Unleashing Your Limitless Potential with Ray Catania EP 345

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet. I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you. I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you.

When I meet her, this man, and this is the first time I'm ever seeing an energy as a— in, in human form, right? So it's kind of— this is, this is different than anything I've ever seen before as a child or in that house or in the apartment after the NDE, um, because I've, I've seen the lines, I've seen the swirlies, I've seen the energy, but I've never seen it where it formed an individual. And it was like a movie screen had opened up in my mind. It's not my eyes, it's not my ears. It's like on a movie screen. I see it all in my third eye. And the movie plays, but the movie's talking to me. And the man that comes to me, he says the same thing over and over. He says, I effed up.

Everybody, welcome to Grief to Growth. Whether it's your first time tuning in or you're a familiar face in our growing community, I want to let you know I'm your host, Brian D Smith, and you're listening to the Grief to Growth podcast. We're dedicated to exploring the intricacies of life, understanding our place in the universe, and discovering paths to personal growth.. And today we've got a really inspiring episode lined up for you. Joining us today is Ray Catania, and Ray is an acclaimed author. He's a metaphysical teacher and a coach with a story that's really miraculous. He's a survivor of a near-death experience, and he's transformed his outlook on life and has since been on a mission to help others unlock their full potential. His approach is a blend of scientific theories and personal insights, much like my own, and he aims to empower individuals to harness the power of their minds to create their own realities and embrace the concept of being limitless. He's the mind behind the groundbreaking Awakening series, including titles like The Atheist and the Afterlife, You Are Still Alive, Let Now Act Like It. And his work delves deep into scientific spiritualism and the practical applications of metaphysics, and that guide many on their journey to spiritual awakening and self-discovery. Through his books and his private practice, he offers profound insights and intuitive guidance for anyone looking to navigate the complexities of spirituality and growth. So in today's episode, I plan to explore with Ray themes like the scientific spirituality for success, transformative power of the mind, the steps to spiritual awakening, and the principles that govern our ability to achieve and to ascend. And I'm hoping he's going to share his insight on the dynamic interplay of the law of attraction, the understanding our, our egoic mind and how changing our mindset can fundamentally change our lives. So join us for the conversation, and then afterwards, head on over to grieftogrowth.com/community to continue the conversation there. So with that, I want to welcome to Grief to Growth, Ray Catania.

Brian, thank you so much. It is an honor and a privilege to be with you today. Thank you.

Yeah, like I said, I'm really looking forward to talking to you today. We talked about— we saw each other at IONS this past September and didn't get a chance to really talk, but I've heard you a couple times and I'm really fascinated by your approach to life. But I know you got started, I think, on the spiritual path with a near-death experience. So tell me about that.

Yeah, um, so my, uh, near-death experience, um, I was 20 years old at the time that it happened. And, uh, just to give you a little bit of background, just before that, uh, the childhood that I had was kind of tumultuous. Uh, I came from a family that was a little, um,, you know, dysfunctional, if you will. And, and there was a lot of drama and trauma. So, uh, leading up to that experience, when I, when I eventually did have it, what happened was, is there— I was still living with my parents, and I was on the second floor where I, where I was sleeping, and the first floor is where the kitchen was. And, um, the stove was leaking gas. It was natural gas, and the gas was raising up into my room. So while I was sleeping, I was actually breathing it in, and no one really knew this, um, at the time. In the morning, my mother got up to just kind of click on the stove, I guess, to make breakfast or what have you. And there was a big, you know, fireball that caught the wall on fire, and there was smoke also going upstairs. But it wasn't the fire and it wasn't the smoke that created the problem. It was actually the gas that I had already been inhaling for a long time. So I heard the fire trucks come, I heard the police department, and I hear all this noise downstairs. And so I try to get up out of bed to see what's going on down. Stairs. And I find that so parts of my body, just like I can't really move them, they feel almost like paralyzed. Like my legs felt like they weighed 1,000 pounds. Uh, my head, I couldn't get it up off the pillow. It was just— it was crazy. I couldn't yell, uh, for help. Um, so I knew something was, was really wrong. Didn't know exactly what, just knew I had to get out of that bed. And I started to kind of pull myself to the side to the best of my ability. I, I I inched myself, inched myself until I got to the edge of the bed finally, and I tumbled out and landed face first. And, and, and I know that I hit face first, like, I felt it. But the crazy thing about it was, is I didn't feel any pain when I hit the floor. There wasn't any pain. And that's because I was not in the body any longer. I was above it in the corner of the room looking diagonally down at my lifeless body laying on the floor face down. And in the moment, for some reason, this is not scary. I don't know why it's not scaring me, but it's not. It actually feels fantastic, uh, euphoric even, if you will. And adjacent to me in the corner, the, the opposite corner, is a huge beautiful white light, and it's like a spotlight light that's shining on my energetic self, not my dead self, but my energetic self. And, uh, I'm able to— it's on me and I can go into it like a tunnel. And there's a being at the end of this light that's telling me, it's okay, Ray, you can come into the light. It's assuring me it's okay. Um, and I, and, and, and I didn't really trust anyone or anything, but for some reason I felt like um, I could go into this light. And the more I inched my way in, I got a couple of feet in, that euphoria increased, um, and I felt just— there's no pain, there's no emotional stress, there's no, um, everything is just removed that is negative from the human experience, right? All types of pain and suffering are alleviated in this state, and all you feel is this pure euphoria and love from this light. And I feel like I'm part of the light, like it's not separate from me. I'm interwoven with this light, and I, I want to go into it. I, I further— I continue down, uh, into further into the light. But what happens is, is my father comes rushing in the room, kicks open the door, and he finds me on the ground. And he's— and he scoops me up, and he's yelling for the paramedics. And, and I'm watching him, and he's crying, and he's distraught and, uh, just, you know, yelling, like I said, for the paramedics and for help. And, and to see him feel that way about me— we didn't have a good relationship, um, really at all— and to see that and witness that was something that I really kind of, I longed for. He probably hugged me 5 times in his life, and one of them is when I'm dead, and I can't even remember the other 4. So I mean, it's just like, it's, it's, it's a, a beautiful moment for me. Um, so I kind of more or less started negotiating. Like, I felt like I was at— I was asking to go back. Um, I said, I can't leave him like that, you know. Um, you know, making it about him, thinking I'm gonna get back if I— you know, I don't know what I'm thinking. I'm just— I want to go back in this moment because I want to hug my father, right? Um, and I wake up and I'm not in that room anymore. I'm on the living room floor, and I'm face up. I'm on my back. The paramedics are on top of me now, and they're doing whatever it is that they do with all their equipment And, um, I wake up and, and I'm, and, and, and I'm like, guys, I feel great, you know, stop, I'm good. I like, I, I feel fantastic. That euphoric feeling is still throughout, you know, I can still feel it. Um, and, and, um, so I'm trying to explain to them I feel great, and they're like, you're not great, you're seriously not great, so just lay down. Bring up the truck, bring up the truck. They're saying, they're talking about the ambulance, bring it up, let's go, we got to get him in. And I'm like, but did you, did you hear the voice? Did you see the light? Like, I'm all excited And they're looking at each other like, "All right, this guy's either on drugs or he's crazy." And I know to shut up at this point because I'm going to wind up in the wrong hospital and I'm not going to be able to check out. So I just shut up and let them do their thing and take me down and, you know, do what they have to do. But, you know, having the childhood that I had and telling other people that, you know, I could see, feel energy, telling him about the near-death experience, uh, coming from this Christian home where this is absurd, it's ridiculous, um, I'm out of my mind. I instantly just kept my mouth closed. And, and, and, and what I did, although I think, Brian, in the back of my mind, like, I knew what I saw, I found a way to justify it away. Logically. Um, and I— and this is how I did it exactly. The— I, I fell in front of a window. This is true. I fell right in front of a window, and the sun was probably shining, and I credited that— that's the white light, right? And I inhaled so much gas that I was hallucinating, and that was the voice, and that was, you know, everything else that I saw and heard. So I, I held on to that, and I rejected any type of religion. It didn't matter if my parents were Christian or Muslim or what they were. I was going to reject the religion anyway because I rebelled against them. Um, and so I called myself an atheist. I probably didn't even know what that was at the time, but I believed in nothing. So I'm trying to hold on to atheism even after I have that experience. Stay with us, we'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief— most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up, so you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper, thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast, essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry a loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it: the community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing, listening learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become, a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth. I hope to see you there. Yeah, it's really interesting, because I always say atheists— atheism could be as much of a religion as any other ism. You know, people, it's that, that's that mindset that we hold on to. And what you just said, it sounds like a very, very rational explanation, right? I saw the light, I was hallucinating, I had the gas. So at what point did that seem more real to you, or did you start to accept the reality of it?

So immediately what started happening, and this is within a year's time or even in that year, um, I move out, I get my first apartment, and, um, I'm thinking, you know, this is my bachelor pad and we're gonna have parties every night and it's going to be wonderful. I mean, all my friends over, we have chicks and whatever. And I move into this place, and from the moment I move in, I remember the day I was just moving some of my stuff in, and it just felt like there were others in the room with me. There's no one present, there's nobody there. I mean, I'm looking in every room because I hear things and I think somebody's there, and I feel like there's a presence right between me and the wall. And it— and I see the lines going flashing by, and I see the energies, the swirlies, out of the corner of my eye. And, and you can feel like the pressure, you know. You know that feeling when you're just— you're being watched and you turn around and sure enough there's somebody there? But I turned around and saw nothing. It was a wall. And, and this would go on and on and on and on. And then all the electrical appliances in the place would malfunction. They would go on, they would go off. My phone would be cut off. Uh, uh, well, and these are landlines back in these days, right? Cell phones are just coming out. I don't, I don't have one yet. And, you know, we're on landlines. And I remember, like, in jest, fooling around with my friend, saying, hey man, I think my I call him back and I said, why'd you hang up on me? Because I didn't hang up on you, you hung up on me. And I said, no, no, you— I said, well, forget about it anyway. I really think my house is haunted. Click. And so now I'm calling the maintenance guy, having him look at the alarm system, uh, the TV, and, and he's like, you're crazy, kid. There's nothing wrong with your place. Never call me again. This is, you know, you're out of your mind. And I became the crazy guy in the building, right? So I move out of that place and I go to the next place, and I left early. I didn't even fulfill the lease. I just got out of there because I couldn't sleep. I mean, I was like, just kept awake. I remember playing video games all night, and then I started using excessive amounts of alcohol and drugs to go to sleep. It was the only way I could pass out. So I moved to this new place. And I'm, I'm kind of hoping, you know, even though I don't believe in a haunting, that, that it's just about that place and it doesn't— it's not going to transfer. But no such luck. I move into the new place and they all come with me. And now the same thing is happening in the new place. And I start to realize there's something going on here, um, but I accredit it to myself being insane. I don't think anything other than that. I don't put two and two together. I don't accredit this to the near-death experience yet. I'm just crazy and I need to drink more and do more drugs.

Wow. Wow. So how did that work out for you?

Not very well. Not very well. Yeah. So 10 years later, I think it was, or 9, I don't know exactly, but I get married. I have two kids of my own. And when I have kids, that's a wake-up call right there. Um, see, I really had no reason to live. It didn't really matter if I lived or not, so I put myself in bad situations. Um, you know, really thought I was losing my mind, so just lived in the moment, did whatever I felt I wanted to do. Um, and then when I had my children, that changed everything because now I have a reason to live. They're dependent upon me. And I'm going to give them everything my parents couldn't give me. I'm going to give them a normal life, quote unquote. And I'm going to, you know, first thing I do is I check into rehab. I go back to college. I get my degree. I get an actual real job in the city. I work my way up the ladder. I do very well. I move, I transfer to another company. I move my way up again. I do very well. Well, my marriage falls apart very early on because, you know, just probably a lot to do with the drinking and drugs. Um, but, um, I did get sober enough where they were like 2, 3 years old, so they have no recollection of anything. So, um, anyway, it's many, many years later and I decide that, you know, as my kids are getting a little bit older, I'll try dating again. Right. Why not? And I go online and I'm looking through the various websites to see which one I'm going to join. And every website gives you a choice or choices like several women that are in your immediate area. So they think they can partner, partner, partner you up with. And I came across one of those websites and one of those women, and as soon as I saw her, I was like, oh my God, I was like, that's her, that's my wife. And I just knew it. That was my soulmate. She was right there. And so I joined that site and I sent one email only, and I told her, this is the only email I'm sending, it's to you. I hope you reply. My name's Ray, um, I am your husband, uh, you don't know this yet, and but we're gonna live happily ever after, so get back to me.

Oh wow.

And, uh, yeah, it was a little more funnier than that. And I, and I copied and pasted, I actually put I put it in the book and her response. She did reply. She thought I was nuts, which so do I, so we're on the same page. And, um, you know, we are married. We are still together to this day. But here's what happens when we meet that starts to change things again. Um, when I meet her, this man— and, and this is the first time I'm ever seeing an energy as a— in, in human form So it's kind of— this is, this is different than anything I've ever seen before as a child or in that house or in the apartment after the NDE. Um, because I've, I've seen the lines, I've seen the swirlies, I've seen the energy, but I've never seen it where it formed an individual. And it was like a movie screen had opened up in my mind. It's not my eyes, it's not my ears, it's like on a movie screen. I I see it all in my third eye, and the movie plays, but the movie's talking to me. And the man that comes to me, he says the same thing over and over. He says, I fucked up, I made a mistake, you can help her, I cannot. And he's— I see what he looks like. He's a big stocky guy. He's got dark hair, beard, mustache. And I just see that same segment, if you will, like an 8-second video over and over and over. And it started on a Friday. We're probably dating maybe a month and a half, 2 months tops, when this started. And, um, uh, I see him several times throughout that day at work, and I decide that I'm gonna get out of work for that day. I gotta, I gotta go home. I got a headache, I say, and I just leave because this is overpowering me, right? It's like he's almost like front and center, which I later learned that that's very unusual. Um, so I go home and I see him more often. The next day is Saturday, and I see him more often. It feels like it's almost every hour on the hour, you know. I'm sure that's not perfectly accurate, but that's kind of the way I feel it, like it is. And then by Sunday, it felt like it was every 15 minutes. He had totally taken over my, my, my everything, my world. I couldn't drive, I couldn't have a conversation anymore, I couldn't focus on anything. It was all I left up. I made a mistake. You can help, or I cannot. I don't know what this means. I don't know who this guy is. I've never seen him before. I don't know where he's come from, and I don't really even understand what I'm seeing. So the breaking point, uh, I try to go to the store and I'm paying for my stuff, and, and, and I don't know what I did, but the woman says at the counter, she— I must have paused or froze, and she's like, are you okay, sir? And I said, no, no, I am not okay. And I took my credit card and went back to the car and I sat down and I put my head down and I was almost in tears. And I was like, so this is the end of my life. I'm insane. I'm going to have to get help and I have to make provisions for my kids. I have to make sure my will is up to date, my DNR, because do not resuscitate me this time. I want to go into that light. I know how good it is. And I'm making sure that my everything is in order. That's where my head is at right now. I'm— this is the end. So I, um, now I have to tell her, right? I got to tell this woman who's my soulmate, and, and, and I have to explain to her what I'm seeing to be fair to her, right? Now, to top all of this off, she's a— by profession, her profession, she is a doctor of psychology and neuropsychology. Specializing in pediatrics, and I'm about to tell a doctor of psychology that I see people that aren't really there. This is not— this is not good for dating, never mind, you know, she's just— she's gonna run for the hills, right? So, but that's not what happens. That's not what happens at all. And this is— this is kind of really where it gets crazy. So I tell her what I see, and I tell her exactly the way I see And she says, oh my God, that sounds like my dad. And I said, what do you mean? And she says, you're describing my dad. And I said, your dad's dead. She goes, I know. And I'm like, now I'm thinking she's crazy and I gotta get the heck out of there, right? You're nuts. Your dad's dead. How can I see him if he's dead? That's ridiculous. She's like, I've— relax, I've been to mediums and he always comes in exactly the way you're describing him, front and center. This is the way he looks. And I was like, that's not the way he looks because I saw the photos of your dad and you have the picture. It's right on your, your mantle. I saw it. It looks nothing like your dad. And she says, that's a very old picture. Let me show you. And she goes through the phone. Shows me a photo of her dad, and I said, oh my God, you know that man? And she's like, that's my dad, silly. And my heart just kind of sank into my stomach, and I was like, holy cow, what just happened? And she, uh, she's like, listen, you're probably just a psychic medium and you don't know it. And I said, what's a medium? I don't know what this is, uh, but If I'm— if I am this thing that she goes on to explain to me, then I'm not crazy. And I don't know which one I want to be the truth, because at least insanity, I understand what that is. I have no idea what this medium thing is. And if I am one, what do I do with it next, right? So she says there's this medium coming into our area. She's going to be here for 2 weeks. She's very, very world-renowned, well-known, and I'll book an appointment for you so that you can sit with her and you guys can compare notes and just get all the answers to your questions. And I was like, well, what have I got to lose? Sure, okay, I'll meet with a medium, whatever that is. And I meet with her and I explain to her how I see things, what starts first, the vibrations, the lines, the this, the that. Then the movie screen opens and she says, stop. And I said, what? She goes, that's the way I see things too. In fact, that's the way we all see things. And I'm like, who's we all? And she's like, come on. And I said, so I'm a medium? And she goes, yeah, you're a medium. And then I went on to tell her different types of premonitions, different things that I saw, and, um, she validated everything. In that meeting. And I was just— I was, I was stunned. But again, like I said, so if I am a medium, what do I do with that? Where do I go from there? That was very, very confusing for me in that moment.

I would imagine it would be. And how long is this after you had your experience? You were around 27 years of experience.

So I'm 40-something in this, in this time. I'm probably mid-40s. So yeah, we're talking about 20 years.

Yeah. And you know what's interesting to me about your story, one of the things, there's many things interesting about it, but you know, sometimes people will hear a near-death experience story and will say, oh, I wish I could have a near-death experience. And every time I'd say that to someone who's had one, they're like, no, you're crazy, uh, you don't want this. Because it's not like you come back and you immediately are like, you can integrate this thing and PMH Atwater did some study, and it takes the average adult 7 to 14 years to integrate. And it sounds like for you was even longer.

Yeah, 20. Yeah, yeah. Especially when you go through the denial phase, because don't— I tried to tell a couple of people and they were like, no, you, you know, what are you talking about? You're out of your mind. You're crazy. You know, too much drugs. Stop doing drugs. You know what I mean? And, and I was like, no, no, really. I wasn't— I wasn't on drugs yet. I didn't even know what they were yet.

That, right?

But I just shut up. I just, you know, there's no sense in trying to tell people what they're not listening to, what they're not capable of hearing, or they simply don't want it. And so I was, I was like, I just shut it down myself. Maybe they're right, you know, maybe I'm crazy, maybe it didn't happen. And I went through that phase for many, many years. And it really wasn't until that apartment and that whole craziness that it—

yeah, so it sounds like, like the spirit world was like— I don't know if it was pursuing you or you were just opened up at that time and it was like I was kind of shut it off. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, that was the big thing right now. Now shutting it off is— that was the— that— so after I get out of the, the apartment and I have my kids, right, um, and I got out of rehab, it was kind of like they know I don't know how to help them or how to, to do anything for them, so it's, it's not so intrusive and overbearing. And it stays that way. They're there. But we're like coexisting, so to speak. And I just think I'm crazy, right? It's going to get worse, but it's not worse right now. I can deal with it. I have to tell anybody it's there. It's like I can navigate, it's not intrusive. And then my wife comes, my future wife comes along. And she brings with her her dad who's dead. And he's like, no, no, no, this guy can hear me and I am going to talk to my daughter and that's that. And he was very persistent and I had no choice but to pay attention to him. Um, and, and, and again, I was back to the beginning. I'm crazy, here we go again.

So in what way did he want you to help her?

Well, the message that he was giving us, it was actually not directly for her. I was supposed to give it to her though. And it was— there was a series of messages that came later after I accepted the first one. By the way, the minute I told her what the message was, he was gone. Like, it was lifted. And, and later I learned that woman I met with was my mentor for the first year, and she taught me how to navigate it, turn it on, turn it off, etc. And she said, that's what you were supposed to do. You were just simply supposed to deliver the message. And because you held it for 3 days he was driving you crazy. But had you given it on the first day, it would have been gone. And I said, but I didn't know that. She was like, I know, but that's why you're here and we're talking and I'm telling you this. So the more you learn how to navigate it and turn it on and turn it off, the, the better it is. Um, but, um, so, um, did I answer your question? I actually—

I'm sorry, I was going to ask you what, what he wanted you to—

because he said, oh, the message, right? Yeah, you can It was a series of messages, and it actually, um, I'll get into it to the best of my ability. It did save a life in her family, okay, who had an unknown condition that had it not been checked, um, would have probably resulted in very serious nature or even her death. So we had to get this person to a doctor who was very stubborn, never wanted to go to a doctor, that type of person, right? So we devised a scheme because I can't just say how I know this, right? Because that's not going to go over. I'll never be asked back to Thanksgiving ever again. So we had to devise this whole thing of how we were going to get that message across, and, and we did. Luckily, she's, she's good. So we did what we were supposed to do.

Yeah, that's good. And it's, you know, it's interesting how spirit will find a way to work around, through like, I'll go to this person because this person can see me, and then he'll deliver messages to her, and then that person gets it to the next person. So that's right, there does seem to be certain people that spirit can, can come to that can have this ability, uh, that, that you have.

Exactly, exactly. And I did not know this until I knew this. And, um, they also come— it's right, they know who to go to with what. And also know how to show you the visual, uh, that you'll interpret in such a way that you'll understand it. Because it kind of like comes like a puzzle. It's not always that simple where it's just like a statement, he was powerful. Usually it's visual objects and words in the middle of it, and it's like you have to put it together, and it's not always that easy. He made it easy for me.

Yeah, well, again, sounds like your, your ability— like, he knew that I can, I can get this message to this person. So it's, it's, it's interesting. Our lives seem to be orchestrated at some point.

No doubt. And I think that on the other side, they have to have a certain amount of ability as well, because some come through better than others. And I think they develop their ability too.

That seems to be the case because I, you know, I work with a lot of people in grief, and they'll say, why why can't my loved one contact me? And I know people are starting now saying, why can't my loved one contact me like this? And I think it's a, it's a combination of their ability on the other side and our ability here.

Yeah. Yeah. So it kind of takes a medium on both sides to some degree, you know, and we all have this ability to, to some degree. But if your loved one never comes through and you keep seeing mediums and you know that these mediums are good, but they never come, they may not know how. It's just, it could be as simple as that. They simply don't know how. They're not rejecting you, they just don't know how to make the connection, you know. Uh, look at me, how many years and how many messages I could have gotten but never did because I discarded them as not real. So, you know, it, it takes both sides to click on that frequency and be able to transmit data to, to a degree.

Right. So I know that you, you combine science, I think metaphysics, along with the spirituality. So tell me how you came to, to come to that perspective, that point of view.

So after my first mentor, my second mentor was a man that really kind of opened up doors for me as far as not just mediumship, but spirituality, and in so many different ways. And he got me so interested in this, this, this world. He taught me how to manifest things. And, and it was like everything he taught me was just— it just clicked and it just worked. But I always need to know this, like, why does it work? I'm my own biggest skeptic. Like, how— what makes the law of attraction work? What makes this, this concept work? So I studied everything. I was a voracious reader. I would read everything from Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, every spiritual person on this side. And then I read everything about, uh, on the other side, the physics, uh, the, the great physicists like Einstein, Niels Bohr, Tesla, um, you name it, all Hubble, all the rock stars of the, like, the 1930s and '40s and before. Um, and I went back to college again for metaphysics. And so I was getting my degrees, I was learning and learning and gaining information from all these sources and then bringing it to my mentor, having somebody to discuss it with. It just all started. This is like a 6-year process, though. This wasn't, you know, 1, 2, 3. And it just started to make sense. And so the second book is really about that. It's about taking the concepts, finding the physics, the laws of physics that match with it. And telling you my story of how I used it. So before anything goes in the book, I have to be able to do it myself. I have to be able to replicate it, and I have to be able to understand how it works, like what's, what's under the hood, what makes this so. And, and then I also have to be able to teach it to others to be replicated. So if it doesn't have those things, I won't put it in a book. And I've got a lot of things that I haven't figured out the physics yet. So I'm not going to put it in a book because I can't back it up. But the things that are in there, I feel pretty confident that I have the correct theory behind it.

Well, talk to me about some of these laws, because we all— we hear about the law of attraction and it means different things to different people. And I think there's a lot of misconceptions about it. So tell me your understanding of the law of attraction.

Sure. So the law of attraction is basically the ability to place our minds in a certain frequency that we can bring about the match to that frequency back to us. So it's really based upon energy, frequency, and vibration. The first thing that's very, very important to understand is the practice. So the practice that I was given goes something like this. We go into a meditative state.

Hey there, you know, life's got its ups and downs. And sometimes it feels like we're navigating through a pretty thick fog of grief. But imagine if we had a bunch of friends walking with us shining their flashlights, helping us find our way. Well, that's the dream I've been working on. And it's finally here. It's the Grief to Growth Community Circle. It's a place place for like-minded individuals where we support each other. It's chock full of resources and exclusive content. And guess what? It's free to join. The main part doesn't cost a dime. Just head over to grieftogrowth.com/community, hit the apply button, and bam, you're on your way. I love what Ram Dass says, we're all just walking each other home. I can't wait for you to join. Start start sharing stories and growing together. Let's light up this path one step at a time. I'll see you on the inside.

The reason we want to go into a meditative state is because we want to bring our frequency to that of the Earth. The Earth's frequency, or also known as the Schumann resonance, is 7.83 Hz. Now, we know that the Earth is always harmonious with the universe. If she wasn't, we'd all be dead, right? So she's a constant 7.83. This was proven by Schumann, the, the scientist. So how close can we get to 7.83? Well, we can get really close because between 4 and 8 Hz is what we call a theta state. It's a brainwave state. Delta is where you're sleeping. Theta is where you're just awake. It's almost like a hypnotic type state. So if we can get to that phase, now we're one with the, the Earth, and the Earth is one with the universe. Now we're all cohesive. Okay. Now from here, in this meditative state, the thing that I always suggest you do is say all the things you're grateful for. Okay. And this is because this brings about a feeling of positivity, a good positive vibration throughout. It gets your mind mindset, thinking about things that you've already done, accomplished, things you've already asked for, and it sets that tone. Now you're going to state the thing that it is you want. Don't ask. Here's why. You're part of the collective, and the collective is part of you. Jesus said you are a part of God, God is a part of you. So if you want to use the term God, or you want to call it the collective consciousness, or the universe, whatever the creator of all is, I assure you that you are a part of the Creator, not less than, not separate from, but a part of. And every religion has a version of that telling us that statement. And I'm not a fan of organized religion, but I can tell you they've all got that right. So if you're part of God, then you are co-creator. So how do you go about creating? How does God create? The same way we are going to create. Though you set the imagery in your mind, and this is very important that it's done the right way, and I'll explain this in a moment. Let's say, for example, you've been sick for a very long time and your objective is to not be sick or be healthy. So in your manifestation, you will then state, I want to be healthy now. Okay, it's very definitive. You're not saying pretty please. You are the creator. You are part of creation. You have a right to be healthy. You have a right to whatever it is that you want. State it and make it so. Here's what you don't say: I don't want to be sick anymore. Why? And I'll explain. I and sick are the two words in that sentence that go from the visual that you have. I of self and sick, whatever your visualization is, that's what gets turned into the frequency and sent out like a beacon right out of your head.

Head.

That's what gets transferred. The universe does not speak English, French, Spanish, German, anything else. It speaks vibration. And when you understand that, you can visualize your thoughts. And when you visualize the thought, you emit the thought in a frequency, and it finds its match. So if you say, I want to be healthy, and I want to be healthy now, that is what you're going to get because now the visual is I and the visual of health. That's what you send out. What we send out, we get back. We know this to be true. So when you put the intention behind it and you're already at that resonant frequency where you need to be to emit it, you've sent it out and now you're waiting for it to come back. Everything, even inanimate objects, are on frequencies. Everything is made up of energy. So if you align yourself with the energy that is money, you can attract money. If it's health, you can attract health. If whatever the it is, you can turn that into a frequency, but you've got to believe that you can have it. You have to be able to conceive it and believe it to achieve it. Otherwise, it's not coming. I can't ask for a billion dollars. My kid asked me, why don't you just ask for a billion dollars and we're set? I said, because I can't. I can't conceive it. I don't have any friends that are billionaires. I don't know what it's like to have a billion dollars. I have no conception of it whatsoever. It's so far-fetched to me that if I ask for it, it's not going to come because I can't conceive it. Give me a number I can conceive and I can get it. And I have done more than one time. In fact, there's more examples of money in the book that gets a little higher, a little higher, a little higher, a little higher each time. And then I stopped doing it because I almost felt guilty. It was coming so fast and so easy. So it's really about getting yourself to emit the frequency. The frequency will always find its match. This is how our phones work. If I dial my cell phone, you're— and it's your number I put in— my phone adjusts to your frequency of your cell phone. That's why it rings and we're talking to each other and we're exchanging information. It's the same thing. The radio works the same way. It sends out a frequency with information on it. That frequency, I can tune the dial of my radio. Remember the old-fashioned ones? You tune it in.

Yeah, yeah.

You're a little bit off, guess what? You don't get to hear the song. You've got to be on. And this is why a lot of people are like, well, it doesn't work for me. That just doesn't work for me. You got to practice getting yourself into the frequency, and you've got to believe that you can achieve what it is that you're asking for. So it takes practice. And what can take you out of your frequency? That's up to you. Yeah, car cuts you off, that could take you out of your frequency, right? You get angry. If your kid does something, breaks something, that could take you out of your frequency if you let yourself get angry. But you can decide what makes you angry and what doesn't. You can decide what makes you sad and what doesn't. We use our awareness, and our awareness— since we're aware of the emotion or we're aware of the thought, we can change our thoughts. So you have to control your thoughts. And this is another aspect that I go into. And, um, when I fractured my own ego I mean, that was just one of the biggest moments of my life because I got rid of so many negative emotions. I still experience them. It's not like I never get angry. That's not what I'm saying. But it dissipates. Like, I don't think about revenge. I don't think about the person who made me angry for hours and hours and hours. I let it go.

Mm-hmm.

The faster I let it go, the faster I can get back to my resonant frequency and align myself with the thing that I'm trying to acquire.

Yeah, you said something there that really caught my ear because I was listening to an interview with the woman yesterday. I can't remember her name, but she was— we were— she was talking about dreaming, and she actually was saying that like your dreams can hold you back because she's, she's super successful. She's been like the CMO of Google and this and that and the other. And she's like, but I couldn't conceive of that thing when I was young, so I couldn't even dream of it. But what you just said, I thought was right. And I've never heard anybody say this about the law of attraction before, It's like, maybe the reason some people fail is because they're like, I want a Ferrari, you know, I want a red Ferrari, and I've never had a red Ferrari. I don't know anybody that's had a red Ferrari. I don't think I could really picture that.

Yeah, if you can't picture it, you can't get it, because you've got to believe that it's coming. When you send that signal out, if there's any doubt— and this is what my mentor told me, he said, this is why you don't ask for things, you demand them. Because asking leaves ambiguity. There's a possibility you won't get it or you won't have it. And if you doubt that you're good enough for it, or if you doubt that you can get it, then there's that doubt again. And that doubt creates a ripple effect. You're not in line and you're not on the frequency. You can't fake it, right? It's just a real thing that's coming out of you. And there's just— there's no way to override your frequency. But here's what some of the things you can do. There's ways to backdoor things, I call it, right? So let's say I can't ask for that billion dollars, but maybe I can ask for 10 million books to be sold. I can see myself selling 10 million books. Maybe I can't see the money just coming to me for no apparent reason, but I certainly can see my book selling to half the world and all of a sudden the bank account has it. That I believe that I can conceive.

So I can see a strategy also maybe doing— I'm a big fan of baby steps. I always tell— it's like, let's do something we can, we can succeed at, right? Because success breeds belief. So if I, if I ask for something that I get, then the next thing I'm going to believe I can get it.

Yeah, I tell my clients, start with an apple. Start with an apple. You know, in 48 hours, you're gonna have an apple, then, then when that works, you'll be like, okay, this is easy. One woman, I remember she told told me she was looking for these special— she had these knives and she was looking for the matching fork and she couldn't find it anywhere. And it was her kid's birthday and she wanted to find the matching fork. And she's driving and all of a sudden she looks up at this store and it's like a discount store and she's thinking about buying something completely different. But she's been manifesting the fork. She walks inside and boom, there's the matching fork. Out of all the places, it's in the discount store right in the first aisle. And she's like, Ray, you son of a gun.

Yeah, I like that. That's interesting.

They call me— yeah.

And, and you, you touched on this, and I want to, I want to talk about this also, um, the ego. So tell me your views on, on ego.

So the egoic mind— we have different sections or parts of our mind, not to be confused with the brain. The brain is just the organ that emits the The mind is the energy that comes out of the brain. And, uh, my— your mind is also your consciousness, so it technically runs through every cell in your body. That being said, we have different parts of the, of the mind. We have the unconscious, which is your bodily functions, your, um, core emotions, right? You don't have to tell yourself to breathe, you just breathe. It's going to happen. Um, so that's— it's like on automatic pilot. That's your unconscious. But then your subconscious is made up of all the experiences, things you've heard, things you've seen, especially when you were a child, especially between the ages of 2 and 7, because you're almost always in what we call the theta state. This is why children don't have the limitations that we have, because as we get older, we lose that state of being natural and we have to meditate to get there or do something to get there. But when between the ages of 2 and 7, You're limitless because you're in this theta state. But anyway, here's the downside to that. You're listening to everything. You see something on television, you don't know what's real and what's fake. Maybe you see drama in your family. Maybe you hear your mother and father talking about these people over here, that they're bad people, and you just keep compiling all of this stuff and everything goes onto your hard drive and your hard drive is your subconscious mind. Now, your egoic mind goes to the subconscious mind to get information to protect you. That's its primary purpose, is just to protect you. So when you're in that theta state as a child, the reason you're there is for survival. You're in that state and you know all the things that are happening around you— lions and tigers and bears, oh my, I gotta— maybe I gotta run. Maybe this is primitive, right? And primitive life, this is why it's there. It's instinctual. So, but nowadays, we don't really need it to be so much that way because we have a society that's very different, but yet we have the same mind. So, this mind gets filled up with these different things and these experiences sit there forever. I assure you, you never forget an experience. It's in that you may not be able to recall it, recalling it and, and remembering it is completely different. I have complete blackouts from my PTSD episodes, but I know that that stuff is in there. All right. So my ego always wants to go after the negative to warn me about my next move. So let's say, for example, my conscious mind, however, has the ability to make choices.. And my awareness is aware at the highest level is our awareness. And Eckhart Tolle gave it the name because we're aware that we're having a thought. We're aware that we're having an emotion. We're aware that we're conscious. Hence, we change our consciousness. Here's a quick example of how this works. You're sitting in a movie theater and you're watching a scary movie on the screen, and the guy comes out with the knife, ran, ran, ran, and you go, ah, Why? Why do you do that?

Yeah, you're triggered.

Yeah, but you're triggered by what? Your subconscious, right?

Right. No worries.

Watch out for people with knives who are trying to kill you, and your ego jumps out in front of your conscious mind. Then your conscious mind catches up and says, relax, dude, we're in a movie theater, chill, right? But that happens second, right? So we're living off our subconscious, and our ego is directing traffic. And when that happens, we're living off yesterday to choose what we're going to do tomorrow. And when we do that, what do we get? The same result we had yesterday. So we have to break that. We have to fracture that ego, I call it. If we break it and we fracture it and just pause, just pause for a second and let that conscious mind catch up and tell us we're just sitting in a movie theater, no reason to react, there's no problem here, and decide what you want to do. And now go to your awareness which is connected to your higher self, which is connected to God, the universe, the collective, and download what you want to do next. Pause. If you ever see a really enlightened person— I'm not an enlightened person, okay? I'm trying to get there. I'm a work in progress. But if you look at Eckhart Tolle and you watch him speak, there's these huge pauses between— he answers questions, how he answers this question. That's because he's getting his information from here, not from databank of yesterday's stuff.

Mm-hmm.

So he's literally getting it as it's coming through him, almost like he's inspired as he's saying those words. And it's that pause. And he teaches something called become the director of your own life.

Mm-hmm.

And I started to do this. I was like, this is brilliant. I'm gonna do this. And it took me a year of doing it. And here's how it works. Every time you're about to make a decision, do something, if you do it and you don't like what you did, remind yourself that the next time this occurrence happens, I'm not going to do it that way. Just pause and become the director. So it's a movie starring me, right? But instead of me just taking the action that I want to do, I go to my director and I look at myself in the third person., and I say, what should my character do, director? And the director is my conscious mind coming forward, and it's that pause that allows me just to make that decision instead of going instantly to my data bank. And my subconscious is filled with crap. I had trauma, violence, blah blah blah, drug addiction, you name it. It was just— my past is not good, so I don't want to recall anything from there and base my future off that. I want to base it off what's coming from above. And that clicked 6, 7 years ago, and it just happened naturally. I was driving and I had an accident and I hit a deer and it was bad weather and I didn't see it. And all of a sudden you would think that I would just— my adrenaline would pump and I would get all like, you know, none of that happened. Nothing. In fact, I was totally calm. I got out of the car. I felt compassion for the deer. Deer, and I tried to help the deer, and the deer got up and it actually walked away, which was miraculous. I was fine. I was unharmed, which it was— this is a big deer. And my car was trashed. And normally that would really piss me off because I saved a lot of money for that car. But at that moment, I realized it's a tin can with a motor in it. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things. And that became so insignificant. And I was not— I experienced no anger. And I didn't practice it. I wasn't being the director. I just literally— it just, it came naturally.

Right, right.

And that's when I knew I made it. I was like, there. And I was like, thank you, I'm here. I finally made it.

That was a wonderful explanation because, um, I hear a lot of times people talk about we need to destroy the ego, we need to kill the ego. But I, I like what you said about the ego is The ego's here to protect us. The ego's like, I'm, I'm, I'm your friend, I'm keeping you safe from fear, or from, from, uh, danger. Danger.

Yeah.

But the thing is, we have to make a conscious decision. We have to say, okay, no, I'm going to be the— I'm going to make the decision. Because a lot of times ego does get us in trouble, right? Like you said, someone cuts us off, we immediately want to flip them off.

Exactly.

Yeah. You know, someone says something to you and you just, you want to respond, you I feel like I have to defend myself, because that, that can be as real of a danger— feels like to us— as someone physically threatening us. Someone just saying the wrong words to us. So that, that ability to, to respond rather than react, I think, is, is what I hear you saying.

Perfect.

I'm gonna make— I'm gonna make the choice and slow down. And I feel— I— when I— when you think about it, 80, 90% of the time, your first response, your first reaction is It's like it's a thing you don't want to do.

Exactly. It's something that from that hard drive, it has to be because all we know is yesterday, right? We don't know tomorrow. So in order to make new choices, you have to pause and give yourself that moment to find the new choice. And the new choice is going to come from above. It's not going to come from below. That's not going to help you. I mean, listen, it has its good qualities, right? Look both ways before you cross the street.

Right.

We need that, right, guys? We can't completely get rid of the ego. We can't. But there are 90% of the time where we overreact or we, we have a reaction that we don't have to have.

Yeah, yeah, I think it's absolutely true that it's, it's been really well developed again to keep us protected. And, and I always use the thing like, if you're, if you're out somewhere and a tiger's coming at you you don't want to contemplate whether you run or not. You know, when the tiger's coming at you, you want to run. Um, so there's, there's a, there's a time and a place for that, but we, we see everything as a tiger. Mm-hmm.

That's right, we see everything as the tiger. I remember one time this guy, um, I cut this guy off accidentally, right? I didn't mean to do it. I, I almost overran the stop sign, and he gets out of the car and he's just yelling at me. And this is post-awakening. And I rolled down my window, I'm trying not to laugh, and I handed him my card and I said, dude, call me. You— I used to be just like you. Yeah, of course he threw the thing back in my face.

I was gonna say, that pisses them off.

Yeah, that didn't go over— it didn't go over well. It really didn't. But I wasn't trying to be an asshole. I mean, I was trying to really, like, legitimately help him. Sorry, I should have bleeped that word. Sorry.

No, no, that's fine. No, I, I, I hear everything you're saying. And, and, you know, and again, I, I've, I've done that with people before where it's like I'm just going to respond calmly. And it actually gets them even more upset because you're not, you're not feeding their ego.

Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah.

So how does, how does meditation or mindfulness, how does that play into getting into this state?

So ironically, it was the same meditation for me that I was doing for manifestation that opened up doors that I really, you know, didn't, didn't see, literally didn't see because they're not here in the here and now. But when you get yourself into the resonance state, which is the way I always start it, and I like to listen to chants of ah, ah is the sound of creation. So I listen to that as I'm, as I'm doing my meditation. Then I go into what I call the attitude of gratitude. I am grateful for, I am thankful for this. I'm grateful for that. I'm thankful for this. And don't worry if you hit everything, you're not going to. But if you manifest something, you better put that in your, your attitude of gratitude statement. You know, don't forget about that. You were just given something. So make sure you put that in there anyway. So we do that and we get to that higher level of consciousness that we're trying to get to. And we're removing ourselves from this, you know, material world that we're in, and, and we're elevating our consciousness. And once you're there, you don't have to manifest it. You can just— you can ask things like, show me the path, show me the way, show me something I need to know. You know, you're in this elevated state where you're connected to the collective, and that's like plugging into the internet for the first time. So all of a sudden there's this wealth of information there that you didn't know existed and you didn't know you had access to. And that's fun. I mean, sometimes I'm just meditating for fun because I don't know what I'm going to see, and I just know it's going to be really cool. And you just practice this over and over and over, and you start to get answers to things that, you know, maybe you were thinking a long time ago, or maybe you were trying to figure out. And then we call it a download, right? Like out of nowhere, we just get this information. And that's the answer I've been looking for. So meditation in general, done in this way for me, has been really, really positive. But there's a million types of meditations. I think that at the end of the day, the one thing they all have in common is that connection with our higher selves where we're getting these downloads and getting this information. How you choose to get there, it's really up to you.

Yeah. Meditation is interesting. I've been studying it often for for probably, I don't know, 20 years at this point, I guess. And, you know, so many people say, well, I can't do it, I just, I just can't meditate, I can't, I can't stop my mind, I can't, you know, whatever. Um, and I've realized there's all different forms. And find— I tell people, find what works for you because everybody's different, we're all unique.

Yeah, there's guided meditations, and the one that I'm talking about with manifestation, you technically never are really it because you're stating affirmations. You're saying what you're thankful for and grateful for, and you're stating what you want. So there's very few times where you're 100% silent. And don't stress, you know, if a thought comes in, just let it go. And then there's the real like TM, Transcendental Meditation. Okay, that's where you're trying to have no thought. Don't start there, you know, start— take, like you said, baby steps. Start with a guided meditation for anxiety or a guided meditation for this or that. That and, and slowly build your way up. And don't worry about doing 30 minutes. Do 5, do 2. Like, set your phone to beep at 2 minutes and try to just go slow and build yourself up. It's like going to the gym, you know. At first it's terrible, and then it gets easier and easier and easier.

Yeah, yeah, I agree. So, Ray, how do you work with clients? How do people work with you to achieve these things?

So, um, if you go to raykatanya.com, um, you'll find information about the books and information about how to contact me if you're interested in coaching. Um, and, um, I coach people from all different walks of life, all different types of people seeking different things. Um, and, you know, I just— I, I love the wide array of people that, um, come to me, and I love meeting new people. And thank you for allowing me to say that. I really appreciate that.

I know people are probably listening going, okay, where do— because I know I always try to think of the beginning, right? So where, where do I start? How do I start? And I talk to people like, again, about meditation, and it can be very confusing. Or, again, the law of attraction. We hear so many different things about, you know, how to do it and don't, don't do this and don't do that. And I like your approach because it sounds very rational to me. It's like, it's based on, like you said, it's based on science, it's based on metaphysics. And it's stuff that makes sense and it sounds actually kind of doable. Because I hear people again say, oh, you can have anything you want. So what do we all do? We sit down, we say, I want to be a billionaire, and then we go, it's not working, I'm not a billionaire, right?

Yeah, because it's just not that simple. You have to be able to— you've got to get yourself in that formation of conceivability. Uh, so you maybe you start— I don't know what your number is. Money's relative, right? So somebody— yeah, yeah, somebody's number might be $100,000. Start with whatever whatever is conceivable for you and work your way up the ladder. You'll get to a billionaire. Take your time.

Yeah, well, you know, and I— and we always also, a lot of times when we talk about— we talk about material stuff. We're like, we want to— we want a car, we want money, we want all, all that stuff. Uh, and very rarely do people say, I want to— I want to manifest being an enlightened person.

Well, see, now that's what happens, because when you realize that you can manifest the money I stop manifesting money and I'm more concerned with becoming an enlightened being. I just need enough money that I need. I don't need extras for stuff. I don't need any stuff. I just need what I need. And when you realize that it's there and you can have it, you tend to not necessarily go after it if you don't need it. I look for things that are more important. Like a higher level of consciousness, more information. What can I give to other people? I meditate before I go into session with somebody. What does this person need today? That's the answers that I want to get. Everything else becomes like, you know, just not as important anymore.

Yeah, well, that's, you know, when it comes to that stuff, it's like, again, it's, it's like, what's, what's enough, first of all, and, and what's important? Because as we start to really think about and seeing reality, we realize everything, all the, all the stuff's going to pass away anyway. So why, why spend all your effort, you know, trying to manifest something that's— you can't hold on to?

Exactly. Try, try to manifest something that's going to make a difference. Try to help your fellow man or woman. Try to do something that's really going to give, and then help them help others. And now you're really making a difference. It's not about how many cars you drive or the this, what clothes you wear. I mean, that stuff is just, it becomes less and less important. And if you saw me 20 years ago, you would be like, I don't know who you are right now. You know, like my own kids were like, what have you done with my dad? I don't recognize you anymore. But the things that you thought were important and the things that you thought made you happy, they just don't have that effect anymore. It just goes away. And I don't know why. I don't know how— well, I kind of think I know why. But it's just, it's, it's not at the same level as things like enlightenment and helping other people and making a difference and leaving some kind of legacy with a book on a shelf or multiple books. That's more important.

Yeah, well, I think that again, I think that's what, that's what starts to open up to us as we get to that state. And we, as we get more connected to spirit, to our higher self, it's just not interested in that stuff because that's, that's not what we came here for. That's not why we decided to, to, uh, come into existence. It wasn't to, to achieve all that stuff. It was to, it was to grow and, and to serve others and all those things that we start to realize.

Exactly. Yeah, it wasn't to evolve, uh, materialistically. It was to evolve on a different level of consciousness. Yeah.

Well, Ray, it's been really great, uh, getting to know you today. Thanks for, thanks for being here and thanks for sharing your wisdom with me. And with us. Um, and again, remind people of the website, raykatanya.com. Yeah, and that'll, that'll be in the notes. Thanks a lot for being here.

Thank you.

All right, have a great afternoon.

You too.

Hi there, I'm really excited to tell you about my latest ebook. It's 4 lessons that you can learn from the near-death experience without going through all the trouble of dying to learn them. I've been studying NDEs for several years now. I am completely convinced that not only are they 100% real, but that there's some very universal wisdom that we can get from the near-death experience. And I've distilled that down in this book into 4 short lessons lessons. And I've also given you all the reasons why I believe the NDEs are absolutely real. So go to www.grieftogrowth.com/NDElessons to pick it up for free. www.grief-the-number-2-growth.com/NDElessons. I hope you enjoy it.