What's Sabotaging You Is Coming From Within

You know you need something, you're just not sure what. You've been listening, you're doing the work, but there's still this feeling that you're circling the same place, like you're waiting for the thing that finally moves you. Now maybe you've thought about working with me one-on-one. Maybe something's held you back, the timing, the money, or you're just not sure you're ready yet.

I get that. And I want you to know there's still a place for you.

I built a resource for exactly this moment, guided meditations for when the waves hit and you just need to breathe. Workbooks to help you get out of your head and onto the page, ebooks on what near-death experiences tell us about the people we've lost, and whether they're really gone, a full course for widows and widowers who are ready to find their way back to living, and a full course for the evidence of the afterlife. And all of it is available for pay what you want. Nobody gets turned away because of money. I think these resources are valuable, but I don't want to hold them back because you don't have the money to pay for them. You don't have to wait until you're ready for coaching. The next step might be a lot smaller than you think. To find out, go to grief2growth.com/store. That's grief, the numeral 2, growth.com/store. And check out the resources I've made for you. Hi there, I have a very exciting announcement to make to you today. I'm participating with my friend Sarah Brassard in a trauma recovery summit. And this is going to be covering proven ways to break free from trauma. So if you've been broken, if you feel like you're isolated, if you had any issues that you're dealing with in your life, and haven't we all, this is a place for you to be. It's gonna help you to overcome stress and anxiety.

Also, it's going to be free.

It's online. It's October 6th through 9th. There'll be 35+ wellness experts, including myself. As I said, I've been working on this with Sarah for a couple of months. We're really excited about what we're bringing together for you. If you can't make it live, that's okay, you will get the recordings. So you just have to go to the website and sign up using your email address.

Address.

It's traumarecoverysummit.com/Brian.

You can register there. Go ahead, register now. As I said, when the event comes about October 6th through 9th, you can do it then.

But you can also get the recordings if you're not able to make it live. So again, that's traumarecoverysummit.com/Brian. And I do hope to see you there. Have a great day.

Hi there, welcome to Grief to Growth Podcast. Your host is Brian D Smith, spiritual seeker, bestselling author, grief survivor, and life coach. Brian believes that the worst tragedies of life provide the greatest opportunity for growth. Brian says he was planted, not buried, and he is here to help you grow where you've been planted by the difficulties in life. In each episode, Brian and his guests will share what has helped them to survive and thrive. It is his sincere hope this episode helps you today.

Had a couple of interesting experiences yesterday that I wanted to share. So I'm taking this course in Positive Intelligence, or PQ for short. And what it is about is learning to understand when we're getting hijacked by our— these things that live inside us, we call them saboteurs. And we have one main saboteur called the judge, which we all have. And that judge judges ourselves, judges circumstances, and it judges others. So we judge ourselves as being less than, we judge other people for not doing the right things, and we judge our circumstances not being good enough for us to be happy, and we wish for something different. And along with the judge, there are these different saboteurs that come along. So what's really interesting, I've been doing this for about 3, 4 months, I guess now. I took the 6-week program, and I'm going through a coaching thing. And I'm really starting to catch on quickly when the judge and with these saboteurs take over. So yesterday I was looking at— I was getting a notification to renew my domain on GoDaddy. And this domain for a blog that I have that actually has been dormant for 7 years. I didn't realize it. But the last post I made on that blog was the day that Shayna passed away. I must have made it in the morning when I was in my office working and forgotten about it. And I switched to a different blog literally the next day. So I've abandoned this blog for the last 7 years, but it's a blog that I started when I was doing my Christian evangelism, if you want to call it that, proselytizing. And it's called A Beautiful Heresy. It was after I discovered Christian Universalism. So it's got a lot of my old writing on it. So I kept it around. I've been renewing the domain for the last 7 years just to have it for posterity's sake. So I go to GoDaddy, and I see that, you know, I can renew it for like $20 for the year. And I'm thinking, should I just let it go at this point? I literally have not posted on it in 7 years. I don't know if Kayla's ever going to care about this at some point in the future, if she's going to want to read what I wrote or not. Nobody's reading it now. It's sitting there dormant. Nothing's been posted for 7 years. But then I see this little thing that says for $1,000, you could possibly sell your domain because people might be interested in buying it. It's a— it's an old domain name. It's been around for a while. It's, it's short, it's a .com, etc. So that I thought I could maybe make $1,000 on it. So I'm like, great, for $1,000, I'll sell it. So I go on, I, I sign up to sell it.. And then I see I could possibly get more money for it. Um, there's a service called AfterNick, and if I go there, I can, they, they'll give me an appraisal. So I'm thinking it's worth nothing to me at first, right? I'm thinking I'm just gonna let it go. Then I find out it might be worth $1,000. So now I'm excited about it. So I put it on there and I, I listed it at $1,000, which is what GoDaddy estimate might be worth. And then I get a thing saying that for $25, we will appraise the domain name for you and tell you what we think it's worth. So I'm thinking, okay, well, for $25, why not? Might be worth even more. So I put in, so I put in the thing for the appraisal and they come back and they'd say it's worth $2,300. Now here's where it gets really interesting. I was thinking it was worth nothing and I was like just gonna let it go. Then I thought it was worth $1,000 and I was really excited. Then I realized when I got this appraisal back that it might be worth $2,300. That I had it listed for $1,000. And what if somebody buys it right now for $1,000 and it's worth $2,300? I'm going to be disappointed because I could have made $2,300. So suddenly that $1,000 I was really excited about, I was in a panic thinking, what if somebody makes me an offer before I can go raise the price to the higher price that I got the evaluation for? So that's the interesting thing about how things in life are relative. You know, it's like when it was worth nothing, I was okay with being worth nothing. When it was worth $1,000, I was happy. When I found out it might be worth $2,000, and I thought I might have to let it go for $1,000, then I was upset. So it's all relative. Then I started thinking, okay, well, $1,000, that's really great. But wouldn't it be nice if it was worth more? And I started thinking, well, $1,000 is not really going to change my life. I'm not even going to notice $1,000 difference, you know, in 6 months or a year. It'd been nice if it'd been worth a lot more. So my judge is now starting to tell me that this found money, this found, if I sell it, right? This found money is not good enough. It should be more. I wish it was more. So I'm already unhappy with the money I haven't even gotten yet. Then there's just, there's, as I was saying earlier, that we have the judge, and then we have these side saboteurs, and these, these accomplices. And one of them is called the victim. And the victim is the one that says nothing ever goes right for me. It's, you know, it's someone else's fault that this happened to me. Those types of things. So then my victim kicks in. My victim says, okay, well, they might have said it was worth $2,300. But you know, you're never going to get that much for it. It probably won't sell at all. And if it does, you know, someone probably offer you $500 for it, or maybe even $50, or maybe you'll just sit there for 6 months and nobody will ever buy it. So I've gone from a state where I woke up in the morning, I wasn't even thinking about this. And I wasn't— I was content because it wasn't even in my mind to I'm just gonna let it go, to I'm really excited about making a lot of money on this, to you're probably not going to make that money, then to it's not even gonna, it's probably not even gonna sell at all. And I was noticing how my saboteurs play with me, so that no matter what the circumstances, they find a way to find the negative in it. The judge is telling me that I could have made more money or should have made more money on it. Victim telling me it's probably not going to happen for you. So those, those are just examples of what was going on. So tying also that into something else that was going on with me at the same time, I'm working with these other coaches in this program. So I'm working with these coaches in this program. And we're talking about how we're going to do this, we're all getting certified, we're going to be offering this thing. And we're really kind of excited about it. But I started thinking, well, they all have established practices, they already have clients, I don't really have that many clients, I hardly have any clients at all. And no one's going to want to pay me this much money for this. And yes, I know other people have gone through this, and they've made so much money, it's been so successful with them. And I've had other coaches come into the program, they've given us testimonies of how great it's been for them. But my, my victim, the guy that says this is not gonna happen for you, starts kicking in and says, this is not going to happen for you. So I have to fight that, you know, the thing is, right now, I'm working on some really exciting major things that are going to be ready to roll out later this year. That could really transform my business. But my victim keeps telling me that it's not going to happen for me. And I'm confessing that to you right here, that the thing is, even though we go through this mental fitness training, which I've been through, and I love, and it's actually changed my life, we still get triggered. The question is, how quickly do we figure out that we're triggered? And how quickly do we recover? And that's the thing that's really important. That's the thing that I'm finding I'm starting to observe with myself is when this happens, I'm like, ah, that's your judge. Or when it happens, it's like, ah, that's your victim. You need to put that voice aside. You need to listen to what we call the sage, the other side that says that's a lie. And that's a lie that we tell ourselves. We all do this. We all do this self-sabotaging. It's a really weird part of being human. There's some complex reasons I don't have time to go into in this particular broadcast about it. But it's something that we all do. So I'm putting this out there for you so you can recognize when this goes on with yourself, when you start to say to yourself, the situation isn't good enough, or this isn't going to work out for me, or something you're— when you become unhappy with a situation in which you could be very happy, and things are always— there's always a good and bad in life, there's always a mix one way or both ways. So that's my confession to you for today. Let me know if you had any similar experiences. Have a great one.

Hey there, now that you're here at Grief 2 Growth, I'd like to ask you to do a couple of things for me if you would. Make sure that you subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast app. Also, please leave me a review. That's very important. Go to ratethispodcast.com/grief2growth. That's grief, the number 2, growth, ratethispodcast.com/grief2growth. And there's instructions there on how to leave a review. The third thing is, if you're a regular listener, and you'd like to leave me a tip, I've tried to make that easy for you to do. So just go to my website, grief2growth.com/tipjar. Or go to grieftogrowth.com and look for tip jar in the menu at the top of the page, or the Buy Me a Coffee button at the very bottom of the page. Thanks. Hi there, I'm really excited to tell you about my latest ebook. It's 4 lessons that you can learn from the near-death experience without going through all the trouble of dying to learn them. I've been studying NDEs for several years now. I am completely convinced that not only are they 100% real, but that there's some very universal wisdom that we can get from the near-death experience.

And I've distilled that down in this book into 4 short lessons.

And I've also given you all the reasons why I believe that NDEs are absolutely real. So go to www.grieftogrowth.com/NDElessons to pick it up for free. www.grief-the-number-2-growth.com/NDElessons.

I hope you enjoy it.