Intuitive Signs Before Death: How Your Soul Prepares You for Loss- with Tami Pitetti Sanders | EP 475

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you. Close your eyes and imagine. What are the things in life that cause us the greatest pain? The things that bring us grief are challenges, challenges designed to help us grow, to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we've been buried. But what if, like a seed, we've been planted? And having been planted, we grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes. Open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is Grief to Growth. And I am your host, Brian D Smith. Hi there, I'm Brian D Smith, host of Grief to Growth. Whether it's your first time tuning in, you've been with us for a while, I want to welcome you. This podcast is a space where we explore life's deepest questions: who we are, why we're here, and where do we go when this life ends? And how do we make it through the toughest moments with grace and with purpose? In today's episode, I'm joined by Tammy Pateti Sanders, an intuitive guide whose journey through grief led to a profound spiritual awakening. About a year before any personal losses occurred, Tammy began exploring spiritual work like Reiki, guided by an inner knowing that something was coming. When her family dog passed away unexpectedly, followed just months later by her death of her father, that intuitive nudge suddenly made sense. In the fog of heartbreak, Tammy began to experience something that defied logic— comforting signs, powerful synchronicities, and a sense that the universe had been preparing her all along. These weren't just comforting coincidences. They were doorways to healing and transformation. Now Tammy dedicates her work to helping others move through grief by recognizing the signs that our loved ones never really leave us. Through her unique reading style and her intuitive gifts, she helps people reconnect with themselves, their purpose, and with those who have lost. So today we're going to explore how intuition can whisper to us before major life changes, what grieving people truly need beyond just platitudes, how to ask for, notice, and trust the signs from the other side, and why grief often shifts, shifts not just our hearts, but our entire circle of relationships. By the end of this conversation, I think you'll come away with a renewed sense of hope, deeper trust in your own intuition, and some practical ways to connect with loved ones in spirit. As always, after the episode, I invite you to continue the conversation on my Substack at grieftogrowth.substack.com. There you'll find a companion article to this episode and a space where you can share your thoughts and connect with me and other listeners. And with that, I want to welcome Tammy Patetti Sanders.

Hi, thank you for having me.

Hi, Tammy. Thanks for being here. Thanks for being so patient. For everybody that's listening, I was telling Tammy, sometimes when I have intuitives on, everything goes crazy. This is about the 5th time we've tried to record this. I've rebooted my computer, I've restarted Zoom, I've updated Zoom, so hopefully we can make it through this time.

Okay, let's hope so.

So Tammy, it's, it's weird, you know, we talked earlier before everybody could hear that we, you know, Spirit sometimes seems to just kind of step in and start sending us signs even if we don't want them.

Yes, they do. They're just letting us know, they're just saying hi. Yeah.

So I know you started to have some intuitive things before some things, major things happened to your life. So tell me about that. Yes.

I, um, like unknowingly little things, I just, I call them nudges were happening. Like we go to the Jersey Shore every summer and we do family photos and I decided to schedule them on an off year. And nobody questioned it in my family. And it even rained— was raining as we were on the beach getting them. I'm like, we're doing them. And, you know, a week later my father was in the hospital and never came home. So we thank God every day that we had those photos and those memories. So things like that were happening. So I just call them like unknowing knowings that occurred. And I listened for once to these. And at the same time, I work in physical therapy. I was receiving Reiki for an injury, and I had it before, but this time around, I was seeing things, visions, feeling things I never felt before. And then I decided to take Reiki 1. And I asked the intuitive, she was very intuitive, the Reiki person. And I just said, I have this feeling something's gonna happen specifically to my father. Now, this was during COVID so, you know, he wasn't as active and, you know, but his health was okay. And she said his soul is preparing for that time. And I almost fell off the chair. I'm like, no, I wasn't expecting her to agree with that.

Right.

But then a week later, our 7-year-old little dog died. So I thought she was reading that energy in me, like, incorrectly. Mm-hmm. But was always aware, always had my radar up with my dad. And we were down the shore and he seemed okay. I mean, he was 80, almost 81, I believe, at the time, and definitely didn't think he was dying. And, um, and been in the medical field for 30 years as, and so did my, my husband is as well. We pick up on a lot of things. And I just was so sad after losing the dog that I almost felt silly because, you know, look at you losing a child. Like, to me, that's unimaginable. But I've learned grief is grief.

Yeah.

And if it hurts you, you know, then, you know, other people like just don't get it until something you love so, so much is just taken away. Right. And it just changes your daily life. Like, I was an empty nester at the time, so having my little dog, you know, like, she just followed me everywhere. And a good friend of mine had sent me a poem, and it just made so much sense. And it was like, just takes that one person to reach out to you and just make you feel like you're human. And with my father, I mean, he— I was Daddy's little girl, just never just thought about him not being in my life.

Yeah.

And it, you know, it was tough. And I started— thankfully, I was meditating already for about a year, starting to enhance my intuitive abilities. And I received a reading from somebody when we were at the beach, and she said, if you ever get a feeling like something's not right, just drive right to your parents' house. And pretty much that's what happened. My son sent me a photo of him and my dad. They were out for lunch before he was going back to college.

Hmm.

And I did not like how my dad looked, and I just got in the car. And got there and he was having like tremors. Like, I think he was going into sepsis and the Italian stubborn man, you know, but as soon as we said, Dad, you're going to the hospital, he said, okay. And that's how I knew that his soul was preparing. In the hospital, I mean, he was never on oxygen. He needed 55 liters of oxygen. To, to stay alive. Mm-hmm. Found out he had pulmonary fibrosis. We did not know. Again, I call that a God wink because we probably wouldn't have done half the things we did as a family. And, you know, it was the hardest 2 weeks of my life, but we were able to all be there and say goodbye. And it was the most beautiful— I've seen a lot of people die in my field, And, you know, I had grandparents die, and, but this was just, if you had to pick a way to die, it was just beautiful. And he, him and my mom have been together since they were 12. And we thought he was gone. And then like 5 seconds later, he opened his eyes and leaned over to kiss my mom. And that was just a testament to their marriage and the love. And so that was not an intuitive thing I wanted to have. So I dealt with a lot of emotions after that. Like, did I create that? Did I make that happen? Did I manifest that? Like, all these, because I didn't know. I was so new at everything. And I learned that that's how your intuitive abilities begin is sometimes is with sensing the bad things that are gonna happen. Mm-hmm. So, you know, so then I just went in, in deep. I saw my father's apparition in my house the day after he died, and that started my journey. Of being obsessed with the afterlife and communication and all of that.

Yeah. So do you think that the Reiki opened up your abilities, or what are your thoughts on that?

I think yes, because I received an attunement as well, and I was probably blocked. So that opens you up. Because I got really sick after the attunement and almost flu-like, like I coughed for like 10 minutes straight. And she said, that's very common. I must have been really blocked. And I think between that, the meditation, learning how to ground myself, really tune in, I walk in nature almost daily. And just, you know, I was always aware, but I became really aware, like noticing leaves falling on the trees, like everything. I hated birds before. Now it's like I know every bird out there now and just paying attention to if I saw something more than once, like, what does that mean? And I just wanted to find the meaning in my father's death. Like, I almost felt like there was a calling for me to do what I'm doing right now because I was so lost. Like, nobody could help me. And I'm the helper, I'm the fixer, I'm the nurturer. And then all of a sudden I needed it and I didn't know how to ask for, for help., you know, and I was just lost. And again, this was during COVID so there was nothing like available around me. And I am Catholic, but I'm not active in my church. And even that was online. And I'm just, I need to be in person to benefit from something. I don't know. I'm just old school like that.

Yeah.

Um, so I just read probably 100 books, listened, started listening to podcasts, started looking for mentors. And, um, and I just, I felt my dad. I started to hear him. I started to get all these crazy signs and like, there's something to this.

Yeah.

And it's just been a journey.

You mentioned seeing his apparition. What was that like? Tell me about that.

It was crazy. I mean, I, I thought I was hallucinating really. And it was just this bright light, really just like his face. And it was like 3 seconds and it was gone. And I didn't tell anybody cuz I wasn't even sure what just happened. And a couple months after he passed, I went to a medium for the first time. Still didn't say anything. Mm-hmm. But she said, your dad wants you to know that that was him. And said exactly where I was sitting. And that was like, it just made me, it was the first thing that made me feel better. You know, like the layers of grief were starting to come away because it just gave me validation. And then like just the signs that would happen, but they would always happen when I was by myself. So I just think people thought I was crazy. They're like, okay, whatever you say, Tammy. You know, like the basic things, like the red cardinal, you know. But, you know, I was aware before, like I said, but like a red cardinal would come right where we buried our dog out back. Constantly, whenever I needed to say it. So then I started asking for like, more, you know, unique signs.

Yeah.

And then I realized like, you can't ask and it's gonna come like that. Like you have to be aware. I could see something on social media, on a license plate. You gotta look all around. They're there. They're always there. And you know, the, our TV would go on in the middle of the night. Our smoke alarm would go off. They, your phone would just start playing a song.

Mm-hmm.

Those types of things. And then they started happening when I was with other people, cuz I think my dad really wanted to guide me through this journey. And he didn't really believe in psychics and mediums when he was alive. Mm-hmm. But he does now. He said, this was your journey. This is what you're supposed to be doing to help other people grieving. Because like I said, the medium was the only person that made me feel better.

Yeah. You mentioned earlier with the intuition, you felt maybe a sense of guilt or maybe you had caused it. And I think that's very common with people. Or sometimes people think, well, I was supposed to prevent this. What are your thoughts on that now? Why do we receive these intuitions? Stay with us.

We'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief, most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up, so you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper, thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it: the community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing— listening, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth. I hope to see you there.

I think, you know, in a way I'm grateful because it was trying to prepare me, um, for this devastating loss. But I, I, I also am a medical intuitive. Like, I, I, I think I always was, but like, I took the official course. You know, I've always worked in healthcare, so I could intuitively feel something or see something on someone's body unknowingly. Again, like, I would never call myself that 5 years ago, but I always was, whether it was a muscle thing or an organ thing. And I think until I dove deep, I didn't really know. I just ignored it all. And it's frustrating. I get mad, but I think it's just how it was supposed to happen. Like, all these things that happened led me to where I am today. So I can't have a regret. But, you know, I— the same thing happened with my mother-in-law. 15 months before she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, I just wrote in my journal her name, stage 4 colon cancer. And again, same type of thing. What do I do with this? How do I know if I'm right? I don't want to be right about this. And just gave her little nudges and let, and it's exactly what happened. And she was diagnosed and she, she lasted for 4 months. Again, I went through that guilt again. And every mentor I went to, they said, you cannot feel like that. They were trying to let you know to either just prepare yourself because I'm an empath. I guess they were preparing me so I wouldn't break down and for me to have the strength to be there for my husband and his family. And that's how I have to look at it now. Like, not that we want those people to die. I want them physically to be here forever. But then after that was when I started to get, you know, hearing the communication and understanding, like, I think I was waiting to hear a different sounding voice in my head, but it's really my own thoughts.

Okay.

Or my own voice. Mm-hmm. Because some instructors would tell me, oh, you'll know when it's spirit because it sounds like them. So I'm waiting to hear my dad's voice in my ear and I'm not, you know. And then I, then I, once I just, all right, let go, see what happens and start to do readings and they were accurate. So it's really your own, it's your, my, for me, it's my own voice.

Right.

And just really paying attention to feelings in your body and, and just, you know, tuning in and it's hard to do. It's really hard to do. And to ground yourself every day because I was absorbing energy, like going to the grocery store. I'd come home like insane or in a bad mood or sad, and I didn't know why. And I, now I know I have to ground myself. People just like to attach to me, you know? And I probably, I had, apparently I have a lot of spirits here in the house. I did not know. I guess I would have known if they were bad spirits, you know. But like when the electricity things were happening, that was even before my dad passed. So it's all these little nudges that were happening. It's very interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you said that, uh, you decided to become a medium because the medium was the one thing that helped you. So this is something you wanted to pass forward, I guess. How did you go through that process of of actually becoming a medium?

I think just, well, taking— I had to retake Reiki 1 because I forgot everything. And then I took Reiki 2, which really helps you just to tune into other people's body and how to read energy. And like I said, just reading a ton of books. And then I would take a lot of courses online. For mediumship, intuition, and I still would doubt myself, you know, and then using like a pendulum or cards, anything I could get my hands on, I wanted to learn, you know, listening to podcasts. And it was a healer that said to me, she did a healing on me and said, stop taking the courses, just start doing a reading. Hmm. What? So I was in this Zoom call for, for probably another course I was trying to take literally the next day. And there was a woman on there and she just looked so sad. And all she said is she lost her brother to suicide. And I got up, got off that call, and I just sat and wrote down things. About her brother. Did not see a photo, did not see anything. And I reached out to her after and I said, I hope you don't mind, but I felt such a connection to you. And I just see this blonde-haired kid with a red hat backwards and an orange vest. And she said, oh my God, he is red. And she sent me a picture. And he has his red hat backwards, which he wore all the time. And unfortunately, when he passed, he, he, um, committed suicide wearing his orange vest with his hunting rifle. Why I saw that, you know, by this certain tree, which is, you know, now like where they, you know, planted all these flowers and stuff in remembrance of him, but that's what I saw. So again, not nothing you want to be right about, but it just gave her validation and then some other things that helped her heal from that. Um, but one thing that started all of this is shortly after my dad died, I started to see images in photos that I took. On my cell phone and like his face, my dog's face, people's faces I did not know. I could like look at a tree or a rock and see images that other people weren't seeing. Hmm. So again, I thought I'm crazy cuz I'd say to people, don't you see that? Like, you know, there's our dog or there's my dad. And some people would, some people wouldn't. Until I understood that was my gift and my strength. Hmm. Then I, I really dove deep into that area and I just came up with, well, maybe I can do a reading based on a photo. And that's what I started right after I received that healing and that confirmation. You know, I always doubt myself and She said, you got the gift, just do it. And your guides are there, your father's there. And, uh, you know, like I did one for your daughter and I just started writing it out and it literally just started in March and I named it Divine Lens Readings and I just have like an Instagram page and You know, I'm pretty busy with it and it just, it warms my heart because I know how it made me feel.

Yeah.

And I try to give them whatever validation they may need. So I always say, is there anything you wanna hear? Anything you're looking for an answer for? Or, and then I didn't realize that I could do psychic ones as well. And I've lately have been doing some health things with people. I can tune into their body. Through their most recent photo and say, you know, you should get your adrenals checked or your gut health checked or whatever it may be. So I'm going to delve into that a little bit more as well because that could save people a lot of money and time.

Yeah.

And it's just like it's a really good feeling. And then, you know, I'm just going to let it progress as it's supposed to.

Yeah. So there's something about looking at a photo for you. Do you see something in the photo? How does that work?

I actually, I don't even really know how it happens. Like, it's just like when I meet somebody, I can read their energy in a second.

Mm-hmm.

And, or I can read a room. It's just like that. There's just something. And it can be an old photo. Or if it's about health, I want a recent photo. But if it's someone that passed away, it could be a photo from 30 years ago. I'll say, send me two, and I'll still get the same information. It's just I meditate, I just hone in on it, and I just write out what I get. And sometimes it's hard because Some talk really fast, some talk in codes. And I, you know, if I see a red rose, I'm like, okay, well, what does that mean? Do they like red roses? Is it an anniversary, a birthday? So still learning all, all of that. And for them to speak louder, clearer sometimes. And sometimes my hand's going to fall off because sometimes I have 10 pages And most of the time I have to rewrite it because, you know, it was sloppy because I was going so fast. But I like my own writing versus typing. I think it's more authentic. And sometimes I start writing apparently like the person that passed away writes.

Oh, okay.

I've been told that. 'Cause I'm like, why is my writing changing? I don't write like this. And I did kind of notice that, and I just thought it was from fatigue. But a couple people have said, oh my God, that was my mom's handwriting that I noticed it changed. I was like, oh, interesting. So I just feel like it's more authentic. But, um, you know, I've had good feedback and there's nothing where somebody said like, no, that doesn't resonate at all, or you're completely off. So it makes me feel good when I help other people feel good. And I've always— that's my personality. I mean, it's kind of work I've always done. I used to be in the catering industry, and then I went into physical therapy, and I always tend to get into fields where I can relate. Like, I got into physical therapy because I had a third-degree burn on my whole right leg from erna coffee. So I could empathize with patients, burn patients specifically. And I worked in a burn unit, and that's how I met my husband, now 27 years. And again, at that time, would I want to go through that burn? Absolutely not. It was horrific pain, but so many good things came out of that burn.

Right.

I didn't think that at the time, you know, I was 22 years old. Now I'm 57, but, and that's what, and it's like, you know, when people say, oh, it happened for a reason, and it is kind of true, even though you don't want to hear that at the time with anything, but Everything that I've gone through and any trauma or heartache, there's always been something good that has come out of it. And I just, that's another message. Like whoever's going through something really tough, mm-hmm. There's, you know, you just have to try to think on the other side, you'll know someday why this is happening. You know, not just grief, anything, you know? Yeah.

So is that a message that you've gotten from people on the other side when they talk about their passing or stuff like that? Are they relaying that message to their loved ones also?

Yes, a lot. And a lot of times they say this, like, even when I really had a hard time with ones that were younger, you know, like, even like your daughter. And it's like, why? And you can't question it. It's like they know. That that was their life's journey. That was how it was supposed to happen. And apparently they chose that life. I still struggle with that a little bit when they say that we all have our journey and how we pick our parents, we, we pick the, our next life. And because I did past life regression, I did Akashic Records. Like, like when I say I dove deep, I dove deep. I wanted to find out everything. I'm very like, I need to see all the proof I need to see, you know, to, to, to really believe. And there's things I don't know how it happens, the, the, the way they can send you a sign. Mm-hmm. It still amazes me, you know, but somehow they make it happen. And like my dad said, This was part of his journey was to help me go through. I had a spiritual awakening. He goes, I was here to guide you through this because that was very painful going through that because I didn't know what the heck was happening.

Yeah.

So as long as I felt him, I was good. But other people, and I think that's why some relationships struggled. Struggled with my friendships and relationships because I didn't even know what was happening to me. You know, it wasn't just grief. It was like my whole body was just like detoxing, I guess, from what you go through when you have an awakening. Yeah. I didn't even know what an empath was before all of this.

Yeah.

You know, so.

Yeah. And in a sense, it's kind of like a rebirth. You become like a different person. And sometimes people in relationships with us are like, You're not who you were before.

Correct.

Yeah.

And, and that's hard because I'm like, well, was I bad before? You know, I just think that I just was always busy and just always entertaining and doing this and that and had so many different friends, friend groups. And then as I started to change, I guess my needs changed and I feel like I wanted to be with like-minded people, people that, like, valued what I was trying to do and supported it and were interested in it. So, you know, it's difficult when you're with somebody that you've been close with and they don't ask you, so how's your readings going? Or how's this going, you want to be able to share that.

Yeah.

And there's nothing wrong if they don't believe, whether it's for religious reasons or whatever it may be. I guess I just know what I needed for support.

Sure.

And it's all, you know, it's sad, you know, because I miss a lot of— we're all like cordial now. It's just different. But I've just recently met like two great girls that are very similar to me. It doesn't mean that they're doing readings also, but they're spiritual and they believe in this and we're like kind of helping each other. And I think that was divinely led as well, you know, and it's making me feel like whole again. Yeah. But I definitely became more introverted than I was. So I do have to like push myself to get out there. And like me doing podcasts, I do not like public speaking. Like I just don't, but literally a layer comes off of my grief every time I do this. I think you are like my 6th or 7th. And it just, I feel, I just feel really good to, yeah. And hopefully even if it's just one person that I helped, yeah, it makes me feel good.

Well, what you've gone through is, you know, we call it spiritual transformative experience, which is, it's similar to a near-death experience when you tell me the way you, you know, how you change, you know, people say that you're not the same person you were before, your needs change, your, you're— and, and actually going through grief of it, I've talked to a lot of people, you know, me having my daughter pass or someone having some really close— some people can't handle that and they will, they will actually back away. So we do go through these things in life where it's like we do almost become like a different person.

Yeah, how can you not? Like, I just listened to a podcast and, um, this man was saying that there's practical grievers where they, they grieve for that short week. Okay, now we move on.

Yeah.

And that's how they are in life. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I was, I'm not a practical griever. And when somebody comes over and it's like, come on, gotta get going. You've been in your house for, for too long. And it's like, You're telling me I'm grieving incorrectly. So then I put up my shield, right? And then I, then I want to climb into a hole again because this person just deflated me once again.

Right.

And I've learned, and even before all this, I was the type that I'm not just there the first week for my friends when they lost a parent or whoever. I would write in my calendar 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, and reach out or send a card. I was just always like that. And now even more so. I think it's not like, let me know if you need anything. Like, that is the worst thing to say. Yeah. Obviously they need something. You just be there with them. Sit with them. I'm here. Whatever you need. You know? Anticipate their needs.

Yeah.

You know, they're going to need food. They might need help with their kids. They might need, you know, something. And not just, like I said, the first month. It's the lifetime. I mean, like, it's been— it was 4 years in September for my dad. And, you know, I don't think it changes, as I'm sure you know that, but I still miss him every day. It's a whole family dynamic change. You know?

Yeah.

And it was just my sister and I and my mom. And, you know, she's our whole world and she's getting older, you know, like it, it, it's just hard and that you just worry. And, but now you just have to enjoy every minute and don't put things off. Another big thing I like to, to tell people is you should talk about death. Now.

Yeah.

Before you get sick. And I mentioned this before that years ago I brought my parents this book and it said, I'm dead, now what? And to try to make light of everybody dies, everybody is going to die. So tell me now what you want for your wishes.

Right.

But let's open up because other people that don't and just shut it down. I mean, like I said, I'm in my 50s, but I could pass tomorrow, or I could pass when I'm 99. Like, nobody knows, but you should be prepared. People that do not prepare ahead of time, I just think that that's very selfish because the people that are left behind to do all that work, I mean, that is a lot. Like, I didn't— and we were prepared. My mom was very prepared. From all the, you know, financial stuff that I guess with her and my father, but it was still so much to like those phone calls to like any, like, you know, cancel your, their cell phone. I mean, it takes a village to go through all of that and then plan the funeral on top of that.

Right.

And I just feel like it should be something that we talk about and not wait until you're, you're sick, you know?

Yeah, that, that's a hard thing for people. I think, um, it's almost like we feel like we're jinxing ourselves, I guess. It's like if we don't talk about death, we're never going to die. Uh, I remember I was very resistant to doing a will, you know, many, many years ago. But people are like, I don't want to do a will, I'm young. It's like, so these are things that we realize that, you know, everybody has their time. And I'm sure with you doing this work now where you're literally talking to people every day who's lost a loved one, you're very aware that people can pass at any age. It doesn't— you know, we don't all get to be 99.

Right, exactly. And just, I mean, who wouldn't want to write? Like, I say this joke to my mom all the time. I'm like, if I have the wrong flowers at your funeral, like, I don't want you to come back and haunt me, you know? Just there's a way to make light of it. Like, it doesn't have to be so serious because that is one thing that we all have in common, that we all are going to die someday. And I know, like, some people are like, okay, she's like morbid, but I'm just realistic.

Yeah.

And I don't have a crystal ball. I can't see when that's going to happen. But like, you know, my husband and I are both healthy, but we did all that. You know, we did it before, but then we really dove deep and have every, you know, the advanced directives and all of that. Like, let's just do it now while we're both good and we have it. It's done. Because God forbid, I mean, he travels a lot, you know, like you just never know, like on an airplane, you know, crash or something like I'm just aware, realistic, hopeful that that will never happen until we're old. But I just, um, why wouldn't you want what you want written down?

Right.

And also when people die, I realized like nobody was, everyone was afraid to bring up my dad, I felt. And I'm like, why are we, it's Father's Day. Why are we not talking about dad. And so the first Father's Day, I got balloons for everybody and wrote, I said, write whatever name on there you want, any person that you lost, a father figure. And we did, and we wrote messages, and then we released them. And then we started to do that Mother's Day when my mother-in-law passed. And, and we, every year on his birthday, we go out and we celebrate him on his birthday.

Yeah. Yeah.

And just to keep his memory alive. I always talk about him. I always bring him up. And if I knew that it made my mom uncomfortable, then of course I would tone it down. But it's just like, he was such a part of our lives. Like, why not talk about him? And a lot of people can't do that.

Yeah.

You know, it's tough.

So do you still have contact with your father now? Because I know a lot of times people who are mediums say they have difficulty reaching their own loved ones. So do you still have contact with your father?

I do. And whenever I feel— I still have a hard time differentiating who's talking to me. But like with my dad, it's just like a feeling. Like, I just know it's him. Mm-hmm. But there's times where I'm like, I guess you're taking a little break, like, or maybe you're with, you know, talking to mom or something. And I think when he pulled back a little bit, I think he was trying to give me the confidence to, to learn it all this without him. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, when we have guides, like, I don't know who my guides' names are. Some people like, oh, I have this these crazy names. I've been told some names, but I don't know if it's accurate. And that's what I struggled with a lot because I'm so like, I needed to know their names. I want to know what they look like. I want to know what they're here for, who my guardian angels are. And I just feel like there's a collective team up there. And You know, I'm starting to distinguish, like, I know what my body does when my dad's around. I get like tingling on the back of my neck. Or when it's an angel presence versus somebody that passed away presence. You know, I'm honing in on all of those feelings. Or that feeling in your gut, like, don't turn down that road. Like, and then you find out there was a car accident, you know. Things like that I ignored for so long and now I do not.

Yeah.

So, and it's not now I'm just not finding out the bad things. I also know when some, I feel like, nope, this is gonna be good. We, we need this. We should go do this.

Or, okay. Yeah.

Um, so that makes me feel good. I mean, I can always read like someone's coloring's off. I mean, just like basic stuff, but I'm not, you getting those intuitive hits as much about impending deaths or anything. Thank God.

Yeah.

Unless I really want to, I guess I could hone in on that. But I don't really want to know. I want to just live each day and just help other people.

So, Tammy, I'm really curious about your process because it is fairly unique. You use a picture and you write. So when you were going through a mediumship mediumship training, did anybody try to say, this is not the way to do it, Tammy?

No, they didn't. I came up with that on my own.

Okay.

You know, like they were trying to teach me all the other ways and I still have to do everything I was taught. I think for me, having the fear of getting it wrong, it gave me the confidence because I'm not, person's not sitting across from me. And I feel, and it might change the way I do it. I might be able to do it with someone sitting right next to me. But I, it's just what works for me.

Right.

And then it makes it unique and it doesn't take time. Like everyone's like, what's your schedule? Like, I wanna do a reading. I'm like, you just have to send me a photo. We don't need to schedule anything.

Yeah.

If they want to call me, they can, and I can elaborate. I'm sure I would get even more if I was reading to them what I, you know, picked up on. Mm-hmm. And then you could either, you know, gimme validation or not. Like, I still, it's still hard cuz I'll send, you know, the information like I did with you. Right. And then you're like, okay. Like, you know, you pray, you're like, I hope this helped, or I hope something resonated. You know, you just don't know. Some people don't, aren't so specific with me, but I'm like, tell me if I'm not, like, I'm okay, I can handle that. Because in the beginning, I think I was doing too many at once and I was getting like drained, but I don't want people to wait because I know what it feels like to get that. I need that reassurance.

Right. So anyway, I'm curious how much feedback you do get, as you said, because like you sent me about 5 pages of handwritten material. And so do you— what are— what is— what's some of the feedback you've gotten? Have you had any like really crazy things that you came up with and you wrote that down and said, this can't possibly be true?

Oh, yes. And there were in the beginning, I was just like, oh, I'm not going to write that down. Like, I don't even know what this means. And one that stands out the biggest was, um, I kept seeing these socks that were like crazy designs on these socks. And when it came through again, I'm like, all right, I'm just gonna write this. Like, I'm seeing crazy socks, like funky socks, colors, shapes. And she said it was her son that passed in his 20s, I believe. And he always wore crazy socks and they made a pillow out of all his socks. So he validated that for them. So now I don't omit anything because it has a meaning to them. It might not mean anything to me, and somehow it comes through. Or like a certain song, and they'll like, oh my God, after your reading, I got in my car and that song was on. Making people aware of when they're like, I don't get any signs. And I said, well, they say that they're doing this, that they're, it could be something so subtle, like the way the light comes through their blinds in the morning. You know, not always the standard things, a warm feeling on your shoulder. And when I say that, I go, you just to have. I gave my own— Mom does that. Dad doesn't send me any signs. And I go, yes, he does. And he made a point to, to change all the photos in her house. It was crooked. Like, he went in because she was like, I don't get any signs, like, just busy. And my dad had like putty behind each photo. There's— you could not move those. Pictures. So that's how he got her attention. So now she's more aware, you know, and I'm always outside. So I'll always see my little, my cardinal still comes almost daily. And one story which I've shared before was when we were in Italy, crazy things were happening, like missed luggage, missed trains, planes, automobiles. Like it was just There's 12 of us. And I said, Dad, if this is happening for a reason, send me a sign. And I asked, for some reason I asked for a colorful bird. I don't know why. The next day, I'm walking and I looked down and there was this big bird that looked like a, I don't know, it was a golden pheasant. And it had like 6 different colors on it. And it's just 2 of them following me. And it didn't click at all that I asked for that sign and I got it. And after that, everything was fine with our trip. I still don't know why it was happening, you know, all these things happened. He said to make— all I heard him say, you're just making memories. And, you know, it's an unforgettable trip. And it was an unforgettable trip. But that was like undeniable. And one time, um, on his one-year anniversary, we went on a little mother-daughter trip and my phone announced dad calling. Mm-hmm. And my phone never announces phone. My phone's always on silent. Mm-hmm. And that was crazy. So he, he did that for me because I was with my mom, my sister, and our daughters.

Yeah.

Because like I said, I was always getting them when I was alone. So, yeah, like, how— and it rang twice and stopped. And I'll never take his name off my phone, you know. I'm sure now it's a different number, right? But, you know, to me that's too final.

Yeah, I, I can, I can understand that. So, um, you know, we've talked about signs and all the different ways that people get signs, and I really appreciate that because people a lot of times— I've heard the same thing. I never get signs except for the fact that I see 11:11 all the time, or except for the fact that there's always this cardinal pecking on my window, you know, or whatever it is. It's like, okay, that, that's your sign, because there are very many ways to get signs. For— so for someone who's like early in grief and they're trying to figure out how do I ask for signs, how do I get signs, what, what's your advice to them?

Um, I, I say the biggest thing is just being aware. And even if you don't wanna meditate, just being alone, like being in silence. And I would say I'm very specific. I would like to see, and even if you wanna be like out of the ordinary, like I wanna see something that's like an oh my God sign. Like I wanna see a giraffe. Okay, we're not gonna see a giraffe, at least in Pennsylvania, walking down the road. But you may see a picture of a giraffe. Mm-hmm. You know, whether it's on TV, whatever, you ask and you say, or even if you wanna see like a blue jay or a certain animal or something, you say within 24 hours, I want to, you have to be very specific. And 9 out of 10 times it does come. Mm-hmm. And like my dad's number, like, so I might not hear from him all the time, but there's this funny commercial that he loved and it was something to do with the number 44. It's like a football commercial. So 44 is, oh, I always have 44% on my phone. 44 emails. It just, it's, I'm like, wow, or 444, you know, at the time. And it even took me a while to pick up on that when it first started happening. And when I first started doing my readings, I like introductory price was $44, you know, and, and there's a meaning to everything. It doesn't just have to be an angel number. You could see you know, 122 on your phone. Well, you look that up, you put that in AI or just Google, what does 122 mean? Like, there's all— there's a meaning to everything. So if you see something more than once, that's your sign, you know. Um, it could be a smell, you know, their smell, whether they smoke cigars or they love coffee or their scent. Like, um, you know, I just think people that aren't aware of how many ways they can send, right? Um, like, you know, for us, our lights would go real dim. Um, my mother-in-law, when she passed, we had a phone that was out of service that just started beeping. And it had Manhattan Beach, California on it, which is where my sister-in-law lives, her daughter. And I'm like, I guess she's trying to communicate with all three of us. We're in Philadelphia and she's in LA. And it was just like right after she passed. And I'm like, maybe she was getting a lesson on how to use the electronics or something up there. But it just was something that You know, I know like my husband and I just started laughing. We're like, that is insane.

Yeah.

That, that happens. And, you know, or like little things like pictures fall over and, you know, like trying to get your attention or hearing a little knock. Like, I don't know. I just think I would, before, I think those things always happened, but I, again, like always had the TV on or the, you know, music. That I ignored, right? That, you know, before my dad died, it could have been guides that are my ancestors that were trying to contact me. But they're there. You just, you just have to ask and be patient. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I think you're right. I think we do have to be patient. Sometimes people aren't as patient as they should be. You talked about it earlier. And I'm very much a type, a left-brain kind of person too. So I'm like, how does this work? And sometimes it will take them a while to get the signs to us. We don't know if they're like, you know, manipulating air currents, or, you know, what, how, how that whole process works. But what we do know from our experience is that it definitely does, it does happen. So I would, when it comes to mediumship, you know, people have different ideas about it. You mentioned earlier that you're Catholic by birth. I think sometimes people say your Catholic background. What are your thoughts in terms of like, what is the role of mediumship in people's lives? Relating to religion, or just in general? You said it really helped you, mediumship. How did it help you? And in your experience, when you do readings for other people, how does it help them?

Um, I guess it validates that they're not really gone. They're not here physically, but they're still very present in our lives. They, they know everything that's happening in our lives. And it just seems like it's such a great place. Like, like if you read about near-death experiences, like none of them want to come back. You know, and that almost brings me piaf. I feel bad these people went through these, you know, NDEs, but it's like they just said, oh, it was so beautiful and serene. And, and you look like at the best you've ever looked. Like you can go back to, like, I see my father who was 81 when he passed. I see him a lot. In his like 30s.

Hmm.

So I'm like, did you pick that age, dad? Or how's that? I don't know how it works, but like, I see him in his like Army Reserves uniform a lot, you know, which, you know, I was young then and just, um, I, I think that's what it is. It's just validation. Like, yes, they're physically not here, but this medium That helped me so much, who I still am friends with to this day and still reach out to her. Mm-hmm. Like, there's no way she could have known those things.

Yeah.

That, like, things in the past or even like what I did the day before, you know, or how he came to me. Mm-hmm. And I was just, I mean, who wouldn't want that? I don't know. I just, That just brings you peace. Like, yes, they're not here. You know, would I want them here? Absolutely. But they are very aware, like even like for celebrations, they come.

Yeah.

Often. So when you light birthday candles, there might be a flame that's a little bit smaller than, you know, one or one that, you know, is larger or one that won't blow out. Like they try to, to let us know that they're there or look at the photos after a celebration. Like I can pick up on, you know, I could see like a little orb or I can see like a shadow sometimes. And like my niece got married last year and we, of course, we were all really missing my father. And, you know, I definitely saw, I didn't, they'll know now, but I didn't tell any of them that I saw him in a lot of the photographs.

Yeah.

And I can't see it with the naked eye, spirits. I can feel them, but I can see them in photographs.

Interesting. Yeah.

Yeah. Very interesting. You know, and I'm sure if I, um, sometimes you have to edit it to really see. You know, with the contrast and the lighting where I can just see that there's a presence there. And, you know, so I think with mediumship and it's almost like a stigma, you know, like being psychic medium, like woo woo stuff. It's really not. I just say I'm intuitive. I'm intuitive. I, I can sense people's feelings. And yes, I can talk to dead people.

Yeah.

But I'm not crazy. I am just, I am doing this not even for my business. Like, it's not even like, I feel funny even calling it a business because it's just a way to get that pain off of somebody's chest.

Yeah.

And that's the feedback that I've received. Yeah.

And I really appreciate you saying that because I've known— I know a lot of mediums. And, you know, of course, it is a business for a lot of people, and we all have to eat and make money and, you know, pay bills and all that stuff. But the people I know that do it too, because, because it's a service, because they want to help people, they want— they want to alleviate that— the worst thing that we go through, which is grief, and that feeling of loss and You said it so well. The thing is, it's that validation that our loved ones continue. You know, a lot of times people do— we will go to church and we will hear these things. But when it actually comes down to when someone actually passes, we want to know a little bit more than that. And that validation can be so, so helpful when someone can tell you, you know, in a way that they provide you with evidence that their loved one is still around. Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah. And yeah, that's all I always been like, I need validation for a lot in my life, which I'm trying not to, but with this, it's, I don't know, it just warms my heart. Like, and I love, I love doing that for other people. And I still get readings because like I said, like he might not be coming to me as much. I like to see what other people pick up on, or, you know, that maybe I'm missing if my dad's communicating with me or my mother-in-law or anyone that I've lost. And, um, and just to see their style too and try to learn from other mediums.

Yeah.

And, you know, it's still like, you still have to, just like with physical therapy, you had to take continuing education courses. I still have You still have to work that muscle. I mean, you know, I have to work it every day to stay active. I don't want to lose it. Like, I'm so afraid I'm going to lose it. Like, I dream every night. I know I'm dreaming, but I open my eyes and it's gone. And that is so, you know, for me that can get hits like that, it's so frustrating.

Yeah.

But I just have to just go with it. I'm like, all right, one day I will remember it's leading up to something.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, but not every— like, I could never see myself like the Long Island Medium type in a, you know, hundreds of people and battling things out. That's not my style, right? Yeah, I'm more like, you know, just alone and like to just do it and just give people peace. I don't want a big fanfare or anything like that.

Yeah, well, everyone's got their role to play, and everyone, you know, has a different technique, which I appreciate your, your teacher's not trying to change you, because I know people that have gone and take mediumship courses and they're like, this is the way I do it, and the teacher's, no, no, no, this is the way we do mediumship. And I think, I think there are as many ways to do mediumship as there are mediums, you know, out there. It's going to be a little bit different for everybody. You You— some people hear things, some people see things, some people sense things. So, um, it's going to be different for everyone.

Yeah.

So, um, all right, Tammy, we're coming to the end of our time, but I know people are going to want to reach out to you. So how can people— how can people reach you?

Um, so I have an Instagram page called Divine Lens Readings, and, um, they can just direct message me there. Or I don't know if you add that on your show notes.

Oh yeah, yeah, I can do that.

My email.

Sure.

And that's it. And people just send me a photo and I read out what I get. And, um, what I do is a special price for anybody that's a podcast listener. So, um, like a discounted price. So right now my readings are $111. So I usually do like a half off of that. So they will do it for $55 or something like that.

So if someone just sends you a message on Instagram and says they heard you on Grief to Growth.

Yes.

Okay.

That's all they have to say. And from whenever this podcast is released, I, you know, I'm really flexible and very easygoing, you know, within like a month of it being out.

Okay.

And just message me and I will honor that. And usually takes— it just depends on what's going on. But I don't believe anyone has waited longer than 24 to 48 hours for a reading.

Oh, well, okay. I know, I know people have waiting lists of 4 years, so that's pretty good.

Someday I might be like that, but I am type that I try to get it to them as soon as possible because I know it.

Yeah, that's awesome.

You need that.

Yeah. Well, I really appreciate the work that you're doing, um, that you're, that you're paying it forward. I think it's, it's great. I'm glad I got to meet this afternoon. So, um, yeah, thanks for being here.

Thank you for having me.

All right, enjoy the rest of your afternoon.

You too.

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