Coach John Cordero explains push-pull: balance a compliment with a teasing remark to avoid seeming needy. "You're cute, but you're trouble" is the pattern. It keeps you off the pedestal, makes conversation interesting, and builds intrigue when it feels natural instead of scripted.
Hey, what's up guys? Welcome back to another video. It's Coach John here, and I just wanted to say that I want to talk about push-pull and what that looks like. So when you guys are displaying intent, that's actually a positive form of interest. You're giving her a positive spike. And so a way to balance that, because it could sound a bit too desperate if you just keep showing intent over and over again, And we balance that. And I talk about this, about teasing, and so that brings about the negative. But something that you can do that's kind of like in the middle ground, it's actually called push-pull. And what that is, is usually it's something where you're displaying intent. So you call her cute, but you can say, yeah, you're cute, but you're still trouble. You know what I'm saying? Or you still seem like you're up to something. You can say something along those lines. And that really Lessens the, the fact that you just said that she was cute. She still hears that, she still understands that you called her cute, but you also put in a remark that kind of lessens it away. And what that does is it takes away from that pedestal effect, or just the fact that you're like fanboying over her. And so it just comes from a place that's less needy, and it works super, super well in person or in text. I do it all the time. You could start in the negative or the positive, really doesn't matter. So you'd be like, it's like, yeah, no, I know you're a bad girl, but it's all right, you're still cute, you know what I'm saying? I'll give you a pass. You see, I started out with the negative and then I went from the positive, and I can do this over and over again. I usually don't like premeditate these push-pulls. They happen really naturally. The only thing is that my brain like will trigger it to where it's like, okay, like I just said something positive. Positive, and then I'll say something negative. Or I might say something negative, like, oh crap, I might have teased her too much, and then I give her a little bit of positivity. So things like that, I just try to balance it out. But let it come naturally from you. Let it come like from you in that sense. But it's super helpful because it does push the interaction along and it kind of gives a mix. And also it makes for interesting conversation because now you're saying more things naturally with the push-pull because the comment just becomes a little bit longer. But at the same time, you're able to like just introduce a little bit of like mysterious, fun conversation with it. So hope you guys enjoyed that. There's lots of ways to use it. So my challenge for you guys is after you're done with this video, try to use it in your next interactions and let me know how that works for you, whether that's in text or in person. But just let me know by the end of the week, hey, I did this and I said this and whatever, and just see what we can get from there. But Yep, that's all I got. See you guys in the next video.
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