Mary D'agostino's Shared Death Experience With Her Son, Brandon EP 409

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you. Close your eyes and imagine. What are the things in life that cause us the greatest pain? The things that bring us grief are challenges, challenges designed to help us grow, to ultimately become what we were always meant to be. We feel like we've been buried. But what if, like a seed, we've been planted? And having been planted, we grow to become a mighty tree. Now, open your eyes. Open your eyes to this way of viewing life. Come with me as we explore your true, infinite, eternal nature. This is Grief to Growth. And I am your host, Brian Smith. Hi there, and welcome to Grief to Growth, where we journey together to navigate life's challenges, to understand who we are and explore where we're headed. I'm your host, Brian Smith, and whether this is your first time joining us or you're a longtime listener, I'm so glad you're here. Today's guest is Mary D'Agostino. She's a remarkable individual whose work spans the realms of intuition, spirituality, and healing. She's a professional intuitive, psychic medium, a spiritual counselor, an astrologer, an author, an artist, and a ceremonialist. She's a founder of Heart of Gaia Creative Healing Arts, a sacred space dedicated to intuitive healing, spiritual growth, and navigating life's challenges through transformative practice. So in today's episode, we're going to dive deeply into Mary's personal journey of love and of loss, including the profound grief of losing her son Brandon. Mary will share the extraordinary, extraordinary spiritual experiences that unfolded during her journey, visions, synchronicities, and even a shared death experience with her son. We'll explore how she uses these experiences to help others connect with their own inner healing and spiritual growth. Mary is also the author of 111 Days of Divine Intervention: A Mother's Healing Journey, Into the Forest: A Maiden's Journey, and she's a contributor to the Good to the Last Drop: Embracing Your Life's Third Chapter book. Through her writing and her foundation, Brandon's Angels, she provides guidance, comfort, and care for those navigating the often overwhelming terrain of grief. So some of the questions we'll explore today include: How do spiritually transformative experiences show up in our daily lives? What does it mean to meet ourselves through grief and loss? What are the messages from the other side that she's received from her son Brandon? So I invite you to stick around for what promises to be an enlightening and deeply moving conversation. And don't forget afterwards to continue the conversation in our community at grieftogrowth.com/community. So with that, I want to welcome Mary D'Agostino.

Thank you. Thank you very much for that introduction there.

Yeah, you're welcome, Mary. It's great to have you here. It's always nice to talk to a fellow Shining Light parent. And I always like to ask people who have children in spirit to start off by telling us about, about their loved ones. So tell us about Brandon.

Sure, I, I would love to. And He would love to. He was quite a gregarious young man in body, and now he is in spirit too. So Brandon was my— I have 5 children, so I'm a mom of 5, and Brandon's my youngest boy. And he was born at the tail end of my having kids, and I didn't actually think I would have anymore. And here he showed up. So he kind of lived life that way. Surprise, you know, surprise, here I am. Surprise, you're not— your life is going to go in a different direction than you thought, Mom. Even though, uh, you know, it kind of was going in, well, having children and raising children direction. But Brandon, um, came in as a surprise and continued to, uh, really be a light and a wonderful, joyful kid, high energy. And he was the one who would— his dad was kind of strict and all the other kids would be like, you know, get in line and yes, sir. And Brandon would be like, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

So that's Brandon. And he grew up to be just a beautiful young man. And but he did also carry the kind of the struggles and the pain of our family in a way. I can see it now. I saw it then, but I could see it now. As you know, he came in with a mission, he fulfilled it, and he left and passed on early. He was 24. So we got 24 years with him and he was, um, so friendly. He had lots of friends, lots of— no one, he never met anyone he didn't love, feel a connection with, um, want to help. He was a big helper. And so, um, and he had his, you know, in his own struggles, it was, it was like, oh, I'm good. I'm good. Let's go help someone else. And And so, you know, he was, yeah, again, also he really embraced spirit and his spirit, his spirit of life, his love of life, and liked to live fast. So that kind of took him out in the end because he did, he was had his dream job, his life was going great. But as a mom knows, I'm always tuned in. And I was like, okay, what's really happening here with you? And so he— it's like I can tell about his death, but I really want to talk about his life and his energy. And how all of the things that I can share, that I shared in my writings, in my book, in my sessions, and how I really want other parents who've lost children or others who are grieving, and a most devastating loss, as you know, it's one of those things that people say, oh, it's the worst thing anyone could ever go through. Yet because of my son's life and his soul and his life exuberance of life, um, I'm always brought back to that and how much he loved life and lived fully. He lived fully while he was here. And, and of course, that doesn't really— it doesn't help the grief, you know, but it does shift it always shifts my perspective. So back to how did he live, not how did he die, how did he live? And, but he did, and he, and he passed. He died in a way, in a way of how he lived. He, you know, I had a profound experience with a few days before his passing. And always, and being born intuitive and really having the opportunities in my lifetime to cultivate that, those not easy or not. I had to burst through a lot of barriers towards structures I was raised in to become more intuitive, more of myself. But that helped me be very connected with Brandon in his life and all my children, too. And be very connected through his passing and ensured that his soul was living on and that I could take that experience, too. So I had that experience through his passing, his actual physical transition of these amazing synchronicities and connections that helped me navigate the grief and the devastation of the loss. But that's how he was in life too. He was incredibly— he had a lot of challenges, as I said, and he always worked to overcome them as best as he could with such earnestness and and inclusivity too. He always included the love he has for his siblings, his friends, me, his dad, and everything he did.

So, wow, sounds like quite a kid.

I think so.

I mean, yeah. So you mentioned that he, he lived fully. It's really interesting talking to parents who have lost children, you know, young And that seems to be a common theme, that there's something special about them that we, we recognize even before we— and sometimes we get intuitions that they're not going to be here long. But there's something about, like, living life full out that seems to be very common among kids that transition early.

Yes, I found that, you know, in my, my own experience with Brandon, and then I've had the honor and experience of helping others who have children in spirit through my work. But yeah, and I think that I feel with Brandon, I wrote this too. I wrote he was an answer to my prayer at the time, actually, as I said. And so I truly believe and feel he had a mission and knew what it was. And maybe that is what it is with our children who pass early. They know they're not going to be here for long. I don't believe it's conscious because a couple of reasons. I don't think we're kind of ready to know that. And that's hard. I mean, as a parent, I had intuitions also, yet I was buffered from them, from too much knowing. And I think they are too, because that can go sideways if you knew, oh, I'm only here for so long. But I believe that's our soul knows. Our soul knows we're here for a limited time. So let's make this count. And what if we all live that way? Because we are here for a limited time.

It's very true. It's very true. We don't know how long that time is. And, um, yeah, I think there— I totally agree with you. I don't think that we know or they know on a conscious level, but there is a level, there's something in the background. And as I think back about my daughter, I can— certain clues that we got about the way that she thought about death, the way she thought about pain, the way she thought about experiences like a lot of people would think would be negative. Like she said, I remember when she was young, I'd like to break my leg and We said, Shayna, why would you want to break your leg? Because I want to know what it's like to walk on crutches. And sure enough, it wasn't that much longer later, she tore her ACL and had to have surgery, and she was walking on crutches. But she embraced stuff like that, you know. She embraced— she had a lot of medical procedures, and she went into them like with, with curiosity. So I think there's a lot of that with these kids that are just kind of like just taking it all in, just really absorbing life.

Wow, that's fascinating. And I can say Brandon was similar. He had so many accidents and medical procedures, but he was always fascinated. I remember watching him as a kid getting his shots, you know, or his— and he would be like, oh, I want to watch. You're going to take my blood? I want to look at— I would be like, oh, I can't. But he was just wanting to experience, and I do feel that's true, wanting to experience the fullness of life from the pain to the joy to the— and he did that for me, for us. It's like, okay, well, here's the depth. As I say this in my— I feel this truth from the depth of my being. Love is so connected with grief and, and pain and is connected with love. You know, it's— they're, they're together. And when you love so deeply and unconditionally a person, a child, and, and then they're gone, that pain, going through it, that devastation, that brokenness, to go through it, you— and into it is where you meet them. It's where you meet the love that is eternal and unconditional. It's in that experience. And it's seeing that people, many, many people aren't— it's dissociation and distraction and let's not feel too much pain because that hurts and we don't want to go there. But that is missing out on the juiciness of life. The real reason I feel, maybe not consciously, but unconscious. Well, we know at a point, I believe we know before we come what we're going to— we have an idea we're going to do this, that we have a little plan in place. But we, we, we don't realize that to live fully is really the point.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah. To experience it all.

Yeah.

Even the stuff that we, that we don't think we like while we're here. The soul has that curiosity that our kids had. The soul was like, I want to, I want to go through this. I want to experience, you know, all of it. Because that's, that's where we grow. You mentioned earlier that you were— sounds like you've always been intuitive. But maybe some of that was held back when you were young because of the circumstances you were in. Stay with us.

We'll be right back.

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Yeah, you know, so I was born into a, um, I was the oldest of 8 kids and in the, and like a typical, air quote, typical, uh, middle class family in the '60s. And, and, um, but I kind, I always felt thing, I always could feel, um And I think this was part of my protection too back then. It was volatile and lots of emotional disruptions and emotional issues that were never dealt with with my parents. And so I would feel them all and know how to respond or react. But I would also feel— I felt very early on the protection and of angels. And so I was raised in a religion of Catholicism. And so we were taught certain things, right? Of, okay, this is who God is, this is what— and angels were part of it. But though when I— I don't even remember learning about angels. I just knew they were with me all the time and I could call on them and they were very real. And then the trees and the and the fields by where we lived, and I could go there and I could feel connected. And so I know now that was my intuition, my senses, my full embodied senses. But I didn't tell anybody about that. And I also knew in my religion, which I feel was my first kind of spiritually, I don't know, transformative. But I remember being in Catholic school and we were learning about God. And God was this really scary, mean man who lived in the sky. And he had kind of long gray hair like me now. Right. You know that God. And it was thou shalt not. And it was like those overhead projectors where, you know, I don't know, just It just was like I looked at that and I was about 9 and I was in my classroom with all my peers and I was like, no, that's not God. And I just knew. And that was in that knowing. And I also knew, don't tell anybody because no reason to, Mary, just don't. And I wasn't scared not to tell anybody, but I felt like I've I knew the secret, you know, that that's not really God. And by the way, that's really not even the God they're teaching me. Because on the other hand, they were teaching about Jesus and love and kindness and loving. We're all children of God. And so I was like, yeah, that feels more right to me. So, you know, and I think—

go ahead. I could never square that circle. I could never figure out how God was so angry. And I don't know why he was so angry, but Jesus was so loving. So I loved Jesus. But I did, you know, God was like, yeah, I don't, I don't need that. You know, that was a very scary thing to me too.

Yeah. And, and that little— I love how our soul does that, you know, our spirits like, yeah, no, probably not. So you might fight with that for a while, because I see it collectively. We can see, and I think that my son and most likely your daughter were part of this too, collectively, of this shift of people. It's time that we really break free from these confines that aren't helpful. Are not really helping us become loving or compassionate, more loving, more compassionate, more inclusive and generous with our lives as God. So as Jesus, as kind of that whole idea was originally. Was loving each other and helping each other and being kind. And so anyway, yeah, so I had to break through. I had to be quiet, and then I had to follow all the rules. And I was a very good rule follower. I'm still having trouble with that. Which rule are you following here, Mary? But it kind of, over the years, really broke free. I broke free from so many rules because I had to. They were hurting me and oppressing and suppressing my soul, my being, and hurting, really hurting, hurtful. And Brandon did a lot of that rejecting. Like I said jokingly, he would never fall in line with his kind of controlling father or anyone else that was trying to tell him what to do. That was not true to what his soul knew was, was loving or compassionate.

Right? Right. So you mentioned you were, you were intuitive, and you said maybe you had some inklings that he was going to transition early, but maybe you were shielded from that a little bit.

Yeah, so, so Brandon, when he was about 14, so 10 years before he transitioned, he started to dabble in drugs and do the, you know, do some things that were kind of, you know, as I said, he pushed the limit. Let me try this. Let me see what it might be. And then they would come home and tell me, like, hey, Mom, I tried this drug and I had the craziest experience. And then I would have to appreciate that he told me, but then, you know, discipline, reprimand, whatever, you know. But anyway, so he pushed my limit quite a bit and he got in some trouble. And so I just really brought— I just called in the big guns, meaning the angels, the archangels, the— and he knew about all that, and he had— he loved connecting with his angels and spirit guides and helpers. And so there was one point at one— well, there was a couple of times that I had this dream. And this was probably a year or two, I can't remember exactly, before I had a dream that he got into a black sports car and he wasn't driving, but it was, uh, someone else was driving. And I knew it was a drug dealer, and he got into the back of the car and he drove away and he, and in my dream, I knew he died. And I thought, okay, well, when I woke up, it was like, all right, well, I'm going to do everything I can to support him in his, you know, sobriety and all that. And, and so, and I also had a dream that his dad called me on the phone to tell me something like that. And so I pushed that aside and then just kept doing everything to help him. And then about a year before he passed, he had a very bad experience. And I call it his near-death experience. And he had a bad experience when he took some drugs and he, he was nowhere to be found, nowhere to be found. And I used all my intuition and my guidance and I, I got connected with, um, a nurse, a psychiatric nurse who was a friend of mine. And she helped me and guided me. And it was like everything just fell into place. We couldn't find Brandon. We didn't know where he, he was off somewhere. Nobody knew. And he came, he showed up at my house. After we had been praying and searching and everything for a week, he showed up and I took him to the hospital and he got the help he needed. It was just one miracle and using my intuition after another. And then, but then a year and a half later, he's doing so well. So I thought that was it. Like, I, I, I went through the you know, my— that was all— that wasn't going to happen. And but as I explain in my— I wrote it in my book, and I wrote it because so that I would have it written in a place where, you know, it's to share with others these incredible synchronicities and divine interventions that happen all the time. This was quite profound because it had to do with my son and his death and his life. And, but, um, 2 days before he passed, I had the vision of me and, and the numbers 111 and going through this meditation and portal that was, that I would, it would be very difficult, but I could go through it.. And still, again, I didn't connect it with Brandon, really. So while I was preparing, and I feel that the divine, my soul, the life force energy, the source energy was preparing me on a level every step of the way to be able to have those parts of me activated enough so that I could find what I needed, know where to turn, know everything was ultimately going to be okay.

Sure.

And I know that's the depth of what I know. It's like everything, all in all, of course it's not. When you're in the pain of it or the, you know, but it ultimately, I believe this and I've lived it. Um, and Brandon proves it. And I know you share so much of this that ultimately the universe has our backs. And when we have to experience these difficult, challenging things, there are also all all these pieces that come together to help us.

Yeah, yeah, I definitely believe that. That's been my experience. It's totally the opposite of what I believed before, but it's what I've come to understand.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Because the universe, even though I was taught about God and everything, still God was scary. And again, one hand they'd say God's got your back, but on the other hand, I saw what God did to a lot of people in the Bible. It's like, it doesn't seem to really have a lot of people's backs. Um, so yeah, it's— but it's an understanding I think we come to as we go through and learn to trust in that, that process. So, um, you had some slight intuition that Brandon was going to pass, but then you said you had a shared death experience when he actually did pass. So what was that like?

Yeah, it took me a while to understand, to be able to name it, you know. And when I heard shared death a while after I went, well, that feels accurate. But what that was, because I was, um, very connected with him, you know, and open, and, and my intuition was, uh, intuition and using all of our senses is, I feel it's like a muscle. You build it, you know. You practice, you build it just like our connection, our meditation or other tools. So I had built it enough apparently. And was— so 2 days before he passed, I did a meditation. And so the number 111 is profound in my experience. And for no other reason than that was the number. You know, it's interesting. It's like, what does it mean? It meant, for me, it meant pay attention. There's, it's, you're going through this portal and it's a portal. It's an opening. It's an awareness. It's a place. It's a tunnel. It's all of that. So before, 2 days before, I personally was, I was gifted a meditation, a guided meditation, audio. And I said, okay, I'll listen. And I did. And in that meditation, again, as I was a little alluded to it earlier, I was being pushed through this portal. It was called the 111 meditation with Archangels. So I was pushed through it and I felt angels on either side and very like, okay, it's going to be okay. But this is really a tight squeeze and didn't feel good. But it was like, I'm in a meditation. All right. And so I got the message to just keep looking straight ahead and keep going through this and everything was going to be okay. But I had to really be discerning and, and stay with the path, right? Of in between these, stay in between these columns of light and I'd be okay. So 2 days later, it was January 13th. Um, and it was a Friday the 13th. Which is actually for me a lucky day because my firstborn was born on a, on the 13th of November. So it became a lucky number. And later I learned that it's actually a goddess number. It's a good number. It's a wonderful number. So it was Friday the 13th and I was in my, in this room that I'm sitting in now in a session with two clients. They were a husband and wife who I had known and seen a few times before that. And in our work together, I was able— it was quite amazing. I was able to connect with his father who was deceased, but he didn't know. He had been put up for adoption as an infant. And he came to me, I think, for another reason. And throughout the prior year or so, I said, I see a man coming through and he's, oh, that's my dad. Well, through our connection from the realms of spirit, he was able to connect with his family of his deceased dad who passed in Vietnam. Anyway, so it was quite profound. So here he was back with his wife having a session. And in the session, I saw this vision that came through that had nothing to do with the couple. And I have permission to talk about this. So they gave me permission to share this. And in the vision, I saw a goddess in the sky, a big— she looked like an angel goddess, all I can describe. And she was taking stars out of the sky and the dark night sky and placing them on the Earth. And then she was taking the stars off the Earth and putting them back in the sky. And in my vision, I was like, oh my gosh, that's like life and death. That's like the Great Mother Goddess. And so I shared it with my clients and we were all like, wow, that's really amazing. But I knew and they knew it wasn't for them. I was like, Okay, well, we just got a glimpse of the Great Mother Goddess. Wow, isn't that fascinating? It must have some meaning, right? So they laughed and I did, you know, I went to do my Friday evening sleeping and relaxing. But before I went to sleep, I looked at my phone that night and I looked at, I saw a picture of my son Brandon at his previous birthday, a few months earlier. And it was just this beautiful picture with him, with all his cake and all these lights. And he was smiling. And I felt the deepest peace when I looked at that picture. And then I went to bed and it was— I didn't find out. I can tell that part. But when I had that vision, it was the exact time he was transitioning. He was 70 miles away in, uh, the city, and he had taken a car. He worked for a car dealership. He had his dream job, lived in a new apartment in Parker, by the way. Oh wow. Yeah, and, uh, he was test driving a brand new Maserati And it was a dark, small sports car. It wasn't black, it was blue. Oh, and by the way, his car that he drove all the time was a black BMW that always needed fixing. And so I thought when I had that previous vision that it was that car he would get into. So anyway, he had taken that evening, Friday the 13th, at around 7:30 He took the car out and he was driving it down a road that they always would, the kid, the, the, his colleagues would take the cars out. It was dark road. Um, and there was a curve and he actually, we know this, I know this because at that exact time he was filming himself live. On, uh, social media. And so there is a snippet of him. He filmed his speedometer going from 0 to 111, 111, and then nothing. So it's about a 14-second video that he was filming at the same time I was having that the vision of the goddess. And also, we, we, he was, his car went out of control after the, the fast speed turning, the 111 miles an hour. And he lost control and he flew and landed upside down in a very small retention pond. Um, and so when they look— went to look for him, which happened without me knowing, I went to sleep. And I feel that, and I know this because he shared it with me about a month later in, in a in an intuitive connection with him, I was with him, like I was ushering him through the portal. And I do know about that in my practice, in my learning, in my spiritual awakening and all that. It's what people do for others, right? They help them go to the other side. And that is what I was doing that evening. So we were sharing the experience. And the reason I do know that— so it wasn't just to wrap that up. Nobody could find him until the next morning. Because it was so dark, The car was upside down and it was completely demolished. And, um, he— well, when we went to look for him, or when we found out, you know, Brandon's missing that morning, uh, by the way, his girlfriend called me many, many times throughout the night. I got none of those. No, I got none of the messages. They never— none of them came through. She— well, she texted me, where's Brandon? Is he there? We can't find him. None of them came through until she called me the next morning to ask. And so I feel that again was another divine, like, nobody bother me and Brandon, where he's transitioning and I'm helping him. I'm with him. I'm comforting him. I'm whatever I was doing, because I felt so in the zone, I call it, or in the channel, as a soul, as a spirit. But then my mom sense kicked in, too, and I was quite like, where is he? I don't know. Let's find him. Oh, my God. And during that, time when everybody was looking for him, I did tune in. I said, Brandon, where are you? Where are you? And I could— I saw his face, and it was surrounded by this shiny light, and it looked like water. I didn't know he was in actually in some water, but— and he said, I'm okay. I'm okay, Mom.

I'm okay.

And that would be what he always would say, even if he wasn't. But, um, and then, then, um, Yeah. And then he was found and the terrible what we had to go through. But I was being protected even then. I felt so like I was in this bubble of protection that there was this profound spiritual connection that no one and nothing could, um, break, or it was protecting me, right? Um, yeah, right.

Wow. Well, you mentioned Parker, and so people might be thinking, why, why was that a big deal? But I've only been to Colorado once, and when I was in Colorado, I happened to be in Parker. Um, and January 13th also happens to be my daughter's birthday. Um, so when I was reading your book, I was like, okay, well, that was, that was an interesting coincidence or synchronicity. So, um, yeah, that— I, I'm again so sorry for your, for your loss, you know, of him in the physical, but it's amazing that the connection that you have with him and, and the experience that you had. So thank you for, for sharing that, um, because there does seem to be Again, when we look back on it, we can get some indications and stuff. I think your vision is really interesting too, about the, the goddess, you know, putting the stars on the earth and taking the stars off the earth. Because, you know, we think we have so much control over our lives, and we might think, oh, I could, I could have stopped this, or he could have stopped there. So what if he hadn't just done this? And I, I truly believe it's when it's our time to go, it's, it's our time to go, and it's just a matter of how. So if it hadn't been that way, it would have been another way, is what my belief is.

Yes, I agree. I think I have heard people say we have different exit points. And I think that, well, when I look at Brandon's life, I can see that. Like I was talking about how he almost had a near-death But he had several near misses. He was very daring. He did a lot of skateboarding and a lot of snowboarding and a lot of this and that. So I do think, I do think we have a few where we might leave, but it really isn't. Yeah, when it's our time, it's our time. And it and and it happens. But I also feel that it is— I don't know if this is— I feel comforted to know that we can't doubt that there's something bigger, right? Like the goddess in the sky that is like, don't worry, we've been doing this for eons. We'll be back. Or you, you know, what a great life you had and now you're gonna, you know, have your next adventure in the in-between world and you're gonna come back. And in the meantime though, you know, we are left with our— I do wanna say, I know without a doubt there was nothing I could have done to stop it. Stop it. And even— and that leads me to a month later, I was out walking, and I walk all the time too. It's a spiritual practice, really. And every time I'd go to that question, how could I have stopped this? And what if? Or I would feel that truth of, no, it's bigger than that. So what do I need to help me understand that? And I also would wonder, even though I knew, because I had a lot of divine interventions with this, too, that he did not suffer. That's another thing that us parents who lose children are like, did they suffer? And what did they feel? Because we're supposed to take care of them and protect them from everything. And so, of course, we're going to not want that. But every time I'd felt that, I would— he apparently died instantly. That's what the report said. So I was glad to know that. But then there were some other things that I was like, wait, if he did. But anyway, so fast forward about a month later, I'm out walking and I'm just doing my best to keep my body bit moving. And be out in nature, and I could feel his presence. And I hear him talking, like, as a conversation in my mind a lot. And I know that is something that I will tell people over and over again, that you can have conversations and believe that when you hear what they're saying, what you think they're saying, it's most likely what they're saying. And it might be in your own voice, or it might be in theirs. It doesn't matter. But to trust that. And so I'm out walking and I say, I hear him say, hey, Mom, you want to know what happened when I died? And I was like, yes. I say, yes, please tell me. But I said, but don't, I don't want to know anything scary. And again, I was, and he goes, no, no. And I said, wait, I'm going to go home and I'm going to write this down. So I went home, I opened my journal, And I started to write, uh, what I was hearing. And, um, again, another practice that I've done for years is journaling. And, uh, I also facilitate a lot of journaling to connect us with our soul, our inner self. So, um, this is what he said it was like. So this is where I know I was with him. And if I'm just going to— it's short. I'll read a little bit. But the message is beautiful. And I think it's what each parent, each person who has lost a loved one needs to know beyond a doubt, that our love is eternal. It's strong. It's not poof. It's substantial. It's, it's an essence. So I said, he, he said, okay, here's what he said. So here's how it went, mom. I was driving along and along came this giant angel. She snatched me right out of that car. She lifted me up and she held me in her arms. And I thought it was you, mom. She looked like you. She smelled like you. And she felt like you, like I was going home. And she held me and we watched the car just for a moment, and then she took me somewhere. She held me and told me how much she loved me. I thought, I still thought it was you, Mom, and I think it was you. I felt the connection like when you love me, and that love goes on and on. She was your love and my love and all the love I ever felt. And all the love I ever gave. I felt this warm glow. And then it's, well, it's where I've been returning to over and over. He said, I remove myself from it and I visit places and then I return to the love, but I really can't ever leave it. It was all a part of the plan to light up this love again in our family, to make that the love, the strongest. It's more like remembrance. We forgot, but you didn't forget, Mom. You never forgot love. You fed me love, Mom. So much love.

Yeah, that's awesome. And I want to say to people who are listening that— and I'm glad that you read that because I've seen some of my parents, their minds go to the worst place. Um, but I remember listening to Dr. Mary Neal at the Helping Parents Heal conference, and even before I heard her for years ago, and she drowned. And a lot of people said drowning would be the worst way to go. And she, even though she loved the water, she always said that would be the worst way to go. But when she describes her drowning, she says it was very peaceful. She said that was a, that was a great way to go. And I've heard other people that have been killed in various ways, um, ways that we would think would be horrific, and these people seem to leave their bodies before we would— before we would see them in pain. And even people who seem to be suffering that are unconscious in the hospital, that are moaning and groaning, uh, will report after they've passed that they weren't in there when that was happening. It was just their bodies going through that reaction. So if you— I take comfort in what your experience was, but I would say for anybody else, if you're imagining that your loved one suffered, um, I don't believe that's the case.

I agree, Brian. I so agree with that. You know, in the, um, in the readings that I've been able to do with others who've lost loved ones, I have never ever known any spirit to come, loved one to come and say that they remembered the suffering, or they don't. It's, it's gone. And I've had my own experience with, with that years before Brandon passed, about understanding that our soul, our spirit, kind of, it leaves our body before we— and we never remember that. It's never— it's not something taken with us. Um, and you know, I, I'm gonna say that this is interesting because this is such a— every time I do any of these promoting or whatever we want to call it, sharing, because I wrote a book and I'm like, really? It is my heart of heart. It's my soul. It's everything. It's my grief. It's all of it. But I really want others to know that their loved ones did not suffer, that there is so much more that has occurred, that has happened. And if you can take a piece of this and use it to help yourself, then do it. And that's why I wrote it. It's not— and but my own. So my son, when I did not know this, he— the cause of death that they said was drowning. And even though I was told when he— so what you just said, even that, that just gave me more comfort. Yeah, because when that— he also had a fear of that. And so I kind of think he kind of— I don't know, but he was in the car and it was in such a small amount of water. And right away they told me, I don't know, gave me comfort for a little while. But he was in his seat and he was upright and he wasn't in the water. And I was like, oh, okay, that's good. Because the thing was, if we could have gotten there sooner, if somebody saw it, he could have been saved. But he couldn't have. No way. There's no way. So anyway, all of that wraps around the truth that our loved ones are not— they don't suffer. They are taken right out there. I knew what he said, too, because he would come in the house, my house, and be like, I'm home. And I would hug him and he would give me good hugs. And then he'd go see what was in the refrigerator that he could eat. So he spoke those words like, you fed me love. Yeah, really amazing.

Yeah, that's awesome. So you, you had these intuitive abilities before he transitioned. Were you doing this work before he transitioned, or did that start after?

I was doing this work mostly with, um, intuitive counseling, intuitive soul coaching for— since, you know, since about 2004. I started, uh, doing Reiki and learning Reiki, and it all felt so natural to me. So everything just kind of built upon itself. The Reiki helped me understand how I, I could, I was reading people's energy. So I did a lot of Reiki, intuitive coaching, intuitive psychic, psychic, mostly helping people, a lot of helping people through transitions and change. And I always had, could see and feel and sense people's loved ones in spirit. And they would pop in. So it wasn't like I would say, okay, we're only going to do mediumship. But they would def— if needed, if the message they had for their loved one while I was doing Reiki or I was doing an intuitive session, they would pop in. So the mediumship— and so I now do more mediumship, and I also do it I do a little different things. I do, like, love notes from your loved one in spirit, because my channeling has always been— I write and channel. So I write and channel. I channel and write and channel and speak. So I do some of that. But, yeah, so now I do even more because Brandon brings me all these people, and he connected me with Helping Parents Heal. He connected me with this amazing synchronicities of young men in spirit that these people just come to me through all different places, not just through Helping Parents Heal, but through my community. And I see them and I feel them. And they're not all just young men, but a lot of them are young, like teens to maybe 30-year-olds that I feel like they're in a club. And it's kind of like, because Brandon was like that in life, he had lots and lots of friends and everybody was invited. And he always— so I connect with them and they bring their moms and dads to me and I'm like, okay, I'm glad to help.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, so you mentioned a couple of the services you offer to people. What else do you do and how do people, how do people reach you?

Sure. Yeah. So I do the intuitive readings and mediumship and I do soul coaching. I also do astrology because I love— I do intuitive astrology. So I'm I'm very connected to the energy of the moon and the phases. And I think it has a lot to do right now with how we're evolving and opening to our connection with the Earth and our connection with each other and our connection with the higher mind and the one heart. So astrology readings, and they're always attuned to healing, growth, simple, easy understanding of what is an astrology. I feel an astrology birth chart is a blueprint for your soul.

Okay.

And that's how I read them and help people. I do journaling, different things with journaling. And what else do I do? All of it is just woven into helping people connect and know who they are. Remember, like Brandon said, you remembered love, but we forgot. And it's like, remember who you are. You are pure spirit and you're having a human experience. And how do you live practically? Because I'm very practical and grounded in everything I do, too, believe it or not. Like, this means nothing if it can't help you on your human journey, right, to heal and evolve and grow. So that's what I do. And I still do Reiki, and I teach Reiki, all the levels, because, again, I want everyone to take little steps, big steps in awakening their higher self, their wisdom, their inner knowing, and remember how powerful we are as beings of love, beings that came here to help transform this planet. And goddess knows we need it right now. So I do that. That's what I do.

Yeah. So if you could get one message to people that are listening today, what's the most important thing to take away from our conversation?

I feel that Um, right now what's coming through is that it's so important right now to be very, very kind and gentle with yourself. Um, through all the things that you're being given to, uh, face, deal with, um, look at, walk through, it, it matters so much that you can apply as much self-love as possible. And if you don't know what that is or can't get to it, reach out because there are others to help you connect with. Just one person with you, Brian D Smith, all of your offerings with me, with whoever. But be kind and gentle because we're— and compassionate. Compassion is so important for self. First so that we can— because it's hard, it's rough. It's like there's lots and lots of changes happening.

I love that. Thank you for sharing that. You know, it's really important. I think, you know, again, we were taught— I was taught when I was a kid, you know, um, to love others before you love yourself. You know, we were taught— there was an acronym that we were taught in Sunday school: Jesus, Others, and You. So you love Jesus first, then others, and then yourself. Um, but what, what I've learned lately is that when Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself, that implies loving yourself first. You have to love yourself before you can love your neighbor as yourself. And that's, I think, what's missing for a lot of people, because as we, as, as you said, as Brandon said, we have to remember who we are. And if we remember who we are, remember why we're here, that's, that's the, that's the key to getting through this with this as little pain as possible.

Yes. And I feel like things are happening exponentially with that, with the love. Like, if you just apply a little bit and shift a little, like, you're learning, wait, Jesus said that. But yeah, and a lot of people follow that. It's like, but how do I love myself? How do I do that? And just a little bit of that grows so huge so quickly and will guide you, guide you through.

Yeah, absolutely. So, Mary, remind people where they can reach you and remind people about the name of your book.

Sure. Okay. So I have a website and all my varied, wonderful things that I do, and it's my name. So it's MaryDagostino.com. And my book, my latest book about Brandon, and all the proceeds— I'm— I have a foundation to help anyone who needs a bit of care package if they're going through grief. If you know of anyone, send them to me. Um, and it's, uh, the book is 111 Days of Divine Intervention: A Mother's Healing Journey.

Yeah, it's awesome, and thanks for sharing that with us today. So, Mary, uh, It was good to sit down with you and have this conversation. Um, thanks for being here. Enjoy the rest of your day.

Thank you. You too, Brian. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you, everyone.

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