Ep. 14: The Healing Power of Storytelling with Ann Randolph

It took a long time for me to come back and realize that I have to speak my truth. I have to express.

Welcome to the Prosperous Woman Podcast. I'm Claire Sellers, a business mentor and coach who is absolutely obsessed with helping you create the business of your dreams and your most prosperous life. Tune in for inspiring conversations with extraordinary women that will propel you towards becoming a prosperous woman. Welcome to The Prosperous Woman. I'm so excited. I'm here with my friend and my teacher, Anne. She is an incredible award-winning trailblazing solo performer celebrated for her ability to delve into the depths of human experiences. Which I've experienced firsthand. We're going to be talking about that. She has been featured in the Washington Post as inappropriate in all the right ways, which I love. Um, and is just an incredible woman, and she really believes that every person has a story to tell, and it's through our stories that we see our humanity in one another. And, and welcome to the show. There's no intro that could actually like encompass you and your Majesty. So I'm just so happy you're here.

I am so happy to be here too, Claire. Thank you so much. It was a joy to meet you in Mexico City.

Yes. And I would love to just— you've never heard this story, but one of the things I teach my clients is to follow the opening, which is one of the rules of improv, which Anne has a— she's a performer. I have a strong theater background, as you all know. And I really live my life by this concept of just follow the opening. And so Anne came to Mexico City to perform her one-woman show, which is absolutely extraordinary. I mean, I don't think I blinked the entire time. I was so captivated. And I— so I went to a party. I went to a singles mixer. Anne doesn't know this story. I went to a singles mixer the weekend before you came to Mexico City, and I reconnected with our friend Marco, who is really leading kind of the storytelling improv— yeah, performance scene here in Mexico City. And he's— I don't know why he sent me this text, but a few days later, he sent me this text and he said, "Hey, there's a one-woman show on Wednesday. Do you want to come? Mimi is going," as if to say, like, it's cool if you want to go alone, you know, like, your girlfriend's going.

I could see Marco doing that. Yeah.

And I'm like, I haven't been to a theater, anything in, like, years, you know? And I mean, I grew up basically in New York City. Like, I was at every Broadway show. Like, I mean, I was a weekly regular. I haven't been to theater here because so often it's in Spanish, and my Spanish is good enough, but I get lost, you know. And I was like, I just said yes, and I bought a ticket. I followed the opening. It didn't really make sense. Wednesday night rolls around. I think I'm about to start my period or something. I'm like, 2 seconds from bailing. And I just said, Claire, you never know what's going to happen. I literally remember having this thought, Claire, you never know what's going to happen. Just go. So I get dressed, I get in an Uber, it's pouring rain, and I arrive at this theater. I sit down, there's like one open seat, and I— And you took the stage, and I just was like, halfway through, I was like, I don't know what this woman's deal is, but I need to learn from her. And then the most miraculous part of the whole situation is at the end of the show, you say, I'm leading a workshop this weekend called Your Story to the Stage. And I got chills and I like ran. I thanked Margo. I ran out of the theater and I signed up on the— in the Uber home. And I mean, it honestly changed my life. And I don't say that lightly. What we did together that weekend was absolutely extraordinary. It unlocked something that's always been within me but has been silenced for so long. And I mean, I'm just so incredibly grateful that I found you. And, you know, you're so talented. So I'm going to stop talking. Like, tell us. First of all, kind of tell us a little bit about you and what you do and how you got here. And you're so humble, so feel free to brag about yourself a little bit 'cause you have incredible accolades.

I can brag too. I'm so glad you're in the workshop. Okay, I just have to say Claire is mind-blowing performer and writer, and it was just an honor to have her be in the workshop with us in Mexico City. Oh my God, extraordinary time. And my background is in writing and performing as early as I can remember. Like, I wanted to be on Saturday Night Live. Doing big characters, I felt like when I was playing a character, and that is my forte, playing different people, I was always attracted to kind of very oddball, misfits, people on the fringe. Um, and I felt like I could speak my truth through the character. And what is that? You teach what you need to learn. So I would speak it. I felt safe doing it. Comedy is really about like— and that was what I was going after, Saturday Night Live. That was my— Yeah. My trajectory. And because I could express myself, I could really say whatever I wanted to say, and I was crazy about it. And so I went to college, I started to major in theater, and then quickly on, I couldn't afford it and I had to get a job. So I got a job. I saw the movie The King of Hearts about these male patients, and I thought, yeah, I want to get a job working with mentally ill people. So I got a job working at a state mental hospital. and I got free room and board living on a schizophrenic unit and writing plays with the patients. And that really, um, I just then didn't almost want to do comedy. I wanted the comedy and the pathos. I was always juggling that, um, as I was creating and writing plays, because what I felt at this bottom of the barrel state mental hospital was the tragedy, uh, that of what it's like to be chronically institutionalized. But I was also experiencing so much joy and creativity with the patients that I was working with that I had a ball. I was only supposed to be there one semester, and the director came up to me and he said, "Anne, we think you fit in. How'd you like to live here all 4 years of college?" So that's where I lived, and it very much influenced my creative trajectory. Mm-hmm. And I was always in trouble, right? I remember the first time I wrote an original monologue based on one of the guys in the state hospital. I remember he was touching himself and I wrote a whole monologue around that. And I was told right away by my professors, "Anne, you're inappropriate." So I was always being censored my whole entire life, censored. "Anne, you can't say that." So I was also fighting that. And what else do I wanna say about that? So after college, I wanted to go to New York, but money has always been an issue. I don't come from money. And I'm not— I don't have very many job skills. I got fired from McDonald's. I have ADD. I'm a really creative person, so it's very challenging for me to find a job that works. So, um, when I graduated, didn't want to go to New York City broke, and my parents gave me a one-way ticket to Alaska, which was insane because I read that I could make $20,000 cleaning fish in Alaska, which I did. And I got fired at that job, and I lived in a little pup tent, and then I lied to a university that I was a professor, and I got a job teaching theater and playwriting. And I made my 20 grand, then moved to New York City to try to make it onto Saturday Night Live. And while I was there, I realized quickly, or I felt that I didn't have the chops, I didn't have what it took. I got— compared myself right away. And I think many people, when they first start out, or any time in their life, you're always comparing yourself, and comparison kills one's creativity.

Mm-hmm.

And it killed mine. I was seeing phenomenal— phenomenal people in New York. And I thought, I have to rethink what I'm doing in my life. And I don't want to just go all over the place right now and realize that I have to speak my truth. I have to express.

So many women are just afraid to even mention their mom or mention their sister or mention the time they got their heart broken. Like, what, what would you say as someone who's really broken through that?

Well, the first thing, I would dialogue with that. Like, I would start with, "What I most fear in telling my story is..." Like, get the fear out, name it, because sometimes we're not aware why we're afraid to really share. What happened on that boat in Alaska is that I got the impulse to go for it again and write, write again, because I lost my mojo comparing, and now the mojo came back, and I started writing my first solo show when I was 29 years old, and I got off that boat and I staged it. And that was really the beginning of pursuing my career of writing solo full-length plays, in which I've written 6, and pursuing that path. Not many people say that they want to make a career being a solo performer, but that was— that way I could be hilarious and I could also, you know, have people in the audience also feel deeply.

And brag a little bit, like, where have you done your shows? They've been— I mean, these aren't just like things you're doing in someone's basement.

I mean, these are like— In the beginning, it was somebody's basement. No. So I have to say that I was discovered, as they say, by Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft 20-something years ago. Yes. I was always self-producing. My shows were pushing the envelope all the time. Everybody wouldn't touch me with a 10-foot pole because I was racy, rated R. That sounds so old. It is.

You're right. It's racy, though. I mean, it's, you know, there's like— it's racy, you know? I've seen it. So I get the hesitancy on a producer's front.

Yeah, no network television. Like, she is so far out, right? But Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft saw my solo show Squeezebox, which was about working the graveyard shifts at a homeless shelter for mentally ill women. And I did that from age 30 to 40. Now, when I took that job at the homeless shelter, I thought, I'm only gonna be there one year before I make it big, before I get on Broadway, right? I was there 10 years, and that's 50 hours a week, minimum wage. And so anybody out there listening, you know, there are sacrifices that you make when you're pursuing your goal. And believe me, I had a lot of self-doubt during that time. Like, when am I gonna be able to make my living as an artist? Because— Mm-hmm. And so 40 years old on my 4th solo show, that's when Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft came and my life changed pretty much in that moment because they then helped me shape my show, which was 2 hours and 20 minutes for a solo show. That's insane. I go to Mel and Anne's house and they helped me craft that show down to 80 minutes. And then I opened in New York. I got these glorious reviews and things turned around from there.

Mm-hmm.

And then while I was performing and touring on the tour, headline, the Edinburgh Fringe. I mean, I performed, I had 2 shows run for 2 years straight in San Francisco, sold out. I mean, things changed radically, but it was, look, imagine if you're 40 and you're still making minimum wage. It's really a scary time to be hanging in there to the very end there.

Yeah.

So, yeah.

Wow. Okay. So much in there. I wrote down a few things I just want to circle back to. You know, what's really interesting to me about your work that's quite different from mine is that you feel safer being someone else. Like, you feel safer portraying characters, right?

Yes. They come easy to me. It's a natural. I can crack people up, and it's very easy for me to switch people. But what my learning curve was, learning to be myself on stage.

Yeah.

That took a while. Yeah.

And, you know, for me, whether it's on Instagram or, you know, now that I'm working on this one-woman show, potentially book that Anne's gonna help me with, maybe movie, whatever it becomes. You know, for me, I always had this disconnect. You know, I would be in, you know, Acting 1 with Ellen Orenstein, you know, in New York, love her. And I just wanted to be myself. And when I would be reading these lines, you know, from The Seagull or whatever play it was, like, I would read them and I would try to connect to the emotion of the character, but I couldn't because it wasn't my own. And it— there's always been this disconnect for me. And so when I discovered your work, which we're going to talk about, you know, how your process and how you, you, you know, I think unlock creativity within people more than I've seen anyone ever have the capacity to do. You know, you— it, it, it— when, when you're able to just be yourself, for me, it's so easy.

And it's—

and it goes back to one of the things, you know, what that I said in the beginning of following the opening. For you, it was easier for you to be someone else and to portray these crazy, insane characters that have lipsticks smeared all over their face. And, you know, like I mean, it's— and crazy hair, like, that's easier for you, but for me, it's easier to access myself. But I went against that for, you know, over a decade trying to be, you know, an actress, whether it was in high school or college, trying to be an actress. And I could never connect because I just wanted to be me, you know. And so I think it's important for people to hear that, like, it's okay to to follow what feels easy, because that's what people are going to love.

I love that you're saying that because you're honoring what you know to be true upon your— that Emerson quote, insist upon yourself, never imitate. Insist upon yourself. Right. And insisting upon myself was playing characters. That's what I was drawn to. That's what I love. And like you, I'm like, I don't like reading other people's roles and plays. I'd much rather write my own and do all the characters.

How did you I guess, cross that threshold of learning to be you on stage?

Well, it came by accident, actually. I was teaching with Alanis Morissette. We were teaching. She had seen a show of mine and she goes, we should be together teaching. So we were teaching at Esalen and she couldn't do the afternoon session. Her sister said, and you do the afternoon session alone. And she goes, and talk about your life. I'm like, what? And that to me, whenever I I had to go and talk about my life, I just didn't do it. I would bail because I thought, well, my story doesn't matter. My life's not interesting. If I'm playing a character, that's interesting. So to go out and there was 120 people, it was in the Leonard Pavilion at Esalen, and I go out there and I begin talking about my life and I share my story for the very first time.

Mm-hmm.

And believe me, I was terrified, Claire. Because I didn't have my wigs, I didn't have my costumes, right? And I do it, and somebody comes up to me afterwards and they say to me, "I want to produce this on Broadway. This is an extraordinary show." I'm like, "I'm just talking about my life." Yeah. And so that was— and then it took me years to just be able to settle into talking about my life. It wasn't easy. It was not easy because I just always thought I had to be more than what I was.

And that, that's like the key. And I think so many people resonate with that is— and, and I see this playing out, you know, when, you know, women are showing up on Instagram, you know, selling, you know, their offerings, or, you know, on a date. You know, I talk about my, my journey to, to calling in love a lot. You know, like, we think we have to be so much more than we truly are when no one wants anything more or less than the truth of your heart. And like, so I, I stand by whether it's business, love, on the stage, in a book, in a movie, like, you know, I have a, my one-on-one program is called True You because I really believe that if we can tap into your truth, like, we're there. That's it. It can't not work. But we, so many of us spend, I mean, living in New York, like riding on the subway, I mean, people, you know, wearing, you know, fancy suits, going to offices, pretending to be these, you know, super strong armored boss babes or boss men. And at the end of the day, like they just wanna be these like soft, super vulnerable poets or, you know, whatever it might be.

Yeah.

But they're so afraid to be that. And so what happens is that, you know, and I think you and I have both experienced this, is like there ends up being what I call an incongruence in who you truly are and who you're being. And that's when things get dicey. That's when things get out of alignment. That's when, you know, the opportunities, the people, places, and things don't fall into your lap. Because when you're being true, Mel Brooks shows up, Alanis Morissette shows up, you know, like it, it just, it's incredible. It, it just happens. And it's, it's so simple, yet You know, what you said is like, my story doesn't matter, right? We, we hold these, what I call, I don't know if you know the term saboteur.

Yes.

We, you know, I work— Yes. I work a lot with that, you know, with my clients and personifying the saboteur and, and, you know, really befriending the saboteur because it's truly a character. You know, my saboteur's name is Razor. He wears a red Party City costume. He's like fat and sweaty, and he has like 3 strands of hair. I mean, like, Razor goes off a lot of the times. And the fastest way sometimes, you know, in the beginning when I first discovered this concept, was to just, okay, be someone else. That will quiet Razor down. Just be someone else. And so I think it's really interesting, like, how, you know, you said when you, you went into, to New York City, like, you immediately were like, I don't have the chops. You went into comparison. Like, how did you overcome your saboteur in that situation?

Well, I didn't. What happened is I said, and look, nobody is experiencing the, what you're experiencing on this boat with these 14 men. And everybody out there listening, right? You see the world or you're experiencing something nobody else has ever experienced. And only you see what you see. Only you notice what you notice. And I'm like, if I don't express what I am experiencing, I think I'm gonna explode. It was also a way to vent on the page. And I thought, I've got to do this. I got to the point where like, okay, Anne, who cares? You may suck on stage. You may suck when you write your first solo show, but you gotta do it. Are you going to go to your grave, you know, like having immense regret? And I have to give myself permission to fail. And so I got myself to that place that I'm going to do it no matter what, even if I suck. Yeah.

Just going to do it. I think that's like, I mean, it's a bit morbid, but, you know, I know for me, like, one of the deepest longings of my heart has been to have a TV show, could also be a movie, like, you know, I've always wanted that. And like, I don't know if I will be able to live with myself if I don't try. And you know, I did. I made a try. I made a travel TV show when I was living in Colombia. I made a pilot episode, and then I got freaked out and I, I stopped, right? So like, I, I resonate with your, your story. And I think for anyone listening, it's like, what is that that thing that you think about at night? Like, what is that thing that just, like, if you don't create it, you might explode? What is the thing, like, when you're on your deathbed that you're gonna say, I should have done it? You know, and, and from that place, how can you get the support, muster the strength, do whatever it, it, it, it is to close the gap between, you know, your saboteur telling you you're insane, it's never gonna happen, and that deathbed moment.

Right. It's not easy, right? You have to fight it every single day, cuz every day I got resistance. And right now I'm being called to make videos. That's not my forte. But again, I'm gonna go out there, I'm gonna put shit up, it's gonna suck, and I'm gonna learn by doing it. And I think the other thing that people are waiting for is permission. Yeah. Like, that's crazy. Just do it and say and speak your truth. And what's beautiful about what I— the other thing that happened as I was, you know, touring these shows was I miss people. And I also felt I had a secret, a secret. Like, if I could get that audience to share their story and experience what I'm experiencing. So this passion to teach and also impart to others what I had learned that I could heal through writing my own shows. I could heal these parts because even though I'm playing characters, they're really like parts of myself that are at war.

Yeah.

And I wanted to be with people and share that knowledge with people. So that teaching part came on as well. So I do 8 shows a week. On Monday night, dark night, I would create a community storytelling workshop. And then I got to the point at the Arena Stage, I was doing my show Loveland. And I thought, well, why not do a workshop immediately following my show with the audience? Now, that was radical. That was an interactive— first interactive theater experience I ever did with an audience. And I loved it.

And what happened? What did you experience when you kind of— because you did this in the show I saw. You had us write our— is it yes or no? Yay, nay?

Yay, boo.

Yay, boo. Yeah. So explain this and what you do. This is actually a great exercise for everyone to try at home. I still have mine written down.

Down.

I wasn't brave enough to share mine in the audience. I didn't throw myself into that until a couple of days later in your workshop. But—

But you did beautifully. Well, because I believe— okay, so in the show, I believe all of us are up, down, triumph, failure, triumph, failure. My whole life, triumph, failure, triumph, failure. Right? We're going to have yays and boos, yays and boos. And my friend who's a jazz artist was singing a song called Yay Boo Yay Boo. And I thought, oh my God, that is my life. That's everybody's life.

Yeah.

So at the end of my show, I have everybody for 7 minutes write out their life story in yay-boo. Like, I was, you know, got married in Vegas, yay. He cheated with a prostitute, boo. Yay-boo. Or I was born to an alcoholic mother, you know, drug addict, whatever. And then yay-boo, yay-boo. And then the audience takes the stage and they read their yay-boos and the audience is saying yay with them and boo with them. And it's a very profound, it's a short exercise, but it's extremely profound to watch people that have never taken the stage before get up there, read their life in Yebu, and they're uncensored. I've heard people start their Yebu at 13 years old, "I was raped." I mean, this kind of very profound sharing, vulnerable sharing, courageous sharing happens on stage as part of my show.

Mm-hmm.

And I do it because I think what's beautiful about any artist, when you're watching somebody, they're giving that audience permission. Because if you look at yourself raw and you expose yourself and the vulnerable parts, it gives that audience— so that's why I think those yeboos are so honest and vulnerable, is because they're— we're all witnessing each other.

Yeah, I love that. And, you know, it reminds me of an exercise I do with and I have a beginning business group called the Dream Accelerator for women who basically have an idea, you know, and they're petrified to bring it into life, or they've tried and they, you know, maybe it didn't go how they thought. So it's basically an idea-to-launch program. And one of the, one of the first things I have them do is what I call, you know, the road— your story is the roadmap to your calling. And I have this worksheet, and it's basically, you know, I take a— there's a piece of paper, and on the top half of the paper is when you chose yourself, and on the bottom half of the paper is when you abandoned yourself. Not from a place of shame, but from, you know, a lot of these things aren't in our control. You know, your, you know, your dad had an affair or whatever it might be. Like, you had— you— your— the circumstances of your life forced you to abandon yourself, or you chose to abandon yourself And what happens is I have them plot out, you know, going up and down, up and down on this, very similar to the Yay Boo exercise, going up and down, up and down, noticing. And then I have them track, you know, after every breakdown, there is a triumphant breakthrough. And you wouldn't have gotten to that breakthrough had you not had that thing happen.

Mm-hmm.

And it's, it's so powerful for women who, you know, have never done any type of theater or storytelling or writing to look at the pieces of their life. Because I really, I, you know, I help women build businesses that are rooted in who they truly are because that's gonna work the best. You know, like that's just at the end of the day, I don't really wanna help you build like a crypto business. I wanna help you build a brand that's centered around you. that grows with you, you know, that, you know, you can launch programs around, you know, building courses. And then when you become a mom, you can launch, you know, a course on, you know, how to be a, a mom and work at the same time. Like, I like helping women build, you know, really holistic businesses that move and groove with them over the years. And so in order to tap into your brand story, we have to look at the yay-boo of it all, because that's how you got to here.

That is correct. That's beautiful. That is beautiful what you're, um, what you're teaching your, your clients to do, Claire, and to look at. And because you, you want them to tap into that because it's so hard though, I see, for people to even tap into what is truly me, what is my story, what am I here to do? Because society and culture are always like, do this, do this, do this. But to really quiet that mind and listen, what does my heart really want? What does my— what is true to my heart? And boy, it's really hard to listen to that inner small voice that's saying, this is the way. Because when you hear that voice, boy, your life's going to change because you're going to have to let go of things that no longer serve you. You're going to have to step forward into that courageously. Yeah. Not knowing what the outcome is going to be, but you got to do it.

And this is really— I always teach kind of we've got the saboteur. It's like the angel and the devil. We've got the saboteur and then we've got the higher self. And what you were just speaking of, it's that voice and it often comes as a whisper. It's go to the show, sign up for the workshop. And a lot of times it doesn't make sense. You know, and, and if I think back, you know, to— I took a sabbatical in India 3— last year for 3 months, and, you know, my business was, was exploding. It didn't really make sense for me to go, but I knew I had to go. And I, I went on a mission. I went to the, the base camp of Mount Everest, which was always my dad who passed away— that was always his and I's dream. was to go to Mount Everest. And I, I had to go on this mission, and it didn't make sense, but it was like higher self-led, you know. And, and these are the journeys that I think kind of quantum leap us from, you know, being in paralyzed fear or being in the, you know, your creativity is shot, to just being in what is almost like a flow state, like an unstoppable state.

Yeah. And it's possible when you're deeply listening. Yes, it's totally possible. But people don't take time, or I didn't often take time to just truly listen to what really wants to— what the next step is. It's just one next step. Don't get 5 steps ahead.

Just that next step. Right. I always say if you're scared, it's because you're looking too far ahead.

I love that, Claire Sellers Sellers.

It's true.

It's scary once you look past the next step.

It is scary.

Yeah, it's terrifying. Yes.

So how do you, like, how do you, how do you listen and how do you help people listen?

Well, first of all, I love people and I believe in people, and I think I have a gift also for, for being able to put people at ease to let truly, um, their essence come through. And so when I'm teaching, I, I use also the body in a way that writing teachers also don't use the body, or teachers. I do use a lot of improv and physical exercises because the mind gets in the way. The mind will want you to stay safe. The mind will say, "Oh dear, don't talk about that. People think you're awful or shameful." All that, the mind. So if I can get people in their body first, and then it's a sneaky approach actually, Claire, because if you're in there in the body and you're improvising and you're playing, then the unconscious then the thing that you might not know about will spill out of you. It'll tumble out of you, and it is profound, and it is deep, and it's the truth.

Wow.

And you can get there much quicker, like we did in 2 days, because of that body, than if I would have just write, write, write, write, write. It is— the body is the way. The body doesn't lie. Truth comes through. Yeah.

It's, it's so true. And, you know, I, I'm excited to kind of, for you to unveil as much as you can, kind of how you do this because, and I'll just speak kind of what my experience was. You know, I, I signed up for Anne's workshop not really knowing what it was. I, it's called, you know, From Story to the Stage, right? Or is it Stage to Story?

I think it was Your Story Matters Page to Stage.

Page to Stage. That's what it was.

Page to Stage.

Page to Stage. And you know, I mean, I have no intention at this point you know, a month or two ago of writing a play or doing anything with, you know, my fancy theater degree. Or, you know, I just, I kind of was like, I'm doing, you know, I'm doing it. And, you know, we walk into this room and within minutes we're up on our feet. And, you know, it's exactly what you said. My, my mind, all of our minds are so strong, especially when it comes to childhood or just memories, like your mind is designed to keep you safe, so it will repress anything that is, I would say, not like light, fluffy, pleasant, you know, yay. And so what you did with us is you had us do what seemed like silly improv games. But kind of take us through, just so people, people like what, when you had us get up on your feet, and I don't even honestly remember I just remember somehow you went from like, what color shirt are you wearing? To a childhood moment. So like, what is the process that you're taking people through?

Correct. The first part with these games is that to create safety, you feel, okay, I can trust these people. I can begin to let myself be seen. So these improv games, as much as they're games and feel like games, they're, they're created for safety. And then once I see that the group is feeling more comfortable, then I keep raising the stakes a little more in what can be revealed. So it's entering through the door of play. If you can enter through the door of play and fun, then you can keep going. You get— you start to trust because you're back to childlike state.

Mm-hmm.

And that's super fun. Want. But if you don't enter through that play space first and safety, and you just continually— and people are looking at the teacher too, to— I think a lot of us, myself included, have horrible experiences with teachers saying, you can't say that, you can't do that. And the more freedom and liberation I can give in that room while creating safety, I see them looking, can I really say that? I, you know, one of the things in that first exercise is like, find everybody anybody in the room that relieves stress the way you do. And, you know, I had this girl say, well, I like to masturbate while I drive my car. That helps me relieve stress. I'm like, great, you know, I don't— I wouldn't censor that. That's how she relieves stress, you know. Or somebody else might say, I just smoke weed every night, or, you know, I'm an alcoholic, I continue to drink because I can't not, you know, I can't deal with my stress, right?

Yeah.

It's just accepting people where they are.

And I think that, that safety piece, and now I didn't necessarily think, oh, she's creating safety here because I'm a facilitator, so I'm always trying to kind of— my mind is always like, what's she doing here? But that's exactly what happened is we were a group of, what, 15 strangers, and within 5 minutes, it was like we were a family. I mean, that's literally the power of your process and the containers that you hold. And it was creating the safety, and then it was raising the stakes of what can be revealed. And we got more and more vulnerable as we went, as we went, which created even more safety because it's like, these people, you know, they know about my dad, or, you know, they know the secret about my mom, or whatever it might be. So then there's more safety and more safety. And then how do you get— how did you get us to the point where we could write? Because I think so many people experience, quote, writer's block or creativity block. So like Talk us through that.

Well, I can never say everybody, they all, everybody does write, but how do I want to say this? I think it's just coming out of the exercises. These improv exercises are so charged emotionally. There is so much emotion flying through and feelings that as soon as the exercise is over, there's no space, goes straight to the page, and it just comes tumbling out.

Mm-hmm.

So that particular way for me works when we go straight from the body to the page. It's a beautiful process, and I think people get surprised by what comes out after these improv exercises, which are, as you said, triggering. Some of these exercises are— they're trigger lines, like, "I want you to stay. I need you to go." We're just tossing those lines back, but those are everybody has had experience with being left behind or being the one who leaves. And so if you're doing this improv exercise with somebody, all these memories, all these feelings come up. And then when you go to the page, it just comes out. Yeah.

And that was my experience. And for me, what happened is it was literally a 4— it just happened this way. It was like a 4-act you know, almost chronological story that just fell out of me. And I was bouncing between childhood and lovers and childhood and relationships. And, you know, there— one of the things you say is like, just don't stop, just don't stop writing, because then your mind's gonna take over. And I think that was so powerful for me to experience, like, and for everyone to hear, like, you have a story inside of you that's just waiting to be told, waiting to be written, waiting to be born. But the mind will stop you from sharing it.

Yes, it will, because it wants to keep you safe.

Right.

And what was it Brené Brown said? Our shame likes to hide in secret. It doesn't want our story out there. And so many stories are coming out of shame and pain, and that mind is saying, just stay safe, be quiet, don't say anything.

Yeah. And what, like, as you know, what have you seen your process unlock in people?

Oh my God.

Extraordinary.

I mean, I'm just like, what just happened to you, Claire? I mean, I'm listening to Claire, what she shares, and I'm not gonna disclose confidentiality what you shared, but it was profound. And I'm watching people on fire and I'm thinking about a student I just had. She just won the Moth 4-time Moth winner. She won in New York, LA, and she's in her 50s. And she was— runs an investment firm, you know, big CEO type person, never did this in her life. Wow.

And had—

but always had this passion for storytelling and— but never did it. She came to my workshop at Esalen, maybe I taught a week long at Esalen. She— and I'm looking at her like, so super corporate, and this wacky side comes out of her and she's hilarious and she's deep. And now she's just all over the place. I think she's gonna leave her job.

Oh my gosh.

Just do storytelling.

How incredible.

She's super successful, but, um, in her finance world, but this is her passion. So again, I'm watching her way, you know, because it also takes courage to walk away something you— and step into this world fully and write the memoir, write the solo show, and do this. And, you know, some people— I was not in a position to walk away. I was making minimum wage, so I was working and creating. But, you know, I work with some people that could walk away for a period of time and just solely focus on their creative path. Wow. But you don't need to. You don't need— a lot of people think, I need a sabbatical, or I need to have this, this. And I'm telling you, no. When I was at that shelter, you know, I wrote 6 solo shows in between. You know, I get a little coffee break here, go back in. So let go of that idea you need chunk of time.

Yeah. And I mean, like, I, you know, how long were our writing sec— was it 12 minutes or 7 minutes?

12 minutes.

12, yeah. So 12, 24, 36. So 48 minutes I wrote, you know, I don't even know, 6 pages, and it was basically done. You know, like— You're ready to go, Claire Sellers. Like it. So, and I think that's important for people to hear is, you know, they, they think about whether, you know, the, the longing of your heart is to write a play or to go to an improv class or to start a business or, you know, to start a nonprofit or to make a movie or whatever. Like, it doesn't have to be this like earth-shattering colossal, like, I have to burn it all down to the ground. It can actually be easy. And oftentimes, the things that are most aligned for us are easy. That's the easiest thing.

I know. It's true, but we make it so hard. Like, when I did that thing with Alanis where I share my story, and afterwards, this Broadway producer says, I want to take you to Broadway with this show. I'm like, it's not a show. I'm actually fighting with a Broadway producer. I'm like, no, no, no, it's not theater. I have my crazy costumes. They're like, listen, do you want me to invest in this? I'm a producer. I'm like, it was just really hard for me to wrap around because all I did was just share my story and it was too easy.

It was too easy. I think that's such a great point. And like, I see this happen all the time with, you know, clients, friends, people. Like, you know, I'm always like, what's the easiest thing you can do? And it's almost like, well, I can't do that.

I'm like, why not?

Like, just do— like, I want my life to feel easy. Like, I want that, you know? And so in order to do that, we have to train our brain. Like, okay, like, when the person falls in your lap, or, you know, when the, the place reveals itself, you just say yes, you know? You just say yes. And you, you, you know, one of the rules of improv: dare to be obvious. Like, you know, it's, it's so easy, and yet we love to make it complicated because the comp— the complexity creates a layer of safety because it won't let us get there.

Correct. Yeah. Because we're afraid. It's back to that fear again. Back to the fear. Yeah.

Like— Yeah.

And I think creating characters— like, you have a name for your saboteur. But I really find, like, when that inner critic comes and resistance, create the character because it also gives me incredible material to play with as a writer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Totally.

Exaggerate.

And it makes you more— it makes them powerless and you more powerful.

Correct. Yeah. And also I can make mine funny and it cracks me up.

Yes.

I love that. It'll take off its charge if I'm making myself laugh.

Exactly. It takes the charge away. It no longer has the hold on you.

So, but you have to turn and face it.

You have to.

Yes. You have to create. It's going to be with you for the ride always, every day. So you might as well get to know how it works. It just says the same damn things to you every dang day.

Yes, it's true. It's— I always call it, what are the top 10 greatest hits? Yeah, because the greatest hits, they're just gonna keep playing, same ones. Correct. So like, for people who, you know, hopefully after hearing this, people will come to wherever you are, find you. But you know, for people who are at home who are like, I don't know how to get into my body and get out of my head, and like, I want to write, or I want to, you know move forward or take action. And all this sounds great, but how can people do that on their own?

You mean as far as, like, the first thing? Well, I have a course. I can come to that.

Is that what I'm supposed to be talking about, Claire Sellers?

Well, yeah, you can.

Yeah, share it. Share. I mean, your course. I guess that's actually— you're talking about Unmute, right?

Yeah. Actually, I'm so crazy passionate. About getting people to tell the story and giving permission. I have this, this program when we— every day I give a prompt and meditation and a teaching, and we write together, and there's an energy in there of just writing together on a daily. And so you can come to that, Your Story Matters, unmute yourself. But it's also like, I think finding people— like, I, I've always do so well in classes or with teachers, or maybe I just have another friend come over, um, but that we are writing and it's in community. And that's where I get I get the support that I need. Because look, when you're writing courageously with vulnerability, a lot of feelings come up. And it's scary sometimes when I'm writing. When I was writing a show about my mom dying before she died, and she hasn't died yet, she actually saw the show and she's like, you wrote a show and I'm not dead yet. But anyway, it was— I have anticipatory grief.

And yeah.

And I wrote it and I'm crying the whole time I was writing it. But I was so thankful that I could go to my class with my teacher because it wasn't so lonely because you are bringing up a lot of feelings. But what is it to feel is to heal. And I just find that if you could do it in community, it's a lot easier than doing it alone. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I agree. And, you know, it's like I told you before we started recording, you know, talking about what I'm going to do with, you know, what I've written, like, I know I can't do that alone. I don't want to do it alone. I need, you know, mentorship and guidance, and I need someone to remind me of who I am, you know, because my saboteur will try to tell me, like, you're not a writer, like, you can't do this. I just— I already know Razor's ready to go off on this one.

Yeah.

So, you know, I'm in your writing group, and it's amazing. And, you know, there is this power of community, which is why I love, you know, holding groups with women, because there's something that happens when, like, one person is like, yes, I did it. The other person then is like, I did it too. And then it's like everybody's in on it. And there's just this collective energy that you really can't recreate sitting alone at your desk as easily.

That is so true. Yeah. So that's why I like writing community. But I will— here's something to do at home to tap in your body if you don't wanna join a class. If you don't want to be in community, is like, I will often move in the emotion or feeling that I'm in, and I'll make sounds. And this is gonna sound crazy, but it's all like, wah, wah, or whatever feeling I'm in. I'll start with the sound and movement. I use the body first. Sometimes I'll put on a voice memo and be recording myself as I'm generating material out of that feeling state. It— again, because I'm moving that body, and I'm releasing. I always find beautiful material comes out from an improv process on my own. I can do that. And so I would encourage people.

Yeah, that's a great idea. And I often tell my girls if they're like, I don't have any content ideas, or I don't know what to write, I'm like, put on 3 songs and just go.

Right, because the songs mirror a feeling that's inside of you, right? And that's what you're doing when you want somebody to read your content. You want somebody to feel something.

Yes.

And of course, music right away, it's a feeling. It's gonna get you in a mood and a feeling. And so to write from that feeling, so I'll use music too, but oftentimes I'll just start with the sound of the feeling and then go from there. But I definitely use music too, Claire Sellers Sellers. That's a great idea that you tell them that because you will tap into something with a piece of music. Yes.

Something, something, something will come up.

Yeah.

Okay. As we kind of like round the bend here towards the end of our, our time, this has been so amazing. I'm curious, what would you say to people, especially, you know, I work with women who are afraid to tell their story. Like so many women are just afraid to even mention their mom or mention their sister or mention the time they got their heart broken? Like, what would you say as someone who's really broken through that?

Well, the first thing, I would dialogue with that. Like, I would start with, "What I most fear in telling my story is..." Like, get the fear out, name it, because sometimes we're not aware why we're afraid to really share. So having a conversation with that part of you that is fearful? Or who am I trying to protect by not telling my story? So fear and protection coming in there and looking at that. And then I would say, take the first step. So what would be the step would be to share with somebody, and you have to be very careful who you share the first story with.

Mm-hmm.

Because they need to be able to hold it in a way that a teacher would or a coach. And it has to be somebody that you would trust with that story. So, and then when you share it, because it's probably the first time you share it, to ask for feedback that is only positive because you've just birthed something, right? You're not shaping it into a final product. So for that person just to validate the strength of that piece that they just heard, the strength of the story.

Mm-hmm.

And then you go back in again and again and you keep I see that happen in Ammu. People will not share in our community circle. Maybe they'll come through 2 sessions. By the 3rd session, they'll take the bold step to share, or somebody might right off the bat do it. But it's— you're going at the process that feels safe for you, but you're pushing yourself to that next step. And so you are going to go out of your safety zone, but you're going to do it in a way that feels at a pace that is right for you. And I think the support And these baby steps are huge, right? One step at a time.

Yeah.

I love that. But to receive, look, it's scary when I put things on YouTube, you know, you're at the mercy of people, you know, tearing you to pieces and also singing your praises. Once you put it out into public, you're open, you're open for anything. But this initial time when you're in this creative process to really be in a safe space where you are being mirrored by somebody is going to hold it and mirror it mirror back to you only positive strengths of your story. That's so super important. So take that first step. Just one person.

Yeah, that's amazing. And I think you've really been that for me, just saying, like, Claire, this is really good. And having someone who you admire, who's walked the path, or just that you trust to to just say, like, this is something, and, like, you need to keep going. Like, that can change the course of your life.

Exactly. Yes. Yes. Like, that person coming up to me after this thing with Atlantis, I'm like, what are you talking about? Right. Because we're blind. We don't see sometimes our own daggone gifts.

Yes.

We don't see it. We need somebody to say, I see you. I hear you. What you're saying and sharing is profound.

Yeah.

No. And I do believe that people are profound when they get out of their own way. This whole thing of censoring to be somebody they're not is where they get into trouble.

I agree completely. In business, in life, in sales, in marketing, in storytelling, in dating, all the ways. That's, that's the thing. It's like, can you just be you? And can you let that be enough? More than enough, because that's what people want.

And they're craving it.

They are craving it.

And they're just like, oh my God. I mean, look how The Moth has taken off. Look how the storytelling down at Marco's creating in Mexico City. People are craving authentic stories. They're craving the truth. They're craving to see how you really screwed up in life and also how you succeeded. They don't want just the Pollyanna sugarcoating. They want the rock bottom as much as the highs. Yes.

Yeah, that's it.

Yeah.

The truth of who you truly are.

I love it.

Yeah. So I wrote this question down last night, and I don't know why I wrote it, but I'm just gonna ask it. I've never asked anyone this before, but I feel like you would have a good answer.

Uh-oh.

What would you tell yourself 20 years ago?

Oh my gosh. Trust where you are right now. Is enough. I know, Anne, that you want to be somewhere else. But this is all part of the process. Can you accept where you are? Can you actually imagine that you volunteered for where you are right now, that you chose this, that this was necessary for you? Instead of, you know, I was at the shelter, instead of fighting that you're there and you hadn't made it, can you accept that this is giving you extraordinary gifts right now that you have no idea how it is going to help you how it's going to shape you? Instead of pounding the walls that you're making minimum wage at this point in your life, can you see that this will indeed be the very thing that guides you? What is happening now? These are tools that you are going to need for what you do in the future, and they are material that is transformative that you will mine.

I love that. I knew that was a good question to ask.

Okay, that's good. I got to talk to myself back then because I was like, I gotta make my living from my art. I mean, I was going crazy at 40 years old, not having made it yet. And, uh, but it was all that shelter, by the way, 10 years leading groups in a homeless shelter prepared me then when I taught at Esalen with every kind of character that walked into that room for a week.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Right? So I got my chops as setting boundaries, as being a coach, a therapist, even though I'm not trained as a therapist. We're going to shelter. Yeah. Yeah.

That's probably the best training there is, to be honest.

Correct. Yeah. And I think that's why groups— I feel love groups and teaching because I learned a lot there.

I love that. So amazing. I think everyone needs that reminder today. So thank you. So I always close out my episodes with the same 3 questions. So the first question is, what does prosperity mean to you? It's different to everyone. So—

I think prosperity to me means that having the money to be able to— well, talking dollar sense— to execute your creative goals and to be able to pursue your creativity and pursue your calling. That'd be one way, but I've been prosperous without money, and that to me is same thing. As long as I'm able to creatively, and I think execute what I imagine, and to live a life of fun and play and joy, that's a prosperous life for me.

I agree.

Yeah, I love that.

What is the next dream that you're creating or birthing? You're always working on something. So what's like your next baby?

The next baby, these webisodes I'm doing. Which is new, right? I'm gonna suck for a while, but some were pretty good. But I've teamed up with a guy that was nominated for an Emmy. He's a sitcom Emmy editor and director, and we have been making episodes here, and I'm learning a whole new skill set. I'm, I'm playing the different characters. I'm also playing myself. I'm also using my 91-year-old mother in her nursing home, who's hilarious.

Wow.

So, and, uh, I'm having a very fun time creating these webisodes. Also, the show Inappropriate in All the Right Ways was optioned for New York. That's the one where I just told my story.

Oh my gosh.

Is that the one I saw? That's the one you saw. And look, that's the one I thought is not theater. It's not. It's like a hybrid of a talk and theater. It's something I've never seen. Plus it's interactive. I'm like, this can't be a New York show. But this particular person said yes, it's—

Oh my gosh.

So that's happening. What else is happening? Teaching Oh, okay, that's it.

Amazing. Well, we'll link all the things. And when does your web series come out?

Put about 4 out so far.

They're— Oh, they're out.

Okay. YouTube, and they're on my website, amrandolph.com. You can see a lot of videos. Also, I was making videos, uh, in the bathtub during COVID so I played like Eckhart Tolle and different people. That's fun for me too. I love impersonating Eckhart Tolle and talking to Eckhart Tolle as different people.

Oh my gosh, fun. Okay, well, my, my evening plans are set. I'll be watching you. I love that. I love that. So where is the best place for people to like, because you've always got, I mean, you've got all this fun stuff going on. Is it your website? I know you're not big on socials. Okay. Website.

Yeah, I'm not big on social website. AnnRandolph.com. I mean, I'm on Instagram and YouTube, but I would just go to the website. Yeah.

And we'll link everything because I'm sure people are gonna be like, who is this woman and how do I do more with her? And as I mentioned, you know, Anne has an incredible writers group. It's super affordable. It meets every day, and it's just a very supportive community. And, you know, if any of this is speaking to you, I would say that's like a great place to start to just like be in community, start learning and expressing that writing muscle, that creativity muscle. So that's available for you, and that schedule is on the website as well.

Ah, great, Claire. Thank you. Yeah, anybody out there, please tell your story. It is so cathartic, and there's benefits, right? There have been all kinds of studies, like, it's healing. It's profoundly healing.

Yeah, it's so healing. It certainly has been for me, and I'm excited to keep going.

I'm excited for you, Claire, because Truly, you're stunning. Claire Sellers is unapologetic in her writing, man. Censor-free, off the chart. It's hilarious. It's deep. It's funny. And wow. Yeah. Super excited for you.

Thank you. Well, I'm just so grateful that Marco texted me and told me to go to this random woman's one-woman show. And I said yes, even though it was raining. And I mean, I have no doubt that, you know, we'll be working together in the future. And I'm just so grateful that you came into my life. Um, and I'm just so grateful that you said yes to this podcast because I feel inspired and lit up just talking to you. And so I know the audience will as well. So thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. That's great, Claire Sellers Sellers Sellers. Thank you so much for having me. It's been pure joy.

Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to The Prosperous Woman Podcast. I am so grateful for your presence and for being a part of this community. Feel free to DM me @itsclairesellers on Instagram. I would love to connect with you and hear what resonated with you in this episode. Forget to subscribe to the show, and if you enjoyed what you heard today, leave a 5-star review. Your feedback means the world to me and helps me reach more incredible women just like you. And because I love to spoil you, just DM me Send me a screenshot of your review on Instagram and I'll send you my free Prosperity Activation Course as a thank you. It's my way of investing in you and your dreams. Thank you.