building comfort

Hey, and welcome back to another video. Today I want to talk about building comfort and why this is important, because it is very, very helpful for moving things along whenever you know how to do it. So what is building comfort? Building comfort is another way of saying building rapport with a woman. It's a way of connecting with her that makes her feel safe and at ease. We got to remember that we are bigger, we're more muscular than her, we're usually taller than The woman. And it's one of those things that if we're not careful, if we're too flirty and we don't create a safe space, then she might not feel comfortable even connecting with you. So it is good to build comfort and just get her used to you and who you are as a person, because she's trying to figure you out just like as much as you're trying to figure her out. And it's helpful to build that comfort to get things going on. The dangers of building comfort is that if you don't have it without the right checks and balances, You can go a little bit too much. So there's 2 meters that I want you to pay attention to. Meter number 1 is the comfort meter, right? So if you have comfort too high, and the meter number 2 is attraction, and you have that too low, then that's going to be friend zone. Okay, you don't want that. If you have it the other way around where the attraction meter is high and the comfort meter is low, then you have some situation where you're just like the rock star, the, the douchebag that's gonna leave her or whatever, and she might not feel comfortable. You know, getting your numbers. He might not feel comfortable going on a date with you. There's certain things. So it's great to balance that to where you build comfort and you build attraction. So keep in mind that when you're building comfort, you want attraction to also be up, you know what I'm saying? Because most guys are going to fall into 2 categories naturally. And something that I coach is always trying to balance what guys work on, because you're either going to be really good at building comfort in there, or you're going to be really good at building attraction. Okay, so we want to balance that out. If you're good at building attraction, then there needs to be moments where you build comfort. If you build comfort too much, then you've got to work on touching her, flirting with her, showing more intent to get that meter up there. Okay, so building comfort is really just a way to get her used to you. I tend to use things like my family or my background, things that I'm passionate about. Kind of a backstory, uh, and I'll go into a little— sometimes I go a little bit deep, you know what I'm saying? And I'll say some things that are not always like, you know, the most positive things, but I don't do it in a way that's like, oh, poor me, feel sorry for me. But it's like, hey, these things happen in my life. This is a family member that died that was dear to me, or something like that. And just kind of share like a little bit about my story. So it's one of those things that It's good to share. It's good to get that. And what that's going to do is when you're building comfort with her and you're vulnerable, she'll actually be vulnerable back. You know what I'm saying? The only thing that I will say as a rule of thumb, especially in the beginning, is try to keep the deep stuff to a minimum, especially if you're getting to know her and you're reading her vibes. She's giving like light, fun energy. Don't go super deep on something. You know what I'm saying? It's just going to kill the mood. It's going to not work in your favor. And if you're building too much comfort, again, without attraction, then you're just gonna land in the friend zone. You don't want that, right? So work on just balancing the two and just kind of get to know her. Share a little bit about yourself. I usually share one deep thing if I'm on a date or if I'm, you know, first time meeting her and we have just time to talk. I'll share usually one deep thing about me that she can understand my background, my struggle, or my success, and just kind of see how that goes from there. And when that happens and you share something about yourself like that, I promise you she will be more obligated to share something in return. And a lot of the times, if it's something that she feels like connects with your story, she will bring that up. Okay, and so you can bond over certain things. So, so for instance, like my, my mom passed away, you know, years ago, and that's, that's something that has always affected me. So when the gal's mom that I'm talking to passes, she'll bring that up, and that is something we always connect on. Every time, and it's there's nothing wrong with that. You know I'm saying again, you don't have to share something so tragic or something like that, but just something that builds comfort. You know, you it could be anything. It could be oh man, I really love dogs, and that's a big passion of mine. And I actually created a company that you know caters to dogs, or or I give to a charity that you know that that cares for dogs that have been abandoned or that are in shelters or whatever it is. It doesn't have to be this tragedy every time. Okay, it could be something positive. It could be something good, you know, it could be something that you're passionate about in a good way. You know, it could be that you're passionate about a sport that you play or anything, or that you play guitar or sing or anything like that. It could just work out. And to build comfort, just share something a little bit about yourself. That way it gives her an idea that you are a person that have interests outside of her, and it secretly demonstrates high value. So that's something that is very helpful. You gotta build comfort because if you just go attraction, it will backfire in your face. Either she's gonna have some buyer's remorse situation, or it's just gonna be one of those things that, you know, she's like not quite sure that she's ready for the next step. Because if you're all comfort, she might be like, oh, he's a nice guy, and then decide to put you in the friend zone 'cause she doesn't see you as a potential mate. But if you're just too touchy, you're too flirty, you're too intense without comfort, Then she's going to be like, man, this guy is a bit much, you know what I'm saying? And then when you go for the kiss or something like that, she might back away or reject it. So we want to balance it out. That way she's comfortable enough with you to go to the next thing. But again, I would like to see your comment on the, the section of which one do you do more of? Is it more comfort building or attraction building? Love to hear what you guys have to say. And if that is, we'll try to course correct and balance it out. And if you guys need help with that, DM me one-on-one, and I would love to work with you guys one-on-one if you guys want more further assistance. So that's all I have for this video. See you guys in the next.