Women often try to heal damaged men, believing fixing them proves their own worth. But once he feels better, he leaves the woman who saw him broken. Caryn Meininger explains why the savior role in relationships doesn't work.
I feel like women especially have this like, I'm gonna save him mentality. Oh, he's got all this trauma, but I'm gonna be a savior because then they make that mean something about them, that, oh, now I'm good enough because look what I did. I trained this guy to heal right? It becomes a belief about themselves. If I fix them now, I'm worthy versus letting them be in their life and you be in your life and like, how can we grow and complement each other and bring the best out in each other? I know this just from like my own history of dating pre marriage. Like I always found the fucked up guy, right? Guess how well that worked out.
No, he's going to ditch you and find somebody else. Now that he's all shiny and healed and new and his ability to trust has been restored, he doesn't want to be with the woman that saw him as a weak loser.
