How to optimize a Shopify landing page (CRO tutorial)

So I've got to be honest, I'm confused by reading this on what you are offering. So a gift that suits him, unique in the world. And I'm also, by the way, I know you're in France, so I know some of this text might be wrongly translated, but I understand that what you are selling fundamentally is the jewelry, right? And what the unique value proposition of what you're selling is the fact that the woman The girl can customize it. Okay, so she can kind of tailor-make her jewelry. I understand that. But in order for me to understand that, I've had to read what you, what you sent to me, and I had to kind of look at your website. So how can we communicate that instantly in the hero section? Obviously, if we can do that instantly in your hero section, you're going to be able to hook more people in. So the photo of the app, I think, is, is fine. But the only issue with that is I also feel like, you know, are people going to think that you're selling an app rather than the jewelry itself? It seems almost more like tech heavy because you're selling the tech rather than selling the jewelry, which is the really the thing that people want, right? That's what they want. So what I would recommend is if we want to stick with this photo of the phone, then we need to, we need to get the copywriting. So the headline to better explain what this is. And the other thing that I'm not sure about is that you're basically saying a gift that suits him, unique in the world. And then we're saying give her the freedom to create her own piece of jewelry. So yeah, it's a bit confusing. And then you're saying give him the box set. Now I'm not sure if this is an issue with the translation. And then she creates her jewelry. Yeah, this is where I'm getting confused because what's he, what's the, what's he gonna do with the box set? And then we have a photo of a woman here holding the box. So it doesn't make any sense. Him. I'm assuming that might be a translation error right there. Okay, so this might, this might negatively affect what I'm auditing here. But let's just try and break this down. If you're selling, so what you're selling here, okay, is this app. And you're selling the fact that they can get the jewelry. So let me just go, let me go and check out your social media because this might, this might help give me a little bit more context. Okay, so what does this mean? MS, and then that's your website, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Okay. Let's just check this out as well. Let's translate that to English. Okay. I think what we want, what we want is not to just push this image of the laptop or the phone. We need, we need more of a photo of the women with the jewelry on them because this is more powerful, definitely more powerful emotionally, because again, that's the thing that they want and the message that you need to be selling them on. The man who's looking at this or the woman who's looking at this is the fact that it's tailor-made, it's unique to them. It's going to be more personal. Like, this is the most personal item that they could ever get, the most personal piece of jewelry they can ever get, because you've created this piece of technology that allows them to customize everything. So what I think should be going on here is a hybrid image in your hero section with maybe not a laptop, Although I do think this is really good, even though it's not a phone. I do think the laptop is really good because look at it, it really visually explains how you can customize it. So maybe this will work, putting in this, this GIF image in there with a photo of the woman as well, like maybe a photo like this. So you're going to combine them. That's what I'd recommend to do so that they're going to see a human in the photo. So it's going to feel like a fashion company. It's going to feel like a fashion brand because You know, normal fashion brands, they don't just have a photo of like a phone with jewelry on it, you know, almost feels like a SaaS company or a software company. You don't want to position yourself as a software company. Because again, you're kind of losing that, you're losing that fashion, that premium human sort of feeling, I guess you want to say. But this is obviously your unique selling point. But the unique selling point is not going to be— don't sell them on the technology, sell them on the fact that it's more personal. That's what I would lead in with. You know, when you shop with us, what we've done as a company is we've made it super easy for women to customize their own piece of jewelry that's tailored to them and do it affordably. Like, that's what, that's what you're kind of selling them on, right? So that's what I would lead with. So when it comes to your hero section, let me summarize this again on the page. I would use a photo here of a hybrid. So what I mean by that again is a photo of the technology, ideally probably a video or a GIF showing someone like customizing it either on their phone or I think this one of the laptop is really good. I think it really does kind of explain it and sell it. And then what I would do is also include a photo of a woman with the jewelry in there. So obviously, how are you going to do that visually? I think you're going to have to get creative on it. Let's see if there's anything, by the way, on your Instagram. I'm not signed in here to my account. So yeah, it's going to, it's going to do some weird things. But let's just have a little quick another look and see stuff like this photo like this really powerful, a lot more visual. I would, I would have a little bit more of a close-up photo of the jewelry. So you want to have someone's face in there. That's really important to have that human connection. The eye contact is really good. It's like a marketing thing. When people see another person's eyes staring directly at them, they're going to stop, they're going to, they're going to be more hooked in, right? Because the eye in human psychology is the most powerful part of the face. You know, that's what we're always looking for. So something like like this could be good. The only thing that I don't necessarily like about this, this image is I just feel like the jewelry is a little bit too small there. So what I would say that you could do, even on a photo like this, is maybe just crop it a little bit more so that you're zoomed in a little bit more to, you know, the actual jewelry that she's wearing. Then the headline needs to be more to do with what you even have on this separate page. So something like this, a little bit more trimmed down. So in a few words, so You know, create your, create your tailor, tailor make your own piece of jewelry or something like that from 100 billion combinations or whatever the, how many combinations did you say there was? Let's see. Yeah, tailor make your jewelry from over 170 billion combinations. So that's kind of how you can do it. This can even be in your subheadline or you can use 3 bullet points. So like tailor make 'Your jewelry,' or 'Tailor-make your jewelry.' Some headline that makes it super personal so they understand, okay, by shopping with you guys, I'm going to get super personal jewelry. Over 170 billion combinations to choose from. And basically, this is going to be the proof that backs up your bold promise that it's going to be— you're going to— what you should sell them on is you guys create, offer them the most personal jewelry they can ever get. But at the— that's still affordable without them having to go to like a really expensive jeweler and get something literally custom made from, from scratch and go through all the time and the, and the process and the money involved with that. Okay, so this is your proof. And then the other things you can do with this is you can reinforce the gift angle. So it makes for the perfect, the most personal and perfect gift, something like that. So that's how I would lead with it. Instead of leading with in the headline, the gift that suits him, Because again, I'm assuming that people have literally just clicked on an ad that may not give them a lot of context on this. And then when they land on this page, you're kind of saying, okay, it's the perfect gift, without first explaining more about how it works, hooking people in. So those are my tips when it comes to the hero section. So in summary, again, lead with the photo of a woman wearing the jewelry, show the laptop in there, that's going to— or show some way of showing people actually customizing it. So have like a hybrid image. In your headline, I would reinforce the uniqueness and the personal nature of the jewelry and the fact that they can't really get this level of customization anywhere else without paying a huge premium for it and putting in way much, so much more time. So that's what I would lead with. And then in your subheadline, you can either keep a subheadline as like a little paragraph of text like you've done here, or you can go with the 3 bullet points. And the 3 bullet points, again, they should explain, they should back up your bold promise, your headline should be the bold promise, what are you selling them? So instead of selling them on the gift that suits him or her, sell them on the fact that this is the most unique way, the best way to get unique jewelry, that's what you want to sell them in their, in their headline in a few words. And then you want to back up, back up that bold claim with proof. So list out, here's how many billion combinations that we have with our app. And here's how quick it is to actually get it. Here's how more affordable it is. And here's all the people who've shopped from us and they've, they've, they've had a really amazing experience. And then of course, you can reinforce the gift angle, makes it the perfect gift. So and then instead of this button, offer the experience. Again, I'm assuming this is not translated correctly. Maybe you can just say customize your jewelry or, or however the next step works. So I'm assuming And again, I'm not sure how your process works. So how does it work? Give him the box set, a pretty gift box, explains the explanatory booklet and a unique code. Okay, so they have to choose which item of jewelry they want first. Okay. Just want to understand more about this. So give the option to add natural stones to jewelry. Okay. So they have to pay up front and then they get to customize it. Is it? I'm assuming that's how it works. Okay. I see. I see. Okay. So this is kind of all the gift, the gift angle that you're going down. 30,000 pieces of jewelry already created. I would add that into the hero section. Great proof. And then maybe add in a quote. This is what you could do to reinforce the gift angle without you having to directly say it yourself. So for example, yeah, a must-have and a great gift idea. Nice, simple. Concept is innovative. My jewelry is magnificent. I created it with my sweetheart who gave it to me for Christmas. This is powerful because it says gift without saying gift. But it's really powerful. I created it with my sweetheart, gave it to me for Christmas. It works for all tastes and ages. I wouldn't include that last bit. Try and try and see if you can pick out some really, really powerful reviews that talk about the personal nature of the jewelry that they've received and the gift angle. If you can do that, that's going to be super powerful. I wouldn't necessarily call out the gift angle yourself. Okay, because you don't need to. You've got customers there who are, who are literally talking about it themselves. And that's way more powerful to a new customer who comes in and reads that. And then what you need to do in your headline and your subheadline again, is in the headline, in a few words, in as few words as possible, explain what you are actually selling people on. And it's— and what you're selling people on should be the end desire. You know, it should be the end desire you're going to— and now what is that? You're going to get the most personal, jewelry possible without having to break the bank for it, right? And then the subheadline, again, should explain how they're going to— how you actually help them achieve that through what you're offering, through your product. So you can either in here, maybe give a little mini explanation of how it works briefly, how the whole process works, or you can just reinforce trust on this promise. The billion dollar, you know, the billion amount of combinations, How your app works, how many people have signed up, etc., etc. That's what I would do. That's what I would say. And of course, the most important element in this section is going to be the image that you use. And I would certainly try a hybrid image, try and get an image in here that shows people, shows a woman with the jewelry, like wearing it, because that's the end result, right? And then of course, you can have some form of technology in here as well, showing how they've actually got to there. And that's, I think, how you're going to make this really, really powerful.