Unlocking IMMORTALITY: Jonathan Wess' Revolutionary Vision for Preserving Family Stories Forever!

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet.

I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.

I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you. What if you could leave a video legacy for your loved ones that they could receive after you've passed? Well, the guest today, Jonathan West, this is exactly the service that he offers. And we're going to talk about why he offers his service, where what happened in his life to prompt him to do that. And we'll talk about my experience in leaving the time capsule that I left for my family. So stay tuned to listen to the rest of the episode.

Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

Hey there, everybody. This is Brian D Smith back with another episode of Grief to Growth. And I've got with me today a very fascinating young man. His name is Jonathan West. And And Jonathan is the CEO and founder of Time Capsule Family Connections. It's a company that's helping people everywhere to leave a legacy for their families after they're gone. Jonathan is devoted to making sure that every story is heard, and every opinion is listened to. He wants to make sure that no child has to grow up without parents, without a parent's advice, or getting to see how much they have, how much they've grown. So with that, I want to just bring Jonathan in and let him tell his own story. So Jonathan, thanks for being here on Grief 2 Growth.

Yeah, it's great. Thank you. I'm so excited to finally get to record.

Yeah, I'm glad that we're gonna do this. And just for everybody, a little bit of a background. We tried to record this last week. And ironically, since this is what Jonathan does for a living, was my fault. I forgot to hit the record button, but it all worked out for the best. And I'll tell you why as we get farther into this. But so Jonathan, tell people what Time Capsule Family Connections is.

Time Capsule Family Connections is a legacy building service, and what that means is we provide the questions for more in-depth and truthful legacy, and our questions can span really a whole, a whole slew of different topics, but they come from novelists, social workers, psychologists, journalists, and then also people from the Dead Parent Society, so people that really know what it's like to lose a parent and want— wanted to know random things. So we asked— we could ask you a question about what kind of toothpaste do you use, all the way up to what are some of the things that you regret and why, um, or what are the things that you thought you would regret but don't. And it really gets people to think and give you that in-depth legacy that kids would have wanted from a parent that had already passed away. But also, if you do that and you do a journal entry every single month, it builds something up so you can see your own self-growth and be able to leave something behind to your family. So that's what we do in a nutshell.

So when you say you, you ask questions, is this something that's recorded or how does that, how does that work?

Yeah, we record it over. We can record it over Zoom or we can come in if you live 90 minutes from Buffalo at the moment, you can— we can come into your home, or you can come into our office at Seneca One in Buffalo, and we will record you that way. And after, you know, about 20 minutes' time, you'll have a video for answering those questions.

So, um, and what prompted you to get started with this? So you mentioned the Dead Parent Society, and I guess this is a service people use if they want to leave something behind after they've, after they've gone. So what prompted you to get started doing this?

Yeah, so when I was 5, well, 4 turning 5, I lost my father and spent the better part of about 10 years from the time I was about 12 or 13 all the way up to, I mean, currently I'm still doing research about my dad, but really when I was about 20 I finally got a good grasp on what he was like. And it, you know, it took me 7 years and I'm still learning more about him and I'm 23. So I wanted it to be easier for kids that had lost a parent or grown up without one of their parents to learn about their parents and learn about the people that they lost. I mean, grandparents, great-grandparents, it's different when it comes from their mouth. It's different when, you hear the inflection in their voice and you know how something, how much something hurt them or how much something really didn't matter to them, but it was an important part of history. You know, those are very crucial things. And it took me a long time before finally realizing the scope of who my dad was. And I didn't want something like that to happen to someone else. It was excruciating and it was hard. And honestly, it, my life would have been easier if I would have known some of the lessons that he had learned in his life. So, and what I found was no one wanted to talk badly about the dad, you know, no one wanted to be like, oh, he really didn't want to do this, or he was this, or, you know, he should have done, you know, blah, blah, blah. But yet, when I found out about that stuff, it helped me to grow as a person, because then I kind of knew, I kind of knew some things, and I I kind of knew what to expect of others. And I wanted to make sure that kids like me always was able to get that experience very early on and very easily with just a click of the button or looking at your phone.

Yeah, I think it's a really, you know, interesting service. And it was the day that we recorded this the first time. It was just so— it just so happened that day, I've got stuff for my daughter, like all over the house. My daughter passed away, you know, almost 7 years ago, 6 and a half years ago for, for anyone who might not know. I love seeing little reminders of her, you know, so I would happen to be in the basement, I found a note that she had written when she was 12, and she passed when she was 15. And we posted on the board in our basement. So I love finding little things like that, those little, those little mementos. And this is a way of formalizing that, right, of people actually leaving a more intentional legacy than just a handwritten note or something here or there.

Yes, 100%. And that's another thing about our service is the fact that you get space to put things on, like videos, photos, you know, you can download the audio files for voicemails as well. All of those things I think are important as well. So not only do you get to see them talk about their history and what they've gone through, but then you get to add stuff to it to make sure that it's a full thought-out and full-developed legacy, not only for yourself but for others. I mean, we have a client right now that it's doing something for a family member that had passed away and not for themselves as of this moment. And I think that's, I think that's beautiful, and I think that's also a brilliant way to use our service. But you, if you download videos, if you download photos and different voicemails from people that meant something to you, and if you record with us consistently, it builds out a really beautiful time capsule that it's when, when you pass away, your family can just click on a button and see the things that they loved about you without having to search through things, without having to really find out the, the aspects of your life that they wanted to know.

Yeah, so it's something that a service that you offer that people can do either one time, or they could do it on an ongoing basis. And you said kind of build a a real time capsule that we could see how they've changed over time, etc. Is that correct?

Yes.

Yeah.

So we do have, uh, two different types of payment plans. We have one that's just a subscription base, so you can come in once a month and we do a 20-minute video and you answer as many questions as you possibly can in that time, and then it gets added to your time capsule. And that's the one that we suggest because it's using the service fully and exactly how we intended it to be used. But then we also have some for people that maybe just want to do it once every 6 months. And that is a— we do have a one-time fee as well, even though double the cost as if you were to do the subscription, it still is available. And it makes sure that you can kind of leave the legacy the way that you want to do it instead of how a service forces you to do it.

Yeah, well, I, you know, as I've talked to you, and as I've gotten to know more about the service, it just reminds me so many things. I know so many parents who have had children pass away. And I actually have parents who still continue for maybe even years to pay for their child's cell phone plan, just so they can call and listen to their voice on voicemail. Because having that voice, having that recording, we found a video of Shayna a few years after she passed. I don't even know how it came up. But one of her friends had recorded Shayna when she was calling me to come pick her up from somewhere, just a little, you know, random moment. And it's so, it's so precious. So I could see how doing this intentionally could be really beneficial for the people that are leaving this behind.

Yeah, and I think that we talked about this in the past, but one of the things that I do is I keep voicemails from different people. Like, one of them is— I have one from my great-grandmother. I have before she passed away. And then I have— I still have recordings from my grandmother, even though she's still alive. And I still see her, you know, 3 times a week, I know that like she sings to me every single birthday that I have. She'll call and sing happy birthday. And I know that eventually I won't have that. So I have different recordings and the new one replaces the old one every single year. And I actually, that was another reason why I wanted to have this to be, I wanted to have the ability to be able to put in audio because of moments like that that I knew people had. And you want to be able to remember those things, but also Keeping it on your phone, storage is expensive. And I knew that I can't keep all that stuff on my phone forever, but I wanted it part of that legacy. I wanted people to remember that about my gran and about me. So I put that in because of those things. And it's stories like yours that say, like, I heard this recording and it meant a lot to me that helps us to change our service and helps us to make it more adaptable for building a legacy around it.

Yeah, and I know we— a lot of times people might think, well, I've got all this stuff now, you know, I've got all these videos on my phone, I've got voicemails on my phone, and I've saved the voicemails, etc. But one of the things that, um, it's— if it's locked in your phone and you haven't told anybody about it, they may not be able to get to it. In fact, Apple is really well known— a lot of people have Apple phones— they're They're really well known for their security, even the FBI can't break into their phones. And so people have— they've got that information sometimes when someone passes away, and then they're trying to figure out the password. How do I— how do I get to this? And then it's just, it's literally, you know, locked away. So this is a way of making that available to, to your loved ones after you, after you leave.

Yeah, and the best part about our services, it is the most— actually, what most people describe it when they see the service in action is as a very private social media. So they can— you can leave different things, uh, you can leave your time capsule to different people and share it with specific— your specific family members. So it's not like this is left to the world, it's not like everyone can see it, but if you wanted this folder that was just the family photos and let's say voicemails, you can share it with your mother or you can share it with your grandmother or your brother or your sister or anyone really. And those, then only those people can see it, right? They only have access to it, and you only can edit it. So that's a big part of our service is the fact that I wanted it to be shareable. I wanted you to be able to use it to that advantage, but make sure that it was as private as possible, and you got full autonomy over what your legacy would be.

I'm curious, have you, have you had any people who have been on for a while talk about how maybe just doing the journaling has changed them even while they're still here?

I have recorded people for a while, so that do, that do believe that. Time Capsule is in its third phase, which is really fantastic. We spent a lot of time developing Time Capsule. So we've only been operating the way that we've been operating for the past 9 months, which is truly fantastic with, in respect to the fact that we have been recording people for the last 4 years, but now have finally honed in on our craft. And since then, we do have a couple of clients that have said that it has helped families reunite. I mean, the ability to tell one side of the story and the other side of the story and just share a video. And now both sides can say they didn't talk to the other person. They don't have to be like, well, I don't want to talk to you, or be like, this is just your way of being able to hear them out and make sure that they actually get the other side of the story to every situation. Um, a lot of the time when we hear people do journaling, they don't believe how much they've changed. One of my best friends did this as a favor to me very early on in the time capsule stages and then became a client. And she watched her first video probably about a month ago now. It seems like a lot longer, but now I think about it, it was within this year. And couldn't believe how much had changed. Couldn't believe, you know, she went from being a teacher's assistant to a full-time sub, and now hopefully to be getting into a full-time position. And talking about her dog and how, how different she was from when she had— she first got her dog to now. And now has a long-term boyfriend and all these great, great things. So it was— it's cool to see how much people grow during our service and how much people get to see that happen. Because from month to month, things happen. I mean, I was— I went from living by myself and living out of my mother's house and then coming back in to save money because I'm, I'm working towards another goal. And part of that was being able to save money. But I went from, you know, having of big space, going out all the time, you know, working and building this company differently. And then a month later, all of that was different. Everything changed and you change day to day. So being able to have that record every month, it's just fantastic to be able to see how people react when like, I can't even believe that was just a month ago, or I can't believe that was 5 months ago. God knows I have different friends from 5 months ago. Like it's It's crazy. And I think that's the beautiful part of it is you get to see it now and then leave it behind later. So people get to see how much you've changed and what you learned over time. And the fact that right now this is what you know, and then the next video you might be like, oh, none of that was true. Yeah. Which is very common for the, just how humans are.

So yeah, you know, it's, I've journaled off and on since I was in high school, really. I took a creative writing course and they taught us about journaling. And it's really wild. And every once in a while, just the other day, I was cleaning out my office, and I came across some old journals. And just to flip through them and see, you know, how things have changed and the way you thought about things at that time. And again, with the videos, you know, they've got— you've got them in the server, you go look at them, you know, so as you build these things up, people can look at it. But the very process of journaling, of talking through this, and I went through this actually with one of my clients, is only one I've ever done it with, but it was really cool. She said, I just like to hire you to just tell my life story. So we would book 1-hour sessions. And she started from the time she was a little kid, she's talked about her grandparents. And she's, she's older, she's in her 70s. And right up until the age she is now. And she was thinking about writing a book. But as just talking through that, as we went through this, took a couple of months, I could see real changes in her, you know, and how she looked at her life. So I can see something like this really being beneficial to people in ways they might not even expect.

Yeah, I think that's also the beautiful part of it is you can— you still can journal. I mean, I'm not saying that this should be a replacement for journaling. I think this should be an add-on to journaling. I love to write. I love to journal, and I write probably about 2-3 pages every other day, or I try to anyway. There are some weeks, of course, that I just— I don't get to, but I love to do that stuff. But it's different when you hear the inflection of your voice. And if you do it early enough, God, I, I started recording 4 years ago and my voice has deepened since then. I mean, that's, that's crazy to me. When we first started, I decided that I was going to record and I recorded. And then I recorded when I moved into my apartment. And there's so many things that were different in it that I couldn't even imagine. So I definitely— and I read my journal a lot and see how many things have changed. And it just always is jaw-dropping, the difference in between seeing a video of yourself and what you read. Because some things I definitely write more dramatic than I speak. So it's— when I'm writing, I'm like, wow, this is like a novel. And then I speak about it, I'm like, all right, that's what happened. So I think it's important to do both.

Yeah, I think it is important to do both. And the thing is, you know, When we talk about services like Time Capsule, you know, people, they think about, okay, why don't I think about death? You know, it's the industry that you and I are both in, people like, that's, that's not a happy thought. That's a sad thought. But think about, and I would encourage people to think about like, what, how would you feel if you had something like this from your grandparents, you know, that you could, because we've got ancestry.com, we've got all that stuff now we can look up and we could see on paper, you know, who they were, what their names were, and stuff. But now we've got this, this technology that could really free that. And we could be— you could be leaving stuff for generations that you haven't even thought about at this point.

Yeah, and that's the thing too, is I'm trying to change the face, the face of death. It's not, it's not a sad moment. I love the way that Betty White looked at it. And I've talked about this in past podcasting. So, uh, but the way that she talked about it was just— it was— they just— they knew a new secret. They knew something different. And it doesn't matter about faith. It doesn't matter about what you believe happens afterwards. But whatever happens next, they now know. And it's a beautiful part of the way we move on and the way that it— we get to grow now from knowing that person and how beautiful that actually is. So I think that time time capsule gives into the fact that death can be a happy occasion and a celebration of the person that we lost. And not that it's not normal to feel sad, not that it's not actually great to be able to process those emotions, and I encourage everyone to do so. It's the fact that now you get to celebrate their life in the beautiful way that it was, because stories are truly some of the most beautiful things that you can listen to. If you're willing to listen to them. So death should be about the stories that we know and the lessons that we learned, and the celebration of the fact that this person now gets to be something that we are not— that we are not prone to, that we don't have the knowledge to be. So I think that's really what I hope time capsule will be eventually, as a way to reshape death into a celebration of life, which I love. There are so many cultures that do it, and I just think that the standardized American culture— there's still many parts of America that do have the celebration of life. And that, you know, I think it's New Orleans that has a parade for when coming back from the cemetery as a celebration. And that aspect, I think, needs to be more plainly taught and needs to be into what we do when somebody passes away. So hopefully time capsule will take on that fact that it's not— this isn't sad. This is something that we can feel sad about it, but it's not a sad occasion for we got to know them. We had the privilege of learning from them. And now we get the privilege of learning from them for a lifetime.

Yeah, and it really fits right in with— I guess it's a relatively new model of grief counseling. You know, there was— in the past, they would say, well, well, in the far past, when people actually understood spirituality, who we are, people understood that our ancestors are still with us. And a lot of cultures literally keep their ancestors' bodies in the house with them.

So we've—

that would be odd here, but some people do that. But the thing is, then they said, well, we need to get over it. When someone, when someone dies, we need to let them go. We need to move on. That's the way that we heal through grief. And they found that this model doesn't work. So now that the model is what they call continuing bonds, which is continuing that relationship with our loved one, and time capsule fits right in with that, right? It fits right in with— let me, let me pull up a video of my loved one. And, you know, your, your life and my life are also examples that, you know, life doesn't always go the way we think it's going to go. We think our grandparents are going to die when they're old, and we're going to die when we're old. But your father was a young man when he passed away and probably had no idea that he was going to leave young children. My daughter was very young, you know, when she passed. So this is something that, you know, it doesn't hurt to start at any time, I would think.

Stay with us.

We'll be right back.

You know, one of the hardest things about grief, most of the people in your life just don't get it. They want you to be further along than you are. They get uncomfortable when you bring it up. So you stop bringing it up. And that's why I started writing. My Substack is where I go deeper. Thoughts I don't always get to on the podcast. Essays on consciousness, on continuing bonds, on what it actually means to carry a loss and still build a life. The stuff that used to keep me up at night, written out in a way that I hope meets you in the morning. But here's what I didn't expect when I started it. The community that showed up. People who are doing exactly what you're doing. Listening, learning, trying to find their footing. Readers who comment, who share their own stories, who remind each other that none of us are as alone in this as we feel. And that's what the Substack has become— a place to go deeper with me and to find your people. It's free to subscribe. Find me at grief2growth.com/substack. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/substack. Or just go to Substack and search for Grief to Growth.

I hope to see you there.

Yeah, no, 100%. That's the thing is the earlier the better. I would love to start recording students, especially students in college. I think that's such a transformative time and that's what I would encourage people to do. The earlier the better. It's not just about when you know your morality or when you have someone to leave it behind to, but it's about Being able to see what you were like when you were 20 when you're 90. I mean, that's incredible. And of course you could leave a YouTube video behind, but then everyone gets to see it, even if it's a private link. You know, those things are not, are not fully private. And that's what I was striving to do differently, was make sure that you, you started it as soon as you possibly could. And sometimes, I mean, going back to the whole journaling thing, because I think it blends in pretty well here when you're young, especially especially before you retire, you, you don't have a lot of time to journal. You don't have a lot of time to sit down every night because you come home and you're tired. I mean, that's, it's hard where— that's why I don't do this more than once a month. I don't encourage it even. I think that it is something that you want the time to go make the memories that you want to leave behind. You go live the life you've imagined as much as you possibly can. And that's why you sit down once a month for 20 minutes and then I upload it. You know, the company uploads it. We make sure that all that's taken care of so you don't have to. You don't have to spend a lot of time trying to think about what you want to write or even what you want to say. We have all the questions ready for you. So I think that's another part of starting early and starting to do it whenever you possibly can because It's, it's definitely common in this society to not want to leave that stuff and to not want to write, to not want to do that, because it's, it's just too hard. It's too, it's too much time. We're always striving at Time Capsule to make sure that it gets easier for you to leave something behind and to access your videos.

Yeah, well, you know, you made a lot of really good points there. You know, thing is, we all have great intentions. And we all, we maybe intend to journal, maybe we say, oh, well, I'll just shoot my own videos, you know, and I'll just, I'll just put them in a on a thumb drive or something. But, you know, and that's why it's important to really understand the process. And this is where things worked out well for you and I, because we recorded— we, we sat down to do this interview, and it didn't record. So you said, well, let's take this time in the meantime. And let's, you know, let you leave a time capsule. So I did this yesterday. So I've been through the process now. And so I can tell you what some of the differences are. One is it's intentional, right? So if you buy the subscription service, you're going to, you're going to be, you're going to do it once a month because you've made that intention. And the other thing is, and I want to talk about the questions because, and about the times, we'll talk about all three of those things. So the first thing is there was like no commitment of time on my part. Because I thought, okay, this is going to take a lot of time. You said no, we'll start at 5, we'll be done by 5:30. And we were, we recorded for 20 minutes, but it was, it was literally like no time. And the questions that you have— well, you talk about— talk about the questions and where they come from and how that works.

Yeah, and I do want to get your viewpoint on it because I think that's important as well. But all the questions come from a whole slew of different people that we've talked to. I mean, our question base and the way we set up how we do our questioning is actually based on how a novelist builds their characters before writing them. One of my good, good friends is a novelist and she's writing, she's writing 2 books right now and the incredible person that she is. And I sat down with her and said, how do you build a character? What is the first thing that you do when you want to build a personaracter, personaracter, character's personality? And she says, first I get their overall characteristics. I do 3 different things. And what are they really always going to come back to? And then I ask them questions along the way from what they do to what kind of food they like to what they, you know, what they would smell like, all of those things. And it helps them build out their characters. So Time Capsule, you get asked what your goal of the video is. Same thing with what the core, your core value is. And then we ask questions based on how to build out that goal. From there, we've asked journalists about different questions they've asked. We've asked different other novelists as well. We've asked social workers about what they ask their clientele, and we've asked psychologists about what they've asked their clientele as well. And then I am very honored to be friends with many people who have lost a sibling or a family member in general very young that was very important to them, some, of course, fathers as well. Other people have lost grandparents and siblings. But in getting to sit down with them and hear what they would have wanted to know, because I know what I would have wanted to know from my dad, but I'm like, what does everyone else? And that's where I got the question from, which is why I always say it, because I think it's so fun. It's, what kind of toothpaste do you use? And what kind of cologne do you use? Things that I never thought to ask because I had my dad's cologne. I had a full bottle of it. I used it growing up. Having— knowing those things, I think, are also important because then you, you know what— you build that character in your head. You know what they— you know what they were, um, which was truly fantastic as well. So our questions are very well researched. You are only given 20 minutes to answer as many questions as you can. Um, I used to say 20 minutes or 20 questions, but no one ever gets to the 20 questions. You got through 15, and that was the most I've ever gotten through with somebody, uh, or Yes, it was. Um, and that's crazy to me. So I just say 20 minutes now, and then there are 280 possible questions that you can be asked in that 20 minutes, all goal-oriented, all things that really drive you towards what you wanted to know and what you wanted to leave behind. But you can be asked different questions every time, some of the same questions. You get to see how different your answers are changed. Sometimes you get to leave stuff that's just age-based. Really, it, it really spans from A to Z, and that's what I love about our question base is you don't— and you don't get to see it ahead of time. It comes off the cusp, but you get to answer exactly how you think to answer right now. And you can, of course, that question can be asked again next time, and you can always change your answer next time. But that's at its core is why we did the questioning the way we did and why we put so much time and effort into building those questions.

Yeah, I, you know, I said I went through the process yesterday and we just set it up. Today is Thursday. So we, I think we were Monday or Tuesday, we're talking about this and you said, okay, I'll set up the appointment. And I'm like, okay, he's gonna send me a big questionnaire to fill out. I'm gonna have to, I'm gonna give him all his background information. And it was like, no, we just got on and we just started talking like this. So I want to let people know the experiences kind of like being on a podcast, right? It's kind of like you're, you're being interviewed. So I know a lot of people might think, well, I'm not a natural born speaker. You know, I don't know, I don't know what I would say. And you take all that worry away.

Well, that's amazing to hear. Thank you so much. Especially because that's one of our biggest things. When I first started this, I— we were a VR company. And I decided that I was gonna record people and I asked very plain questions and the amount of yes or no answers, even when they weren't yes or no questions was insane. So I went back to the drawing board and did all this research to make sure that you, I say the word describe a lot and I say, why did you feel this way? And it can be, your answer can be, I don't know. And I, but from that, I don't know, I can tell what questions to follow up with based on the 280 that we have. And it will continue to grow. You don't— we don't keep up a conversation. I tried as much as possible to stay quiet during, during every session, but with yours, so that way you got that experience. I just— all I say is I do transition pieces so that way you know where I'm coming from and why I'm asking the next question. That's it. I don't say anything about my opinion. I don't say why I'm asking. I don't say anything like that, because this is about you. And I'm just trying to make it as easy as possible to build that legacy, as, you know, as in-depth and as truthful as it possibly can be.

Yeah, well, you asked— I was really impressed with the questions that you asked. They're very thought-provoking. They're the kind of questions I think that people would want to know about, you know, after, after I'm gone. And as I said, from my part, it was very little work. And I could see people thinking, Oh, I can't talk for 20 minutes. The 20 minutes goes fast because you said we were done. I was like, wow. And, and I do this all the time. So, you know, I did get— I think it was 17 questions I got through, but I was like, because I was timing things. That's what I do when I do interviews. But for most people, you know, if you want to go on and talk about more stuff, I think that would be really cool to go as in-depth as you want to. But it's a real opportunity to think. It's a real opportunity. It's almost like a It's almost like a life review for me, because I'm, I'm 60. So I'm, you know, nearing the end of my life. And in a sense, it's kind of like a life review, like, what do you, what do you want your legacy to be? What do you want people to say about you when you know, when you're gone? And, you know, the questions you asked were, I think, really, really provocative and really interesting.

We'll get back to Grief to Growth in just a few seconds. Did you know that Brian D Smith is an author and a life coach? If you're grieving or know someone who is grieving, his book Grief to Growth is a best-selling, easy-to-read book that might help you or someone you know. People work with Brian D Smith as a life coach to break through barriers and live their best lives. You can find out more about Brian and what he offers at www.grieftogrowth.com, www.grief2growth.com, or text growth, G-R-O-W-T-H, to 31996. If you'd like to support this podcast, visit www.patreon.com/grieftogrowth, www.patreon.com/grief2growth to make a financial contribution. And now back to Grief to Growth.

Thank you so much. Yeah, that's— I was hoping that you felt that way, but I, you know, I want you to say that, you know, the truth about our service, because that's— I'm glad that you had a positive experience as well, because I want people to know what it was like. You know, that was something that I had mentors that are like, well, you could spin A, B, and C, and I'm like, I don't need to. You know, I— this should speak for itself. And it's so private that I usually for clients will give out an NDA and a welcome letter. I'll make sure that's all spelled out and I'll make sure that you know that there isn't anything that's gonna go out. I'm actually tethered by law to not say anything, any story that connects to you and no specific details about stories, which is really fantastic. Of course, there are those like my friend's story that was done for marketing reasons that I talk about. But on top of that, you know, there are definitely stories that I'll tell in a more greater sense, because I can't tell anything specific, nothing can be tethered to— nothing can be directly drawn back to you, because that's part of the NDA agreement. So making it as private and as personal as you possibly can.

Well, let's talk about the privacy, because I know that's a big issue for a lot of people. And they may not even know what the word NDA or the acronym NDA stands for. So talk about How can I be assured that my information is private, nobody can get to it, that you're not going to disclose it? How do I know that?

Yeah, so NDA is a non-disclosure agreement, which means that once I sign it, you get a copy of it with my signature on it. Or anyone that you would be filming with— right now I'm the only person filming, but we have had other people filming in the past— they would sign it. Anyone that's filming with you would sign it, and then the company would sign it. Pretty much you'd get my signature on every single one, saying in specific terms that the person recording cannot say anything in specific terms or put any story back to you specifically at any point in time of their life. It's a lifelong nondisclosure agreement. So it will make sure that your stories stay very, very private, that they cannot be seen and said anywhere else, and that they are— so you can say anything that you want, it will just stay in that video, it'll just stay in that session, uh, which was very important to some of the people that we recorded with originally. How will you know that your information won't go anywhere? We have a private server. Um, it is— you sign in to it, you access your video that way. It is a private server, nothing goes anywhere. I have a backup server on top of that. Like, it's very private to make sure that like no one's gonna hack it, no one's going to get into it. We're very— security is a very big thing for us with this information. Nor do we collect anything of specifics. The only thing that we collect sometimes from from some clients depending on how long they are. For a subscription base, we'll collect your birthday because we like to give out a little birthday thing. But that we— it's not like we sell anything. It's not like we do anything like that. That's all kept private as well. It's important that Time Capsule stands for privacy, for truthfulness, and for making sure that no one has to feel like anything's going to go anywhere. Um, I've spent the better part of 4 years making sure that the company, no matter where we pivoted, that's our core value is staying private, making sure that we stay exactly in that room, and that there isn't anything that people feel uncomfortable saying, because they don't know where it's gonna end up.

Yeah, because I can imagine there might be things that people, you know, don't want disclosed until after they've, they've been deceased, right? So they might want to say, this is a way that I can say this. And we talked about this when we recorded the last time we thought we were recording, we were talking the last time, you know, sometimes, you know, we leave it, we leave a will, which is a cold document. It's just, it's just words on a piece of paper. And people walk in and they're, they're surprised, like, you left this to him, you didn't leave this to me. You know, this would be a way to leave this along with your will and say, let me explain to you why I, you know, why I made the decisions I made. I could see that could be maybe save some real family feuds.

Yeah, so one thing that we do have is when you do do the subscription service, we actually have you sign off on who you're leaving that to. So it could be, you know, son and daughter and mother, father, you sign off on pretty much next of kin. So they're the, they're the person that gets access to it after you're gone. But while you are alive, you get complete access to who you share it with. I mean, we don't share it with anyone without your permission. So when, you know, you can put— do things like explaining your will and then leave the video to your lawyer, or even download it and give it to your lawyer and say, this is what I want, but don't, don't share it until I'm, you know, gone, until you're reading the will. All things we can do, uh, that's really awesome. So pretty much what we recommend in that case is that we have a name that we're allowed to show to, and you leave somewhere in your will that you have this, right? That you have the time capsule, that you want that— go to the service, tell them that you had passed away, and that one person can do that. Yes, we do require a death certificate for you to see it. That is huge. People just like— the one question I got once, which took me back when it happened, was, so if someone goes to you and said, this person died, I want to see this video, But they didn't actually die. How do you know? And I didn't have a plan for that at that point in time. I trusted people that much. Um, that was also about a year ago now. And so now we do require that there is a death certificate involved when you go and come to us and you're like, hey, this person had passed away, here's the death certificate, can you tell me who gets to see this video? And then I'll give the name, and if it is that person, they send me their ID, making sure that is that person, and then gets released to them after that time. I do actually recommend that if it does happen about 90 minutes from Buffalo that you actually come in to see us at Time Capsule because I would much rather be able to see the person. And I haven't decided yet on if I'm going to be able to do Zoom calls with that person first to verify them, but don't be shocked if that's something that happens in the, in the very near future as a procedural thing, as a procedural change that we have to jump on at least a Zoom call and I have to have a copy of their ID and the death certificate. I, like I said, I'm very, very committed to making sure that this is very private.

Yeah, well, in the digital age, and I'm happy to hear you say that because this is what you have to do. And I know I've gone through this with my daughter with Facebook because Facebook— and they've actually now thought about this. You can set up someone as a legacy person for you. If you pass away, they can, they can have access to your account, but they require some proof of the person's being deceased. And I know that Apple's got— they've got a plan for this now, and they're doing the same type of thing. So I'm, I'm glad to hear that Time Capsule is doing that. We'd love to be able to trust people, but, you know, people, people do things that they shouldn't do. So we, yeah, we talked about, you know, a lot of different things about this. I think Again, as I hear about it, the more I hear about it, the more I'm like, I love the fact that you're giving me prompts that you're telling me, you know, kind of these are things that you should say, or these are the types of things that people might want to know, because I would never think to talk about my toothpaste or what kind of deodorant I use or anything like that. But those little things do round out a person's character. So I could see why someone would choose to use your service as opposed to just like trying to, you know, shoot some videos on their phone.

Yeah, and that was important to me too, which I found it was interesting because I didn't think about how a person smelled as being important, but then some people really forget how the other person smelled and how the other person was and how important that is to have a smell that would remind you of somebody is truly fantastic. And I have used it myself, told a video that I had in my own making of what my dad smelled like. And what, you know, cologne he used and all of that stuff and what shirt my mom still wears. And I mean, all of that stuff is stuff that you don't think about saying because it's just part of your daily life. And yet, so important after you're gone. So, so important.

Yeah. One of the things I asked you for a list of questions before we get started. And one of the things you said was like, time capsule, some time capsule somehow helps social workers. How do you guys help social workers?

Yeah, so we are a way of doing legacy therapy, which is amazing. And I have done some research into legacy therapy and realized how we could help. So we are a way of collecting that information from clients, um, and making sure that you can get that well-developed way of building a legacy to make sure that they see their life mission, that they really get to reassess how they are and where they're, where they're going. Um, which is crazy and amazing. Uh, I have a sister who is a social worker and her and I have talked about this a bit about legacy therapy and how it helps and being able to be provided. I mean, we have another service that I have not talked about yet where you don't need to be on a call with me. I can send you a question once a, uh, once a month, once a week, depending on how you set it up and you record a 2-minute video. About just answering that one question. And that's another way of doing legacy therapy is I work with social workers on setting up those questions and setting up that service, which I think is really fantastic. So it gives social workers an easier way to provide that and to help their clients in that way.

Wow, I had not heard of legacy therapy. One of the things that I do as a coach, I think is really important is help people think about their legacy. And it really takes us out of our head of thinking about all the little things, all the day-to-day things we have to do now, and talk about what do you, what do you want to leave? What's, what's the big thing you're trying to accomplish? And not, not what next job do you want, or how much money do you want to make? But you know, how do you want to be remembered? So I hadn't heard that term before. But I'm 100% behind the idea of getting people to think about their legacies, because it really really elevates your life. I mean, so that's, that's a benefit you can have here and now, as opposed to just, this is something that's going to happen after I'm, after I'm gone.

Yeah.

And usually legacy therapy is really seen as like palliative care, palliative care, which I'm trying to kind of remove it from like end-of-life care. But it's not, you know, it's definitely something that helps that sector. And I You know, I'm very happy and very honored that Time Capsule can be a part of it.

Yeah, well, it could definitely obviously be, be useful at that time, because that's the time people tend to think about their legacy. Imagine what the world would be like if people thought about their legacies when they're in their 20s.

Yeah.

If they said, what do I want my legacy to be now? How would it change what you do on a day-to-day basis?

I mean, what I want everyone to imagine especially is like, imagine being able to raise your kid without being there. I mean, it's— of course, ever— you want to be there for your kid as much as you possibly can. But let's say you do pass away, but you started recording when you were 18. How amazing is it going to be that you can just record different things and have your kid just like watch the different videos? And they, you know, the lessons that you learned, and now you're teaching them those lessons. They know how you did things. They know what you— why you pick the different deodorants that you did. They know why you know, how to shave now. They know how to, you know, they know how to even brush their teeth a different way or how to interact with, you know, the gender that they love. I mean, that is huge, huge things that I got to know because from living with all women, all women. I mean, I had two uncles, one lived in Seattle and the other one lived only came around every now and again. So, um, and I had a third uncle that came around only for holidays and birthdays. So like, it was not too— it wasn't prominent in our— in the family. So it was hard growing up as being the only man and then going to school and seeing how the boys acted different than me. It wasn't because I just was taught differently, because I was taught from all women's. I never got the man's perspective. And to think that— I want everyone to think about how important it is to get the other side of everything. Absolutely everything. And to be able to raise your kid, even if you're not here, just by letting them see your life path is so important. And definitely why Time Capsule was created.

Yeah.

And another thing I can see, as I can say, speaking as a parent, you know, a lot of times when your kids are going through difficult times, as a parent, you've got to be the bad guy. You've got to say this or that, but you could lay down a time capsule and say, "Here, let me explain to you why I'm doing what I'm doing!" Right? That they can't hear maybe when they're a teenager or, you know, they're going through those times, maybe you could leave that legacy so that when they're 25, 30, 40 or whatever, they can say, "Oh! That's where they're coming from!" And you know, they have that revelation of you weren't really the, you know, the bad guy, that you were really on their side. So I just, I'm just, as we, as we're talking, I just see more and more applications for, you know, doing this on a regular basis.

Yeah. And the thing is like time caps can be used in so many ways. I mean, from helping two sides of the aisle in government to be able to see each other's side without political retribution, from, you know, being like, oh, you talked to the other side, you did this, you're not doing party loyalty. I mean, that's a whole thing that I would love to work on. Working on campaigns, letting candidates seem more lifelike and being able to share videos that they want to share. I mean, you have different ways of end-of-life services. You have new parents, new college students. When you buy a home, being able to record homes and being able to see how it started compared to how it ended and where you— how you grew in that space.

All—

I mean, just tons and tons of things a time capsule can be used for. And I'm happy to say that we've already been used for a couple of those. So it's definitely awesome. And I think that the more you think about leaving your legacy behind, the more things that you realize it's how important it is to leave that legacy behind.

Yeah. Yeah. And so, um, I've already kind of touched on this, but do you think that time capsule could help people recover from their grief?

Yeah. Time capsule. When I was growing up, how I really was able to move forward and be able to learn something was through family videos. I mean, watching all of them, picking apart how my dad acted around us and how my mom acted after he was gone and how my sisters were and being able to see that, it definitely helped me to move on and find peace and know what he would have been like. These videos, especially, and leaving a legacy behind will help so many people to move on as well, because you get to move on at your time. Then you don't have to leave them in, you know, in the past right away. This is a way that you can watch videos and be still very, very upset about it 6 months in, but then all of a sudden in the 7th month you start to realize that they're always going to be there physically as well as, as well as in the spiritual sense. And you can finally start to realize that Maybe it's okay that I go out and learn my own things without them. And maybe it's okay that we work on ourselves and who we're going to be because they're all— these videos are always going to be here. And I know this video is about career. Okay, I'm going to watch this one now and see what they would have had to say about my career choices. This one's about legacy and about leaving something behind. Okay, I'm going to see how they would have thought about, you know, the person that I am about to marry. All of those things are ways of helping you move on and helping you to find who you're—

the—

your life mission and who you're supposed to be.

Yeah.

So I want to ask you some, some of the nitty-gritty now. So where can people find out more about Time Capsule? What plans do you offer? We kind of touched on that, but just get more specific about what plans that you offer.

So you can go— you can find out all of that information by going to www.timecapsule.com. Timecapsulllc.com. It's very important that you use the LLC. It's timecapsulllc.com. Um, that is— that's our website. There is a timecapsule.com, and we want to make sure that everyone knows it's timecapsulllc.com. I'm going to keep saying it over and over again until people— people realize. Um, but right now what we have is we offer a online version like this, which can be filmed from anywhere in the world. You can actually bring anyone to that session that you want as well as, as yourself. And that is $14.99 per month or $29.99 one-time fee. And then it goes up from there. But you can also, if you live 90 minutes from Buffalo, New York, you can— I can come into your home and film you there in a space that you're familiar with. And studio lighting and everything like that. That's all stuff that I'll bring to your home and we'll have a 20-minute conversation there. Or you can come down and book an appointment with me at my office at Seneca One Tower in Buffalo, New York. And we can film in that setting as well, which is a little bit cheaper than the in-home version, but all good, all good aspects. The one thing that we also use is a— we use a third-party service called Memory Fox to collect data as well. And data— I shouldn't say data because that's not, that's not right— uh, we— to collect videos. Um, the— and that will be— we'll give you a question a week or once a month. We'll, we'll talk about that when you sign up. Um, and It takes 2 minutes to answer the question, and then you upload it to that and we take care of the rest. It ends up on your time capsule. So that's only going to be $9.99 a month, and that you can keep going with that as well. So all amazing things, but definitely go check us out. You can find customer, customer testimonial. You can see some of the people we're partnering with. You can see all the different aspects of what we do. At www.timecapsulellc.com and feel free to contact me. There's an info@timecapsulellc.com. I watch that email as well as my personal email is on there as well. Feel free to reach out and ask any questions that you would like.

Yeah, well, I got to say, you know, talking to you and I know I'm so sorry for the loss of your father at an early age.. But I believe that things— I always hesitate to say things happen for a reason. I know that really irritates some people. But I say this, we can find meaning in things that happen to us. And we can use those things to spring us forward. And I love what you're doing in terms of you building your own legacy. You're, you're a very young man, but you're building a business that can really, I think, I know, I think I know, can really touch people in a very deep way. So I know your father would be or is proud of you for doing what you're doing, that you've built out of this, this thing that happened with you.

Thank you so much. Yeah, I think we said this last time. I love the idea of making things happen for a reason. I grew up with the phrase, everything happens for a reason, and I live by it. There's always a reason why you have to go through this right now. And But make your life happen for a reason. Make something go wrong, like, like we did with the, oh, that didn't record. Okay, but now you got to see what the service is and now you got to come from a place of what a customer standpoint would look like. I mean, make it happen for a reason. Just because something happened that was poor, feel free to feel bad for yourself for a little while. God knows that I've taken a day because I just can't do it, but some days. But get up, get up the day after and make it happen for a reason. It's going to be beautiful. And every life, every story is beautiful. You just have to make it so. And your life is your life. It is your journey. It has nothing to do with anybody else's. So if you, if you think life is beautiful because you get to go to a cafe every day and write, or there could be someone that travels the world, or someone else is CEO, or someone else is starting a company. That's all legitimate ways to know that your life is happening for a reason and why your life is just beautiful.

Wow, absolutely. What a fantastic way to end. Jonathan, thanks so much for being here. And good luck to you with the company.

Thank you so much. I had so much fun.

Thanks for listening to Grief to Growth. Brian hopes that you find this episode helpful, and will come back for future episodes. Brian D Smith's bestselling book, Grief to Growth: Planted, Not Buried, is a great resource for anyone who is coping with grief or knows someone who is. If you enjoy the podcast and would like to support it, there are 3 things you can do to help. The first is to share the podcast with someone that you think it will help. The second is to go to iTunes, rate and review the episode. The third way you can support the podcast is by becoming a patron. Head over to www.patreon.com/grief2growth. That's P-A-T-R-E-O-N.com/grief, the number 2, growth, and sign up to make a small monthly donation. Patrons get access to exclusive bonus content and knowledge that you are helping to spread the message of grief to growth. For more about Brian D Smith and grief to growth, Visit www.grief2growth.com.

Hi there, I'm really excited to tell you about my latest ebook. It's 4 lessons that you can learn from the near-death experience without going through all the trouble of dying to learn them. I've been studying NDEs for several years now. I am completely convinced that not only are they 100% real, but that there's some very universal wisdom that we can get from the near-death experience.. And I've distilled that down in this book into 4 short lessons. And I've also given you all the reasons why I believe that NDEs are absolutely real. So go to www.grieftogrowth.com/NDElessons to pick it up for free. www.grief2growth.com/NDElessons.

I hope you enjoy it.