Navigating Life with Ease – What Laughter Means from a 3 Principles Perspective

Welcome. This podcast is a series of candid conversations exploring the human experience from a completely new perspective. In it, we will be diving deeply into the meaning of commonly used words and pointing you away from that old, stressful way of looking at life and towards a new paradigm. This will help you find a sense of calm, cultivate meaningful relationships, and create harmony in every aspect of your life. Here is Navigating Life with Ease with Michaela Ellis and Claire Downer.

Hey, Claire.

Hello. How are you?

I'm good. How are you?

I'm all right. Yeah. The wrist is a bit. That I injured, is a bit twingy, but it's okay. I can do a lot more good before, but, yeah, it's good. It's. It is what it is, as they say. So I've got a juicy word for you. I don't think it's quite as juicy as last week's word, I have to be honest. The word is laughter.

Laughter. Even saying the word, I feel good. Yeah. Well, it's quite an expression, isn't it? Yeah. You know, we. We tend to think of laughter as joyful and an expression of something that tickled our fanc or caught us in some way. And what also comes to mind is I've seen people laugh in covering up discomfort or awkwardness or. That's kind of a shame, now that I think of this, because I've not thought of that before, really, in this way. You know, it. When it happens naturally, out of just being present to what's happening in the moment, and. And it sparks. It's like joy. It's like, you know, a spontaneous outburst of joy, really. And when used for other things, it's not the same. It's. It's a. It's a cover. Huh. I don't want to go down that path, really, But I do see how we can use all kinds of things, even things that are, you know, maybe it's because it's more acceptable, you know, if we're bothered by something and we actually feel uncomfortable and maybe a little angry or something like that, that we might use something as wonderful as laughter to hide the truth. And I'm going to end with how wonderful it is to just laugh, to just fully express and even that. I wonder if we kind of hold back on that sometimes, You know, when it happens spontaneously, it's kind of a vulnerable thing to, like, fully let it out. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me what you got going on with this laughter bit and where this came from and what you see.

Yeah. Probably noticing that I do it more than I used to, I think, you know, naturally just, I mean, Bruce and I are just like daft kids sometimes and we giggle a lot together and sometimes we get so silly about something that we can't stop, you know, and you just can't stop laughing. But we both go to improvisation classes and, and that is, you know, a couple of hours of that and your face is actually hurting is because you've laughed so much. So I think it's something that I, I not seek. But I, I do love to, I love to laugh. You know, Bruce and I would always go to a comedy show over a concert. You know, it's that kind of thing. We would always go in that direction because we really love. Yeah, laughter and silliness, I guess, but, but I would say not so many years ago that would have not been a priority in my life because I've always been quite sharp witted. But like the free and easiness of things like doing improvisation and just lose, like you said, it is quite vulnerable to just completely lose it and end up, you know, giggling so you can't stop. I don't think that would have been a feature of my life when I was really stressed out and really, you know, burning out. It probably wasn't very prominent. But the other little cheeky thing like you've mentioned a little bit about, you know, humor, you know, has it, has it got like a darker side, as it were? Well, I'd say like my darker side to it is if I, if for example, I'm on like a business one to one with somebody or you know, some of these events you go to and they keep putting you into breakout rooms. If I can't like get a bit of that kind of fun and laughter with the person fairly early on, if they're a bit. Yeah, some people just are, aren't they? They just don't have a smile. If I can't connect with them kind of, if I tell a joke or I, I do witticism and they don't even crack a smile, I start to get a little bit edgy. Like I don't like it. I really notice if somebody's too serious. I don't know, does it scare me? I don't know what's going on there. But it's quite funny to see, it's quite funny to see how, yeah, how I, I really don't like that. I really find I don't connect with somebody who doesn't laugh, who's very, very serious. And I've had it. I don't have it happen very often. I've had it happen a few times on, on networking events where there's been somebody who's just very. Wants to really seriously talk about business and I'm like, let's talk about the snow. I'm just like, you know, trying to talk about personal stuff and connect to them on that level and they're just, you know, very kind of stony faced. And yeah, I find I get a little bit on edge. And when I think about it, when I think about like when I was younger I used to, I think I used to use humor to get away with things probably like at school in particular because I was quite bright and quite witty. I used to get away with things that other people get away with because I just managed teach a laugh or, you know, so. And it's really funny because when Jack was little, my, my son who's 23 now. Oh my goodness. I couldn't tell him off. I couldn't tell him off because as soon as telling him off he, he, he'd know what to do to make me laugh. He'd just do, I'd say something or he'd do something and he, he kind of used that strategy to kind of get out of being in both. But yeah, it's funny how it's. I think it's got, like you said, it's got a purity to it. You know, when you're just with somebody and you're just laughing and laughing and there's just you, you lose track of time. There's real. I, I think it's a really present act. It's a present thing, isn't it? You know, like it's just, it just happens sometimes when you just get really caught up in it. But yeah, I think you're right that there's all the little like everything. I suppose there's another side to everything, isn't there really? Every bit of our human experience, you know, whether it's joy or laughter or you know, the things that we would normally love. I mean, you know how people use that word and they're not doing it very nicely sometimes, are they? But yeah, yeah, so that's. They're my thoughts, my initial thoughts on laughter.

Yeah. You know what a word that came up when you were talking about it just coming out of you when you spend time just laughing about things. And I thought about it being a creative energy because it is so when it's allowed to just flow out, it's like things you bring more in. You just, you know, when you're in that mode of just allowing things to delight or surprise or, you know, touch you in some, you know, way. Yeah, you know, it. And another thing that kind of just occurred to me is how personal. Personal it kind of is. Like, I think about Rob and Elizabeth, my daughter and husband. They have a humor. They can watch shows that, you know, just spark laughter in them. And I'm kind of like, you know, is it one of those kind of shows? Because I know I'm not going to enjoy it because I don't get it. My. It doesn't spark the. Whatever it is that gets my laughter to burst out. And there be some other things that I will find truly laughable that maybe they don't see the humor in it. That was just kind of interesting to me too. That. Yeah. And I'm just wondering, those people in those networking events, it's like, what is humor to them? And is it. Do they see it or anyone really? Is it a frivolity? Is it like there's a time for business and then there's a time for play and fun and laughter and the two shall never cross? You know, isn't that. That kind of thing? We can come up with all kinds of rules. Hey. That we innocently, really unaware we can put on by, you know, from past experiences or whatever, like growing up in our household. You know, maybe there were some strictness to it, but there were some funny rules, like no singing at the table. And I always thought that's so weird because it's not like we never sang as a family, but it's just like, why wouldn't you do that at the table when, you know, burst out funny. Funny stuff. Yeah. Anyways. Interesting. I think there's a lot of. Yeah. Like conditioning. Just like anything that can come into play. This is good.

And cultural stuff as well, because it's. We obviously, we have Netflix over here and we will, you know, we'll tune into a show and with American shows, we kind of have to. We have to just have to watch the first episode and see how it goes. Because some of them we find hysterical and others with the canned laughter's on, and we're like, what are you actually laughing at? There is literally nothing funny here at all. And I think that. Because I think there are cultural differences as well with. With humor, aren't there? The very. There's different types of humor that land, you know, under that. Obviously, I. I tend to watch anything that's English spoken, so that can be American, Australian, British, and. Yeah, there's some things that are funny. From across the pond and some that I'm just like, I have no idea why, why you would think that's funny. I'm just thinking as well about how, how does, because, because that must be to do with culture conditioning etc and how, how does, how does the funny bone actually develop? Like how does that actually. Where does it come from? And I remember when I was a teacher, little children. So when I was maybe teaching like year two so there'd be like seven year olds and they were just so awful at telling jokes. The jokes would just be a question with an answer. Then they'd start laughing and you'd be like no, there's no play on words there, there's nothing. But they got the concept that you would ask a question and then deliver an answer and, and then start laughing. So they kind of picked up some of the social cues of it but not the fact that it had to actually be funny. And so I, I actually bought a joke book or got one out of the library or something and, and some, some days at the end, usually when they're seven you read a story at the end of the school day. But some days I didn't do storytelling. I got them to stand up and read a joke out because I just, I kind of thought it's kind of, it's a bit of a social skill, isn't it? And I also think it develops language because so much of our humor is a play on words. It's, you know, it's a twist on, on, you know, the, the language. The language is. I like humor like that. That is, you know, you take a bit of something and you, you kind of twist it and it becomes funny. So yeah, I actually taught these kids how to tell a joke because it was torture every time they came. I've got a joke for you. O have to stay here and listen to it. Just so awful. And it's interesting noticing with Bruce's little boy Ethan, he's just sort of, he's 12 now and he's really starting to get. Because we're, we're quite sharp witted in this house and I mean sometimes a little bit mean with a bit in a light hearted way and he's really starting to kind of chip in with these little, his little. I remember when he was little as well, like please don't, don't torture me with your jokes either. So it's really, it, it is something that I think develops through our conditioning. My children have both got, both very sharp. They'll come back at you with a Sharp witted thing very quickly because they were brought up in a home where that was just going on all the time. So I think, yeah, our senses of humor, I think it's like they're, they're part of our conditioning but also like you kind of pointed to before, the, there's something about our unique essence, our unique creative essence that, that is, you know, is part of this creative core of us, but it's got this, it's got this essence of our conditioning in it. And so it's, Is it like a, it is a unique expression of us, isn't it? Like our, our sense of humor? While there must be some universal things as well because there are certain people obviously who are, you know, touring arenas and selling out and there's a guy called Peter K here and literally his tickets go on sale and they're gone like literally within seconds out so quickly because he's, he's, he's just. A lot of people find him very funny. Right, so there is some personality to it as well, isn't it? Meant like some oneness to it, I think as well.

Yeah, it brings people together, this ability to get, you know, similar amusement out of the same thing. Yeah, indeed. I, yeah, I was gonna say, I feel for me that this is going to stay with me a while. I think there's more to see for me personally around laughter and humor and, you know, everything that kind of goes with it and, and doesn't go with it, but we put it, we mash them together. What were you gonna say, Claire?

Yeah, there was something about when I, when I burnt out, I was put on antidepressants because I, they thought I had depression, I didn't have burnout, but. And I, I noticed this sort of flattening of all my emotions and this is one kai called Michael McIntyre who is just, I find him hysterically funny. He's really funny and he sells these amazing stories that just, are just. But they're often related to stuff in your house. It tells this whole story about the man draw. In everybody's. Every house you've got a man draw with all these bits of old keys from houses that you don't own anymore and the shed that you put in the bin 10 years ago and all sorts of, you know, bits of, bits of, a bit of plastic or something. You think, well, I don't really know what that's for. That goes in the mandraw and he tells this whole funny story about what's in the mandrawn, like, you know, as brings all the different items into this story. And I remember when I was on the antidepressants, I. I always laugh at his show. I think he's really funny. And I just couldn't find. It was like, there's something about that aliveness that was being almost squashed down by. I mean, I didn't get. I didn't get emotional anyway. I didn't really get upset. I didn't really get. And just nothing. It was all very flat. But I kind of knew there was something amiss when I wasn't laughing at Michael McIntyre Because I always find him so funny and. Yeah, there was. There's something about maybe tablets like that that just take a little bit of the edge of you away, really, you know, and you just experience life in the same way at all.

Yeah.

And we're supposed to, aren't we? We're supposed to go up and down. We're supposed to have the laughter and the tears and the anxiety and the anger, and we're supposed to do all of that. And the tablets do that. They kind of flatten everything out and they don't go up and down anymore, which is probably a relief sometimes for some people.

Yes. At times I could see that when there is so much emotion, I'm finding that where I'm getting people asking me about, like, how do I control this? Or how do I squelch it so they're not feeling. And this someone close to me a few years ago, there was a lot of up and down, and then there came a point where it was flat and they said that they basically felt numb. I was more afraid and felt sick about that than about the ups and downs. It's like that was. That was scary to me. And not that if. If you're listening and you're kind of feeling that, it's like, I don't mean to put fear out there, but it was. I can work with something that's natural. Emotional highs and lows, those are natural. And when we get to a place where we can be okay with that and learn to ride it and understand that life is not meant to be smooth or flat or, you know, all the time. And I get it if you don't understand how we're naturally built to handle emotion, how our body is meant to. It's like. It's like a raft for us. And we can. It's okay to ride it and feel it and express it, whether it's laughter or. Or tears or grief or sorrow or whatever. Like to ride it and. And know that it's much more exhausting from what I see and have experienced, to try and stop it, to try and control it when we just, like, allow know that it's normal, it's natural. And some of us are made for Eve to handle even more of it than others. If you're experiencing it, you're built for it, you're made for it. And you can trust yourself to just like, not this, not the mind so much because that'll have you getting all caught up in things and wanting to hide from it and avoid it and not let it all out, but that deeper part of you that is just like, just ride it out. Because the thing is, they always. It never just goes up, up, up or down, down, down. There's always something. And some of the waves are higher and some of them are lower. There's always a time, if we care to look for it, when things are just like, ah, these are just nice little waves that I can float on. And being okay when it becomes higher or lower.

And we don't like when we're laughing uncontrollably to the point of, you know, we call them. I call it a tenor. I don't know if you have tenor ladies in Canada. They're. They're the things that you put, you know, when you can no longer control your bladder as you go coughing and sneezing stage. They're called tenor ladies. And so we call it a tenor lady moment. And. And you know, it's like, we don't try to control that, do we? We just kind of let it happen and it, you know, and I've been at a point where I've been, like, upset, but then, like, laughing and then crying and then like, all in the same kind of thing. And, you know, there's the allowing of all of that, whether it's laughing, crying, anxiety, whatever it is. Freedom, I think, like that really, you know, and seeing that there's no difference really between laughter and crying, it's. They're all just emotional energy moving through, aren't they? And, you know, it's all. It's all safe. Nothing is any less safe than anything else.

Yes, yes. That is a really great key point that you are safe. You're made to emote, you know?

Yeah, definitely.

Let it go. Let it go. Good. Good word. Good. Thank you, claire.

Thank you so much. It's been lovely.

Yes, it has been. Appreciate you.

Yeah. Time.

You betcha.

Ciao. Bye.

Hey. Thank you for being a part of navigating life with ease. We'd love to hear your feedback. And receive a review on your favorite podcast place platform. This will help others who'd also like more ease in their life to find us. We're here to support you, so if you have any words you'd like us to explore or you have a question, please reach out to us at Navigating life with ease gmail.com Again, thanks for listening and stay tuned for more episodes of Navigating Life With Ease.