Unlock Your SOUL Purpose! Candice Rebollo's ASTONISHING Secrets to Heal Hidden Wounds!

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet.

I get that.

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Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian D Smith says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

Hey everybody, this is Brian. I'm back with another episode of Grief to Growth. And today I've got with me, her name is Candice Rebollo. And she is a woman's abundance seer. She's a certified psychic medium who helps her clients to embody their femininity, to survive and femininity, surrender and thrive. She's been studying child and human development for 20 years. She's also studied somatic therapy, and she's a walking in your shoes facilitator. And we'll ask Candice what that means. Women work with her when they want to feel seen, when they want to feel understood, and develop greater self-love. Uh, see, her seeing process helps her clients recognize patterns that have been hidden for years, and to melt the ice around this energy, awakening their deepest fears, the deepest desires, I should say, and feminine power. And as a medium, she connects them to their guides and ancestors while holding a space of unconditional love that grants permission to live in alignment with their truest calling. Candice is coming to us today from Mexico, her home. I know she was in Scottsdale, Arizona, but she does travel the world doing breathwork events transformative retreats. She's a lover of song and dance. She was part of an epic cover band, and she's a dog lover. She's committed to helping parents and children develop a balanced understanding of one another. So with that, I want to welcome Candace Rebolleo to Grief 2 Growth.

Hello, hello, hello. Thank you for having me, Brian. I'm so excited and grateful to be here, truly.

Well, I'm really excited to have you here also. You connect with my audience in so many ways. Most of my audience is— are women. A lot of my audience are women who have lost children, uh, because I've, I've lost a child and part of an organization with that. And, uh, and people are really interested in how do I heal? How do I, how do I know that my child is okay? But I really want to talk about who Candice is first because people like to know your story. So how did you develop these, the skill that you have, and when did you know that you had it?

Well, I will say the developed skill came through my own healing process and my healing journey going from the trauma, the deep trauma that I experienced in childhood and really kind of learning to heal with that and grow with that came some gifts that I didn't know I had actually developed. So I was able to really see empathically into other people's nature and what their true feelings were and what sort of was behind the mask And really, if you think about that, that was a survival mechanism because I was growing up in a traumatic environment where I felt I had to peer and see behind what was going on to keep myself safe, right? And to figure out what I needed to do next. So actually survival mechanism turned into a gift. And the more I exercise that gift like a muscle, the mediumship and being able to connect with those who are on the other side sort of just popped in on its own. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't have to do much because I was already developing my psychic intuition and psychic development and connecting with, you know, spirit on the other side already. So mediumship just sort of came, and I was invited by a channeling instructor to get certified in channeled mediumship when I didn't even think that I was ready. And she knew, she saw something in myself at the time that I couldn't see. So she really helped nurture the gift and helped it grow. And from then on, I really put myself in positions, spaces, fairs, these sorts of things to start doing readings and connecting with people's loved ones. And I always say I put myself in positions where I was like speed dating for psychics and mediums, right? Like going to events where I could help fundraise, but I was also developing my gifts so much. And I didn't know that at the time. But reading for so many people, say, in an event or a day, really helped strengthen the gift and helped me become detached from, "Is this right? Is this not? Is this really their brother on the other side? Is this—" You know, it was just so fast that I didn't have time to second-guess myself, and that's really where the gift developed. And I am a strong believer that anyone can develop the gift. It's just like playing an instrument. So some of us are gonna be a little more skilled than others, but with practice, any and all people can learn.

Yeah, you said several things there that I find really interesting and kind of reinforce what I've thought, you know, there are several mediums I know of, they did seem to have a traumatic childhood, and they, and they seem to have developed their gifts out of necessity. So that seems to be a common theme. But so that makes some of us think that people are maybe just born mediums. But I wonder if it develops, because you also said you think we all have this gift, and we can develop it to a certain extent.

Yeah, yeah. So I definitely feel again like my gifts came out of trauma for sure. It's like from tragedy to triumph, right? When you can learn to take this, the really hard stuff in your life, and turn it into something gold where you're of service to other people. I think that's essentially what all darkness and dark times and dark nights of the soul are meant for. We're here to teach each other. We're here to storytell. We're here to grow with one another. We can't grow alone in this isolated box. We need one another. And so this is why I also train psychics and mediums, because it's something I believe in, in my heart and soul. I believe the more I can train authentically connected mediums and psychics, I believe the more and more we can heal, right? It's like the ripple effect, like dropping the, the, the pebble in the pond and watching the ripples go out. I feel like that's part of my destiny. It's to take care of people to nurture people back to love and back to understanding, having a bigger understanding of the picture of their lives and helping them sort of place these puzzle pieces together. So anyone can do it. I know it because I train people. So I know it firsthand. I know what's possible. I can train. It's just a matter of time, commitment, and surrender. Those are the most important things. It's the time to do it. Yes, the commitment and like, no, I'm going to do this. It's deciding. And the surrender is, I think, the most important one. When you learn to get out of your way, we can all connect to spirit. Yeah, yeah, I love that.

I've done just a little bit of training. I was telling you before we start recording, I have friends that are mediums. I've done some training with them. And I always felt like I have no ability whatsoever. Because, you know, I think a lot of us feel that way. But I was actually surprised by, you know, a couple of test readings I did that, you know, I actually did get some hits. So I, I do believe that. I do believe that we all have this, this ability, but most of us just don't develop it because there's so much else going on in our lives.

Correct. Most of us don't have the time to slow down and understand how we're already attuned. And I get people like that all the time, like you, like, "Well, I feel like I can't connect." I always get the people— people who come to me always think, "Well, I'm going to be the one person who's not going to be able to connect. I'm going to be that one that you meet that you're not going to be able to help." And I'm like, "Yeah, yeah, come on." down.

So you also mentioned authentic mediums. And I was telling you, I love having mediums on the program because so many people just believe that mediumship isn't real. It can't be real. Nobody can do this. It's all hot reading. It's all cold reading. They're all frauds. But then I've actually convinced some people because having readings that, you know, it is, it is real. So How do people react to you when you tell them that you're a medium? Do people think you're real or do they think this can't be real?

I think it varies. Curiosity usually has people lean into me like, you're a what? Say that again. And they start to ask questions. Some people, I will say, I've had so many clients where I've given them their first mediumship reading and they come in super nervous, shaky, not knowing what to expect. It's funny because I— I actually rarely get the pure non-believers, right? If you kind of end up in front of a medium, there is some part of you that is open, whether or not you kind of truly say it. You wouldn't find yourself in front of a medium unless there was some part of you that was already in resonance with that frequency, right? That's my belief. But I always tell people, you take the information with a grain of salt. You have to take nothing that I say as ultimate truth, Run it through your emotional system, run it through your mental process, and let it sit there and see how the information serves you, because that's more important than anything. The content, the information, where is it geared towards? Is it geared towards— is this a show or a performance, or is this leaning in, helping you lean into your healing and helping you and your loved one on the other side get into deeper connection and communion for whatever kind of healing they need or you need? And that's typically where it's at, I believe, more than anything. I think evidential mediums are amazing. I truly do. And that's not truly my work. There's going to be things in a session that come up that will absolutely sometimes shock or awe the client. But really what I do is geared towards next level of healing. How do we get the client from where they are now to where they want to be and where they deserve to be. And sometimes that's true for the loved one on the other side as well, because sometimes they need healing, they need help processing what happened in their life. Sometimes they can get stuck too. So we're— I really see myself here as like karmic cleanup. I'm here to help you process the lesson that wasn't learned prior to the loved one passing and what lesson is supposed to be integrated since their passing. And usually it's more than one lesson. So I always say, as far as the naysayers and the non-believers, lean into what the message is telling you. How does it feel in your body to hear the words? And take it with a grain of salt. You don't have to be a believer to have a reading. You don't have to be a believer to receive healing. You just don't.

It's not a prereq. Yeah. Well, you said something there about evidential mediums, and I think there's I think there has to be a certain amount of evidence in the reading so people can know that you're connected with their loved one. But I've also seen mediums that just— and I've had— I'm a test sitter, so I've had a lot of readings where they'll just read down a list of things, right? And there— but there's no real message and there's no real healing. I love what you said about the fact that there should be healing. And I heard you say something different from most people, because they think we're going to medium so that we can be healed, be the sitter. But you said the person on the other side might need healing as well. So could you expand on that a little bit?

Oh yes, I could definitely expand on it. It's one of my favorite things to expand on. So sometimes when loved ones cross over, they can have a hard time processing their life, going over their life review, and letting go of what they didn't get to let go. My nose always itches, by the way, when there's spirit around. So, so loved ones on the other side, sometimes they need help, whether it's from myself, my guides, or even the loved one that's still here in their body to help them let go and process something that wasn't let go of. So I'll give you an example. Um, ghosts. Yeah, ghosts are spirits that are stuck in a specific pattern, in a specific sometimes time loop, timeline, and they can't let go because either something traumatic happened there or they weren't able to complete a life lesson there. And so the spirit sort of becomes stubborn and stuck and will not move. Now, I always say I'm like the opposite of a ghost hunter. I'm not going to go there and poke at it and mess with it and try to, "Is this real?" and record its voice. I know it's there. I'm going to help it move to the light. Yeah. So I can see oftentimes what timeline it's from, why the soul is stuck there. The moment you give these spirits the time to voice what it is that they need to be heard, they almost always— it's rare that they don't start to move into a higher frequency, into a new space, into heaven, if you will. Yeah, so they need our help. And oftentimes, like I said, it's something that they need to say or something that needs to be said to them. It almost always involves love. It almost always involves releasing guilt and shame. And once we start unlocking those patterns and what those stories are more specifically about and why they're locked in the way they are, we can clear them up. So we free the ghost or the loved one on the other side to move again in the higher vibrations. That frees up the person still on this side, still in a body as well, because that's connected to their lineage, that's connected to their energy. So we clear up that soul, we clear up this soul, we clear up the energy between the two of them. Communication becomes easier, their life is easier to move through, and that soul now gets to to be in a more liberated space and place to do whatever comes next in their process, whether it's another lesson in spirit, whether it's reincarnation. I don't always know what happens after that. I think it has a lot to do with free will still, but I do know I help a lot of souls step into the higher frequencies and realms to let go of the shame, guilt, pain, loss that they experienced in this life and can't seem to process or let go of.

Yeah, I think that's an interesting subject. And I know it's really controversial to talk about ghosts, and not everybody going directly to the light. And there's, there's back and forth on what that is. But what I hear you saying is it's a choice that the, that the spirit has made, or a place where it can't get to that next level. It's not like it's a matter of punishment, where it's like you did something wrong and you're being subjected to punishment. Is that correct?

Absolutely. I believe the hell and heaven, you know, the archetypal stories that we hear about heaven and hell, that is where we in the afterlife decide where we go. We decide if we're worthy for the higher realms of love or not. We decide if we feel that we can ascend or not. We decide what is next. And it's truly a soul process. It's truly growth. It's truly— we're here to liberate ourselves and humanity like never before. And we're here to understand how in control of this realm we are and how much power we have. So, and this is true for us on this side too, right? We have to take accountability that we create our heaven and hell here too. We do, with every choice, with every action.. And you don't escape that in death. In fact, it becomes more apparent. So you have to choose wisely, and we have to choose peace. We have to choose love, no matter the things that we've done, no matter what we feel we've done or how unworthy we feel. It's a story and it's not true.

Yeah, I think that message is really important. And it's interesting, I record, I do a lot of interviews with people that have had NDEs, and then I post them on YouTube, and I get a lot of fundamentalists will come to me and say, no, no, that's not true. You know, there's, there's heaven and hell, and God's going to judge us. But the lesson for people that have had the NDE seems to be, it seems to be like, as you said, we choose. And every once in a while, most NDEs are very, very positive. But every once in a while, you hear, you know, you'll hear a negative one, where it wasn't a pleasant experience. But everyone I've ever heard, they said, well, as soon as I decided that I wanted to be out of that space, I was out of that space.

Stay with us.

We'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief? Most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up, so you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper. Thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry a loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it: the community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing— listening, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me, and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth. I hope to see you there.

Correct. It is, it's a choice. The moment you start claiming love, and you stop claiming fear, that's ultimately what it is. You know, this, this human life experience, most of it, let's be honest, in what we experience in our day-to-day lives is the exposure and the conditioning to believe that fear is truth. And fear is not truth. Fear is trying to keep you stuck, and fear is trying to control you. So it's a matter of How brave are you going to be to confront your fears? Or sometimes it's not even about confronting them. Sometimes it's literally just about dropping them, letting go, surrendering.

Yeah, that's, that's an interesting lesson. Now I know you said you're a certified medium. What— tell me what that means.

I went through a training program with an amazing channel. She's in Woodland Hills, California. She has a channeling certification program And I just joined because years ago when I first joined with her, I had just gone through a breakup and I was seeking spiritual advice and wisdom, and I wanted to learn to connect myself. So I started channeling and something very interesting started to happen in my life where the relationships in my life were starting to heal and clear up, and I was starting to piece together a lot more synchronicity, and a lot more synchronicity started to happen. Just about uncovering and discovering my past lives and what my soul is here to do this lifetime and all sorts of things. So it all sort of added onto one another. After a course or two I did with her, maybe two 8-week sessions, that's when she invited me to her mediumship program. And I was like, "I'm not ready." She said, "Yes, you are." And so it was really that training program where we got to do this in groups. We got to practice on one another. We got firsthand experience with an amazing— again, my instructor, she's an amazing medium and channel. She would also bring in sometimes clients for us to read for. So I mean, it was so interactive and it was so beneficial and it was so foundational to my skills. And so I just share that. I just multiply that experience and I add to it with other psychics and mediums that I train. Because when we start pulling on— I mean, there's different lessons all the time. Sometimes we're connecting with the spirit from your ancestry. Sometimes We're connecting with a soul that still might be stuck, lost, and holding on to the pain of the Holocaust and clearing up timelines of spirits. There's all kinds of stuff that— mediumship is an art form. I mean, you can do as you please with love, with love and respect for the souls that you're connecting with. But it's truly— it becomes this rainbow of experiences. And I have plenty of them. And honestly, when I think back on them, they just bring me joy. I'm like, how amazing is it that I get to do this and experience this in this lifetime? It's amazing. I feel incredibly blessed every day. That sounds awesome.

I know you do some other type of work too. You do somatic work and you do breathwork. So tell me about those things.

Yeah, breathwork has been one of the most amazing tools I've yet to discover, and I'll get into walking in your shoes too, because they're both incredible. Breathwork really clears out old energy, right? Like I always say, we sometimes have trapped emotions from like 1996, and we don't even know how or why it's there sometimes consciously. And when you go into a breathwork session and you're breathing, once you hit that transient hypofrontality state where the monkey mind quiets, all the clarity begins to come. Oh, that one moment where I was 4 and maybe got abused by my mom's boyfriend, you know, came up and I didn't even know, right? I didn't even know. And there's plenty of stories that I can get into where my clients experience the same thing. Stuff will come up that's in their body that they didn't even know was there, or they thought they worked through it, they thought they finished that lesson, and it hasn't completely left the body. If it hasn't left your body and if it hasn't been integrated, it's not truly healed yet. And that's okay. That's actually the gift. That's the portal. The pain is the portal. Those are great things. It's not something to shame each other for. But breathwork has really been pivotal in helping me step into who I truly am and my highest frequency, as well as emptying my cup so that life can fill my cup up even more, and I can be open and perceptive to life in a new way and stage. I'll give you an interesting story as well, a beautiful story that actually just played out recently. One of my dear clients, she came to one of my breathwork sessions. So I do, I have one-on-one sessions, but I also love to get out sometimes and do live workshops because it's so much fun for me, and I love it, and I believe In group work, we can all gain so much from each other. So I did a third eye activation breathwork. She came to the breathwork, and I was running through the list of everything to tell them and prepare for with breathwork, and I also said, "Because this is third eye activation breathwork, you have to be prepared that you may have a loved one, guide, or a higher self, etc., an ancestor, who comes to you and gives you a specific message. So if you get visited in this breathwork session, don't be alarmed, don't be surprised. Remember, the container is safe, and I've set it to be safe and of the highest frequency." So just trust the process and let them commune and connect with you. This one of my clients, she had her grandmother who she loved dearly growing up and obviously who passed away. Her grandmother came to her in a session and told her, "You have to let your son go. You have to let your son go." And at the time she knew what it meant because her son was battling this addiction.. But now that she's experienced— she just recently, literally days ago, lost her child, lost her son to addiction. She says, wow, that breathwork session prepared me in ways that I didn't even know yet. She's like, I knew I had to let go and let him live his life and his process, and I got that from the breathwork. But she really sees how her grandmother energetically prepared her for the grieving process that she was going to experience in just a few short months after that. So the things that can happen in these breathwork sessions where I get you to actually have the experience for yourself, I think that's even sometimes more valuable than me reading for you. If I can get your loved one to connect with you in an authentic and in a tangible way where you know, where you feel it, where you see it in these powerful ways, I think what a gift, right? What a gift. So that's the breathwork aspect of things. Walking in your shoes is somatic therapy and giving the body the chance to speak its truth. So different parts of our body have different wisdom. Our mind has, has a way of connecting the dots in our life, and our body has a different way. And often the body holds a deeper truth than the mind does. So when, when I can get a client in a session to actually not attach to their story, not attach to their mind, but stick to the feelings of the body and see what the story of the body is saying, we can start accessing truth and wisdom and knowledge like never before. And it pulls back the blinders on any issue that they're facing in their life. So we can walk anything. For example, all we're doing is setting up an I Am Now statement, and then I'm facilitating them in a walk. And an I Am Now statement can be, I am now my relationship to money. It can be, I am now I am now my relationship to my deceased grandmother. I am now my relationship with my mother. I am now my life purpose. I am now my fill in the blank. It's infinite what we can do with walking in your shoes. And the beauty of that work too is you can walk it yourself, and I can facilitate you in your own walk. Or if you want to observe and it feels like, ooh, that feels really scary, you can pick a representative to walk it for you, whether it's someone in the group, say if we're doing group facilitation, or I can also walk it for the client. So sometimes that can be really helpful for them to see their own process walked and represented by somebody else. It becomes so powerful because they get to observe themselves finally, right? They get to step out of their body for a moment and look at what's really going on and their process, and it brings such deep breakthrough. So that work, those, those two things together in tandem with developing my mediumship abilities have worked together, I think eloquently, to help me be able to not only step into the person I needed to become, but to help others heal and step into who they need to be in this lifetime too.

Yeah, that sounds awesome. I know a lot of times we do carry trauma or we carry grief with us, and I, I'm learning more that we carry it sometimes in our bodies. And we are in this— in our society, we're so much attached to what's going on in our head that we don't really pay attention to what's going on in our body. And as you said, there could be a deeper in there. It sounds like you help people to release or to tap into. Absolutely.

And that's what's amazing about this mediumship work. Like I said, not only do I believe anyone can connect, I know. I know you can. If I just bring you the correct tools, it's going to be inevitable. It's going to happen. You're going to connect. It's only your intention. If you come to me and you have the intention, that's all that's needed. You got the intention? Great. I will take care of the rest. I will set the container. I know what tools to bring you. I know what is needed from there to either help you empty what needs to be cleared or receive the message that you need to receive. And it is different for everybody. And you will ping-pong between those two. Sometimes it is a release day. Sometimes it is a receive day, and vice versa. It is a balance.

You are talking about that container. I love that because it reminds me of— I do not know where this saying is from, but you cannot fill a full cup. We've got to— sometimes if we're holding on to stuff and it's in there, we have to release that before we can receive anything else.

Correct. Correct. And when people come to me, oftentimes their cup is full. Sometimes it's full with what they think they know. Sometimes it's full with depression and sadness and trauma and expectations of themselves and others. Sometimes it's full of old stories and patterns and varies from person to person, but regardless, it's time energetically in the timeline even we're at right now. It's time to put down the baggage, and it's time to reflect on what it is that we've been carrying our entire lives. And some of it's ours, and some of it's not. Some of it's generational too.

So let's talk about what are trapped emotions. I know that's something that you talk about.

Trapped emotions are basically literally, right? It's these feelings that get stuck in certain parts of our body because we don't give them a way out and because we've not been taught to give them a way out. So for example, when it comes to myself and the childhood that I had, I had zero expression. I was trapped, right? I was a child who was faced with her abuser on a day-to-day experience. So I felt like I couldn't do anything. I felt like I couldn't move. I felt like I could never say for sure. So once I started to tap in and learn to channel, it eventually came up that I was going to have to release all of this shame and depression that I had been carrying my whole life, that I didn't even know I was carrying because it was just there for so long. You don't know what you're carrying because you're just so used to the weight and the burden that you don't know what life is like without those things. You don't know what life is like having processed that information. So, and these trapped feelings and emotions, they can live in different parts of the body as well. They can live in the back, in the sciatic nerve. They can live in the heart. They can live in the chest. Oftentimes when I'm doing Walking in Your Shoes, that's literally what comes up is And where does that feeling— where do you feel that feeling most in the body? And they can say, oh, I feel it in my stomach, you know, the most. I feel it in my shoulders, like the weight of the world on my shoulders. How the body carries a trapped feeling is different for all of us. We carry it in different parts of our body and different organs too. Yeah.

Let's talk about human design. I've heard that term before. What is— explain what that means.

We'll get back to Grief to Growth in just a few seconds. Did you know that Brian is an author and a life coach? If you're grieving or know someone who is grieving, his book Grief to Growth is a best-selling, easy-to-read book that might help you or someone you know. People work with Brian as a life coach to break through barriers and live their best lives. You can find out more about Brian and what he offers at www.grieftogrowth.com, www.grief2growth.com. Www.growth.com or text growth, G-R-O-W-T-H, to 31996. If you'd like to support this podcast, visit www.patreon.com/grieftogrowth, www.patreon.com/grief2growth, to make a financial contribution. And now back to Grief 2 Growth.

Human Design is an amazing sort of combination of the I Ching, of the chakra systems, of astrology, and a couple other ancient traditions of learning the blueprint of the soul, if you will. I always tell people it is not about hard— like needing to believe that this is hard truth and fact. But when you start studying and you start putting in your Human Design information, you know, your birth, your birth information, your date, time, and exact place of birth, you can start to see how things were aligned on your birthday and how that energy and that frequency really crystallized, helped crystallize your soul and your body and what you're here to do, what your design, what your soul is here to do, and what your personality is here to do to help you along the way. Those are a little bit different, and I feel Human Design is amazing at helping map those things so that you can start to uncover more about, oh, okay, how is it best for me to move through life? Should I be initiating things? Should I be just doing what I love and waiting to respond and others come to me? Should I be— you know, it's like these sorts of things, trusting in your strategy and authority and starting to just play and dabble. I always tell people, if you don't know Human Design, you don't have to take it as hard truth. Just start to like read into it a little bit and see what like resonates. I've never not seen somebody read something in Human Design and not have a little aha moment. I've never seen it.

So it's just like a reading that you do for someone where they give you the input and you come up with what their design is?

Yeah, I can read their design. I can read, I can look into their life purpose and life life's work. I can look into what helps them maintain health in their body. I can look into what helps their soul evolve quickly. I can also look into what helps them attract abundance in their lives. So there's a lot, there's a lot that can be done and unpacked within Human Design and astrology as well. I do birth chart astrology readings as well, so those are really fun. And amazing as well, especially with Chiron, the wounded healer. If I look at your Chiron placement, I can oftentimes tell some of the deepest wounding your soul experienced here, and we approach that with just love and tenderness because it can be so vulnerable and so sensitive when we tap into some of the greatest pains that the soul is here to experience. But that is the key. It's literally the key. If you go into the darkness and you're brave enough to go there, you'll transform your life.

Well, you know, that's the thing. It's, it's interesting, you know, being here because we all experience pain. We all, we all experience trauma. And then a lot of times people will ask, well, why, why do I have to go through this? Um, and, and you're— but it sounds like you're talking about taking that and, and transmuting that and, and trans— uh, transforming it into something different, into something better.

I'm sorry, you broke up a little bit. Can you say that again?

I was saying we were talking about, you know, pain and suffering. And a lot of times when I talk to people about like our soul's purpose or soul design, we'll talk about, well, why do I have to experience pain? Why would I— if I have— if there's a plan for my life, why would I have planned this? That's a very common question that people have.

That's such a deep question. The thing about the world that we live in, we're here to experience contrast. You cannot know joy without knowing sadness. You can't know white without knowing black. Yeah, you can't know, um, growth without knowing feeling trapped. In my case, we all come here with a specific, how shall I say, like soul imprint or a soul experience we're here to have, right? And it's sort of like the trunk of the tree of our life, and everything else that we experience are sort of the branches. But that trunk, you're here to experience this sort of stamp. And mine, for example, like I just mentioned, is growth. So mine was growth. So you can imagine, if my soul is always leaning towards growth, I would have experienced the opposite end of that growth, which is stagnant, stuck, lazy, depressed, sad, suicidal. I would have experienced everything that would have gone against growth. And we're here to do that at this time because we are here to grow faster and quicker than ever before. This lifetime, best believe, if you're here, you made it here. Kudos to us because this is one of the challenging, most challenging things a soul can experience because we come to forget. Everything. Part of the game, part of the agreement. It's literally like a game. You pick your avatar, you pick your parents, you pick your traumas, and sometimes we sign up for more than we think we can handle. But we can handle it, and there are more and more tools daily that are coming out— spiritual tools, therapies— that are able to help us process quicker than ever before what this is. So why would you choose pain? Well, There's a couple of reasons. One, so you can grow fast, and fast, like, I mean, really fast, even though it doesn't feel like that here in our human years, but it's actually very fast. The soul is growing incredibly quickly. And two, we're here to lift the vibration of the planet. So we are where we are, and humanity is where we are, and karmically, this is where the generations before us and everything have led us to. So we're here to also help take responsibility for where humanity is. And I think in my deepest, purest belief, I feel like humanity is set to take our place amongst the stars and, and claim ourselves as enlightened, aware cosmic beings. I think again, but I also think like never before. So I think that doesn't come without its challenges. That doesn't come with like, Okay, just now you step into it. No, we have, we have the responsibility to move with our pain, to move with everything that would have set us back and to free it and to take it back to the light. That's truly what I believe we're here to do.

Yeah, I love what you just said. It resonates with me so much. And, you know, again, I put these videos up, especially near-death experiences, people will push back against and say, well, I would have never chosen this. And nobody would have ever chosen this. You don't understand that my life was so bad that there's nothing redeemable out of it. I love someone like yourself who went through a severe trauma, but you've chosen to look at it this way. And it, it really shifts your life when you start to look at it. I think you mentioned earlier, kind of like being in a gym, or that's kind of— that's analogy I always use. It's like we're working out, you know, and so you can only get stronger if you have something to push against. And, and that to me is why I feel like— and this resonates with me— there's no way you can prove it to anyone. And I don't even try it. But I'm like, you know, try it on to people. It's like, what if the pain that you're going through really does serve a purpose? What if— and what if you're one of the— like, I— everybody I work with, almost all people have lost children. And I tell them, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, you— to me, you're one of the strongest warriors there is. Yeah, you know, just the fact that you're here says so much about who you are. And people don't give ourselves enough credit.

Oh, I completely agree with you. People come to me battered, bruised, and desperate. And I'm like, do you even understand how strong you are? I help people step into the understanding that they're here to teach their deepest wounds. We're here to storytell. We're here to help our fellow brothers and sisters grow. That's literally what we're here to do. Some of us have more of an individual path than others, but most of us, many of us are here to help look at our wounded brothers and sisters and tell them, "I know what you need. Follow me." And we're all supposed to be doing that for one another. And your pain, specifically your pain, is what is supposed to be healed and then taught. You know, you're not supposed to hang on to that wounding forever. You're not supposed to feel victimized forever. There's a time and a place to feel like a victim. Absolutely. That's part of the process. I 100% understand it. In the healed space that I am now, I look back on my traumas and everything that I went through, and believe it or not, all I feel is love for every abuser, for every pain, because the amount of people that I've helped and the amount of people that I've been able to bring clarity to, I would have never been able to do that had I not been abused. And so it becomes this soul understanding. My soul understands the contract I signed up for and is like, all right, mission complete. I can feel the satisfaction on a soul level from having gone through those things. And it's not something that comes overnight. It's something that comes with continued work. And it's almost like the goal can't even necessarily be to not be a victim anymore. The goal can't even necessarily be to forgive all of a sudden. But the goal has to be to work on all the loose threads that are already hanging out that we can start to pull on one by one by one by one until eventually it creates this gift of deep understanding because you're starting to see that one pain or trauma from these different angles and it starts to make sense over time. But it doesn't— I will say sometimes with breathwork especially, sometimes things can be immediate and the healing can just come because your body's moving out so much old energy. But more than not, it takes a few goes for, for certain pains and for certain traumas to heal. And, and that's, that's the gift of it though. It's the gift of it.

Yes. And, and as you were saying that, I was— there's a woman I interviewed pretty recently and she was talking about she'd been sexually abused, she'd been emotionally abused, and she'd been through, you know, a lot of different traumas, a couple of divorces and everything. But she said, if I value the intuition that I have now, then I have to value what gave me the intuition. Yeah, I thought that was so profound. And that coming to that understanding is, I think, one of the keys to be here, to being on this planet, when we understand, you know, and people sometimes when we say it's a game, or it's illusion, you know, people say, well, that means you don't take it seriously, or the pain's not real. It's still very real. It's a very good illusion. It's a, it's a very, it's a game that we're totally immersed in. But if we can just escape that a little bit with these tools that you're talking about, and start to— I love what you said, pulling on these different threads and just kind of, you know, reframing the way we look at our lives and understanding that it's all part of the plan. It's all part of a design that we can really, we could even start to see while we're here.

Yes, yes. The The detriment to some people not seeing that in this life is they get stuck in the pain so much that they only identify with it because nothing else in their environment has told them otherwise. That's why I believe it's so important for me to train more and more mediums and healers and people out there, because the more of us there are, the more likely it is for more people to catch a phrase or a word or a talk or a podcast about how to shift your mindset and then energetically shift the body to start tapping into these pains. Because these, these are the things that need to be looked at, whether— and I know as a medium, whether it's in this life, the afterlife, or another life, you're not getting out of the lesson. You can take as long as you want, that is free will. You can come back a gazillion lifetimes to learn the same thing if that's what you choose. But I also know that I can help you process through things a lot faster. Otherwise, we can start moving through things faster than we ever have collectively, but it's a choice. Yeah, yeah.

I love, I love that you're giving people that, that choice. You're giving, you're giving them that option to say, I want to do this. Like, I'm going to change your wording there. You can do it the easy way, you can do it the hard way. Yeah. You know, and you can, and you can keep going through it and even when we're here, you know, sometimes, and I think you just said this, like, people get so fixated just on the pain, it's all they focus on. And they start to— the beauty of the world, because there's beauty and there's pain in this world. You know, it's both. It's not like, you know, some people— sometimes people say, well, it's all bad here. It's all pain. You know, why would I choose to do this? It's like, well, there's also a lot of beauty here if you choose to see it, if you open up your eyes. And there can be beauty even within the pain. I mean, we can extract that out of it.

Yes, yes, it's all a lesson. It's all a lesson, and it comes, it comes through intention, and it comes through spontaneity of the tools that you're using to help heal. But the healing is the best part. The healing is how we learn. That is what we're here to do. This is what we're here to experience, where this is life. You're not you already committed, you already have a body, you're already gonna die one day, right? No one's getting out of this alive. Right, right. Let's be real. None of us are getting out alive. You already fully committed to this life. You have a body. You might as well put down the ego for a moment and the stories and at least try to see it differently. You owe it to yourself to be a little more loving and to see yourself from a different way.

Yes, absolutely. One thing I wanted to ask you, I know that you say you work with women and you work, help women with their feminine, you know, release their feminine energy and stuff like that. And I talked to a lot of people that specifically work with women. Why, why is it you choose to work specifically with women?

When I work with women, I often find that they can heal their family at, um, I will say greater lengths sometimes, right? Because women are more interested in healing work in general. You will find that women, you know, the breathwork that I do, walking in your shoes, mediumship, channeling, largely, largely dominated by women. And it's because we're already more intuitive, we're already more creative, we can already sort of see how there's signs and symbols and patterns that aren't just to be understood logically. And because women already like that, it makes the work easier, quicker, more profound, and everlasting. And when I can do that for the women, I can do it for their families. So I find that when I can work with women, I can really help them shift their life experience, but also they can also shift healing for family members that they interact with or maybe even have more distant relationships with., but if I can heal women, I almost feel like I can heal more and more people. And that's not to say I can't do it through men, but I personally see that the impact of working with more women, it almost has a greater impact on the family system, yes? Because oftentimes it's the mothers, it's the women who are leading the family emotionally and culturally. That's sort of where women steer the family, right? Where the woman is emotionally is kind of where the whole family is. And if I can get the woman's emotional state to be deeply understood, integrated, and in peace, then everyone else can sort of fall in line.

Yeah, I love, I love that answer. I've asked that to several people. That was, that was the best answer I've gotten to that question. Um, I think it's, but you know, for, for myself, you know, I'm doing this coaching thing now. We were told to like choose a niche of people we're going to work with, right? And I've been doing this work for like 3 years now, and I'm like Well, I'm not going to fight this. 95% of my clients are women. And I'm like, I don't know why that is. I don't want to abandon the men, but my listeners are women. When you go to— when I go to afterlife conferences, they're women. Most mediums are women. You know, guys, we need to, we need to step up. But so I understand why you do that. It's just, makes me a little bit sad that men can't— are not caught up with that yet. And I, and I wonder if it's I don't think it's genetic. I think it's cultural. I think it's the way that men are— the way men are socialized.

That— yeah, I would say it's a little bit of that. And I would say, um, oftentimes too— I don't want to call this work a luxury. It's not a luxury because I see it as a necessity. But I think oftentimes how society does push men to just be workers and just make money that oftentimes is all they become concerned with, yeah? To make money, to build themselves as men, to be able to stake their claim, to find themselves a wife, to have children. And I think when I look at society and how there's a lot of homeless men, it breaks my heart. And I do think in some ways— I know women, we have our own sets of traumas. Believe me, I get it. And I think men have their own, and I think sometimes society can really disregard men. So I think sometimes their one-track mind is on, okay, I gotta, I gotta make money, or I gotta do this. It's like tunnel vision with men, where women have more of this, like, what's possible? What does that mean? What is that sign telling me? Yeah, we can take in our environments in a different way. So I actually agree that it can be societal, it can be cultural. Um, I believe in all those things.

Yeah, yeah. But the other side of that, uh, with women is women a lot of times, because they're so busy taking care of everybody else, they don't take time for themselves. And, and self-care could be seen as a luxury. I, I don't, I don't have the time to do this. I feel guilty taking the resources to do this. This is, you know, this is a selfish thing to do. Have you run into that as well?

Oh yes, oh yes. I've run into a lot of mothers and wives and women who feel like they cannot receive. They can give love, and giving is like second nature to them, and they can do that all day. But when it comes to like receiving somebody else's love, they like freeze. They like don't know what to do. And it's so important for women to understand that if you are not taking care of yourself, and if you are not diving into your emotional necessities and what your deepest desires are, you are doing yourself yourself and your family a disservice, actually. You're only going to be living life at like 60, 70% of your potential, you know. And, um, the more healed a woman is and the more she understands herself and her power, she becomes a gleaming sort of lighthouse for other women and her family to grow and to shift.

Yeah, beautifully said. And that's what I try to convince people. It's like, you know, you not only are you worth it, but self-care is not a selfish thing, because that makes you a better resource to the world. When you heal yourself first, and like, when you become that lighthouse, you become that beacon that everybody wants to be in. And we are, we are meant to depend on each other, we have to give and receive, we can't just give all the time. People think that that's generosity is giving all the time. It's not really true, because it's just not possible.

Yes, it's so true. In fact, you know, if you receive too much or you give too much, you're out of balance. Yeah, one of the things that I had to realize in some of my relationship was, was that I was expecting to receive more than I was to give, and it was imbalanced. And I had to like really look at that about myself and how my trauma kind of incited me to be this single, like, I have to just worry about myself, it's all me, it's all about me, because that's it. Right? My trauma sort of led me into that, but growing up into adulthood, that actually was selfish, and I couldn't even necessarily meet a need of a lover or a loved one, you know? And I saw, I had to take a hard look at that. So our traumas, while sometimes they can give us gifts, they can also give us pains and things we need to deeply reflect on if we want to grow. We have to take sometimes hard looks at ourselves, and it is Not easy when the ego is invested in those old stories like, "You did this to me and this and that." But it is the greatest gift to be able to heal yourself, to be able to nurture yourself, to take care of yourself in new ways, to learn yourself in new ways, to rediscover yourself. I think there's no greater gift to give oneself and one's soul. Yeah.

What you just said about balance is so important because those traumas can drive us to one extreme or the other. You know, I think about people that have alcoholic parents, for example. You might become an alcoholic, or you might just say, I'm never going to drink again, you know. And people, we tend— a lot of times we do extremes. And whether— if you're abused and you never receive love, you might say, well, well, then now, for all my— I'm ever going to do is I'm just going to receive, I'm never going to give. Or you might be a person that says, I don't deserve love, And then for you, you become a pleaser. And neither one of those is a good thing. We have to— that's the thing about this whole life. It's about walking that middle path.

It's about finding that balance. Yes, I agree fully. And the more that we can walk that path and find what that path is for ourselves, the better, because the nuance of that is so different for every single soul, right? Like I said, I had to learn to give more. And not just only receive. Somebody else is going to have to learn to receive and not overgive anymore. Some people are going to have to even learn what their needs are. Some people have zero clue, especially women like you mentioned, have zero clue what their needs are. So it becomes like they're, they're this lost soul, and it's heartbreaking to see because you can see they want connection, they want deeper purpose, but it's just they can feel so detached from how to get it. They feel so lost. And that's where I always say, you can't do this alone. You cannot do this work alone. And in fact, to be witnessed in this work is the most powerful thing because it's like you saying yes to my healing, me saying yes to my healing, and it just amplifies the healing. So when we can witness each other, we exponentially grow.

We grow faster. Well, that's, that's another very important lesson that we, I think we've lost in our society is that we are not meant to be alone. We are not meant to do this, this work alone. And I love, you know, having this conversation with you. And it feels maybe to people like we're kind of talking about a lot of things because we are, because you have this incredible toolkit. And it's not just one thing that's going to, quote, fix somebody. It's like a matter of coming in and say, okay, what, what tools are going to work for you? And, and this has got to be customized, because we're not all here to learn to give more. Some of us are here to learn to receive more. Some of us are here to learn. We're all here to learn different lessons. And we all have different life plans. And so it's finding out, you know, these, these traumas that we all have. And I think we all have traumas. And if you don't think you have a trauma, that just means you're not aware of it. But we all have these traumas that we're— that are— it's the clue. As you said, I love what you said. It's like, it's the clue to where our life's purpose is. It's that, that wounding is the thing you're here to teach.

That's the thing you're here to learn. Absolutely, absolutely. And when we can accept those with more grace and self-love, the more gentle you are with yourself, the better. You know, stop blaming yourself and stop blaming others as soon as you can and just dive into the work. Take responsibility. It is— if you want freedom, if you want to feel better, if you want to have purpose in life, if you want to walk with confidence, if you want to awaken your third eye and your throat chakra and speak your truth on the daily. You have to take responsibility for yourself. There's no out, there's no other way. You have to just accept everything that happened and say, okay, I was dealt these cards, now what? How can I play this to the best of my ability? Because this is the game of life and you are playing your hand, right? How well can you play your hand? How well do you want to invest in yourself, in your future? And this work work, this spiritual work. That's why it's so, for me, so tailored to the specific woman, because you can't— no two women, no soul compared to the next are going to be the same. So it needs to be for that woman specifically. Yeah.

And you said we have to take responsibility. I want to make it very clear that responsibility is not the same as blame, because sometimes when we make comments like this, we have these conversations, people say, well, you're saying it's my fault that this happened to me, or it's my fault. Yeah, no. So go ahead and expand on that. Absolutely not.

Remember, taking responsibility is not saying, oh, you're not a victim, get over it. Absolutely not. You know, in fact, screw the person that hurts you, you know, while we're at it. But it's this loving— again, it comes from tenderness and love. It's saying, okay, these things happen to me, and I can't ignore the fact that they did. So what am I going to do to take responsibility for the life that I want? Because I know you want something. If you're living a life of pain and depression and anxiety and deep sadness and grief and wounding, I know, I know you have dreams under that. I know you have desires under that. Are you going to take responsibility to get there? Are you going to take responsibility to look at the pains more specifically and uncover, okay, what did mom do? What did dad do to me? What is my inner child saying? What are my guides saying about this? Can I connect to a loved one on the other side to help me through this journey? Yes, you can if you take responsibility and if you lean into and if you welcome that. Really, the responsibility is a welcoming in of the new energy you want to see yourself in, the new frequency you want to be in, the new feelings you want to have in life. That is the responsibility. It's not this hard, you know, hammer to the, to the desk saying, I— okay, I take responsibility. Finally, it's actually super loving, and it's actually mapping out how you want to feel. It's actually mapping out what you know you deserve in life but have never been brave enough to claim. So it's, it's bravery and it's love. That's what the responsibility asks of you.

Yeah, yeah. And understanding that the power that you have to, to make this choice, that, um, it doesn't mean— again, it doesn't mean that it's your fault, something happened. I hate that word, you know, fault or blame.

We point fingers. Yeah, fingers. Me, you, them, you know.

Yeah, we put all that aside and we say, okay, this is where I am, and it is my responsibility for how I take this and go forward. And, you know, I, you know, someone like yourself, you know, you're an example that we can take these traumas in our lives and we can decide, what am I going to do with it? That's the responsibility. It's not what happened to you, It's what you do with what happened to you.

Yes, correct. And how we want to turn, uh, turn our tragedy into triumph, like I had mentioned earlier. They're two sides of the same coin. This is why we have symbols like yin and yang, you know, the darkness and the light. These are fundamental archetypes within human consciousness, within the human experience. We cannot escape them. They're almost these divine symbols that lock our consciousness into a specific pattern, and when we become aware of the pattern, that's actually how we break free from it. So we actually have to, like, we have to realize our divine cosmically ordered limitations before we can transcend them. We have to just accept ourselves fully.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, Candice, um, we're running, we're running out of time, so I'd like for you, any last messages you'd like to, to leave with our, our listeners today?

Um, go ahead. Absolutely. To the women who want to awaken their psychic and mediumship gifts, or to the woman who wants to step into her soul purpose and release the fear, the pain, the anxiety, and whatever else that you're carrying, come and find me. You can email me at rebollocandice@gmail.com. You can find me on Instagram— that's the best place to find me— @candicerebollo. And you can DM me, you can me. You can look at my packages there that I have on Calendly, which is, um, link in my bio, and you can see the different offerings that I have. And everything again is specifically tailored to whichever woman I'm working with. So if you've always had this inkling about wanting to connect with spirit, or you've always had this inkling that you know you're supposed to step into your life purpose and not hold on to the old anymore, come and find me. I will help you. Awesome.

Well, uh, I'll put all the links in the show notes, but not everybody reads the show notes. So Instagram is the best place, and that's Candice Rebollo. So it's C-A-N-D-I-C-E R-E-B-O-L-L-O for anybody that wants to reach out to Candice that way. Candice, it's been a joy having you here today. Uh, thank you so much for what you do.

Thank you so much, Brian. You are amazing. This platform is amazing. Your daughter's super sweet. She was the one who was coming to me and itching my nose saying, uh, ish She's super funny and cute, saying, I like you, I like this one. She was just itching here. Super sweet soul. You did an amazing job raising her, and she gets to support you on, on her side and watch you grow, and it's actually very, very beautiful.

Thank you so much, Candice. Have a great rest of your day. You as well. Bye-bye.

Thanks for listening to Grief to Growth. Brian D Smith hopes that you find this episode helpful. And will come back for future episodes. Brian D Smith's bestselling book, Grief to Growth: Planted, Not Buried, is a great resource for anyone who is coping with grief or knows someone who is. If you enjoy the podcast and would like to support it, there are 3 things you can do to help. The first is to share the podcast with someone that you think it will help. The second is to go to iTunes, rate and review the episode. Episode. The third way you can support the podcast is by becoming a patron. Head over to www.patreon.com/grief2growth. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/grief, the number 2, growth, and sign up to make a small monthly donation. Patrons get access to exclusive bonus content and knowledge that you are helping to spread the message of grief to growth. For more about Brian D Smith and Grief 2 Growth, visit www.grief2growth.com.

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