are there before we come here, and then we are born into the physical. And that is why we all have psychic ability to varying degrees, because in the spirit side of life, it's a mind-to-mind communication, it's a thought communication. So there's nothing physical. When we come here and we are born here, most children up to the age about 5 or 6, display that psychic ability all the time, whether they're seeing people, whether it's just things they pick up on. But the reason for that is that when then they go to school, usually the 5 senses are developed and the 6th sense just gets shelved, so they don't look at it. So later in life, it might come to the point where, you know, people feel that psychic connection and want to develop it at that point. But going back to where we come from and why we are spirit, when we are in this physical body, We are still spirit, and that's where all of our emotions come from. It's where our inner knowledge comes from. There's not one person that walks this earth that doesn't have their own intuition, their own psychic intuition, whether they call it a hunch, whether they call it intuition, whether they call it psychic, whatever way they look at that, it comes from somewhere out with the physical realms. It doesn't come from the mind, it comes from the gut. Feeling, which is inner part of you, which is psychic and the spirit part of you. So that is how we know that we are spirit in human form. And then when the body dies, the physical body dies, through whatever circumstance that might be, the spirit goes home. And then as soon as we are home, we know where we are. We know that we are home in spirit, and we know that we continue to exist in a different realm.

Yeah, I think it's a really important point. And it's something that I really didn't come to understand until much later in life, that the preexistence of the spirit, you know, I think a lot of us still think of ourselves as our bodies, or even, even in some traditional faiths, people think that you're created in the womb, you know, and that's when, that's when you come into being as a, as an entity. But I think the reality is that we've always existed, that we are spirit. And that's, that's a really important point that, that, that you made there, that we come from spirit, we come, we have this physical experience, and then we go back into spirit.

Yeah, I think, you know, there's so many different beliefs, and there are so many different ways to look at things. And as you know, someone who does this, I understand that it's sometimes hard to get your mind around that concept, especially if there has been conditioning of other belief systems. So I think that that's not a bad thing if you don't know about this, or, well, you know, if you're just exploring it. I think it's something that is a very personal thing. But I always say the life force comes from spirit. The life force— the life force doesn't come from the physical, it comes from spirit. And so we have to have been there first who come here. And there are so many kids that talk about their, you know, memories sometimes of— and people will say it's reincarnation and call it different things, but sometimes it's just a memory of what went on before. And so there is a lot of evidence, and actually scientific evidence as well, that backs up the fact that there is a spirit or soul within the human form.

Yeah, so I want you to expand a little bit on what you just said. You said Some people have memories and they'll call it reincarnation, but you seem to think it might be something else. What would that be?

Yeah, well, reincarnation is a wide, wide topic, and people think that reincarnation is the same person coming back again and reliving life as someone else, when it really isn't. Reincarnation comes from maybe the same spirit. So for instance, I am Karen on this earthly journey, and so the spirit of me will go home when my body dies. But it might be a different emanation of my spirit that comes back here again. So it's not me, because I've lived this life, I've had this time as Karen, and I've gone, I've learned what I've learned, I've evolved in the way I have, and I've gone home. So there is no reason for me to come back here again. So when children particularly talk about, you know, memories of things that they couldn't possibly know, and a lot of the stuff checks out, you know, when people check the information out, it's there, it's valid evidence. It's the connection to their spirit that they're picking up on. So it will be another emanation of their spirit that lived that life, but they are so connected. And I think that's the important thing to remember is we are very, very connected to spirit, our spirit, to the Great Spirit or Source, whatever you might call that. But, you know, our minds can get very confused with how it all works. And I think sometimes, particularly with past life regression and things like that, it can— I feel it can sometimes do more damage than good, because then people don't know what to do with that information. And they don't know where to go with it.

I appreciate you saying that. And there are a lot of paradoxes out there. And a lot of people come to me and say, well, which is true? Is it this? Or is it this? Do we live one life? Or is there reincarnation? And, and I've come to the conclusion that you have, It's really kind of both. I will never live again, obviously, as Brian D Smith, but there's like, there's levels of reality, there's like nestings, right? So the particular part of my spirit that chose this time to be Brian D Smith is only going to come here once, but there's a greater part of me that's still already back home that's lived all these other lives, and will emanate in other ways. But the connection is so tight that we get confused and think it's were the same. It reminds me of a friend of mine had a near-death experience. And she said she looked out and she saw all these people. And she's like, I didn't know whether they were other lives of mine or people that I had known because I was so close to them that they felt like me.

Stay with us. We'll be right back.

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Absolutely. And that makes complete sense to me, given what I— the way that I work. But I think also that feeling of our soul family, we have to remember too, that because we come from there, we already have our soul or spirit family that we are connected with, even if we never knew them in this lifetime, you know, they, they're still there, they're still part of us, it still will feel familiar to us, we will feel the love from those people. So it could be that your friend was either seeing her spirit family or it could be this emanations of her spirit, it could be either, but I really like the way that, you know, they looked at that because sometimes I think, like I said, it gets very confusing, there's so much information out there that I don't know if people know what to believe or what to look at and sometimes Actually, it does more damage because then people just can't, you know, perceive that information. So then they just say, oh, it doesn't exist, or it's rubbish, or it's, you know, they can't have that belief, which is a shame.

Yeah, exactly. People get, they get caught up in the details, and we think we want to know all the answers. I don't, first of all, I don't think we can even understand it from the human perspective because the things we're talking about are concepts that are beyond us. How can I be an individual and a collective at the same time, but I think we are. And you have to look at the overall picture, the overall, you know, message and lesson is that we are spirit. We come from spirit, we go back to spirit. And I tell people, don't get caught up on the details of whether you're coming back here or not, worry about that once you get there.

Absolutely. I think again, that's why, you know, with past life regression and things, it's very interesting. Of course it is. But How do we even know what's coming from the subconscious mind of something that we might have picked up on from a TV show? Or, you know, we don't, we don't know that information, so it can't be evidential as such. Some of it might be, but it can't all be. And like you've just said, I think that people get caught up in either what happens after this life, what happened before this life, but we have to realize that we are spirit. In this life. And this is our time, you know, this is Brian's time, this is Karen's time to exist in this world and see what happens without getting too taken up with the before and after as well.

Yeah, well, it reminds me what Jesus said, you know, there's enough trouble for today. So stop, don't worry about, don't worry about tomorrow. So we, this, this life is, this life is one life, you live this one life, this at this time, and then worry about the other stuff, you know, at that time. So you mentioned that, and I think everybody kind of knows this, mediumship can be healing. So what's your experience with people coming to you and getting readings? And what ways does it help them heal?

So yes, mediumship is for healing purposes. It's not for any other purpose. It's not for— I mean, there's many different ways to read, of course, but any, any reading that you have with a medium should make you feel uplifted and make you feel better and maybe give you clearer vision on things. So if someone was coming to me for a reading that was coming for things about their own life, maybe they need guidance, maybe there's something going on in life that's tough for them, that would be under a psychic reading. I would help that person, give them the guidance from what I was receiving from spirit and from what I was picking up from their own spirit and what was on their path. So that then gives them healing because they go away feeling so much better, so much clearer, and it kind of empowers them to live their life. Mm-hmm. If someone comes to me through grief, through losing someone, which is obviously the mediumship part of things, the healing that comes from that is quite amazing, and it's a completely different feel to the psychic. So when it's a mediumistic reading, you know that there is help going on for both sides of the veil. So when I connect with spirit as that part in the middle, I can feel the loved one in spirit receiving some nourishment from that communication. I can feel the person in front of me receiving the same nourishment from that communication, and I'm talking about soul nourishment where that is needed. It's something that needed to happen in that moment to help them through their grief or help them understand that their loved one is okay and that they still exist and that they will see them again. And even situations that might have come up where there's been conflict in a family and someone passes away, you can heal that too, you know, just by having that conversation between spirit and the person in front of me. So there are many different ways that mediumship heals, but ultimately, whenever I'm with someone and they leave me, I know that there has been a great healing that takes place. And it's not a healing that's just in that moment. It's the healing that goes on and on and on, because if it's empowering somebody, then they're living a better life because they're— they know they're making better decisions, or they're feeling more settled. If it's mediumistic, I know that when that person goes away, that information will be processed. They will have a stronger belief system because they've had evidence that their loved one is there, and it means that they themselves can connect with their loved one. And that does wonders for the person here, but for me, from a medium side of it, it also does wonders for the person in spirit because they also then feel like they got through. Like, yes, we got through, we got that communication forward. My daughter knows how much I'm there, or whoever it might be, you know. And I think for, for them, I can feel the joy in spirit when I make a connection for them.

Okay, because we don't, we don't often think of the person in spirit being healed. We think about mediumship for the healing of the person here. But, and that goes to, I guess, the fact that the person in spirit— because there, again, there's another belief, I believe misguided, that when people, when they go into spirit, they forget about the earth, they forget about, you know, here, they don't care, they've moved on. But I hear you saying that that's not the case.

It's not the case. And if it was the case, then there would be no need for mediums. You know, there would be no need, there would be no purpose to a medium. There would be no need for me to be born into this world to be a medium if that was the case, because I would be working against the tide the whole time. But actually what happens is naturally born mediums are there to provide that bridge if they choose to do that, because just because you're born a medium doesn't mean you have to do it. But usually it's a vocation, it's a calling of your soul that you can't resist and you can't ignore, and it's the most fulfilling thing ever. But our loved ones do not move on without us. They walk among us, they are beside us every day. But they do go on and have their involvement, their life in the, in the spirit side of things. That doesn't mean they leave us.

Yeah, so when people, you know, people go to mediums, and that's one way we can know our loved ones are still with us. But what about things like signs? How do we How do we recognize signs? What kind of signs can we get? And how do we interpret them?

There's a lot of generic signs that you hear people talk about. So white feathers, certain types of birds, um, coins is another one I hear often. And these are very generic signs. Now, I don't mean that they're not there and they're not real. They are real and they can be real. But I think the biggest thing to understand about your loved one in spirit is that they will communicate with you the way that they know you will understand them. So it might be a piece of music that comes on, you know, you're thinking of them and suddenly on the radio their song comes on. It might be that you feel their presence but you can't see them, there's no rhyme or reason for you to think they're there other than a knowing that they are beside you. Signs from spirit are very subtle, they're not big, you know, they're not putting it on a billboard, it's very, very subtle, where they, they need to use a lot of energy to make that happen. Um, it might be that you're driving along a street, you know, and it's a street you've never been on before, and then you look at the name of the street and it's the name of the person in spirit. It could be any of these things that spirit will influence our minds right at that point to perceive and take that as a sign. The Biggest thing that I say to people is don't discredit that, you know, I think because our imaginations or our minds will kick in and say it's imagination. Our minds will tell us that we are imagining the whole thing. It was just because we wanted to think that or feel that it's us that's doing all of this because our mind is there to protect us, right? So if our mind doesn't understand where that's coming from, then it will tell us it's not real. And so we have to be strong enough then to go into our spirit and our gut instinct, intuition, and feel that that was real. And we have to believe in that. And the spirit one, and the person in spirit will be overjoyed that that sign and that message and communication got to their loved one.

Yeah, you know, it's interesting because I've talked to a lot of people that say, I don't, I don't get signs. And typically, once I dig into that conversation, we'll say, well, except for except for this and except for that. But I think it can be confusing to people because they want to, you know, we want to have like a dictionary of signs. These are all the signs I could possibly get. So, you know, and they'll say, well, that can't be a sign that, like you said, I'm driving down the street with the same name on it, or a song coming on the radio, or, you know, the signs can come in a lot of different ways.

When my mother passed away to spirit, 7 years ago, my sister and I had bought her concert tickets to see Barry Manilow, who she absolutely adored. In a way, we bought them for her Christmas, and it was in a way to kind of help, kind of boost her and make her fight, you know, and stay, um, something to look forward to. Anyway, she passed away in February, and the concert was going to be in June, and my sister and I decided we would still go. So on the morning of that concert, I got into the car, and as I put the radio on, I heard the DJ saying, "I've got a very excited lady on the line, and we're going to talk to her right after this song." And I had said to my partner, "This is a message from my mum." And he said, "What do you mean?" I said, "I absolutely know this is going to be a message from my mum." So anyway, the song played out, the presenter came back on and said, who am I speaking with? And the woman said, Catherine, which was my mum's name. And he said, why are you so excited today, Catherine? And she said, because I'm going to see Barry Manilow with my two daughters.

Oh, wow.

It was amazing. And I knew it was coming. I didn't know what was going to be said, but I knew it was going to be something because I just felt that connection. And then obviously, when I met with my sister, I told her, and that made the day amazing. Because we knew that my mum was there. Now, there was a real woman on the end of that phone called Catherine, and she was going to the concert with her two daughters. So if I allowed my mind to come into it, I could make that logical. I could say, well, it was, you know, it was coincidence, you know, that woman was there. But I didn't allow my mind to come into that because I absolutely knew that my mum had influenced me to switch the radio on right at that moment in time and listen to what they had to say. And that's how spirit works. Not always that they are presenting the very physical thing. It could be that they are influencing our mind, or eyes or ears to hear or see something in that moment that would resonate within us.

Yes, I think that's a really, really good point. Because we don't, we don't understand how all this stuff works. And sometimes, as rational people, we think we're rational people, we're like, well, since I don't understand how it works, it must be a coincidence. But it happens so often. And I know in mediumship, like, for example, like in gallery readings, someone will say, I've got a person here whose name is whatever. And they, they, I was at a medium demonstration once, and there's a connection to white roses. And there's this, and like 4 people will stand up and be able to take all of those things. And it's like, how does spirit get us all in the same room? But it seems to happen.

It does happen. And when I do my gallery readings, the same thing happens where I will give the evidence, put it out there, and there might be 3 or 4 people that can take that. Or I'm working with someone and then someone else puts their hand up and says, I can take all that too. And at that moment in time, I always say, well, I'm with this lady's mother at the moment, but it means that your mother might be pushing in at the same time and just bringing something that you can take from this too. And if you think about it, the spirit side of life help all of this communication happen. So quite often at a gallery reading, I will be working with someone and then someone else will come in. I know that that first spirit has helped that second spirit come forward if it's needed, because sometimes the link is stronger with some and it's not so strong with others. That can happen, it varies, um, but they will help one another. So it makes sense that if two people have very similar things that they can look at, then it makes sense that that will happen at the same time.

Yeah, I can say I've seen it happen so many times. And some people are criticizing, well, it's because the medium is giving out things that are generic. And it's, and it's, and it's not, you know, I've seen it be very specific things. And it's just, it's pretty amazing that, that these people, like I said, they end up coming together. We don't, we don't understand how it works.

So I was just going to add there, John Edwards, It's a medium that I've watched since I was a teenager. I loved John's work, and it just seemed that when he spoke, it resonated with me. It's like when he spoke about spirit, I already knew that information, so I knew that we were on a kind of similar wavelength with things. There were many gallery readings that I would watch of his, and it would be that the information was so specific, like you said, but two people could take it. But more than that, they were usually sitting together and they were strangers, you know, where they sat next to one another. And it's quite unbelievable in some ways, but it happens. So you're absolutely right.

Yeah, well, again, it goes back to— we think we understand the physical world, and we think it's all cause and effect and rational and there are influences going on that come from outside the physical world that we just, we don't understand. So we either shut it down and say it was just coincidence, or it's my mind making it up, as opposed to accepting, yeah, there's, there's a higher order of things that we live within. And we can, we can, we can tap into that, and we can accept it, and it becomes pretty magical.

That is the word I use all the time is magic. It's something that, that word speaks to me because I just feel on every level with what I do with my mediumship. It just is like magic, and it brings so much to people. It brings so— I mean, I'm lucky, it brings so much to me, you know. I'm very lucky and blessed to be able to be part of it. And it's difficult sometimes. It's not the easiest road at times doing mediumship. It's a, you know, it's a big responsibility. It's something that ethically and morally you have to take on and make sure you're doing what you're supposed to do and not doing more damage, or not, you know, you're dealing with vulnerable people. Sometimes you're dealing with people who are dealing with grief, incredible grief, and so you have to be so aware of that and very humble about it. But at the same time, it's such a blessing. I would, I would not like it at all if I couldn't do this. If I woke up one day and it wasn't there, I just would not be settled with that.

Yeah. Have you found— you said you're dealing— you deal with people in grief, of course. Have you found that deep grief, can it block the communication?

No, never. And I think there's— this is another thing that's out there quite a lot, I think, where maybe someone's been for a reading and it didn't work. And unfortunately, sometimes the mediums have been the ones to say, oh, it was blocked, or, you know, they couldn't get through because of the person whatever emotional state they were in. For me, that makes no sense. For me, when someone comes to see me, even if they're in the deepest grief at that point, I will still be able to get a communicator through. I will still be able to help that person. But I would always recommend to people that they go for a reading when they are emotionally able to deal with it, because it's not for my sake. I will still get that communication, but you don't want someone going away still in an upset place. You want someone to walk away feeling like they had a good reading, you know, a valid reading, something that helps them. And sometimes I think, you know, I get asked— a lady messaged me last week saying that her mother just passed away and it was sudden and unexpected, and she wanted a reading that week. And in that circumstance, I would always say no, like, please go away and just process what's happened, you know, because this is a big deal. You have to process that. And I am here, I'm not going anywhere, so I will be here when the reading needs to take place. But you have to take care of the people here too. And sometimes I don't know that someone in emotional distress or deep grief can take it in the same way and process it, which, which is a shame, because then the spirit person knows that of their loved one. They know that their loved one is in that place. They want to come and help them. But I don't think the reading has the same effect if the person is in the depths of grief and it's too soon.

Interesting. Yeah, because I've heard other people say, okay, well, the person on the other side, it has to be 6 months, or it has to be, you know, whatever.

That's such a myth. You know, I heard that too, before I done my mediumship. The old traditional way was, oh, it's 1 or 2 years, or, you know, and I used to think, how does that make sense if we go over to spirit, you know? And I used to try and play about with it in my mind and try and understand. And then when I started doing my mediumship, um, I very much understood because there was one day I was reading for 4 people, one after another, in the lady's house. And at the end of it, I only ever did 4 as a maximum because it is quite depleting of energy when you're doing readings as well. And the woman said to me, um, please could you read for my friend, she just came in. And I said, no, I don't normally do that. And she said, please, I don't want to leave her out. And I said, okay, I'll give it a go. Once the lady sat down, I received communication straight away. I told her who I had, the name of the person, his wife's name, that he had two daughters, that he died on an airplane from abroad, he'd had a heart attack. I gave her all the information and she just was looking blank. And I said to her, well, I'm so sorry, does, does this not make sense to you? I've maybe picked this up wrong or it's not for you. And she said, no, it makes sense, but he just died this morning and it's my friend's husband. And so that was the same day that that man was able to make a communication with me. So spirit can't— and it's happened numerous times since then— so spirit don't have a time limit. But the other thing I would say is if someone passes away and it's been traumatic or unexpected, sometimes that spirit person, if you like, has to deal with the emotions of suddenly being away from their physical life. So they still have to grieve for that physical life too. So sometimes it can be where you can pick up on the grief of that spirit too, but it's not the same as our grief. It's a different kind of grief because we know where we are. We know that we'll see them again. We know that we are still with them. So it's a different kind of thing. But there are emotional, traumatic situations that you feel on both sides. So although they can communicate, it's maybe a better reading if there's a little bit of time.

Well, you know, you just brought up another, another myth, let's say, that when we cross in the spirit, there are no negative emotions, that we can't feel sadness, we can't feel loneliness, we can't miss our loved ones. So what are your, what are your thoughts on that?

Yeah, I mean, I think that we have to remember that we are emotional beings, you know, and emotions and love come from the soul. So of course, when we cross over, we're going to still have those feelings. It's not— I would say that there's no— you don't cross over and you're in a place where you can't accept where you are. I think that there's a lot out there, you know, there's rescue circles and rescue mediums and things like that, that say they have to move people on into the light and all of that. That's not my particular belief. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but it's not my particular belief because I know that when we cross over, we know where we are, but we still can be sad. We still can feel like, you know, if you think about it, if a father passes away suddenly, he will still have those sad feelings that he can't hug his children physically. He will still have those feelings that his children are worried and upset. Where is Dad? Where is he? Like, he's just been taken away from us. That father in spirit is still going to feel for his family and feel he wishes he could help. And when, again, when my mum crossed over, my sister couldn't really— she accepted it, but she was so upset. She phoned me one day and she was sobbing, and I said to her at that point, Remember, Mum can see this, and we have to remember that we have to help Mum too. And that kind of startled her a little bit. And I said to her, I don't mean that you crying is upsetting her, because I really didn't mean that. What I meant was, let's realize that spirit also have got healing to do, and spirit also have these emotions. So I was kind of telling her that to help her, which it did. And in the end, she said, I never thought about it like that. Now I know that I have to be strong and get through things. And that doesn't mean that somebody shouldn't have grief and shouldn't sob their heart out, you know, if they've lost someone. It just means that we have to realize sometimes that's happening on both sides. And the healing over on the other side is slightly different because it's like, again, they know where they are, they know they're home, they know that this physical life is a very short speck, you know, in the grand scheme of things. Right, right. So, you know, and there's no We have to remember there's no time in spirit. So there's no physical time. There's only time in this side of life. So when someone— if someone crosses over and it's another 20 years before you cross over, for that 20 years, the minute you're with them again, it's like you've never left. It's like you've never been apart. That's why spirit often come through mediums and say, go and live your life. Don't worry, I'm here. Go and live your life. Live your best life. Live for me. And then I will see you again. It's because they don't lose any time.

Wow, what you just said just gave me goosebumps. Because just yesterday, I was talking to a father whose son passed away at 18. And, and it's only been a year, and the guy, of course, is distraught. And he's like, he's missing so much, you know, I just— he's missing so much. So what comfort would you give to a parent that says, my child died young, and now they're missing everything, and I'm going and living my life.

Just again, I would say, you know, that that's the first thing we'll have to know is that they're not missing out, because obviously children should never cross before their parents, you know, that's not the natural way that it's supposed to happen. So it's always, uh, you know, I think it's, it's the biggest thing that anyone could deal with in this life, you know, is losing a child. And so we're always going to feel like they were only 18, they had a life ahead of them. They didn't get to live their time out here. They didn't get to live their life and they're missing things. And here I am living without them and just getting on with normal life.

Right.

I would always say, remember that time thing, that there is no time, there is no divide. That time that you feel you're doing here in physical years is not happening on the other side. So the minute you are with your son again, it will be like no time has passed. It will just be this strong connection. We have to also remember in that, that the child— so the 18-year-old that's on the other side— he won't feel like he's missed out on things. He will know where he is, and he will understand that he didn't get as long here as hoped or planned, or, you know, whatever that might be. But it won't mean that he doesn't evolve on the other side. And The other side is a world of thought, so we still get to do or think about the things that we love. And, you know, that's how the jokes come about of people saying, oh, you know, my mom will be lying on a beach in Spain somewhere, you know, having a glass of wine or something. It's because if we think about that over there, then that's where we are. So they don't miss out, they still evolve, they still develop. But the day that you see them again, It's like there has been no time.

Yeah. I think these are really interesting points. And, and I always have to be careful because people will sometimes, especially people in grief, will take them and run to an extreme. So if you say like, I think one, there's good intentions when people say, well, people on the other side don't have negative emotions, because then we don't have to worry about them. But it makes sense. We're still human. And I, the way I look at it, you tell me whether you agree. I think they feel bad for us. Because like you said, they know where they are. They know we're going to see them again. They know it's like no time to them. But they look at us and they see us grieving. And it's like when a parent looks at a child and your child's on the floor throwing a tantrum, you feel really bad for your child. But you know, it's just a tantrum. And you know, it's just because they couldn't have a cookie. And I think that's, I think that's how it is for when people in spirit look at us, they're like, And that's why they say to us, go live your life. Everything's okay. Everything's going to be all right. It's fine. It's fine. And grieving is okay. Grieving is natural. We're supposed to grieve. I know people, like you said, when your mother passed, it sounds like you are going through, have gone through a grief process. So it's normal. So don't feel like also that, like you're blocking them by grieving, because I've heard that too.

Yeah, no, you'll never block anyone by grieving. Grieving is part of loving that person. And that is, you have to express that whatever way that you need to express it. You will see that people grieve very differently. Some people just are able to pick up and get on with things. Other people could be in grief for a long, long time. So we all deal with it very differently, and no one, you know, no one should worry about that. That is a completely natural place to be. But if we are truly connected to that loved one in spirit, which we are, then we have to understand too that no, they don't They don't want us to stop our lives here because their life stopped here. They want us to go on and do the things that give us the best life, that give us that experience here that we should have. And I think you've made a point there, and I agree with it, that it's more about leaving the loved one. It's more about knowing that they will suffer. So my mum was ill before she passed, so she— we knew that she was going to pass. My mum's fear all the way through was about leaving her kids and her grandchildren. It wasn't necessarily about dying. It wasn't necessarily— I mean, obviously she's sad because she's not going to be here and get to live. She was young, you know, she was 61, so that's young to pass to spirit. But, you know, I had a conversation with my mum about that at the time, and I said, you know, you're, you're young, you know, this is awful. And we were talking about it, and She said, "Yeah, but you know, there's children that pass away. There's people younger than me. I've had 61 years in this lifetime," you know, and she was very positive, so she wasn't frightened to go. She knew there was an afterlife, but she was frightened to leave her family. So sometimes it's more about that feeling of watching them suffer or knowing that they will suffer because of the grief. But unfortunately, you know, it is It is part of life. And as much as I don't think things can be prevented, sometimes, you know, people say, well, maybe it was supposed to happen. That's another thing that I hear a lot within my mediumship, that people will say, you know, like I was speaking to a woman last week and her son passed away at 18, and she had asked me, was that the plan? Was that his life's journey? That's not something I believe. He passed through an accident. So for me, I was saying to her, that was an accident. That's exactly what it was. It was an accident. Spirit can't come in and change the physical things sometimes. You know, like my mom had cancer. Now, if spirit could come in and take that cancer away, they would do it, right? Because they want to be here as long as possible. But that can't happen because unfortunately, that's the human side of things. That's the physical. Realm that we live in and physical things happen. So I don't necessarily believe that things, you know, people are meant to pass right at that point. There's different beliefs on that. And I respect every single one of them. But personally, for me, that didn't make sense to me.

Yeah. And that's one of those ones that I still wrestle with, because people are very adamant about either everything is planned, or nothing is planned. I kind of think it's somewhere in between. I think there's, I think there's an overall arch of our life. There are things that are a lot more probable than others. And I think spirit, if we want to use that term, is really good at calculating those probabilities. So this is where your life is probably going to go. But there's also free will, and there's sometimes stuff just happens.

So there, he will take us through a lot, you know, like, and that should because that is what we are here to do, is have that free will and have that human experience. But the soul knows everything. And I think if you think about people that have passed away unexpectedly, but just, you know, an hour before, the man phoned his wife to say, I love you, and he never does that on his way home from work, and then unexpectedly passes away. The soul knows. The soul knows what's coming up. But that doesn't mean it was planned. But the soul still knows. So the soul will prompt something like that, you know, that I love you. But it doesn't mean that the conscious mind knew that it was going to happen.

Yeah, well, again, we can get in some of these dilemmas, because I know a lot of times spirit will tell us something that's coming up through, through a medium or through a dream or whatever. But then there's— we also know that sometimes spirit is surprised. I've heard some mediums say, oh, they always know, like 6 weeks before you cross over or something like that. But I've heard people have near-death experiences. It's like they get there and then they turn around, they're like, wait, you're not supposed to be here. And they send them back.

Yeah. And your spirit will always fight for that survival, I think, you know, the human part of you will fight for survival. So if someone has a near-death experience, and they do kind of go into that place in between the two, and spirits say to them, you're not, you're not supposed to be here, or like, turn back, or whatever it might be, or they felt themselves that they didn't want to go at that point and the fight to come back, then again, that's a free will thing, and that's a strength of spirit. And, and the same goes for someone who passes away. Like, my grandfather passed away when we weren't with him. We'd sat with him the whole day, and I had said to my mom, you know, I think he's going to go when we are not here. He doesn't— he won't go when we are next to him. He won't. He'll, he'll just not do it because he won't want us in the room. And that's exactly what happened. And in fact, I called her that night and said— and this was years before my mediumship— and called her and said to her, oh, you have to go back, I have a feeling he's going tonight, you have to go back. And she said, no, no, he's fine, he was settled, you know. And she just wouldn't listen, and he did pass away. And then afterwards she said to me, why didn't I listen to you? And I said, you weren't supposed to. Like, I was obviously picking up on the feeling of him moving in some way or detaching in some way, but that can happen with your own sixth sense about something as well. Like, I was car crash, unfortunately, last year, and it was only me in the car, and the car went into a full skid, and I couldn't be in control of the car. But what happened before that, I was traveling for an hour, and I kept thinking, what would I do if I was trapped in a car? What would I do? Would I get out? Where would I get out? And I kept going through, and then I kept kind of bringing myself to again and saying, why are you thinking that? That's a really negative thought. Push that out. You don't want to be, you know, thinking like that. But it kept happening. And then an hour later, turned a corner, full skid, went straight into a wall, into a tree, and the car was a complete wreck. And I didn't have one scratch on me. So I knew after it, I thought, Karen, you were being told. You were being told, and you of all people should have listened. You of all people should have realized this was some message and just been careful, slowed down, whatever it might have been, to go around that corner. But I didn't, because the human inside of me was thinking about, what am I going to buy for tea tonight? You know, what am I going to do with the kids at the weekend? So there's— your soul will always speak to you, whether it's this side of life, or that side of life, it will always be there.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, yeah, there are those, those prompts that we have sometimes. And then we get again, we get back into we can, can we avoid things or not? And why do we get them? And I don't know, it's interesting. There's a woman that had kept having these visions that she was going to die in childbirth, and for a very specific thing, and kept telling her husband and her doctors and everybody. And they're like, okay, you're just making this up. This is all in your head. And finally, she convinced one anesthesiologist to at least bring in an extra crash cart or something. And of course, she had that exact condition she thought she was going to have. And it's, it's an interesting dilemma, because she she just knew she was going to die. And it's like, well, didn't she? She did die, but it was only for like 37 seconds. And they were able to bring her back because she had the vision. So again, it's like, was it predestined? Was it preordained? Was she supposed to save herself? We'll never know.

Yeah, and my view on that would be that her soul absolutely knew what was going on, and she wasn't supposed to go. So then that warning was there, and she listened to it. And I've had You know, I had an ectopic pregnancy and knew it was ectopic and told the doctors after getting the positive pregnancy test, "This is not going to go as planned. This is ectopic." And they looked at me like, "Why are you saying this? It's all fine. You're fine. Your bloods are fine." Everything was fine. And they sent me home and I phoned again and said, "I promise you this is ectopic. I can see it. I know that I'm going to have to come to hospital." "No, no, no." And then 3 days later, Lo and behold, rushed into hospital, the tube had ruptured, it was ectopic. They got me into surgery straight away, and, and even the midwife who I'd spoken to came and apologized and said, I'm so sorry, I didn't think that— there was no signs. And I said, it's not your fault, but I knew, my soul was telling me that that was going to happen. So if it's a strong feeling like that for any listeners, if you have such strong feeling, don't go into a panic about it, but try to kind of understand that you're not making this up. You know, this is something that's going on if it's as strong as that.

Absolutely. We're getting short on time. I've been really enjoying this conversation with you. I do want to ask you about spirit guides. Because we've been told we have spirit guides. How do we know who they are? How do we get in touch with them? How can you help us with that?

So we all have a spirit team, regardless of what we do in life. We all have a spirit guide, a spirit team, and it's different guides at different times. So it's almost like being in, you know, elementary school. You wouldn't have the same teacher that you would have in college. So it's a different kind of teachers and guides come in at different times depending on what you need. And I always say to people, don't panic about trying to get in touch with your guides. This is another thing that's out there, you know, you need to know who your guides are. You don't really need to know who they are, but if you do know who they are, you can create a really nice relationship with them. So if you do want to, you know, connect with your guides, meditation is a great way to do it. Sitting in the silence, creating that space for yourself that's just you. So it might just be a walk in the park, you know, it might just be sitting outside in the sunshine, it could be sitting for meditation purposes any way that you do it, it's about creating that quiet space for you just connect with yourself first and foremost. But then to put the thought out there to your spirit team, please come forward, I would love to connect with you. And they will do it at the right time.

Yeah, you know, that's one of those things that I'm really interested— or it's interesting to me, because I guess if we were supposed to know who our guides were, and they were supposed to talk to us directly they would. So I think there's, there's that kind of goes back to free will. It kind of goes back to if you look at it like this is like a school or whatever. You don't want someone telling you all the answers to everything all the time, right? We're here to, we're here to figure some of this stuff out for ourselves. So the guides are there to, I think, kind of keep us not too far off the path, but they're also not here to do it all for us.

100%. And that's, I say to my students all the time, don't become obsessed with who your guides are, because if they are going to come in so that you know them, then they will do that in their own time, and you will realize that that connection is there. And through mediumship, obviously through my work and over the years, I know quite a few of my guides now, and I do have a lovely relationship with them. I can speak openly to them and feel them coming in and feel the different ones coming in and out, but that's taken a long, long time. Get to that point. And it's mainly for the purposes of helping my mediumship. It's not really for the purposes of helping me with my human life. You know, I have to figure those answers out just the same as everyone else.

Yeah, I think that's part of the point. That's why we're here, is to figure those things out. Karen, it's been really great getting to know you. Let people know how they can work with you and how they can reach you.

So anyone can reach me at karensychic.com. And at that website you can connect with me for personal consultations or for mentorship or courses. And I think there's a big interest out there for mentoring purposes, and my mentorships are one-to-one, it is me and the student. I don't take a lot of students on because I feel that anyone looking at building their psychic link or their mediumship, there's— I, I felt in the early days for me there weren't a lot of teachers that were doing the one-to-one. It was like generic courses as such. So that's why I do my mentorship. So you can connect with me for that at KarenPsychic.com, or for courses or for personal consultations.

Awesome. Karen, really great talking to you today. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Thank you so much for inviting me. It's been an absolute pleasure.

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