JoJo Alonso: Pretty Privilege, Only Dating Men With Status & Wild Cheating Revenge Stories

I get it, women shouldn't get revenge on men when they cheat and go cheat back. Got it. But that's literally the only thing that makes men like listen or pay attention. I mean, I guess you can leave.

You gotta— I mean, men learn through pain.

I don't be wanting to leave. I don't want to leave. It's extreme as fuck if I got to move out this fucking house to prove a point to you. Like, you're going to move back? I don't want to do that.

It's doing too much.

That's doing too fucking much. So I'd rather be like All right, bet. To go moving forward, like, because I don't say anything, but with my ex, once we broke up and it was like completely done, me and him decided to write a letter to each other and to tell each other like how we felt about each other and the things that we've done that we've— that each other don't know about. And then we burned it afterwards.

Did you read his or no?

I read his. Yeah, he did some fucked up shit, but it wasn't as fucked up as mine. Why the fuck do men feel like chasing a woman is the right way to fucking go, right? Why the fuck do you think it is okay for you to chase women when we're actually like, good on you? That's very much so weird behavior.

Like, that shit hurts me sometimes, cuz it's like, this was such a good— like, you were a friend of mine, now we cross the line, now it's like I see you different.

Don't ever think any of your male friends are friends. They all want to smash.

I'm learning that now. They all want to fuck you.

Please don't think crossing the bound— like, they cannot wait for you to cross. Please do not think that you have male friends, because you don't. They will hike that skirt up and get behind that right there and take you, take you through there.

Let's hope not. This is Talk Less. Talk less, do more. You have a lot of work.

I work for the radio station. I'm not just a podcaster.

I know you work for like 5 hours a day, right? Yeah. That's crazy.

Yeah, at night.

What do you talk about?

Everything.

Like, is it just like a night show that goes on for 5 hours?

Well, yeah, and I just talk about— so like, I have certain segments that I like, like, you know, I have certain segments, but overall I talk about the news because it's radio, so it's like I really have to talk about things that people want to know.

Like political news?

I don't get into that political shit. But like local news or Drake and this fucking Iceman shit.

Yo!

Which was crazy.

Did you know that that was all predetermined?

Of course, duh!

He stole it from somebody.

Who?

So there is like some artist in the '60s who had this idea with ice blocks. And so he like cited that that's what I want to do. Like one time I think like he said something like for the release of the album, I want to do like the installation that has no meaning behind it. But it's still like something that's going to intrigue people.

So he didn't technically steal it.

He didn't steal it. No, he cited it. He was inspired. Yeah, he cited it. He said, that's what I want to do.

Oh, okay.

Okay. Okay. And so he did that.

Oh, okay.

Okay. Which was so cool because it's like, I mean, see, like, that's the thing for me in Russia, we have ice sculptures during the winter, so it's like a normal thing.

Okay.

I guess like Canada is also like—

probably. I was going to say probably there too. That's probably a thing too.

But not in April.

No, not in April for sure.

And then like they were— because— and then they— I mean, the hype was so big that ChatGPT was predicting how long it's gonna last.

For real?

Yeah, they said that like— they said that it's gonna melt like if nobody does anything to it, it's gonna melt within 7 to 11 days. Then like all the 7 to 11 days? Yeah, because the weather there— it's not hot in Toronto right now.

Yeah, but 7 to 11 days, I feel like that's not long enough. All that damn ice.

I think that's, that's other ones were saying 5 days for it to naturally melt with that weather.

Damn.

But it's a lot of fucking ice.

Yeah, I thought it would take like a month or something.

Oh no, no, no, no.

Because I'm like, it's not like Atlanta. If it was Atlanta, I'd be like, yeah, 7, 10 days, it's hot as fuck.

No, in Atlanta I think it would be one day.

Yeah, it's hot.

And then with all the Wayans, they would probably like take the blocks off and then like it would be like 15 minutes. We would have been—

Everybody would have had a block. You get a block, you get a block. Then they would start selling it on the block.

Yeah, they probably would have frozen it back and they're like, yeah, let's—

you want this Drake block, it's gonna be about 10 bands.

Drake touched it.

Yeah, no, that's a thing.

Atlanta is undefeated. Um, when'd you move to Atlanta?

7 years ago.

Why, girl?

Work. Like, I just Um, I was really running the hell away from Chicago, really. I didn't want to be there anymore.

What happened?

Like, just a whole bunch of just different— just, just Chicago just wasn't— I had a lot of shit going on. Like, out there it's a lot of trauma, and I just was ready to go. And it was nowhere for me to grow in my industry either.

You were doing the radio there too?

That's how I started.

Oh, but why Atlanta though? Like, why not New York or LA?

So my kid's father lived out here. Well, at the time he wasn't my kid's father, he was just a friend, my best friend actually. And he just was like, you should just come to Atlanta. And I'm like, you actually, you know what, I'm not mad at Atlanta because I went to school probably an hour and a half away from here. So I was used to Atlanta. So I'm like, okay, you know, I'll come. And then when I came He was like, you my girl now. And I was like, okay, okay.

It's that easy.

Yeah, I love him.

But you guys are not together. What happened?

It just didn't work. We just had different goals, like, in like further out.

Oh, that's the one that you were talking about that was not ambitious?

No, that was the love of my life, the first one.

The first one?

Yeah, the one that wasn't ambitious. He He was the love of my life.

Really?

Yeah.

How do you determine that?

He just made me feel different. He gave me a different feeling. He treated me different than any man I've ever been with. He put me on a different pedestal. He's for me.

Isn't it like the first ones are always going to be like the love of your life?

No, cuz he wasn't my first boyfriend. He was like my— I had a boyfriend since I was 5.

Shit.

Okay, I did.

Like first, like, like adult relationship?

My first adult relationship was in high school. I don't technically call that like adult, but that was like, you know, your high school sweetheart or whatever. Yeah, I would consider my first relationship for real for real was when I was a sophomore in high school. Hmm. I was dating this guy and he gave me my first heartbreak. I feel like that is when I need to consider like a boyfriend, when it was like my first heartbreak.

What did he do?

He fucking cheated on me. He had went to school, he had went to school, and he was a year older than me. And this motherfucker, he fucking cheated on me. And I found out because a guy that was trying to talk to me, he was trying to talk to me and he couldn't because I was like, oh, I'm in a relationship. And he was like, woohoo. And I told him, he was like, ain't no fucking way, because he talked to XYZ. I'm like, no the fuck he don't. Sure enough, he called the girl, put her on three-way. Like, it was a whole bunch of bullshit. And then he was lying, girl. He had—

wait, what? That's— are we recording? Yeah, we've been recording.

I figured.

Yeah, I figured.

Okay, so yeah, so what happened was— okay, now I can get a little bit more animated. So what happened was, is this fucking guy, he was playing basketball, and then he went to the school, and there was another guy that was trying to talk to me. I told him I was in a relationship with him.

He was like, nah.

And so, uh, when I found out, I called him. I went off on him. He's like, that's not true. Like, I don't know where he's getting this from, blah, blah, blah. So I'm like, okay. So then the girl called me and she starts sending me messages and was like, no, he— I know his schedule. This is blah, blah. He told me you were crazy. Like, he used to fuck with you. He don't fuck with you no more. And I'm like, what? So then he calls me. He was like, don't talk to her, she's lying. And then he's like, I'm gonna have to call you back because he had got in trouble because he was arguing on the phone with me. So he had got in trouble, like, by his parents, really, because they were like, you need to— like, you doing all this arguing on the phone, like, get off the phone type thing. So when I got off the phone with him, the girl called me. I answered, and she was like, oh, he calling me, I'm about to three-way you in. So she three-ways me in, and he's like, I just want you to know I love you, and I don't like this girl, she's crazy, my parents don't like her, like we would never be a thing, and I just was like— and he was like, is she on the phone? He was— she was like, why the fuck would she be on the phone? He was like, I don't know, I'm just tripping, I don't even know why y'all talking anyway, blah blah, I'll call you later. Got off the phone with her and they immediately called me after.

What the fuck? And that was like— he's like 17, 18, right?

Yeah. Fucking fucker. God, that hurt the fuck out of me. I, I cried for so long.

Did you know his parents though?

Yeah.

And they liked you?

No.

No? Okay.

No, that part was kind of true, but like the crazy part and all this, his parents didn't like me because he wasn't focused on the right shit. He was focused on me. Like he was still doing well in school and well in basketball, but they wanted him to be fully focused and like he had too much emotions when it came to me. You know what I mean? Like, so they just didn't like that. So they were like, We don't like her for you.

Hmm.

Well, look at me now.

Thriving. I feel like— I don't know, but I feel like those are the relationships that, like, set the tone for the rest of our lives because, like, that trauma is so fucking deep, you know?

Maybe because— yeah, I guess so. I guess you do kind of, like, take it with you because that's so—

I watched the— let me give the background to people. I watched that episode with Big Bank that you did, and I was so upset over— and like, I get it. I think that's just like he— and he said, I'm an entertain— I'm an entertainer, so I'm trying to give like good, you know, viewership for people, which is like, it makes sense. But the way that he approached everything, I was like, bruh, the— just what you like and what you believe in does not mean that I like that too, and where I'm going to agree with it. Or like, the way that's true, he was like trying to like push you to do certain things or like agree to certain things, and it's like, no, this is what I'm living. Like, this is what I went through. If I don't want a man to cheat on me, I don't want a man to cheat on me. Like, what the fuck is that hard to understand? Yeah.

And I think I think with him, he's— he, um, cuz Bank is Bank, he going to be Bank. And shout out to Bank, I love him down, uh, that's my dog. But I think it's more so of us females realizing how men are and like accepting the reality behind it. Because at the end of the day, men want to have sex with multiple women. Like, that's just the reality of it. And so with him, he like, listen, if this man is doing everything that you want him to do and the only thing he doing is going to go cheat and coming back home to you, like, like, girl, what? Because he gonna do that anyway regardless if you know or not. So it's just kind of like, you either gonna— you, you, you gotta pick your poison. You, you're not gonna get 100% out of a man. You're gonna get a man that's gonna— there's always gonna be a flaw. There's always gonna be something in that man that you're gonna be like, fuck, I had to settle. And that's just the reality of it. I— once I sat back and thought about it, I'm like, no, do I want a man that's gonna cheat on me? Absolutely the fuck not. But you got to figure out, like, what are your What are your boundaries? Like, are you going to deal with a man that's gonna cheat but he's gonna pay for all the bills and he's gonna cheat respectfully? That's your choice. Or are you gonna deal with a man who's not gonna cheat, he's gonna respect you, and he's— you gotta go half on the bills? Maybe not even half, you might have to take up most of the bills. You just gotta pick.

I feel like everybody's different, but I feel like it's going back to your, you know, your first relationship, your first heartbreak, that the cheating was the, the, the the most painful thing.

It was, it was. And even so, like, moving forward, like, within my next relationships, like, moving forward, um, in college I dated two guys. The first guy I dated, he was a cheater, um, and I cheated back, so we were both cheating.

I can tell you how I found out my man was cheating. It was just as crazy. What happened? So when I was 22— no, I was here in California. So I was 22. I just broke up. I guess he wasn't the love of my life, but my first boyfriend— we were together for 3 years. It was my first relationship. And mind you, I've been on my own since I was 14. So I don't really know how to do relationships. All I knew was you get in relationships, if you have sex, then potentially you're going to get married and have kids. That was my logical way of thinking of, like, okay, this is what usually happens. I didn't know nothing that there are so many stipulations. There are so many things about relationships, you need to learn.

Especially at 22, you don't really—

I was 19 when we got into a relationship. So 2020, so '22, the '21, '22, that's when we broke up and it was really tough. And so I was kind of like, I need to get over him. But I never really like had one night stands at the time where like I wasn't really like dating people. Like to me it was just like not something that I wanted to do. And then I met this one man and we had a really good conversation, found out he was 20 years older than me. He lived in LA, I lived in the Bay. And I was like, you know, maybe like he's an older man, maybe—

He was 40?

He was 42, I was 22. Yeah. So, and I was just like, you know what, I've always been around older people. Let me see like if this is gonna work. Girl, when I tell you this motherfucker had 4 girlfriends and I was the 4th one. And I was like the youngest one out of all of them. So he had one that was in LA, one that was in Orange County, one was in Portland, and one, me in the Bay Area. I don't know how the fuck he had time to manage all of it. But I remember like he called me and he was like, oh, I'm on the boat having fun. You know what it was? It was his dad's funeral. And I found out because this other girl, she was like, oh, like, I've seen you around. I just thought that, like, you guys were friends or whatever. And she's like, oh, I see he's got a type. Like, he likes tall girls. And I'm like, oh. And then, like, come to find out, like, she was pregnant from him. Like, she had miscarriage from him, whatever. Then there was another— I'm 6'2".

Fuck.

So there was another girl who, like, lived— she lived in Orange County next to him. This girl is, like, an exact copy of me. Like, blue eyes, blonde hair. And she was 35 at the time. So like that woman was like solely prepared to like be in a relationship with him, like have kids and all that. Like they were pre-planning to have children and all that shit. And I remember I was at his house and I saw like birth control, like, you know, the NuvaRing that whenever it just came out.

What?

Yeah. So I saw it. I was like, why the fuck do you have that? And he's like, oh, I don't know. Like probably like after a party, somebody left it here and I was like, fucking NuvaRing. I was like, this makes no motherfucking sense.

The one that you stick up your cooch?

Yeah. Yeah. I was like, why is it in your fridge? And he was just like, oh, like whatever excuse.

In his fridge? Yeah, it was still in the wrapper. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. But I was like, I don't— right, like it's just so random. And then I didn't know—

you believed him? Well, you was 22, girl.

I didn't know shit.

I was—

he was the one that showed me the streets, how to go. Nah, you know, I'm not like— okay, I'm— I, I will question things, but I will not go off. Like, I'm a very— when I fight with people, I get quiet. So it's kind of like the opposite. I'm not like this.

You're being like a woman in this situation.

Yeah, I'm just like, okay, I hear you, I hear you. I'm not going to go off, but I'm going to be like, I hear you.

I'm paying attention.

I'm paying attention. Yeah. So I'm like, I know what the fuck you're talking about. And I remember he— so he knew that I couldn't travel outside of the country. And he goes, well, I have— he's like, I have to— it's my birthday, so I'm going to go to Vegas. No, he said, I'm going to go to Mexico for my birthday. So I couldn't come with him. I'm like, bet. So back in the day, back in the day, Instagram had that, like, you know, the, the, um, it was that, that, that feed that, like, the search sign, like, remember, it was like kind of like whatever people are liking from your circle.

You could see who likes what. Yeah, like, remember how, like, this person liked this? Yeah, something that you—

but it would be like kind of like the, the, the, the, the, the For You— not For You page, but like the one where you— like, no, no, it wasn't the main feed, it was the other one, the notification. No, it was like the feed where you can like see all this, like, do kind of like where it proposes you different content that you can click on.

Oh, I don't know that.

Like, it was back in the day, it was like basically— so like if me and you like the same picture, it's gonna pop up on that one. Oh yeah, yeah, like the second one was like the notification thing. So basically I remember I was like, well shit, you know, if, um, you know, if, if I'm, you know, if I'm doing, you know, if I'm going, if I'm gonna be like just here waiting for you to, you know, go do your birthday. So like I got him a present, I, you know, he went to Mexico, Mexico. I go on my fucking Instagram on the day of his birthday and I see him in Vegas with a girl, like just literally on that shit. Like it just pops up there and I was like, wait, what? I click on the girl's profile. This girl has been in a relationship with this man for like a year and a half. Like just, I scroll all the way down deep, like Valentine's Day, they have like matching mugs and shit. Like they have all these things that are like they're doing together and I'm just like What the fuck? Like, this is crazy. And then I— so I love it.

To the real world.

Yeah, I started liking all her shit and I reached out to her and she didn't respond. So then I post a picture. So I've never ever in my fucking life posted a picture with a man before, like the men that I've dated on my social media. I posted a picture with him.

Why did you reach out to her?

Because now I'm like, now I'm like, am I tripping?

What did you say? So I said, I said like, this is important. Yeah, reaching out to girls That's dangerous as fuck.

No, I reached out and I sent screenshots and I sent the pictures of us and all of that.

So were you trying to basically like ruin her? No, her fun with them? Or were you trying to be like, hey, like, how do you know this guy? Because I've been dating him. Like, are you dating him?

Basically, that's what it was like. Yeah. And so she didn't respond. And then I sent her a picture and I was like, hey, like, we need to talk. And then she— so I post the picture, I tag her. Then she responds to me immediately. I sent her my phone number, we get on the phone, and I was like, girl, this is just— this feels like a puzzle and there's a lot of pieces that are missing here. So, and she— and so we start talking and like basically all the times that he wasn't picking up the phone or he was somewhere else, he was with her. Like, you know, I remember there was a weekend when he was like, oh, I'm going somewhere, I'm going camping. This motherfucker was at her parents' house in Texas, so he blocked my phone number so I couldn't reach him. Every time I would call him, he'd be like, oh yeah, there's no service. Yeah, I have no service here.

Oh, he was a real pimp.

So it was like 2018, my mind you, like, it was 2017, 2018.

Fucking pimp.

Yeah. So he, like, he game planned the whole thing. He— so he had the whole fucking management of all the girls that were with him. So, like, two of them broke up with him, was me and her left. And, um, and I said, you know what, I have this idea. I'm, I'm 22, I'm young. Like, I'm like, fuck it. Like, at this point, yeah, I'm hurt, but like, I want to get—

you want revenge?

I want revenge because I'm like, so you think you can play me like that?

Exactly. Watch this.

So I said, you know what, I'm about to fly down to L.A., we're going to go to his house. She's like, okay, I'm gonna pick you up from the airport. So she comes, picks me up from the airport.

Oh, y'all both walk.

Y'all both walk to the motherfucking house.

Oh yeah, I did like the— oh, you seen the movie The Other Woman? You seen that movie?

Probably. Yeah, that's basically what we did. We just walked to his house.

No, seriously, have you seen that movie?

I don't remember movies.

It got Cameron Diaz. Oh, you did say that. Cameron Diaz. Damn, I can't remember the name of another girl. Okay, watch that movie. We'll have a girls' day. We'll watch it.

Okay. Yeah, we'll do that. So basically we show up to his house. We— so I had a GoPro on me because I was like, I'm gonna record this shit. Like, I still have footage somewhere. So we knock on the door, he opens the door. First she knocks on the door, so he opens the door, he's like, hey babe. Then I walk behind her and he's like, oh, um, you guys, I'm in a work meeting right now, can you come back? This is the first thing that he says to us. He's like, can you guys come back, I'm in a work meeting? And I go, bitch. I was like, you know what, fine. I said, come on. She's like, no, no, no. I'm like Yeah, come on, we're gonna go, we're gonna come back in an hour. So we go grab a drink, um, where we were. I'm not gonna say no location. Then we go back to his house, he opens the door again, and we sit down, we have a conversation. And she goes, I know you're young. She told me, she's like, I know you're young, please don't cry. Like, you know, let's just handle this. And then like, you know, let's just ask him and see what the fuck. I'm just like, I— at this point, to me, it's just funny. I'm not even like emotional about this because I'm like, this, this, this motherfucker ain't shit. Like, he's just a loser at this point. This girl, she starts fucking crying, man. She starts like almost going down on on her knees. Like, she's going through— I mean, she's 35. Like, mind you, like, in her mind, this is the man that she wanted to have kids with. I literally had to drag her out of there because she lost her fucking mind. Like, you could tell that she was so hurt and upset. And I remember we went, like, downstairs, and she's like, let me slash his tires. So, like, we took the air out of his tires, and she was like, let me slash his tires. And she's like, this motherfucker ain't shit. So, like, when we posted his phone number all over social media, uploaded the video on YouTube. Like, we blasted him. We sent the video to all of his friends that we knew, to his sister, everybody.

And then he was like, that's some crazy shit.

Yeah. I mean, I was 22. I was just like— and then I remember he called me and he was like, I would still want you to be my girlfriend. I want to have kids with you. I want to marry you. I said, get the fuck out of my face. Don't ever call my motherfucking phone again. Hang up. Never heard from him again. Blocked him everywhere. Like, never ever seen him again. But I had to get into therapy after that. Like, intense therapy. 'Cause I was so like, I was, and I think to this day, like when somebody doesn't call me for like 2, 3 days, that shit bothers me. 'Cause I'm like, mm-mm.

Well, if you're in a relationship, like they should definitely call you 2, 3 days. If they don't call you in 2, 3 days, there's a fucking problem.

Right, like.

2, 3 days. You can't even go a day without talking to me 'cause I'll move on to the next nigga.

Girl, see, this is why I'm like, me and you are very similar with that. Like if you don't fucking call me.

You know how many people are calling me?

Yeah, like I— mm-hmm.

Yeah, how many DMs I get.

Tell me what you did. What was the craziest story? Because you said it was like your second boyfriend, how you found out about cheating.

Oh, that was crazy. So, okay, so I was dating him in, in college, and what happened was my best friend at the time was pillow talking with his teammate and told him that I was cheating on him. Now she over fucking did it because all the shit that she told him I was not fucking doing, like I was cheating, but the nigga cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend and got her pregnant. So I'm like, girl, what the fuck? So she ended up eventually saying like, oh, I feel bad for him, that's why I said something. Bitch, why the fuck you feel bad for him and he the one cheating on me and got another bitch pregnant?

Pillow talking like she was in his bed?

No, pillow talking with his teammate. Oh, so she was talking to his teammate, she told him what I was doing. And then he went and told his friend, my boyfriend at the time. This is— we was in college, I was running track. So one day I'm getting ready for practice, track practice, and I get a call from him and he's like, um, um, you might want to come over here. And I was like, oh, I'm getting ready for practice, I got practice. And he was like, I advise you to bring your ass over here right now. And I was like, fuck, like, what happened? Like, fuck. So I'm nervous, so I'm driving. So his apartment at the time is literally right next to the track. Like, I can walk to the track from there. Like, and so I'm like, okay, well, it's right there by the track, I'll just, you know, go now. So I get there and the nigga's sitting on the steps He's like shaking. He got a hoodie on, he's shaking. I walk up on him, I'm like, what's going on? So he stands up and he was like, so you're fucking cheating on me? And I'm like, what are you talking about? No, I was cheating like a motherfucker. Hell no, no, what are you talking about? He started name dropping, he started giving me times and shit. And then one of the dudes that I was cheating on him with, he was like cool with, so he had a gun on him. And so he pulls the gun out, and not on me, but he had pulled it out and be like, I swear to God, like, I will shoot these niggas. Like, you got me fucked up. Like, I will shoot these niggas. Like, smiling in my face, but like fucking with my girl. And one of the— he played basketball, so one of the football players came down and was like, hey, you know, put the gun away. Now this— I wasn't scared for my life. Like, I know him. Like, he wasn't gonna hurt me, right? Like, he was not gonna hurt me. But he was mad, he had it on him, and I'm like, okay. The guy put him in the— put him in the, um, the house. I went to practice. I'm like, fuck. So before I go to practice though, he start throwing my shit out the fucking— out the apartment. Like, he just start throwing my shit. He threw my fucking microwave through my fucking microwave. I was mad as fuck. And mind you, it's right here by the fucking track, so all my teammates are seeing this shit happen, him throwing my shit out. And I'm like having to pick this shit up. So I'm like, what the fuck? So I pick this shit up, put it in the cart. I go to practice, I'm stretching, I'm getting ready for practice. This nigga walks through the practice, you don't give a fuck. We're mid-stride, he don't give a damn. Mugged the fuck out of me, kept on moving. I'm like, oh my God. So that happens. So I'm immediately pissed. So I'm looking for the bitch, I'm looking for my ex-best friend. I'm trying to beat her ass. Literally, if y'all got the drop on shorty, let me know. Everybody knew, like, JoJo was looking for such and such, JoJo was looking for her, JoJo was looking for her. Like, oh, the bitch knew. She knew I was looking for her. So then, um, maybe like a few days later, the nigga brought his baby mama to campus. Now, I didn't know that he brought her to campus, but he brought her to campus.

But you knew that she was pregnant?

I did.

Okay, I did.

But he told me that it was like a one-time thing and it was a slip up.

It's a fucking kid.

But I had decided to still like fucking be with him after I found out that he had cheated on me and got another girl pregnant. I still was like, okay, whatever, fuck it, I'ma still be here, I love you. Like, I don't know, I was stupid. So then, um, but even actually before that happened, I told my mom about what happened and she called the dean. So I had a meeting with the dean, the, the, um, athletic director, the coach, and we all had to sit down. And they were like, um, mind you, he had like less of a semester to finish before he graduated. And they were just like, you know, we don't condone that type of behavior, um, we're going to expel him, he's not going to graduate. And I was like, well, I don't feel threatened. I was like, I don't feel threatened. Like, he, you know, let him finish. They're like, are you sure? And I'm like, yeah, like, let him finish, let him graduate. Like, and they were like, okay, well, we'll do that, but y'all can't have no type of, like, no type of, like, contact, contact at all, involvement, nothing. And if we do, both of y'all, if we see y'all, if we find out anything, both of you guys are gonna get expelled. So I'm like, bet, fuck that nigga anyway. So cool, moving forward. I found out that the girl, my ex-best friend, was at this party, at this house party. So I, I pulled up on the bitch and I did a stakeout. Literally, I sat there in my fucking car and it was right next to my ex's apartment. So I was, I was on a fucking stakeout waiting for that bitch to get the fuck out of that, get out of that fucking party. So she comes out the party, but she comes out with the nigga, the other, the nigga that she was pillow talking with, who was also a basketball player, big ass nigga. Man, as soon as I seen her, I didn't give a fuck. I saw red. I jumped out the car and I just went to attack her ass. And then the nigga kept like pushing me. I started fighting the nigga. Next thing you know, my ex comes out and he's trying to break the shit up. And we not even supposed to be around each other. He's like, you know, you're not even supposed to be around, you're not supposed to be over here. And then out comes the pregnant fucking baby mama.

How pregnant?

She was big.

Damn.

And so then she started yelling at me, oh, you just mad because it's XYZ baby, you just mad because it's XYZ baby. I'm like, bitch, fuck you. So that whole shit happened. Then we started sneaking around. I started picking him up. He used to like pull his seat all the way back and we would hide and I would pick him up. He'll come to my apartment and then we kind of just— and then like graduation came, me and him couldn't be around each other because me and his baby mama didn't get along and his baby mama came to his graduation. So I went to celebrate graduation with the nigga I cheated on him with. So then he finds that out. He finds that out because the girl, the girl that was fucking with the nigga I was fucking on, she was on track team. So she was mad as fuck that I was fucking with him because she was fucking with him. So she called my nigga to tell him that I was with him. So then I had to pull up on that bitch and fight her. Jesus. So I pulled up on her, beat her ass. And then fast forward, the nigga end up being my nigga, and I had a baby by him.

Oh, that's the baby daddy?

Yes, we went to college together and all that. Yes.

Damn.

But at the time, we was just— we was just hanging out.

Damn.

Yeah. And then fast forward, I moved to Atlanta, he's here, we was fucking, and I got pregnant. Well, I mean, clearly we were in a relationship though. For his, what, 6 years?

Is he a good dad?

Yeah, for sure.

Okay.

Yeah.

And then the second baby is from a different baby daddy?

No, the first— the— my first child is from a different guy.

Oh, okay.

She's 9.

She's 9.

That was after college, like, yeah, that was after college, like, coming into my career for real, for real. And then— but he was my, my kids' father. I said kids' father because he's like, he's the father for both of them, but He's been my best friend for 15 years, so he's always like, yeah, we, we had sex in college and all that, but we were friends. Like, we— I didn't give a fuck. Like, he knew I was gonna get picked up by a nigga. Like, I'm gonna go on a date. Like, I just got done fucking him, but we finna go on a date.

Wait, hold up. How is he okay with that?

Because me and him were just— we were friends who had sex.

How? I don't—

what's wrong with that? That's nothing.

I don't know.

That's a— that's definitely a thing. Don't think that you don't have—

like, you don't catch feelings for them, or something like doesn't happen.

Well, eventually me and him obviously caught feelings. We got relationship. But no, I can have sex and not have feelings for sure. You can't do that, girl.

I like—

so what is it that makes you catch feelings?

So I think for me it's like, it's the attachment that I get to them. So I don't know if it's feelings or I'm just attached, because like, soul tie, maybe, maybe it's like— I don't even know if it's a soul tie, whatever the fuck it is. That's why if I'm fucking with somebody, if I've fucked them more than twice, now, man, now like I can catch feelings like this.

But you have to be in control of of your emotions.

I do, but I'm very like— I was thinking about it, it's like I have so much trauma from just being on my own and like not having family around me that like I get so attached to those people that like I crave them. Like I just need them near me.

That's fair.

So, and if I don't have that, then I— and the thing is like, this is where I fuck up a lot of times because like some of those people, they just turn into like good friends afterwards, but I stop fucking them. Like I cannot have sex with them.

Yeah, I would say I would say just don't do it at all. Like, I, I never gave a fuck. And I honestly think that that's probably the trauma that came from my, um, because I, I think after him I became so cold to where I was a fucking menace. I didn't give a fuck about anything. I will, I will, bro, I did some fucked up shit. Like, I used to be very manipulative. I used to be very like like vengeful. Like, don't fuck me over, I'm a Capricorn. If you fuck me, oh, and then what makes it— I don't even know if it was— if it makes it worse, I won't even tell you like what happened. I'll just, every time I see you, I'll just like chuckle like, I know something you don't know. That's super fucking bad, but I used to be like that. But to go moving forward, like, because I don't say anything. But with my ex that I was telling you about that got the baby on me, once we broke up and it was like completely done, me and him decided to write a letter to each other and to tell each other like how we felt about each other and the things that we've done that we've— that each other don't know about. Oh, and then we burned it afterwards.

Oh my God, did you read his or no? I read his.

Yeah, he did some fucked up shit, but it wasn't as fucked up as mine. I did some fucked up shit on purpose. I made sure I slept with his teammate, like his friend. Like, I made sure of it, girl.

Listen, I'm petty too. That's the thing. That's why I cannot— this is why I think it's a protection mechanism, not for me, for other people. I don't want you to like— because I know how far I can go and how You know, obviously it's going to be all within legal parameters, but I can hurt you, hurt you.

Yeah.

And I'm not going to hurt you with like physical stuff. It's going to be more of like emotional because it's— men are very simple to manipulate. They're very sensitive. As much as they say they're not, they are. They're very fucking sensitive.

They're more sensitive than we are.

Way more sensitive than we are. So it's like, this is why it's this whole narrative of like, oh, a man can have multiple bitches, but a woman should have one. Well, okay. I mean, shit, it's because you want— you want to control all of this. But like the moment that because like I had that happen when I broke up with my boyfriend at the time. Like, it wasn't boyfriend, but somebody who I was dealing with. Like, we were together, but like not really defined as a man, and you know, whatever. Um, when we like, we had a fallout, we had a fight, and I'm like, okay, we're not together. So I went and I went back to somebody that I was fucking with, and I went and had sex with him. When he found out, this man was going through— I've never seen a man go through shit like that. Like, he was going back and forth, hell to paradise to hell. Like, and then he was just like, at first, I will never— I would never I'm gonna speak to you again. 20 minutes later, pull up to my house. I need to see you. I need to see you.

Yeah, because they don't want— they don't want to— the thing is with men, they don't want to lose what's theirs. Yeah, the ownership to another man. Like, to know that I lost you to another man, and please don't let the other man have more than you.

Oh yeah.

Oh my God, more stature, more money. That is gonna eat— that's gonna eat a nigga up. I'm talking about all the way. And it's like I get it, women shouldn't get revenge on men when they cheat and go cheat back. Got it. But that's literally the only thing that makes men like listen or pay attention. Like, they don't pay attention.

Like, you can—

you can— I mean, I guess you can leave.

You gotta— I mean, men learn through pain.

I don't be wanting to leave. I don't want to leave. Like, I gotta leave because you did some shit. Like, sometimes you just gotta learn your lesson, and learning your lesson is not like leaving. Because like, for instance, if I'm living with you, like, we're in a relationship and I found out you cheat, it's extreme as fuck if I gotta move out this fucking house to prove a point to you.

Like, you're gonna move back?

Yeah. Like, okay, you cheated, I'm mad as fuck that you did that shit, I don't want you to continue to do that, I'm gonna move out. I don't want to do that.

That's doing too much.

That's doing too fucking much. So I'd rather be like All right, bet.

Let me cheat back.

Let me cheat back, nigga.

I'll be right back. Hold up.

I will be right back.

Let me pull up my DMs.

That's the craziest shit, because sometimes, like, I think you can go on a date. Actually, you don't even have to have sex.

No, you don't have to have sex or accept a gift.

Oh, please don't accept a gift.

There's so many things you can do, like, without actually doing the low shit, like cheating and having sex, because at the same time, like, I don't need another body under my name.

Yeah, I'm good now that I'm older. Now that I'm older, I'm like, that shit is petty, and I don't want— I don't want to add another nigga on to my fucking body count. I'm just like, no. And not even adding another nigga to my body count, it's more like, nigga, you fucking wish you can fucking fuck me. Like, yeah, I want to get back at this nigga, but no.

Yeah, no, I'm just like, I'ma just go. Because I feel like it's, it's, you know, you got to focus on where— what you want out of this life. And it's like, man, why the fuck would I sit here and worry about you when I can go and make some money? You know, because then I can take myself on a trip or buy myself something and I won't be happy. Why the fuck am I gonna sit here and wait for you to make me happy when I can make myself happy?

Yeah, and that's important, that whole like making money on your own, having your own like going on. Because I could say that once I ended my relationship and I just focused strictly on my business, like not my job but my business, yeah, like I was so— and well, still, like, just so busy with, you know, I'm a mom, so just being a mom and my business. Yeah, I don't even have the energy to yearn for a man or to yearn for attention from a man or sex or any— like how I used to be. Now I'm so like, I gotta get to the money, I gotta get to the money, I gotta get some money. I've always been like that, but I'm also Hispanic, so I'm really big on like family, making the family work, like catering to a man and things like that. So that was like a really big priority for me. Like, having a man, having a husband, having a family, being in one household while still working— I tried it, it didn't fucking work. So now I'm like more so focused on the business part of my life, like JoJo's life, which is focus on the business, focus on the kids. Yeah. And I ain't been worried about a nigga.

I don't think you should.

I don't even have— like, I don't even have a nigga right now that I could— like, that I can call right now and be like, hey, Hey, let's go get dinner tonight, or do you want to get dinner? I don't even have—

I don't have that either. I don't have somebody that— but I've kind of like, I've moved on from those. I mean, listen, okay, if I really wanted to, I could find somebody. Yeah, like, that's not a problem, you know. I could— there's plenty that keep texting and calling and asking, but I just, I don't entertain that because I don't want to. Like, I want to make sure that I stay laser focused and get what I need because there's— I feel like there's still so much to learn apart from Like, I ain't got time to deal with none of the bullshit.

Mm-hmm.

I don't have time with you trying to play games. If I have to figure out where the fuck you are, you will never hear from me again.

Yeah, it's more so like the energy behind it. Mm-hmm. We don't have it. I don't have the energy to give.

I don't have it.

Like, to give— I don't have the energy to give a part of me to anybody right now either, because I'm so, like, locked in.

Well, especially having kids too. That's like, that's a whole, you know, you have literally two worlds that you have to fill up with different experiences, with love and all this stuff. So, and on top of their work and—

yeah, I don't have time. I literally don't have the energy at all. Like, I try sometimes. Like, sometimes I will try. Like, someone will reach out, I'll reach back, they'll reach out, I reach back, they reach out, ghost. And I'm like, damn, just like that, gone, came and went. Like And I don't really care. I tell people all the time though, like, if they try to get to get to know me or they want to get my number or something like that, I'll tell them straight up, hey, you know, I'm gonna waste your time. How are you gonna tell me what I got time for? I'm just telling you, like, you're gonna be trying to reach out, reach out, reach out, and I'm not gonna be available. Just not.

Yeah, I don't think they understand that because now it's like, oh, like, she's trying to make me chase her. Like, no, I'm not. Actually, I'm not. I'm telling you why you should not. Be trying because I don't want this.

You know what, let's talk about that actually, because why the fuck do men feel like chasing a woman is the right way to fucking go? If— do you know what chasing is? Like, what chasing is?

No, tell me.

Chasing is you running up behind someone who is running the fuck away, right? So why the fuck do you think it is okay for you to chase women when we're actually like Good on you. That's very much so weird behavior. Stop fucking chasing me. Oh, the men, they just love to chase. They just love to chase. You love to fucking harass because that's what you're doing. You're in my DMs every fucking day. You calling my phone, you texting me, you pulling up, whatever the fuck the case may be. Oh, it's just— it's the chase, it's the thrill. No, nigga, that's weird.

Stop chasing me, especially if I don't reciprocate. Like, don't even— you wasting your time. You're literally running the wheels up. I ain't got nothing to give you. Like, if I call you back, you know I'm you know, I'm cool with you. But if I don't call you back, if I don't ever call you, if I don't ever text you, if I don't ever like respond or interact with you, you're wasting your time.

They don't understand that though. They still gonna keep going because eventually you're gonna crack.

No, who the fuck?

I ain't gonna crack. I ain't got time to crack. There was a guy that I was— that was around. I ain't gonna say I was talking to, but he was around for like 12 years.

What?

I'll see him around. He'll send a text every, every so often here and there. I got out of a relationship, I was in a relationship, got out of a relationship, he still was around. Haha, hehe, how you doing? 12 years later, one day, boom, he was at the right place at the right time and we had sex. 12 years.

Did you go back after for the second one or no?

Yeah, it was good.

Okay, so you kept fucking him for a while?

We probably had sex maybe like 4 times total. Yeah, I don't know, like, and see, stories like this is why the niggas keep still being persistent.

Yeah, but that's the thing is like, this shit is like, that shit hurts me sometimes because it's like, this was such a good— like, you were a friend of mine, now we crossed the line. Now it's like, I see you different. I see them different.

Don't ever think any of your male friends are friends. They all want to—

I'm learning. I know they all want to fuck you.

Please don't think crossing the bound— like, they cannot wait for you to cross. Please do not think that you have male friends because you don't.

Oh no, I—

now I know they will fuck you.

Now I know.

Okay, they will hike that skirt up and get behind that shit right there and take you, take you through there.

Let's hope not. I've learned that. I've learned that, and I feel like I've been so oblivious with it because I think that's something about me where, like, I don't have ill intentions towards people. I believe what people tell me. I give benefit of doubt to everybody, and I've been like that since I was a kid.

Yeah. Are you going to stop doing that?

Listen, I have good discernment. I do.

But that's important.

I do. You know, I don't want to come off as like, oh, I'm going to just put a label on you just because of what I see or what I hear. You know, I like to experience things for my own just to say, okay, like, I like this or I don't like this. And then I can put the dots together, be like, okay, because like a lot of times, you know, people are— you are not me, I'm not you, so we all have different experiences. We're gonna go through life with our own approach, whatever. Like sometimes people, like girls, would be like, oh, what do I respond to the guy? I don't fucking know, because it's you. I can't be responding for you because then the man is going to talk to me, not you. Like, and that's how I see that. So if I experience something and I'm like, oh shit, yeah, like, I mean, I've been hurt a lot of times because I've benefit of doubt or whatever, or like I just want to go and figure out because I'm a curious person. But at the same time, I'm just like, shit, I don't believe that everything is so bad. I can't.

Well, I'm not saying believe everything is bad, but you do have to know what's going on. And I'm not saying that having male friends, like they all want to have sex with you, is a bad thing. It's just more so like I'm not saying that they're only talking to you to have sex with you, but just know.

Oh, if there's an opportunity, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, don't ever think— that's all I'm saying. Don't ever think that they— oh yeah, we're just friends. Yeah, fucking right.

My homegirl. Homegirl? You motherfucking homegirl. No. All right, let's do the intro and then we're gonna get into it because I have a lot more questions for you.

Okay.

All right, well, you guys, welcome back to Talk Less Show. I know we've been talking for like 3 hours now, but today I have my beautiful girl here. So we're very blessed today because the, the woman walking through the door is doing things in the city that people twice her age haven't figured out yet. She's on air at The Beat Atlanta Monday through Friday, 7 to midnight. So while you're winding down, she's just getting started. She interviews the biggest names in hip-hop. She has her own sports podcast, or I guess had And she co-hosts the Broken Play Show alongside Nav Green and Reggie Bulle, which means she's holding her own between two men talking sports and she's not letting them breathe. On top of all of that, she's a single mother. She was just honored at the Women Making History weekend here in Atlanta, and she does it all as a proud Afro-Latina who represents her culture every single time she opens her mouth. She's not a girl who waited for a seat at the table. She pulled up with her own chair, her own mic, and her own show. Please give it up and welcome to Talk Less Show, JoJo Alonso.

Woo! What a great intro. Hello, that is me. That is I.

That is all about you. Okay. Every guest that comes on the show, they always answer this one question. If there's one thing you can talk less about, what would it be? Maybe do more of.

People.

People.

Like, talk less of, like, people. When I say that, I mean stop caring so much about what other people got going on. It's so annoying. Stop worrying about what they're doing, how they making their money. Stop worrying about like where they working at.

Like, stop fucking worrying about it, or what they say and what they think, or how they live their life. None of your motherfucking business.

Yeah, it doesn't fucking matter. It has nothing to do with you. It doesn't pertain to you at all. And I had brought that up because there was a situation like I seen online. Um, there's this guy, his name is Big Big Groove, and he has this content that he goes to different restaurants and he eats food obnoxiously and he dances obnoxiously. That's what people think. And he's just this big Black guy, and so many people have so much to say about this man, and they came up with a whole fucking, um, boycott, a petition to boycott him from doing these things. And I'm like Why does it matter? Oh, he's, he's messing up people's, like, time when they're eating. He's interfering and interrupting. And I'm like, well, did he interrupt you?

Yeah.

Like, no. Okay, then leave this fucking man alone. Let him do what the fuck he want to do. Let people do what the fuck they want to do. Why do people— you sit here, you got a podcast, you talking to me. Somebody got something to say about it.

Oh, no, no, no. They got a lot to say about me. They got a lot to say about the fact that, like, the recent thing that's been going crazy is that I said I'm not going to date a man who does not have a status. That is—

oh, I'm glad you said that. I agreed with that.

That's my motherfucking preference. Why do you care about that? And why do you in the comments sitting there telling, oh, she looks like a man, she looks like White Chicks, her mouth is this, uh, her teeth are ugly, nobody would want to date her?

They're gonna say whatever the fuck they gonna say. Like, internet trolls are internet trolls. I usually don't get into it with them. I don't even read the comments. Um, I did the other day though because I had time, but overall Don't— I, I— come on, man, please. I've been doing this for 7 years. I've got dragged numerous of times off of like all types of shit. Like I did an interview and the interview was trash. I got dragged because of that and it was trash. I mean, it was my— it was up and coming. I was nervous as fuck. Like, hey, it is what it is.

It happens all the time.

I said what I said about certain things. They don't like that. Like, it's always— people are always going to have opinions on something. Fuck your opinion.

And I feel like you relate to me as far as like men who— I would not date somebody who doesn't have a status.

I'm sorry, it's just—

it is what it is. I'm not dating anyone without a status.

And the reason why I'm personally not gonna date someone without a status is because I have status myself.

Exactly. So it's like, you are working, you're doing all those things, so it's like your name carries weight. So yeah, why the fuck would you go with a regular Joe Schmo out here?

Honestly. And then even if I didn't have no— even if I didn't have no damn status, I'm dating a nigga with status.

So, and yeah, so like, I don't, I don't understand why it bothers people so much.

It's like, this is my soul because they're upset that they're not the people with status. And then you got these pick-me's out here that's like, oh, I'll take me a man without status as long as he loves me. I'll go half. Girl, fuck you. Go get your fucking 50/50 ass man, and that's your preference. That's not my fucking preference. That's not what the fuck I want. I want a nigga with status. He can have status though, and I still go half on the bills though. I don't— I ain't tripping about that. Like, I'm not tripping. But status is definitely a thing for me, which is I— when I seen— when I seen the clip, I kind of was like, damn. Like, I went to the comments and everybody was like frying you, but I was like, damn, I agree to this shit. Because call me shallow or whatever the fuck you want, but I've always been like that. And I even— I even told that to my mom. Like, I— I was like, damn, like, I— I feel shallow as fuck because like it's just something about a nigga with status that just gets me going.

Yeah, because it like— to me personally, Like, I know, I know I'm kind of new to the industry, right? But I also know that I want to go places. And if I walk in the room with a regular man, now I'm first of all losing opportunities. Let's be real. I'm losing opportunities because I have a man.

Damn, you losing opportunities by walking in a room with the wrong nigga?

With, with, if it's like some regular Joe Schmo?

You think so?

Because think about it, a lot of people like you because of the way you look, because of the way that, you know, it's, it's a lot more when you start out. Well, when you say a regular, like some teacher, some, some guy that you wouldn't—

I mean, but they don't even know who he is though, so what do you mean?

Exactly. But like, I'm just saying, like, if I'm like all over that guy, like, you know, holding hands with him, like, that's just, you know—

but if I want you—

this is, this is for me personally, but let's say like I walk in the room with a man who has status, now, man, I can get any fucking opportunity because he has respect. And now it's not really— it's, it's a lot more that I can get out of it because of where I'm trying to go.

Well, I'll say this Don't ever think you're gonna get more opportunities because of the man that you with. You're gonna get that.

No, no, no, no, I'm gonna get the opportunities regardless, but I'm just saying for the dating part.

But even like the dating part, like, I think that that more so— I get what you're saying, but I think that more so fits for men. I think as a woman, it, it kind of don't. If you already that girl like you that girl already, it don't matter who you talking to.

But I know women who have lost opportunities because they're in a relationship.

Relationship with— yeah, but any relationship.

In relationship.

Okay, okay, okay. You're saying— I get what you're saying. Okay, well, I'm sorry, it's the realest shit you can possibly talk about.

People don't talk about this.

I actually do understand that though, because If you— okay, if you are— and when you actually think about it, some relationships, even in the public eye, like relationships that were— had someone up here and someone down here, it didn't work.

It doesn't work.

And I don't know if that's because of whatever the, the workload or, or everyone in their business or whatever. Maybe someone that don't understand the business for real. But you're absolutely right. I see that happen all the time. I personally feel like it happens more with the man just because as a man, when you walk into a room with a woman and she has to look the part— oh, she got this going on, she looks the part— and all this other stuff, men will respect you so much more. Yeah, like they will respect you more just because like, oh damn, he get bad bitches, right?

Right.

Oh, that's my dog. Like, oh, let's, let's do X, Y, and Z. You know something. Let a nigga walk somewhere with a, with a bust-down-ass hoe.

But at the same time, they ain't gonna talk to them. No, they're not gonna talk to him. But that, that makes sense. And I think that's already been established. But like, as a woman who is in the industry, like sometimes, you know, sometimes the people that I need access to, sometimes I'm gonna find them on the dating app because they're single and they're gonna try to approach me. Obviously it's my job to turn this around from them trying to fuck me to them trying to do business with me. And it's me having to turn this professional side of me where I can have a conversation with them where like, oh, she knows what the fuck she'd be talking about, you know, versus just like, oh, she's a pretty girl. Like, looks will get you in the door. I don't, I don't doubt that.

Yeah, pretty privilege is a thing.

It's a, it's a thing. It's a thing. Pretty privilege is a thing. And I'm sure, like, you know, I've used it before.

And yeah, every pretty girl has used pretty privilege before. I've had pretty privilege go against me before one time though.

Well, that's what I was going to talk to you about. I want to ask you, like, how is that— how has that been your experience with pretty privilege? Yeah.

So pretty privilege for me hasn't gotten me— I would say hasn't gotten me a job because it— because I— when I moved to Atlanta from Chicago, it definitely got me a job doing bottle service. Now mind you, I was more than just a pretty face. Like, I've always been in customer service, I've always been a waitress, so I've always been really good at it. So I've took— I take care of my tables. Like, I wasn't one of the girls that just thought I looked good, came, didn't do no work. Like, no, I'm a worker.

Yeah.

And I was in there to make money and to network because I knew I was trying to do radio in Atlanta, even though I was still doing radio in Chicago. So like, in that aspect, it did help me. But getting into radio though, that didn't fucking help me. Like, the, the, um, lady that was— I had an interview with 3 people. And 2 of them gave me the go. The other one was like, fuck no. But I needed 3 yeses. And the reason why the other person said fuck no is she— because she said she's too pretty and pretty girls do not like to work. And ever since she said that shit, like, I promise you, like, that has to— I say that if you go back and look at any kind of interviews that I've talked about like this, I always bring that shit up because I always looked at it like like, what? You know what I'm saying? Like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, all I know is working hard. And even from like growing up— growing up, I kind of like thank God for blessing me, and like I appreciate it and all that, and I would love to stay pretty. But growing up, being attractive was not a good thing for me. Like, I never really knew I was attractive for real until maybe high school. But growing up, because I was short or I was pretty or I was light-skinned or I had curly hair, like, I got bullied to that shit. I don't care what nobody say. Oh well, um, this person got bullied or this person got bullied. I don't give a fuck about— I'm telling you what I experienced, what my life was like. And my life was like, I was pretty and I got bullied for this shit. So growing up, I never gave a fuck about a nigga saying, you're so beautiful, nigga. I don't give a fuck about me being beautiful. Thanks. So what? That's— and now what? Now what? Now we got past the looks. Now what?

Yeah, what happens now?

Exactly. But that's all it was. Oh, you're just pretty. Like, that shit always used to be a thing of like, it was always an issue for me growing up. So I never— it was never really a pretty privileged thing for me. Like, it was always like I had to work extra hard because people felt that like I was going to get other opportunities because I was pretty.

That's insane. I never knew that I was pretty until I moved to the US. I just like, I was not even— and I remember I was like, you tripping if you telling me I'm pretty. I'm like, I'm the ugliest fucking girl out there.

Well, I think— I ain't gonna say I was ugly. I never looked in— no, no, I bet you're ugly. Like, no, I ain't think that.

Oh no, I didn't know because I was like, I guess like it's called, I guess like bullying is the right word because I was always bullied for my height. I was called a horse, like that my body is a shape of a pear. Like back then, you know, because in Russia, oh, that was rude.

So, but yeah, but that's rude as fuck.

But like, but in Russia, like it, you know, here kids are mean, but there it's like times 10. Really? Yeah. It's very intense because like people are very straightforward. It's kind of like people from New York. They're very straightforward. Forward. They don't fuck around. Like, they're gonna tell you how it is. My mom always told me, well, I didn't want to lie to you and tell you that you're pretty because, like, you're not really the prettiest girl in the world. My own mother told me that my entire childhood. She was like, you're okay looking. Like, yeah, she— you ain't it. And I remember when I moved here, people were like, what, what do you mean? Like, blonde hair, blue eyes, like, you know, you're tall. And I was like, people always said that that was a bad thing because, like, I was way taller than many people. Like, many, many, many, many, many people. Like, my only family was the one that was, like, this high.

Well, you're still still taller.

I'm very— but still, it's like, it's, you know, you can find that, but you can find girls who are like, you know, 5'11", 6 feet. So like, here— and I never gave a fuck because it's like, I only know this height, so I love my height. But like, it was something that people were using against me. And so, and then I was just like, I was always trying to figure it out, what is it? But because I've always kind of been on my own, so I'm like, I don't give a fuck. Like, I would never be a groupie. Like, I don't know, shit, I'm gonna go wherever. You don't want me here, fuck it, I'm gonna go somewhere else. Like, I'll be fine on my own.

And I'm gonna be honest, like, what you're saying, it makes sense. And I say I never thought I was ugly, but I'm— I don't know, maybe I'm like getting back to where I used to be, like in college. Because I'm telling you, in college I was a fucking menace. I was a menace. And I don't think I was a menace because I, I felt like I was pretty and I can get away with I just felt like I can get a— get away with whatever the fuck I do anyway, regardless. But now, um, as a grown-ass woman, I'm realizing my beauty, and inside and out. Like, I've always had a personality, so like, I've always just— I've always had people gravitate to me because of my personality. I never really looked at it as like you know, a pretty thing. And just to go back to just me doing radio, the whole reason why I decided to do radio is 'cause I didn't want people to look at me. I wanted people to rock with me and fuck with me based off of what I say. Don't look at me. If you rock with me, it's because of what I said to you, and you either like it or you don't. And then look at me. Like, that's literally— I didn't wanna do television. I wanted people to look at the camera.

You still don't do it though, 'cause Nav was complaining. He's like, "Why don't you ever dress up when we film? Why you always show up like—" like, you know, you don't have like, you know, your, your fits on. You don't have your— I don't know if you wear makeup or not, but like you kind of like just, just, just show up. And he's like, man, if you were to pull up like this, you know how many views we would get?

Yeah, you know, and he wants to use me as a fucking sex symbol. And it's cool, but I'm— I gotta get into that. I'm not like, like this, like this right here is so dainty and it's just so like girl and female.

I was looking like a man the last two episodes. So were you— yeah, I was wearing a hat, a white t-shirt, and sweatpants. And then yesterday—

but there's nothing wrong with that. No, no, no, I'm still gonna be—

but you're just saying like, yeah, it changes very random sometimes. I'm like, I want to look like a girl, sometimes I want to look like— it's just like, it depends on my mood. Because like yesterday I had like jorts on and the freaking jersey, you know.

You know, for me though, my everyday look is dressing down. I I rarely wear heels. I don't like them. Um, I've been an athlete my whole life. I've been around like men my whole life— my cousins, my brothers. Um, like I've always played basketball, like I always was around the block, like I just always been around the guys. So I just have that demeanor almost to where like I'm a tomboy. I don't know if that's still a thing. It is a thing. So I just like to dress down. But if I dress up— yeah, I dress the fuck up when it's time. When it's time. It's just like—

no, I'm just saying, I don't wear makeup. And so I only wear makeup when I'm filming or when I go out. I, you know, if I have to go to like somebody else's podcast recording, I'll never fucking wear makeup. For what? Like, I don't have to be on camera. I'm just— I hate having all this on my face. Like, I want to touch my face. I don't— like, to me, it just feels heavy. So I don't really— but I understand, like, on camera it looks good. So I'm gonna keep wearing it.

Yeah, I don't ever care. That's my problem. But I do have certain goals within myself, and one of those goals are to just be more feminine. Um, I feel like, like, I was raised with a mom and a father and in a household and brothers and sisters, so I know certain roles. My mom was just very— my mom was also a tomboy. She was very strict with us. Um, she never really dressed up for real or anything like that. So I kind of— even my sisters, they're not really too girly girly. Yeah. Um, but my daughter, however, extremely girly, which is like, how in the fuck did that happen? But people are like, well, you know, like, now I go out a lot, you know, I do hostings. When I say I go out, I mean I go out to do hostings, work, and Um, you know, so I gotta put that shit on. I moderate panels, I host festivals, so sometimes I do got to put that shit on. So she sees that at least. Yeah. And baby, she got a little chill in her too, but overall, nails, hair, shoes, outfits, skirts, which is great because I do want her to be a young lady, like, not so much so like me, which is super tomboy, like hanging on the block. Like, I'm talking about to the point where I'm damn near— I'm thinking I'm a nigga.

See, I'm that way because I knew that I had to survive so much in my life. Like, as much as people think, like, oh, she got pretty privileged, whatever, she's pretty, she's white— if they knew how much I fucking work. Like, I'll give you an example. Yesterday I left my house at 9 in the morning, I got back at midnight, and I finished shooting at midnight. And I had to go get my hair done, then I had to go write the sponsorship proposal. I had to prepare a pitch deck, then I had to run a meeting, then I had to run to the studio, record the episode, then I had a photo shoot, then I had to go right, right, pick up my merch, then I had to go to the photo shoot, and then I had to go film on the tennis court at like 10 PM. Like, that's my day. So like, I work like a motherfucker, and I— and then I go to sleep for 5 hours, and I get up, prepare for the episodes, and it just keeps on going. Because like, at this point I have multiple businesses, but people think like, oh, she's pretty, she just— I'm like, no. And if I slow the fuck down I freak out.

Same. What's your sign? I'm a Leo. Ooh, I don't like Leos.

I don't know. See, the thing is, like, I feel like there's so— it's a lot more than just Leo, right? It's like a rising and all, huh?

I don't know if I met a Leo woman. I don't like Leo men though.

Leo men? Yeah, I don't— I wouldn't like—

but people say that about Capricorns. They be like, I don't like Capricorns.

Capricorns are very straightforward, and I— that's why I really like Capricorns, because they're just like, they're going to say it how it is, and I appreciate that. I like the honest honesty. You know, I don't care how, how, you know, obviously there's going to be a boundary that I'm going to tell you, hey, like, this is a boundary. And usually you can, you know, kind of like coexist with them because you can tell them and they're gonna, they're always going to keep it real with you.

Well, let me ask you this. How long have you had your podcast? Like a year and a half. A year and a half. How many sponsors do you have?

Girl, so Right now I have one. I'm about to sign another one on. So, but I go and hunt for them.

Like I was going to say, how did you get this?

How do you go and I go and do so I have the whole like right now I'm so I come from tech sales background. So tech sales, tech sales. So I've been in sales my entire life. And so when I sat down, I thought about it. I got to approach this like any other company I worked for. So now I'm selling my own brand. So I have a whole outreach sequence. I network, I, you know, now I figure out which brands I want to go after. I tailor the proposals for them. So like, I just had a call with MedSpa, so we're probably gonna, you know, do some work together. So like, I have to put the numbers together. Like, I understand that.

So you do all that on your own?

Everything myself. Okay. No, I, I do all of that, but at the same time, like, you know, because I've been on my own, because I don't have my parents here— I haven't seen my parents in 10 years— so like, I don't have a family around me. I don't have nothing. If shit goes south, it's me. It's me. It's me, and I would have to take care of everything. That's why I'm like, I cannot have kids until everything is set to the point where, you know, shit goes south, we good. We don't have to worry about that, just because I understand the responsibility. Like, I ain't trying to struggle even more. Like, it's just— it's pointless, and it's not— they don't deserve that. It's not fair.

What made you want to get a, um, a podcast? Like, the real reason?

It was the most random. I've always wanted to have a show. I've always wanted to do something that has nothing to do with being in the motherfucking corporate world. I hated it because I felt like I was put in a box. But also, that was the only way that I knew how to make money, because I knew that you'll have a base salary, you'll have commission, and you can run up the bag if you want to, if you work hard enough. Ran up the bag multiple times, but also lost a lot of money because I was tired. I was exhausted. I was burned out. And when I figured, like, oh, I'm a visionary. I like to strategize. I understand a lot more than than people understand in general. And it became a clash. Like, when corporate became a clash, they started saying that, like, oh, we're gonna— like, every time I would get a new job, they would threaten me to fire me because of the things that I would say. Like, okay, like, why don't we do this way? Why don't we do this way? And then, like, managers would be like, oh, you're trying to do my job?

And yeah, yeah, yeah, they, they always want to, like, confine you.

Yeah, they want to put you in a box, and you have to be a good employee.

That's why you should go out and do your own thing. I agree.

But I'm not a good employee. I'm a good— I'm a good manager. I'm a good boss. I know how to manage my own thing. I know how to manage my life. But I'm like, do— or now I have all this AI systems. I have people that I'm working with that, like, they're gonna do things for me.

Did you always want to, like, actually talk to people though? Like, you want to sit and just talk to people? Has that been a thing for you?

Um, yes. You know, I also have a degree in communication. And I never knew why the fuck am I going into communications? My reason to go into communications was because I hated math. I went to school in the UK. I was doing finance and economics. I had to study so much applied math. Like, I studied all levels of calculus within like a year, literally went all the way to the highest. And so I was like, I don't want to do none of that. I just want to do something that has to do with social studies. I could never write essays, so I could never figure that out.. And so for me, it was something that, like, it's a challenge. How do I do that? How do I have constructive conversations? How do I write in a proper manner? Like, how do I just, like, transform my thoughts that can be either on the paper or on camera? And so it was more of a challenge at first. And then my whole thing is, like, I love sitting down and having deep and spiritual conversations with people. And, like, once you do the podcast, like, you get out of the episode, you're like, damn, I feel like I just went through this experience.

Yeah, because I only was asking because like you were saying like your background and with like tech and all this other stuff, a lot of things that you're talking about, like people want to know that type of stuff. Yeah. So like you having a podcast about that, or I don't know, even a segment or whatever the case may be, people want to know about that.

They do want to know about tech.

And because I'm about to— as soon as these cameras go off, me and you about to chop it up because I'm like, how the fuck did you do XYZ? Because I've been doing this for— I've been doing radio for 7 years, like doing sponsors and all this, or getting a podcast, finding somebody to sponsor it and all that shit. That's difficult for me.

I will, I will tell you how it is. I will have a conversation. So I'm thinking of like doing this whole like membership program because the thing is for the podcast, people want to be entertained. People want to see something that like— they don't want to sit here and listen because they do, they do, but not really. Because when you talk about things that are more serious, they, they exit out.

I'm telling you right now, I work for— I work for iHeart.

Oh, the radio is different though.

No, no, no, we have a podcast department. Oh, so the iHeart podcast department, like the top, like podcasts are informative or crime. Yeah, crime, informative. Yeah, yeah. So like tech, girl, what people want to hear that you— and you, and you're pretty. Like, I can literally get on camera and talk about the hokey fucking pokey.

They're gonna watch it.

They're gonna fucking watch it. Yeah. Subscribe to learn how to do the hokey pokey 2.0. I'm gonna teach you the left and the right. Subscribe now. Motherfuckers are gonna subscribe. It doesn't fucking matter. Yeah, but I do say, I will, I will say though, that like, I mean, you have your niche, you know, you talking to people, but I'm just saying people do like that tech shit. You're pretty, you go and you— and you're giving gems. People want to know gems. Yeah, because I think they don't, is what I'm saying.

No, no, no. I know that they do. And usually, like, you know, you would see all this corporate, like, corporations that would have their little podcast. None of them do well. But I feel like if I can blend what I know about the media now and the knowledge that I have, I first want to try with mentorships. That's like, I think, because to me, I want to like, I like to do one-on-one. So I have like multiple people that are asking me like, how are you doing this? And I'm like, listen, if you're willing to learn, I'm going to teach you.

Mentor on the tech side, on the tech side, on the sales side. Yeah. Something that you need to start.

How to like monetize, how to optimize all those things, which.

Yeah, because I need to know that too, because I'm trying to figure out how in the fuck, because I'm trying to figure out how to get in this damn algorithm. And I'm looking, I'm like, and I'm like, is it the guests? Just like, I don't know if it's the guest. Do they, do they collab post?

Some do, some don't. Yeah.

And you still do great numbers.

I'm like, how the fuck? A year and a half? Yeah. But that's, that's why I said if I'm getting into this, I want to make sure that this is not just going to be like me shooting the shit. And there's been so many times when I said I don't think I want to do it. And then it's literally, it's been my production team, Rod, that's been like literally behind all of this. And he's always like, keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going.

Consistency is definitely important.

Yeah, like if it wasn't for him, I would not be doing this shit. Like literally, because I don't have a team, like it's always been me. So now I have a team that's helping with editing, with posting, because like now I said, okay, if I can outsource that, but I have full creative control. So like they have to— everything that goes out has to be approved. But now I don't have to sit and like spend so much time on like watching over stuff, you know, like I can be like, okay, I like this, I don't like this, like redo this. So like now it's It's a lot faster, and then we can pump out that content like crazy. So like, now I create this whole machine of, you know, how we do that. And the whole, like, the sponsorship side of it is me. Right. It's your background. What I've been doing for 10 years now.

I love to hear that.

That's very insightful. And when people are like, she's just— I'm like, shut the fuck up.

Yeah. They don't even know. They don't even fucking know. That's crazy. I didn't know. That's why I came here asking. I'm like, I'm going to fucking ask. One thing about me, I'mma keep it 100. I'mma fucking find out.

Good. That's, that's— I think that's, that's, that's another thing about me too, because like I'm so curious. So like everywhere I go, I'm like, oh, now I want to like, I want to know, I want to insert myself. And then, and I think that's, that's why it's always like that with men too. Like if I deal with somebody, I want to know why you are the way you are. Like, how is it? Like, I'm just such a curious fucking person.

Don't do too much, you're gonna run in there. You gonna run them off like, goddamn girl, shut the fuck up.

No, no, I ain't gonna run them off because it's like the moment they don't call me or like talk to me, I'm gonna— bye. But I'm just— I'm a nutcase. Like, I'm the worst, probably the worst fucking person to deal with because I'm so intense. And like, if you don't handle that intensity, then bye bye. Because what the fuck? Like, I got time for this. I agree, you know, I agree.

I'm trying to take it down. I'm trying to I can't help it. I can't help it. But if a man comes and just does it, I'm like, okay, cool, he did that and I didn't even know he did it. It— I think one of them biggest problems right now is that men aren't being men, or they just— or they honestly don't know how. They don't know how to be a man.

And I understand, like, from one side, as this whole Me Too movement that came out, you know, that like literally like dimmed a lot of men down because now they can't things that they used to do. Like what?

Like grab a girl's pussy?

No. Okay, that's a— that's an extreme. But like, for example, you said me too, but, but I'm just saying that like, so I, I had a conversation the other day with my neighbors and we're talking about, um, because I was telling them about the whole thing. I was like, can you explain to me, is this a cultural difference if my tire blows out on the side of the road, why a man would not help me out? And they go, oh, because if a man is going to pull up on the side of the road, he's going to kill you. He's gonna try to rape you. And I'm like, the R word, we gotta— he's gonna try to do that, he's gonna try to harass you. And I'm like, so why don't you think about the fact that he's just trying to solely help you because you're a woman who's on the side of the road? But like, their whole idea is that a man is going to try and hurt you. Well, and I'm not— I think even no excuses to nobody.

No, that makes sense. Um, I will definitely be cautious about someone trying to help me on the side of the road, which is why I always got that fa on me. But, but I'm not even saying like these random ass dudes. I'm talking about a man like that you're— that's, that's supposed to be courting you. These men don't even court you no more. They want to get courted.

Yeah, they're scared for their dollar. If I spend a fucking dollar, oh my God, she's taking my last dollar from me. Like, bitch, I don't give a fuck about your dollar.

But the thing is, is though, women out here are really fucking it up for us. Like, these women who are out here that, that are trying to drain these men for all of their money, their pennies, and all that shit— that shit is a— like, girl, relax. Like, you ain't got to say that shit up front. Like, you ain't got no finesse in you.

Like, goddamn, wait a little bit. I don't— I mean, I think it's fucked up on both ends, honestly. It's just, it It's fucked up. And it's like, sometimes, like, you have conversations and you're like, man, like, I don't even know if this person actually means it or not. And it's like, the fact that I even have to sit here and think about, like, are you being real or not? And like, now it takes way longer to even, like, get to know somebody because the layers have to come off. And it's like, it's too much.

I don't have time. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it.

The problem is that I do want to have kids at some point, you know? Maybe not in the next 2 years, but like, after that, I would love to have a man and have kids, but I'm just like, your best bet at this point is to accidentally have a fucking baby. Girl, I don't want to do that.

Like, I honestly— like, that is some badass advice. But I have like a homegirl who, same thing, like, she's getting older, she wants to have children, but the niggas is just not it. And I'm like, girl, you gonna get to a certain point to where them eggs ain't gonna crack. Sperm bank. Like, sperm— but then you're going to like— that shit is— this is— we not trying to do that. No, we need to have a kid. We want to have kids in the normal way. We want sperm bank by a random nigga.

Like, you get to select, I guess. It's like, you know, yeah, no thanks.

If that's the case, then I'm gonna go to the club and I'm gonna go to Magic and I'll be like, what's, uh, him, let's fuck tonight. Like, it's the same fucking thing.

I mean, yeah, fucking thing, whichever it is. It could be Magic City Sperm Bank, it could be— that's what I'm saying.

Regardless, you're gonna be a single mom. Hell, goddamn it. Probably. Hopefully that man shows up the way he's supposed to show up. And I'll take that back, I ain't gonna say that because I like— lately I've seen a lot of stepping up and doing, like, doing the right thing for their kids and being in their children's lives. So, like, I, I was joking about that. Like, I do see a lot of men nowadays that's, like, way more involved in their children's life than it was, like, back in the day. Yeah, granted, my daughter's father is still out there doing whatever the fuck, but besides him, I see a lot of men out here that are, like, you know, in their kids' life. But do you want more? So if you would ask me this last week, I would have said yeah.

What happened since last week? I just—

I don't know if I want— basically like what we're talking about, like the guys out here aren't— it's just no. Like, I don't wanna— my first two kids, the first— my daughter, love her. Mistake though. Fucking— I didn't mean to have a kid at that time. Like, fuck. But had her, love her, love her down. My son, not really planned, but was in a relationship, was planning to get married, was planning to do all this other stuff. Didn't work out. So now I'm a single mom with two fucking kids. So now I'm like, third time a charm? No, fuck that. And I really wanted four. Okay. I wanted 4 total, but—

Maybe it's gonna be twins the third time.

I'm cool with that. And then sew my shit, snip, burn it all. Take it out. No. 'Cause I'm a— I will look you dead in your eyes and tell you to, you know— That's how I got pregnant twice, telling the man to do it. And I'm, like, big on that. So take this shit out of me. Because I turned into a total fucking another person. But also, like, I've been in the gym, like, hard. I see.

Yeah, you posting every day. Yeah, I'm in the gym hard. I gotta pull up there. I gotta check the gym out because I just switched the gym that I had— some shit happened, so I'm like switching the gyms, and now I'm kind of like, eh.

I'm in the gym faithfully, and I'm like, right now, like, as of last week, I've started to like eat the right things. And now I'm like really into it, and I never thought I would be like into it, into it. But I hope I don't turn into like a gym junkie and be like doing too much. I really hope I don't. But now I'm like, I don't want to fucking get a mess of my fucking body. And I'm a, I'm an advocate on not getting surgery. Oh no. Yeah, like me personally, if you got it, cool, that's your preference. But me, like I just want to continue to be who I am. I don't want to have any surgery to enhance or take away or anything like that. And I'd be feeling like, damn, I'm gonna have to, like, because I got excess skin and like I got stretch marks and shit, and I fucking hate it.

I mean, it's a part of the body.

I know, but I hate it so bad.

I get it. But it's like, I always say like, you gotta love me for me, not for my boobs or for my ass or for whatever the fuck. Like, because that's talking about loving me for me.

Fuck another nigga loving me. He gonna love me regardless.

What you gonna do with it? You wanna— you wanna do surgery? No. You wanna— you just wanna keep—

I wanna keep going to the gym and hopefully it like goes away. And if it does, I'm not having another kid because I just know how hard it is. I had 2 C-sections, so they had to like cut my abdomen. So it's never been hard for me to like work on my abs ever in my entire life, but after them kids— yeah. And it says usually like it takes 2 to 4 years, like, before it really, like, heals for real, for real, like, total.

And they complain about fucking $2 spending for dinner. I'm trying to tell you, trying to tell you.

So, like, yeah, I did, I did want some, but I don't think I— I think I'm okay. I have a, I have a boy and a girl, so I think I'll be okay. The only thing is, is I don't want the— I don't want to have another kid, but I want to be pregnant again. Interesting. Yeah, like pregnancy was cool. I didn't really get to— like, it wasn't what I wanted it to be because I want my man to be like hands and— I'm talking about whatever I want, go get it. Rub my feet, read to the kid in my belly, rub my back, my back hurt, massage.

Like, you want the full, like, the full thing.

I didn't get that. Neither time. See that?

And I think that's, um, like, I understand nothing is going to be perfect. I get it, I get it. But the only thing is, like, I like to treat people the way I want to be treated, you know? Like, I just— and if that's something that I'm doing for you, and then, like, we're at the point where we're gonna have a kid, then, like, fuck, this is your only time to give it back to me, okay? I don't ask for shit, okay? I don't, because It don't be working like that though.

Like, men, sometimes they be thinking that we be overexaggerating. Like, oh, you're just doing the most. Do you not understand what happens to your fucking body when you're carrying a fucking baby? Like, what are you not understanding? Like, there's a whole human— like, it's crazy. You never experienced it, but if you— like, when you experience it and you just watch your body grow day to day and you feel feel something inside of you, like kicking and breathing and beating and all this shit. It's like, do you not think that it don't fuck with— it's gonna fuck with everything. Like, yeah, my hormones, my emotions, like my, my appetite. Like, things are going to change. Men don't just— they don't be willing. They just like, they don't give a fuck because they don't feel it. They don't go through it. I feel like a lot of times men are never going to understand where we come from if they don't experience it.

Well, now they just started this, uh, the period pain, the stimulator thing, and now how they're screaming when they get the cramps.

But that ain't doing shit. They still don't give a fuck. Yeah, exactly.

But I'm just saying that, like, okay, now you got to experience this. Like, I can only imagine the fucking pain from childbirth. Like, I can only imagine. And it's just— it's not just like the actual giving birth, but it's the entire process of it. Like, just— and, you know, I'm— I've never been pregnant. I'm already kind of like emotional. I try to, like— I don't really try express too much in front of men, just because I know you don't give a fuck. Like, regardless how much you care for me, you don't give a fuck. Like, let's just be for real, okay? I can go through those emotions, and after I felt through them, then I can tell you. But like, I will never let you see me in the moment of having like an emotional breakdown. I don't give a fuck how close you are to me. You— nobody's gonna see this shit. I like— I—

that might be like a little trauma though too.

It is a trauma thing, and I'm not— I'm not— because it's like now I'm vulnerable.

Yeah, yeah, I'm the same way. I don't— I don't show my emotion in front of anyone. And it's funny— it's not really funny, but I was talking to my daughter maybe a couple weeks ago, and, um, she had mentioned it. She was like— she was crying about something, and what she does is if there's like people around and she feels like she's about to cry, she walks off. Off. Good. And she'll go in like a room or closet or bathroom or something, and she'll cry, and then she'll get herself together, and then she'll walk out. And then I'll pay attention to that because I'm like, I don't know if that's really like a healthy thing, because, you know, crying is normal, you know, don't be embarrassed about it, you know what I mean? But then I think about it and I'm like, damn, has she ever— I've cried numerous of times. I've cried so many times. I've been hurt. I've been betrayed, like I've been mad, I've cried numerous of times. And we were in the car one day, we were talking about something, I can't remember, and she was just like, Mom, why don't you ever cry? And I'm like, what? I cry? She's like, you do? Because I've never seen you cry.

So you do the same thing as what she's doing?

Yeah, exactly. She never— but she's never seen me cry, so I guess she's like, oh. Oh, let me not cry in front of these people. But I don't think that's a healthy thing. I think that it's healthy to show your emotions. I think that that's something that we need to normalize, which is expressing yourself and not letting people make you feel like your feelings are invalid. Yeah, no, for sure.

But I feel like that's something that I struggle with to the point where it's like, I don't want to burden you with my shit. And I've always been kind of like this person, but—

I like that.

But I feel like I want to be there for people. Like, whenever I feel like I'm about to fucking burst in tears and I'm just losing it, all I would want is a hug. All you want is just fucking hug me. I don't want no Chanel bags. I don't want your motherfucking money. I don't want no stuff. Just give me a motherfucking hug. That's all I want. And I remember my mom told me when— because I used to have panic attacks as a kid. She said the only way we could calm you down was to drop drop a bucket of ice cold water on top of your head. And I said, what kind of fucking torture is that for a kid who's 7 years old? What, I'm crying? To stop me from crying, you're gonna drop a fucking ice cold bucket of water on my head?

Did you stop crying?

No, I would like— I would pass out. I would pass out because I guess like I'll get like a shock from the cold and I'll just pass out and I'll like fall asleep. But I'm like, y'all are like— this is, this is like literally the definition of fucking torture. And she's like, well, I tried. And I'm like, Mom, you're not an affectionate person. You never tried to give me a hug. Like, she told me that she loves me when it was 2020. When she told me she loves me, I was 26 years old when she told me she loves me for the first time. For the first time in my fucking life. And I like— because now she's in therapy, and so like, we talk a lot about that because I'm just like, this is why I crave so much attention and affection from a man, because I was never given that as a kid. Like, I was a second born, but I wasn't like the loved kid, you know? Like, it was always my brother who was— I've taught myself to read and write. Like, I've— and, you know, it kind of tracks that I left when I was 14 because it's like, y'all didn't give a fuck about me anyways. Like, you gave a fuck in your own way, but like, still, for me, it was easier to just go and do my own thing because like I could build my own family. I could like— family as far as like friends, or like I could create my own world. Build your own. Yeah. Yeah, support. I didn't have to wait. And now, obviously, now it's like, well, I don't hold grudges against my parents because they only knew what the fuck they knew. They were young. They were in Russia and all of that. But it's just like emotions, it was not a thing. I was not allowed to do that. And then I got into therapy, and I remember my therapist made me watch this movie, this Disney movie about emotions.

Elementals? No, no, no, no, no.

Inside Out. Inside Out. Girl, I was crying my ass off. I was crying my ass off.

I was like, now she made you watch Inside Out.

She— because she was like, watch the second one too. Um, yes, I watched both of them. So because— but she was like, you need to understand that every emotion is a normal human expression. I cried on that too. And not, not one man, not one woman, nobody can tell you nothing about that. Because when you're mad, you're mad. You need to express your shit, otherwise you're gonna hold it in and you're gonna go crazy. Bottom roll it up, roll it up. And that's what happens. You get burnt out, you get depressed, you get like— there's so many mental health issues that happen from that. And so like when I was like, man, but still like to me it's, it's very hard to express like, oh, like I'm sad. Like I ain't going to call nobody when I'm sad.

I feel that. I, I don't really— I don't— I'm the same way. Yeah. Um, I let it out though, but I don't let it out to other people. Same, same thing. Like I don't want to be a burden. I don't like asking people people for anything. I don't like people to feel like that they like— or that I owe them something, or that they're doing me a favor. Like, I don't like any of that shit. And I don't know why it's like that, like why I'm like that, because I had a very like— my family, loving family, wasn't really affectionate. Um, they did tell me they love me though, but they really more so showed their love by, you know, providing, making sure I had everything I needed. Teaching me the ins and outs of, of, of just the world and things like that. Like, always there, always was supporting, like, supportive of anything I had going on. Like, always was there. But the affectionate part, like the hugs and the kisses and the, you know, that kind of thing, I never really had. And then also, like, um, I don't know, I just been always just so tough. So crying was like a weakness.

Yeah, because you can't—

like, I've— yeah, Crying is like, you mean cry, you know what I mean? And granted, anytime we lost, I cried. I cried every time, girl.

I had the whole, like, even to this day, like, when I lose, I hate that shit. I hate losing. I just— I'm not going to leave until I'm, I'mma win, or like, I'mma make the ball in or something.

And then I— and then most of the time also, like, I don't mind crying if I'm crying, if I'm, if I'm mad. Yeah, like, if I'm mad, I'm like like I'm crying because I'm mad, I'm upset. But if I'm like hurt or sad, something like— I feel like mad and sad are two different emotions. Mad is you're fucking mad, so you're crying because you're pissed. And then sad is like a weakness almost.

It's not a weakness, it's just like you— but that's how I feel. Yeah, you're disappointed.

So that's why like if I'm sad, I would never I just don't— I wouldn't cry in front of people. Like, even, even like at funerals. Like, at funerals, I'll— it'll be hard for me to, you know, I'll cry, but it's still like kind of like hold yourself together.

Yeah, yeah. Like tough girls don't cry.

It's so like crazy. I don't even know why the fuck I feel like that or why I even think like that. I don't know.

I, I just I just know that like I had a friend who I kind of like showed her that side of me because she was like— because like people when they meet me, they're like, oh, she's a boss bitch, like she don't give a fuck. Like, and I think that's why men think they can fuck with me because like they think like, oh, we can hurt her. Like, no, motherfucker, you hurt me, you just don't see it. And when I'm hurt, like it's gonna be a whole different side of me, which is like— and I, I'm not gonna revenge at you, I'ma just keep fucking leveling up in my life, like whether with you or without you, I don't give a shit. Like, you know, you're just irrelevant at this want, and I'll lose respect for you. So that's— and I think that's worse than anything. But, like, I remember how I showed her that side of me, and then, like, we had a fallout, and she used all of that shit against me. All of it. And that was, like, the most disappointing, the most painful thing in the world. And that's why I'm like, ooh, no. Yep. Can't— I ain't gonna let no bitch see me cry. No man see me cry. No. My dog knows that I cry. My cat knows that I cry. My mom knows that I cry. My grandma sometimes, like, I have to be careful with her because she's very emotional. So like, I got to be very like— but my mom, like, if like, if I'm having a panic attack or something, like, I'll call my mom. Like, that's the only person I can call and she will like talk me through it or like she'd be like, just breathe or like do this. But like, I— it's just recent that I would like call my mom whenever I'm crying.

Yeah, I just recently like kind of got out of that whole panic attack, anxiety, emotional ass shit. I feel like it was the man that I was with that had me like that though.

Yeah, whenever like you get anxiety because of a man, oh boy, no, I don't want to feel like that. Like, I'm already— that's why I'm super good right now.

Like, I feel so good, I don't even want— I'm so good, I'm such— I'm such at peace. Like, I feel so good. Like, I don't— just keep that shit over there. Yeah, because if you don't come and make my life easier then don't fucking come. Preach. Pause. But like, if you don't— if you're not gonna make this shit easier, just stay where the hell you at. If you're not gonna help me, if you're not gonna elevate me, if you're not gonna pour into me like I'm gonna pour into you, stay where the fuck you at. I don't want you over here. Like, you should be coming in— like, if you want to come in and you want to be my man, you should literally come in figuring out how the fuck to make her life easier.

And I'll do the same.

I'll do the same. Yeah, but that's off rip. Don't come into my fucking life trying to make me rearrange my schedule to, to so I could come out to fucking Puttshack, nigga. No, fuck. Figure out how the fuck I'm gonna get these sponsorships for these different events I have going on with, like, I have a Mother's Day event coming on. How about you give me sponsorship for that? How about you come and help me with the event? Volunteer, nigga.

Or like, help me hire somebody who, you know, who is going to be beneficial to me.

Put me right in the right direction of who I need to talk to, who's going to give me the right advice on what I asked you about. You don't know, but you know somebody who does. Do that shit.

Yeah, but they want to come because they see the pretty picture, they see the idea of you, but it's like, you don't know what the fuck goes behind all of that. Like, all I want is is for you to— if you're gonna come into my life, I've already been doing this on my own, so what the fuck are you adding apart from your money, status? Like, okay, like, we can remove all of that, but if there's nothing else that you're adding— because you can have money and status and you can be stuck up. I don't need that shit either.

I don't either. I make my own bread.

Yeah, like, I'm good. Like, I don't need you.

I always say that I'm gonna marry— like, people be like, oh, marry for money, and marry, you can grow to love. I'm gonna have my own fucking money. I got my own money now. Yeah, like, it's not— but I mean, like, I'm gonna have that shit. So it's just so easy for men to really be like, I'm rich, what's up girl?

Whichever girl is gonna look up to you and be like, oh my God, oh my God, he's rich, oh my God, he got money, suck his dick.

I don't give a fuck about that. Like, I'm gonna abuse you just like you use me. Oh, you got money? Oh, you talking to me because of what? Because you trying to do X, Y, and Z? Okay, well guess what, I'm I'm gonna ring you for everything you fucking got.

Yeah, come on now, what the fuck? Might as well. I mean, the fuck, like, are you trying to be on that?

If you're trying to be on that, like, come on, let's just be on that. But if you're trying to really do something, then okay, let's fucking do it. But like, when I moved to Atlanta, a lot of men approached me on some money shit. I fucking hate that shit. Now granted, I love a nigga with money.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

Please have money when you come to approach me. Yeah, but don't approach me on some like, man, let me, let me take you out of here, girl. Let me, let me, let me— nigga, no. Like, no, I'm not fucking doing that. And I will say this too though, a lot of these men that we were talking about with the stature and shit, these niggas want you to not do shit but cater to them. I've had more than 5 men that I was talking to, a few of them millionaire plus. I hope, I hope. They want me to quit my job and move in.

How many millions are we talking?

Damn near billion.

Oh, oh, well, I mean, shit, I don't call it a job. But hey, it's a hobby. I mean, Maybe what?

I'm so— so I've had a few friends, like, I've been hit with a couple proposals, and I've had a few friends that kind of like cussed me clean the fuck out. I was trying to figure out why the fuck you didn't do that. Because number one, I got two kids. So like, if I was by myself, I probably could try to finesse the shit and figure it out, but That controlling shit. Niggas be trying to control you. I don't like that. I don't like to be controlled. I don't like to be put into a box. I don't like to be controlled. I'm not doing that. And I don't care. And, and you're not gonna dangle no money over my fucking head. Fuck you. No, so fuck you and your money, nigga.

How about that? Because there's another man with money. And like people say, like, oh, there's 1%. No, fuck money. Is the money is energy. You can make money. Money has literally printed every fucking day, so that's not a problem.

You can make it, and I'm going to make my shit.

Exactly. But like, as far as the control, I hate that. I hate when people are trying to like— I'mma do whatever I was doing before. Obviously, tell me what to do, the men are going to be cut off. Like, we will— I'll be for real, I'll cut off everybody. I like that whole, you know, like, to me it kind of like does something to me when a man is like, oh yeah, you're my girl. Like, when it's like kind of like that ownership, to me it's like, okay, yeah, literally I'mma be like, okay babe, I, I will drop anything and everything.

I'm not dropping my job though.

No, I'm not dropping my job, but I mean man. Oh yeah, fuck them all. Okay, yeah, yeah. You telling me I'm your bitch, like I'm your woman?

Yeah, until he goes and start fucking other bitches. Now you gotta go fuck other niggas. I mean, yeah, that's—

sorry, I'm just saying that like that whole ownership aspect of it is like when you tell me you're mine, that just does something to me. It does something to me too. It's a special thing. I'm just like, I Like, I'm more toxic though.

I want to hear like, you my bitch. I'd be like, ooh.

Oh no, yeah, but that's exactly what I want to hear. I want to— I would just like— but like, say it in the way where it's like, I'm proud that you're mine. Like, that everybody wants you, but you're fucking mine.

But see, the thing is, is though, like, it sound good. Like, yeah, you my bitch. And I'd be like, okay, okay. And then, mind you, when I say that, I mean like he really means like I'm his girl. We locked in, not like you just one of my bitches. I'm fucking— I'm not saying that because they try to misconstrue shit all the fucking time. But it's more like, when you say that, nigga, act like it. Don't be out here embarrassing me. Yeah, no, because, because when you say that, then I'm like, bet I'm gonna, I'm gonna go all in. Like, now I'm like, I'm cutting this dude off. Like, nah, I talked to such and such. Like, that's my man. I'm taking— like, I'm doing all this. I'm standing head high. I'm like, yeah, I'm in a relationship. I'm talking then come to find out you fucking Susie from across the street and she trying to find me on social media and all this other shit, trying to blow up the spot because, nigga, you on some stupid-ass shit. Don't do that. So if you're gonna say that, then say that, mean it. And if you're gonna cheat— and that's my thing, like, if you're gonna cheat, don't let me find out. Don't let me find out.

Yeah, like, just keep doing whatever the fuck you want to do. Keep doing it. Look, keep your pattern the way it was before. Just make— give me some attention, give me some love, because I'm busy. I got shit to do. I got shit to do. Just— and if you say, you tell me, I want to fuck other bitches, I'll be like, okay, if I'm okay with it, I'm okay with it. That's it. Now I know that, like, if you don't pick up— so I would not do too much. You know, now we have the rules we have established. You call me whenever, whenever we need to talk. I'll text you. You call me. Whatever the fuck it has to be, it's going to be. But don't do this whole, like, backstabbing shit. Like, that's betrayal to me. I've tried this.

I've tried that whole thing before. I've, I've tried the whole, okay, you want to be monogamous? Cool. Let's be monogamous. Okay. You cheated multiple times. Okay. You can't be monogamous. So let's, let's start there. You can't be monogamous. What are we going to do? We want to be together. You want to be with me? Yes. Yes, I'm gonna be with you. Yes, cool. So what the fuck are we gonna do? I don't really want to fuck with bitches, but like, if I want to, I want to be able to. Cool. Don't let that shit get back to me. I don't want to know. Control your hoes. Yep, please. And if you decide to talk to someone, they need to know that I'm okay with it. She needs to know I exist, and she needs to know that I'm okay with this going on, and she do not need to cross any boundaries when it comes to me.

Hey, girly. Or when it comes to you. Yeah, no fucking hang girl DMs, none of that. The nigga couldn't even do that.

So it's like, friend, you never going to win because the niggas don't know how to fucking control the shit. They going to let— they're going to do too much. You give them an inch, they will literally go a whole fucking mile. You cannot give them even a little bit.

And granted, I believe that like people grow and like people learn. I hope, I hope. At what age? I hope they continue to grow with every single age that they get to, because the point of life is to learn and to grow. What age though? I hope that like by their 35, 40, they got to figure it out.

No ma'am, let's— 43 is pushing it. Maybe I met a couple of guys though around that 39 mark, that 39, 40 mark, that kind of seemed like, okay, like I'm ready. But 35? Bitch, please.

See, I don't even deal with nobody who's like in that age.

I, I like to go up there. 39, 40 and up.

40 and up, call me. Yeah, 40 and up, call me. The rest, I don't fucking want you.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You still want to fuck around.

Yeah, I ain't even like 39. I, I was dating somebody who was 39, that motherfucker. Like, he was telling me as if, you know, it's all love and he loves me and this and that, then found out he had like 20 other bitches actively fucking. And I was just like, this is just disrespectful. Because you doing too much right now. You putting like— now, you know, my life is in danger because of the shit that you got going on.

I don't understand that.

And it's like, don't put me into this. Just, just go do whatever, but like, don't fuck with me. I ain't got shit to do with this.

What do you think the reason is why men feel like they need to have sex with over 20+ women? Like, what is—

it's insecurities. Because it's like, you think it's insecurity? It has to be. Because what's the insecurity part? It's like, let me feed my ego that I can. That I can still do it, that I got it. But like, God, that's—

you got it.

I mean, I, I don't know what the fuck it is. I think it's mental illness when you have to fuck 20 other bitches. I think it's a mental illness. It is a mental illness because that's gross. That is disgusting. I agree. And I, I don't know if he was fucking them raw, and I pray he wasn't, but very much likely he was. And it's like you literally looking for fucking HIV, and that is an issue. That is literally a dangerous to society at this point.

They don't, they don't, they don't look at it like that until they actually— until I realize what I realize with men. They don't, they don't learn or understand until they actually go through something drastic.

They learn through pain. I already said that.

They learn through pain. So it's like, it don't matter, you know, how many dudes you decide to go out and, and have sex with, his friends, his his dad, his uncle, his clients, his, you know, like, it don't really— it don't matter. It don't matter. It's— he has— it has to hit him. It has to hit him in a different way for him to really, like, be like, damn. That's gonna come with time, when he gets older, or when the bitches run him through through the fucking ringer, especially these new bitches. These new bitches are off the chain. You know what, actually, shout out to you new bitches. And I say new bitches, I mean young bitches. Shout out to you new young bitches out here who's not letting these niggas get over. Give me the check first, I don't give a fuck. They on today, bullshit.

Oh yeah, they are.

These bitches is gonna run these niggas through the ringer. Keep doing it, please. Can't wait, cause the nigga ain't gonna have shit left to— he ain't got shit left. He only got so much. And then especially, please don't let him be trying to juggle at least 5 of y'all young hoes. That's crazy. 5? What? 5, man, please. I was dealing with a nigga, girl.

I just like the, the time management of it. It's like, what— at what point of time do you have time to make money? At what point of time do you have time, especially if you got kids? Like, you're literally always entertaining somebody, like, at all fucking times of the day.

Don't the kids, the women do. So that's that. So he's dealing with somebody on his weekend, you know, like if he has a weekend, but on his weekend that's, you know, no, every other weekend and during the week he has time to fuck around with multiple hoes and that's fine. It's weird, I think it's super weird. And I only say that because like now, like back then, like I had a roster, I had multiple niggas that I was like shuffling through, like I had a breakfast nigga, a lunch dinner— I mean, a lunch nigga and a dinner nigga, and a shopping nigga, and a yacht nigga, and a trip nigga. I'm saying, like, I had all different types of whatever for each— for each thing I had someone for that. And it was easy for me. And I was in school, and I was working. I was cool. I was able to juggle them all. Yeah, but I had control.

Yeah, you had control because you have the placement. Okay, like, this is where I get breakfast with, this is who I like If I want to hit the streets, this is who I call. You know, it's like, it's like, it's a—

yeah, you're a fun guy. Yeah, you're a fun guy.

Yeah, you got a guy that you can love on, like, you know, some simp that you—

oh my God, yeah, the soft nigga, the nigga you want to go cuddle up with. Yes, you got different, like, and it was easy to, to manage. Yeah, but then when I was young and I had energy and I didn't give a fuck, like, now trying to process like how a grown man does it I look at it now as being like sick as fuck. I don't know why it's fucked up that I feel like this, because I used to be that. But now it's just kind of like just being older, having those energies around me, it's too much. Like feeling the presence of just all these different people that I don't even care for or know for real, or know for real. So that's multiple energies. One is like the energy of me using you. Like, that's not in my life. It drains you too, because it's like you have to—

it's like kind of like, man, I know this shit is not right, but like, oh, I need this or I need that. It's doing too much. That's why I don't really, you know, I'ma just be genuine the way that I am. Like, there's exactly maybe like one, two people that I will talk to that I will like, okay, I'm gonna get to know and if there are certain things that I don't like, like I'm not going to build those like fucking castles of, oh yeah, we're going to get married, going to have kids. Like, no, we're going to— I'm going to just let it play out, whatever the fuck it's going to be, however it's going to play out. The only stipulation to all of it is if I don't talk to you for 2 days, then don't expect for me to be the same person anymore. Just because to me it's like I've— and I say it right off the rip, if you don't talk to me, I'll say it once, I'll say it twice, third time, I'm not a motherfucking parrot. I told you If you don't talk to me for 2 days and you're trying to be my friend or whatever, a bus can hit me for all you fucking know, and you wouldn't have no clue what happened unless I post on Instagram.

Well, I think like now I don't have any expect— any expectations on anybody that decides to come around me. Like, I really don't. It's more like Conversation with them.

I communicate those stuff.

Well, I do say— I do, I do let them know, like, off rip. I tell them certain things. I'd be like— I do really ask, like, what are your intentions? Because at this point where I'm at, I really want to know. I don't want to waste your time, and I don't want my time to be wasted, and I might just want to fuck you. Exactly. Like, I might not want to do anything else, and you are literally probably trying to do the same thing. Okay, so how is this going to be beneficial for the both of us? All right, well, moving forward, this is what we're going to do. Yeah, you cool with that? Bet. Then let's move forward. What are your intentions with me? Oh, like, you know, I think you're dope and da da da da da. Okay, well, we can see how things— like, I, I'm with you. I want to know up front.

I want to know up front. And I always say, like, if anything changes, let me know. All— you can text me, you can send me a letter, you can call me, whatever way you want to communicate that. You can send me a DM. I just— all I prefers communication. Please. I was dealing with somebody who, like, he didn't respond to me after we were supposed to, like, hang out or some shit, and he didn't respond to me. And like a week later I called him and I was like, hey, like, so what happened? He's like, well, I decided to, you know, something has changed and like I've decided to like not pursue this any longer. I said, listen, this is a simple text message. I understand that you think that I'm going to feel some type of way. I am absolutely okay with you telling me that. It's a grown-ass thing to do because I don't want to sit here and think Oh, what is this? Like, do I need to call him? Do I not? Like, I'm responsible.

Well, ghosting is a thing, friend. It's a—

no, I get it, it's a thing.

But it's like ghosting, because I'll ghost the motherfucker.

No, it's one thing when you ghost somebody that's like whatever, but like when you deal with somebody for a couple of weeks or whatever, you getting to know each other, everything is going well, and then it's somebody who's in his 40s. Like, bro, you, you, you better than that. That's true.

And you need to let people, you know, be accountable for those type of situations. But also like be a little play about it. Like, nigga, fuck you, nigga. Like, I don't need—

no, no, obviously it's been fucked.

And the thing is, like, explanation from you, because I didn't— I didn't have people— I didn't have people reach out to me about like why I haven't reached out or whatever. And I just be like, oh, like, you didn't get the hint? Like, I don't want to deal with you because of whatever the fuck you did the last time we was together. And I'm straight on you. And sometimes I just don't got the balls to be like I'm good on you. Yeah, like, I've done it before. I've definitely sent the text message and was like, I'm straight. Yeah, literally, I'm straight.

No, I mean, ghosting is a real thing, and I think it's cool. It's just like, I think in this era that I'm in right now, you know, especially that was somebody who was— and that's again, that's why I say I would never date a regular guy because it was a regular guy. And I told him right away, I said, listen, you know, I'm very respectful when I date somebody. I don't like to, because like, I don't have time to deal with multiple people. So if I'm dealing with you, or like, whatever, we fucking or whatever, like, I will deal with you, but you need to communicate with me so we're on the same page. And, and, you know, this is, this is what's going on. This is— it is what it is. You have to understand there's going to be a lot of men around me. There's going to be conversations that I'm going to be having here. You know, you're going to see on social media, it's going to be me with men. It is just a part of my life, and I understand not every man is okay with it. So you either with it or you're not with it. And just all I'm asking is don't waste my fucking time. Just let me know. Yeah, don't waste my time at this point. Before, I don't give a fuck. Before I go ghost, and then please go ghost, you know, it's just, just, just, just help me out with that. Or like, but, but when they go ghost for a couple days and then come back, it's like, bro, you think you can play the motherfucking game?

They go ghost and come back, it's kind of like, hmm. And I'm also in that, in that space right now, which is fucked up, but right now I'm in a space to where I don't get I get attention. Mm-hmm. I do. But I don't get the attention from who I want it from. Mm-hmm. So when I do get it, I'm, like, eager to, like, entertain it. Mm-hmm. But it don't always go the way that I want it to go. And so now I'm at a place to where I'm like, damn, now when it does come like come around again, I have to stand on business and be like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, fuck you, because last time it was kind of like a little weird and now you got me fucked up. So now I'm like battling between standing on business and wanting to like, what is it, scratch that itch or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And it fucking sucks because I don't have I don't have a nigga. I don't have a boo, a bae. I don't have nobody I can lay up with, cuddle with, go out to dinner with, go to the movies and all this. I don't. So when like the couple dudes, you know, that come around every so often, like that I had with Stature, I'd be like, damn, I've been wanting to do it. But like last time we were supposed to do something, you was kind of being weird, and I'm like, nah, I ain't really on that.

It's the toxic withdrawals. That's what I call it. Because like I used to be very toxic too And sometimes I'm like, bruh, the streets are calling my name.

I think that's a real thing.

They're whispering into my ear right now. And sometimes I'm like, because I used to go out so much and I'd be like, fuck, the itch of just going out and just let it all out, get fucking drunk, have the time of your life. And then you're like, but I got to get up tomorrow and I got this to do. And I'm just on my couch thinking about it and I just fall asleep, you know? So it's like, it's a, it's a different time. I mean, dream. Yeah, I'd be tired.

I'd go home. Um, like, if I'm— I'll stay, I'll go home, and then I'll be— I'll be with my— I have to get up early anyway, so I have a certain time I got to be home because the kids. Yeah. But when I don't have them, they be with they dad. I don't even do shit. I don't have shit to do. I literally don't have anything to do. Like, my friends, they don't live here anymore. Like, I might take myself out to dinner, might give me a hookah or something, but I'll go home, I'll be asleep by like 10:30, single as fuck.

I mean, I'm the same way. I'm just like, let me— and I wish I had a cuddly fucking animal. That would have been amazing.

But a cuddly animal? Yeah. So like, fuck the animal, I need some dick.

No, I would— that's great, but sometimes, you know, when you just want to be by yourself, but you would just want something that's like—

I'm not talking about the alone times, I'm talking about the times where I don't want to be alone. I'm alone all the time. Time. It's like when I'm at home and it's like no noise, no kids, no— you want somebody, no nothing. I'm just like, shit, who do I call? Nobody to call. I have nobody that I could call.

Me neither.

That's the thing. And it's fucked up because obviously I can go through my DMs and find a random ass nigga, but like, who the fuck is doing that?

And I don't want to go back to what I had, right? Because for what? I might—

no, I don't want No, I've been going— how many days is this? This has been 53 days with no contact. 53 days. I'm fucking counting. What do you do? 53 days no contact. I'm like trying to exit this person. Well, shit, I feel like I've exited them out of my life already.

53 days no contact, but it's still in your mind though. Mm-hmm. Because I bring it up.

But 53 days no contact, which is like, that's fucking crazy.

What if he called tomorrow?

I'm answering. See, you know, over— hello? Hey, hello? Did you mean to call? Hello? Hello? Fuck. Fucking butt dial, motherfucker. Oh, fuck, would you do that shit?

Oh no, if that happens Like, let's say if I'm counting and that happens, somebody calls me, I'd be like, I need to see you right now. I don't give a fuck if you on the other side of the country. I'mma fly there. I'mma be there tomorrow. I need— like, that's how, like, I'm possessive like that.

Like, see, me, I gotta play that shit off.

Like, you gotta be cool about it.

Like, right now, like, that was like some playful shit, but for real, like, if I was to answer that phone, hello? Hey, what's up? No, I'm good. Yeah, I was— hey, who's this? Okay. I know who it is. I know exactly who it is. Hello, what's up? Yeah, I'm gonna answer it too. Yeah. Oh yeah, I'm good. You good? You need anything? Okay, cool. Yeah, well, um, I'm in the middle of something, but it's good to hear from you. Like, okay. I got the phone.

I'm like, uh, deep inside, yeah, there you go.

But I gotta be— I gotta, you know, I gotta be a player. I gotta be a G about it. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, oh, I'm busy, I ain't got time for this call, knowing I don't want to hang up the phone.

I want to be in that house sitting right next to him.

I want to be in that skin. Fuck the house. I want to be in your skin. Puka babe.

Oh, girl, you're amazing. Anyways, I got a little gift for you. I know we've been chopping it up for a while.

Yeah, we have. I like gifts. I love giving gifts. Do you want me to pull it out?

Sure, if you want to.

Do you want me to pull it out, pause?

Pull it out. Let's see. I hope you always pull it out. Until we're ready. Oh, you said you wanted white? Yep. I never done the white before. This is, this is dope. It says talk less, do more.

Hello, please talk less and do more with y'all. Ugh, Lesya, let me see. What's another one?

It's a crop top. Oh, crop. I hope that it's cropped for you.

I know, right? Yo, yo tall ass. Period. And I am going to wear it. Yeah, period. Well, what's next for you?

Tell us what you're doing, projects.

Uh, what's next for me? I keep saying I want to do television, so, um, still trying to do like more for television. I'm building my own personal brand. Good. Um, I have a Mother's Day— I don't know when this drops, but I have a Mother's Day event that's taking place on May 2nd where I am giving back to over 300+ families at a shelter. Do you need any help with that? Yeah, so I need volunteers and sponsors. Um, it's on my social media, @jojoalonzo. J-O-J-O A-L-O-N-S-O. Um, so yeah, so just more sponsors, more volunteers, but it's gonna be— it's gonna be a big thing. It's the first time I'm throwing something on my own, like without station, like the radio station, without this, because this is something that's like, you know, dear to me. It's, it's a family shelter, so it's single mothers and their children. Okay. And it's going to be over 300+ people. I've already had 375 people that registered already. So, uh, super excited. I have some sponsors already, so shout out to them. But I wanted to be like super impactful for the city, um, super— just super impactful for these families as well. Um, so yeah, they can find all of that on my— on my socials. And then what else is next for me? I want to do more in radio, like I want to branch off more. Um, I'm in different markets, but I want I want to do more markets, and I just want my own shit. Ownership, you know? Yeah. So, um, what else is next for me? That's it. Just— and also, you know, obviously more with Broken Play, just trying to do more with them, do live shows, capitalize off of what we have going on already. Like, I love them. They're my people.

Yeah, they're dope. I love them too. The whole 85 South.

I'm like, I know, because you didn't interview everybody from damn 85 South at this point. Oh yeah, people love you.

I don't know what else to do about it.

How they in the comments? How do— what? That's crazy. Yeah, they're asking.

So Jack Thriller is the, the, the one that I'm filming right after yours. Yeah, it might drop before yours, but yeah, so that's been— I got over 200 comments asking for Jack Thriller.

Yeah, you don't have a time with Jack.

It's crazy. And then they—

he always do numbers for us, like like when we bring him on, he do, he do.

Yeah, Nav was like the— from Carlos's episode, it was Nav. So like people were asking, so whoever people are asking for, that's who I bring on because it's like, you know, I gotta give them what they want and also mix in with who I want to bring on too. Yeah. So, and I find that comedians or people who are naturally funny do way better than, you know, I'm tired of talking about relationships with relationships experts, which like, mind you, I had great episodes with them, but it's just at this point is so run through and like ran down that people don't really— it's like, okay, another advice I got to listen to. Mhm.

Yeah, yeah. It just be more fun. It's funny, cuz they funny as hell. They are. They are. All of them.

All of them.

What was it, like Carlos, Nav, Moneybagg, and Jack? Mhm. They're fucking hilarious.

Mhm. They were also asking for Clayton English. He hasn't responded to me, so like, I'm—

Clayton, that's so funny. Damn, they want the whole 85 fucking shit.

They want Oh, and DC is going to come on. Chico's coming on too. So, okay, that's, that's, yeah, yeah, no, we got— and DC was the one that was like, hey, I'll do your show. I'm like, what? I didn't even ask him. He was just like, I'll do it. I'm like, this is amazing.

Yeah, they dope.

I remember like a year ago, I think like somebody was like, yeah, you would have to pay like DC like a very big amount of money to come on because like, I mean, I just started. I didn't, you know, I wasn't known or anything. And so now it just felt so special. Like, I remember it was right at that, that thing where we went to the comedy show. Yeah. When he walked up to me and I like, I turned around to Carlos, I was like, Carlos, did you tell him about my show? He's like, yo, of course I did the fuck. Like, come on now. Like, you know, so I just, I literally like almost started crying there. I was like, oh, this feels so special. I'm like, I appreciate you for even doing that.

So it's been, um, yeah, they good people. They good people. Carlos is actually, he Man, I've known Carlos for years, and Carlos actually was like one of the ones that really was like getting me into the door with 85 South. Like, and granted, I would show up and be there for whatever they needed me to do. Like, I did like some fill-ins for them a few times. I was on— I was a guest a few times. They had something called 85 Vibe. I hosted that with Chico for like a couple times. Poor Minds a couple times. And then he just hit me up one day and was like, uh, go on Broken Play. Like, I want you to go and sit on a couple episodes for Broken Play. I'm like, okay. So I sat on a couple episodes, sat on a couple episodes, and they were like, hey, can we like keep you for the rest of the summer? Like, and you know, this is what it would look like. So I'm like, okay, cool. Did it for summer. Then after that they were like, yeah, we like you here, can we just let's just make this an official thing. So Carlos, he definitely, he definitely helped with that.

He— I mean, I don't even know what was it that I did that God was like, I'm gonna place this man into your life. And just like the— just, just in the short time that I've known him, all it was like for me, I was like, do you want to be my bestie? He's like, shit. And then I remember he called me 3 days later, he's like, so, uh, that's not what best friends do. So like, basically, why the fuck didn't you call me? And I was like, oh, I didn't I didn't think this was for real, for real. Like, damn. And so like, and then we just kind of like started communicating and it just kind of turned into, you know, if he needs somebody, okay, like, or like if he needs something, I got it, whatever. Like, I need— I can always call. That's one person I can call. He'll pick up the phone and he'll— whatever the fuck I need. Like, pretty privileged, I guess. Okay. Thank you so much for coming on. Thanks for having me.

I had a good time.

Yeah, they were asking for you, so— well, you got me. Yeah, I got you.

Yeah, I'll be talking all crazy and .

No, you were yourself.

I was kind of cool.

I didn't do too much. Yeah, it's good. No, you did it. Anyways, you guys, like, comment, share, subscribe, and let us know what you think, who you want next on, because at this point I'm just going off with whatever you guys want. And we'll see you in the next one. Bye!