SWORN to Secrecy! Susanne Seymoure Reveals What She Learned in Heaven

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Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

Hey everybody, this is Brian D Smith back with another episode of Grief 2 Growth. And I've got a really exciting guest with me today. This is another near-death story. I know you guys love those, and this is someone who I just heard pretty recently and said I had to get her on. So, uh, I asked her and she graciously agreed. So we just met for the first time a few minutes ago. Her name is Suzanne Seymour, and at the age of 12, she died by hanging from her scarf on a ski hill in a freak accident. She was left alone for 45 minutes. She encountered Jesus, angels, and, and a lot more. Now, she did keep her story a secret until pretty recently. And now she shares her childhood journey in a new book that's called My Secrets from Heaven, in hopes to add more love, comfort, and inspiration to others in the world. And she also became a registered nurse after her experience. So I just want to give a real quick introduction. I want to let Suzanne tell her own story. So with that, I want to welcome Suzanne Seymour to Grief to Growth.

Oh, hi, thank you very much. Pleasure to be here.

Yes, Suzanne, it was— it's, it's really nice to meet you. I was telling, uh, you and I were talking, we got started just right away, and I was like, we got to start recording because we had a lot of good, uh, exchanges before we got started here. But I know that, um, you had this experience when you were 12 years old, and you kept it a secret for a little while. So tell me about the experience and, and what led up to it.

Okay. Um, so I was 12 years old, and my parents— I give a little background in my book about my parents, because I think people like to know what influenced your life before that experience. It's just, I just think it gives a complete picture and allows people to get a richer experience. So my parents were immigrants. They came over from Germany and settled in, in America, hoping, you know, they had survived the war with Hitler and the Nazis as children, um, so they were survivors. I did not have a strong religious background at all. There was no prayer in my home or, or any practice, so to speak. It was, um, they were scientific. My father was a very scientific engineer, and it would, you know, they wanted to live life. They weren't interested in reviewing the past or, or talking about heaven or death or any of it. So for them, that was really That was really my experience as a child. When I was 12, they were reunited with my grandparents who decided to move here, and they built a home together in Pennsylvania. And one blizz— so the story begins one blizzard day in the '70s, 1975. We didn't know it was going to be a blizzard. Of course, you know the weatherman, "Oh, a little snow, you know, don't worry about it." So we're like, "What are we going to do today? We don't want to sit in the house. Let's go for a walk." Then we found our old skis in the basement. My mother said, you know, let's just, let's just take the skis and see if we can't run down the hill a few times. So it was my grandparents, my parents, my brother, and myself, and we went for a journey and a hike. We wound up getting into the blizz— this blizzard just came out of nowhere. The snowflakes were, you know, but we did make it to the hill. It was a struggle. We got lost because the roads and the forest looked the same. So we wound up getting lost, but we did finally make it. The ski hill was not for public use, and the reason I tell this is because there were no safety features. No, um, it was just my family there that day. As a matter of fact, the maintenance man happened to be nearby and, and was locking up another facility. And he turned it on telling my parents, just shut it off when you leave, here's the key. So this big machine was in a booth that pulled this rope for the ski hill. So my brother and I, not being regular skiers, we had, you know, a couple pair of used skis, decided to get in a few runs since we walked all that way. And my parents and my grandparents stayed at the bottom of the hill. So I'm setting the scene. And, and this was just a freak accident. The rope spins spiral. And so it pulled extra hard because this wasn't a rope that a ski lift that was regulated, you know, it was just a local community. It was a large lift, but it wasn't the typical. Anyway, we looked at the booth before we started because my grandfather, my father, they're all engineers, and they wanted to take a look at it. And we noticed there was a little square cutout, probably the size of your computer screen, and it went into this shack and the rope went in and then it came out up high again out of a— out of the same size. Inside was this giant pulley. Well, on my way up, I grabbed ahold of the rope the best I knew how. I didn't have any skiing lessons or, you know, any instructor. So I grabbed it and my scarf entangled in the rope.. And as it twisted, I thought, I can get out of this, you know. And I was, I was a, I was a very powerful— I had a lot of inner strength. I, I wasn't a fearful person. I'm like, I can get out of this. So I started to work on it. Really quickly, I realized, wow, that hole's coming up, up ahead. I have a few seconds here, I better and it got tighter and tighter, and my head hit into all the ski poles on the way up, and, um, and it became a very violent hanging. And so I hung the whole way up the ski lift, and at the end I thought, well, my head's either going to go in that— it has to go in that square, and I'll either be decapitated or it'll be crushed. And I didn't see— I knew there wasn't a way out at that point. A few minutes later, or seconds or moments, I wake up, or I was awake, I don't know. I just, I went from seeing that, that, that entranceway. And then I remember the next thing I saw was looking over towards the woods. And I saw this beautiful beautiful being walking towards me with, with beautiful light. And on a gray day with lots of snow, you really notice this light. And, and it just, it just was warm. And I remember being very cold. And then all of a sudden, now I'm warm. And, and there's just this, this radiance of It's just everything, love and beauty. And it's coming towards me. And I thought, that's my dad. My dad is coming to get me because I love my dad. So he was coming towards me and he's going to rescue me. And, and I was looking and then I realized that's not my dad. Because as he kneeled towards me, he let me know who he was. And I hadn't seen, you know, pictures, or, you know, we didn't talk about angels. It wasn't part of my growing up. And he let me know that he was Jesus. And his hands reached forward, and he had two angels with him. And they were not like the angels I've seen in pictures where they're women or female and they have beautiful sparkly wings. These were males. And they were actually— they had strength, they had kindness, and they had humor towards me as a child. So there was a taller one and a shorter one, and the shorter one kept tripping as they were coming forward, and the taller one was like, come on, keep up, keep up, and hurry up. And, and so I was giggling because they smiled. They were, you know, a little silly. And Jesus had his hands out and And then he touched me and he picked me up. And I remember just feeling like it was the love of 1,000 loving fathers, like it was so secure and safe and, and home and family. And, and I knew that he told me everything just communicating with his eyes and his hands. And, and it was almost— tell— it is telepathic, or whatever word we want to use. It's hard to find a word for what we don't have here. But he communicated everything about himself to me. And I understood that he knew everything about me in a moment. Everything. He could hear my heart, my thoughts, my worries, my pain, everything he could, he could, he knew. So it was an extraordinary, unforgettable experience that I've carried from 12 years old all my life. And, you know, people who might wonder, is it a dream? Is it, you know, lack of ox— whatever they might think, I've had many dreams. And I've had many experiences. And I've been a nurse, an RN, for over 25 years. And, and I have children and a family. And I know, I know what I know, that experience of having Jesus save you, or come to you. It's the most real thing I know. And it's my compass. It's my inner compass. And that's not saying I always follow it, because we do have free will.

Yeah.

And I'm not a saint in that way. But I have that compass where every once in a while, I'll look up and check in and go, oh, I know I'm going the wrong way. But that love, if that love if people understood, and I believed everyone understood that love. Because when I came back, he brought me back. I just, I just thought everyone knew that experience, because people talked about Jesus and love and, and all these things. And there was so much to read about them. Because now I'm looking for where is he in this world, like, and I knew he was here. But I wanted to find him in his house and churches and places of worship. And I wanted to be part of it. And so as I grew up, I realized more and more the, the lack of for so many, and, and it always, it always made me sad for them, because I thought If any, anyone ever knew how much you're loved, you would never feel alone. You would never ever feel alone. So yeah, the skiing accident brought me insights to heaven, insights to my life here. And it led me to choose to become an RN. He didn't tell me to be a nurse. He didn't. You know, beat his chest and point his finger and say, this is what you're going to do. When I was— when I had my experience with Jesus, I realized how much our free will is honored. He's not a controlling God. He's not a— he's not a, you know, he loves what we think and what we feel and what we do. And he gets excited by it when we share. And he gets, he gets happy for us when we, when we follow our own inner guidance along with him. So I knew we had this tremendous free will and, and they support it. You know, they're very supportive. So there is a bigger picture I understood as well. And that, that helped me understand the why You know, people ask why, but, um, why is a tough question because it's such a big picture and there's so many components that are always moving along with our free will and along with heaven's, uh, plans that it, it probably would take a telepathic communication to get that information downloaded quickly. Um, And time here is very short. So I don't know that we can figure out all the whys while we're here. Yeah, I did. I did see angels. I did see Jesus. I experienced councils that I knew there was like a hierarchy and a government that had specific roles. This— it wasn't people flying around and or sleeping, you know, just resting in lounge chairs. There was, there was activity, there was work, there was communities, there were home. It was just very alive, very, very much connecting to here so that it wasn't a big difference. It was just this love and this understanding and lack of judgment and the clarity things just can get done so much easier than here. We have a lot of— I have a lot of struggle here with trying to say what I want to say after having people understand without you really even talking. So, um, anyway, yeah, yeah.

Well, I want to, um, want to ask you a few questions. Um, I understand there was something that preceded this event with you actually even putting the scarf on. Um, so tell me about that. There was, there was a little bit of a conflict there.

Yes. So my— that when I first wrote my story, I almost called it The Entangled Scarf because when we were leaving the house with our skis going for our hike, I— my mother said, put a scarf on, it's cold outside. So we put us— I put a scarf on and I tied it with one loop and swoop. And then she looked over and said, "Tie it again." So I, I thought, "You mean make it into a knot?" She said, "Tie it one more time so it stays, you know, so it's warm." And she came over and tied it and had it bunched up around my neck. And I remember thinking— I never really had a big confrontation with my mother. She was authoritative. And backtalk and all that just didn't go in my house. So my mother said it, you did it, or there was going to be, you know, conflict. So I did it. But I looked at her and I just, I admit, I said, I don't understand why I just didn't want that. So we had this argument. She said, keep it tied. I said, I will not, and I untied it. And this went back and forth. And everyone's watching in our— in my family. And I describe it like, did you ever just get such a strong feeling that you don't want to go somewhere, you don't want to be somewhere, you don't want to wear something or do something, but you don't know why? You mean, you know, I've heard people talk about they don't want to get on an airplane or So that, you know, was such a strong feeling. It became to the point where we weren't going to go. She was saying, well, we're not going to go until you do that. And she said, you're ruining the whole day for everyone. So for me to stand up to that, that instinct was so strong that I did not want that knot. Eventually I had to comply because, you know, they were all wanting to go for this hike and skiing. So I did, but I remember feeling absolutely sick about it.

Yeah.

And little did I know when I was on that hill that I, I tried to put my hand through between my neck and my scarf. And there was— I, I knew in that moment, I have a knot in my scarf. I'm not going to be able to get this out with one hand while it's spinning. Had I had the one, I think I would have had an easier— maybe, I don't know. But I knew that was a sure thing then, having that knot. And so that, that was intuition, I suppose.

And yeah, and that, to me, that brings up a question, because it sounds like it was intuition. But do you feel like this experience— you talked about free will, but did this have to happen? Because it's interesting, you know, you and your mother are having this conflict. But eventually your mother wins out, which I'm assuming is what led to you actually having this experience. Stay with us.

We'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief, most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up. So you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper. Thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry a loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it. The community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing. Listening, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth. I hope to see you there.

Did I think the experience had to happen?

I'm asking at this point, looking back on it.

Wow. I don't, I don't, I don't think so. I don't think so. I think, I think I got a warning. And I think whether it's angels or your guidance, something was warning me. But I didn't have the understanding or education to understand how to overcome what, what someone else was projecting towards me.

Yeah. Well, that's a free will thing, I guess, right? So you have free will.

I wouldn't have done it on my own. But when someone else is overpowering you, you know, they can't stop, you know, I don't know if that can be stopped. But I don't think it had to happen. But I am. Yeah, that's a great question.

Yeah, I was just curious because I, I was just talking with something the other day, and I, I debate this all the time— free will versus, you know, like you said, heaven's plans or determination. And, and it's, it's very— I think it's complicated. I don't think it's one or the other. I think there's kind of a combination of things. So you're, you're, you know, you're 12 years old, you're, you're going up the hill, this, the scarf is tied around you. So I want to help people understand this, and I want to understand it. So you see yourself going to what you feel is your, your imminent death. And from my understanding, the way you just told it, you sustained some pretty serious injuries. It wasn't like you just, you just blacked out, right? Um, so at what— so you— I've heard a lot of times people will like leave their bodies before their death. Is it— do you remember leaving your body, or you just— you were there and then you were somewhere else?

I didn't leave my body, uh, at that time. Um, Not until Jesus came, then I did.

Okay.

But I didn't know I was leaving my body. Because I felt completely whole. And I felt completely like me. And I didn't— there was no change for me except this, this extraordinary love and, and peace and, and all the goodness just wrapped into one, you know, one moment. It was just everything.

So at somehow, some point, the scarf became detached. It came, came off of you, right?

Right. And so I found that out because my grandfather, the engineer, my father, they said that the scarf went through the gears, came out flying on top, that, that hole that came out the top. So this scarf somehow miraculously came off my neck after being so tight it tore all the skin off my neck, and, and it flew. It went through these gears which would have torn it to shreds, and then it came out on top and it flew perfectly straight and perpendicular with no tears in it anywhere. It was like no one had ever worn it. So when they saw that, and they were at the bottom of the hill, they knew there was a great sign of the supernatural. They knew there was so much more going on than, than an engineer could explain. Yeah.

So, so you, you find yourself after you're looking at your, your imminent death, and then you find yourself lying there, and Jesus comes to you. Um, so at this point you felt like you were still in your body, I assume, and you saw Jesus and you see the angels. But did— then they took you to somewhere, right, after you saw them?

Right, right. So when they came and they approached, and, and I didn't know that they were angels, I didn't know what they were. They were— they looked like they had some armor and boots and they had these big wings that definitely were— they looked heavy. And soft at the same time, but they looked like they were on a mission. And so they, they took me— Jesus carried me and they were alongside. And we flew because I remember hearing this— I felt this complete peace and comfort. I remember feeling like I was in a state of almost so much bliss. And then I heard this shrill of a scream. And it almost snapped me out of it, and I looked down, and that's when I saw my mother running like a chicken with her head cut off, just running at the bottom of the hill. I saw my grandfather kneeling by the tree, this tree, and my grandmother behind him, and they believed I— they believed I died because there was no other option. And so, um, I could see them in my mother's pink coat, and I knew that because later we spoke, and they knew that— they just knew, because how would I know that? There's no way you can visually see that from the top of where I was. So we flew, and he took me to— it was a quick flight. We were there, landed safe. I sat on his lap under this big tree that, you know, later in life, I read things and I go, oh, was that that tree? So for me, it's all reverse learning things I saw. Now when I see things, I go, oh, that's what that was. And that's been over my lifetime. So it's always really magical. And I, I remember seeing that tree and that tree had wisdom. It was so wise. And I I say that because I remember it, you could— it looked— well, I've seen pictures in California where the trees are so big you can walk inside, have like a— it was almost like that. And it had— and then I remember, so I have to piece it together to make it relatable to things I've seen here. Like, I've seen things here where, like, I watched Harry Potter and they had a sorting hat and it could, it could tell which one So this tree had that, that, that ability to decide if someone was— and what it was deciding was your truth. Are you telling— are you being open and truthful? By— or because they know everything about you, but people still try to say, no, I didn't do that, or no, that wasn't me. And this— and I watched because we sat there, and I remember thinking, there was a— I don't think I wrote this in the book, but I think there was someone, I felt like he might have been a thief or something, but he was traveling through. And, and they didn't let him— something happened, he went down somewhere. And it wasn't— I didn't see fire or anything like that. But he wasn't going farther than the tree in that moment. Maybe later, maybe someone else approached, I don't know. But it It was, it was wisdom. So the only thing I've ever read was that there's, you know, the Tree of Knowledge. So I thought, well, and it was very much, you know, had ability to do that. But I didn't, I didn't actually write about that.

Yeah. So, um, so you, you fly with Jesus and the angels, and you come to this other place. And then I understand you then encountered some more beings.

Yeah, so when we got there, um, because I said I have to go back— when once I saw my mother screaming at the bottom of the hill, it was like I snapped into a different, um, state of mind. And I said, I, I have to go back. My mother will never make it without me. She cannot survive. She will not make it. And I said, look at her. She— look at that. She was just a mess running around. So, and I was, you know, after the war and everything, I knew what it meant. You know, my mother always told me that, you know, what a blessing and what I was because she never could have kids. It was just a whole thing. So I, I saw this panic. So I asked them, you know, and, and they weren't prepared for that. I could, I felt like they were like, really, you know, are you sure? And so when I got there, a council came, and I was sitting on Jesus' lap, and we were having, you know, a nice visit. And this council came, and I call it a council now. When I was a child, I just thought it was people, beings, they got together and they, they huddled, you know, they talked and they, but they all had the same kind of like a cloak. And, and so they were official. And then I realized that they, they couldn't, they just, they were miffed by it. They were just miffed. They're like, really, does she really want to go back? Is that possible? Would that be okay? There was a lot of discussion. And I knew in that time that I talked about free will, I knew in that time that they were seriously considering what my heart was communicating. And they didn't ignore it. And they didn't ignore me. And they didn't make me feel like they're the all-powerful and I'm nobody. They made me feel like we're going to make this absolutely best choice for everyone. And it wasn't ever felt like I was overpowered. I just knew that they were wiser than me, and that they were going to consider a bigger picture. So they couldn't— they had limits. And, and I realized this when I became a nurse, we have a scope of practice. And we do everything we possibly can to save someone's life, but within our scope of practice, then we might have to call in you know, another team or a specialist or, you know, other people. So that's how it felt. So they, they reached their limit with me. And, and I smile because, you know, I guess I was the problem child. But then came another council and I, and I thought, oh boy, like, who are these guys? Where are you? And they just came from different towns. So it was almost like community leaders. I don't, I don't know. I think here we try to emulate government in some ways, sometimes like heaven.

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So they had their, their people who were, you know, in charge of these, this particular issue. And they came in, now there were more, and they had different colored cloaks. Everything looked very realistic, very official. It wasn't anything, you know, that I would think like, wow, I'm on another planet or something like that. It just was beautiful and loving and extraordinary. So now they had their job to do. And again, there were questions and they were communicating with me and each other. And they again, they had a limit of what they could do. And we still, we were at a crossroad, like, what are we going to do? What, what are we gonna do with her?

So you were saying you want to come back? And they were like, well, we're not sure if this is—

we're not. Yeah, we're not so sure that that's the best thing for you. Like, or they just— they listened. There was a lot of telepathic communication. So everything was listened to, my heart, my, my mind, their all this information was beyond anything I've ever experienced here, um, in how well they, they collaborate. Here we do our best to collaborate, but we have ego and all these other factors that come in. There it's a pure collaboration. It comes from a place of pure love, wisdom, and it's, it's, it— there's no No smoke and mirrors, everything's clear. So that group, I could see the other, the first group I could see was relieved when the second council came in. And they all gathered and talked and, and then the second group I could see now they called in even more. So more kept coming. And I thought, oh, there's more. And then, and, and Jesus was very patient and just sitting and we were talking and It was just— and then finally, I guess they were still stuck with what was going to happen, or not stuck isn't the right word, but analyzing. So along came— they had to wake this other being, and he was an older man. And I say a man because he had me just study his face, and it was very chiseled. And I didn't know who he was. But he actually put his arms under my arms, under my armpits, kind of from behind, and he just sort of glided me around really fast to show me what I thought looked like universities or libraries or houses of information, to let me know intelligence, how intelligent all this is, because he's showing me old because I think he wanted me to equate age with wisdom. And then all those places of records or films, or— he just let me know that everything is taken into consideration, everything. And our understanding, he let me know, he taught me so many things in a very short time. And they come out as I, as I grew older, not at 12. But in my adult life, these things would just keep unfolding, where I recognized, and it was usually would unfold. When I was helping someone else, I would get that information or knowledge. And I would, I would have better words to say to the person maybe, or better, because of course, I didn't tell people what happened to me, but I communicated as a, as a nurse or as a friend. Mother, whatever. So it was, it was amazing what— and I learned that there's like levels of that, we're all at different stages of growth, we're at different stages of learning. And so they showed me by these different councils and all these levels that there's just, you think you know everything, but there's always more. There's always more to know. And that I may not know why or anything, but, but there, but there is a system that does, and that it will perfectly fit to what's best for me, and for you and for everyone. It, it, it does the absolute best with what's happened. And sometimes it is from our free will. And they're trying to heal it, put it back together, fix it, move it along. It's a work in progress. So it was really interesting. As a child, it just, it just didn't all come through in one. You know, when I brought it here, I didn't really need all that right away. But as I grew up, it would all come through. Wow. Yeah. So Does.

So they wake up the older, wiser person. And is that who you finally convinced to let you come back?

No, no, no, no. I didn't feel like I had, and I didn't feel like I had to convince them. I felt like when they knew, they knew. And I, and I trusted them completely that, that they, you know, when you really trust someone, you just know they're going to make the right, just, they're going to work with you, they're going to work with you. They're not trying to. So he was, nobody wanted to wake him. He was pretty grouchy and serious. And he was more of a heavy, you know, he was heavy. He was like, you know, don't bother me unless you really know, you know, don't come to me unless you really have to. Like he's very specific in his role. And I thought, oh great, you know. And so he— yeah, and so later in life, I, I was out somewhere, and I was an adult. And I remember hearing a name. And I was actually watching the Olympics with friends. And it was a couple years back. And I hear this name. And I said, that's, that's him. And I couldn't share because I hadn't explained all this to my friends. I said, how do you spell that? How do you spell that? So they said this name, and, and why would we be talking about that in the Olympics? I don't remember. It just was random. And so they said Melchizedek, and I didn't know how to spell that, or who is that. So anyway, there's very little written, but from, from what I experienced there, that's, that's who that was.

So, um, so you said it was— sounds like it was a collaborative thing. We're trying to figure out what's the best thing for Suzanne and for everyone.

They consider everyone involved. Um, they really do. And even back probably to your ancestors, because they have the records of everything, and you're all connect— we're all connected. And I really knew that we have families and we love each other, but we're were not designed to be ripped apart, never to see each other again. That, that would not be the, the point of anything. So to them, the separation is not very long because time there is different. So the separation there is quick. The separation here is a lot longer, right? Because we, we feel like, you know, day by day, but there it's the time is just so much different.

So, um, so at what point was it decided you were coming back? And what did that look like? What happened?

Okay, so after, after Melchizedek came back, and he showed me everything, and I felt like he, he was letting them know, I did my best. I don't know. And he was kind of like, I don't know, I did my best. They were all standing there going, you know, I don't know, they they weren't at a conclusion. And then I remember Jesus looking at me, and I was looking at him. And then we both looked over and there was like this mount— mountains, or it was like a hillside. And then over that hill, this big golden light just came over and it just came towards us. And I, I thought it looked like a hand because to me it felt like it was coming you're reaching, but it was this big light. And then Jesus and that light, they, they became one light. And then that light of gold, that makes any sense. But they were gold, it was this gold light. He connected with it, it touched him first, that connected, and then my heart. And then he looked at me. And they had said to me right before that, right before that came, because they were like, we don't know. And they said, are you sure you want to go back? You're going to have pain. We can't promise anything, you know, like, let's face it here, you know, we're not guaranteed. You know, we don't know. So they weren't promising me a free ride. They were like, well, you know, we don't know. And so, are you sure? And they were, you know, you sure, sweetheart? They kept saying, are you sure? And I said, yes, I'm 100% sure she, she will not make it. I have to. And they were just like, wow, you know, I don't know about that. So then that golden light came. I believe that was the permission when Jesus actually became, you know, Jesus and God are one. So it became one, then he let me know he was all that. I mean, I knew right away, but then I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, so that's the ultimate, the one, you know, that's, that's it. And so that, that was the God light, like that was God, Jesus, all combined, it just boom, and then there, and there was a smile. And he let me know everything would be all right, he would stay with me.. But I wasn't afraid. They didn't scare me. They just, you know, it was kind of realistic. And they didn't scare me or anything. And I made the decision. And they— God said, okay. And, and so I came back and, and I was very, very badly injured. So they actually— Yeah.

So you, so you, you, at that point, did you fly back down? Or did you just find yourself back in your body?

No, he actually carried me back.

Okay.

And, and so when people say they separated from their body, I still felt like I had a body because he was like holding me like you'd hold your child and carried me back. So we came back. And I had the best time there. So we came back and I thought, okay, he's gonna stay with me longer. And, and he did until my parents and, and helpers. We didn't have 911 back then or cell phones. So it was a long time before help arrived. And it was only like a volunteer because we were in the middle of nowhere. And so I think they— I know they had to have done a spontaneous sort of healing as far as me being able to have any type of movement. Because I had broken my neck and I had many, many injuries. And I had big— I mean, I was really, really mangled.

Right.

So everywhere—

and I remember you, when you were— I heard you tell the story that you, you calculated, I guess, your engineering family, that it took them 45 minutes to reach you on a sunny day.

Yeah.

So, you know, yeah.

So, so what did it feel like in terms of the time that you were gone from your body? Was there any sense of time when you were, when you were gone? Or It was 45 minutes here.

That's a good question. So the calculation was, was definitely for friends, family, and loved ones so that, you know, you could get a sense of it and, and be part of it. The, the time for me felt— sometimes it feels like a moment, and sometimes it feels like years. I mean, I couldn't even put it all together because the, the ability to express and communicate and, and see everything and the knowledge and the language— it— imagine if, if like we just looked at each other and I knew everything about you and you knew everything about me and you completely trusted me. We had no no hidden agenda, no anything. And, and the ability to, to communicate with your eyes was— it was extraordinary. So they have time for that. Time just flies by. It just flew by and you do so much more. Here we take forever to get something done. And You know, it's hurry up and wait, and, and, and we work really fast, and we work overtime and double time, but there they get it done, and, and with humor and love. And, and, and so it wasn't stressful, right? It was more— but they definitely have a system, a working system. And I, I used to joke with my friends and say, you know, now that they retire, some people, I'm like, yeah, well Or they'll say, rest in peace. I'm like, guess what? You're going to be working on it. There's more to do. Like, you're not sitting back. You're going to be involved.

Yeah. And yeah, so, so you're, you're, you're— and I understand when, when you came back and your body was about the time that your, your parents, your mother was arriving, and your mother witnessed something as she wrote, as she arrived there, didn't she?

Right. So she came up the hill and Now she's exhausted, and they reach the top of the hill and she sees me. And originally at the bottom, my grandmother held her from coming to the top. She said no one should see their daughter like that, dead. You know, they thought I was dead. So they said no one should see. I believe I died in there somewhere, I, to some level of death and whatever. And they So my mother, my grandmother said, don't go. None of them came right away. They waited for help. You don't need to see that. It's gonna be too gross. You know, just wait for help. So my— when they did come, my mother got to the top of the hill expecting to see no movement, no talking, no life. And she said, she sees me talking. She's, who was talking to you? And who are you talking to? And she's going, did anyone else hear that? Did you hear that? Right? You heard that. And And I'm saying, yeah, you know, and, and, and my mother's like, look at her, you know, she's smiling, she's laughing. What is going on? They— and all this blood. And so it doesn't make sense to us, like, how you could see your child completely mangled and in this pool of blood. Like, that alone could give you a stroke or heart attack right there. And, and so for her to see me smiling and, and talking and about, you know, Jesus was just here. And, and they're thinking, Jesus, like, what? So it was a quick thing. And, and she immediately, they were more concerned with my physical, you know, nobody turn her, nobody touch her, we need this, we need that. And then that all started. And I kept— and they drove me to the hospital in a car because we didn't have 911. We didn't have an ambulance service yet. And we didn't even have a hospital in that area. So we had to go all the way to New York from Pennsylvania in the snowstorm on the highway. So while we were driving, I remember his name was Steve, and he had a blue light. He was a volunteer. And I'm in the backseat, my mother is holding it together. I know she's just thinking, just get me to the hospital. And I'm still telling her, and she's saying, shh, you know, like, that's enough, no more, we're not going to talk about this. You need your rest. Don't talk about it when we get there. I don't want to hear anymore. Like, just real quick, she hushed it all up, right? So in that moment, I just trusted that probably wasn't good for me, I should stop talking about it. And, and then when we got there, She actually, I think she had a nervous breakdown or something. They gave her some medication. We were both on stretchers. And I saw her go another direction. And, and so she, she made it there. And then I was talking to everybody and the doctors and nurses. It looked like it was a Catholic hospital. And I, and I see all these nuns. And there's like a sea of nuns now.. And so they had, they had recognized the physical miracle, because there was no explanation why I would even be able to speak or why I was alive. It didn't fit. Didn't fit.

So in terms of your injuries, without getting, you know, really gruesome, but you said, did you say you had broken your neck?

Yeah, my, my cervical spine. Now, at I'm an RN. And believe me, I wish I had those records. When I, I knew there was a paralysis. I remember there was a paralysis. And when I went home, I couldn't walk or anything. So there was this paralysis. So I knew my neck. Even now, like, I knew that was healed. I knew, I knew it was broken. And I knew it was healed. And the paralysis continued even when I was home. And then there was another miraculous healing somewhere where I just got up and walked to the bathroom. And everybody— again, my mother, you know, she, she just— that poor woman. So she— yeah, so she said, why are you— what's going on? And anyway, I had two on the sides of my head were hit so badly, they were the size of baseballs, not a softball, but a baseball on my temples. And later I worked in the brain and spinal cord injury unit. And I had seen the— what that trauma really does. And the fact that I had no internal bleeding, I had no I mean, they were just miffed by the whole thing, that type of swelling and all of that. It just— so I knew there was spontaneous healing going on as time was going on, because I recovered rather quickly. And I became a gymnast within like the following year. My, my mother thought, you know, just get her the gym mat, because this girl, she was so nervous because she said she was just all twisted up, broke her neck, broke her, you know, and now she wants to risk it all again. But, but I felt, I felt good. And, and, and so for whatever reason, I was given that level of healing.

So I understand that your mother, even after witnessing, you know, what she did with the, the voice at the top of the, of the hill and, uh, seeing your recovery, your mother swore you to secrecy.

Yeah, she really did. And, and she, she said it was my second birthday. It was January 19th, and we celebrated every year that was my second birthday. She didn't want me to tell anyone. I don't think she trusted people. And she also didn't want any— want me to relive my death. Because for me, that's still— even though I can talk about it, because I want to share the part with, with heaven, with people, as, as, as a, as a mission and a thank you to God for everything, but but to the experience, I still, you know, have a lot of trauma from it. And, and, and she didn't want me to have night— you know, the PTSD. She just— she was just trying to contain that to the point where they tore that, that whole ski lift down. And they— my mother, they— everyone told my parents to sue the the hell. And I remember going to a lawyer. And my mother, they— I remember they offered her, like, I don't know, back then it was like millions of dollars. And she said, nope, I don't want her on a stand. I don't want her talking about it. I want her to have a normal life. And, and so in that, I realized it wasn't safe to talk about her for me, for others. I thought, I've got to just move on. And I can't share this because I could get sick from it. Or, you know, I just trusted her that she said no, you know, and then I said, never. And she said, not while I'm alive. And so I started writing my book right after she died. And truthfully, and it took me about 6 years because I was also working as a nurse and And I wrote it in my bathroom by myself because I didn't want any influences in my life to— so yeah, I did honor that.

Well, I think it's important for people to remember the timeframe because the term near-death experience is common now. But the time this happened to you, Raymond Moody was just writing his first book and coining the term. So nobody knew about this.

Nobody knew. And, and I really thought everyone knew. And, and so I had to learn how to integrate it into my everyday life, you know, with friendships. And, and I remember my mother having to guard me because I came back wide open and I would give you anything I had. I had no sense of boundaries. I would give, I would, I just, everyone felt like my family, like I just didn't understand enough So there was a lot of protection. I had to learn a lot of boundaries as a preteen, and then into my teenagers where everyone wants to be the same and fit in. It wasn't a great time. I couldn't talk to a friend, or, you know, you don't want to be the freak, or the— what is she talking about? You know. So I did learn after, you know, that God does have a bigger plan, because now when I speak about it, You know, I've, I've had a lifetime as a science professional. And so I have that integrated. And I, and I've lived a life where I'm paid to make good decisions and choices. And so for me to speak about it now, I don't have that fear of, you know, as you do as a child, where if your mom says it's not good for you, and, and she would always say, like, nobody loves you more than your mother. You know, and no one's going to protect you more than your mother. And your, you know, your mother knows, and your mother this and your mother. And so in that generation, you, you really— it was different. It was different. You know, you listened. Yeah, it meant a lot, meant everything.

Well, there are a lot of people even today, adults that have NDEs and don't feel comfortable sharing it. And it might take— and I've been to— I was telling you before, I think we started on the air. I've been in several IANDS meetings, and people, they barely share in front of each other. Right? It's so taboo. Yeah. So I appreciate you, you being brave enough to come out and tell us because it's, it's very healing for people to hear this. Because we do sometimes we feel like we're alone. We feel like this doesn't make any sense. When our loved ones pass, you know, like I was telling you before, my daughter's passed away. And, you know, am I really going to see them again? Are they, are they really okay? Because even with our religion, it's like, is it really true?

Right?

We want to know, we want to know.

Because it's hard here. And, and, and it's easy to— you take a few really strong hits in life, and it's easy to just keep going down a notch. And, and I remember This is a great thing that happened. I, I just wrote my book. And I was at a fair here in my town. It's— it had like 100,000 people. It's an annual event. So I did a book signing. And this young man, he was in a wheelchair. There was so many people, the streets are crowded, the roads are blocked off. It's 100,000 people. He found my little booth. And apparently he was in a coma. He had been declared clinically dead. He was in an accident. He was in a coma for a very long time. I think it was over a month or two. He— long time. And he hadn't talked about anything. He was still full of injury. I— his little wheelchair found— he was about 19 or 20. Found my booth. And he saw my story. And you know, the book. And he stood up and he was with his family. And he walked towards me. And we immediately hugged because I saw this light in his eyes, a total stranger, but I saw that gold light. I said, I know where you've been. And he said, and I know where you've been. And he hugged me. And when he hugged me, he said, I could stay here forever. And then, and then he stood back and I said, you didn't want to come back, did you? And he goes, no. And he said, I was there. And I saw Jesus, you know, I was with Jesus. And I saw my grandfather and we were sitting on a hill. And I was talking to my sister because she died the year before. I think, I don't know, I don't remember. Anyway, he was sitting with them. He said, I was, I was having a really good time. I didn't need to come back. And because I was with my family, I was good. And, and he said, but then my sister said, you better go back if you can. If Jesus holds his hand out when he comes by, you better take it and go because, because Mom, you know, just lost me. She's not gonna be able to lose you too. His grandfather said, you have to. And he said, no, no. And they both said to him, take his hand if you can, if he gives you the He reaches for you, take it. So he said he did. And then he looked at me and he said, what do I do with all this? Yeah, this, he was riding a motorcycle or something. He wasn't a, he was a little bit on the rough side. So he was like, what do I do with all this? And because I said, well, thank you for, for, you know, sharing. And he said, But what do I do with all this? And I said, don't ask me, because I'm still trying to figure it out. And we just laughed. And he said, because I— he said, thank you for helping me about 1,000 times. And I said, no, you helped me too. And he said, how do I help you? And I said, just, just by being here. I'm not alone. Like, now I know, you know, I've met some. And so sharing really is so powerful. In, you know, in support groups, it's so powerful.

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's important for, for you guys to be able to share. But it's also really important for us. I personally believe that the near-death experiences have so much wisdom for all of us. And I've heard people say, I don't make this mistake anymore. But I've heard people say, I wish I had a near-death experience. Because it does bring so much wisdom and stuff, but it does come with the trauma.

And so a lot of trauma. And that young man, he was in so much pain. His body was still very— I could feel the dampness of— he was still damp. And you could— and, and I knew he was uncomfortable because he was just placed back in it. When you leave, you get put back in. And so I I knew he was like, oh, here we go with all this aches and pains. And, you know, but meeting me, and then when he spoke, his family started crying because now they heard him out loud say he didn't want to come back. So now they're thinking, oh, you know, does he not love us? Does he love his grandpa more? And it's just not like that. It's about being in the moment. Where you are in the moment of your life is, is, is the focus. Being alive is a gift. And so when we have that much pain, we just have to look at that. I try to stay and live in the moment. Because it's so powerful and healing when we appreciate the day, just the day, just the hour. And when you're on the other side, you're truly in the moment. So it's all time.

And yeah, and I know I've talked to people who have made the decision to come back and then kind of regretted it. Because, because it is, it is hard here. But I appreciate the fact that you have, and I appreciate you being here to tell your story, to give hope to so many people that again, it for me, I've been studying NDEs for 20, 30 years, and I never get tired of hearing them. Because sometimes we think, oh, it sounds too good to be true.

You know, it's, you know, you know what a blessing you are for, for someone like me to know, like, where did you come from to know to do this to help others?

You're—

the fact that you have a platform for others is is tremendous. I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. And I know you feel this because what you're doing didn't come from an NDE, but it comes from a place of love and love for your daughter. And, and, and it's a— it's just that smile behind you to me speaks like she is with you all the time. Like, she's like, go, Dad, go, Dad. So It's, it's a really beautiful thing that you do and help in helping others as well. As much as I am, you are. Without you, my story wouldn't reach people.

Well, thanks. I, you know, I was talking with someone, I was interviewing someone yesterday, and she's like, you know, thanks for what you do and share what you'd say. And I'm like, I don't have a choice. It's like, you know, you were, you were talking earlier, we have free will. That I don't have free will when it comes to this. I think the is—

it's guide. Yes.

Yeah, this is what I'm here to do. Yeah. And I've been very fortunate that, you know, people like you have been put, put into my path. And we were talking earlier about, you know, IANDS. I've gotten connected with that organization. And I think this is just such an important message, because I believe the problems in the world are because we've forgotten who we are. The people don't realize that we're divine beings that aren't from here. We're just here for a little while. And Your, your story helps me so much because there are times it's like, I don't want to be doing this, but I know it's a limited amount of time, right? I know that. And from the other side, they're like, you're fine. You're only there for a little while.

It's just a bump in a bruise. You'll be okay. They're, they're, you know, I get so much help. And I, I tell the story because I ask all the time for help. If it's my car keys, And I know I've been to places of worship and people talk about, you know, the death of Christ or the death of this, and I know the significance is tremendous in that. But on the other part of it, there's so much joy. There's tremendous joy, like childlike joy, like dance, music, love, laughter. After is really what he's wanting you to have here. You know, listen to more music, you know, be with your friends, but help another person. All those things are truly life, you know. And, and on the other side too, it's just there. Wow, you know, we cut through a lot of the, the boundaries aren't there. So you're like, things are open, you're more open.

Yeah, well, you know, the thing is about where we are, and I love what you just said, you know, there's good and bad here, you know, there, and we can choose what we focus on. And when we realize that the bad is only temporary, then we can, then we can choose to focus on the good. And that's really what I've been working on for the last however many years it's been now, but really choosing to focus on what do we have that, you know, while we're here, there's so much, there's so much stuff that we can do. And the bad stuff, we just have to get through, and we will.

And together, yeah, we can get through it together. We can get through it, you know, and you can ask for help. You know, and people talk to me, and I say, you know, when I ask for help, I just talk. I don't have— for me, it was, it was extraordinary. And and so many— so intelligent, but at the same time, it's simple. You don't have to be a cookie-cutter person or fit into a certain box. They love you the way you are. You don't have to look or act or be a certain way, or they look— everything about you is unique and original and special. And, and we do that here. It doesn't come from, from anywhere else but here. And so it's absolutely great to meet like-minded people who, who get it. And, and it's great to share because, like that young man who shared with me, even though I've had my experience, you know, that was tremendous for me. I was like, yeah, you know, we were just so happy. And to know it's okay to say I met Jesus. And, and I always wondered about that too. I thought, wow, doesn't he get a bad rap here sometimes? And Jesus is, you know, I used to feel bad because I thought, what are people doing to him? You know, he came so simple.

He—

love is simple. It's just love, love, love. And there's no other question about it. It's simple. You can talk to him, ask him. He'll guide you if you want to. I put my free will down sometimes. I'm like, just take— tell me what you want me to do. I'll do it. And he just smiles like, you know. And that's how this started. I was sitting on my bed talking to my husband. He was on a Zoom meeting. And he said, you know, what are you thinking? And I said, you know, my daughter has a chronic illness. And I said, I think she's feeling a little better these days. Maybe I can— I think I might be ready to do more. I thought, I'll just write a book, put it out there, and I can just go about my life. And if someone wants to pick it up, fine. If not, fine. My children have it. My friends have it.

Yeah.

You know, but you know, where it'll go wherever it needs to go. I didn't write it to be an author and, you know, and all that. I just wrote it to help. And then I said, I think I could do more. Within 24 hours, the phone rings and there's these people lined up from this community just saying, welcome.

Yeah.

Yeah. What do you want to do? And I thought, everything.

Awesome. I appreciate you answering the call. Um, let's just say we're just about out of time. I want to give you a chance to say anything you'd like to say before we sign off for the day.

Wow. If only people knew how much, you know, Jesus loved them and that heaven is real. It's the realest thing I, I know. And that love is real. And it's the most powerful thing I know. So just even though sometimes the world sounds like, you know, all these bad things are happening, I guarantee you, there's a lot of good things at work. Just keep your heart open. Just keep it open.

Thanks. I want to tell people how they can get your book. It's My Secrets from Heaven. It's on Amazon, right? And it's by Suzanne, S-U-S-A-N-N-E. A-N-N-E Seymour, and it's S-C-Y-M-O-U-R-E. Um, and Suzanne, are you open to people contacting you on Facebook or anything?

Yeah, that would be fine. Okay, I'm on Facebook, Suzanne Seymour. I'm, I'm definitely open to— if anyone wants to drop me a note or, or, um, anytime, I'm definitely open.

I, I really, really appreciate you being here. It was great meeting you today, and, uh, enjoy the rest of your day, Suzanne.

You too. I feel really lucky to have met you as well. Thank you.

Thanks for listening to Grief to Growth. Brian hopes that you find this episode helpful, and will come back for future episodes. Brian's bestselling book, Grief to Growth: Planted, Not Buried, is a great resource for anyone who is coping with grief or knows someone who is. If you enjoy the podcast and would like to support it, there are 3 things you can do to help. The first is to share the podcast with someone that you think it will help. The second is to go to iTunes, rate and review the episode. The third way you can support the podcast is by becoming a patron. Head over to www.patreon.com/grieftogrowth. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/grief. The number 2, growth, and sign up to make a small monthly donation. Patrons get access to exclusive bonus content and knowledge that you are helping to spread the message of grief to growth. For more about Brian and grief to growth, visit www.grieftogrowth.com.

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