Danielle Egan and Claudio Reyna: Chapter 11 - Soccer Supporters - Players and Their Parents

We want him to be a kid. Ride your bike, play manhunt, be with your friends, swim, play golf, play golf, tennis. Just do everything. So many parents now I see kids, they have individual trainings right now, five days a week. I don't think it's really making kids that much better.

Parents ask us and they think I taught them moves and all this stuff, and I'm like, he learns on the field, he plays. And I was little, you know, like we kicked the ball around. But there's no, there's no training here at Raina House. You know, everything's playing and having fun and we're competitive and we'll get into an argument over ping pong, but. But that's what it is. It's not like training and individual stuff that we do by any means.

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Here's your host, voice of the North.

Carolina Courage and North Carolina FC Dean Leinke.

Today's episode is on Chapter 11, titled Soccer Supporters, Players and Their Parents. This episode and the coinciding chapter in the Vision of a Champion speaks to a larger audience. Instead of focusing on soccer players and aspiring stars, we will include their parents into today's conversation. The bond between a player and their parents is a beautiful thing, but it is never perfect. A parent's support of the child can be extremely helpful to their confidence, but it also can cause an insurmountable amount of stress. In chapter 11, the great aunts Endurance talks about some of the common pitfalls that parents fall into when supporting their children in athletics. So I'm super excited about today's show, and part of that excitement is geared around today's guests, who are one I have known forever and one I have known of forever. With our guests today, we have Claudio and Danielle Reyna, or as UNC fans would recognize, Danielle, with her maiden name as Danielle Egan. Danielle played at UNC from 91 to 94, and her time was filled with championships as she played with other fellow UNC greats, including Mia Hamm, Christine Lilly, and Tisha Venturini. While playing At UNC in 1993, Danielle also split time with the US Women's National Team Now I say I've known of Danielle forever because my wife of over 25 years lived in Chapel Hill. Danielle, you didn't know this? We started dating back in 1992. I came here, I went to a UNC basketball game at the Dean Dome and I could not figure out why one concession stand had a line with over 200 people in it and all the other concession stands had nobody. And of course, it turned out the reason was Danielle Egan was serving the Pepsi Colas in the concession stand and the line was around the corner. Claudio, you know it. And the better half Danielle's Indeed. You did well, Claudio and Danielle's husband. Well, I first met him as the 92 US Olympic team press officer and then stayed with him as the 94 US World cup team press officer. And for me, I was mesmerized by the young man's abilities from day one, as everyone was. To be fair, Claudio Reyna is indeed one of the greatest American soccer players ever. Full stop.

Period.

Claudio took the nation by storm during his time at UVA from 91 to 93, winning an NCAA championship each of the three seasons he was there. Claudio had a long and fruitful career in Europe from 94 to 2007, playing in Germany, Scotland and England. His European fans affectionately nicknamed him Captain America. Claudio was a force to be reckoned with on the US Men's National Team for over a decade with 112 caps. He played in three different World Cups and two Summer Olympics. And even with the amazing achievements Claudio and Danielle have achieved, many of our younger listeners would currently recognize them more for being the best American soccer parents with their superstar son, Gio Reina, making a statement on the international stage. Gio currently plays for Borussia Dortmund in the Bundesliga and he has been getting caps for Champions League games as a 17 year old. As two phenomenal soccer players themselves, Danielle and Claudio have plenty of experience in raising a soccer star and joys and struggles that indeed come with it. Today's podcast will also include Anson Dorrance, you UNC Head Coach with UNC Women's Soccer. Anson has probably dealt with more soccer parents than he cares to admit. He has seen the best and worst of parents and knows exactly how their actions impact their children, and we will be discussing all of that in today's episode. Welcome Claudio, Danielle and Anson. Great to be with you guys.

Thank you for having us.

Thank you Dean. Thanks for the intro and looking forward to spending time with you guys today when.

Well, I certainly appreciate it. Anson. Let's get this out of the way. I mean, are you kidding me? Is this not the power couple of power couples in soccer, maybe even in sport? What a killer combo, right?

Well, there's absolutely no question. I mean, this is the way horse breeding started. You know, you get one mare that won several Kentucky derbies, you'd find, you know, a partner. And all of a sudden, that's. That's the philosophy in horse breeding. And so this is obviously a genetic combination that's extraordinary, I mean, to a people that won collegiate championships consistently, that played for their national teams. And so, absolutely. I mean, this is the future. If the United States starts to slip, they'll start to match couples based on their athletic pedigree. And so maybe this is the solution to the men's side of the game right now is to have these power couples get together and start having children. But actually, the reason for this episode is because you know what? It is certainly a part of the genetic pool that makes their son so extraordinary. But honestly, the reason I love having both of these people on this podcast is it's also because the way they were raised. So that's what I'm interested in right now. I want to find out what these two parents did, uniquely, that gave this kid an opportunity to be this extraordinary soccer player. So I'll let you get to work, Dean, because I want to sit here and listen, and I want to learn something.

Well, I do, too. And one thing I do want to learn before we dig deeper into the chapter, Danielle, is how did you two meet, and how did you make it work with such busy schedules at a young age?

Well, we actually met in California in Laguna Niguel at the Holiday Inn, because there was a women's camp that I was in, and he was with the men's team. And I was actually looking for my roommate, Linda Hamilton, and she was missing for, like, two hours. And I was like, oh, let me wander around. And she was down with a few of the other girls sitting with a few guys from the men's team. And we never met, but we knew of each other because UVA and uncle, the ACC thing, and Roz and Greg Berhalter were dating. Who are. Roz is my best friend since maybe 9 years old. And Claudio and Greg played together and are very close friends as well since they were young.

Yeah, 10 or 11.

Claudio's dad was their coach, so we were like, oh, hey, hey. And I always say he offered me pizza, and that was it.

That's fantastic. That was where our temporary offices were at that Holiday Inn. Claudia if you remember, before the training center was ready. So.

How about that?

That is fantastic.

It's funny. Yeah, it's fun. Funny how the sports come a long way. Six months prior to the World Cup, I was living in that Holiday Inn with. With a teammate for about three months, Frankie Kopas. And then I got my own room, and I thought it was. I made it, and I was still an amateur because I had not signed a professional contract. So one thing's for sure, times changed. And, yeah, that hotel, that story brought us together, but we. We didn't know each other without ever meeting before. So it was. It was when we got to speak, it felt like we'd known each other.

So usually the story goes, if you're a superstar parent, that usually means you had superstar parents. So real quickly, if you could both just talk about the impact your parents made on you.

Yes, I'll start. My mom and dad moved to the United States back in the late 60s, early 70s. We're first generation. My brother and I have an older brother, my dad from Argentina. My mother's Portuguese, which plays a role in kind of Gia being able to get his passport at 16 to move to Europe. So I'm also Portuguese citizen as well. She moved to Argentina when she was 10, just under 10 years old. And that's where my mom and dad met. They moved over to the US for, like, everybody, a better life and better opportunity. And they really worked hard, working class. We had everything we needed at home, although we were, you know, certainly. I never felt poor, but we were certainly sort of lower income. Family and education was a big priority for my dad. He really couldn't get one back in Argentina, so he just pushed us to do well in school. My brother went to Notre Dame. He was very more on the academic side, I'll be honest. I was more on the athletic side. So soccer was my driving force. You know, my goal was college, a scholarship, and in all honesty, that was it. And when I started my career at uva and I was playing on the youth national teams is when, you know, the thought of being a professional soccer player happens. I was like, 16, 17, where I felt it was possible that I could be a soccer player. But they played a huge role to this day. They're great grandparents and really proud of all of our kids and. But they sacrificed a lot, for sure, to provide for me. And, yeah, I think the one thing they probably taught me more than anything was humility. So my dad never wanted me to be like, he was proud of me. And he bragged about me a lot, but he never wanted me to, you know, become arrogant or think I was more important than anybody else. And so I think that that was a good trait that he certainly passed on to me. He's very humble person. So I think that that kind of was a big part of my upbringing.

And for me, my dad played lacrosse in college, and my mom was always super active. So I don't remember not playing sports, whether it was in the backyard. And I grew up in a neighborhood filled with boys, so I really can't remember not playing sports. But I do remember when I joined soccer, My girlfriend Elizabeth, we were in kindergarten, and she's like, oh, we have to join soccer. I'm on the panda bears. And I was. I was thinking, I run home. I'm like, mom, Mom, I need to be on the panda bears. Of course I couldn't get on the panda bears. I was crushed. But I don't remember the name of the team I was on. But the minute I stepped on some kind of organized field of soccer, I fell in love with it. And through my whole entire career, my parents supported me and made me think I could do anything and get anywhere. And in eighth grade, I kind of fell in love with UNC soccer and said, this is my dream. And I just kind of went after it. And luckily, I was able to get there, but with full support of my parents, of. And I played a ton of sports. And back then, you were able to play basketball, run track, play volleyball, which is probably what we'll talk about in this, too, is different times, for sure.

Yeah, definitely. Yeah. They ran around a lot for us, I would say we both. And it took us everywhere, of course. But I feel that's definitely more now than it used to be.

Yeah, indeed. The schedules are ridiculous now. Anson, real quick, before we turn back over to Gio, what is your biggest pet peeve as it relates to the parents of your athletes?

Well, the thing that always scares me is why the kid is playing. And sometimes there's so much pressure from the parents for the kid to win a college scholarship or. And they play with huge stress. And the thing that drives me nuts is, you know, sports should be fun. And I loved what Danielle was talking about with her upbringing, just enjoying sport and loved what Claudia was saying about, you know, his dad, obviously, being from Argentina, certainly knew everything about the game and how much fun it can be. And so I think what's critical and some of the parents lose sight of this is, I hope the reason your kid is playing this sport is because you want your kid to have an incredible time, you know, playing the sport, that this isn't going to pay you back for all the, you know, minivan trips you took and the places you flew your kid to, you know, participate in this tournament or that tournament. Because what I see happening, and you guys are seeing this now, and certainly Claudio that's involved in this at a very high level. I mean, kids are quitting our game in droves. From 14 to 16, kids are just quitting. And why are they quitting? They're not having fun anymore. And I think what's critical is for the parents to know that, hey, you know, let's have fun. Let's do this, let's do that. And so that's what I think is critical for the parent to understand the reason this kid is playing this sport or that sport or soccer and is to have fun. So let's not, you know, stress them out. That's why I'm interested in what Danielle and Claudio did, because the kid had to fall in love with sport and the game, and I'm sure that's why he's at his current level.

Well, with that, let me ask this question this way, Danielle. In this chapter, Anson actually, not surprisingly, airs his grievances about coaching parents and how they can hurt their child more than they help as great players yourselves. We've already gone over that. How do you strike a balance with Gio where you can give him tips and recommendations, but you don't add extra pressure on him or clash with his coaches? Obviously now, probably not talking to the coaches, but as he was developing, well.

When he was younger, we kind of both talked to him about soccer, and the older he got, I kind of became his emotional support and Claude was his soccer support. We both had very particular roles. We probably still do very similar on the emotional side of the game, relationships in the game. I dealt with those and you dealt with the soccer side. And luckily, because of our history, we didn't really have many problems with coaches.

No, we didn't. And I think I would add that parents of sports is such a huge topic, and I'm glad we're talking about it because just going back to what Anson was saying, it does impact.

How.

Child falls out of love with the sport. The parent first is the first person who ruins it for the kid, then a coach, and then last, the player. And so I always talk about that and, you know, make them aware that it's in that order. They beat them down and they take the love out of it. And that's very important as far as coaching goes and our experiences is. I was an assisting coach once in the entire youth career of Geo. One time when he was U11. So we. I didn't coach him. I wasn't the one running the training sessions. We would go there sometimes. I would jump in when I was younger, but I helped the coach. I was busy working and I was there around, but I wasn't the coach. He was very talented right from the beginning, Athletic, quick. Everything he picked up, he's. He was naturally gifted, whether it was golf or basketball, but he loved it. Him. And ball was his probably his first word.

It was his first word.

It was. The first word he said was ball. And the ball was rolling around the house. He'd go get it, he'd go throw it, you know. But looking back, he, you know, he's had an American football as a birthday cake once when he was 13, because he loved American football at that time. And we're like, great, we'll make an American football. So we didn't beat him down with soccer. Soccer, soccer. We did not. He actually wouldn't watch games that much. He would sometimes sit and watch certain games with me. But he loved watching basketball, he loved watching other sports. And so I never. I never wanted him to be something he wasn't in terms of how he grew up loving the sport. And so from coaching to what he did at home, you know, he'd go out sometimes and not touch a soccer ball for a week and play basketball every day. And I wasn't forcing him to say, hey, go shoot or go take your touches. Because ultimately, when he played, he gave 100% and he had fun. And that's all. It's really all you can ask for. So it wasn't like he was slacking. And as Danielle said, she was more of the. She still is a bit like, firm with, you know, effort, effort, big effort person, big effort, you know, And I kind of give him the break on that. I'm like, oh, maybe he was tired or whatever. But she's on him at training and making sure that he works hard when he was younger. And I'm a lot, a lot on. Also the respect thing. We both are making sure he's a good teammate. So I really find myself and going back talking so much more about other things in life than soccer with him. He gets it. I mean, he was a little kid and he could figure out spacing and where the ball should be and all those things that you just learn with experience. So I didn't have to spend so much time on giving tips or information to make them better. But the life ones I think is where we focus on so much is, is helping them. And, and now, you know, we fast forward and we're talking about being mindful of finance and money and these are conversations you never thought you'd have with a 17 year old. You know, he's still a boy. But these are the things we're we're managing now as parents.

Hey everyone, we're going to take a quick break here to tell you about our sponsor, soccer.com Anson has been coaching for 44 years and it seems like soccer.com has been around nearly that long as well. It's pretty close as the soccer.com business has been family run and based in Hillsboro, North Carolina since 1984. If you're a player or a coach who needs soccer shoes, equipment, gear, whatever it may be, do what the pros do. Head on over to soccer.com.

This is Dean Linke. I hope you've been enjoying the podcast and I wanted to make you aware that Anson just released a new audiobook version of his hardcover book, the Vision of a Champion. Now you can listen to the book, narrated by Anson Dorrance, and switch back to the free podcast to hear the stars of the women's game discuss each chapter. The Vision of a Champion Audiobook is available on Apple Books, Amazon's, Audible, Google Play, or wherever you get your audiobooks. To find it, simply search the Vision of a Champion Audiobook. Now let's get back to the show.

What advice as parents to other parents would you give if there's some parents whose child is starting to show a lot of promise on the field? Claudio and Danielle, what is the best thing they can do to support the further development of their child without being overbearing, which is key.

I'll start, I would just say think of the longer term. Just take it easy. They're going to have some bad games, some bad moments. And this is what I bugs me the most about a lot of parents is that if they were sports fans, which many of them are, and they follow sports, you lose and you don't play well all the time and you get a bad call against you. And I get it. I mean, you know, you get passionate on the sideline, want to win, we've all been there. But just again, being able to take a step back more often, especially when they're younger, you know, this is not anything's on the line. So just being able to kind of take A deep breath and understand that it's okay when your son or daughter has a bad game or your team plays bad, because it happens. And I always say this story to parents. I'm like, you know, who watches the Premier League, who watches La Liga, who watches mls, anything? You know, go look at the standings, teams. Teams lose, teams play bad. This is what's going to happen to your kid. And so you kind of get that out of the way and there's all of this, like, you know, it doesn't bug me so much when you see all these parents that, you know, they going undefeated is so big. And again, it's a big achievement. But at younger ages, when it's not the priority, more the development part of it. So those are just some of my thoughts on that side of it.

And also, we never thought Gia was going to be a professional soccer player. It was not something that ever entered our mind. He was very athletic. He played up. We had wonderful experiences in college. So we're like, wow, if you can play college soccer, we'll be so excited for that. So a friend of mine, she's like, so what did you do with Geo? I'm like, what do you mean? She goes, well, like, all the extra trainings. And I'm like, no, we never did one extra training. He played AU basketball till about the age of 14, which, between basketball and soccer, regular practices, his time was filled. Plus, we want him to be a kid. Ride your bike, play manhunt, be with your friends, swim, play golf, play golf and tennis. Just do everything. But so many parents now, I see kids, they have individual trainings right now, five days a week. I don't think it's really making kids that much better.

Yeah, as you can hear, these are the things we're sharing about Gia that, you know, probably going to get into. But you know that parents ask us and they think we. I taught him moves and all this stuff, and I'm like, no, he just. He learns on the field. He plays. And I was little, you know, like, we kicked the ball around, but there's no. There's no training here at Raina House. You know, everything is playing and having fun. It's fun and we're competitive. I mean, we'll get into an argument over ping pong, but. But that's what it is. It's not like training and this individual stuff that we, you know, that we do by any means.

Well, that's interesting, Claudio, because I think a lot of people think. And even one of the questions that was sent in was about you living the game with him and breaking down Bundeslinger games. And he was a youngster and an outside passing and truly living the game through him. Did you do any of that at all? Like talk about it on a high level?

Yeah, but when he wanted to. Right. And you know, we'll sit down and watch a game and you know, and just analyze it, talk it. And as he got older and as he understood it and you know, and I felt there's times that we need to start learning some tactical understandings of spacing, defending, attacking, wise, always. Even until today, at his age, there's not much I can teach him. He's doing great. He scores goals, he makes assists. When he was younger, if we won 5 1, he would score three goals and have an assist. So what am I going to tell him? Like, I wasn't going to say score more goals or have more assists. He was contributing. What the focus has been in our conversation over the last couple of years has been the defensive side, because that, that requires more thinking, that requires more understanding of that. And it's also, you have to understand that's hard work and it's a part of soccer at the highest level. So, you know, as he moves towards Europe, I just, I challenge him in a way and I say certain things to him about how close you get to a player and putting pressure. What you're doing at 16 is not going to work. When you go to the Bundesliga, I'm like. And I explained to him, like, do you remember that one play where you pressured the player and you gave like three yards? I go, if you do that in the Bundesliga, a guy that's so much room, he's going to pick a pass and you're going to give a chance to the opponent, and so he gets it. And I said, when you play at a higher level, you have to be tighter. So I would say a lot of conversation recently has been about the defensive side, but also, you know, still also the same messages that I gave him when he was 12 and 13, like, be free, create chances, you know, be dangerous, because that's, that's his strength, that's what he does well. So you always, you always have to remind kids what they do well and their strengths are. And I think sometimes, often parents and coaches focus on the weaknesses and what they need to get better on, which is good. But you know, I try to have like a ratio of when you talk to a kid, even if it's like, well done, good, that's great, you know, 10 positive comments and then, and then you throw in something, you know, a view, an opinion, something constructive. And I think that's how it works with Gio because Gio's very stubborn and we've certainly had to learn how to communicate with him because sometimes he doesn't want to hear anything. And that's my point before that, I don't always, hey, what do you think? What do you want to do? You have to let him sometimes want to come and speak as well.

And also, like, our kids have been surrounded by soccer their whole lives. Since they're born, they've been going to games, they watch games, they, you know, whether he was playing or he's sporting director or going to watch national, like there, it's just around them, but it's not forced upon them. We could be at a. We were at NYCFC games and our three kids are sitting with us, but if two of them go inside because they want to go play with the other kids, we don't care. Like, it's.

Yeah. Trying to keep it pretty relaxed. They love it because they love it, you know, But Gio, certainly, I would say this last couple years, he's learning so much this year playing against PSG and Bayern Munich and at 17, to be in those high pressure games and understand where he needs to be. I was so nervous because that it's basically the level of those games, and this is what he said, is that you're basically playing to the point of that when you have the ball, you're not as much thinking about the chance you're gonna create. You have to make sure you don't lose the ball, because if you lose the ball, the other team might score and it's. And those are the things that when he's growing up playing in most games, you know, you lose the ball, it's no big deal. You're gonna get it back quickly. So he felt that kind of pressure. That level was amazing. And again, he's getting all these experiences such a young age, and he's getting to see it in front of him now. So I think also similar to my dad, my dad was really hard on me, much harder than I was on Gio, by far. Like, not even close. And then, you know, he let me go once. I was 18 when I went to college. He just let me go. And it's a little bit of the same thing. Gio's still a boy, but he's on his own. He's in the locker room with world champions and these amazing players. And in all honesty, he's learning so much more there than from me right now. So that's kind of how I see.

Kind of dies back some of the things they said about playing other sports. You've been a proponent of that forever, Anson. You've never been one of those guys that said, just play soccer all the time.

Yeah. I mean, I think we should love sport, and I think that's the first responsibility of a parent, is to make sure their kid. And I love listening to Danielle and Claudio because everything they're saying, by the way, if they had contradicted everything in the chapter I wrote, I would have been okay with that. But what's been cool is they have supported everything I've said in this chapter. Yeah, let your kid have fun. And with that, they're gonna. If they decide, you know, soccer is their thing. Yeah, they jump into soccer. I mean, Daniel knows this. I mean, in the off season, all of our kids jump into intramural basketball. I take it very seriously. I go to all their games. We have two teams I want them to meet in the finals. We press for, you know, 40 minutes because half the girls can't play basketball, but they can certainly defend. And, boy, can they whack someone to death, you know, just because they're very aggressive. And I want Danielle to know my heart was soaring like a hawk when the Tar Heel part of you is there telling your kids about effort. Holy cow. I mean, Carol Dweck, who wrote this incredible book called Mindset, talks about how everything is about effort. I mean, it all comes down to effort. And so, first of all, thank you, Danielle. Thank you for, you know, being the effort queen, because, yes, so much comes down to effort. And I also love what Claudia was saying about defending. I mean, as Danielle knows, I mean, the primary mission at North Carolina, if you want to get on the field, is you have to defend. If you don't defend, I don't care how talented you are, you don't play. It's not complex. And if you stop defending, the greatest thing about the collegiate game is you're coming off the field. Why? Because if you don't defend for us, you're off. I don't care what you're doing offensively. If you're not defending, the whole team collapses because we rely on everyone to defend. And so, yeah, I think our kids should just love playing sports. And to have parents like Claudio and Danielle that understand this and then let their kid play, you know, basketball right through, you know, 14 splitting with soccer so they don't get burned out on anything. They absolutely love everything about their sport. And so I am thoroughly enjoying this conversation. And, Dean, I don't even remember your question anymore, but I just wanted to compliment Danielle and Claudio on what they're saying, because I absolutely agree with you.

You answered the question about playing multiple sports going back to Gio, Danielle, and Claudio, and you already touched on one of the challenges that I haven't even figured out, and that is finances. And I'm 50. But what's been the biggest challenge with your son becoming such a prominent and exciting young American soccer superstar?

Well, it's been. This process has been really, really funny. Even when European teams were first interested in him, every time he reaches milestone, I'm like, well, this is just ridiculous. This is so funny. This is so silly. And then he's like, no, this is what I'm gonna do. And he's made it to the level where he wants to be. So I was like, him moving away, this is crazy. He's like, I want to do it. I want to do it. I'm like, okay. And a recent one was he wanted to move out of the dorm and get his own apartment. And I was flipping out because he's 17 and they have a kind of a house. Mom, dad there. And thought of him being on his own just was nerve wracking for me. But he wore me down. And Claudio supported him, and thank God he did end up having his own apartment with COVID because everyone had to leave the dorms, and it would have been kind of a mess anyway. Yeah. And now it's like, now we have to. He's pretty good. He's not, like a big spender, and he's pretty good with his finances. It's just.

Yeah, it's a very. It's been very odd to think about it because, you know, you. You have to eventually learn about it, and he's had to at a younger age from, you know, the clubs, Nike Adidas and Under Armour were all interested in him. They all called me within two weeks and said, hey, you know, we want to show interest. And then agents were reaching out, clubs were reaching out. This is when he was 14. So it was very weird. Weird for us. Despite having played and been recruited and gone to college and played, lived abroad, this was very, very strange. We'd never been through this, obviously. And so we're talking to him and, hey, do you like Nike Adidas? He's like, oh, yeah, I like both. And I'm like, okay, they're offering. And you got to talk to him about a Contract and bonuses and all these things. And then same with the club situation, then just managing kind of his finances. He's very responsible, very mature. You know, he likes clothes right now is like his main thing. But I think again, he's learning early, which is only a plus. He's out in the real world, so he's got to learn these things. With everything I would say, from picking his agent to what shoe deal to what club, it was very, very calm and relax. We didn't pressure him.

And I think because I was thinking of this, what we did is like with there were many clubs interested and we as a couple decided maybe these are the five, six clubs that we think would be the best options and the best places to go for a young kid. And then he did like a recruiting trip to all those clubs and then he picked the place. And we did the same with the agents. These are the agents that we trust that we.

We filtered the clubs with him, we filtered agents and we filtered the Nike Adidas conversation. But at the end, always it was his decision. We said, you have to own it. You have to have a gut feeling. What is it? Do you want to stay in mls? New York City, great, we will support you. Do you want to go to Europe? And that all took some time, but we didn't want him to look back and feel that we pushed them down. Something we said, look, this is your decision. You got to own it. This is exciting. And he has all the way through. So that's. That's been good about it. But he certainly, he's had to mature quickly. You know, again, this Covid situation, being away and now coming back and playing post Covid with no fans, playing in a Champions League game, he's had just a crazy first, first year, half of the year. I mean, he made his debut in a game, they won 5:3 and he came on with his 4:3 in the German Cup. He's the youngest ever score a goal assist in the Champions League. Covid happens, you know, playing behind closed doors. And I keep telling him, like, these are just unreal experiences. You're just putting in depositing in the bank. So. But yeah, it's good having all these conversations with them. And, you know, I have this thing that with, you know, this balance of like promoting him, which is very important, but protecting them is crucial.

I love that. And really, it sounds like everything's been pretty positive, but we'll try to make this a learning moment for all the folks that are going to watch this when it's released. All Three of you, really, if you see a player that has a relationship with their parents, Danielle, Claudio and Anson, that negatively affects their mental health and perhaps their play on the field. What should they do to change that relationship into something positive? And I realize there's some barriers there. Right. Because they're still the parents. But what kind of advice can you give if you see a negative reaction that you know is coming from what you said, Claudio, the number one reason a player falls out of love with the sport?

Well, I'll be quick. All I can do is set an example. So when I go to all of my kids games, any sports, you know, she knows this. I'm in the corner, I'm the quietest person there. I'm just, good luck, have fun, talk to them after and pick up my chair and leave. And then the middle is the craziness. So all I do, because a lot of people, especially at soccer games, like, oh, yeah, I used to play soccer, the guy over there with gray hair, you know, because you have a lot of younger fans now, so it's funny. And hopefully they realize, like, oh, he's pretty relaxed. And I feel that's really, without saying much, my biggest contribution. And then you spend a lot of time with teams and hopefully that could spread. Like our example as parents is ultimately, I feel what I could do, but.

He'S had to deal with parents who cross the line.

Yeah. So for my job. Yeah, My job side of it. Yeah. I meet with parents all the time. I talk to them and you know, that just there's warnings and then there's. They're actually out of the club because, you know, we have rules that are set at clubs, and I feel this is very, very important. And I think lack of responsibility by youth organizations that, you know, rules should be set at behaviors of youth sports. And I can't understand why that's so difficult. And it's like logical. And so yelling at the referee, yelling at anybody on the field, obviously the opponents, players and children, but your own and with parents. So if you kind of respect that and the referee, you know, you're starting off at a good place. And there's only a minority. And. And for some reason we've let this get out of control. And again, it's. To me, it's sad and disappointing and it's something that just. We need to kind of figure out, you know, all sports, how we can solve this because it impacts players. And none of them have fun. We've seen it all the time. I think these kids, you know, they Just wish their parents would.

They keep looking at their parents during the game.

They're like, so sad, so sad. So hopefully, you know, there's a way we can do this in any small way. But behaviors of parents continue to disappoint throughout youth sports. And you have new cycles, new parents who are just, you know, amped up and don't get bigger picture. And again, it's just a shame that we live in that world. So, again, things like this, what you guys are doing, getting the word out, and parents everywhere, be competitive, want to win, but just as parents, just be respectful and. And I feel that's something that we need to focus on.

Yeah, let me jump in, because first of all, you mentioned this earlier as well, Claudio and Danielle. I mean, so much of it comes down to character and behavior. And you were talking about how your dad insisted that you remain humble, and all the different elements of the way you're raising Gio just tie into this. Certainly for them to enjoy the game and learn the game, but ultimately, very few kids are going to end up playing at a professional level in any sport. And so does it have any value beyond fun? Yeah, it can. And what's the area where it has value? Yeah, the character shape of the kid that's involved. I mean, is he a good teammate? Is he humble? I mean, there's so many different elements that are incredibly positive. And obviously, like Claudia, I've dealt with parents all the time, can tell when a kid is being driven nuts by her parent. And I remember this one kid, one year after every game, her mother was actually a very good youth soccer coach. So after every single UNC game, I would see the girl go up to her mom, and I could tell from the body language that the girl was listening to a lecture, listening to the mom coach her about what just happened in the game. And I could see from her body language this wasn't positive for you. Finally, I asked the player, I said, you know, your mom seems to grab you after every game. What's going on? She says, well, she coached me growing up, and she was just sharing some ideas with me. And it wasn't like the kid threw the mom under the bus. But I could tell from the body language the kid hated this. And so I said, well, do you mind if I just talk to your mom about this a bit? Because I would love to set you free. And then the girls got really excited and said, yes. And so I actually called the mom up. I said, listen, all you have to do with your kid after the game is Throw your arms around her and tell her that you love her, and then how much fun she had watching you play. I am the coach. I am the one that's going to instruct her on her performance. Please do the other part for me. Just support her as your daughter. And that wasn't the only one. I mean, I've done this on numerous occasions, and obviously, I'm watching these kids as they go to their parents, and I can tell if it's a good relationship or a bad one if I can sense it's a bad one. Obviously, I approach the player first to get permission to basically talk to the parents, say, you know what? Let me coach your kid. I have some experience in this. Let me coach your kid. Just tell your kid how much you love watching her play. That's basically your job. Claudio and I and Danielle, with what she's done in raising her kids, understand the critical element of emotional support. So, Danielle, I love the fact that, you know, that is your responsibility, because, boy, you need emotional support. You need to know your love regardless of what happens, regardless how well you play or poorly. So all these elements tie into the critical aspects of parenting. And so listening to you, too, I mean. And I can again use steal, one of Hasan's famous vocabulary words that he's taught me. This podcast is going to be evergreen. This will last forever as a clinic on how parents should raise their kids. So, Claudio and Daniel, thank you. This has been wonderful for me to listen to.

Yeah, just one. That's great, too. Thank you. On the emotional part of it, which is really interesting, too, and I would add is that. And I had to learn and have some discipline, and I started to realize that he would tell her things that he wouldn't tell me. And I'd be honest. At first, I was like, oh, why wouldn't you tell me that? And then I realized that there's certain things that are easy to share with mom. So I made sure that I never was like, well, why don't you tell me these things? I respect that he has that lane with her. And at the same time, I'll go to her and be like, oh, he told me all these things about practice today, about training or something. When he wants to open up and doesn't maybe tell her. And so it's the same thing. Like, you know, and I think that's important that as a dad, I think sometimes we need to make sure that if mom's an outlet for something, that. That we respect that because they have.

And vice versa.

And vice versa.

You know, Yeah, I like that point. Well, as we all know right now, Danielle and Claudio, we're dealing with unprecedented times, both with this pandemic and both with social injustice, but yet we're inspired by people in sport. So we have always been inspired by both of you, and now, really, the entire country is inspired by your own son, which probably makes you more exciting than any excitement you ever had for us. Being inspired by you with that as you look into the camera and we wrap up this chapter of Vision of a Champion. What is your message to everybody out there right now during this unprecedented time? And if you can tie it back into parenting as well, because people look up to both of you?

Well, I think certainly this has allowed us to reflect on everything. And I think youth sports as well hopefully comes out of this a little bit different in terms of trying to bring things back to how we grew up. I think we talked about that in the beginning of the podcast and what it was like to stay closer to home, play with older siblings, play different sports, and, you know, to make up for some of the tournaments or trips somewhere to play. I think there's an opportunity that there's going to be some time that we get back that we lost and sort of how the youth sports has been now. So that's exciting. Played many different things, of course, have opportunity to take a step back and take a deep breath. And again, another thing related to Gio is that he had about six months to a year where he didn't play because he had an injury, had to wait for the move to happen. And, you know, again, we were very calm about it. I mean, we could have easily thought, oh, my God, he's missing all this training time we talked about or competitive time. And he picked up right again. And, you know, so it's interesting. I'm really looking forward to seeing what impact there'll be. Hopefully there will be with youth sports, and we're going to be forced into it. I think we're going to be better for it. We need to be more creative, you know, but as far as soccer goes, the world. I know, you know, I know that it's not going to be what it was before, but hopefully it could be better. And why not? So I think what we had before the craziness and we talked about traveling everywhere playing these games, we seem to have lost some meaning and lost a little bit of its soul. And I do think that you can get that back locally and not travel as much and get great competition and find other ways just to get Better in what you do. So I'm looking forward to that. There's a huge opportunity still for soccer to continue to grow on the both men's and women's side. We have important qualifications up ahead for the men's team. Obviously, the women's is one of the best in the world. So, you know, for us, we're looking forward to Gio's progress. It's a long way to go. I probably haven't said this yet. I've done a lot of articles, we've turned down a lot of interviews, and we're protecting him as well. But He's. He's just 17. We keep saying that. You know, I was a junior in high school. He's got an amazing future. He's got to keep working, keep his feet on the ground. But he's still 17 for another four or five months, he's just going to be 18. He's going to be 19. So these are kind of the breakthrough years. You know, he's not even in development years as a pro. He's just breaking through. And then you develop in your early 20s, you hit your peak from 25 to 30. And that's just the way it happens for players. So I understand, we understand this journey is about to go in, but I would say it's the same journey any kid goes in, right? It takes time to get better, you know, and certainly the one thing we didn't talk about, which I know she's big on, is nutrition, his sleep, taking care of his body. It's something that we valued more now. And we didn't have this education and information. We were younger, not because our parents didn't want to share it, but I think that's the other part of it that we didn't talk on much, but it's a big part of something that Danielle definitely led at home and educating Gio on sleep, on what he eats. And if you talk to Gio now, he's eating fruits and vegetables and fish. Those things, I would think, make us just as proud as parents and him scoring a goal. So again, I think the whole thing is so important. Soccer's a part of it. Moving to Europe is not just about his soccer career. It's a life decision for Gio and it's an amazing one to be in a different country and learn a different language. So we're just proud of what he's doing and looking forward to the next game, nevermind next year. Just, you know, hopefully he plays. Get some minutes again tomorrow and we'll. We'll be happy.

Yeah. And with this to speak about the social injustice, it all starts from home and we got to teach our kids early. Be kind to everyone, speak out for people who need your help and be fair. Be kind and actually maybe take that onto the soccer field and parents should behave that way too. Hopefully stuff starts to change now.

Sports is a great unifying thing and again going back and I think our kids need to get back on the field, on the court. Pro sports needs to kick up because it brings people together unlike anything else. And I think that's what this moment is teaching us as well, that there's far too many coaches not being able to coach kids being able to play, people being able to watch sports. And hopefully the sooner we get back to that and obviously for us, soccer the better.

So well said. That is a perfect ending. Danielle, your message of being kind says it all. I really appreciate that sentiment. Indeed, this has been an honor. I will tell people one more time that as great as Gio is going to be, there's no surprise because both of his parents two of the all time best. Claudio, you were spectacular. The best touch I've ever seen in person. Danielle, know about your success. I will tell you Danielle, because I was engaged, I went to the short concession stand so I got my hot dog right away. And I'll never forget that story. Danielle and Claudio Reyna, the power soccer couple, proud parents.

I thought it was because she wasn't charging anybody, she was giving them out.

It's an honor to be with both of you. That's Claudio and Danielle Reyna, both prominent American soccer players and the parents, the most exciting young soccer talent in the USG arena. If you like this show, one way you can support our work is to subscribe to this podcast on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen and leave us a rating and review as well. This show was edited and produced by Creative Allies. If you're looking for information on full service podcast production, head on over to creativeallies.com I'm Dean Linke for the legendary Anson Dorrance, the legendary Claudio Reyna, and the legendary Danielle Reyna. See you next time on the Vision of a Champion Podcast.

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