Overcoming Barriers: Dr. Krista Gonzales on Resilience, Career, and Motherhood | Podcast

You're fine until you're not.

Yeah.

And then I wasn't. And so finally, when this parenting coach asked me to breathe, to take a pause, to take a moment, it was like the most beautiful feeling I had felt in so long. I could feel like, literally a surge of warmth where I did not feel like I was drowning in that one moment. And I'm like, this feels amazing. I want more of that. So that's when I realized that there was a different way to do things. And because I wasn't drowning in tantrums, because I knew how to parent differently, that was one piece, right? That freed up time and emotional space and capacity. And then I was like, I want to live more like this.

Welcome to the Rise, Shine and Redefine podcast where we explore personal growth, relationships, and transformative mindsets. I'm Karen Meininger, your guide and ally on this journey. Imagine a space where your true beauty shines, where every challenge is a step toward your best self, and where family and personal development intertwine. As your BFF for mindset mastery, I'm here to share insight and laughter, to guide you through the highs and lows, and to celebrate your journey towards authenticity and fulfillment. Join us as we redefine what it means to live beautifully, love our journey, and embrace our true selves. Let's rise, Shine and redefine together.

Hi everyone. Welcome. Welcome back to my show today. I have a very special guest today. She is one of the rare unicorns in the medical field. One of only 5.8% of Hispanic physicians in the United States and an even smaller fraction as a Hispanic woman. She is a triple board certified physician in obesity medicine, endocrinology and internal medicine. Her journey is nothing short of remarkable. Having overcome significant challenges of racism, socioeconomic barriers and more, all while becoming a beacon of hope and guidance for so many. She is here to share her story of resilience, transformation and her mission to help others navigate the chaotic waters of careers and motherhood. We all know how that is a work life balance. Please welcome my dear friend, Dr. Krista Gonzalez. Welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you here. How are you?

Great. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure.

Oh my goodness. So triple board certified doctor, a mother of two and doing the damn thing. I love it. I'm so excited that you're here and to share your journey. How so? So take me on it. So how, where, how did you become a triple certified? A triple board certified physician? How does one become one of those?

Yeah. So you like to take a lot of tests. 1. But no, it's been a journey. I had a passion for medicine since very young. And so prevention actually, you know, through my life journey was really my passion. I've seen unfortunately, way too many people from my background, from my culture, I'm Mexican American, pass from, from heart disease and diabetes complications, strokes, and it's hard to see that many people go so young. And it's a very preventable, preventable, you know, disease to treat. And so obesity is the underlying, the underlying cause of all of these. And lifestyle, of course, plays a huge role in that in genetics, our obesogenic environment. So my goal is to help as many as I can in any way that I can. And prevention, addressing the underlying cause in, in my opinion has been, you know, biggest way to do that. And so you start by being board certified in internal medicine. So that's like your, your primary care doctor and then endocrinology being diabetes, thyroid, bone, and then eventually obesity medicine. And that's for, for weight management. So that's kind of the, the journey in two seconds.

Yeah. And what made you keep jumping, especially as a Hispanic woman? Right. I feel like there's a lot of. You said there's a lot of racism and I'm sure there was a lot of backlash for you to even get to that point.

Yeah. And for. So I grew up in Southern California and short background there, our culture, our community underwent a cultural assimilation. Nothing to the extent that the Native Americans went through. Well, at least it's not as published or vocalized. But again, we were largely discouraged from speaking Spanish, from talking about our cultural foods. Not me as a young person, but my parents and my grandparents. And so my mother actually never learned Spanish. And I'm Mexican American, Mexican on all sides, all throughout my entire lineage. And so my mom never learned Spanish because my grandmother did not want her to. She did not want her to be mistreated. In school, the kids were unfortunately hit if they spoke anything other than English. And I remember my dad's, he had mentioned a story to me being pulled over by a police officer for no reason. And he wasn't doing anything wrong, just driving in a different part of town. And the police officer told him, you know, I'm shocked that you speak such good English. And my dad was born in this country. I'm fourth generation American with that Mexican descent. So we feel just as American as everybody else. But at the same time, it's kind of a dynamic pull between the culture where you also feel very Mexican. That's Our culture. That's our background. So, anyways, long story short, regarding the language, I did not grow up speaking Spanish. And in certain communities, I was looked down upon for not speaking Spanish. And in other communities, I was. I took people by surprise because I was Hispanic and I don't speak with an accent. I used to dye my hair blonde at one point. And so I was in rooms where people would misspeak all the time about Mexican Americans and they didn't realize I was Mexican American. So my professional career has taken me into these rooms where I don't. I did not commonly see, you know, other Hispanics. And. And because I was in these. These other rooms, they just didn't. They didn't know. And unfortunately, they let their ignorance. They revealed their own ignorance to me very quickly. As a child, we used to love to go into the mountains, go camping, vacation in the summertime. It was beautiful. It was a great childhood. In Southern California, you were living on the foothills of a mountain, very close to the beach, and we would drive up the mountain and in the mountains is our rural communities. And I remember distinctly as age 7, they didn't want me to use the restroom at a local restaurant. And I remember the feeling of just discomfort and kind of feeling like you're walking in on eggshells. And my mom had told my dad, let's leave through the back. And they had experienced that when they were young. And my dad said, no, we walked into the front door and we're leaving through the front door. We left through the front door. My dad was a very proud man, or is a very proud man. And. And when we left through the front door, there was a bridge. And we were looking over the bridge to over a creek, and there was another little girl with her mom. And her mom pulled her away from me. Me and her were next to each other talking, and her mom said, we don't talk to those people. So that's always, like, stuck with me. I can't even believe it's bringing up a lot of emotions, but yeah, yeah, yeah, that imposter syndrome tends to happen. I did not expect to get this emotional. I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's okay.

I haven't told that story, actually, to anybody outside of my own family. Yeah.

And it's okay. It's okay because there's a part of you that felt excluded, and there's a part of you that needs to feel that love, and it's okay. That little girl is safe. She's safe. Yeah. Yeah.

So, yeah, imposter syndrome is not only very relevant amongst women, but, you know, those of us with certain experiences, it's there.

Yeah, because. Because right until we're seven years old, we have our belief systems told by everybody else. Right. And you're, you're the scientist over here. But I know there's something called. And I might be messing it up, but the critical factor in the brain where it kind of shuts off like once you're seven, it's like that, that bridge is closed. And it's such a interesting metaphor that when you were seven and you're seeing this little girl and going over this bridge, it's like, nope, that belief system is set in place. Like, I'm not good enough. You know, I don't belong. And now, now you have this bridge that's trapped your brain into believing that about yourself for so long. Right. It's like now we have to come back and reparent ourself and that little girl and tell her how much she's loved and how much she belongs. And you find that from within. And thank you so much for sharing because I know how challenging it can be to be vulnerable and to bring up old stories that still affect us. And all it's showing you is that she's ready to come up and out and she's coming full force.

Yes, she is.

Doctor. And that's something to be so proud of. And now you're able to empathize with the patients of not feeling good enough and not being, and not feeling like they belong and being excluded and really knowing how that feels so you can be with them. Right.

Because I love how you bridge that. Because you're exactly right. A lot of empathy was built over the years.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's a special experience to have with a patient.

And this experience happened for you. So you can be a better doctor. Right. You can be. Have the bedside manner and you can go into a patient's room that maybe she's a Hispanic woman and be like, I got you, girl, I got you. Right? Because we don't get that doctors, I don't go to doctors. They scare the crap out of me. Right? They do. Because the only thing they could tell me that's going to make me happy is that nothing's wrong with me, but anything else that comes out of their mouth is going to freak me out. So to have a doctor that's not only been through the racism, the struggle, the challenges, rising above what people believe aren't, isn't even possible, and being able to step into that Room and feel seen, heard and understood, right? That's all we want as a patient is we want to feel seen. Even, even your 7 year old self wants to be seen and she is being seen, right? And when you go back to that moment across the bridge, it's like, what can you tell her? What you. What, what, what can you tell her from, from this place of love, of this higher ver, this adult self? What does she need to hear?

Yeah, no, that's a beautiful way to put it. You can, can envision it, which is, which is wonderful and it is funny because I didn't actually, until you mentioned it, realize that you're, you're absolutely right. This particular population, and I know this, you know, you know this in the back of your head, this particular population of people that struggle with obesity, they are the people that feel unheard and unseen and not listened to fully. And I can't tell you how many people I've seen in my room that in my office, that they cry. You know, they cry because they for the first time are feeling hurt. And that as a female physician, actually patient, there's been multiple studies to support this and that's going back to my personality.

Go for it, girl. This is a 5 on the enneagram, you guys. Just in case you're, you want to know more about us, this is my, my five right here.

But there's been multiple studies to support that. People do demand more from their female physicians. They, they not only ask them more questions and expect more than their male counterparts, but they are more vulnerable to them as well and the demands are higher.

And why, why do you think that is?

I think because we have that empathy piece. We're good at listening, right? And we're good at making people feel heard and seen. And so I think that is why also there's kind of a double standard, unfortunately. So, yeah, we're expected to do more just naturally. Nursing staff, the demands are higher amongst nursing staff as well for female physicians rather than male counterparts. I remember my husband, he's a nephrologist, a kidney doctor. We did residency together and we were doing rounds together because he had finished early and he was, you know, doing rounds with me and he was a year ahead of me, so he was my senior and he looked at me after a nurse. We had an encounter with a nurse about a patient. He goes, why do they talk to you that way? And I was like, what are you talking about? That's how they talk to me when they talk to you that way? No, they never Question what I do. And I'm like, well, that must be nice. And multiple female physicians will tell you that, you know, that double standard is truly there.

Yeah, yeah. It's, it's like, as women, we have to really prove ourselves in this society and really rise above and, and show up. And it's like, God, why do we have to fight so much harder? And especially as a Mexican American woman, you have to fight even harder. And it's this constant, like, we're under this constant societal pressure of proving ourselves to feel significant in the world, and it becomes really hard and a lot of pressure. And so now we're women doctor. So not only are we the woman doctor, trying to prove ourselves in that world, we're the mom, we're the wife, we're the daughter, we're the sister, we're the caretaker, we're the logistics manager, we're the house manager, we're running all the account, all the accounting. Like, we are literally superwoman. And it's like, how can we manage? How can we manage it? I know, I know. You're a mom of two now. You had your daughter during the pandemic, and I was really privileged that her daughter was in my son's class. And she is a ham. I love her. She, she, she, she is amazing. And I know you said that there was some, you know, loss of identity during this time. Like, here you are trying to make it in the world as a female physician. Now you're a mom during the pandemic. And what happened?

It doesn't come with a guide, does it?

No, no, no.

I learned. So being a type 5, I was, I didn't know what to do. I had to research. Right. That's what I do. I needed to follow an algorithm and my husband was like, why do you need to, like, why do you need, you know, this information? Like, just follow your instinct. You're good. What? I don't have that instinct. I have been training for the last 13 years to be a physician. We're actually trained to deprioritize our own humanity, you know, sacrifice, sleep, sacrifice, you know, our own well being, and just ask for more work more and more and more and more and accept it and say yes to everything. So boundaries aren't there, you know, when it comes to work in life, unfortunately, 24 hour shifts, I remember. It's absolutely ridiculous. And so after being in that mode for so long, that's the exact mode I went into when I got into motherhood. Okay. I did residency. I can do this too. And I don't need to sleep. Well, not only does. And being an endocrinologist, I know about hormones. Not only is this a completely hormonal process, it's highly emotional. Sleep helps you regulate your own emotions and how you respond to things and your executive functioning. And if you sacrifice sleep, my goodness, it all goes by the wayside. So it was a difficult balance, and I re. I had reached out to a parenting coach, as, you know, and conscious discipline for tools. I was the type of person, I need tools. Okay. I don't know what I'm doing here with this mother role. I need somebody to help me navigate this new journey. And I didn't just the being a mom, deprioritizing my career to be a mom I love, but at the same time, I had. That was an identity crisis in itself, because I remember growing up, my mom was a working mom. My dad helped with us, but she also managed the entire house, did all the laundry, paid the bills, she did everything, and she worked. And she was my super mom. And so I was like, oh, I could do it. My mom did it, no problem. So, yeah. So trying to fit into that. That role, it was very, very difficult. And so I had to reach out for help. And I reached out to a parenting coach who the first thing that she taught me was to pause and breathe.

Let's do some star breathing.

Yes, star breathing, definitely. And she gave me the tools of conscious discipline. I needed those tools to hang on to, to know what to do next, because that's who I am. I needed something to know what to do next. And I think it empowered me beyond what I possibly knew it could. And I feel like if we just give moms tools, it is so empowering. It empowered me to not only stop to breathe, to know what to do next, and to be okay if I didn't know. I had that, like, pause time right while I was breathing to think of a solution. I tapped into my executive function, and instead of, you know, thinking with my amygdala and fight or flight mode and just shouting out something and then that having a consequence and a waterfall effect of, you know, maybe a tantrum or something, I just went back to what I knew what to do, which is use my brain. Yeah. And with, of course, the most loving and empathetic approach, which I learned from my mom, thankfully. And so that was the first thing that she taught me to do when I reached out, and I'm like, this coaching thing is amazing. How do people not know about this? Yeah, I didn't Know about it, you know, before that moment and before I reached out for help.

Yeah. And for you guys listening, who don't know what conscious discipline is, it's really in one sentence. It's learning how to validate feelings and meeting your. Not only your child, but yourself where you are. And we learn to understand, okay, are we safe? And then once we feel safe, because if we're not safe, we're in fight or flight, right? The nervous system is all out of whack, and we can't use the executive functioning of our brain because we haven't insourced our safety. And then from the safety piece, we go to the emotional and is like, are we coming from an emotional state? Are we coming from fight or flight? And then once we can get through the emotional, we can get to the prefrontal executive thinking. And my little science, which isn't much, but is in our children, the prefrontal cortex really doesn't develop into fully into their 20s. So as we're mirroring and reparenting ourselves and showing up for our children, they're still learning. And you said your mom was a working mom, so now you're a working mom. My mom was a working mom. I'm a working mom. Like, it's like they're like, we are the role model. And so when we start taking care of ourself, your children are going to learn how to take care of themselves too. If we're go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And don't learn to pause and breathe, we're gonna burn out. And that's what we're teaching our kids. Right? We want to be the mirror. So when we. And also, conscious discipline is emotionally regulating.

Right?

So it's like learning how to validate their feelings and also getting them to emotionally regulate so we can help them be more resistant in life. Because if they're more resistant, then they're going to feel happy and joyful. And it's like. But in order for that to happen, we have to do that for ourselves first. And if you're coming home as this burnt out, stressed out, I can't breathe, I can't sleep, mom. How. Who is that serving?

Absolutely. No. I felt like I was drowning in work, in housework, and, you know, not spending enough time with my husband. The childhood, the duties of having a new baby and pumping, and it's never ending.

Oh, don't get me started on the pumping. Oh, oh, man. You men do not get it.

It's exhausting.

Yeah, yeah, it's exhausting. So, okay. So let's just recap. You become triple board certified. You have your daughter. During the pandemic, we have an identity crisis. We ask for help because it is so important to ask for help, because when we have support, we feel seen, heard, and understood. And then we can thrive. We can really show up in our full, authentic self. Okay, so what happened? All of this chaos is happening. You. You reach out for the parenting mentor, and what starts to happen. Walk me through how you start to find your groove again.

Oh, it's beautiful. Everything started to change the minute that I paused. And my mom, although she was go, go, go until the wheels fall off, when I had my daughter, she immediately said, you need to take care of yourself. And I blew her off. I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. You're fine until you're not.

Yeah.

And then I wasn't. And so finally, when this parenting coach asked me, you know, to breathe, to. To take a pause, to take a moment, it was like the most beautiful feeling I had felt in so long. I could feel, like, literally a surge of warmth where I did not feel like I was drowning in that one moment. And I'm like, this feels amazing. I want more of that. So that's when I realized that there was a different way to do things. And because I wasn't drowning in tantrums, because I knew how to parent differently, that was one piece, right? That freed up time and emotional me, space and capacity. And then I was like, I. I want to live more like this. And so I transitioned my career. I went from working 60 hours a week, because if you're a physician on paper that works 40, you probably work 60 to working on paper 20 hours a week. So I was working 40, and I was in a position. My newer position allowed me more flexibility, but the demands were. They were high. The medical field, they always ask more. And until you say no, that's when they hear you, and you're like, oh, I can say no and okay, but that's the only time they stop asking for more.

Yeah, I want to dive more into that. Because boundaries, right? Oh, what a trigger word for people. Because how do you set up a boundary? How do you say no?

Right.

We're people pleasing all the time, and we want to help everybody. And then at what point do you create the boundary where it's not. Give me a second to get my words, but where it's. You don't want to set up the boundary where it's so hardcore where you're cutting everybody off, but you also need to have a boundary so you're not in the people pleasing mode. So what, so what did you do? You learned to say no, I learned to say no.

So I learned to talk differently, too. And part of that comes from, you know, my, my education not only in obesity medicine, because there's actually classes on how to talk to people, because as physicians, you know this. Not everybody's bedside manner is created equally. So we're not, we're not trained to how to talk to people, sadly. Right. Like, we're treating people. That's who we're treating. We're not treating numbers, we're not treating diseases. We're treating people. And unfortunately, that. That communication goes by the wayside. It's kind of the last thing that's thought of when you're learning all the science. So fortunately for obesity medicine, you know, the, the science is there. We know how we have to reach people on their level. And so my, my communication changed after being certified in that. And so I learned how to say no in a different way. So I said, you know, this is a, this is great. The team needs this. Again, going back to us as a team, I don't have the capacity for that right now, but so, and so might, or we can do this a different way. But the communication definitely changed. And I was able to say no, which is great at work first. Right? That was the first thing as a Hispanic woman. And this just, this is back to me being a personality 5. But the Pew Research center just came out with a study that showed that Hispanic women or Latinas are expected to be the moment. Okay. And by the mom, I mean do it all. Cook, clean, take care of your husband, take care of your children, 100%. But now the expectation is also they're expected to have a career, which is different than in the past, of course, you know, so there's that double pressure. So saying no at home, culturally for me was really difficult. Really, really difficult. But my husband, thankfully, is a modern man. And also, like I said, we went through training together, so he gets it. He gets the demands of the career. And so we, you know, approach things as a team. And the parenting coach actually was very helpful in mentioning that. She didn't really call us like, you know, a team, but she, she mentioned speaking the same language, for example, we have to know how to speak the same language as everybody has to be on board. And I did sports as a, As a young, you know, child in high School and almost college, but so I was very involved in sports. So team that spoke to me tremendously. So. Yeah. So using that form of communication was very, very helpful. And also, you get a lot more bees with honey. And you can. It's a different way to get your spouse on board when you're not telling them to do something instead. And I learned this from going to therapy, asking them to take something off of your plate. And therapy in the Hispanic culture is also a very foreign topic. Right. It's very taboo. So I'm doing all the things differently.

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's so interesting. I love the team dynamic, right? And as we're more in the modern world and the women are taking on more, it almost seems like the men are taking on less. No bias, I promise.

But.

But it's like, how do we keep up? And I love what your coach was saying about taking a pause because we don't have permission. We feel there's no permission to stop and to rest and to pause. And we need to give the permission to ourselves. Like, hey, if I take a deep breath and pause, I can re regulate my nervous system. And then I can come from a clean place when I communicate with my husband when I need to say no. And I can communicate my needs without the you need to do this and you should do that and you shouldn't do this and kind of telling and talking at them and you're able to kind of be in the receiving. Right. I feel there's. I'm a huge believer or a fan of the masculine and the feminine energy.

Right.

We have like the yin and the yang. And I feel like women, especially the, the mompreneurs, the working moms, the doctors, the lawyers, whatever, they are in a lot of masculine energy. And we forget how to receive. And we need. We're doers, right? As society is pushing us to do more, do more, create more, be more successful. Do, do, do, do, do that. We forget to be. And we need the doobie doobie do dance for the. To be in the harmony, to be in the center. And something I learned, I learned the other day is, is in my certification course, we were talking about how we want to feel free and we want to feel responsible. Right? And so, and so we have the Phoebe from France who's smelly cat, whatever, fun, free, doesn't care. And then we have the Monica of the world who's like, I'm responsible. And I feel we all just need a little more Phoebe in our life. You know, we've become so Monica. And so full of demands from others that we can't just be anymore.

I completely agree. And it allows you to be vulnerable and build trust with your spouse as well because you're in that receiving mode like I'm taking care of you, you're taking care of me. We're in this together rather than building resentment. So I'm a big fan obviously of just based on training, optimizing my performance. Right. And that's another team sort of like mentality I feel like. But even optimizing, you know, your life so that you can enjoy it and make it enjoyable, it's okay to do that. And I feel like our society exactly what you're saying. There's so much responsibility that if we're not struggling then we're not, we're not working hard enough or we're not doing it right and Right, right, right, like.

Or the life is too good right now. Something bad's about to happen. It's like we can't just be and enjoy in the, in the presence of what's good.

Right.

And it makes me so sad. So I'm curious when. So your, your husband's a doctor, you're a doctor, you have two kids. How do you manage, how do you manage time with your kids, time at work, time with your husband? Do you have a system?

Yeah, we do now.

Okay.

We didn't always. And I have an eight month old, well seven month old, almost eight. And so right now I'm also putting it in my brain that there is light at the end of this tunnel and I remember what that looks like because the nights are, you know, a little bit difficult, not getting consistent sleep all the time. Like I said, sleep is the foundation of health and well being and emotional health as well. So it makes it harder. So anyways, that being said, we do have a system now. We ask for help and we have help and we're fortunate enough to have that help. So we live near family and my mother in law helps, my sister in law helps as much as they can. We have a nanny that helps as well. And also, you know, there's, we help each other. We have our own checklists and our own duties. There's apps for family planning not only to help brain dump all of the responsibilities onto and hold each other accountable, but you know, I can't say enough how much women hate asking their husband or, or you know, to do something or their spouse to do something and it doesn't get done. And you ask like five times. Right. I mean, let's use technology to leverage some of these things for us. And why not? It makes it so much easier. The bills get paid. I see it on a checklist. It's done. That's fantastic. So, yeah, we leverage technology on top of, you know, having other help. I used to have a cleaning lady that helped once a week, and now she helps twice a week. And that second time helps me with laundry because laundry is the bane of, like, every woman's. Every mom's existence. Right. Oh, yeah.

I. I love the. I was listening to a podcast and they were talking about laundry. And it's not our responsibility for you to have no dirty clothes. Laundry is a cycle. There's always going to be laundry that needs to be done. There's always going to be laundry that's in the washing machine. There's always going to be laundry in the dryer. And it's just a constant cycle, like it never ends. And it's kind of like it's kind of life. It's the same thing. We're just constantly in a cycle. Our job is, you have a piece of clean clothing to wear, not no dirty clothes at all. And I just love it. It just makes so sense. Like we're constantly in a cycle.

Yeah, absolutely. Accepting those things, for example. Right. That's difficult to accept in the beginning. And then you learn it's okay. It's not the end of the world. It's not the end of the world if the house isn't immaculate, if there's some dirty laundry, you know, there. It's not. Those are the things that we learn to accept so that we can be present in the moment. And having a team of people to help also frees up the time to be present with the kids. So I am fortunate enough to be able to have that much help. But, you know, it is okay to let some of that go every once in a while so that you have that quality time with your kids and with your spouse. And me and my husband, so we were in marriage. It's always great to work on it, even if things are going well. Right.

That's the best time to work on it.

Absolutely right.

It's like teaching your child to breathe when they're not having a tantrum.

Exactly. So that they have one how to do it.

For sure. Love that.

And so we now hold each other, you know, accountable to having a weekly date and to making that happen and making, you know, regardless of what's happening around us, to have alone time. And that date doesn't have to be us going out somewhere. Which, that's nice when you get to do that. But with a seven month old, you don't always get to do that. But you know, we go outside by the pool and have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine and it's out of our routine. So. And we are vulnerable and having a conversation with each other and that is time to help, you know, invest into the relationship.

Yeah. And I love that because you get you. When you make something a priority, then it happens. For the moms that aren't sharing connecting time with their kids or they're not sharing connecting time with their spouses, it's because they're not making it a priority. It's when, when you make something a priority and you'll do it. And I love this mindset hack of when you're in the to do list and you're like, oh my God, I have to do this, I have to do this and you change it. And I didn't come up with this. But when you change it to, I get to like, I get to go to work today. Right. And you, and you come from this place of, of gratitude instead of frustration. We raise our vibration. Right. And we become happier beings and we attract more clients and more patience and more free time or more connection, whatever it is that you desire. We can start attracting more of those things. When you start changing the language around the things that are, that you think are holding you back. Right.

And you feel better doing it. Right. You just feel better being able to do it.

Yeah. For example, I took my son to camp today and it's like 40 minutes away. It's far.

Oh, wow.

And when I was working my nine to five, I didn't get to do that.

Yeah.

Like, I didn't get to take my son to camp or pick him up from school. And now it's like, oh, wait, I get, I get to pick him up and I get to drop him off and I get to have that time with him in the car. And it's just changing the way you look at it. I love the, the mindset shifts too. Perspective. It's like once we change our perspective, it's like for you with, okay, I had this perspective of not being good enough as a little girl and Mexican and it was really challenging. But I'm like, no, I'm going to use that to my advantage now. You're in the top 3% of women physicians in the Mexican community. I mean, it's incredible. And you should be so proud of yourself for being able to use the struggle to rise, thrive, redefine. Throw my podcast in there. I just think it's so beautiful. So you want to plan retreats for moms?

Absolutely.

Right. Okay. I love retreats. Tell me what this looks like. I am very excited to hear about it.

Yeah. So my experience at the longevity center that I worked in, it was a longevity center that was also medically based. And I got to see every single day people pausing to self reflect, to exercise, to rest. And a lot of these people were, you know, older individuals, and they were finally pausing late in life. And I remember seeing this and being like, I don't want to pause that late in life. I want to pause now. I want that life now.

Yeah.

I don't want to have to struggle through life until I get to the point where physically I can't enjoy it. So that was one very revealing thing. And also I was counseling these people every single day. Do you need to sleep seven to nine hours a night? You know, for your health, for emotional, physical, well being, Exercise is a top priority. And all of these things, I'm like, I'm not doing any of that. That's very hypocritical.

Yep. Do as I say, not as I do.

I need to do that. And I told him, I have that conversation with my husband. I'm like, I want to live my life now. I want to enjoy my life now. And I want to do what I recommend because it's beautiful and it's wonderful. And I see these people transformed every single day after they leave. And so I wanted to provide that experience and that safe space for moms to emphasize we don't have to go through that struggle. You mentioned me leveraging my struggle. I don't want to see people struggle to make it. I want to pass on that gift to others that, hey, you can make it, you can be happy, you can enjoy the present, and you can also have a career. You know, some things will have to give. Like, you will either give on work. There's always, like, just like the laundry. Right. There's always things to do at work. Especially for a female physician. It's insane.

Yeah.

There's always something to do. It's always going to be there. The laundry is always going to be there. The dirty dishes always come back.

Yeah.

But taking that moment to pause and get yourself out of that cycle and reflect upon, you know, where you're at now and where you want to be and how you want to change is beautiful.

Yeah. I love insourcing. Let's do it now. Like it's like, we have to earn rest. We're. We're taught we need to earn the rest, but no, no, we can have it right now and we're going to be better because of it.

Absolutely.

And I love that. I love. I love having the retreat for moms where they can decompress and be taken care of and be under a doctor's care. I mean, that is such a beautiful thing. It's like, oh, if, you know, if there's doctors and coaches and therapists and all the whole support team, and I recommend for everyone, build your team. Start building your team.

Absolutely. No, it's super important. And so, yeah, so it will be a safe space to take that pause, to decompress, to breathe, which is the first step. The second step is, you know, so what happens when you get home? What are you going to do? Is life going to go back to what it was before? I hope not. I hope you hold on to that feeling of rest as long as humanly possible and remember it and, and have the tools to keep it going. So the second piece is providing those tools, providing that knowledge of how to pause, how to reorganize organization. I have never been an organized person in my entire life until now, and it's little by little and it's happening and we're all a work in progress. But now I'm far more organized than I used to be. And that, like I said, even, like brain dumps, leveraging technology to help with that organization piece of just makes things run in the background. So much easier than just struggling through every single task.

Yeah. Creating systems. I mean it. When you can get the system flowing, you're good, you're in the cycle. And, you know, you have the awareness of where, where you are. You have the acceptance of where you are. And you're like, okay, this is where I take the action. Right? So you get to follow this methodology in your life over and over and over again, as long as you have the tools to implement and bring them forward.

Absolutely amazing.

Thank you so much. Where can people connect with you, find you, find out about your retreats, where do you hang out the most? Please share all the deets.

So I'm Most vulnerable on TikTok @DrKrista Gonzalez. I am also on Instagram Dr. Krista Gonzalez. And we will be doing, you know, multiple announcements before the retreat, and we're looking towards the end of this year, the beginning of next year, so stay tuned and you'll definitely be able to connect with me there.

Beautiful. Thank you. So much. It was such a pleasure having you and I can't wait to have you back.

It flew by. It was a pleasure.

Thanks. Bye Bye.

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