Approach Anxiety

Rejection is something you will experience while learning this skill. Meeting women, starting conversations, and building connections always involves risk. I'm not going to sugarcoat that. You will get rejected, and that's completely normal. I also want to make it clear that nobody is immune to rejection. I get a lot of successful interactions, yet rejection still happens on the regular. The key is how you respond to it. When I get rejected, I laugh, I move on, and reflect for a moment of what I can improve. Then I continue. That's the mindset you need to adopt. Rejection is simply part of the process of putting yourself out there. It means that you're taking the risks necessary to create opportunities. Remember, you're interacting with real people who have their own lives, moods, and circumstances. Sometimes a woman may have a boyfriend or to simply just not be open to having a conversation at that moment. That has nothing to do with your value or what you said to her. Even the most successful people don't succeed every time. Athletes miss shots, teams lose games, and in the skill set, rejection will always exist. The goal of this program is not to eliminate rejection completely. That's impossible. The goal is to reduce the randomness and increase your odds of success. And the important thing to understand is that one good interaction can completely change your dating life. One conversation can lead to a phone number, a date, a relationship, a marriage, or a connection that impacts your life in unexpected ways. That's why consistency matters. The more interactions you have, the more opportunities you create. And compared to dating apps or online messaging, in-person interactions are often far more effective. When someone meets you face-to-face, they experience your personality, energy, and the communication immediately. This gives you a major advantage with little to no competition, unlike the dating apps. So keep this perspective in mind moving forward. Rejection is normal, it's part of the process, and all it takes is one good interaction. So why do us men struggle so much with the fear of rejection, aka approach anxiety? It all comes down to our ancestors. You have to think about how small a community that they were a part of, basically a tribe. So if you were to get rejected by someone in your tribe, then it would reflect badly on you, and you might even get kicked out of your tribe. Depending on the rejection, which would mean a lack of resources. And possibly even death from a lack of support and resources. These instincts are very much so still within us. The only difference is that in the modern world, we are no longer reliant on a tribe or a group of people. If we get rejected by anybody, it's such a big world that barely anybody will even notice. Also, the strangers that so happen to see you flirt and get rejected will not care because they don't know you. I hope that gets through to you. Approach anxiety is going to scream at you that you shouldn't even try to talk to a woman because she might reject you. That's why the only way that you're going to combat that instinct within us is to simply do the action steps of opening and talking to a woman over and over again. And what will end up happening is as you do this action step more and more, your brain will tell yourself that it is okay to talk to the woman. Once you see that nothing bad is going to happen to you, You will gain more confidence. One of the things I do right after getting rejected is that I simply laugh about it, or I just think about what I could do better and then just move on. Don't beat yourself up. Allow yourself to fail and do some analyzing to try to get better, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you get rejected. If you keep taking that action, eventually a woman will be okay with giving you her number, and then you can go on a date with her. Hopefully this will put things in perspective for you, because if she rejects you, The beautiful thing about cold approaching is that unless they're a worker, you have less than a 1% chance of seeing that person again if you're seeing them in public. And you still have nothing to lose even if you did see them again. It's not a big deal. Because if you're single and you talk to a woman and she rejects you, you're still single. Nothing has changed. It's okay. Just take the action. Try to think about your goal. Let's say you're going to approach 10 women today. Just think about hitting that goal, and if you achieve that goal, whether all 10 of them reject you or not, It would be successful because you approached 10 women. Make the goal the success, not the outcome. When you have the goal in mind, that will help you combat your approach anxiety because you're stacking up the wins with the actions. Anxiety is going to say all types of negative things like, she might be taken, what are you doing, she looks like she's pissed off, so on and so on. Realize the pattern of what your approach anxiety tells you in those moments, and if you're conscious of it, then you realize that most of the time it's coming up with a bullshit reason to not talk to that hot girl. Just don't listen to it. You are in control. You call the shots. So the best way to go about this is to act regardless of feeling that uncomfortable feeling. The best way to not overthink it and not get a whole bunch of thoughts in your head is when you see that cute woman, immediately go up to her. Just beeline to her. Don't think about what you're going to say. I personally tell myself, feet first, mouth second. Feet first, mouth second. Because once you're in close proximity, Then that obligation to say something will be a little bit more apparent. I know that if you linger and you're thinking about what to say, or whatever the case may be, if you're hesitating, the window of opportunity will somewhat pass because a woman can sense when they're being looked at. So at first it's not a big deal, but if you're checking her out for a decent amount of time and you don't act and hesitate for a while, then yes, you can come across as creepy. So the best way to beat that is just to beeline to her, smile, show that you're a friendly, confident dude, And even though you might be freaking out on the inside, just try to send out good vibes, and that will take you very far. It reminds me of an old phrase in pickup that says, if you hesitate, you masturbate. It's a bit dated, but it has some truth to it. I really think this lesson is something that you should revisit if you're struggling with approach anxiety, because we all deal with approach anxiety in some way or form, or at certain times, and that's okay. Just remember that you can't outthink approach anxiety, but you can outwork it.