John Schaefers- Shared Death Experience With His Father

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Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

Hi, everybody, this is Brian D Smith back with another episode of Grief to Growth. And today I've got with me a gentleman, his name is John Schaeffers. And John reached out to me, he's had a really interesting experience, actually set of experiences that are known as shared— shared— he had a shared death experience, but also some experiences before that as well. So John doesn't have a bio, he hasn't done a lot of podcasts on this subject. It's just something he wanted to reach out and share his story because he thinks it's something that really people need to know. So no long intro today. And I just want to bring in John Schaeffers, and we'll have a conversation. Brian D Smith: John, it's, it's great to have you here. So we were just talking before we started recording, you were telling me that you had had this experience that you wanted to share with people. And you found me on the internet and asked if I would help you share it. You sent me a fascinating document, some things that happened in your life, up leading up to the shared death experience. So just go ahead and tell your story and start wherever you like.

Okay, well, um, I think the background is important. Uh, I— the reason I'm telling this is because my father died. Now I'll state that up front, that was in 2001 on, um, May 5th. And, uh, my dad had just had a birthday and he was celebrating his 76th birthday and we were all together. And my brothers teased me about going up and seeing my mom and dad so much, but I would go up check on them because, you know, they're older. And, uh, I, you know, he needed help mowing or whatever I could do to help out. And I get Mama, take her shopping and things like that, just to get her— get them apart for a while, you know. Yeah. And, uh, anyhow, uh, they tease me about it. So, uh, the last talk I had with my father was in the parking lot of that restaurant And then the following weekend, which wasn't but a few days, I had to give an SAT test up at the high school. And so I'm up there giving the test early in the morning, and around noon it was all done and I'm heading out. And I'm thinking, well, maybe I'll run up and check on my mom and dad. But since my brother is hounding me so much about it, I uh, decided to make a right-hand turn. And I debated it at the intersection for a good while, and then I finally just went home. And I wanted to do— mow my lawn. So that's what I proceeded to do. And I got on the lawn mower, and a riding lawn mower, and I had about 3/4 of an acre, so I had a lot to mow. And I got done with the front yard, I was moving on to the backyard, and, um, all of a sudden I have these chest pains, really bad chest pains. And it's so bad I had to stop the tractor. And I, I had a friend who is a physics teacher also, and he was riding a lawnmower and had a heart attack. And I thought, oh no, this can't be, you know, that's too coincidental. And I'm, I'm worried, but then the pains go away. And then of course, because of the European ethics that we have, you know, you got to finish the job. I continued on and kept just telling myself, well, there's only a little bit more, right? And so I continued and I got almost all of it done. And all of a sudden I started having those same pains again and I had to stop the tractor again. And I really was concerned now. I thought, whoa, what is going on? You know? And they hurt. It hurt really bad. And so I told myself, if I get done here today, I'm going to go sit down and take it easy for the rest of the day. You know, it's just a warning sign. I got to eat it. And so I proceeded to sit there on the tractor till the pains went away. And then I just told myself, honey, I have a little bit more to go. And I did it. And I started to put the tractor away. And here comes my wife. And of course she has a honey to-do list, you know. And I told her, I said, I'm going out back. I'm going to get something to drink. I'm going to sit down. I said, I'm not feeling good. I said, I need to, I need to take a break right now. And well, she accepted that. And then I went up back up into the yard. And it's like a little mini park, what I have. It's, it was elevated above the house, like the hillside goes up and then back. And it was a bright sunny day, nice, beautiful day. And so I go sit under the tree with something to drink. And as I'm sitting down, and I just sit down, I have this feeling like some— somebody's behind. And I, I, I don't know how to liken this. It's sort of like, I guess, sort of our survival skills as a human species. We, we become more alert for something like that for some reason, uh, survival skill, I guess. But I just felt like somebody was back there, and I thought, well, there were some kids who were playing in the bushes way, way back um, and it's not forested with big trees, but there are scrubby bushes all the way back and a few trees here and there. And I thought they're probably back there playing. They had paint guns and they were shooting each other, you know. And, uh, so I sat back down again, but then I got that feeling like, gosh, something's right— somebody or something's behind me. And I turned around and I looked, didn't see anybody. And, uh, I, uh, I looked to my left and right and, uh, nothing. And finally I sat down and, uh, you know, it was really, really odd. And all of a sudden this— and I, I don't know how to describe it— it was like a golden, sunny, enormous euphoria. It just overcame me. And just— I don't know how it was so uplifting. It was so bright and dazzling and, and mesmerizing. And I just sensed this tremendous energy. And, and I don't know why the word energy comes— I'm a physics teacher. I teach physics, mathematics, and Earth and Space Science. And I've taught computer science. Anyhow, chemistry, biology, I'm in all those areas. Anyhow, they, they, they, you know, it was the only way to describe it is just sheer energy. And all of a sudden I, I turn because I still had this feeling like something's behind me, and I can see like people behind me. And some of the people are— and I just sensed this, I didn't see their faces, you know, like to recognize them, but I sensed them, I felt them, that they were closer to me who had passed away. And then further back, further back, the lineage went back in time. I could see all like I don't know, thousands of years of people behind me, like my lineage was out there in, in this area. And the closer the people were, the more concerned or the more interested they were in what was going on. But the others were still there and they were present. And, and then I slowly rotate back to the front because I feel the presence of two entities. And I don't know how to describe it, but at the time I felt like it was my father and his brother. His brother died a tragic death, and they were very close. They worked together on lots of stuff and everything. And, uh, Dad was sort of like, uh, the middle one, and, uh, Uncle Bernard was, uh, he was, uh, the youngest one, and he had died in Ohio. And I had a premonition about that. Anyhow, they, they, uh, I just sensed them there. Now, I couldn't see my father's face. I, you know, I didn't specifically like, oh, there's my dad, but I knew it was my dad and he was there. And he was saying to me, it's all going to be okay, everything's going to be all right, don't worry about anything, it'll all work out. And then, and I'm like thinking through my mind, all right, all right, you know, like, no, that isn't going to happen. I know how life is, you know, it's rough and tough. And no, he, he persisted and he said, no, everything's to be okay, everything's going to be fine, you'll see, it's going to be, it's going to be great. And it was a calming, uh, to, to make me more restful, to make me feel more at ease. And, and like I said, it was just, just this enormous euphoria over, over me as it happened. And then as, as it started to fade, it— the, the energy just started to fade. I'm left there sitting there sort of like mesmerized. And even though I sensed you know, his brother there too, you know, they— he didn't speak to me like, but he was there, he was present. I felt his presence there. And then as all this started to fade away, the next thing you know, I'm, I'm looking out over the house to— the sun's off to the left, um, it's more, you know, in the afternoon now. And I, and I'm— it's— I don't know how long it was. I, I couldn't, I couldn't give you an idea. I would say maybe 10 minutes, you know, maybe less, maybe 15, I don't know. But I just felt I sat there for a while. And then it was sort of like collecting my thoughts. And, and the most important thing was that immediately I started thinking about where did this energy come from? What caused this? Where was this originating from? Because it was an enormous amount of energy. The only thing I could think about that could even come close would be the energy of the sun. I mean, that's how powerful this felt to me sitting there. And, and I know that sounds ludicrous, but it— I just felt like it was a universal power. And I, I was totally overwhelmed. And I'm trying to put all this into the slots, you know, trying to figure out, well, what happened here? What is this? What did it mean? But I sure as shoot know that this religious concept that we get taught, no matter what religion, it's not right. The what's coming or where we go, there is something, and it's not like we're being told. It is completely different. And I, I haven't gone back to church. I have— I'm I am a spirit, meaning I believe in God. And I think God is something more pervasive than anybody can even describe. I think it's a power, like an energy. And we go to this place and it's not like, have you been good? Or any other hoops we gotta jump through. It's completely different. That's the feeling I have. And I'm not as afraid of death no. For some reason, that was conveyed to me also. In other words, like, this— it's a natural part of thing, and this is going to happen, and, you know, we'll see you too. And when my dad died, I said, sort of like in the movie of the Gladiator, not yet. In other words, I'll see him again someday. And, uh, but so anyhow, I came out of this fog, like, and I got up and, uh, well, first of all, I heard my wife call me and I came out of this fog and I went down the hill, you know, I wasn't running or anything, I just went down the hill. She said, your brother Keith's on the phone, he wants to talk to you. So I went down and, and he handed— she handed me the phone and Keith said that Dad just died. And I, I was struck. I had to sit down. I had to sit down on the ground. And, uh, so I took the information what he gave me, you know, what had— where he was up at the hospital. And here, Dad, because I didn't go up, he went over and volunteered to help my brother fix a part on his pool heater pump. My dad was a mechanic. He was really good. He could fix anything. Gas, you know, gas dryers, everything. He knew how to do plumbing, everything. So anyhow, his family used to build homes. Anyhow, the— I, like I said, I was floored, and I couldn't relate to my wife. I didn't feel at the time like this is something I want to share with my family because this was like my dad's time or their time. And so I didn't tell my family, but my brother told me that dad was out in the backyard. This is important to the story. Uh, my dad was out in the backyard and he was working on the heat pump And he took a break and came up and saw my brother's wife, who gave him a glass of water. And she was getting a shower, gonna go get a shower and go shopping. And so he went back out there to work. She came out just to check on him one more time. And before she left, and here he was out there, and he had had a heart attack and was holding the tool and the part in his— and it's still in his hand. Well, she screams, the neighbors came running, and they tried to get his, uh, the paramedics arrived and they tried to get his heart started. And that's when I felt, I think, the heart attack. I felt the pain. And then they tried to start his heart again, and then they took him to the hospital and they couldn't get him, couldn't Couldn't save him the second time. So the first was his heart attack, the pains I felt. And then the second one was when they tried to revive him to get his heart going again. And so I eventually, I did share with my brothers and sisters. And of course they look at you very funny. You know, you could tell a stranger and they're gonna be more susceptible to believe what has happened. Than your own family because it's sort of like, well, why would he pick you, you know? Or why would he, why would he go to you, you know? And that— and I love my dad and I respected my father, but I— but it wasn't like I was the closest. I would say my brother Keith was, was closer to my dad. They were like buddies, always around each other. And, um, and then that had to do with me going off, being the oldest and going to Vietnam and all that. But I think that he, you know, that for some reason he came to me. And, you know, I still haven't put all the pieces in place. But in general, that's what happened. Stay with us.

We'll be right back.

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I hope to see you there. Yeah, that's so— that's, that's amazing. It's really incredible. So I want to ask you a few questions. So had you heard about experiences like this before this happened to you?

Not like this, nothing like this. Uh, the simultaneous thing, the only thing I had heard before is my mother had pains in her chest when her father died. She knew when her father had died, and then eventually someone contacted her, but she had had pains in her chest also when this happened. So, um, you know, that, that's the only closest thing that I know of.

Yeah. Are you familiar with near-death experiences? Have you heard much?

Yeah, no, I had heard about them, you know, and occasionally I had heard on TV somebody had, you know, come on either Oprah or somebody's show that I happened to catch, you know.

Yeah.

But it wasn't like I was into this or anything, you know, nothing like that, you know. Right. Uh, I do have, uh, I do, I have had premonitions about a number of things So maybe I'm a little more attuned, more receptive of feeling-wise, you know, to something, you know. And maybe that's why I was chosen, you know.

So I'm curious about your— what were your spiritual beliefs or your religious beliefs before this happened with your father?

Well, when we were little, we would go— we went to the Methodist Church. And then— and well, our— my family was all over the place, so to speak. We— they were, uh depending on who they married and whatever, you know, extended family and that. But we— my dad was Catholic, and my mother, of course, was Methodist. So she won that battle. And he was with that because he used to get his fingers wrapped all the time in Catholic, and he didn't have a good experience with the nuns. So he encouraged us to do that. But there was a Catholic church near where we were, and the Methodist church was far away. So then we, uh, we just sort of stopped going after a period of time because once we moved from Pittsburgh where we had a church foundation, and then we moved to, uh, 20 miles north of Pittsburgh, and at that time in 1957 there was not— it was a farm, farm field where the housing development was going in, and we lived— we were one of the first families to move into that, and there was no churches. And so we moved away from that. And then, but it's like when my, when my dad died, the minister, they asked some minister to say a few words for my dad. And he marveled at that we hadn't gone to church, and yet we were such good people, you know, that we had good convictions and we were quality good people, you know. And you don't— I don't think you need that go-to-church thing in, in, in all cases, you know. Everybody has their own, you know, thing, right? And I, I think that in, in our case, we just tried to do what was right, you know. And that we had the initial bringing up, and of course Mom and Dad were there to steer us but we didn't go to church to church. And then I married my wife, and she is Catholic, and so I would go to church with her, you know, and I would do what I could there. But then after, after this happened, I, I didn't want to go no more. I, I just— it doesn't feel—

I don't—

this doesn't feel right to me anymore because I think that there's something else it's different.

And so what were your thoughts about the afterlife before this happened? I mean, did you, did you believe in what the church said?

I always, I always, I always had hoped that there would be an afterlife, you know. I, that's my, you know, like, well, there, it just can't end, you know. I, I was like hoping that would be the way it would be because, uh, you know, what else is there, you know? You either have to have a little hope in that area. And of course, if there is an afterlife, you know, you want to do the most you can to be the best you can be. And, you know, you don't want to be a bad person no matter what, you know. And you know what, you know, there's no— you have to be who you are. And you— that can't change. And so, but the afterlife through the church, first of all, it's a little foggy what they think, you know, they're too busy trying to make out like you're a criminal or a, uh, um, you've been bad in order to be good, you know, to get to good. And if you're not bad, I mean, if your premise is, I'm doing the best I can, right, you're not a bad person. And then, and you don't think of things as negative, you know, you think it— try to be more constructive, the positives in life. And so therefore, I just had funneled my own belief into that there is a God. You know, I had this feeling there is a God. But I, you know, I couldn't— I wasn't satisfied with any religion, no matter, no matter whose it was. And, you know, and I did learn about, you know, we have my sister married a Jewish fellow. And so we have all, you know, they're all in the family. But so I tried to share this with my family. I wrote it down, gave them copies, sent them emails with the information. You know, and I have done that. And the most I get is like acknowledgement that I sent it to them. That's the most I could hope for, you know, and but at least I have told, you know, and that's the best I can do.

So, so this, this, you described it as a kind of a golden energy. Is this something that you saw or that you felt? Was it in your objective eye or your mind's eye?

No, I felt like I was surrounded by this. The only word to describe it is like a euphoria, like a tremendous amount of energy. And it was, it was like a golden yellowish atmosphere, and it was just so uplifting and so mesmerizing, you know, that, that what I was in. And it, and then when it went away, it just sort of dissipated, just sort of just gradually just And then I'm left there, you know, back to where reality is and thinking, what happened? You know, what was that? You know, so, and tried to figure it out. And then yet I'm accepting what happened, but I'm still questioning what happened. You know, it was that kind of a feeling.

I would imagine being a man of science as you are, you're probably trying to figure it out Oh yeah. What, what was this? How did this happen?

Yeah, yeah. I, I— and, and you, after it, after the funeral and everything, I, you know, I've gone back and thought about it a number of times too, and it's really kind of hard to— you can't— there's nothing to, uh, examine, you know. All you have is what, what you have, you know. Um, so, and like I said, I've had many many premonitions about things. Like, my— before my uncle died, um, I just give you a couple. Yeah, I had a dream, a lucid dream, where I dreamt that I was throwing this party at our house in Ohio. And when I gave the party, uh, and it was— went well, everybody was leaving, but I didn't see my, my dad or my uncle leave.. And I thought, well, where are they? And then I saw my dad and mom and okay, but I still didn't see my uncle. And the basement started to fill up with water. And I thought, where's all this water coming from? Where, where, why is it filling up the basement? And that's, that's the way the dream ended. Well, he died 3 days later and the, and everyone at the funeral cried. You know, they were heartbroken. And that water was a symbol of— was what I figure— a foreshadowing of the tears, the enormous output of grief.

Right.

And one, T'Pol led out his wife. Oh, I think it was about— it had to be a number of years later. I get a, uh, sort of fell out of touch with her because, you know, they— after someone passes after so many years, you— they, they go in a different direction, so to speak. And, uh, and I had moved back to Pennsylvania, and I had this dream where someone was at the foot of my bed, and it was my uncle. And he's telling me, call Aunt June, call Aunt June, talk to Aunt June, tell her that you saw me, that you talked to me.

I—

after the dream was over, I wake up and I'm like, now how am I going to call my aunt and tell her that this happened? I'm going to upset her. I'm going to— you know, it's just, it's not right. I shouldn't do this because it would hurt her feelings. You know, maybe this is you know, um, just a crazy dream that I, you know, but as the day went on, I couldn't get it out of my mind.

I—

it just wouldn't go away, and it kept coming back to me and back to me. You gotta call her. Finally, I gave in, and I called her, and I told her about the dream, and eventually, and talked to her about it. And, uh, she was getting ready to move to West Virginia. And I talked to her and told her, and she says, you know what today's date is? I said, no. She says, this is his birthday. And I don't remember ever celebrating his birthday. You know what I mean? He lived in Ohio. We lived in Pennsylvania. And when I moved to Ohio, he was in and out, you know, helping me build the house that we were building in in Ohio, but it was his birthday. Now, I didn't, I didn't remember that, you know what I mean? It didn't come, occur to me, right? So that's, that's one kind of thing that has happened to me, and there have been a number of others.

So, um, you mentioned several, um, dreams that were, that were—

oh yeah, very vivid, yes—

that were going to happen. And I think you even said you dreamt a lottery number at one point.

Oh yeah, yeah, I did that and I hit that too. Yeah. And, um, and, and, and, uh, just, just last week I hit the, uh, well, I hit for $5,000 on my birthday. I played a number, that's in March. And then here the other day, about 2 weeks ago, I hit another 4-digit number. They're hard to hit. And I hit 2 3-digit numbers in a row. And Uh, and then I boxed one here the other day too. So it kind of lucky, I guess, in that sense. But the, the, uh, the premonitions and, uh, things are really something. Like, like, uh, before my dad died, I had a huge dream. My dreams are like Technicolor. They're like in Technicolor, and they're like movies. I don't know how else to explain but they go on and on and on and, uh, detail. And the problem is if I don't write it down right away when I get up— and I kept a, a diary through the years, and, and I write the, the ones that are very lucid, I write them down and try to remember as much as I can. And some of them don't seem to make any sense until later in life, you know, or later down the road something might happen that, um gives you that, that conflict. Um, let's see here. I don't know if I have it here. I'm looking over. Um, I, I had the one with my mom. And, um, yeah, the funny thing about my dad dying, he had just gone to the doctor and he was given a clean bill of health by the doctor. So, you know, that That tells you a lot of, um, a lot about it.

Did your mother have any, any other premonitions or any other experiences like when her father passed?

Um, I think, I think Mom did have from time to time, um, but she would, um, I guess like put the— put it off. Like, you know, she didn't like, you know, tell us a whole lot about it or whatever. You know, I had a dream and I was looking at my notes here. I don't know where it's at. I don't have it in front of me. So I'll just try to do it off the cuff the best I can. The— we took my mom, she— during COVID terrible for the senior citizen. She was 92, 93. And you couldn't get in to see during COVID you know, no one could go in the building, you know, to see and that was terrible. That was like 6 months. Of, uh, you know, no interaction, so to speak, with the family. We wouldn't go outside and see her outside the window and, you know, and wave to her and drop things off. And, you know, I would go over daily. My sister lives in California, so she couldn't, uh, she couldn't be there all the time. So, uh, and my other sister is far away too, so I'm the closest. I I'm retired, so I could spend time with my mom and help her out. Anyhow, the— my sister decides to bring her out to California to get her out of this COVID jail, so to speak. So she— we rented a private plane. And we took her out to California. And which was no, no easy feat during the COVID either. And we get her out there and she's okay for a good while. And I have a dream where— and I wish I had it in front of me here, I can't remember all the details— but basically, I have this dream that there's a river and it's separating and there's this squall. And this squall is being influenced by this warrior. And the warrior wants to, like, control her and take her. And the gist of the dream is that he he, uh, she goes to him. She crosses the water. And, and I'm on this side of the, the water, and there's like ice. It's cold. And in the dream, there's like these 7 warriors. And I, I see the, this, the analogy is that my— there's 6 of us children in the family. And anyhow, Mom goes to him. She gives in and goes over to the other side. And this happens a few— a day or two before she passed away.

Wow.

She decided to end her life. And I didn't know that at the time the dream was I had the dream. And so it's more deep, there's more detail. If I had it, I could refresh my memory about it. But it's just amazing that this powerful warrior was my father on the other side. And he's trying to entice her to come across. And that, that's a pretty powerful dream.

Very powerful.

And then of course, the ice and the cold, you know, the the lack, missing, you know. In fact, the other night I had— I have not had hardly anything from my mom, and I thought I would feel the presence of my mom, but I have not since she died in 2020. And, uh, but last night I had a dream that she was there and Dad was there, and I went and gave her— I was so surprised to see her, I ran and gave her a big hug. And I realized while I'm doing this in my dream that I didn't do it enough.

Yeah.

And that, that's kind of dream that I have.

And then so do you, you mentioned you hadn't heard much from your mother since she passed in 2020. Do you, do you have communications or any, any experiences with your father since he passed?

Oh, yeah, a number of times I've had things happen. Like I said, I keep the dream book, and I'd have to refer to, you know, to it to see all the things that have happened. But pretty much, I have a sense that he's there or around me, or he's concerned. That's that sense. But nothing like the experience I had when he died. And, but the lucid dream about my mom and the warriors and crossing the river, getting to the other side. Yeah. That to the tribe on the other side. See, there's, there's, there's more over there, the ones who have passed on, you know.

Yeah.

So that Those, those are pretty powerful. So, uh, just the other dreams are sort of like, I, I sense his presence, or he's here, he's, uh, letting me know that, you know, that the things are okay. That's a— that's— there's no specific one I can remember without looking, you know, in my records.

Yeah, you know, it's really interesting that you reached out to me when you did, because I, I was assuming you probably saw the interview I did with William Peters of the shared, uh, shared crossing. So there's an organization called Shared Crossing where people share their—

yeah, that I saw that. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. So yeah, the shared death experience is not nearly well known as near-death experience, but it is fairly common, more common than most of us have been led to believe. And some people don't even know that it's possible that we can have these experiences before at the time of someone's passing or after someone passes, that we can kind of at least go on part of that journey with them and share in that, in that crossing. And as I listened to you talk, and you're— I was asking what your mother having experiences, because a lot of times this sensitivity seems to run in families. So it sounds like you might have picked up that, that gene from your mother. Maybe that's why you're the one that's getting this.

Yeah, I think probably, like, One Easter we, um, or one winter day we were— forget, we were coming up— wasn't Easter, uh, I'm wrong there. It was a winter day and I had this terrible, horrible feeling and I just couldn't shrug it. And this was in Ohio and it was starting to snow and I just, just dread, like I didn't want to leave the house. And finally We got my wife, let's go, we gotta go, you know, we can't wait any longer if we're gonna get there. Excuse me. So I get in the car and we go, we drive here. Um, right after we pulled out of that, out of the driveway at the bottom of this hill, it's a steep hill, the people up the road crashed into the guardrail right at where we would have been. So it's funny, little things like that have happened. You know, premonitions, like I've learned that it's better to— if something slows you down, take it, because there might be a reason to slow down, you know. So premonition, I guess you'd have to call it, you know, that you feel or sense something's going to happen, you know.

And I know the document you sent me, these premonitions have been going back for decades.

Oh yeah, when I was in the Navy, we were, uh, we were in the Philippines, and we were supposed to go, um, eventually we were supposed to go up to Japan. But I had a dream that we had a flash priority message to proceed to, uh, the Sea of Japan. And in my dream, I saw reds and blues and all the colors like I usually dream., but it was turmoil, conflict-like. So I told the guys when I came out of the dream, was so lucid, and I remember, you know, more of the detail at that time than I do today.

Sure.

And I told them about it and they all laughed. It couldn't have been 5 minutes later, we received a flash priority message to proceed to the Sea of Japan, and we ended up going up near Vladivostok, Russia. And, you know, I can't explain that, you know, how could I sense that, you know. So, and, you know, maybe there were some things, you know, that might have insinuated that we were going to go there. But being— I was in combat, Combat Information Center, Radar Room, and cleared for secret. Worked with electronic countermeasures and things. And anyhow, when the Russian bombers would pass over us, they would turn their fire control radar on. We knew that. And they shadowed us. Their destroyer shadowed us wherever we went. And of course, we were shadowing them. You know, it's round and round and round. And that's, that's That was a little scary because, you know, we were more concerned about their ability, you know, to fight a war than some other countries, you know. So, but yeah, that was a premonition I had. And I've had like déjà vu, and I've had like, I'd tell one time when I was real little, I told my mom, I said, Dad's coming home. She says, no, he's not. He's at work. He's good. He's working a double shift. He'll be home later. And I said, no, no, I just sensed that he's coming home, Mom. And here he came home, the power went out at the plant and they sent them home. Just little things like that, you know. And one time I went to the Civic Arena, which was the Igloo, they called it back then. And when I walked in there, I could tell you where the restrooms were, where, like the layout. And I had never been there before.

Yeah.

And I, I don't understand that, you know. And I mean, how, how would I know that, you know, where, which way to turn and how to go? It was amazing. And it lasted for a short time, but then, you know, it was there. I, I just had this uncanny sense, like, like I've seen or done that before, you know. So, you know, these are, these are some things that have happened, you know.

So what would you like for people to take away from the Course experience with your father, but the collection of your experiences? I mean, this is, again, this has been decades you've been having these types of experience.

I guess that ever— that, uh, one time, just to put it in perspective, one time I went with my girlfriend and we went to a fortune teller, a lady who could foresee things, you know. And I walked into the room. And she immediately told me, told me I was patriotic. I wasn't wearing any patriotic stuff, nothing, there was no clue. And then she proceeded to tell me what was going to happen in my life, some things, you know, and some of them, they came true. But what would most impress me was that she was sensitive. I could feel her sensitivity. I don't know how to explain it other than that, but I could sense her ability to sense other things.

You could sense her senses?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it— I just felt like she was really extremely sensitive to attune to things. And either it's a skill where it's an innate ability that she had. But I, when I was in her presence, I felt that not too many people, you know, I can honestly say I feel something like that with them. It's unusual, you know, that was very unusual. So to put it, to put it bluntly, I think some people do have these things happen. And they are more attuned or maybe more sensitive they're more capable of picking this up, this vibrations, these insights, whatever, you know, we want to give the name to, you know. Yeah. So other than that, that's just, just an ordinary person, you know.

Well, you know, I think it's really interesting because, you know, the stereotypes of a military guy the guy of science, you know, you know, and then but then you're so sensitive and so attuned to this and have been for a long time and writing down your dreams, and which is very important to remembering them and having more of those lucid types of dreams and paying attention. It's all very important. And, you know, picking this stuff up.

Yeah, I even dream about famous people. I don't understand that either. But it's like they come through to me sometimes. But the, the, the, yeah, it's, it's, it's interesting at times. But as I get older, it's not as, it's not as there as it used to be. You know, I don't seem to, you know, it's not like I'm getting a message every day or something like that, you know. But I do, I still sense, I still see in color. I would say the dreams are probably a little shorter than they used to be.

Yeah.

But It's still there, and from time to time something comes through, you know. And, um, there's, there's one other event in my life that has happened, and it's multiple events, and I don't know if I want to tell you about it or not, but I've had another occurrence of something that has happened, and it— this has pretty well laid the reason for a lot of what I've done. And the fact that I feel that we're all worthy. Everybody has a— yeah, has a, a reason, you know, for a living, or a purpose, or, uh, no matter what it is, good, bad, or ugly, but we all have some direction that we're going in. And I think everybody's important.

Well, I appreciate you sharing the message that your father shared with you, because I think that's, that's a very common message from these, these types of experiences. And that's everything's going to be okay. And again, from our human perspective, we kind of scoff at that and say, oh, you don't know, you know, you don't know what my life is like, you don't know what I've been through. But ultimately, everything will be okay. And that's why I think when our loved ones get that higher perspective, and maybe they kind of forget a little bit what it's like when we're open, we're here, when we're going through it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I You know, I, I can't be harsh on them because I would find— I would be skeptical of them too, you know, if it hadn't have happened to me, you know.

Right.

But, um, you know, I just keep trying to let them know and let them ask me questions, you know.

Yeah.

Turn it over to them.

What I always say in terms of what, what I do, because I try to spread this message, and I appreciate you letting me share this, your message, is it's our job just to plant seeds. It's not our job to make them grow. We can't make them grow. So, right. So we can, we can put it out there. We can let them ask questions. And then we can be there when they're ready to inquire or not, because either way, they're going to find out one day and then it'll be okay.

Yeah. And I guess it's like the teacher in me, because a lot of people say, oh, well, you know, we got to teach this math in this grade level. And this affected my philosophy on teaching too. Is sometimes the mind isn't ready for certain concepts. And so forcing a child to, uh, maybe they didn't do well in math today, but one year from now they're excelling in this, right? Because the mind is ready for that then, right? And before that, no matter how you beat that horse, it isn't going to go in there. And you, and, and I, and that as a teacher, I, I could see Everybody has their own development timeframe.

Yeah.

So that's, that's, that's a lot of people say individualization of, you know, teaching. It's more, more on when is their timeframe? When are they going to be able to master it? You know, they'll get it.

It's kind of hard sometimes when our, when our eyes are opened up and we want to share it with everybody. We want everybody to know what we know. And we have to, as you just said so well, everybody in their own time, you know, and that's, that's a lesson that I've had to learn as I've gotten older. It's like, you know, everybody in their own time. And you're, we, you're, what you're doing is you're making this available to people. And you're telling your story. And I appreciate this again so much, because I think these stories, while they're for us individually, they're also for us collectively. I think these lessons are important for everybody to hear and to know that these experiences happen to, quote, ordinary people.

Yeah, when my mom told me about her experience, I listened, you know, and I couldn't put that in perspective until it happened to me, right, you know. But, but I, but I, I think it's important that my mom told me. I think it's important for me to get that message out too, because other people may cross this threshold, may experience something like you know.

Yeah. So, but in a way, you're probably bringing some comfort to your family members, even though they're not really willing to accept it right now. But when something tragic happens in their life, they'll remember what, what John said. Or when they are ready to make their crossing, maybe they won't be so, so fearful because they'll remember what John said. I think we're, again, it's just planting these seeds in people's minds, something that they can draw on when they need it.

Yeah. So, uh, thanks for letting me share with you and get, get it out, you know, for people, you know, that they can learn it, learn more maybe, you know.

Yeah, absolutely. I appreciate you reaching out to me, and I've enjoyed this time together, enjoyed getting to know you, and, uh, it's been great.

Well, thank you, Brian.

All right, John, have a good rest of your day.

You too. Take care.

Thanks for listening to Grief to Growth. Brian hopes that you find this episode helpful, and will come back for future episodes. Brian's bestselling book, Grief to Growth: Planted, Not Buried, is a great resource for anyone who is coping with grief or knows someone who is. If you enjoy the podcast and would like to support it, there are 3 things ways you can do to help. The first is to share the podcast with someone that you think it will help. The second is to go to iTunes, rate and review the episode. The third way you can support the podcast is by becoming a patron. Head over to www.patreon.com/grief2growth. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/grief, the number Grief 2 Growth, and sign up to make a small monthly donation. Patrons get access to exclusive bonus content and knowledge that you are helping to spread the message of grief to growth. For more about Brian and Grief 2 Growth, visit www.grief2growth.com. Thanks for listening to Grief to Growth. Brian hopes that you find this episode helpful and will come back for future episodes. Brian's bestselling book, Grief to Growth: Planted, Not Buried, is a great resource for anyone who is coping with grief or knows someone who is. If you enjoy the podcast and would like to support it, there are 3 things you can do to help. The first is to share the podcast with someone that you think it will help. The second is to go to iTunes, rate and review the episode. The third way you can support the podcast is by becoming a patron. Head over to www.patreon.com/grief2growth. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/grief, the number 2, Grief 2 Growth, and sign up to make a small monthly donation. Patrons get access to exclusive bonus content and knowledge that you are helping to spread the message of Grief 2 Growth. For more about Brian and Grief 2 Growth, visit www.grief2growth.com.

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