Her Mind-Blowing Encounter With Her Starseed Son EP 366

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you. Hi there, this is Brian. Welcome back to another episode of Grief 2 Growth. This is your sanctuary for understanding the complexities of life, the mysteries of our existence, and the pathways to finding healing and growth. Whether you're joining us for the first time or you're a regular listener, I'm your host, Brian D Smith. And today we have a truly inspiring journey to share with you. In this episode, we delve into the world of Tina Crystal. She's a remarkable individual whose last decade has been a transformative odyssey transcending pain, embracing love, and achieving a profound awakening. Her life story is a testament to resilience, a journey from the brink of despair to the heights of spiritual enlightenment. Through her personal challenges, including the unimaginable loss of a son— she's a fellow Shine a Light parent— she's uncovered the tools and the truths that have guided her through the darkness and into the light. Today, she's not just a survivor, she's a beacon of hope and wisdom. She shares her insights on heart-focused breathing, the power of the Akashic Records, and the pivotal understanding that we as spiritual beings possess untapped potential and purpose. Even in the most challenging times. Her journey is not just her own, but it's a shared narrative of loss, of discovery, and of transformation that I think speaks to each of us. We'll explore how experiences have led her to teach others about the profound connections between our hearts and our souls, and how this connection can guide us through grief to a place of peace and purpose. Her mission now extends beyond her personal growth. It's about empowering others through her work at healinghardest— healinghardest.com to uncover their own paths to healing and understanding. So if you're seeking comfort, if you're seeking understanding, or a new perspective on your journey, this episode is for you and promises insights and inspirations that could change the way the world— you view the world around you and within you. So with that, I want to welcome to Grief to Growth, Tina Crystal.

Thank you, Brian. Wonderful to be here.

Yeah, it's great to have you here, Tina. We just met through a mutual friend a few days ago, and you and I talked and I was like, we need to get you on. To talk about your, your journey, your spiritual journey, and where you are now. So begin by telling us about your son.

Yes, Chase. Uh, Chase is, um, was an extraordinary child. I called him star, a starseed, star child, uh, you know, from the very beginning, because he— his intelligence, uh, and his awareness, uh, was kind of otherworldly. He was just beyond the norm. But he was a very sensitive, very sensitive child and had so much, you know, passion around reading and, you know, history and understanding and always had questions about everything, you know, why? You know, kids normally do that, but he was like beyond, beyond that. He wanted to know the, you know, the reason behind everything. And so, you know, he was, he was a beautiful soul. And, you know, he suffered. I always felt that because he was, you know, such a spiritual being, even, you know, before I lost him, of course, that he really suffered in this world. The world was harsh for him. And it was, it was tough. And he had a lot of anxiety and You know, at some point he did, um, turn to drugs as a, uh, release, and I lost him at 23 years old.

Yeah, I'm so sorry for your, for your loss. And when we talked the other day, we talked about these children that are, that are coming in now, um, and you call them star— I think starseed or star child, and I've heard indigo children and, um, stuff like that. They seem to have this heightened sensitivity, heightened, uh, like they're here on a mission, um, very curious, very intellectual and stuff. But the world is so harsh that I think it's difficult for, for them.

It is, and it has been. And, and, you know, that this, you know, we're in the middle of this transformation now, uh, and, uh, of course I didn't, I didn't know, uh, that we were going to be heading into this, um, because I was a single parent, I was working all the time, I had 3 children, and I didn't know where we were heading. But my son Chase would tell me, Mom, you have no idea what we're heading for. It's a metamorphosis. It's a transformation of humanity. And if we don't do something and we don't make a difference, in the way we do things, you know, it's going to be bad for everybody. And I used to say, oh sweetheart, you know, quit reading all this negativity. And, you know, I was, I was just, you know, sad that he, that he was taking this all on his shoulders in some way, you know, because he was really obsessed over it, you know, like really humanity has to take, you know, a different road than we're doing. And you know, studied the Hopi Indians, and he was just really, you know, bright beyond his years. And so, but now that we're in this transformation of humanity, there is— it just brings a whole different understanding of where he was coming from. And in a way, it makes me feel much worse about that. I sort of dismissed him, you know, I dismissed his, his concerns. Um, I, I could have, I could have done that better. Uh, but I also know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing and that he was part of the reason I was supposed to wake up too. He had, he had a role and it was a big role, but it was short. It was a short stint, if you will. And he— but he did, he did it well. He did what he came to do. And he continued to speak to me about it even after he left.

Yeah, well, a short time here. I think we, we all come in for, for a period of time, which is all short in the eyes of spirit, I guess. But for us, for us, from a human perspective, we judge. Like, my daughter was 15 when she passed away. So we would say that's a That's a short time, but Chase is still doing work from where he is now.

Yes, he is. Yes, he is. And he— what he, what he does is, you know, right away he was speaking to me, came to me, um, in dreams, um, actually as a child, as a young child, um, so real that I woke up feeling confused, like he was just here, like literally just there. It was, it was It was bizarre at the time, but it only continued on, uh, from there. And I'd always been a spiritual person, so it didn't surprise me from the perspective that he was there. And he and I really connected on the spiritual side of things, even though I didn't— you know, I thought he was a bit of a conspiracy theorist, um, and, you know, now I realize he's a conspiracy realist is what he was, uh, but, but our connection spiritually was really strong. So So it didn't surprise me. But it was— what did surprise me is how real it was, how, you know, I didn't feel like it was a dream, even though it was a dream. Right?

Yeah.

So, and he continued to speak to me. I went to Chaco Canyon one time, and he literally— his energy hugged me. And I just, I just melted. It was, you know, I had— I guess you'd call it shivers, or, you know, I felt it clear into my soul, was there. And, you know, so I'd had those experiences. I had not had a lot of them, I would say under a dozen. But when they're there, they were significant.

So what you mentioned, conspiracy theorists, and you said conspiracy realist, what kind of things was he telling you at the time?

He was telling me that we had, uh, we were, we were under the spell of a, of kind of a dark, evil, um, uh, bunch of people. This, you know, is basically they were trying to snuff out our good because they were, they were afraid of us because we were so powerful, because we were God's children, you know, we were divine beings, and that we had a, that we had a Essentially, we had an energy on this planet that was holding us down and wanted to harm us. And at the time, I really didn't believe in, you know, the devil. And, you know, it was kind of more, you know, like, oh, everything's just fine, you know, you know, that's just how I was. And, and I just, it felt heavy and, you know, a little scary when he would talk about it.

So sure.

I'd say, you know, honey, don't go down those roads, you know, don't go down those roads. And I just kept trying to, you know, get him to stop, you know, because I felt like his energy was getting heavier the more he knew. And the more he— and he would give me information that, you know, it was kind of specific about what would come, that, you know, we would have these wars that were not real wars and that they were they were being manufactured, if you will. But, you know, he would tell me a lot of different things, and he got to a point where he stopped telling me things because, you know, he knew what the reaction would be. And that's the saddest part for me. So, but now, uh, since he left, you know, kind of in his honor, I started diving in a little bit deeper and kind of trying to understand, you know, what the world— and certainly I dove way deep into the spiritual side, you know, which is why I'm— what I'm doing now. Um, but in that, in that discovery, you find out that there's a lot more, you know. It's not just about the spiritual side. It does take in what we're actually experiencing in this life, lifetime. And then, and fairly soon after he left, um, you know, we started experiencing these strange anomalies, the, you know, the pandemic and that kind of stuff. So yeah, so ever since then, it's— I've realized, and I still tell him, I don't hear him as much now. I think it's maybe because I— because he knows I know. I don't, I don't know exactly, or, you know, he did his job. I think he's thinking, well, I did, I did my work. But, and there was even a time when I had that first realistic dream about him where, where I said, you know, how are you? And he said, Mom, I'm fantastic. I don't have any, uh, feelings like I need to have something else outside of me, you know, make me feel better, you know. And I think he was talking the addiction, um, but he said, I'm learning. I'm going to all these classes and I'm learning about, you know, real music. Music on the planet, you know, our planet wasn't real. That wasn't real. And I just said, well, what do you mean? He said, well, I'm just, I'm telling you that there's so much more to everything than what we experienced there. And you don't die, and you never die. And anyway, it was, there was, it was a profound experience for me at that point and changed my life. And I had a business at the time that I ran, and within a year, I mean, I started right away working on slowing down the business, selling it, or just getting out of it. And I did. Within a year, I kind of ran away from my life, and I just dove into my spiritual work and healing and natural healing, organic healing, and Now, I know you paint, and for people that are watching us on YouTube, they can see that the background behind you is one of your creations.

So how did the painting start?

Stay with us, we'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief, most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up, so you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper. Thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it. The community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing. Listening, learning, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth. I hope to see you there.

Well, that is, that is one of the most interesting and cool stories, if there is such a thing, about all of this is that 3 months before I lost Chase, I had this overwhelming feeling that I wanted to start painting, and I had zero artistic ability. I didn't know why I felt that way. I just felt like I really want to do it. So I did start. I started drawing first because I was afraid. I was actually afraid to take the paintbrush, put it in the paint, and put it on a white canvas because I just had no confidence in what I could do. But I started drawing, and as I started understanding contrast, Then I started feeling a little more confident. And my very first painting I ever did, I had this— I was in a partnership with a house that had this down in Mexico that had this big brick or cement wall around it. And I thought, I'm going to paint this huge, gigantic mural. You know, it was really tall. It was a really tall wall. And I did these two big lizards. Geckos, actually, on this big wall. I thought, "Well, that wasn't too bad. I think that was okay." Anyway, through the 3 months prior to that, I was painting a lot. Then when I lost Chase, I realized that this was a divine gift to me because it is how I processed my grief. I painted a painting every day for a year. Wow. And every single day. And I would stay up until I, you know, quote, finished it. I mean, I even look around now and I think, oh, those are not finished. Those definitely need help. But it was the most amazing experience for me to realize that I was given that gift because I'm not sure that I could have made it through. Yeah, you know, and somehow my soul or God, divine, whatever, Chase, all of those things knew that.

And yeah, I, you know, it's interesting because I think we talked about our children, you know, coming in with this, this plan and this knowledge, and we all have a plan. And we typically forget most of it, but there's some part of us that knows the plan. And I think we get just enough coming through to help us to make it through, right?

Right. Yeah, we do. And we— and that's kind of where the, you know, back when I was 19, 20, when my kids were little, 20, 21, I had children really early, my first two children really early.. And I would do automatic writing. And I, you know, I was always very interested in anything mysterious, like ancient, and, and, you know, and I would read anything that I could get my hands on, you know, back then. And I heard that, you know, if you just, you know, I'd read this book or something. And I would just sit down and I'd start writing. And pretty soon I had friends that would come over and say, you know, would you ask a question for me? And so, so this, this feeling of spiritual connection was early on with me. But at the same time, I then became a single mom. And, you know, for, you know, I had suddenly I had 3 children later in life. But for a while, you know, so I was, you know, I had 2 children and 3 children, and I was trying to make a living. So I had to put all of this on the shelf. So it's not like I was never spiritual before, but from the perspective of becoming, diving in deeper and having a more, I guess, going further with that spirituality. I kind of forgot what you asked me, though, so I think I'm rambling.

No, we were talking about how the painting started and Yeah, yeah. So yeah, you answered my question just fine. So when— after— so you, you were doing the painting before Chase transitioned, and what was the— you, you mentioned, uh, very vivid dreams, he was coming to your dreams and stuff. When did you start to think, okay, I need to really go deep? And you— so now I know you're into Akashic Records and HeartMath and, and other things.

Yes. Well, the first thing I did was, well, I wanted to escape because I didn't want to be here anymore. When that happened, I could not imagine I would ever be happy ever again. I couldn't find joy. I couldn't even find peace, honestly. And I was so overridden by guilt that I could have done things different and better and all these things. That I, I was— and I couldn't even go back into my business that I had, that I'd owned a business. And, um, so for the next year, I basically, you know, sort of, you know, babied my business through as best I could, but I didn't really want to be there. Um, and I, and I kind of left it, you know. I got it to a point where I could close it, and I moved to Arizona from Washington State, and I basically ran away from everything. So that started, you know, because I didn't know how to deal with the world anymore. I didn't know how because everything seemed so surface-oriented. It, you know, people didn't understand that life is so much different than we were pretending it to be. We thought it was about, you know, making a living and eating good food and going shopping or whatever, traveling, whatever it was. And I couldn't be there anymore. So I had to leave that, even though by that time I had a couple of grandchildren already. But I still couldn't handle that life as usual, if that makes sense. Yeah. So I moved to Arizona and I sold my house and you know, gave up my business and I had enough money where I could just dive into my own heart, you know, and go inside of myself. And in that, I found HeartMath, which is a company, that organization, nonprofit organization, teaches you basically how to be more resilient in life, right? And so I became certified. And even going through the training, I thought, because part of the resilience comes from being able to imagine and feel high vibration emotions, which is love and peace and joy and compassion, those kinds of feelings. And I could not even go there because I was in grief and anxiety. Even somewhat anger towards myself and depression and the low vibration. And so I learned, and I also read a lot of books, but I read an amazing book called Power Versus Force, and that helped me understand the difference between high vibrations and low vibrations. And so I was learning at a really fast pace that I could not sustain life well if I stayed in this state of grief, basically, and sadness. So when I became certified, that's when I worked through and found that— finally found that I could remember and could bring myself back into my heart and bring myself back into my joy. It wasn't joy right away. It was peace. It started with peace.

—right—

that I could be peaceful with not having my son anymore, and I could bring peace to that. So I started just reading every book I could find on— I was interested in organic healing and tuning forks, and somehow I was so focused that I thought healing had to do with color and sound and vibration. And I couldn't get off that feeling that that was the truth. And so I bought every book I could. To try to understand it. And then, you know, went back to my Akashic, or to my automatic writing, and then came across Akashic Records, which I'd never even heard of before. And it just stuck with me. You know, I was immediately able to connect, and it felt, it almost felt like home. I don't know how to explain it, but it felt right. And I felt like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. But I need to do it with the heart, because I want to help people with this heart-based living. And there was a point where I wanted to do something kind of like what you're doing. I wanted to help parents, but I didn't know how. I didn't know how to do that, who had lost their child, because I felt like I'd been through such a deep place and finding my way out. Felt like I needed to share that. Yeah. So now I do that with you. So yeah, you know, bringing that all into, into a beautiful place that I have not been able to do before now, other than with my work with the Akashic Records and HeartMath.

Yeah, well, I appreciate you sharing that. And I think it's really important. Remind us again, how long ago has it been since Chase passed?

It was 2014. So this year, August this year, it'll be 10 years.

Yeah, so you're, you're coming up on 10 years, I'm coming up on 9 years. And that feeling that you have when, as you said, I'm never going to feel joy again, I can't even feel peace, um, that feeling that there's just something wrong with the world and it will never be right, and you look around and you wonder why everybody else doesn't see everything that's wrong. So I, I, I, I I— your story gives people hope. And I want to say to people that are listening that are early, because I have a lot of parents who listen that are early on their journey, they might think, well, I can never get to where she is. But I want people to know that that's not where we start when our children cross over. We don't, we don't start there. We— it starts with just that spark of hope that maybe I can get there one day.

Yes, and it's just— I believe it's a soul journey. I also believe that, uh, that he— and he told me this on one of those occasions where he visited me— that he had, uh, that he was supposed to leave at an earlier age, and he told me it was supposed to be 14. Hmm. He knew that I couldn't handle that, that I could not— I was not ready for that. And he also told me that, um, that his, his journey here, his purpose, um, here was to help wake people up, uh, to the, uh, um, what was— to what was coming, and that we needed to get ourselves right. We needed to understand our power and our divinity. And, um, he also you know, basically in some of those messages, uh, said that he was, um, you know, able to put off leaving, uh, because he felt that he did all he could do, that he— his purpose was finished, and that he was in a peace, a complete peace, um, that, you know, he, he did what he needed to do when he came here, and that now it's up to me and for me to look inward and for me to, to see how his leaving will help me do the work forward that, that, that he was handing off to me. And, and he was handing it off to me because it was his catalyst, the catalyst of him leaving my life that pushed me into doing more with my life, if that makes sense. And sometimes we need that that really big, you know, in-your-face, you know, something that you can't— that just makes you fall to your knees.

Yes, yes. And I know that sometimes when people first hear the concept that we're talking about, and I've heard parents— because as a parent, when our child crosses, and it's almost universal, we feel some form of guilt. I I mean, I've talked to hundreds of thousands of parents who've lost children, and that guilt is almost universal. I should have done something different. I could have done something different. And then they hear this concept of soul planning, and then they go, oh, well, you're saying it's my fault that my, my child died early? They'll actually take it that way, like it's like, you know, they sacrificed for me. But it's a, it's a mutual thing. It's a, it's a, it's a soul plan, and it's based upon the fact that we know that our children didn't die. They, they, their lives weren't cut short. Their lives continue, and they continue to work with us from where they are. So for someone hearing this and going, well, then it's my fault that my, my, my daughter died at, you know, at 12 or whatever— no, it doesn't mean it's your fault. It's an agreement that we have. That's right.

It's exactly an agreement. And it, and it also goes further to an agreement not with just them but an agreement that we make with ourselves, with our soul. Our soul agreement before we came here is to experience many of the things that we're experiencing. I mean, certainly we have free will, and we can do anything. We can choose to go any direction that we want to once we're here. But we are here very specifically to have a first of all, an expansion of the soul to experience certain things that we can't experience without a body. And, you know, that's just, you know, that's just the first thing right there is, is a lot of souls, light beings, I call them, want to come here, and especially during this time, because it is a pivotal moment in, in humanity. And when we come here, you know, a lot of people, especially when I go through the Akashic Records with people, they've had terrible experiences. And, you know, and they say, why? You know, and they, and they feel like a victim. And the record keepers are very clear, you know, this is, this is something you choose, chose, whether you chose it before you came here or whether you chose the path after you came here with your free will. This is what you chose to experience, and you're still here. So it, it does make you stronger. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And there is a moment, uh, where we have to realize that we are completely in charge of everything that we do. We are, you know, we are the ones. Yes, things happen, and yes, you could get hit by a car tomorrow, but you also were placed there in that spot, um, at that moment. So taking that responsibility for myself, uh, was a huge step in me allowing myself to, to be free of, of the pain of feeling like, um, you know, I was a victim. Yeah, in some way.

Yeah, I think that's a very important concept, and, and it's a very jarring concept when people first hear it, you know, that we are, we are responsible for our situations. Because again, people will take that to say, well, you're saying I'm to blame. And it's not that at all. It's that we, we do come to have these experiences. And we think while we're here, it's like, well, why would I want to have this experience? Why would I want to go through, you know, this, but then we see from people like yourself who you've grown from this experience and you're doing things you wouldn't be doing if it weren't for Chase, Chase's passing.

That's exactly right. I don't believe that I would be— I, I think that at some point I probably would have, you know, realized that I was on a path of, of, um, I don't know, materialism might be the best word to, to put it, you know. I mean, I was, you know, in, in a business and enjoyed making money and, you know, and I was kind of putting my, you know, I had a nice house and I was putting my life more in the here and now and the third dimensional space rather than I came here to do. So I think eventually I would have sort of seen it, but I maybe not have done anything about it. But the catalyst of him leaving made me do something about it right then. I literally— I really couldn't go forward because I saw everything clearly. I even— I had a boyfriend at the time that I thought I was madly in love with, and all of a sudden I could see that he was not the person for me. And it was just— it was almost like within a week of all of this happening, I could see everything clearly. And I, I knew everything I was doing— the house, I had to sell my house, I had Everything I was doing was not in congruence with my soul. I was not in balance with my soul. And until I made changes, which I couldn't make them fast enough because I had a lot of anchors holding me, I couldn't make them fast enough. But until I knew, until I'd made all those changes, there was no way I was going to be able to managing that world anymore. I had to do what I did and I spent all my money living a life of reading and absorbing, which didn't do me any favors now that I'm retired. But would I change it? Absolutely would not change it. I wouldn't change it. Is saying something.

Yeah, absolutely. And that is saying a lot, you know, um, because again, it's— it takes a while to get to that point, I think. Um, oh yeah, because for you, for you to be able to say, I recognize the, the gift and what's happened, even, even something as tragic as, as losing a child at a very young age, that there's something about that, that that set me on this journey. And again, that even that word loss, you know, Chase is still with you. And we talked about it before we start recording. I mean, Chase is— for people, again, people that are watching on YouTube, Chase is actually behind Tina in the picture. Um, and, and tell how that came about.

Yes, so this is one of the first paintings that I, that, that I had. Um, and I, as I was painting this, I think— let's see, one way or another, it's It's a— anyway, it was a tunnel behind me. I think you can sort of see it there. Yeah, we can see that. Yeah. Yeah. And a doorway to, you know, it— and I kept painting these kinds of things, doorways, portals, openings, you know, because it just— that's what was coming to me. And as I was painting this painting, I started realizing that, let's see, over on this side, there was sort of a face that was emerging just by moving the brush around and doing whatever. There was a face emerging and I'd just kind of stand back and I'd look at it and I'm like, well, isn't that interesting? And as it, you know, as I kind of ignored it for a while, I didn't want to fix it because I could see that there was a face there. Now, it wasn't quite as clear as this face. Because after I, when I was coming to the point where I was finishing it, there was another one, which is on this side, up that way, that looked like, you know, some, anyway, these things just appeared in me just painting. And I, and so then when I realized that this one over here, Here, was looking like my son. I did go in and made his eye green, which is what it was. But his hair was really sandy curly, that was already there. His nose was there and his mouth was there. I didn't do anything else to it, but I did make his eye a little more obvious. On purpose. But otherwise, it just sort of appeared. And this is another one of those things, because he was my biggest fan. When I was— the 3 months before his passing, his transformation, I'm just going to say, he said, "Mom, you really have something here. I think you could be good." And I'd say, oh no, you know, oh, you know, I'm just playing. This is, you know, I'm just, I'm just kind of learning. He's, no, no, no, this, no, this is, you need to pay attention to this. He was like the only one that was really encouraging me, whereas, you know, some of my other, you know, family members would just sort of look at stuff and they'd laugh. Oh, that was funny. Um, you know, uh, because I was trying. But no, he, he was my biggest fan and And so I felt like this was his moment. He came in and he said, and I see this, let's see, this painting, that one, as it's not going to be a fun journey. This is not going to be fun. There's the scary things that are going to come, but you're going to get through it because look at those other doors behind you. I saw this When I finished this, I thought it was my most profound painting because of those things I just said. You know, there's that door at the end that leads to this beautiful, mysterious, possibly wonderful place. But you've got to go through some stuff first, which is what I think's going on with humanity. And, you know, I was going through that on a microcosmic scale, and I think humanity is going through this, you know, on a, on a, you know, large scale.

Yeah, I think the, the journey of the soul that we have as individuals is echoed in the collective. So as we, as we go through, you know, the journey isn't easy. We go through hardships as, as individuals. Humanity goes through hardships, but ultimately, hopefully, we, we rise, uh, rise to the occasion. I know that's something that, you know, you and I both are working our best to try to make happen.

Absolutely, absolutely. And what's so interesting is that I had so— I knew, I knew so much, even though— even when I was painting all these paintings that first year after I lost Chase. Um, and after that year, by the way, I, I kind of lost the, the desire to paint. I'd try to paint a couple of times and I just didn't— it didn't wasn't there for me, really. So I really knew that this was a gift for me to process this grief and all the feelings that I had. And I couldn't— I gave away a few paintings. I've had people ask me if they could buy paintings. I wouldn't sell them. There was something that just said no. Not only will I not sell them because money feels different to me now. It doesn't feel— I know it's important because it's, you know, that's what we run on. But it doesn't have a meaning for me at all. And I didn't feel like I wanted to put the paintings where they meant money, you know, where they symbolically meant money. So I wouldn't sell them. But I have a friend, actually, it's the mutual friend that you and I met through, that said, you know, you're never going to get rid of those paintings. And it's true. I have them everywhere because it reminds me of a time that was so transformative for me and such an important time for me to learn who I was that I don't know that I could, you know, like I said, maybe 5 paintings I've given away when people, when I felt the feeling that they would really appreciate them, you know, for some reason, uh, than I would. But, uh, it's interesting because I have them everywhere in my house, and it's not because I'm proud of, you know, I'm so artistic, because that's not the case. It's because it reminds me every day to look into my soul, right? To think about what it is that got me here and what I lost. That got me here, but what I gained as well. And so, you know, for whatever reason, it's— they mean a lot to me.

Oh, sure they do. I'm sure they do. So tell me about the work that you're doing now. So it's for people that don't know, first, let's start with— let's start with HeartMath. So what is it you're doing with HeartMath?

Well, I've just integrated it. And now I— so HeartMath, as a certified HeartMath, uh, um, uh, guide, uh, if you will. You know, we teach people how to become more resilient, and, um, it's, it's basically, uh, it's putting together breath and, um, breathing into the heart space, and it's, uh, also at the same time feeling and visualizing a high vibrational— there's a lot more to it than this. This is the simplified form, but a high vibrational emotion, because then that helps our autonomic nervous system all feel that everything is okay, everything's good, right? Because we have a tendency to breathe shallow. We're all just inherently stressed out, kind of by design. If we really go deep into it. But everybody's inherently stressed out and trying to make it in this world whatever way they can. So we breathe shallow. Our body's always in stress mode. So this is just a quick— it's not like you have to sit down and go into meditation, which I've done too. It's harder for me to meditate because I'm a mover. It's hard for me to sit for that long. Even doing the Akashic Records, I have to sit for quite a long time. But anyway, this I found that in 3 to 5 minutes you can sort of re-energize, charge your batteries, if you will, within a 3 to 5 minute time frame. And when you learn to do this and do it a few times, you can do this with your eyes open, which means you can do this when you're driving. It's basically You know, breathing in 5 seconds in to your heart space, 5 seconds out. And, and then, you know, and there's a couple of steps after that, which is, you know, bringing in this vision, uh, this idea, this feeling, uh, of a good positive, um, time in your life or something that makes you happy. You know, being on a hammock on the beach or whatever makes you feel a high frequency emotion. And then the breath. And I've sort of changed it. So I'm not officially a HeartMath representative at this point because I choose to teach this for free. I choose to incorporate it into the Akashic Records teachings or sessions that I do because I think everyone needs to know how to do this because We're helping relax our bodies. We're helping go find, find our peaceful place in our soul, which I believe helps us allow the messages coming in from our, from our ancestors, from our lost, those we've lost, from our guides, our angels, uh, and more. Um, because you have to find that peaceful place in order to do it, and you can literally find wisdom in that 3 minutes when you're about to go into a meeting or you're about to make a big decision or whatever it is, um, or, or just get, you know, you're about to do something that's going to feel stressful. You can go into this place, and it is literally one of the few things that helped me, you know, pull myself out of this feeling of, um, that I was never going to get out of this low feeling. And it helped me tremendously. But now it helps me as long as I remember to do this. But it brings a sense of balance into your life and resilience so you can bounce back quickly when things do happen. You find this place and you find it in your heart and you trust and you believe that you're strong. That's part of it for me, right? I have to trust and believe that I am not weak and that I am not a, you know, rag doll and I can't be, you know, pushed around and I'm not a victim. So for me, that's, that's my choice of how I bring this HeartMath, uh, I call it the heart-focused breathing. And once a month I do a, um, a free session where we, you know, we do it together. Anybody that wants to join, I'm on Zoom and And I do it, and then I have a PDF that tells you how to do it that people can download. So I want everybody to know this.

And people can find that at your website? Yes. Okay. All right. And then tell me about the Akashic Records. Now, I think a lot of us have heard of the Akashic Records, but there's a lot of confusion as to what they are and how they benefit us. So tell me about that.

Well, the Akashic Records is Actually, it's referenced many times in the Bible. Uh, uh, uh, Edward— Edgar Cayce, uh, Edgar Cayce, yeah, um, that's where he went when he did all of his, uh, sessions for healing, and he was in the Akashic Records. That's well known. Um, the Akashic Records, uh, from my perspective, there's, there's different— you can get— I have several books, and, and they don't all agree on what it is, but I believe that it is a realm that is a library of all souls on, you know, in, in the universe, uh, and all lives that those souls have experienced. And even to the point where, you know, city, a city or a you know, you can go along beyond souls, uh, but, you know, I, I focus on the souls, um, where you can see all the major, um, events of, of any life. But it's— and it's guarded, you know, it's a library, but it's guarded. So I could not go in and see someone's Akashic Records unless I have been given permission, and that's part of the process of the Akashic Records. You have to have permission. You can't abuse it. That's what I loved about it. You know, it's not like a psychic that can go in and say, oh well, you know, I, I didn't really like that part. So this, this felt like, you know, because we're going through the gatekeepers, through the library of souls, and we're asking permission for whatever that person needs to hear at that moment, which means no two sessions are ever alike. Uh, no two moments. I mean, no two moments. You know, I, I've had experience where, you know, they were saying one thing in the beginning of a session, and then by the end they kind of were saying that the person already worked through it, you know. So it's It's live in that moment. So to me, it was when I could— because I started doing the automatic writing again, and then I morphed into the Akashic Records because I needed to know more, and I didn't know how to get more information, and I wasn't getting it through my meditations. I wanted information about everything. I want to know about everything. And so it helped me to understand more about Chase, uh, and our relationship and how we made those contract, uh, agreements, you know, in the beginning. And, uh, it helped me on many, many levels. I did— I don't, I don't ask about myself very much. In the beginning I did, but now I, I really don't because I don't really know why. I don't really know why I don't, but I just, I really don't ask anymore. I think it's, uh, I'm just more interested in helping other people, I guess. I don't know.

So what types of things can, can an Akashic Records session help with? What kind of things can help us resolve?

Uh, it can be anything from— well, so this, this weekend I have, uh, I have a session with a lady that wants to clear some energy, which, you know, I call DNA memory, about why she's afraid of heights and afraid of water. So that's one example. It could be that some people just want to, to have validation that they're hearing the messages that they think they're hearing. They want validation for that. It could be to release some emotional trauma about something that they don't know what it is. They feel like it's maybe a block. And sometimes it's never a block from outside. It's always a block from inside. We're the ones blocking it. So sometimes it's like, You can't see through the trees, right? Because you're the one, you know, you're, you're one of the trees. So it kind of helps you have a little insight into what it is that you don't want to look at. If somebody's making a big decision in their life, it helps to kind of walk through some of the obstacles that the Akashic Records might say,, they don't need to worry about or they should worry about. Um, you know, it could be anything in life. What it, what it isn't about is, is 3D existence. It's really more of a soul, uh, a soul reading, if you will, um, because it has to do with, with you and your relationship to those people around you, to life, and to in this world. And it'll only tell you what you're ready to hear. So sometimes they say, you know, we can't answer that question, but that's pretty rare that that happens. But it has happened. They will only tell you what you're ready to hear.

So, will it— so in terms of, um, we talked about the ascension or what's going on right now with, with people, with humanity. Does it give us any revelations in the, in the what's happening and what we can look forward to?

Uh, yes, uh, actually really, really great, uh, information. I mean, I, uh, I've heard— I don't always remember, in fact, I rarely remember. I shouldn't— I should say that I rarely remember specifics, but I, I do remember trends. And, um, trends, the trends are that we are moving into this fifth dimensional energy. And they do talk about it in those terms, you know, we're moving out of the third dimension, we're moving through the fourth, and the fourth dimension is going to be very volatile, very uncomfortable, very much, uh, a— for some, a, um, you know, a near-death experience kind of thing, you know, where, you know, it's, it's going to be a very bumpy ride through the fourth dimension. And that, and that's true for our own, in our own, because we are moving from the third dimension, we as a soul, each and every soul, moving from a third dimension through the fourth into the fifth. So we're, you know, as we talked about before, from a microcosm, we're going through the same thing. And then we are, as you said, all going through it at the same time. When we get to the 5th dimension— and not everyone will make it there because you do have to be able to feel and see the higher vibrational, uh, um, uh, energy, you know, you have to be able to live in that higher vibration, which is, you know, not fear, not anxiety, not anger, you know, those lower vibrations cannot survive. They, they, they, they love the fourth, the third and the fourth dimension, but they cannot survive the fifth. So it's a matter of us working through and becoming these higher level, experiencing this higher level vibration, which is love, compassion, peace, joy. You know, where we're helping each other. They've shown us my different clients, where the client is doing something completely different than they were doing. But everything they're doing now is what led them to do this work. Because we're going to be doing things for each other, with each other. It's going to be beautiful. I have seen the pictures because I see in my Akashic Records, I mostly see pictures, but I also get words. You know, you know, the words come through. But sometimes I just get pictures. And so I try to explain— oh, sorry, just had a huge weird rainstorm come in. I wonder if that's a sign of something. Anyway, anyway, there is— so, so we're moving into this fifth dimension together. But again, not everybody can get there, because you have to be able to move yourself out of this lower realm anxiety and up into this beautiful place where you can hold the higher vibrational energies for longer periods of time. So it's going to be beautiful. We are going to go through some bumps.

It's going to be a little uncomfortable. Yeah. Well, I think we can all see the discomfort now. And, you know, and I keep hearing this, and then people will say, well, doesn't look like we're getting any better. We still have, you know, all these things that are going on. But I think that's the, that's the bumpiness you're talking about. And that's kind of the separation, because there's some people that want to hold on to where we are. And then there's other people pulling the other way. So there's this tension that's happening.

That's right. And we're all going to come together. That's— I've seen that clearly. We're all going to come together. Now, there's going to be some that, that simply can't make it, and they will choose to leave this realm. They, they just will. They'll choose, you know, either they'll choose or it'll be chosen for them, uh, to leave this realm, uh, and— but generally speaking, we are moving into this beautiful place that is, uh, and it— but it is going to get a little worse before it gets better. You know, this— it's going to be a little more chaos. And, um, but we have to trust and have faith that's where we're heading, because that's what we get out of all of this, is, is when we are focused on the divine connection, you know, and that this is all part of why we're here. There's not anyone here at this moment that wasn't supposed to have a part in all of this. I mean, you specifically, you know, very much so, right? You know, in what you're doing, there is— and you would not be doing this without having lost your beautiful daughter. I think it's— that's the gift.

I love what you said there. I think it's really important because we can feel like we get so beat down by life, like this is a punishment, or at best, this is random. And, you know, but we have to understand this is a special time and we all are here for a special reason. That changes your mindset about everything. It does.

It really, really does. Because that, that's why some people think, how could she possibly see that losing her son was, was a gift? Well, it wasn't about losing my son. The gift was that this was the plan and that this was— and he's— I didn't lose him, right? He's not physically standing with me here, but he has been doing everything that he can to help humanity from where he is. And I believe that he thought he could do better there than here. He did the best he could do from here, and then it was time to go. I believe that he was a higher— many of our children our starseed children were from higher realms, right? Higher dimension. And they came here, came down dimensions in order to be here, which is why it was so difficult for them to manage well, because they just came from these beautiful places, right? And now they're stuck in this place. Yeah. Cool, right? Um, and, and so, you know, they, they came, they could only handle it for so long. They did the best they could. And, and that if you see it in that way, and sure, it, it is a choice, you know. I, to me, it's the truth. It is the truth. So I didn't just decide, oh, I'm going to believe that story. That's not, that's not what happened to me, uh, because I like facts and Even though I was always spiritual, I have faith to a point, but I have to have something that gives me the feeling that faith is not just Pollyanna-ish.

Right. Right.

It's taken me some time to get there. And now I am certain that all of this is a divine plan. We are in the middle of a divine and we have to go through some bumps, but we have to more so believe that where we're going is worth it all. It's so worth it all that it's going to be this place where we all care and serve one another, where we truly love. And right now, I don't feel like— I have an 87-year-old mother that I care for. She is getting scammed left and right, people trying to scam her, right? Computer and mail and you name it, trying to— it's that kind of energy that is no longer going to be here. That energy is going to go away. And I'm excited for that time. Anyway, that's how I feel.

That's great. I, I, I love that. And, um, yes, there is, there is. I can— we can feel the tension that's going on now, and we can feel people that are saying we're ready to move forward, and we can feel people saying, no, actually, we like to go back. We don't— not only do we not want to go forward, let's go, let's go back. So yeah, there's a, there's a lot of that going on. But Tina, tell people, um, so we talked about your, your HeartMath and how people can get more information on your website. So tell people, make sure everybody knows what your website is and what it is that you offer.

Okay, well, it mostly, you know, my— what I offer, you know, is my Akashic Records. And I believe that we're going to have a link here for, for them with a little discount. But Akashic Records is, is what I do. You know, besides my just reading my books and doing my spiritual work, I do Akashic records. But what I'm passionate, really passionate about as well is getting the information out for heart-focused breathing to help people handle especially what's coming, right? For us to stay balanced and resilient throughout this because it is a soul journey. So not one little exercise or practice is going to change everything. But it is really going to help, especially while you're trying to get through your soul journey, um, to that other side. So heart-focused breathing is, is a pretty simple, um, practice, uh, that you can do 2 or 3, 4 times a day, 3, 3 to 5 minutes. I am very passionate about everyone knowing how to do this, especially children, uh, at school. Um, it's so simple, uh, but they need they need something to help them, uh, our little ones. So I really like them. And there's some books and things like that that they can— you can get for your children. Um, but anyway, uh, I, I give— I have a PDF which I think is also going to be on this link, uh, with you, but it's on my website which is healingartist.com. And, and so there— and, and then it— once the second Wednesday of every month I do a free session on Zoom where you can sign up for free and you just come on and for half an hour we work on the heart-focused breathing practice and kind of go through some questions. Because I will say, I was still in heavy grief when I started this, going down the HeartMath road. I could not find joy. I could not find any of those things. And so I, I, I talk a little more about that, especially, um, you know, if I, if I'm doing an Akashic Records session with someone I know that lost someone, uh, you know, a parent, you know, husband, wife, child, I go a little deeper in how to find, you know, to try to find that joy, that, you know, and pretty much you just have to start with peace. Because you can't find joy and you can't find, you know, happiness and all of that. But if you can find peace, you're there. You're— you've got a foundation anyway.

Yeah, I love the way you put that. I think that's great. Well, Tina, thanks again for being here today and for sharing, uh, sharing Chase with us and your journey and, uh, what you have to offer to the world. Thank you so much.

I appreciate it, and it was wonderful speaking with you.

Yeah, have a good afternoon. Thank you. Take care. Hi there, I'm really excited to tell you about my latest ebook. It's 4 Lessons That You Can Learn From the Near-Death Experience Without Going Through All the Trouble of Dying to Learn Them. I've been studying NDEs for several years now. I am completely convinced that not only are they 100% real, but that there's some very universal wisdom that we can get from the near-death experience. And I've distilled that down in this book into 4 short lessons. And I've also given you all the reasons why I believe that NDEs are absolutely real. So go to www.grieftogrowth.com/NDElessons to pick it up for free. www.grieftogrowth.com/NDElessons. I hope you enjoy it.