SHOCKING Awakening: How a Diving Accident Changed Kat B's Life and Career!

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Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

Hi everybody, this is Brian D Smith. I'm back with another, another episode of Grief to Growth. And I've got my good friend Kat Bailey back. I'm going to read Kat's introduction. Kat, I was going to say, knows a little bit about everything, but Kat actually knows a lot about everything. So I'm going to introduce her with some of the— just some of the things that she does. Kat is an international evidential psychic medium. She's a clinical hypnotherapist. She's a sound healer. She's a Reiki master. And she's also a CBT, which is cognitive behavioral therapy, I believe, psychotherapist. And Kat's been with me before, so if you haven't seen that show, go back and find that show and, and you can find out more about Kat. But with that, I'm going to welcome Kat Bailey to the, to the program.

Hi Brian, thanks for having me. So lovely to be here with you today, and I can't wait to get started. I love our debates because we're always quite colorful when we start discussing subjects. And today we're going to talk about the power of prayer and divine timing because a lot of the viewers that you have got quite a few questions about prayer and what happens when a prayer is not answered or when a prayer is answered. And I felt that I had quite a few examples of interesting things that had happened to me on my spiritual journey that might be of benefit to people here today.

Yeah, that sounds great. I'm looking forward to talking about this, um, and we're going to talk about prayer from a non-religious aspect. I, I grew up in a faith background where we had, you know, we talked about prayer which is basically petitioning, asking God for stuff, and you either did or didn't get it. So there's always been controversy about that. But we're going to talk today about prayer in terms of, again, from a non-religious aspect, from more of a spiritual aspect, or what you have found in your experience actually works for you. So tell me how prayer works for you.

Well, I use prayer a bit like meditation, but I find Prayer is a simpler form of connection, and I describe prayer as a reconnecting to Source. When we pray, it simply means that we're having a dialogue with a higher power. We're sitting with intention or the higher power. We're sitting with ourselves, which can be beneficial in itself in that we can learn quite a lot from ourselves and the universe, the God force, the Creator, the higher consciousness, the divine. It's really a connection technique, but I think prayer in modern society has kind of got a little bit of a sort of a bad reputation in that where meditation has kind of been able to separate itself from the dogmatic beliefs that it originated from, prayer's sort of lagging behind it. And yet prayer's so much more simple. When we meditate, information flows to and from us. When we pray, we just give unconditionally, and it's probably the kindest invitation that we can ever send out to the world, especially if we pray for self or others. Self-love is as important sometimes as actually praying for others or helping and supporting others as well. And so as mediums, we often sit in the power— call it sitting in the power— we don't actually have any intent. We just actually want to sit in the love force to rejuvenate ourselves, to connect, to get that connection with our ancestors, our loved ones, the divine, the higher guides, the masters. For guidance and for help and for healing for others. And when we pray, I don't think it's unlike when you're praying in a religious sense, in that prayer is about petitioning people or the spirit, the higher divine spirit, for help, guidance, or healing or safety. It used to be historically to guide people, to keep people safe. So, you know, tribes and communities back in our ancestral generations would have sitting in communities and communally prayed to support the growth of crops or to request help to keep them safe from other tribes and things like that. And so they just basically wanted to stay alive, really. But prayer can be very unifying as well. It cannot just reconnect us to the source, but it can connect us as a community. And so it can be very, very powerful. And you often see prayer when there's been big disasters like terrorist attacks or events, natural disasters, earthquakes. You often see people come together in community to pray in certain areas. So prayer can be very powerful to bring communities together as well because it's so stupidly simple. And I think that's what's so exciting about prayer is that you don't really need any training in it. You can just literally say it from your heart. The words can flow, the thoughts can flow, the emotions can flow, and there is no real judgment. And we often use it as well to praise and to give thanks and gratitude when something's gone right. So it's It's also a really beautiful form of compassion and unconditional love and non-judgment as well. So prayer has many, many, many guises, and I think if we remove it from the religious kind of dogma, we start to realize, you know, religion itself was— in the Latin, religion means to reconnect, to bind. It comes from the Latin religio, I'm sorry, not pronouncing that right, re— re ligar, which means to bind or to reconnect. And if we think of it as a connection technique, then it's a beautiful ancient spiritual practice, a really sacred form of healing. And some prayers are rewarded and some prayers are not rewarded. And so when we pray, it's a very unselfless act and we have to kind of It's a hope, an intention really, and it comes from a space where we don't know whether that prayer is going to be answered. We just hope with gratitude that it is. I know that you have many questions for me in the terms of, you know, when a prayer isn't answered, what does that mean? Well, we can often learn so much from when a prayer isn't answered as when we can when it is answered, because we learn acceptance, we learn strength, we learn compassion, we learn to grow. And so often we think of, you know, it's bit like when a parent looks after a child. We don't always give our child everything that it asks for. We give it what it needs and what we think would benefit it. And I feel that prayer is a similar thought process. When I, when I ask my spirit guides about it, they tell me that there has to be a healing or spiritual purpose to the answering of a prayer. So there has to be the reward for a favorable result is really to give trust or belief or to support the spiritual journey. And that's quite interesting in itself because in the examples that I've had of prayer, even though I'm not a religious person myself— and I'll share some of those examples to sort of inspire people in a moment— what I've found is that trust and belief followed, but it was more belief in self and belief that I was guided. I didn't need necessarily a religion to be supported supported. I just needed to be spiritual. So acceptance is a really beautiful realization with prayer as well. In the higher consciousness, we've got to have this belief that it knows best for us. So sometimes when my prayers haven't been answered, it's been for the greater good, and I've learned as much. That's what I kind of would share. So I don't know how you feel about that, Brian D Smith, or whether you agree, but that's kind of my experience.

I think you make it— you made a really good point there, Kat. I think we, we tend to pray for things like health, wealth, you know, that we will be protected, that things would go— we want everything to go perfectly, right? We want things to go good. And we tend to pray a lot of times for, frankly, material things, material outcomes. We rarely pray for patience or grace or strength, you know, or things that are spiritual things which might come sometimes through these things that we don't want. So I think that's maybe when we say prayer doesn't work, when people say prayer doesn't work, maybe it's because we're not praying for the right things.

Stay with us. We'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief, most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up. So you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper. Thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry a loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it. The community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing. Listening, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth. I hope to see you there.

Yeah, that's interesting, isn't it? I was with a really interesting lady last week, a really profound healer actually, and she was saying to me that often when she would do healing and she would go into prayer to heal somebody and send healing towards somebody, and she expected them to be completely healed and was surprised sometimes when people weren't. What she did find, that those that were weren't, whether, you know, especially if they were at the end of their life and in a terminal illness state, would often find a benefit to the healing energy or the prayer that she'd given in the respect that they would help them or support their transition. It would give them the courage or the strength. And I thought that was really interesting because it's like, wow, so with this acceptance that we're not in charge, we're not in control, but no matter how much we give— it's a bit like that quote from Mother Teresa, you know, sometimes we think we're a drop in the ocean, but the the ocean would be less for that little drop. And so sometimes we think that what we're doing is very little or limited, but actually it can have a great impact and it can make the difference to somebody going into a situation positively as opposed to negatively. I think prayer is a little bit like the power of thought in that it sets a very positive framework and a good intent. And we often actually find, actually statistically, I think there's a lot of evidence out there if you research it, that actually indicates that prayer does impact health. It does improve health, it reduces stress, it gives a sense of well-being, and it kind of promotes positive thought. Because when you're sitting in contemplation, you're giving yourself time to think, you're setting positive thoughts, you're sending out love and unconditional thoughts and emotions, and you're praising and giving gratitude, all of which have a very loving sort of energetic response back to self as well as to others. So I think, I think prayer has an energetic response, and I think like any thought, feeling, or emotion, it's got a vibrant frequency which is detected or picked up. Now, not being religious, my own experience with prayer is quite an interesting one, and in that I've had many examples where the spirit world, or the divine spirit, the higher self, consciousness have shown me that they have answered my prayers or responded to me. And that's in many, many guises, so I'll share those with you in a moment. But I was also with a really amazing trance teacher last week, and she actually contracted cancer at quite a young age and fought the battle with cancer very heavily. Now, in her early days, she'd actually sponsored a Tibetan monk, and this Tibetan monk, who was actually in defined prayer somewhere in the Asian Hemisphere, discovered that she was ill and had cancer, and as her sponsor, he decided that he would look after her, and he asked for the whole of the temple and surrounding people within his community to pray for her. Now, what's really interesting is, in this instance, is that she did recover from cancer, and she's never had a, you know, she's been in remission now 10, 15 years, very, very healthy. And she looks to that power and intent behind that prayer and gives thanks for it. She can never 100% be as certain that it was the prayer that benefited her, but she— her belief is that it did. And so that's a very interesting thing. Now, growing up in my own experience, there's quite a few things that happened to me in my awakening. So when I had my diving accident where I I nearly did die, I nearly had a near-death experience. There was a few things that really interested me. Now, although I'm not religious today, I was born into a Christian faith and I was brought up in a Church of England school in my elementary or primary school years. I chose at the age of 11 to go my own way and became non-religious, if you like. I just, I have faith, I believe in the higher self and the higher power and the divine, but I don't necessarily go to a church or a part of a religious community. And because I have to work across many religions and cultures. And I love all, and I love it when spirit teach me through those spirituality, every— those, those religions, which they do often actually, because within the thread of all these religions and cultures, there are spiritual beliefs and aids like meditation and prayer that can be highly beneficial. So spirit will often, when they want to teach you about something ancient or spiritual or sacred, they'll teach you through a cultural spiritual belief. And So when I, when I was in the water and I had the diving accident, what was really, really interesting to me is that I had learned the Lord's Prayer when I was a child. And my mum actually used to make me always say prayers before I went to bed, but they were simple prayers just to say, God bless my mum, God bless my dad, bless my family, my sister, the people in my community, and things like that, which was really about learning compassion. It was very simple. Form of prayer. I didn't tend to recite the Lord's Prayer or anything like that, but I had learned it in this primary school in the UK. And on the moment when I thought I was going to die in the water, it's very interesting, there was this simple silence amongst all the chaos that had ensued prior to the silence when I suddenly realized potentially I was going to die. And it was a really strange feeling, and it wasn't scary and it wasn't frightening. It was a very beautiful silent peace that appeared in the water. And suddenly I had an awareness that although I couldn't see anybody in the water with me, I wasn't alone. And I just knew that there was a presence that was there with me. And there was two things I think kind of saved me that day. One was that I wanted to get married, and so I'd waited 8 to 9 years to get engaged to Stuart, my husband, and the the idea of actually dying before I actually got that opportunity, not good news to me. So I remember sort of saying in the water, oh, you are kidding me. You know, please, please, please, please hang on a minute. I've waited 8 to 9 years. Please don't take me now. But then I sort of turned the corner and I sort of said, if you are going to take me, then I want to give thanks and gratitude for an amazing life. I've had a fantastic time. I'd be really sad to exit now, but if it is my time, then I accept it. And I said the Lord's Prayer. And the interesting thing is, as I said the Lord's Prayer, I felt an energy come towards me prior to starting the prayer, and I saw the energy detract. And at that exact moment that it detracted, it was then that the diving instructor and the people that had been with me on that trip that day suddenly came to the surface, and I was kind of rescued and helped to the boat after secondary drowning. So it's It was very, very interesting to me. That was the start of my sort of experience with prayer, if you like, in terms of my own unique experience. The next thing that would happen is, as I started my awakening experience, Spirit would tell me to go home to Yorkshire, into the town that I'm from. And funnily enough, the Bible— when I left this primary school in my elementary years, a Bible was given as a good luck, if you like, when you when you left the school, and I only really kept it because everybody in your class signed the inside of the Bible, so it's kind of like a souvenir of your primary school years and something nice to keep to remember everyone by. And my mum had kept it on the, the spare, in the spare bedroom, which was my old former bedroom, and on the side there, and for guests, just like you do in a hotel. And I never really thought much of it, but on the As my awakening happened and I started to hear and see and sense things that I've never seen before, I thought I was going kind of crazy. Suddenly the Bible opened. I can't explain how, I don't know. It just opened and in the middle of that Bible was a letter. I thought, what is that? I literally went over to the piece of paper and it was folded into 4 pieces and it was just basic exercise, you know, like a ripped out piece of an exercise book.. And I thought, what is that? So I took the piece of paper, I opened it, and to my surprise, there was a letter from my 11-year-old self that said, dear God, please keep me healthy, happy, and allow me to be successful. I love you dearly, and any help that you can prevail my way would be great. And I just love Kat. And I literally folded the piece of paper up and put it in this book. Now I can honestly tell you, Brian D Smith, the shock on my face. I cannot for the life of me remember writing that letter, but I can promise you I must have been about 11 because it must have been within a year of me leaving elementary school. So I know that I must have been very young and thought very beautifully and innocently that if I left a little note there, it would be answered. But the irony there, reading it at the age of 33 was that everything that I'd requested in its simplest form had been answered. And I feel that that was the purpose of the book Opening Up, was to say actually there is a higher force and to have faith that everything that you requested, you gain. Now I'm not saying I didn't work hard for it, and I didn't— you know, there was quite a few bits of suffering and lots of, you know, obstacles in the way. But ironically, I think I, my opinion was that actually what had been written on that paper had been fulfilled. So that was my first experience. My next experience would sort of transpire within another 11 years from that moment. So when I had my awakening, I went to a church, one of my first. I think I mentioned this in the other podcast. I went to a church where my grandfather was buried. Now, my grandfather was buried in a church that wasn't his church. We didn't actually ask special permission for him to be buried in this church because it was a church that he used to go to and frequent, not for religious purposes. My granddad had lost his faith when his father had died as a result of the war and struggled with faith and belief actually. And I think part of my journey through spirituality has actually been to support him in regaining his faith in a funny way. And when I When I was little, he used to sit in this church and I used to say to him, "What are we doing here, Granddad?" And he'd take me to this church because there's horses in the field behind. And my granddad, if anybody knew my granddad, they'd know that he absolutely idolized horses. He'd rescue horses and he'd keep horses and they were his absolute love and passion. And so he would take me really to see the two beautiful horses in the churchyard behind, but he would go into the church he would sit in silent contemplation. And of course, as a 7 or 6 or 7-year-old child, I'd get bored and I'd wonder what he was doing. So I'd be like, "Grandad, can we go see the horses? Grandad, is it time yet? Grandad?" Sort of like a pest to him, really. And when I used to ask him what he was doing, he'd just say, "I'm talking to my loved ones and my friends that died in the war, or the people that aren't here." that went before us. I'm giving thanks. And I never really thought anything of it until I was sent back and requested to go to the church as I was having this awakening experience. And as I said, what made me laugh is that— and I really wish I'd taken a picture of it— was there was this massive bollard and poster that said, you know, 'Please take the alternative path.' And I started laughing because I knew they didn't mean the pathway through the churchyard. I knew they meant alternative things, of which I knew very little about at the time. Yeah, and so it's a really interesting sort of start to the journey. But 11 years after the awakening, I would do my first platform demonstration in a town a couple of hours away from London where I live. And I just remember walking into this center that I'd been asked to serve at, and this, this elderly gentleman came in, very you know, very smiley, very compassionate, very handsome young man, and he served me a beautiful cup of tea. He'd heard that somebody was coming from London, had been sent from London. He got all out the royal china and was making— gave me this spread of tea and biscuits and was like really making a fuss of me, and I thought, how sweet. But with it being my— you know, obviously I hadn't told them it was my first platform demonstration. I was quite nervous. The tea actually took my mind off it. It did help. But as I sat down, I sort of— the tea had made me sort of clock this gentleman. I thought, there's something different about you. There's a level of compassion or something that's so kind. It's not about the tea making. There's something else that I can't quite put my finger on, but I just know there's something about you that I need to pay attention to. And funnily enough, when the service started, this gentleman, although the chairs had been put into two rows, he actually sat in the middle of the row. And he sat with his arms folded right at the back, swinging on his chair. I thought, oh, how odd, he's not sat with the rest of the congregation or the people in the audience. Why is he sat in the middle of the aisle staring right at me? It's a bit intimidating and a little bit frightening. And anyway, he just— so I was distracted. I was trying to sort of feel where I was going to go and who I was going to read for first. I couldn't take my eyes off him. It kind of worked, really. And maybe that's why he did it, I don't know. But So he happened to be the first person that I read for that day, and as luck could have it, I'd been with my daughter to an area called Sutton Hoo, which is a burial site in the UK associated with Saxons. I'd been to a National Trust museum there, and actually Ava had pointed out a sword with a snake around it, and she'd asked me about what this sword meant and why the warriors of this tribe had had swords innate like this. And, and funnily enough, as I went to read for him, the first image I got was this sword. I realized that spirits sometimes put things in your attention span before you do a demonstration to be able to help you. And I said to this gentleman, you'd understand this sword with these snakes around it, but would you understand it being a tattoo that your friend had done when you were in Hong Kong? And I believe that you were in the Navy or the military, is that right? And you served some time in Asia. 'And he said, I did.' I gave him this lovely, lovely reading, and I sort of fudged my way through the hour and a half. And the relief of getting out of there was like, 'Oh, God, it's over, it's done, I can move out.' And as I went to move out, a lady who was actually a lady that I had read for that day— she sat in a different area of the center— suddenly grabbed hold of me, and she said, 'Excuse me, Kat, I need to speak to you.' And the tone in which she said it, I realized that I think I was in trouble. And I thought, oh God, what I said in the center that's kind of got me into deep water. And I started to feel a bit nervous. And she sort of said, you know, I just want to ask a question. Why is it that mediums never bring through children? I said, sorry? She said, platform mediums, they never bring through children. Why is that? My partner, the person you read for very successfully, who you brought his best friend through for, he's got 3 children in the spirit world, Kath, and you didn't bring them through. Why is that? And suddenly I was like, ooh, I felt terrible, Brian. And I can honestly say, suddenly I thought, you've really messed up. And I said very honestly to her, do you know what, I don't think it's that the children weren't here. I think it was me. I think as a medium we feel what's sometimes the easiest link, and I didn't identify the need, the greatest need, which was to bring through these children. And perhaps if I did, it would have been very emotional as well. They may be on this occasion, and this platform was not the right platform for it. But I said to the lady, I tell you what, I become a full-time medium on Monday and I'm starting a new career, and I— why, why don't I do you? Why don't I I gift you or gift your partner a free reading. I can't come all the way back to where we are in Suffolk, but what I can do is meet you halfway in Essex in a place called Braintree. And if you— we could meet at 11 o'clock on the 22nd. And if you, if you can't make it or your partner can't make it, then my husband will kill him because I'll just go shopping instead. And so the choice is yours. I can have a good day either way, so it won't bother me. But yeah, You know, I'll just see you there. And it kind of makes me giggle now as well, Brian, when I realized that I'd said to meet at 11 o'clock at the 22nd, because I didn't really think of it at the time. But of course, now looking back and realizing the synchronicities that we all see with numbers and double numbers in particular, it gives me goosebumps. Because what would transpire is, as I went to read for this guy, I suddenly, I heard my grandfather said, a term in Yorkshire for child is bairn. He said, I've got the bairn with me, Kath, don't be nervous. 'If this gentleman offers to give you money, don't take it. If he offers to take you for coffee, go for coffee instead.' I thought, what the hell is this about? And so straight away I was kind of suspicious, Brian, because I thought this is a very strange— you know, I'd offered to give the reading for free anyway, but I thought it was strange that I was being petitioned in this way. And I went and met him. The reading Thankfully for me, was very successful. We were both crying at certain points, but the reading was really good that day. And sure enough, at the end of the reading, the gentleman went to give me an envelope and he said, 'I just want to pay you for your petrol.' And I said, 'That's really beautiful, but given that you've waited 40 years for a contact with your child, I don't want to accept it. I want to say that this one's on the spirit world.' At which point he said, 'Then would you come for coffee with me?' And I said, 'I would be delighted.' to come for coffee with you. And I thought, what the hell am I going to say to you? I don't know what I'm going to share, but hey, go along for the ride, see what happens anyway. Curiosity kind of led me to go into this coffee shop, at which point he told me about his history in the military, his life. He'd had a very colorful life. What was really strange, Brian D Smith, is he started to mention all the places he'd been in the military, and all the places he'd been in the military were places I'd been sent as a head of buying around the world, except for one, which was Argentina. That was the only place that we could identify that I hadn't been, that he had. But every other place that I'd been to, this guy had been to as well. So we found ourselves having a very colorful conversation about all our travels. And suddenly he said to me, "Are you religious, Kat?" And I said, "You know, the funny thing is, I'm not. I love churches, I love I love the art in churches. I love the sacred space, the feeling I get when I sit in a church. And I love going to sacred spaces. I don't class myself as religious. But that said, when I was a head of buying, I used to do store visits, and I used to have to do this thing where I'd go on motorway to go to see stores. And suddenly one day, I said, spirit started doing this test with me where they'd say, turn off the motorway, turn left. And Being the crazy person that I am, I decided to do it because curiosity killed the cat. I wanted to know why they wanted me to do it. So I turn off the motorway, turn left, turn left, turn left, and every time I did this, it always took me to a church. And the church would either be St. Mary's or St. Michael's, very occasionally St. Peter's. But there was a, there was a, there was a pattern of behavior. And from the minute I said this, Brian D Smith, the guy in question got up off his chair and suddenly started dialing very animated into his phone. And I realized that he was dialing his partner and he was in complete panic, at which point I was really worried, had I offended him by saying to him that I'd been directed to churches by the spirit world? And, but no, no, no, he was calling his partner who was paying for some clothes at the till point in the shopping mall. And he told her to drop everything and she came dashing in. And of course she didn't know how the reading had gone, so she was worried, and she came in in quite a panic. And he said to her, tell her, tell Kat what we've done since we retired. And she said, what do you mean? He said, tell her the thing we do in the car, tell her what we do since we retired, because I can't say it because she won't believe me. And this lady looked really flustered You know, she went, "Well, the thing we do in the car." And he said, "Yeah, just tell her the thing we do in the car." And she says, "We call it turn left, Kath. We do this thing, we go off the motorway, we turn left, we turn left, we turn left, and we always end up at a church. And the church is either St. Mary's or St. Michael's." At which point, obviously her not knowing the conversation, I nearly dropped the drink I was drinking. And suddenly this download of information came from the spirit world. I could almost hear them laughing. Because when my granddad, just before he died, I'd said to him— he said to me, it was the last time I was ever gonna see him, and I didn't think it would be true, so I started to laugh and I said to him, I tell you what, granddad— and I guess this is my prayer to him, Brian D Smith— was, if there is an afterlife, you better come find me. You better give me a sign that you still exist. When you do, it'll be funny. And I kind of just It was a bit of a flippant comment, didn't really think anything of it. But suddenly this download of information came in and I looked at this guy and I said, "Oh, have you ever lived in Yorkshire?" Bearing in mind that this was the south of England where we'd met. And he said, "I did, Kat. I was a pub landlord in Leeds in the '90s." I said, "Okay, you were a pub landlord in the '90s." I said, "Oh my God, have you done this turn left thing?" 'in Yorkshire.' He said, 'I did, Kat. The first time I ever did it, I did this turn left thing.' He said, 'The first time I ever did it, I did it in a town in Derbyshire, and it took me to the grave of Robin Hood.' He said, 'But only Robin Hood isn't buried under the name of Robin Hood, it's just like a bone that's, you know, buried under the name of St. John. But every time I go to one of these churches, I look up the history of the church, and that's what I found out about the first church.' But The second time I did it, I was in Yorkshire and I said, "Oh my word, I know where you did this turn left. Are you telling me you did this turn left out of Whitby?" And he said, "I did, Kat. I did this turn left out of Whitby." And I was like, "Oh my word." Now, where my granddad is buried, Brian, is the smallest church in the middle of nowhere, and there's only about 12 houses surrounding this churchyard. And to get to this area would be quite a task in itself if you didn't know where it was.. But this gentleman sat in front of me, had done a turn left, and he'd ended up at the church where my grandfather was buried. And I said to him, at which point my eyes watered because I realized the significance of why I needed to go for the coffee, and I said to him, "Are you telling me that you said a prayer? Did you say a prayer in that church? Did you ask to speak to your children?" And he said, "I did. I said a prayer and I said, 'Come see, come saw.'" And I said, "What year?" were you in that church? And he said, I think it was 1995, which at which point I just burst out into crying, Brian, because my grandfather was buried in that church in 1995. And I was like quite gobsmacked. And I said, you said a prayer. I said, do you not think it's strange that you've been wanting to hear from your children for 40-odd years and your children haven't been brought through, or at least one of them hasn't. I think that's strange that it's taken me 11 years. I always wondered why I was woken up. I always wondered why this was happening to me, because I had a wonderful life before being a medium. I didn't have any intent to become a medium. I had a lovely career, nice lifestyle, was very happy, and suddenly this awakening changed everything. Yeah, I always wondered why it happened, Brian D Smith, and I sometimes wonder Was it the power of that prayer? Was it the fact that he said that prayer? And the other thing about that was it showed me Divine Timing. It was 11 years to the year that my grandfather had died before he awoke me. It was 11 years later that I would meet this gentleman who would tell me the story of saying the prayer in the church where he was buried, in the year he was buried. And my granddad always loved children, so I can only think he sat in that church and he probably thought when he saw this gentleman praying, "Wouldn't it be nice if somebody answered back? Wouldn't it be nice if somebody just talked back?" And that obviously set a chain reaction. There was a purpose to the awakening. There was a purpose to the prayer. It was to respond and answer somebody else's prayer. And in my response, in responding and answering his prayer, which was to speak to his children through the reading that I gave that day, he answered my prayer, which was, 'Granddad, if there is an afterlife, give me a sign.' Mm-hmm. So I kind of love that little synergy, Brian D Smith, of maybe we're the conduits for spirit, maybe we're the people that answer the prayer, maybe the divine force inspires others to meet that need, that we're always looking for it out there, but actually the community around us is the best source of support. And, you know, I kind of felt rewarded in a favorable way. And it really did, it cemented my faith. And the things that would happen to me in the following days, it would then give me this event when I was then told by spirit from a woman on platform to go to India and to down-tool everything and go spend 2 weeks in Goa. And I was thinking, I can't afford it, I can't go to Goa, and make all these excuses up. Suddenly I would just do it. It was the difference between sitting on the fence or having that leap of faith. No, my prayer was answered. I need to answer and respond. If somebody's requesting that I go to India, there must be a higher purpose to it. And I went, and thank God I did, because it changed my life and would be the next synchronicity, if you like, in the sort of unfolding of the journey, the spiritual journey for me. So I think when these things happen, these, these calls to prayer, if you like, or these, these synchronicities or moments where you feel that a prayer has been answered, inspires you to have the trust, belief, and faith to progress onwards then. And that's what forms part of the spiritual journey or the spiritual inquest, if you like, in the curious mind. Does that, does that help at all?

Yeah, yeah, it's really interesting. You touched on a lot of really good things there, I think. Um, in terms of, well, divine timing, it's interesting you mentioned that, that phrase because I was talking with a friend a couple weeks ago. I was interviewing Marcus Lang and we're talking about divine timing and he was told he was going to come back. He had a near-death experience. He's going to tell— he's going to come back and be a physical medium, but it took him like 20 years from the time he had the experience till he actually got started. And so a lot of times our, in our human minds, we say a prayer and we think, okay, it wasn't answered. Because it's been a week or a month or a year. And sometimes those prayers are answered and nothing's happening. Yeah. And sometimes they're answered in decades. You also talked about kind of the soul planning, I guess, or the things are going to work out, you know, in our favor anyway, right? So having that trust, as you kind of indicated now, because you've seen prayers answered, and you've seen how your path path is unfolded, you have more trust, which allows you to take more, um, risks, let's say, opportunities, and then those things turn into good things. So as we discover this, this path of prayer and answers and, and, and trusting, then we take more, more leaps forward and we can, you know, do better or go farther.

Yeah, and I think that's part of the spiritual inquest. And I think if you, you know, you look many sort of cultures and societies, and they talk about ascension, the idea that you're evolving as a spirit person. To have these experiences, you have to have faith, you have to have belief. It's not religious, it's about having the power and conviction to believe what you're experiencing and go with it. And I think that's the difference as well, you know, we talk about signs and synchronicities a lot. I think that's the difference. We sometimes think signs are just validations, Brian D Smith, but I don't think they are. My experience is that when you follow and you take an action after a prayer or a synchronicity and you follow with conviction and belief and trust that what is unfolding for you is right. And you often find that it leads you on a path of higher understanding, of greater knowledge. And I certainly found that very recently with my trip to France. I found that spirit evolved my thinking and understanding, but they made lots of— what was really interesting on that trip is, again, I say to you, sometimes the things that went wrong on the trip were actually the call to action that made me take a different decision or use my intuition that led me to a very spiritual place or a spiritual experience. So it is interesting, sometimes we get very frustrated that things aren't going right and we think that things aren't happening in our time frame. And we, you know, we said a prayer and we expected it to be delivered and it didn't arrive. What's going on? You know, I've done all this for you, what are you doing for me? That kind of feeling. And then we have these awakening moments or these kind of aha moments where we do realise, if I look at the item of the letter in the Bible that had been written 20 years, you know, 22 years prior, funnily enough, years prior to me finding it and realising that it had been granted, and again it was 22 years before I would meet the gentleman and read for his children, so you sort of see that the prayers are take— they take time and they evolve over time. Because I think the synchronicities of patterns, you know, you talk about Touch and Soul Planning. What if it is that actually in order to architecture those responses, they need— we need to set other people's up? And it's a big— it's almost like looking at a map, isn't it? You've got to set a number of things into play in order to respond to that prayer, and that takes time, and it takes in, you know, creativity, ingenuity, innovation. And so we've— patience is a really valuable tool on the spiritual journey, if you like, because you have to learn all these values alongside it. That's what I say. And I appreciate it's frustrating, and sometimes people feel that their prayers aren't answered, and awful things do happen in the world. You know, we know ourselves from the amount of people that we work with that have lost children and stuff, it's the hardest thing for a human being to go through, to have that experience of losing a child. And yet out of that can, you know, we do see within our communities as well, yes, there are some people that struggle to keep their head over water, but there are others that find a higher purpose and find strength in very difficult difficult circumstances, and their courage inspires other people because they've got such positive and powerful intent. And the compassion that they show to people completely impacts you. You know, the amount of beautiful inspirational speakers that we've had, they're just normal people that have had really difficult life challenges and overcome some of the hardest hardships, are some of the most interesting people that I've met because their journey and their need to find purpose in something that just lacks purpose and lacks, you know, is challenging. It challenges every physical part, emotional part, mental part, and spiritual part of your life frame. So I think, I mean, that's my experience with prayer. Prayer's a lot of things, but I think it's simple, it's unselfish. Giving yourself 5 or 10 minutes minutes a day. It doesn't have to be very long, just to sit in what we call the power, or just shifting your attention, just to sit. You don't have to say anything, but if you want to, you might be surprised to find that things do unfold. Maybe not in your timeframe, maybe not in the way that you expect. I'm not saying that you won't have suffering or hardships or any of those things. You'll have all of those and more. They're part of the journey too. But that's what what colors you and is interesting in a way and maintains your sort of interest and sort of respect really for the power of nature and the power of the universe and the God force within.

So when you talk about sitting in the power, that's where you said you sit really with no intention and you just sit in the love and the light. Would you call that prayer? Would you call that meditation? Is it something different?

I don't class it as meditation because I don't go into— I do go into a slightly altered state, but I don't do any induction or any, you know, don't use guided meditation for it. I literally just close my eyes and I ask for the force of nature or the God force within to sit me in the power. That's all I say. It's a very simple request, just sit me in the power. And sometimes in that power, I'll ask for healing for myself or others. Especially if I've had a very difficult week and I'm run down and I've got to read for people. I want to be at my highest potential. I want to do a good job. So I'll partition and say, please send me self-healing and love so that I'm able to have abundance to support other people. And that's it. And I'll just sit in the silence. And sometimes I will just sit in the silence and I receive nothing. And sometimes I'll sit in the silence and words of wisdom will fall into my head, whether they come from loved ones or guides or masters or the God force. I'm not sure. And, you know, sometimes I recognize the voice and I know it to be somebody that I'm aware of, like Ari Ne'eman. But sometimes I don't, and they're just words or thoughts that fall in, or innovative ideas, creative solutions. And I'm very thankful for them. I journal them down and write them, and I try to incorporate them in what I do in the week ahead or in the conversations that I have with people. And, you know, I'd say 100% of the time that that information comes in, it's valuable and it's useful. And sometimes I find that it can prevent me from doing something in a complicated way. Very simply, it changes my perspective and I end up doing something quicker, simply using less energy, depleting less energy for myself and supporting others more effectively because I've got more time to give. So I think the force, the power that we're connecting to is very innovative, and I think it wants us to have a better life. But we've got to give it time. We've got to spend time, you know, even where prayer is present in religions and cultures, you'll often find there's an archetype that we pray to. We very rarely go direct. But my advice to anybody listening is we can go direct. That power is accessible to all of us. It doesn't need a religion, a culture, a form. It is just literally unconditional love. And the idea of connecting to unconditional love is that there is no end and no beginning, and love will never hurt you. It will just hold you in a space, a powerful space, and it will create— you create a connection. And that connection, what you do with that connection, is completely up to you. But what I'd say from my own experience is it can be amazing, and it can create many, many opportunities and bring me amazing people and amazing things into your life. And just realize that sometimes prayers are answered through others. You know, somebody said to me in my development circle group the other day, they said, you know, you— the role of each and every one of us is that every person that we meet, we're either going to teach or we're going to learn from. Touching each other's soul. We're all connected. And that's kind of a nice and interesting thing, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, very. So you said, you said something about going directly to the source, which brings up another question. So I know in some traditions, people pray to saints, to the Virgin Mary. Some people pray to ancestors. We've got our guides. And I've been told we should ask our guides for help. So what do you recommend in terms of all those types of things?

I think it's whatever's comfortable for you. The history of our society is that we've prayed to many, many things, and sometimes the idea of praying to the saints or the, the, the guides or the masters was that they didn't— you didn't want to bother the God force or the Creator. Yeah, yeah, you didn't want it.

You didn't want it.

You're too busy. But, but my experience is it's listening. It's listening and it's welcome, and it— we don't knock on its door enough. That's why, you know, when there was a poem, but I wish I'd got it actually, I would have read it to you, but it's on my laptop somewhere, called 'Reside with Me' that I downloaded once when I was studying, and it was one of the first times I ever sat in the power, you know, that's the thing that I would say about the power, is when you sit in it, amazing creative things can happen, so suddenly you can write poetry when you never wrote poetry before, you can do amazing artworks even if you're not an artist, because the divine will inspire you. You can sing. When I was born, turned deaf, so if I can sing, that amazing things really can happen. And so I find that this creative force that you connect with, it's really, really clever, and it can show you and inspire you through different things. But I think when you pray to a saint or an archetype, you're really praying to a form of the divine. So you, you're using that because you find it an easy association, and Some people find it too hard to go direct, so actually praying to somebody like Mother Mary, you've lost a child, even if you're not Catholic, can be very, very comforting because it's somebody that you— that represents a situation or issue that you're going through. So for somebody that's lost a child and seeing an archetype that's lost a child, it forms a connection. The idea is connection, isn't it? That's what prayer is about. So So whether that connection is to that person, I don't think the universe minds whether it's to the archetype, knowing that it's really directed because you feel more comfortable. It wants you to be happy and connected. So I think— I don't think it matters. I mean, I personally think going direct is the best way, but I think I've got to be very respectful that it might be right for me, but it might not be right for others. I think you have to do— you have to petition or pray to whoever you think is right. Some people pray to their loved ones in the spirit world, some people pray to their ancestors, some people pray to the spirits and the fairies, or the, you know, they pray to the environment for that to support the harvest, to the sun, to the weather, to the elements. And some people pray to the gods and the goddesses. I think it's, it's part— it depends what your life represents to you, and you're free to choose. I don't think the source or the creator will mind. It knows that it's connected with you. It's never separated. And so it just understands that you need, you need another form in order to be able to share that light and that experience.

Yeah, yeah, I think that's, I think it's really good advice. And yeah, it's interesting Because as you said, we're— everything's kind of an aspect of the divine anyway. We're all, we're all that in different forms. So if it makes you feel more comfortable to pray to a saint or something like that, I just, I don't think the divine's going to mind. I, up until very recently, I hadn't heard about spirit guides, right? And asking my guides for help. So, you know, I'm like, okay guys, let's get going. I'm asking, I'm like, I'm asking for help all the time. I'm still waiting for it to come, but I guess it'll come in divine timing, right?

But I think, you know, even the angelic realm or the guides or masters, I think they give you signs, and I think they show you that they're there. And over time, when you get to know them and spend time with them, they will give you— they'll give you their name presented on a book. So when I found out one of my guides' names, a book was given, his name was written on it. And then I went— I was sent to India, and quotes were given to me by somebody else that was as part of that force. So you start, you know, I can have moments where one of my guides will teach me and say, you know, Virginia Woolf, go to the internet, put Virginia Woolf in, and it comes up with stream of consciousness. Stream of consciousness, put it into the internet, put it into the internet. And then this is how crazy my world is, Brian. And then it takes me to a page on William James, who's a psychologist. And then the whole of that week, he— they tell me to study this guy, and I study him. And the whole of that week, everybody that comes in for a reading or even for healing, is a psychologist or a psychology student or somebody who's interested in psychology. And I realize what they've done is they've set the information up. Even little synchronicities like that make me realize they are there, they are listening. And when I'm saying, give me help, make sure you, you, you send me support, they're dropping in these little nuggets of information. Sometimes we're looking for these big wham, wow, whoo 'Oh, you know, change the word fireworks.' Often just practical advice. Or if I need a plumber and the plumber suddenly introduces himself on the street outside and says, 'Ah, I'm working in the area,' and I'm like, 'Oh, I really need a plumber,' I think, 'Oh, that's a gift.' It's a gift. It's like, you know, so sometimes I think we've got to just be not realistic but practical in our responses as well and just realize that they are helping. And, and it's beautiful, you know, the role of our ancestors and all our loved ones in the spirit world, be they guide masters or family, is really to, to help the living, to help the living have an easier life and successful life, and to live life and to take away fear. Really, that's what I think.

Yeah, well, I think you make a lot of good points there because we tend to, I think we say, okay, we pray for for big things, we expect big things to happen. And but there's this whole— what I'm gathering from you— this whole interaction between prayer and divine timing and gratitude and recognition of what, you know, when our prayers are answered and how they may be answered in ways that may be better or worse for us. And sometimes we'll pray for something, we really want something, and we don't get it. And we think, that's terrible, my prayer wasn't answered. And then several years later, we realized that would have been a disaster if I'd gotten that. And what you got was something that was, was actually a lot better. And as humans, you know, we are kind of like toddlers, right? We want everything the way we want it right now. And as parents, yeah, and as parents, we're like, no, you can't have that right now. That's not the best thing for you. You know, maybe you'll get that later, or maybe you'll get this, which is going to be more beneficial to you.

So I think you've touched on a really good point there, Brian, is sometimes as well it's a sliding door moment. That's what I call some of these moments, is like sometimes one door closes but another one opens. And so sometimes when we think our prayer hasn't been answered, it's answered but in a different way, not the way that we expect. Yeah. And I do recognize that there are compromises. You know, I remember Irene in our group telling me the story of when she She got very angry with a public speaker who had said prayers and been cured of cancer, and she survived and did really well, whereas, you know, her own daughter, she prayed and wasn't given that response, which was heartbreaking for her. Did it mean that she lost her faith? No, it made her a very compassionate lady who then went on to build an amazing life helping others very unselflessly. While I appreciate that she would do anything to have her child back, anything, including petitioning to swap places, I'm sure, I think what we realize is that sometimes the children in the spirit world serve a purpose in that they're helping a broader audience and that there's a love and compassion there that's quite astounding. And I think she fused things you know, from speaking to her, I think she views things very differently now, you know, many, many years later with reflection. So I think our outlook on life changes as we evolve as humans, and so when something goes wrong, the immediate response is to sort of get frustrated or scream or feel negative, but actually if we can step back and give a bit of time, we can reflect on something and see things quite differently. And it, you know, I was laughing about 10, 12 weeks ago. I had an incident on an escalator. Somebody dropped a suitcase and it finally went down and hit me in the back. I went flying in the air and broke my ribs. I just remember saying to myself, you know, funnily enough, the guy whose suitcase it was, when he gave me his name, started laughing because he had my guide's name and his initials were my granddad's initials. And I thought, oh God, they just want me to slow down, slow down and sit and think. And now I can't go to the gym or do any of the things that I wanted to do that was just leisure time. I have to focus and concentrate on what they've asked me to do, and I've been avoiding it, and I'm not doing what they've asked me to do. And I'm not saying that they will trip you up or hurt you, but you know, it was enough that I was damaged enough that it was sore and I could, you know, I was held in a state.

Well, I think we do get nudges sometimes that are pushing us one direction or the other, or, you know, we all like to hear you know, when, when God closes the door, you know, he opens a window or whatever it is. I mean, sometimes opportunities are closed off to us to force us to go another direction. And that can be very frustrating when you're trying to go down this path. And the path keeps getting blocked and you have to realize this is not the path for you.

Yeah, that's so powerful. We've seen that in both our lives many, many times, haven't we, Brian? And I think that is actually really valuable what you're saying there, is often when the doors close it's because it's not the right path for us, and that's spirit trying to tell us there's another way. So yeah, it doesn't have to be as extreme as being tripped up, but it could be a signpost in itself to say maybe it's time to look at things differently. And that can be when power prayer becomes very powerful, because if you sit in the power then, saying, why are these doors being closed? What are the opportunities? What would you like me to do differently? Differently. What are they? Then you might get the guidance and support to where you're going to go next. It's a bit like your podcast. You have many frustrations before your podcast started, of doors that were closing and things that you wanted to do. But look how amazing it is. Wasn't it a good thing that those doors closed? Because what you've created is so much more positive and vibrant and exciting. And so, you know, hindsight's a wonderful thing, isn't it? It's an amazing thing. But it's like one of those of, you know, it's an opportunity and it is a leap of faith. And sometimes you do go down a pathway and doors get closed and you turn a different way. But part of that is learning tenacity and determination and saying— and trust and faith. It comes back to, doesn't it? Trusting faith.

And the only way you're gonna learn tenacity and determination, things like that, is to have doors closed in your face. It's— that's the only way to learn it.

It.

So we pray for that to be taken away. But if it is taken away, then we never— we don't get the opportunity for that lesson of perseverance. But, you know, sometimes it's hard to know, how long do I keep banging my head against this door? Am I supposed to be tenacious? Or am I supposed to do something else?

Do you know what I think the shift I've seen when things work out, and I don't know if you'd say this is true of your situation, but it's certainly— I think it's true of mine— is when I surrender. When I give in, when I do something from the love of my heart, when I really engage and I do something because I just see it as a blessing. I don't look for the outcome in something. I just enjoy the moment. I'm in the present and I try to either gift or do something to make me happy or somebody else happy or something that, that just gives me value in life or makes me feel valued and gives me enjoyment and satisfaction. Sometimes it's in those moments when I'm fully engaged in the moment and I'm working from a place of love and compassion, they're the moments that really create the heart, the aha moments, or the things that become successful. And sometimes they're not the things that I expect. And one of my biggest sort of learnings really from leaving the corporate world, Brian D Smith, is You know, I had a very successful career. I was really well respected. I loved what I did. And, you know, I turned away from a very high-flying job for the love of Spirit because they requested me to do that. Now, I know that I originally thought it was gonna be a gap year, but it was one of the hardest leaps of faith to do, to leave a life that you love, that had been your life for 15 years, and to trust instinctively it's what to do. I can tell you many days on that pathway, just like you. Are you sure this is the right thing for me? Are you sure this is what you want me to do? Really? You know, but then I'm amazed because I look back at the last 3 years of all that, you know, the first year of all the petitioning, of like, are you sure? And then you look back and you think, wow, pipes, like all these magical things are happening and things are expanding. And okay, it's It's slowly and it's gradually, but it's in a way that I can cope with. I'm learning steadily. I can see the progress. I can see more there is to do. I'm the happiest now that I've ever been. That's the funny thing. And I realized that money isn't what made me happy. It's, it's actually serving self and others and being connected to spirit every day and doing life you know, outside the box, working outside the box. It's not a 9-to-5 existence. It takes more discipline sometimes because you haven't got the structure that you've got when you're working for somebody else. You've got to kind of get to your desk on time and not think, oh, I'll just sleep in today, or kind of that kind of thing. But yeah, so it's happiness in a different way, and I think we've all— we're all, you know, I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy my corporate life. I loved my corporate life, and I'm not saying I'll never go back to it either. But what I do recognize is that the things I thought made me happy are not what makes me happy. And I think that's been one of the biggest learnings from the power of prayer and the spiritual pathway, really.

You know, it's— as we're talking, I keep thinking about— I did an interview with Heidi Craig a few weeks ago, and she had a near-death experience, and she talked like 3 lessons she came back with. Were, which are everything is as it should be, everything will be okay, and you're unconditionally loved. And if we can keep that perspective, and that's, and that's not just unique to Heidi, so many people that have had near-death experiences, they said that's the lesson. Then you've touched upon it many times today. It's all about love. And we're all going to be okay. And we're good. So if we can keep that perspective, it'll help us with the patience. And, you know, and we can, we continue to pray for things and for good outcomes and everything. But understand that whatever you get is going to be what's best for you. Even though it may not feel like it at the time, it may not feel like it for a couple of decades. You may not even understand it until you're on the other side. But if you can keep that faith, it makes it a little bit easier.

Yeah, I think so. I think so. Because otherwise, what are we living for? It, you know, it'd be very sad if there's nothing else out there. That's what I think. But my experience is through the experiences that I've had is that there is— there's something listening. And that in fact, I think there's many, many things listening. It's not— it's not just a divine force. It is all these lovely archetypes. It is all these ancestors. It is, you know, there's so many, many layers to it. And it's interesting. It's magical and it's interesting.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, Kat, I appreciate you doing this again. I knew it was gonna be a great conversation and And it was hopefully people listening get something out of it. I want to tell people how they can reach you. Your website is www.kat-b.com. So you can reach Kat there. Kat is an evidential medium. She does reading. She's also a psycho— CBT psychotherapist, Reiki master, sound healer, and clinical hypnotherapist. So Kat, been great talking to you again.

Lovely as ever, Brian. Love you. Take care.

All right. See you soon.

Thanks for listening to Grief to Growth. Brian hopes that you find this episode helpful and will come back for future episodes. Brian's bestselling book, Grief to Growth: Planted, Not Buried, is a great resource for anyone who is coping with grief or knows someone who is. If you enjoy the podcast and would like to support it, there are 3 things 3 things you can do to help. The first is to share the podcast with someone that you think it will help. The second is to go to iTunes, rate and review the episode. The third way you can support the podcast is by becoming a patron. Head over to www.patreon.com/grief2growth. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/grief, the Number 2, growth, and sign up to make a small monthly donation. Patrons get access to exclusive bonus content and knowledge that you are helping to spread the message of grief to growth. For more about Brian and grief to growth, visit www.grief2growth.com.

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