Pacing your text

Hey, what's up guys? Coach John here. The thing about timing of texting is that it's important and it's also not important. It's really more in what you say than actually the timing of it, but it is good to know and it does help you. Just like with a lot of these techniques, Sometimes you could like mess up on a technique and it can like not be the end of the world, and there's other times where you might need that, you know. So it's helpful. I hope you guys enjoy this and it's gonna be a good one. But don't also take it like it has to be exactly this way every time. Texting tends to be a little bit more looser around things. It's more like soft rules than hard rules, but definitely check it out.

Now a lot of men ask, when should I text after getting the number? And there is no perfect answer for that, yet here's a general guideline. Text Text her soon enough that the interaction still feels fresh, yet not in a way that feels anxious or overeager. If you talk to her during the day, you can text her later that same day, or the next day if you talk to her at night. That usually works well. I always tend to put my first name in text right away, right in front of the girl. If the interaction was strong, texting her later that day can feel natural. The point is not to wait too long so that the momentum and attraction doesn't die. The first text does not need to be magical though. It just needs to reconnect the vibe and just restarting the interaction. Naturally, a great thing you can do is just use some callback humor. If you have teased the woman you're talking to, which you should have, then you can call back that tease. For example, let's say you called her a nerd because she's really into books. A callback to that could be, On Saturday, I need you to put whatever book you're reading down because I want to take you to that coffee shop I was telling you about. And don't give me plot twists about it, okay? So if you notice what I just said, it wasn't super funny or witty either, but it's relevant to the girl's experience if that's something that you teased her on in And that's gonna hit hard because of the relevance of the comment. This is relieving because you don't have to be super hilarious or smooth, but when done right, callback to the tease or just callback humor in general and remind her of that positive experience that you guys both shared when you were both in person together. So that's what makes it powerful when done right, and it's not hard once you get the hang of it. So to break it down simply, you can reference something you talked about, mention a joke from the interaction, bring up something playful, or just remind her of your vibe. You do not need a giant paragraph. Short and clear usually wins. The pacing of the text can matter. You do not want to text in a way that feels rushed, needy, overly available, robotic, or inconsistent to the point of confusion. A good rule of thumb is if you want to play it safe, just match how she's responding. If she is responding 10 to 20 minutes after you text her, then you can safely do the same. This is just a guideline, and the only way that you can mess this up is if she's responding in an hour or 2 after you text her and you're responding 5 minutes after she texts you. That could be screaming, I'm really available and I really like you, if done poorly. I try not to get caught up with timing too much, and I would suggest for you to do the same. The best remedy for this is really just have things going on in your life, and then when things slow down in your day, respond to her. That is going to be the best. The stuff I said earlier is for the overthinkers. You can even include what you're doing in that day. Like, let's say you texted her 3 hours after she texted you, but you can say, I just got a workout in. That shows that you're taking care of yourself, which displays high value. Again, just naturally do the things that you would do throughout the day so that way you could just have a better response. It's always good to mix it up, so if you happen to text her really quickly every now and then, just wait a little bit. The same goes the other way around. If you've been texting her after an hour or so, then text her quickly here and there. Naturally responding will always tend to work better than mechanically timing out your next response, so just keep that in mind. Do not feel the need to answer every text instantly, and do not feel like you need to create nonstop back and forth all day. That is where a lot of guys go wrong. Texting should feel easy, not like a full-time job. Do not get into the habit of texting her all the time, every day, all day. A lot of guys think that more texting equals more connection, but if you're trying to do so much connection in text, it does the opposite, and it just doesn't hit as hard as in person. Again, just push for the date and the availability to go on the date. That should be your main goal. Now let's talk about the day-to-day pacing of texting. Do not text her every day. I repeat, do not text her every day. Every woman has a tolerance of how much texting that she would like to have and would not like to have. And if you're just now starting to get to know her, you don't know what that tolerance is. So that being said, your first text should be trying to set the date. For whatever reason, she's busy throughout the week, then you can text her in the middle of the week and then just follow up. Closer towards the date. So for example, based on the timing of the date, I would text her the night before if the date is going to be during the day. If you're going to date her at night, then I would just text her a couple hours before the date starts. So a quick recap of the things that you want to text about is reconnecting, keeping the vibe going, setting up the date, and confirming logistics. That is much stronger than filling the silence, seeking reassurance, keeping her attention all day, and trying to prove yourself through text. Alright guys, that's all I have for this video. See you guys in the next.