Sarah Brassard Special Announcement on Trauma Recovery

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Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian D Smith says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

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Hey everybody, this is Brian back with another episode of Grief to Growth. And today I've got with me Sarah Brassard. She's been with us once before, but I wanted to bring her back. So we've got a very special special announcement we're going to be talking about today. So I'll introduce Sarah, and then we'll talk about what the announcement is that we have to give you. She's the author of Inside: A Guide to the Resources Within. She's a 30-plus year spiritual teacher. She's a trauma worker, and she's a life coach. She runs an online community called the Tribe Inside, which is a mastermind group— oh, a mastermind group called the Inner Circle— and a 9-month intensive group coaching to help women heal and grow through hardships. She also hosts the annual Trauma Recovery Summit featuring diverse voices of authors, coaches, healers, and psychologists providing healing wisdom and tools to people from all walks of life. And we're going to be talking a lot more about that in a few minutes. So with that, I want to introduce Sarah Broussard.

Hi, Brian D Smith. So nice to be with you today.

Hi, Sarah. It's good to see you again. Um, I just read your intro and told people a little bit about yourself, but I'm curious How did you get in the work of doing trauma recovery?

Well, I would say it's through healing myself, truthfully. Uh, I got to a point in my life early on, um, after the loss of my mother— she left our family at 13, and my father died when I was 16— so a life that seemed like it was clipping along pretty beautifully all of a sudden wasn't. And, um, as someone that addresses life with a lot of sensitivity, I found myself floundering, um, in a way that was affecting me at all levels—physically, emotionally, mentally, and ultimately spiritually. What that meant for my life was that there was so much shame associated with the loss of my parents that at that young age, I did everything I could to not let anybody see that loss or that abandonment. I really, I would say, just sort of put this facade on, put this, uh, created this life around me that felt pretty, uh, secure, truthfully, uh, in that time. And it was the best I really could do, is how I survived. But after about 10 or 15 years of just locking people out and making things look as pristine as I thought they possibly could, things started to break down. And for me, it really happened at a physical level. I think we all experience these traumas in different ways, don't we? For me, it was a physical breakdown. So there was bronchial pneumonia. I had shingles at a very young age. And all these physical aspects were just so overwhelming that it was really hard to carry on. And ultimately, that is what drew me to the work. I, I remember having this awakening, if you will, that was drawing in all of these really vulnerable, scary situations. It could be different people, it could be different events, but there was one common denominator to that experience, and it was me. And they just would keep coming until one day I remember just feeling like, wow, I just, I can't go on. I've got to figure out what I'm doing to draw this in. I didn't even have that level of understanding. Of course, as spiritual teachers, we know that, right? That we, that we draw this kind of energy to us to ultimately learn and move through it. But I didn't know that at the time. All I knew was that I was just at the end of my rope. With the same experiences or the same types of people that were just bringing so much sadness and suffering to me. And really what I realized was it wasn't about them at all or the circumstances. It was really just about me. So that guided me inside, you know, and ultimately took me on the path I'm on. Yeah.

One thing I do want to go back to what you said earlier about, you know, the loss of your parents. You talked about shame around that. So tell me more about the shame.

Yeah, I think one of the things that I've realized is that when we experience trauma, we can experience trauma. And I call them the original wounds between 0 and 7, or generously between 0 and 14. And that if there isn't a way, like our young brains— I'll just use myself as an example. My young brain really couldn't process the fact that my mom had made a decision to leave our family because of whatever insecurities she was realizing at that time, or even the loss of my dad. I mean, it's not like, you know, he had it— he could have done anything about his death. He died of leukemia. But still, it felt like I wasn't worth staying for. So, so I adopted the shame because my young brain, my young mind really couldn't imagine or think beyond that, couldn't really make any sense of what was going on. It was just they were here and now they're not. And that felt pretty devastating.

Yeah, I think I wanted to emphasize that point because I think that's really important for people to understand, especially for children. And it happens to adults too, right? We blame ourselves on other people whenever people die or when other people leave. But especially for children, that we— children internalize that. So as parents, if we're around children that are going through that, we need to be sensitive to the fact that they think everything's their fault. If their parents get divorced, it's their fault. If their father or their mother dies, it's somehow their fault.

It's so true, Brian. It's so true. And, you know, I, I think it's, it's an interesting thing in my healing, you know, we continue to heal, don't we? We're on a path of healing, and this is a lifelong path of healing. But what is revealed to me the more I move into my practice, the more committed, the more consistent I become. I have reconnected with that young person myself. And this— the amount of empathy and compassion that I have for that person, that young girl that lost everything, wasn't available to me when I was experiencing that loss, right? I mean, you're in survival mode. You're in survival mode. And, and so I just want to really sort of hold that up for people because oftentimes we think, my God, when is— when are there going to be results? When is this going to be over? When is this healing going to be over? And, and I think the more that we can adopt this understanding that this is a lifelong course of action and then it gets sweeter and sweeter and sweeter, the more we dedicate ourselves to it. That we start to have this relationship with possibly this lost side of ourselves that experienced that trauma so long ago.

Yeah, I, you know, I did some, some work like that when I was in therapy, 30, 20, 30 years ago, I guess. And I remember my counselor talking about this inner child thing. And for me, I was like, yeah, what does this even mean? What's an inner child? You know? And I realize now, 20 years later, we always carry that inner child with it, that that child goes along with us as, as we're adults and even old people. And you're right, those wounds, while we can work on them, they still—

they're still there. Yes, yes. And don't we know them? You know, I always say they're built into the— or woven into the fabric of our life, right? You know, it was written this way. We came in to hold these lessons, and we will leave with them too. And What I've noticed in my own life is that when I'm in a weakened state or when I'm overwhelmed or when I'm anxious, that they come back up rapidly, that these triggers, these insecurities, these vulnerabilities, these shameful thoughts creep back in. And now, you know, as a seasoned practitioner, I'll go, oh, there you are. Okay. Yes. What do I need to do now? Because this doesn't feel good, but I understand that this isn't really what's going on. This is just an indication, a red flag that says, hey, Sarah, get some self-care in place, girl, because this doesn't feel great.

Yeah, it's really good to get to that point. So let's talk about your healing journey. What were some of the first modalities that you tried when you get to this point of where it's like, what's work? What I'm doing is not working. So what did you try first?

Yeah. Well, I think it's worth speaking about my first career. So my first career was that I opened a women's clothing store when I was 21 years old. And I did very well by it. You know, it was a boutique and it had all sorts of wonderful things. And I loved it. But it really indicated where I was in my life to me. You know, that I was in a place of wanting things to look beautiful on the outside, you know, uh, how she dresses, how she looks, present in a certain way. And after 10 years of doing that, I, I rapidly realized that, uh, that wasn't going to take me any further. And it was kind of this trajectory to where I eventually went. And my first Uh, the first direction I went was, as I said, my body was breaking down, so I became a massage therapist and entered a 2-year certification program. And it was an intense reality, you know. I had incredible teachers that started to teach me that, wow, uh, first and foremost, everything is connected. No element, as I call it in my book, is separate than the other. So the physical isn't separate than the mental, the mental isn't separate than the emotional. And, and that for me, I mean, even the cadaver work we did in that program was phenomenal. Because, I mean, just working with physical touch on a, on a human, that's somebody that's alive, so very different than when you're actually touching a structure that is no longer here. And learning about the physicality. And I remember something that was so fascinating. We had done a cleanse at one point, and they had you working with people prior to the cleanse and then working with people after the cleanse. And the difference in the tissue really started to initiate this understanding for me that, my God, it's the food we eat, it's the thoughts we we digest, it's the emotions we hold on to, that this incredible vessel that we move around in is so intertwined with all of it. So that really is where I started. Uh, I then went into, um, a Kundalini yoga program that I did in 2004. Kundalini taught me discipline. It was an incredible opportunity to get out of my comfort zone because I, I did it at an ashram, so it was very different. I mean, you know, their kind, their disciplines and the way they work, and, you know, waking up for sadhana at 4:30 in the morning, um, just all of this extraordinary learning, uh, taught me how I could really be proactive in my healing. And alongside what I'd learned with massage therapy, uh, it just got deeper and more profound and more interesting to me. You know, it just was— I felt like, wow, I really have the power to heal myself. And I, I gotta tell you, Brian D Smith, I, I had never felt that before. Um, from there I went into seminary. I went into a seminary program, an interfaith seminary program, and, and I call that kind of my graduate school because that just weaved in all the religions and it was more universal. And I, uh, I just, um, I don't know, I, I am just on a path of learning that has just guided me to such extraordinary teachers and colleagues and clients. And I, I feel truly blessed by, by the track of, of, um, learning that I've been able to, to accomplish.

Yeah, it sounds like an incredibly well-rounded learning experience. The one thing I find really interesting, because I talk to a lot of people that are healers and people that are mediums and stuff So many people started in massage, and I think a lot of us think of massage just like, oh, you're just rubbing the body. And we don't really make that connection that people know that get into massage therapy. I don't know if they know that going in or if they find out once they get into the massage therapy that when you're in a room with somebody and you're making that connection, it's more than just physical. Yes, it is.

Yes, it is. It's a very important thing to do. And it was a great foundational practice for me because one of the things that I was taught was the sensitivity scale. And, you know, a massage therapist's hands are so intuitive, so you can go and address a body, but without communication and without ethics and understanding around how to interact with trauma in the body, you can put people in, in jeopardy. So one of the things that we were taught was the sensitivity scale. So when you're addressing a certain area, you intuitively know that there's something going on there. So you ask them, you will ask your client, what kind of sensitivity are you feeling here? Typically, they're not feeling a lot. So you can feel that and it's hard as a rock. They're not feeling much at all. So as a therapist, if I just say, oh, there's something, I got to address it, and I just go in, it can throw people into an emotional state. Who knows where trauma landed in their body, right? Who knows? So when you really create a relationship with your client and have this ability to see how their sensitivities feel in their body and make them feel as safe and comfortable as you possibly can, typically it's not in just one session, right? You have clients for long periods of time. It's the proverbial peeling the onion, you know, you just work with them. It's like therapy in many ways, but in a whole different way that you're just, you're working with their trust, you're working with their safety, you're working with their, with their being, with their humanity. And that takes a lot of time and a lot of respect.

Yeah, it sounds— it's, it's amazing, um, again, the things that we learned and the different— the most— I'm always fascinated to talk to people about different modalities and what things you, you've got to bring you to where you are and how, and how you weave those together into your now unique offering that, that Sarah Brassard offers.

Stay with us. We'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief? Most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up. So you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper. Thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it: the community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing— listening, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth.

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Yeah, thank you for that. It's very kind of you. I I feel really it's the way, if my, it's the way my book, it's the way I set up my book is that, you know, I really wanted people not so much to be directed towards any specific spiritual track, but how do you get into a practice? How do you get, how do you stay consistent? How do you start to realize and experience, not because I'm telling you about that experience, not because Brian's telling you about that experience, but because you are actually experiencing it yourself. And I think once that happens, we know that, Brian, as practitioners, you and I. But once that starts happening, and it happens pretty rapidly, truthfully, in the beginning, when you have consistent practice that you're doing, what ends up happening is that there's just— I, I explain it as it's almost like there's room made in my, in my brain. I'm making space. I'm— I have room that I didn't have before I was doing this because I always say trauma takes up a lot of space in your head, in your mind.

Yeah. Well, you know, it's interesting that you talked earlier because we started talking about trauma in the body. And again, there's another thing I think that people— at least I didn't understand for a very a long time is that the trauma does live in the body, and it can manifest in so many different ways. And we think, oh, I'm just sick, oh, I've just got bronchitis, or I've just got this, this ache or this pain. And a lot of time it's, it's a reaction to trauma, and we have to, we have to address the body as well as the mind and the spirit. And we can— it's really, you know, like a three-legged stool, I guess, we have to address.

That's right. That's right.

So how does the book help people get into a practice?

Well, we really just take it right from the beginning. I mean, you know, I like to give people a little bit of an understanding of my story. I don't dwell a lot on my story because, you know, truthfully, it's— it was just one of those foundational blocks that I had that allowed me to move in the direction I have with my life. So I'd like to bring up certain points around creating what I call the observer or the witness consciousness that we start to get into relationship through meditation practices, reflective practices, whatever it is that you decide. You know, meditation is a loaded word, right? People don't always know how to deal with meditation. I like to say, what are you doing that guides you towards yourself? Every day? And how can you do more of that? How can you do that really, really consistently? Because that's what it takes, is taking our attention from the outward activities of our life inside. So just like you said, Brian D Smith, noticing, wow, I have a stomachache every time I meet that person or I go to do this certain activity. My belly is so tight. Now, we could just ignore that and go, oh, there's no relationship between that person and my belly. Or we could start to say, wow, interesting. Happened last time, happened again. There could be a relationship here. And I think that that is a beautiful example of what we call the witness consciousness or the observer. That's also what people like— well, I want to say you, because I'm sure you're doing this kind of work too, Brian D Smith. That's what I do with clients until they've actually created that ability to observe themselves from the outside in. I help facilitate that. So I'm asking those kinds of questions, right? Could there be any relationship between that person and that bellyache? You know, so in my book, I really just try to guide people to the experience is what I'd say.

Yeah, I'm conscious of the fact that we're using words that intimidate a lot of people, you know, sure. Meditation, I always hesitate to use meditation, people say I can't sit for 30 minutes and just do nothing. Or we use the word practice, that sounds like work. So how do you help people overcome that hurdle? Well, that's—

well, let me address the meditation piece first. The meditation piece is— if we could just take that word away for right now and just again, let's talk about it being self-care or anything that we can do. Hey, let's just say it's a beautiful time of year, right? Let's just Just say that I walk out of my office and there's a gorgeous hydrangea right there, and I see hummingbirds, and there's something enlivened in me by that experience. Or I see my daughter, who I haven't seen in 3 months, walk up the sidewalk, and there's just joy in my heart. These are the kinds of experiences that we want to do more of. What is it that's enlivening your heart?? And can you pay attention to that? Can you stay with that? And that, I believe, is self-care. That is caring enough about what enlivens my spirit to want to go back and do it again. Yeah, yeah, I, I completely agree.

And it's just not coincidentally because we're here to talk about the Trauma Recovery Summit, but I was just recording a piece for that earlier, um, on self-care. And, you know, I, to me, I've been doing this work formally now for about 3 years. I've been doing it, you know, informally for a very long time. And I think that's the most important thing for people. And so when we say things like, like meditation, again, I think I'm gonna go sit in a room and light a candle or light some incense, but it could be going outside and sitting on your deck and watching the sunset, which I love to do. Our deck overlooks, you know, a valley and there's a sun. It could be, like you said, looking at a hummingbird and just being intentional about it. So we're, we're not asking people to do things that are hard. We're asking people to do things that are actually enjoyable.

That's right. That's right. Yes, it's, it's, it's an important point, I think, because we lose sight of that in our life. There's so much that comes at us and It can just be that life is full and busy, but we can also shut ourselves down in various ways as we know. Maybe that's sitting in front of a TV watching, streaming crazy amounts of TV, which we've all done. I mean, there's not a judgment thing. It's just really noticing when you are in a place of receiving something that enlivens your heart or spirit. And when you're in a mode that says, you know, I need to shut down, or I need to— it's— I like to say it's becoming awake to your life in a way that says, I'm doing this now, I'm shifting gears, I'm doing this, you know. And the word ritual comes up for me right now. My husband and I have taken on— we've been experiencing a lot of heat here on the Northeastern the last 10 days. And we've just taken this ritual of going swimming in our bay, and we just do that around 4:30, 5 o'clock in the afternoon. And it's just a dip. And it's— I kind of have this ritual of releasing the day and letting the day go. And I don't know, it's 10 minutes or something, but it has brought so much joy to our life. It's fun to identify these things that make us happy. Yeah.

And that's the great thing about once you start to become intentional about this. And I use the word practice again, I know it turns some people off, but for me, over the last few years, I've become very intentional about stuff like this. And my wife has as well. So you talked about, you know, going out and dipping in the bay. I mentioned, like, we have a hummingbird feeder right next to our window where our kitchen table is. And like every night about the time we're eating, the hummingbirds come around. So we'll watch the hummingbird for a while. And then if there's a beautiful sunset, which there is a lot of times this time of year, we'll just go sit on the deck and watch the sunset. And so when we call it a practice, it's just being intentional about these things and, and appreciating these moments that we have in every single day and, and creating those moments.

That's right. That's right. I want to just go back to what you said about, yeah, practice and work and everything. And breaking through habits is hard work, and I think we have to call it what it is. Consistency is something that I encourage and invite people to because I know it's effective. There are studies. I mean, we know this as yogis. I know this as a yogi, that 40, 90 days of consistent practice is going to change behavior. Recently, I talked to who's one of the people that I interviewed for the Trauma Recovery Summit. And she was a psychologist, and she said there is a scientific study that proves 90 days of consistent practice changes your brain, changes the chemistry of your brain. So I just want to say, listen, I get it. It is hard work. Behaviors are hard to change. But it is work that will support the rest of your life. I mean, this is the thing we've got to emphasize, right, Brian D Smith, is this is work that you will be so happy you did.

We'll get back to Grief to Growth in just a few seconds. Did you know that Brian D Smith is an author and a life coach? If you're grieving or know someone who is grieving, his book Grief to Growth is a best-selling, easy-to-read book book that might help you or someone you know. People work with Brian D Smith as a life coach to break through barriers and live their best lives. You can find out more about Brian D Smith and what he offers at www.grieftogrowth.com, www.grief, the number 2, growth.com, or text growth, G-R-O-W-T-H, to 31996. If you'd like to support this podcast, visit www.patreon.com/grieftogrowth, www.patreon.com/grief2growth, the number 2, G-R-O-W-T-H, to make a financial contribution. And now back to Grief to Growth.

Well, you're right. I mean, it is work to change habits. But we think of habits as like negative things like I I smoke, or I drink, or I eat, or whatever. We can also have positive habits. So what we do is we replace one habit with another. Like you said, it might be watching mindless TV, which can be a form of self-care if you do it. That's right, right? Sometimes I decide on a Saturday, I'm like, I'm going to just watch a stupid movie, and I make— I intentionally watch something that's really mindless. So that could be— that can be intentional too. But it's right now we have all these things that we're wasting time on, but we could be doing things that are maybe more productive in terms of our physical or mental well-being. Like, you know, after dinner, going to take a 20-minute walk, you know, just— and once you start doing that, that can become a habit.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think you're referencing back to, you know, what we were calling the original wound, too, is that when we don't go in and investigate these survival techniques that we adopted when we were young and we were doing the best we could, if that's the place that we are working from, you know, I mean, Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul, this is what his whole book was about. You know, it's, it's basically, if that's our starting point and we've never grown beyond that, that that's the best we're going to do for the rest of our life. Right. So the work is really how do we go back safely, you know, with an infrastructure, which is what I teach in my book. How do we find a way to create a foundation safe enough for us to go back and say, let me get curious about that. Wow, this, this doesn't seem like a habit or a reaction or, you know, a trigger that I really want to develop further. It's one I want to move through and heal through. And once we do that, we have this world open up to us, right? It's like, my God, I never knew life would be this good. One of, one of— this is not mine, but again, one of the people I interviewed for for the Trauma Recovery Summit said, and she said, harder now, easier later. Easier now, harder later. And we know, Brian, right? We know people, God love them, that have not been able to do the work. And at the end of their life, it's scary. It can be very scary. So I just put out a vote for Don't worry about it if it's hard, you know, don't worry about it. You can do it if you've got a proper teacher and you've got guides and you've got community around you that can help you. You can do it.

Well, and the thing is, so many of us don't know that we have to do the work. We don't— yeah, we don't know that, right? We don't know how to do the work. Where do I go to find the resources? And, and that's what you offer through your normal course of, your life coaching and your trauma, you know, recovery. And let's talk about— we've alluded to it several times— let's talk about the Trauma Recovery Summit and what that is, right?

Well, I, I also would say that if somebody's watching this, it's— they're probably a bit interested in this topic, right? So the work is probably not all that foreign to them. Uh, yes, this, this incredible Summit is something that I was inspired to do because, as, as the title indicates, it is a trauma recovery summit. Does that mean that you're going to recover by watching the summit? Not necessarily. But what it does mean is that you're going to be exposed to— gosh, I think we're up to about 38 extraordinary speakers, including you, Brian D Smith. Thank you so much for saying yes. And being a part of it, that we get to hear all sorts of different topics addressed. And boy, I'll tell you, I, I, I come away from this past 3 months and having spoken to all of you, having learned so much. I mean, it has increased my base of knowledge. And I know if there's one of you out there that is thinking about taking these next steps, that one of these topics is absolutely going to be there for you. And the way these people speak to them, it's just— it's masterful. It really is.

So the summit— we're recording this in August of 2022. So when is the summit? When does registration start? And how do people find out more about it?

Yeah, registration is open right now. Uh, the actual summit, we are going to open, I think, October 6th. No, I know, October 6th through 9th. So it's a 3-day event. You can find out more by traumarecoverysummit.com/brian, um, and, you know, just check out all the incredible incredible offerings and topics. I, I can't say enough about it, truthfully. I think it's just going to be a, a huge success and help many people.

Yeah, I'm really honored that you asked me to be part of it. I'm really excited about it. I've been doing, uh, quite a bit of work getting ready for it. I know other people have as well. It's going to be an incredible experience. And, you know, I, I also always want to be realistic with people. You're you're not going to heal just by listening to someone. You're not going to heal just by reading a book. But these things can give you ideas. They can be resources for you. And then there's going to be other resources that are going to spin out of this that you can find ways to keep moving going forward and, and start to incorporate these things into your daily life. Because so many people— and we all deal with trauma. I mean, everybody on this planet, I think it's— I don't think it's I don't think it's a bug. I think it's a feature. I think we, we come here to experience trauma, and universally we all experience it. It's just, it's how do we deal with it, you know? And for most of us, we do— we have that initial reaction when we're a child and we get that wound, and when we deal with it the best we can, and we develop these habits that kind of work, but they don't really work that well when we get to be adults, and we continue to do that same thing that's not working. And so what you're offering is people a way to break out of that, right, to address it in a different way. Right.

It really is all about awareness. And I think it's a very important point that you just made. It's— this is not going to be necessarily what heals you, but it could be that thing that you said, wow, I just connected so deeply with what that person said and I want to learn more. And when you're dealing with with, I think, anything in life, right? There has to be a level of curiosity. Something has to be teased inside of you that you say, wow, you know, I want to know more about that person. There was an intrigue there. I want to know more about— that's why people take on these various specialties in their life. And I don't know that there is any greater gift you can give to yourself or anyone else than to really understand who you are, know your nervous system, understand what intimidates you, what fills you up, who you are, and how can you best communicate that information to those you love.

Yeah, that is so— it's interesting because we have worked together. We're kind of like, I think, finishing each other's thoughts because I was working on one of the things I'm contributing for the summit. And I was, you know, the thing is, we talk about self-care, we talk about, you know, that kind of stuff. And I think the initial reaction, a lot of people is, I don't have time for self-care. I'm too busy doing everything else. I'm too busy working. I'm too busy being a mother. I'm too busy being a father. And I tell people, if you're not doing self-care, you're not only selling yourself short, you're selling the people around you short. Because you cannot continue to put out and put out and put out without receiving. So it's really, really important that we take care of ourselves first, not, not as an afterthought, but first.

Well, I would also add to that, Brian, you know, if that too busy phrase comes up for you, really, it's like, okay, what, what are you running from? You know, because it's not sustainable. It's not sustainable. And at some point there's going to be a breakdown, as there was in my own life. There was a breakdown. I started breaking down physically, and it was spending 3 weeks in bed because of bronchial pneumonia that ultimately was like— with 2 young kids and a beautiful family, and I could hardly take a breath and Boy, listen to the wake-up calls. Yeah, yeah.

Whether you believe— and I do, I believe the universe gives us wake-up calls. For some people, I interview a lot of people who have near-death experiences. A lot of people, it's like they'll say, I was getting these little things, and then finally, boom, I got the big one. But we, I think we set up lessons for ourselves. And if we're not getting the lesson, the lesson just keeps coming back to us. And it comes back to us in different ways until we, until we pay attention. And even if you don't believe in that, as I do, from a metaphysical point of view, we all know that most of us are running too hard. Most of us are— we're running full throttle. We're not taking any time, and we're just like, we're exhausted. I talked to so many people right now, they're just like, I'm tired. That's because you're living life hard. You're not living life easy. And when you say you don't have time, what are you filling your day up with? We all have 24 hours in a day. We all have the same amount of time. It's like, what is your priority? That's what I ask people. Are you making yourself a priority? Are you making your self-care a priority? Are you carving that time out of your day, putting it on your calendar like you put everything else on your calendar?

That's right. That's right. I think it's worth saying at this point that most of us do want to be healthy. And happy and peaceful. I mean, I think most of us really do want to have that. And what I've come to understand is the reason I didn't go to that initially was because I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't strong enough to look at the devastating events of my young life. I wasn't. And so why is it that we're not going? It could be just because you don't feel strong enough. But let that be just something that comes up that you're able to say, then how do I get strong enough? Right. How do I take these incremental steps? We think it has to be this big, and really all it has to be is just little digestible, beautiful movements in a direction that's different than the track you're on. And, and there's, there's extraordinary people out there helping people do that. And as, as this summit indicates, I mean, we just got a great collection of folks that are doing really darn good work out there in the world.

Well, you know, the thing I've realized with people, with the people that do, when they finally get to the point where they come to me, which is usually when they feel like they're at their breaking point, is These people are extremely strong and they're spending a lot of energy. And I'm like, you have no idea how strong you are and how much energy you're spending. And actually doing this work might seem like a lot of effort, but not doing it is even more effort. It's even more effort to try to muddle through the way that you're doing it now. As you said, it's, it's a little bit of, it's like making an investment. It's like if you, if you invest a little bit of time here, and I don't, I never ask people for big changes because I think that's just setting people up for failure. It's like, we're not, we're not going to try to— we're going to have an ultimate goal, right? We're going to have a big goal. But what is, what is something you can do? What is something you can do right now? Is it— I, I was talking with someone the other day, and she's just so overwhelmed. She had just recently lost two children within the last couple of years, and she's like, I've got grief fog and I can't remember anything. So I said, let's keep this really simple. I want you to start a gratitude practice, and I want you every day to just think of three things that, you know, you that you can do before you get— that you're grateful about before you get out of bed? She goes, I'm not sure I can remember that. And she had mentioned to me earlier she likes to journal. I said, I'll tell you what, take a journal, set it next to the chair you're sitting in, and put a pen there. And just when you think about it, write down something you're grateful for. And she goes, okay, that I can do. And I'm like, okay, that's, that's our work for today. That's it. That's all we're going to do.

It's great advice. That's great advice. Yeah. Yeah, I, I think we spend so much time running away from that which hurts that the idea of actually turning, you know, that's how I envision it in my own brain. It's like I had that experience today, you know, I woke up, it's been really busy in my life and, and my family. I've got to live on a family property, so there's all this activity. And I was overwhelmed and I was just like, okay, what is it? What is it that you're feeling? And it was just this sort of visual of turning towards myself rather than getting busier and let's get going. This feels uncomfortable. Let's just keep on moving. And just that, just that, just saying, I see you. I hear you. I feel the discomfort, too. We're going to be fine. Okay? Just have that cup of tea or whatever it is that soothes you. That's why that bank of what makes me feel good— is it that hummingbird? Is it that sunset? Is it whatever? Right. Those are the things we can draw on when we're not feeling great.

Yeah. And I'm the same way as you. I felt overwhelmed the last couple of weeks. We're both working hard on getting this summit ready. And yeah, it's a pleasure. It's a joy. But, you know, it can be overwhelming. And I have found for me, my, my thing is like, get up and get something done. And now sometimes it'll be like, let's take some time and meditate right now. And I'm using this— I'm doing this thing called Positive Intelligence, which I'm going to talk more about at the summit, but I'm using this thing called Positive Intelligence that uses PQ reps, which is a matter of just a way of becoming present, like really quickly. So when I'm really feeling stressed out, I'm like, I'm going to take 3 minutes and I'm just going to get into my body. And that gives you that energy you need to go get the stuff done as opposed to just putting your head down and plowing through, which just wears you out. That's right.

That's right. And that is a hard thing to do because you're trained probably like I am. Get up early, get it done. You know, but if you can capture that extraordinary, what we call liminal space, you know, when you come out of sleep and you come into wake, they say— I study yoga nidra, and they say that that is the place where all sorts of creativity lives. So if you're actually taking that and grabbing it and putting it here instead of there, then when you go there, there's a lot more.

Yeah, yeah, that's a great practice. And I didn't know the technical term for it, but that's a great practice. When you wake up in the morning, don't just jump out of bed, you know, take a minute and feel— get— come back. I always— I envision coming back into my body. I feel like when I'm sleeping, I'm out of my body, so I'm coming back into my body. So I feel my body, I do my gratitude practice, I think about the things I'm gonna, you know, do that day, but I don't like stress about them. It's okay, these are the things I need to get done, but right now I'm just going to be hear and come, come into the body slowly. And I found that's been a really helpful practice for me. And it's all— so this, that's the thing about like something like your book. And I think the summit, we can all— and I think we all have to develop our individual practices. No one can tell you what your practice is. I think it's totally unique for every person. Yes, yes.

This acronym too, Brian D Smith, I love, I want to share it with you. Again, this isn't mine. But Is it Michael Beckwith? Michael, you know who I'm talking about, right? Michael Beckwith. This is his. But he said, there is no greater prayer than the word help. And the acronym that he uses is HELLO, Eternal Loving Presence. Wow. So by actually saying help, and I'll say help me because I'm just in a place of not knowing how to take the next step. And that, that prayer, hello, eternal loving presence, right there. It just— it's a beautiful, beautiful thing.

It's funny, I don't remember ever hearing that before. But again, I was just talking to this new client the other day, and they were telling me they're having trouble with their prayer life. I said, if you can't pray, just say help.

Yeah, see, there you go.

You don't have to remember. It doesn't have to be long. We complicate things, right? That's right. Just saying help, you know, just, you know, I don't know what to pray is a prayer, you know, we make things a lot more difficult than they need to be. So I'm really glad that, Sarah, that you're, you're taking the wisdom that you've learned, you know, through your trauma, and the ways you've learned to overcome it. And then the next step is helping other people. I think it's, I think it's beautiful what you're doing. So We've talked a lot about the summit. What do people— what could people do with you besides the summit? What other services do you offer?

Well, one of the things that's sort of just my extraordinary— like, I just— I've been dreaming about doing this forever. And I think it's called The Tribe Inside. And the concept of this community, when it occurred to me to develop it, was that the title said The Tribe Inside, not the— not inside the inside tribe. And what I meant by that when I asked, you know, I'm in meditation and I ask these questions, it was that there is no developing a tribe outside until you develop the tribe inside. And so this community of people, I call it the Self Healers Community. It's really the tribe inside is kind of the seed. So that's like the, the foundational level. And I really just get on and I speak to people about a theme of the month and resources and sort of develop this concept around delivering the theme that month. The next step is, is the inner circle, and that's the conversation. So we get into conversations, and it's an interactive conversations. I with those in the circle about their self-healing path based around that curated theme. Then I also do a group coaching program called Awaken the Healer Inside that just launched last November, and that is really— it's a group coaching opportunity. It— I, I work with people in a pretty deep way. And they have access to me as really probably the most access that I interact with people is through that program. I do do one-on-one clients, but really only with people that have gone through the Awake at the Healer. It's sort of a prerequisite to working with me one-on-one. But I see maybe 5 clients a year. It's just, you know, I'm As I've grown in my own work, my avatar, my client is really me. It's people that have tried a lot of things and have— I know I'm a 62-year-old woman— are kind of in this place of wanting a deep study around the next steps. And it's beautiful. It's beautiful to be in conversation with people that are interested and intrigued and curious and, and confused and, you know, just really looking to find a way that aligns with their heart and spirit.

Yeah, it's awesome. I love what you're doing. I'm excited to be part of the summit. Again, I want to let people know they can— you can reach Sarah at sarahbroussard.com. It's B-R-A-S-S-A-R-D. There'll be links in the show notes, but I know sometimes people listen, so they don't read the notes. Uh, the Trauma Recovery Summit, it's going to be October 6th through 9th. Uh, you can go to traumarecoverysummit.com/brian, B-R-I-A-N, to find out more information and sign up for that. I hope to see a lot of you there. Sarah, anything you want to say as we wrap up today?

Well, I really would just like to emphasize the point that You know, oftentimes when we feel desperate, it can feel so lonely and it can feel so overwhelming. And if you can make, as we've discussed in today's interview, any sort of motion towards yourself, even if that's just to say help to yourself or to a loved one or to somebody that possibly could guide you to greater learning, and healing. You're worth it. Take the chance to do that. You, you deserve that.

Yeah. Wow, great wrap-up. Great. Sarah, it's great seeing you again, and enjoy the rest of your day.

Oh, Brian, thank you so much. You too.

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Thanks for listening to Grief to Growth. Brian hopes that you find this episode helpful, and will come back for future episodes. Brian D Smith's bestselling book, Grief to Growth: Planted, Not Buried, is a great resource for anyone who is coping with grief, or knows someone who is. If you enjoy the podcast and would like to support it, there are 3 things you can do to help. The first is to share the podcast with someone that you think it will help. The second is to go to iTunes, rate and review the episode. The third way you can support the podcast is by becoming a patron. Head over to www.patreon.com/grief2growth. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/grief, the number 2, growth, and sign up to make a small monthly donation. Patrons get access to exclusive bonus content and knowledge that you are helping to spread the message of grief to growth. For more about Brian and grief to growth, visit www.grief2growth.com.

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