Karlous Miller: Russians Might Be Black?!
In this episode of the Talk Less Show, host Lesya B interviews comedian and podcaster Karlous Miller. The conversation moves fluidly across a wide range of topics, beginning with Karlous’s self‑identified mission to advocate for Black men and dispel stereotypes. They discuss cultural perceptions of fetish, the difficulty Black men face expressing vulnerability, and the societal pressures surrounding masculinity. Karlous shares his entrepreneurial philosophy for building his comedy network 85 South, emphasizing ideas, execution, perseverance, and reinvesting profits. The dialogue then shifts to candid, often graphic anecdotes about strip club dynamics, spending habits, and the economics of the industry. Relationship preferences—tall women, single mothers, and the challenges of dating—are explored, as are personal travel stories from London, Germany, and other international stops. Light‑hearted tangents cover food preferences (donuts, juice), diet choices, Russian pork traditions, pet ownership (a cat named Twinkie), and a final comparative reflection on Russian versus Black cultural histories, touching on hardship, community values, and attitudes toward elders. Throughout, the tone remains informal, comedic, and at times introspective, revealing Karlous’s personal philosophy, lifestyle choices, and cultural observations.
Chapters
Who was the Russian who went to space first?
Yuri Gagarin.
Who?
Yuri Gagarin. You don't even know your people.
I didn't hear how you said it because you said it with the fucking accent. I thought she was cussing at me. What the fuck you say? You gonna get what? Yuri Gagarin. Yeah, I've been to Madison Square Garden too.
And why are you trying to like exit yourself out of the community?
Because the community is a burden. That's why shit is in shambles right now. So worried about what other people think. You can't do what you feel. You can't live your life like that. You'll never be happy.
Wait, so if I were to call you and be like, oh my God, I'm just going through this right now, you'd be like, girl, shut the fuck up, don't call me. What if it's like, okay, hey, that episode just hit a million views, I'm so happy, I'm so excited, thank you so much.
Shut the fuck up, fuck you though.
And this is how I get all my guests on. I don't buy them.
You bought some of them.
They come on because I manifest them and I ask them and they just show up.
That ain't it. That's not it.
Got you, got you, got you. Okay, okay.
Mind you, this is the time when I'm saying, hey, fuck the rest of that story, let's talk about something else. Who gives a fuck? I want to hear how y'all became best friends.
Oh, you jealous now?
No, I don't give a fuck.
Talk less, do more. I just had one today.
Did you record it?
Yeah.
Did you get frustrated?
Yeah.
Good. That's some good-ass content.
Yeah, my coach gets—
seeing you get frustrated is—
and I speak Russian when I get mad. I can't help it. There's nothing I can do about it. I just go crazy in Russian and then But I don't really do that in real life though.
Have you met some more Russians in Atlanta? Yeah, for real.
You know, my Russian friend, she has a black baby.
For real?
Yeah, her baby's black. She's the cutest baby in the world.
Oh, okay.
She speaks Russian too.
Oh, so I was just— I ain't know if you found somebody to speak that shit with or not.
My hair lady's Russian. Um, there's like so many Russians. There's a Buford Highway Market.
That's the international one.
Yes. So in the middle there's a whole Russian section. All of them speak Russian.
Oh, okay.
So if you want to get like Russian cakes and Russian pastries and Russian like little stuff, is there.
Okay, well, now I know.
It's amazing. It's good.
Okay.
Even my mom said it's good. My mom said it's good. It's good. Okay. She, she don't fuck with Russian food if it's not good. Oh my God. Please, we need to pray because I cannot do the same shit as we did with Tyler. It was like the messiest episode. It had no structure whatsoever. And I'm like, I'm not a person who does no structure. It was just the—
you can't do no structure?
No.
Damn.
Like, you got to have like an intro. You got to like—
no, you don't. This is a podcast.
Yeah, but I like to do it like, like a show. Like a show. Yeah, do it. Yeah, no, I'm doing it. The last time I didn't do it, I had all these cards that I printed out. I was like, well, fuck it, we're just talking at this point. That's good content. Was it good content? Rod was laughing, but Tyler is like— Tyler took it far.
Was he on shrooms or something? He was definitely high, but like shrooms? I don't know, this is a different high.
Is he on shrooms? I don't fucking know. How do you tell when people on shrooms?
You have to be there when they take them or you'll never know.
I took one on New Year's, I didn't feel shit.
You probably should have took two. You're a fucking tower of a person. You were like the Shaq of women.
I wanna have Shaq on too.
He'll do it too, 'cause he probably like your ass.
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That's a rumor. I went over his house, I ain't see none of the white women. I was like, Shaq, you gonna put the white women up when I come over here?
You should have called me.
I didn't know. I thought he had enough.
I, I reached out to him on Instagram, but he never responded to me.
But if, if anybody deserves to have like 4 white women, it's probably Shaq. He's a big dude, like a big-ass dude. So he got a big-ass crib, he got a lot of money, he's been very successful, he's a generous man, he always helping somebody. So he should have at least 4 4 hoes. It don't matter what nationality, just 4 hoes. At least 4.
Yeah, I think he needs to have 4 different ones, like white, black, Asian, maybe like Latino, whatever.
And it shouldn't just be one, it should be like a B Squad and like a Wednesday Squad. Shaq deserve hoes.
You know, like they do it in the Arabic cultures where they have like 4 houses and then 4 of them.
Yeah, like the Mormons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or I don't— maybe Mormons.
The Mormons get down.
Local. Yeah, but yeah.
And the Amish too.
Really?
All them other little freaky religions, they be freaky.
No, they're freaky freaky.
They real freaky.
But then they, they're like, you know, no sex before marriage, and then they get married, have—
because when you get married, you need to have your stamina built up so you can have a lot of— so you can go hit your wives, all 8 of them.
I want— you know who responded though?
Who?
I— in March, I was like, let me go reach out to all these people. I I literally did like 3 episodes and I was like, let me go reach out to Shaq.
Did he hit you back?
No, but I reached out to Cam and Cam just hit me back yesterday.
Yeah, he'll do it, but he wants me to play pickleball with him. Pickleball?
Yeah.
I mean, you gotta give to get around here.
You don't fuck with pickleball? No, I hate pickleball. It's trash. It's so— it's like for people who don't have any skills.
But it's like drunk tennis though, right?
No, it's like When you're not good at tennis, you play pickleball.
That's the point.
Like, when you suck, like, real bad and you have no other options.
Tennis is not easy.
No, it's not. It's hard. And then that's what he said. He's like, unless you're elite, unless you went to, like, elite tennis program, you can't really play tennis. I'm like, I never went to elite, but hey, okay, I'll take the compliment.
So you just play for a hobby?
Yeah.
I thought you were professional or something.
No, I play with pros. I train with pros.
Just, just to be better than everybody else?
Yes.
That don't make sense. Why? Because the average person is not even good.
But I don't care about— there's nothing average about me, so I don't care about it.
But I'm saying you want to be better than just regular people.
No, I want to be better than what I was yesterday. Like, I want to be better than I was last year. I just— it's just about me because I never had a chance to do it. So when I was a kid, I didn't have the money to do it, so I had to quit.
Yo, you fixing your trauma.
So it's like my ego that I'm like, okay, let me see how good I can get. Because now it's like, okay, I can pay for a coach, I can go train, I have access to all those people. Like now I can do it, but I don't care for going on tour or like winning anything. Okay. It's just because it's also like, it's torture to play tennis, to like make it to the Grand Slams. One of my friends is doing it. She's been doing it for 2 years trying to get back onto top 100. She's still like 500-something in the world. Yeah. Which is huge in the world. Yeah. But which is huge. But still it's like you only make money or like you're only valued when you are in top 100. And even then, you only like someone special when you're top 50. And then like, even if you're top 50, you still have to like figure out how you're going to get into main draws and the Grand Slam. So tennis is not for the weak, right? And that's why I was like, but I can go play college. Apparently Tyler told me that I can go to college now.
Yeah, you never went to college, right?
I went to community college, but I never went D1.
Yeah, you should go play. They would love to have you. And volleyball.
No, I can't have nails.
Take that shit off.
No. No, I can't.
Yes, you can. No, I definitely can live without those.
No, I need to—
I can't.
I don't know if people type without nails.
I hate that shape. They're so pointy and sharp.
Yeah, they're sharp so nobody can touch me.
Like, yeah, that ain't gonna work out.
What was supposed to work out? You guys, every single episode of Talk Less Show is brought to you by talkless.shop, where you can shop our merch. You can get the hoodies on there. You can get t-shirts, different patterns, different colors. We have green, we have beige, we have black, We have great— we have so many different street style fits that you can buy on there. So I'll see you on talkless.shop.
I don't think you're supposed to have nails like that. That's the same thing.
Who said what?
Why? It just seems dangerous.
Yeah, so don't get near me because have you seen the comments?
I don't think you got shit to worry about. That's online. That's not real.
No, it's not real.
Nobody's going to run up on you in real life.
Hell no. If they're going to run up on me, they'll be like, oh my God, you're so pretty. You're such a nice person. I've seen that happen. Huh?
They might be like, damn.
Oh yeah, they're gonna be like, damn, you're so tall. We didn't know you were actually that tall. People don't believe that I'm actually this height.
Well, I can confirm. Yeah, you can confirm you're a big motherfucker.
Damn, a big motherfucker.
Yeah, like if I was in the club and I saw you, I'd be like, man, I'm gonna put this weed out. I'm tripping now. You get what I'm saying? Like, I'm tripping now.
And now we're I wear heels when I go out.
Why?
Because it goes with my outfit.
Fuck that. You just do shit to be doing shit. That's what I'm noticing. You just really don't have a purpose for a lot of this shit that you're doing. You just over here on an adventure, just doing shit.
But how else do you live life? You only have one life.
I don't know who told you that, because I'm on my like— this probably my thousandth life. Thousand?
Yeah, there's only 9.
I keep reinventing myself throughout this life, or hell yeah, it's not just one life. I'm definitely not who I was last year or— oh no, no, months ago. So yeah, I have lived a lot of lives.
But it's, again, it's a trauma because my mom never let me wear heels when I was a kid.
So now you just gonna fix it all. How old are you?
31.
Yeah, you almost there because you still at the age where you have energy for that shit. By the time you get about 35, you'll be like, man, fuck this shit.
But I can tell you, I like going out though. No, I don't. Not anymore. I used to, but now I'm like, fuck, I'd much rather stay in my bed. I'm getting too old for this, man.
Fuck going out, because there's too many weirdos outside at night, because you never see night people in the daytime. Like, I used to work in the clubs a lot.
Oh yeah.
So the club crowd, that's not like regular people you see anywhere else in the city. They don't go to the football games. Or none of that type of shit. They just go to the club and you don't see them nowhere else. They sleep all day and party all night like vampires or some shit.
That's what I did when I came to Atlanta my first, like, year. I was going out. Yeah, but I met a lot of people. Now none of them go out.
They probably move on. Well, people you meet in the club, once they start doing regular life shit, it just seemed weird. You'd be like, you live down the street from me. You mean to tell me just because you got married, I ain't seen you in 5 years? Shit. Like, it just happened. Or your friends have moved too far away and you will never see them again. Like, certain, certain places where people tell you that they live, you just not going. Like Douglasville, Lawrenceville, Lithonia. You're like, bro, just hearing that be like, I know I ain't gonna ever see you again.
Yeah, it's like, it feels like it's a different state. Like Lithonia, whatever that— I'm— I remember there's this one guy that tried to talk to me. I'm like, bro, you live way too fucking far. There's no way we're gonna cross paths.
No, you're gonna have to go out there. They let you drive?
Yeah.
I didn't know you could be in another country driving. Don't look at me crazy like that. You're not from here. You're like, yeah, I mean, they just letting motherfucking Russians in here and they just drive. No wonder the traffic fucked up.
Ho ho ho ho, hold up, hold up. You know what we do in Russia? You know, run shit over for— for— that's, that's Africa.
That's Russia.
Not Russia. In Russia, for you to get your driver's license, you need to go to a driving school for 6 months., and then you need to take driving lessons for 3 months, and you need to pass the test, and police is there when you're passing the test. You also have to pass the test while there's a cop in the car to your right. You're in the car, you're going, um, up the hill, you need to stop on the hill, then you need to proceed further, then you need to parallel park, you need to garage park, and then you go on the street and you need to drive through the traffic. And like, it's like the craziest intersection.
Who the fuck has time to go to driving school for 6 months? What, what time? What's the time for it?
Like, you can't just get a driver's license.
How long is the class?
It's like 2 hours.
Like, but you got to go for 6 months straight or 6 months total?
6 months total, yes.
Is this every day or just—
no, it's like, it's like twice a week. So there's a certain amount of hours you need to hit, but it's spread out within 6 months. And so you cannot take driving lessons like no more than 3 hours a week or something. You did that? Yes, when I was 16, you— so, but you're allowed— you're not allowed to drive until you're 18, but you can start the school at 16, and with parents you can do it. So when I was passing the driver's license test, because I knew I'm going out of the country, like, I knew I'm going to school in the UK. So at 18, literally I just turned 18, I went, and I had a week before I was moving, so I went to do the test and everything. I was the only girl that passed out of 30 people. Damn, like, only—
are you a spy? No, you sure? I gotta ask, I don't know, because it seemed like you had some extensive training the way you put this shit. Like you've been playing tennis with the pros, and then you went and did 6 months of driving school and shit. Were you in the military?
No, I can't go to the military. We don't do women in military. It's men. It's very patriotic, but whatever the fuck. Men rule the world there.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, we, we just women, we You know, you sure? Oh yeah.
All right.
And if you were like a woman who has a business and all that, it's kind of like, oh, what's wrong with you?
Oh, they frown upon that now.
They're kind of more accepting to that, but before, nah. It's kind of like— so this is why— okay, you guys, this has been another fucking 30 minutes before we start the episode. Let's do this. Start it. Start it. Okay, okay guys, welcome back to Talk Less Show where conversations go deeper than the surface. Today I'm going to read an intro, okay? And I wanted it to be like very inspiring.
Why?
I don't know, cuz I feel like people don't do inspiring stuff around you. It's always funny stuff.
Oh, you want to inspire me?
No, just inspire people. Oh, cuz there's— I feel like there is more to you than just funny.
No, it ain't. That's it. That's all I'm selling. Don't try to make him feel—
every time you watch this person, he says he's broke, he has no money because of baby mama.
I have no money, I'm fucked up. Send me some.
What's your Cash App? Let's put it in here.
I would never put my Cash App out like that. Motherfuckers just going to request money, they ain't sending shit.
Really?
Yes.
Damn.
I literally have deleted that shit. I only use it for like family So how do you— that's like 5 people.
Is there like a bank account they can drop the money to? No, they can't send you money. Don't— you can just—
I don't want nobody to give me any money. I just don't want nobody to ask me for nothing. How about that?
Okay, let me read the intro, cuz I, I took like 20 minutes out of my day to write this intro. Well, it wasn't me, it was ChatGPT. But, but all right, let's do it. So my guest today is someone who really figured out how to turn being funny into longevity. He's from Mississippi, but he's out here selling out stadiums like hotcakes. He goes viral almost every single day, which already tells you he understands people for real. He didn't just tell jokes. He helped build 85 South into an empire with real ownership, real business, and real reach. He doesn't just happen by accident. That's— that doesn't just happen by accident. That's discipline meeting talent. People laugh with him because he's genuinely hilarious, but they stay because he's relatable and grounded. So welcome to Talk Less Show, Carlos.
Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me. It's an honor and a privilege to be here. They sent me over here from the Black delegation because I heard that you've been causing a lot of ruckus here on the internet.
Um, yeah, they hate when I say that Russian culture and Black culture is very similar.
Well, that's because it's a lot— it's a lot missing. Maybe you could be the one to fill in the pieces. I feel like the Black culture and the Russian culture have been added since at least the early '80s when, uh, Ivan Drago killed Apollo Creed. Y'all never apologized for that. Y'all never issued any statements or nothing. You just kind of left it what it was. And, uh, I want to talk about that while I'm here.
You want to talk about that?
Yeah.
Okay, but let's start first. If there's one thing you can talk less about, what would it be?
If I could talk less about?
It doesn't have to be with the topic of today's conversation. But just personally, personally, yeah, in general.
Oh, I don't know, myself probably. Why?
That's your brand.
It's not though. I'm not selling that.
What you selling?
The jokes.
The jokes?
Yeah, man.
But jokes come from you.
I know it, but it's like, leave it at that. I feel like we in a culture right now where people have to give so much of themselves. Like, you can't just be good at something. Like. No, when you in the spotlight, they feel like you have to be good at your craft, you have to be good on social media, you got to post good pictures, you got to have good lives, you got to have good, uh, inspirational quotes. It's too much. Nobody can do all that. You got to have room to just live life. You can't give so much of yourself.
What are those stories where you post those little naked—
the little ducks, whatever the fuck they are? I'm addicted to, uh, AI now.
You— oh, do you—
it's way better than real shit.
Yeah, I mean, that, you know, the, the AI cat story videos.
I love all of that. Oh my God, animations where they make the gorillas beat up the tigers and shit. I love all that. My story is full of that.
So wait, you're not against AI? You don't worry about like the whole AI taking over the world?
No.
Thank you.
They should though. It's a lot of dumb shit that we are way behind on.
Well, because people don't wanna grow, people don't wanna educate themselves.
So you think that's it?
I think that's what it is. Because think about it, the jobs that AI is gonna take over are the jobs that are very simple and very redundant. It's like, you know, being like, like personal assistant, right? How like outsource, they outsource all that stuff to AI that doesn't require too much skill. It's a lot of do, do, do, do, do.
So AI is gonna outsource all that because, but AI ain't gonna be able to be your personal assistant. No, not in person, but like personal. Assistant to go, hey, go downstairs and get the food right quick, run to my car and make sure the door lock.
You need people, virtual assistant, virtual assistant, like, you know, like, um, or doing research, for example. So like all this analysts now, they're going to go extinct because AI can do it so much faster than a person, right? You know, a person would need to take so many hours to do it. Or like, um, an analyst for— I used to work in banking for fraud, right? Like for a Analyst to analyze what happened with a fraud, build the case. AI can do it in like 5 seconds.
Mm-hmm.
So there's a lot of jobs that now it's like you either have to be creative, even creative stuff, like a lot of it is, you know, fed from AI. Right. But we're just at the baby stage of AI.
Good.
Yeah.
I'm looking forward to what's next.
Oh, next is, there's a lot of stuff that's gonna be next.
Drop that shit. There is no reason to hold onto it. Hurry up. The sooner the better.
I can't hurry up, it's not up to me.
But I'm just saying, it, it'll probably work out better, cuz—
but it's like anything, baby has to grow, so AI has to grow.
It's not a real baby.
It is kind of like a real baby.
No, it's not.
It started in the '60s though.
Yeah, well hurry up, come on, where are the updates?
They're coming.
Yeah, bring that shit.
But you know what's crazy though? This is— before we get into this conversation of Russians versus Black and how similar—
I thought we were together, now it's a versus.
No, we're not versus, we're how we're similar. Russians and Blacks, or Black, Southern Blacks.
Black people. Blacks just don't sound right. That sounds horrible because we don't refer to ourselves as the Blacks. Why do people say Blacks?
I don't know why there's even like—
you got to say Black people.
Black people. Yeah, my adorable Black people.
Okay, now we adorable. I get it.
Somebody just DM me, said thank you for appreciating Black men.
So that probably was a Black man.
It's a black man.
Exactly.
But, but, um, I was going to say something about comedians. After doing research on comedians and after listening to a lot of episodes, because before I do any— before I do any interview or talk to anybody, I do a lot of research. So I watch a lot of episodes of whatever you've done on YouTube and other places, go into ChatGPT.
I got a lot of shit on there.
Oh no, it's a lot. I was like, there's no way. So I had to use AI because there's no way. But even like with Tyler, you guys are so smart. It's crazy to be a comedian. You can't just be like— it's not just being funny, there's so much more to it.
It's me— good humor comes from observations.
Observations. But you also have to be like somewhat intelligent. You need to know how to read the room. You need to be witty. You need to be reactive. They're like— I was like, whoa, I don't think I gave enough credit to comedians because it's way more.
You didn't. And now I'm glad you admitting it.
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, you should be. I have to take a comedian's— because we have to figure a lot of shit out.
But even like the fact that you sell out stadiums, I mean, that just tells a lot because like that's also a business aspect of everything. That's not just like you being funny and like, oh, because you got a name now you can, you know, like you said, organically to sell the tickets. Come on now, that's not easy.
A lot of work. It's a lot of work because you got to earn those fans and then for people to want to spend money especially like arena theater type money, they gonna, they gonna expect a lot. So you got to give them a good show to make them be like, no matter where you at, I'm coming to see you.
But every show that I watched, I was like, my God, I'm, I'm like sitting there, I'm like laughing at my laptop.
This is crazy. It's good stuff, man.
It's great stuff. And just to be able to build that is insane.
Yeah, we work. Shout out to all the comedians, all the entertainers, period. We don't get enough credit.
Yeah, entertain us in general. I feel like just even doing content.
Yeah, because we got to keep people entertained. So a lot of people get frustrated with the content because they make— they know it's good content, but if they now get the views or they don't get the likes or the comment, they start getting frustrated. And it take a while to really cultivate that, so you just got to stay with it.
Yeah. And then I feel like you also got to be careful with what you're putting out there too, because like the whole Chrissy and Desmond thing, the Chrissy— Chrissy, Sarah, and then Desmond. The guys— the, the girl who was like trying on shoes and she was doing like crazy flips and all that. She's like this huge content creator, but they're getting divorced.
Yeah.
And how like he's cheating now and he ain't cheating if they divorce. I get it, but that's what the people are saying.
And I seen a little clip of that.
He looked like—
you see how people like once the shit come out, they can start putting little pieces together. They were like, look at his face in the background. Yeah, he's been unhappy for a long time.
But that's what I'm saying. I feel like you got to be careful because it's like, if it's like your relationship, I would not want that out there.
Why not?
Because I don't want that to happen.
They ran up a bag.
They ran up a huge bag.
Yeah, they ran up a bag.
But like, they ran up a bag and then they—
I don't think it was social media. Didn't they— ain't they been together since they're like 15 or something?
14.
Yeah, yeah. It's time to go see somebody else. Fuck you.
You think?
Hell yeah. They got kids. Yeah, two kids, they gonna be in each other's lives forever. It don't matter.
See, this is what I said too, though. I know it sounds fucked up, but this man has never experienced that hoe phase that every man needs to experience at some point.
Got money now too. He want to go hit some hoes.
He looks good.
He got— if she loved him, she would understand.
Oh, that like he needs to go?
She's selfish.
You think?
Yeah.
So if you were with a woman for—
don't put me in it.
Don't put me in it, but I'm just saying, why do you think she's selfish?
Because, man, she know she been with this man his whole life. Now he got this new whole social media thing going. She— and then you gotta— you don't know what their life is like off camera. It's probably boring as hell. And she put all this effort into the social media. What's left for your real life? That's exactly what I was saying in the beginning.
But, but that's what I'm saying. I feel like It was just not— because to put out that much content on that level, and every day, 3, 4, 5, 10 videos, but being on the level of like working with the biggest brands, I don't think she had time to even be in a relationship, right? Because like, you know, I don't work with those kind of brands, but I know what it takes to do content editing. I'm sure she has a big team behind it, so it's like she spends more time with her assistant probably than with her husband.
We can't assume, we don't know, she might just be bad. Maybe she just— maybe it didn't work. Sometimes I think it's his fault. Sometimes putting too much pressure on the relationship will ruin it. Like, you ever be just hanging out with somebody and the shit is perfect, then y'all try to put a title on it and then shit start falling apart? Sometimes you just got to enjoy shit for what it is. Don't try to stress no relationship.
That sounds so toxic.
No, it's not. It's real.
It's real.
All the pe— all the couples that are out here having fun They not stressing, hey, let's take it to the next level. You mine. Like, the ownership is what kills the fun in a relationship.
I don't want to believe it.
Don't.
I don't want to believe it.
Don't.
I, I just— but I, I kind of, you know, I had that thought today.
I was like, man, see, if you get in a relationship, then you got to get out of one. That's what— that's all I'm saying.
But if you get in a relationship, then it's like— I see what you're saying, because it's like the opportunity cost. Like, if I'm single, I have way more opportunities.
For what?
Just in general, you have way more opportunities, because if you can do whatever the fuck you want to do, you can not get up in the morning if you don't want to. And if you, if you're living together with somebody now, it's like a responsibility. You have to explain to another person what's going on. You have to do this and that, and like You gotta find your person.
When you with your person, you don't have to do nothing but be yourself.
Yeah, but still, it's like there's another— I don't know, I've lived on my own since I was 19.
Oh no, just by yourself?
By myself.
I've never lived with a man.
I lived with a man for like 9 months, a year.
It didn't work.
Oh my God, it was horrible. See, it was the worst thing in the world. I was crying like every day.
Before you moved in though, shit was fun, wasn't it? Tell the truth.
It was good. So we had to move in We had to move in, but it was like more— yeah, it was more fun.
I told you, proving my point.
But you know that they're saying that like they're— they're— I hate— I don't want to talk into about relationships, but whatever they're saying, you know how like if you really want to keep the happiness in the relationship, you need to stay in separate houses.
Like, I believe it.
You believe it?
Yeah, because even if you don't— even if you're going to spend a lot of time together, you still need that space, that break. It's what keeps you strong.
But when I'm like— this is, this is my problem. Whenever I try to talk to somebody, whenever I'm talking to somebody now, I'm like, I need 24/7 together because I feel like I've been by myself for so long now. I'm like, well, if you're not with me, then like, let me just go back to being by myself.
Okay, you see that shit don't work, so stop doing it.
I just, I think I've I'm coming to terms that dating is just not for me.
Oh, where were you going with that?
I don't know. I don't want to talk about dating. I want to talk about the culture because this is, this is something that we really—
dating is part of the culture.
Yeah. Do you, do you— how do you— okay, let's do this. How would you describe culture so people can understand? Because if we're going into it, we need to like define it. What are we—
no, we're not defining nothing in 2026. The people who know, know. If you have to be told, you the reason why don't nobody want to tell you. That's what it is. There's too many people out here trying to understand some shit that they not a part of. If you're not in it, don't worry about it. Do you. Worry about your culture. Find your people. Do your research. Leave us the fuck alone.
Okay, so I pulled the actual definition, and I know what he's trying to do, but that's not—
fuck that definition.
Let's— I want to define it because people are going to come at me saying that I don't know what culture is and blah blah blah blah blah. Let me protect myself before it goes south.
Go ahead, this on you.
I want 85 South. Okay. Culture is the shared way of life of a group of people. It's how people think, live, communicate, and make meaning together. You're not born into culture, you absorb it from who's around you, how they act, and how they love, how they discipline, and how they survive.
I was born in it.
You was born in it?
I was born in it.
Really?
Hell yeah.
Well, let's talk about it. Okay. Why do you say that?
Because when I was a baby and they were bringing me home from the hospital, this is how much culture I got. No car seat. Somebody held me. That's culture.
That's okay. So that's how they do it in Russia too. Like, nobody is— what car seat?
No car seat.
But we didn't have car seats back then.
We didn't have no car seat.
What are we talking about car seats?
I don't know.
I don't think— you know what's crazy? When I was a kid growing up in Russia, again, you guys, I grew up in Russia until I was 14 years old. I lived in Siberia, city called Krasnoyarsk. That's where I grew up and that's where I was raised. I remember in kindergarten, we were 5 years old, it would be like this old Russian car, like a sedan. It would be one of the kids' mom picking us up from kindergarten to go to swim practices. It would be like 6 to 7 kids in the car, and just random kids, random kids in the back seat. And it's like, it's a 4-door car, it's not a, you know, a soccer mom car, none of that.
Just very Black of y'all, Russia. Very Black of y'all. Okay, so we, we, I'm making a little mental checklist.
This is what I'm saying. This is how we're gonna—
did you ever spent some time with your grandparents?
Oh my God, I— that was like they were raising me.
Really?
Yes. My grand—
they were together?
Yes. So my grandparents, they've been together actually for 65 years now.
Your grandma smoked cigarettes?
No.
You almost got a point. Yo, if you would have said yeah—
no, but my grandpa did.
In the house?
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, okay.
What are you talking about? What, Soviet Union? This is what they do, smoke cigarettes. Okay, they pour shots of vodka. Okay, and they, they chase it with pickles and boiled potatoes. You know why pickles? Because they don't give you hangover. So pickle juice is the hangover juice.
Oh, okay.
So that's why. And Russian man, this is what I remember my, my brother and my dad and my grandpa would always tell me: if you're dating somebody and if that man is chasing a shot of vodka, he's a little bitch.
Ain't that called a pickleback? Right, no, huh? There you go.
What is that?
What, Jameson?
No, Jameson was the whiskey.
Yeah, the pickleback. I guess that's just what they call that.
Oh yeah, so see, potato.
I don't know, I don't drink.
And vodka. But that's like, that's what they do. So like, that's how it was. Cigarettes. And it would be like, they would be in a garage somewhere, right? And you know, it'd be like, oh man, And they would have a newspaper on the table. They would have vodka, pickles, potatoes, and like sometimes the herring. That's the fish. That's how they did it.
All right.
See? Okay. So how many points do we have now?
I still, I give you 2.
2?
Okay. 2 little points.
Okay. See, I grew up in a, Russia is a very drinking culture. So like—
Very much. We know that.
Yeah. It's very—
I'm gonna tell you all the propaganda we've been told too.
Okay. What is it?
Well, first I told you that we still mad about what happened to Apollo Creed. Okay, we mad about that. Um, we've been told Russians drink a lot of vodka.
True.
They like some killing.
Killing?
Yeah, they like to kill shit. Very gangster.
True.
They like, um, violence.
But violence is different though. Like the gun violence is in America.
Like some, some cartel type shit.
That was in the '80s.
That's, that's not around no more?
Not anymore. It's like, like, you know, like when it's like cartel, like groups of people like going against each other? That was back in the '80s. That's, that's gone. Those— that's, that's a, that's a, that's like '80s, '90s. That's, that's no longer a thing.
Damn.
Yeah, but it used to be a thing.
Okay.
So it was especially in the '90s because Soviet Union was breaking down. So, um, there was just like a lot of chaos going on. There was like a lot of organized crime and stuff, but they couldn't even control it because It's just, it was—
didn't y'all invent Tetris?
I don't know, did we? Maybe.
I don't know. Wasn't the theme of Tetris Russia?
Tetris was a great thing. Did you play it?
I fucked with it.
Of course, we grew up on that.
I thought it was— I thought that was the whole point. I thought they was— because you know when the little opening screen?
Yeah.
I thought that was Russia.
I don't know, maybe. I don't remember.
They fuck with some chess. Y'all play some chess over there?
Oh, absolutely. Um, checkers, chess, that's what we used to play. Cards, I got so offended the other day. I was at my friend's house and they were playing spades and they're like, oh, you don't know how to play it, you're not even going to sit on the table with us. And I was like, excuse me?
Oh, you play spades?
Oh, we— so we, we have a lot of card games. Spades, I, I—
okay, y'all get another point then. I'm starting to see the similarities. Black people love some cards too.
Cards, yes. So there's a game that's called Fool 101, 21. Okay. And then I remember 21 Me and my brother used to play a lot, and then we would do like, basically, who would lose would do like the knuckle game afterwards.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, and he would hit me so hard, man. He just—
damn.
Yeah, my brother never played games. He would like, he would actually hit me, hit me. It was not like nice.
Y'all love to hit some women too. Yeah, we, we heard about the violence. Told you they fuck with that violence.
Okay, what were unspoken rules in your house?
Um, don't fuck with the temperature.
Okay.
You can't touch no temperature. If you too hot or too cold, that's just on you.
Okay.
Um, definitely no running in and out, first and foremost.
Oh, hell no.
First and foremost.
Um, do you wear shoes in the house? Yeah. Okay.
I've been since I was a kid though, because I used to always like to leave with my dad, and if he was— I just kept my shoes on. Until he took his off. So I never missed like the opportunity to leave. And it's just a habit that over the years. Yeah.
So you still do the same thing? Yeah. Wait, so when you like lay down on your bed, do you have your shoes on or no?
Hell no. Who does that?
Oh, thank God.
You know somebody who can—
white America.
Nobody does that.
I used to.
So don't, don't—
white people, I literally—
we still studying them. We don't know what the fuck they got going on.
Listen, when I was in college, I stayed with my friend for 2 months because I didn't have a place or whatever we were doing. I was just living in her house and her parents were filthy rich, like mentioned, right? And she would come home and she would put her shoes on the white bedsheets and I would be like, what are you doing?
No, I don't know nothing.
And suitcases on the bed. Oh, hell no. I'm like, you travel everywhere. Why would you put a suitcase on a bed where you sleep and then not changing bedsheets?
Mm-hmm.
See, if I were to even walk in the shoes in the house, I'll get slapped, right? There's no way. We don't wear shoes in the house. Very strict.
Uh, we had a lot of little crazy-ass rules. Like, you couldn't stand in front of the refrigerator with the fridge open, just standing there hanging out. You need to kind of know what the fuck you getting out of there.
Well, because you're running electricity bill.
Yeah, well, I'm just saying, yeah, I don't even know if it was that. I think it was just one of them things.
Well, and the fridge gets like— I remember it would always be like, close the fridge, go get it. And then because it's like the fridge is cold, so keep everything cold in there, right? So that was definitely a thing.
Um, damn, my mom would probably beat your ass if you like went in the bathroom, took a shower, and you left it all fucking shower-y, like, you know, with the steam and the fog and the floors all wet. You probably— that was probably one of those things that would get you fucked up at my house.
Yeah, I mean, so chores, did you have chores?
Absolutely.
What did you have to do?
Everything.
Like, what is that?
Like, if you walk past some shit and you saw it need to be changed or straightened up, that was your responsibility.
Okay, what about— was it like men were doing housework?
It wasn't, because for as long as my mom was the only woman in our house, so it wasn't like a, hey, men do this shit. It's, hey, get your ass in there, wash some clothes, wash some dishes, fold them clothes, put them clothes up. So it was She was just calling the shots. We did everything.
Same. We did everything too. My brother and me, we had like cleaning chores, so we had to— it was like, it was never like, oh, you just going to do that? No, y'all both doing that, right? And your room better stay clean, cuz if—
and we from the South, in the country, so we had to do a lot of outside shit, inside shit.
What was the outside shit?
Like, I remember one summer we had to fucking— we got the roof done, so we had to clean all that shit up. 'Cause the company who did it, they were like, we would've did it, but they, your folks said y'all was gonna do it. So me and my brother was out there fucking picking up roof shingles and cutting grass and trimming hedges and planting flowers and working in garden and all kind of shit. Just moving shit around, building sheds, tearing them down, demolition, construction, all kind of shit, concrete. Okay, see, working in the woods, we're going to cut down trees all fucking day, shit like that.
Okay, this is— we have— so we live in apartments, right? Like condos, that's how we lived in. But a lot of people have village houses, and it's not like mansions or anything, it's just like those kind of like shacks, but they're just— they made out of wood, so you can't live there during the winter, you can only live there during the summer. Yeah, because— and if you want to get it warm, you have to put a fire. So like, there would be like a kind of like a fireplace inside, but it's like a closed-off one. So like, it's like kind of like a chimney thing.
Yeah.
Um, and we would only go there during the summer and we would also have to plant flowers, but we had a garden because during the summer you basically grow your vegetables, your fruits, whatever grows in there. You only have a couple months to do it. So your grandma would like plant all the seeds in March and then by the summer there's like potatoes, there's, you know, cucumbers, tomatoes.
Yeah.
Like everything.
Peppers.
Peppers, radish. So like, you know, all kinds of like green onion and all that stuff. Beets. Beets. Oh my God. Love these. See, you guys eat beets?
Yeah.
Okay. How do you eat beets?
Shit, I don't know.
Do you like beets?
I don't know. Like to tell you the prep, like the preparation of them. That shit is—
Well, what's the dish with beets?
It'd be like greens and shit like that. Like, do you know the white people grew up around a lot of old people? Do you know the white people don't even know what they never really fit the meal? They was just extra, like, and some beets. Like, beets?
Oh, I'm gonna get you some beet salads.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
We have a lot of beet salads and beet soup. Borscht, that's with beets.
I'm good.
Why?
There's a lot of shit I don't ever want to eat again. Oh, because of just growing up around old people?
Okay, just, just to, you know, similarity. Beets. Telling you, white people don't know what to do with beets. They put on the hamburger.
No, beets are great for you, especially if you're a man. I can get you some beets. Why? It's good for your, um, for what? For your areas. For what areas? For your man areas and things like that.
Are you talking about sexual health?
It's— yeah, it's great for your sexual health.
What does it do?
It gives you a lot of nitrous oxide.
What does that do? Can you speak? Get down to the bottom of it. This is a lot of like riddles.
Oh, it's just good for your erections. It make them harder and stronger and—
there you go—
last longer.
Because I'm telling you, people need to know the sauce.
No, they don't. Fuck, why you trying to help these people? Fuck these people.
Because I appreciate my Black man.
You got a Black man?
I only date Black men. I don't got one.
Oh, why not? This is one of the Blackest cities in America.
I like, I don't know, it's hard for me to date. All you told you.
No, it's not. Why, why would it— why is it hard?
Because I'm too demanding. I want too much. I'm like, I'm a lot. I don't know.
But you know this.
Yeah, that's why I, I literally like, like you said, I watched the interview where you said, I under-promise and over-deliver. I'm always like that. The first thing I say, I'm crazy, I'm demanding, I'm affectionate, I just want it all. And they, at first they say, yeah, I thought you—
I saw a clip of you, you fell in love with somebody on this show, didn't you? You were sitting on somebody's lap.
I thought that was your— oh, that was my husband Space God, but you know, oh, not a real marriage. Okay, it's like space marriage.
I don't know.
He's not even— he's not even a human, he's an alien.
Maybe y'all just overcomplicate this shit.
Women?
Yeah.
Yeah, I think so. I overthink too much. I like— I have a lot of anxiety, so like, I, I just— yeah, I know.
Why? Because you said you don't— you're not living in the moment then?
I'm not, because I'm always worried what's tomorrow.
Fuck, tomorrow's not even promised.
I know it's not promised, and that's my problem. But trust me, there's a lot of things I'm working on. I, I acknowledge it It's all here. I'm very open and honest about that. It is what it is. Maybe I need to eat more beets. Maybe it'll clear my mind too.
Me and mine.
What?
But you, you caught a lot of backlash for your comments, right?
Yeah, because I'm saying that, you know, Russian culture is similar to Black culture. Okay, so what I'm literally just— so far what we've discussed is very similar.
I'm seeing it.
Okay, let's talk about the, um, the obedience part. Because I feel like that's what you mean, obedience with your parents. Did you grow up in a two-parent household or one? Two parents. So was it— who was doing the whooping, mom or dad or both?
Both.
Okay.
It was a— it was a, uh, we had that policy like wherever you show out at, that's where you get it.
Was it belts?
It was ass whoopings with anything and everything. Yeah, belts. No, I ain't gonna say that. I ain't even gonna put that on my phone. It was usually like a belt or a switch.
A switch. Oh shit, that shit hurts.
Like, fuck, that, that felt like nobody loved you. Oh, and I grew up in a time where you could get public ass whoopings and you would get support from the community. That's right, girl, tear his ass up! Right at the grocery store.
Oh yeah, I mean, what, you can't have a tantrum in a grocery store. What are you talking about?
No, not even a tantrum. I remember like my thing as a kid, we used to like Run off. I don't know why parents don't let their kids do this shit. Well, I know why, but, but right, you remember as a kid, like going to the mall with your parents and shit and you could just run off and just be in the mall?
Hell no.
You don't let kids do that shit no more. I remember doing that as a kid when we would go out, we had the freedom to just, and I never, let you do it. Yeah. And I never knew how they would find us. And like as an adult, I would never let my 5, 6, 7-year-old just roam in a public mall, but I did as a kid.
Oh no.
Like, we go to the mall, mom would give me like $5 or $10 or some shit, and I would just be out in the mall. And you would never see them until it was time to go. They just kind of knew exactly where you were.
That's why I don't—
you had Charleston White on here?
Yes.
That had to be good.
You didn't see it?
I'm gonna watch that one.
Oh, you—
yeah, yeah, yeah. No, because see, you a white woman. I could just hear it now. That shit got me.
No, he said that he loves white women.
I believe it. He'll say anything to piss people off.
Oh, he actually—
I love when people actually agree with him and he changed the stance just because somebody agreed with him. That's the funniest shit to me.
You know, I never had so many great compliments towards myself because everything under that video is, that was the best interview I've seen, you did a great job, because I let him talk.
Let him talk.
Yeah, and that's— he just went with it. And like, there's a lot of things that he said. But anyways, I, I said that about That actually, that clip went crazy on TikTok and on Instagram where I'm talking about me going to school and they're kicking me out of class because I told the girl I want to see her ass because she was wearing like super short shorts.
She had ass?
Nah, not really.
It just was out.
It was just out. I was like, I don't want to see that. And so—
hold up, this is what I was going to ask you. Y'all got Black Russians over there?
We do.
Like how many?
So there's— in the '80s there was an Olympic Games, right, in Moscow.
Okay, I see where this is going.
A lot of Africans came to Russia.
Did they leave?
Oh, they left, but they had kids.
They left the kids.
Oh, they left the kids.
That's so very African right there. I love that. They were over there like, no, man, she's good. She can take care of this baby by herself.
Yeah. So there's a lot of like experience.
I'm fucked with that.
And now Russia works very closely with Africa. So there's a lot of African students that go to Russia to like become doctors and study and all of that. So there's a lot of them. When my brother got married, he just got married last year. His, um, the The guy who was like officiating the wedding, he was Black.
I saw on TikTok where they were starting to find all these Black people from places they didn't know. And I think a few Black Russians popped up. I saw a lot of Black people in Scotland though.
Scotland?
Yeah.
But yeah, there's a lot of Black Russians in there.
What would you say like the Black population of Russia is?
Listen, okay, okay. I don't think that there's stats like that just yet. You know, we're still growing with the Black population there. It's probably like 1% maybe. But hey, we're getting there, we're getting there.
For real.
A lot of women actually do have children with Black men in Russia. Yeah, there's like on Instagram, you know, because I can't go there. I haven't been to Russia in 10 years.
But you can't go?
No. Oh yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's pretty bad. But anyways, that's besides the point. Every time I scroll on Instagram, there's like some, some woman who's married to like an African guy, then they have kids, and then it's just like They kicked you out? They kicked me out, yeah, a long time ago. Oh, I haven't been— I haven't seen my family in 10 years.
For real?
Yes.
That's very Black. That's some Black people shit. I'm starting to see the similarities.
See, see, like we had— I mean, but I still talk to my family.
Talk to them, you just ain't seen them? Yeah, yeah, that sound about right.
Like FaceTime?
Yeah.
So, but the thing about—
look up how many Black people in Russia for me. I want— I just want to know just roughly, because that's one of the biggest places, right? They got the most landmass.
Yeah.
Okay, I just want to know. Okay, do y'all ever see Black Americans over there?
Black Americans?
Yeah.
Well, I told you, Roy Jones. Roy Jones is the one. He's a citizen now.
For real?
Yeah, he, he said he was very proud of being a Russian citizen.
I gotta see the footage.
So back in the day, before the war and before everything, There used to be so many, like, Tyga was doing shows. I think he's still doing shows in Russia. Kanye was doing shows in Russia, like all this big, big—
where is this footage?
Oh my God, I'll send it to you.
It's got to be secret.
No, it's all on YouTube.
So you mean to tell me in Russia they listening to Tyga?
Absolutely.
We got to catch y'all up.
Listen, Russians are— they love rap, hip-hop, and they started like, they mimic a lot of the stuff that comes from here.
Do y'all have any Russian rappers over there?
Yes.
Are they good though?
Uh, one of the biggest Russian rappers, he actually— he's like friends with Drake and stuff.
Yeah, they don't make him good. Drake is a nice person, he's a friendly guy.
No, they're good. I'm gonna send you some Russian rap, it's pretty good.
Are you gonna have to translate it?
Listen, okay, all right, I'll translate what they say, right?
But like, they don't have a number.
3 to 70,000.
That's a lot.
What is it, 70,000 Black people?
That's a lot. I mean, for what it is. And then you said most of the country empty anyway.
It's not a big population. Yeah, it's a lot.
Y'all let a few more of them Africans in there, y'all can get y'all numbers up.
We can do that. We can populate the planet. Yeah, but okay, so then going back to obedience, you had to listen to your parents. Right? Like, if you don't listen— yeah, why do you look like that?
People, people tell me that I don't know shit about Black culture, so now, you know, you should just go live with a Black family for like a year.
I would— I do live with— I've only lived with Black families.
I guess there's a lot about you they just don't know, huh?
No, but they don't know about me.
How did this—
every, every—
how did you even get involved in all this?
On the Black community?
Yeah.
I don't know. I just, I don't know. You know, it's crazy because people pointed out like every guest that I've had on are Black, and I was like, it's not intentional. It just happened.
Yes, the fuck it is.
No, it's not.
You could easily call some white people over here.
Who? Name me like 3 white people that I can bring on the show.
I can't tell you which white people you like.
I don't know because I don't think I like any.
Well, that's on you.
But that's what I'm saying. I'm just in it. I don't know. All my friends are Black.
I'm saying like How, like, when did you start this?
The show?
No, like, your love for Black people.
When did I start it?
Yeah, when did, when did you know that you loved Black people?
I think it was my first boyfriend when I was 19.
It took you 19 years to figure this out?
I didn't know. I spoke— I started speaking English at 14, so you can't put that on me. Okay, like, you gotta—
so your first boyfriend was Black?
Yes.
Where is he now?
He's in California.
Oh, okay.
We don't talk anymore. We used to talk after we broke up, but then I'm like, it's kind of pointless.
Really?
Yeah. I have mad love for him though. Very happy for him.
What is he like?
He's 6'6", former basketball player.
Okay.
His dad is Black, his mom is Persian, half Persian.
Oh, okay.
So he's like mixed. He's a great, great person. He taught me a lot.
Okay.
I was— I told Tyler the whole story about how he cultured me a lot.
Okay.
He explained to me, he's like, when you're in America, there's a label on you and you have to live accordingly, right? Because that's just the way we live life here. There's a lot of words you can't say, especially when you're in the Black community, right? You got to be very careful with what comes out of your mouth.
Hell yeah.
And, um, yeah, because I, I fucked up. I told Tyler that story about, you know, like in Russia, my mom used to call me like, you're a little like—
don't say it if you're gonna get in trouble.
Oh my God, they're gonna—
yeah, but don't say it.
Yeah, no, I already said it. Okay, that episode, in the previous episode.
But, um, just send me the clip.
I'll send you the clip.
Yeah, so you don't got to say it again and get them mad again.
But obedience part, like, that's another thing, you know. You can't speak back to your parents in Russia. You spoke—
hell no, they'll slap the shit out of you.
They'll slap the shit out of you. My grandma used to, like, whatever she would have in her hand, she will throw it at you. Like, we used to have marks on the walls and she's just like, I don't give a fuck about this, blah.
Like, my brother used to get My grandma whooped my brother's ass with a dish rag one time, like a wet dish rag.
Oh, that's painful.
I mean, it was like, it was like watching some kung fu shit.
Oh my God. Yeah, she was the way she was.
And it was like, damn, that sound like it hurt, because it was just enough water on there to— I don't even know if that was child abuse, but I don't think so.
Back there, it does not— like, it's not considered child abuse, right? Our coach, like my swim coach, she used to do that too.
Like, she used to hit y'all?
Oh, she, she, we were terrified of her. You know, funny thing about her—
hold on, y'all swim coach used to hit y'all?
Absolutely.
That's definitely not allowed. I would have brought my mom.
Oh, my mom would send me there. All that, we would go.
You ain't about to be whooping on—
oh no, she was. And that's why my parents loved her, because she was—
so your parents like sent the permission for her to like whoop your ass?
Absolutely.
Now that, that did come from our culture.
That's—
did you get another ass whooping? And when you got home, sometimes you see in the Black community, if somebody else have to whoop your ass— I know times have changed now, but like, if you out and somebody else has to whoop your ass, you getting another ass whooping because you was outside and had like did some shit that made somebody else whoop your ass.
Well, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, you don't like— so, but my mom took it like a whole different level. She would not speak to us for like 2, 3 days.
Oh, okay.
And she would just intentionally leave the house, and that silence was killing me. I think that's why I have this like whole attachment issue. Yeah, when somebody does not speak to me for 2, 3 days, I'm like, oh, you don't fuck with me.
Yeah, that's, that's dumb. The people that fuck with you the most.
Really?
Yeah.
Why?
Because people don't want to oversaturate the market. Like, y'all gotta be gone for you to miss me.
Oh, is it like the quote thing from Instagram? No, it's just like, let him miss you.
Oh, don't overthink so much shit. You got to just let some shit be what it is.
Okay, humor, that came from the culture. Would you say the OGs, they always used to talk shit to each other?
Most definitely.
Right.
So that's just That's just in us though. We've been doing that shit since we got here. Since the first day we, you know, we touched down over here, we've been talking shit and making fun of it, right?
So that's the same thing in Russia. Humor is a big thing and sarcasm, like, it's like the love language.
Exactly.
Like, you have to like make fun of things. And like, until now, I feel like now it's more you got to be careful what you say because of the political environment there. Yeah, but before that you could say anything and everything. Like, it wasn't so— like, now it's just kind of like here, everything is so sensitive. You got to be very careful with the way you speak things, um, you know, you don't want to offend no communities, none of that. So it's the same thing there. But before that, when we were growing up, oh, even like comedians, this, this, the shit that they would say on stage, it would be— it would— but it would be like relatable, real life stuff. Yeah, especially like if it comes down to like politicians and everything. Now obviously they prohibited, you can't.
I think with that's that element of it is still around for us though. We don't give a fuck what they gonna do.
Oh, what they gonna do? I don't know what they're gonna do.
What they gonna do?
But, uh, what about conversations? Like serious conversations?
Serious conversations?
Like deep conversations? Like when you go like deep into it, you know, like you sit across from your friend and you just go deep and deep and deep into it and you're like, damn, it's been 3 hours and we're still talking?
I don't know, what are you asking me about that?
Like, did you have that?
Um, yeah, but as a Black man, I try to avoid shit like that. Why? Having long, deep conversations. I don't really want to— I don't really want to express my emotions, and I don't want to hear about yours. Why? For what?
Because I want to tell you.
That's not going to change nothing.
But I, I will little out That's not gonna help you or me. It's gonna help me?
It's not gonna help anybody.
Why not?
Because now I know how you feel, and now you're gonna burden me with having to even consider your feelings when I'm out here just doing shit that don't even involve you.
So you don't want other people to consider your feelings when you feel something?
I want people to live their lives and not worry about me.
But why are you trying to, like, exit yourself out of the community?
Because the community is a burden. That's why shit is in shambles right now. So worried about what other people think, do, and feel. You can't live your life like that. You'll never be happy.
Wait, so if I were to call you and be like, oh my God, I'm just going through this right now, you'd be like, shut up.
Girl, shut the fuck up. Don't call me. Call somebody else. Don't call me when shit is bad.
What if it's like, okay, hey, the episode just hit a million views. I'm so happy. I'm so excited. Thank you so much. Be like, don't call me about that.
Shut the fuck up. Fuck you though. Oh shit, what?
You're ruthless.
I am. I'm 42. I have done my time with giving a fuck. I'm done with it. Like, if it's not about like what, some achievements or some happiness or some peace, financial gain, leave me out of it.
Hold up, if I'm calling you, the episode did a million views, you better know that there's some financial game there.
You about to send me some bread?
Maybe.
Well, do that. Send the bread first, then call. How about that?
But I don't know your Cash App. You don't give it out.
I don't fuck with the Cash App. Hit me on the Apple Pay.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, just send the bread. We'll make sure we get it.
Oh, okay. So it's only when it's money?
Yeah, but you ain't— no, I'm just saying, like, what we going to do all this for?
But then you said you broke, you don't care about money, you don't have anything.
I didn't say I was broke. I said don't ask me for shit.
Oh.
And I don't want nobody to give me shit. I'm content. Content. Yeah, because money ain't even what I thought it was gonna be.
What?
I've never been— times where I have had zero dollars and I've had so much fun. And there have been times where sometimes I just like, fuck, How can you still feel like this if that's— if money ain't the problem no more? Money don't change shit. It just changed the way you can handle your problems in your life. It gives you access to different resources. It's really a tool, but it's definitely not the key to happiness. That shit got to be in you already.
No, that's for sure.
But, but I'm just concerned that you can buy some shit that'll make you happy, or that can be like your happiness accessories. But just having money and shit won't ever fill that void.
I don't know why my mind goes to like buying shit. No, sex.
You be buying sex. You've been out here buying sex.
I've never bought sex.
Yes, you have. You in Atlanta buying dick.
You think I'm—
Everybody coming on this show, you buying dick off of them.
You think? Yeah, I'm just paying them and be like, hey, come on the show, and then I will No, how do I buy them on the show?
And then when they get here, you get them to laughing and opening up and shit. And then next thing you know, you're like, I got $50 for some dick, what's up? And then they selling you dick for $50.
You think those people that come on the show care for $50?
Yeah, they do.
So you would take $50 if I were like, hey, this ain't $50 shit. What, what's the price?
No, it ain't that.
$500? What?
I'm offended.
How much? What's the price?
It depends.
Oh, you selling now?
It depends on who buying it. I'm just like, I'm just like everybody else. Some people can't buy it. Some people can't buy it with unlimited funds, but some people, we might be able to work something out. Oh damn, some of these ladies out here rich as fuck. It's a lot of rich women in Atlanta. Yeah, and I don't know if they watch this show, so I want to price myself out the market.
Is it true somebody actually messaged me saying that you don't fuck with white women?
Who said that?
I don't know. It was like, because I said, ain't nobody just randomly sent you that. I will— no, because I asked the questions in the story, like, no, you haven't did questions. I will show you them. I'll show you.
Show it to me.
I'll show you.
I don't think nobody just randomly said that.
Where's my phone? I will literally show you. I don't know what it is, but that's what people are saying.
You've been in Atlanta how long?
3 years.
3 and a half years. Where we even be at that they got some white women?
I don't, I don't know.
I don't be nowhere that white women are. Here. Why don't he prefer Where do you put yourself amongst the best comedians of all time? This is a dude asking that. These dudes are at— listen to these. Is he in a relationship? That's a boy. Why he don't prefer white women? He always said he don't mess with y'all.
I, I didn't make it up.
You right. So what's the question?
That was the question. Why don't you mess with white women?
White women dangerous.
Like what? What's dangerous?
We live in the Dirty South. Where they catch you with a white lady, what happens?
You fall in love? What happens?
Ain't no telling what might happen. Your ass might just come up missing.
So you've never dealt with a white woman?
I ain't never had no white lady in my life like that. Really? Why you sound so intrigued?
Dr.
Umar, because it's like, no, I had some white pussy before, but I ain't been out here cuffed up with no white lady.
Is there a reason?
I don't know where the fuck they be at. I'm not looking for them. Oh, white women are very— they not— I don't— it's a liability.
And what's that?
Because it don't matter where you at, right? Like, wherever you at, if a white lady start crying, it just— it's gonna fuck the whole— it look It looks suspicious then.
You just—
there's—
you hate emotions, right? So she— what if she's happy? Always happy?
She on drugs. You see how easy it is to pinpoint this shit?
She on drugs.
I would be terrified to meet the white lady version of me, cuz I know she probably got a pending felonies, court dates, It's— have you seen the type of white women that we got over here in America? Yeah, it's like 5 different versions, and after that you don't get too much variety.
But what about like a European white lady?
Where I'm gonna meet a European white lady? Yeah, but I'm not going to Europe to go get no white lady and bring her back over here.
But they're here too, like there's Swedish women, there's like, you know, Russia is not here, but Swedish.
Yeah, where would they—
I'm just saying, if you're in LA doing a show, I'm in Atlanta. In Atlanta.
In Atlanta.
In Atlanta, there's Russians.
Where?
There's, um, Lithuanians.
But where though?
Sandy Springs.
When, when would I be in Sandy Springs?
Where, where would you be?
Where would I be in Sandy Springs that I could just pull up on a Lithuanian white lady?
She's in the hair salon.
Do you know how many fine-ass women I got to pass to get to Li— go to Sandy Springs? I gotta come all the way from the South Side. It's all kind of fine-ass waitresses and strippers and lawyers and doctors and fine-ass women that I'm gonna pass trying to get to Lithuania.
But you said you want like the baddest bitch.
Who said she was the baddest?
I don't know, maybe she was. I don't know, maybe she is. I don't—
like you said, the cultures would be too different.
Okay.
That make more sense.
What if she was Russian and she lived in Atlanta?
I don't know.
Well, let's go down the list. Maybe we'll convince you.
See, you already had a Black man. I couldn't fuck with you. I would only fuck with you if I was your first one, because now you think you know some shit and my bullshit ain't gonna work.
Well, also, let's state the obvious.
What?
I'm like a foot taller than you.
That's what probably what you like, is on some freaky shit.
Men who are a foot shorter than me? Yeah. I have never—
you have— how long you been dating tall men?
Since I was ever known myself.
And how many are still around?
A lot of them.
Where they at? They don't want you.
They're here.
Your type don't even fuck with you. You see what I'm saying? You've been dating tall men. You had a man that was 6'6". He is in the top 0.1% of tall men.
Yeah, but he doesn't have money. See, but if I call him—
call him what? He can't afford to come over here and see you. You see what I'm saying?
No, but there's—
what's more important?
What, money?
The height or the money?
The what?
The height or the money?
If you can only pick one, probably money, because height, like, for kids—
thank you.
For kids—
thank you very much.
My height will make sense. Like, my height—
well, my son is 6'6".
Really?
Yeah, when he turned 18, I might introduce you to him.
How old is he now?
17.
Oh shit, we got one more year to go.
So I'm really— I'm not— I don't know what the fuck— how the fuck that happened. So, oh no, you can't base your kids off what this man may or may not— it's a surprise, it's just random lotto.
Yeah, but like, let's say, because height— because if you think about it, if it's like 6'6" and then I'm 6'2", then the kid is going to be like 7 feet.
You 6'2"?
I'm 6'2".
I thought you were taller than that.
What, how tall do you think I'm at?
At least like 6'4". No, well, I have the big-ass shoes on. Okay.
No, I'm 6'2". But like, if I'm thinking about it, I like men who are like 6'2" to 6'4". That's my, that's my sweet spot.
Right. You know it's not a lot of them though, right?
I don't care. So you just— a lot of me either.
She is a lot of you.
Where?
Right there.
That's one me.
But I'm saying, you— if that's your standard, it's gonna be harder for you to have more options because you basing it off that.
I have so many options though. That's the problem. I think that's the issue. So, you know, like when you have 3 t-shirts, you can only wear— pick one of the 3. But when you have— there's a lot. There's a lot.
You're overwhelmed by it.
I'm overwhelmed.
Is that the issue?
I think that's the issue. If there was one man that came in and said, okay, Lesya, you're mine, I'd be like, okay, that's all it would—
he would just have to say it.
Just have to say it. But they're scared because they look at me and they see me and they're like, oh, she got, she got shit going on. We don't want that. Especially when you have a podcast or—
exactly. And they see your guests and they'd be like, oh, they flirting, she like him, and they lose interest. Yes, not intimidated.
Intimidated. Intimidated.
Nobody's intimidated. Where do y'all get this from?
There's one guy that I was talking to, like, I just met him, and then he saw the NBA player that was on and he was like, oh shit, he saw how you was acting when the NBA player was— I was actually—
you leaving parts out. He— I saw that you was on there, you was flirting.
I was not flirting.
You had the eyes, you was googly-eyed and shit.
I'm googly-eyed with you too.
No, you're not. They know your bullshit. They know what you like. They know you want to fuck with me. You don't have—
you just said, you just said you like motherfuckers who 6'6".
I'm not 6' nothing. I'm not even 6'7", baby. I don't give a—
what does that mean?
Nothing.
What are you out doing?
It just gets to keep kids going.
What are you, 5' what? What's your height?
5'8".
5'8"?
You know, yeah.
I was married once to a man that was 5'8", 5'7".
Oh, okay. He beat you?
Almost.
Almost. See, they angry. Your big ass in there, lay down. You had a very interesting life. You've been married at 22? Yeah, really? How long?
Like 2 weeks.
You got a divorce in 2 weeks?
Yeah, well, actually, I didn't annul it on time, so it took us almost a year to divorce.
Damn.
Yeah, California laws, don't recommend.
You get some money?
Hell no.
So you just out here, I listen, you just fucking whoever? No, you got to be consistent and relax. You can't go from 6'6" to marrying somebody that's 5'7".
I was 22, it was before I was—
You fucking your own credibility up. Your shit ain't matching.
What's my shit?
None of this shit.
I'm a woman, I'm allowed to change my mind.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
Stop believing that shit.
Who said— what am I supposed to believe?
Believe in yourself.
I just feel like I'm talking to somebody who's like running that, like, that meme page, you know, with quotes. Okay, do you have one faceless page?
You know, I'm about to get one though.
Yeah, you need to.
Who was the NBA player you had on here?
I thought you saw it.
I don't know him, I just saw the clip. I was looking through the page.
Oh, his name is Torrey Craig.
See, I don't You think I'm a fan like that? I don't know these motherfuckers.
He definitely knows you.
How you know?
Because I told him you're coming on.
Oh, okay. So he's still around. You see how you just told on yourself?
I'm allowed to be friends with people.
No, you're not.
I'm allowed to be friends with people. We connected on the show. We became friends.
Nobody wants to be your friend.
What? Why?
You're a woman.
And what does that mean?
Women ain't good friends.
What the fuck? I am the best friend you can possibly have, and I can prove it to you.
How?
Well, I have a friend, um, and he was having a hard day, and I was buying pastries, and I drove over to his house and I gave him my pastries. And I love sweets.
Y'all hear this bullshit? She think a motherfucker want some pastries.
His house and I gave him my pastries.
You think a motherfucker want pastries? That's being a good friend.
I just gave him pastries and I gave him a hug and I left and I was like, I just hope you're okay. A hug? A hug. I didn't even give him a hug when I was sitting by.
Wow.
I just drove off.
A hug and a donut.
But it was like—
we all want that. But because I'm so jealous.
Because you know how Black men are not allowed to have emotions, and I knew he was having a very hard day, and I was just like, I'm just gonna be there and I'm gonna sit there and talk. And, and it was great, and it just— I felt bad. And you know, whatever he said.
So this dude, your friend Tori, so if he was like, shit, hook me up with your homegirl, you'll do it?
You know what's funny? Nah.
Yes or no?
Absolutely not.
Because that dude had every right to be upset with you then.
Why?
Because, friend, you full of shit. You gonna fit in perfect in Atlanta. You got your bullshit game all the way down.
You know why? Because I actually had to— I was talking to Tyler about that. I had to trim a lot of my friends because a lot of friends, they want to be around me because of the people that I'm around.
I don't trust you. Tyler made a hell of an impression with you, and you brought him up like 4 times. I'm gonna tell him— he's telling me to hit you. He's not your brother. I know him, trust me. Don't you fucking say that.
I asked him to be my best friend and she said yes, I will be.
Of course he did. Of course he did.
No, there's no—
what the fuck? You're gonna take him some donuts? I don't know. That's what you doing? He's collecting black men out here like Infinity Stones. Oh my God, I ain't falling for— I'm not falling for it. Whoever watching this, I will bring you donuts.
To. What's your favorite donut?
I ain't telling you.
I will just bring all of them, then you can choose.
No, don't try to give me options. The illusion of choice. Take them donuts to Mr. NBA.
No, but it was funny because, you know, when I had Torrey on, a lot of women DM'd him, but they didn't DM me, saying how they love the show.
They like— they don't want to talk to you. They like him.
Exactly.
You want them to tell you that?
Yes.
No.
Tell me how you love the episode. The same shit you—
they didn't love the episode, they loved him. You see how this shit work?
That's what I'm saying.
That's how this shit work.
Yes, exactly.
But I love the episode and the person on it.
Apparently he's a good friend of mine. He doesn't even live in this country right now.
You know all of this shit. You know what?
Why?
I be FaceTiming, chopping it up, haven't FaceTimed, being friendly.
Texted though, but haven't FaceTimed. I can show you my phone.
All right, man. I'm not here for this shit, but you full of shit.
Why?
Because you out here being— putting the friends label on people.
What am I supposed to do?
Be direct.
What do I tell them?
Stop wasting people's time.
So I can't— like, if I— if I don't want to do nothing with them, I can't be friends with them?
Nope.
So I just let them pass? Like, be like, okay, I'm not interested, bye?
Yes. Why would you keep them around like you're gonna grow to be interested later?
But what if like we have good conversations? I'm not allowed to have friends? ChatGPT, a good conversation it is, but it like, it just, it just like plays into me and I hate it. I'm like, say something that's that you don't agree with me, like just tell me otherwise, and it doesn't do it.
And that's exactly what I'm telling you. You see how you can give them exactly what they want and they don't want that shit. Can you imagine that shit, bro? You the friend, you 6'3", you not knowing that the nigga 6'6". He more friends than you. He get donuts and hugs. All you get is a little weak-ass text with no punctuation.
That's what I did to you?
No.
Oh, but how do you know?
I knew you was full of shit before I came on here. Why? I'm testing myself right now. Why? Just wanted to see what you had going on up here.
Okay, what can you tell us?
I saw all the guests, I was like, why are these niggas going up here?
That's what Rod said too. He's like, how do you get all these people in here? But I, I just— God, I'm telling you, it is God. There are a couple that I had to pay. Yeah. Oh shit, no, I had a sponsor. I had a sponsor. Hey, shout out to Brittany.
You let her talk long enough, she gonna tell tell you exactly what the fuck going on. That's why you can't fuck with white women.
They gonna tell.
They gonna tell.
I'm Russian, don't call me white.
You Russian white.
No, I'm white.
You Caucasian Russian. The Russians are here.
No, how do you express love as a black man then?
Tell me, how do I express love?
Like, just because I want to see if we connect in that.
Well, first of all, Uh-huh.
You don't express love.
First of all, if you don't give me no hugs and no donuts, I know it ain't love.
I'm so sorry.
How do I express love as a Black man? I show up.
Really?
Yeah, I show up. So it's action. I'm like, when shit not— I'll never look at how shit is going when shit is going good. But when shit is crumbling and ain't nobody on your side, I'll be right there. I'll be right there through the thick and the thin. Like a lot of people that's in my life, we have been through so much real life shit, they know I ain't never going nowhere. Because I'm, I'm me, but I'm an Aries and I'm a Southern man and I don't believe in cutting people off. I feel like I don't really even know you until we fall out, and the way that you respond to us falling out lets me know if you really love me or not. I'm a good love reciprocator. I may not be the best at initiating love, but I try to show love through my presence and my being there and just being that person. Like, I'm gonna stay at your birthday party, I'm gonna be the last one to leave, I'm gonna make sure you get the most fucked up, I'm gonna be that friend that look out for you in them ways that everybody else didn't. I find my own value and I insert myself. You get what I'm saying?
Yeah, I feel like you You're, you're talking less, you're doing more. You show love through actions.
Through actions.
Oh, I love that. That's, that's how— same. That's literally— my mom did not tell me she loves me until 2020.
For real?
For real. I'm not even joking. This is like true story.
It probably was hard for her to—
it was very hard for her to tell.
Because in Russia, you know, life is hard. So she had to make sure that you was going to make it through the first phases of life before she— oh, she a fighter. I love you. I didn't know you was going to make it this for.
Yeah. And then I— so that was before, uh, when she left, she came here to see me, and it was right before COVID so I didn't see her 5 years after. But she was like, I'm so glad that I got to tell you that. So like, it was never like, oh, I love you, love you, bye. Like, no, it's— even now it's very—
but she showed you, you felt the love.
Oh my, she was crying. It was like the whole thing. And I was like, oh, she— my mom's an Aries too. My mom was born April 4th. I know you were born—
April 2nd.
Yeah. So my mom was 4/4, my dad is 5/5, May 5th.
So that's dope.
Yeah, so my mom is like, she's very like, she's very strong. She's like, she owns a business. She's very like, I get all this masculine shit from her. Oh, she's always said, don't ever rely on no man for money, you know, always rely on yourself.
You shouldn't, because you, the way you buying dick, you, you gonna need your own money.
I, now I'm like, shit, maybe I should buy it at this point. Give me a little boy toy.
Probably end up being cheaper for you in the long run, because if you do the shit right, you'll give all the money back.
Really? I want to build with somebody.
Build what?
My empire. My Talk Less Empire.
Really?
Yeah.
But this show don't work if you get in a serious relationship.
Why?
Because ain't nobody gonna come no more.
What the fuck?
Then I'm just about to come up here and hang out with you.
What if Shaq is my boyfriend?
He don't give a fuck. You think you're gonna be his only girlfriend?
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. I'd be like, okay baby, can we have this one on? Can we have this one on? This one on? He'd call them and they'd—
he would get aggravated with you asking him so many questions. Men don't like to be asked a lot of questions.
No, I'll just be like, I will just give him a list of who I want.
You think you're gonna keep doing this if Shaq— Shaq probably won't even let you work. He don't like his woman to work.
Okay, well maybe somebody else. I don't know, maybe not Shaq.
Maybe Tori.
Maybe somebody What the fuck?
I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry, Tori. I'm just putting you with this.
Poor Tori.
Oh, shout out. Maybe Tyler.
Tyler, your best friend. He's my best friend.
When I leave, I'm gonna call him like, hey bro, did she bring you some donuts and a hug? Just checking. No, no. Did I, did I miss something?
Tyler put me on so much game though. Tyler was—
what'd he teach you?
God-given, I promise you, because I told him this whole story before I even— so I found him from the episode that he did with Mandy and Luwil, and because I was dropping Mandy's episode, her first part.
Shout out to Mandy, love Mandy, she was hilarious, I love her, she's amazing.
And, um, I was having like a horrible day and I turned on that episode, just— I don't even know for what reason I went because it was after I did the show. I was just— I saw it, I was like, let me see, 'cause I've never— Lou Will is coming on too, but I've never seen his episodes.
Yeah.
So I was like, let me click on it and let me watch it. And the first 5 minutes, Tyler is just like, you know, throwing jokes out. And I'm like, this guy is hilarious. Who is this?
Right.
So I type it out, you know, who it is, Tyler Chronicles, go on Instagram, follow him, DM him, which I never do. I never DM people first. I like, you know, I need to at least like, they gotta follow me back so I know that it actually goes through. So I DM him and then he responds in like 10 minutes and I was like, I would love for you to come on my show because you're really funny. And the more I'm watching, I'm like, this is hilarious. And so he responds and I'm like, okay, here's my number. Let's just talk on the phone. So we talk on the phone and then he talks to me about YouTube. And mind you, this is the time when I'm—
Hey, fuck the rest of that story. Let's talk about something else. Who gives a fuck? I want to hear how y'all became best friends.
Oh, you jealous now?
No, I don't give a fuck.
You jealous now? Okay, so then he puts me on with this guy.
Are we going to continue for real?
Yeah. Okay, well, fuck that. This is how you express love. You just say, fuck it.
Fuck love.
Fuck love. There's no love. Yeah, man. Okay. Community. You don't care about the community. What about celebrations, cookouts and shit? What you mean celebrations in Black culture?
Oh, we throw the best parties.
Okay.
And we don't even need a big reason to celebrate. We're just, whatever, it's Thursday.
Okay.
Shit, it's warm outside. Let's kick it.
Okay.
Block parties. We, we, we love to party and celebrate because life is so stressful for us. So we celebrate the small victories. The big ones, the small ones, the little achievements.
The—
we don't— it don't even have to be graduation. We'll throw a party because you going to school. That's how we get down.
Like, a big deal.
We love a good celebration.
There you go. See, same thing. We love a good celebration too. What about kids' table? Do you guys have a kids' table?
Yep.
Okay, we have a kids' table.
I think y'all got that from us though. What you know about the Moors?
The Moors? I don't know nothing.
Oh, I can tell.
Can you tell me what it is?
I mean, I don't have time. You have to—
what do you mean? We got plenty of time.
You have to get on ChatGPT and ask about the Moors and what they did.
You know what I'm jealous of?
Yes.
You guys are— well, I, I guess it's like, it's not even the Russian thing. It's like, uh, you know when, when, when people get together and start dancing and singing and all that stuff, and I'm like, damn, y'all don't do that? No, we do that, but like, you know, because I grew up in Russia and I grew up on a lot of Russian music and Russian stuff, Russian dances and all that. When I—
what's a Russian dance?
Oh, there's a— there's, there's like a very traditional cultural Russian dance.
What's it called?
It's called—
it's like just, just, um, keeping it a secret. You don't want to tell me what it's called.
I forgot the name of it, but I used to actually— my mom sent me to, to learn when I was like 6 years old, and I cut the uniform and I hated it. I like— because, you know, we didn't have money, so I knew if I cut the uniform, I'll never grow up poor. Little girl grew up in a one-bedroom apartment. One-bedroom apartment was 400 square feet. It wasn't even like—
how many people?
4 of us.
Very black, very black.
When I tell you we didn't have no food to the point where like, I'm not even talking about like rice grains, we had nothing.
Like zero, zero. No bread.
Like no bread.
What was your struggle meal?
Struggle meal?
Yeah.
Okay, so it would be, it kind of like—
you can earn major points right here, so think about it hard.
No, so it would be, it would be like either pasta, but pasta with like butter, so you just put butter in there. Like, but it's like, like, like the mac and cheese that you have here, but it would be like, like that pasta and then you put butter in there. That's it.
You ever had a fried egg sandwich?
Fried egg sandwich? Yes.
Okay. Okay.
So also like the, the, you know how like we would do, we would, would melt the cheese in the, in the microwave. Like we would put the bread, butter, and cheese would melt the, the cheese in there and it would be like our, you know, like that would be like such a snack snack.
Like that's just cheese bread.
It's literally just cheese.
Y'all might have got that from us too, bro. You shaking your head? They might. I think they got that one from us though.
But like, it would be so bad, and then my mom would not— my mom would not eat. And that's where I get it from. I don't like to eat much, so like, I eat like one meal a day because I, I think you don't have to live like that no more. I know, I know, but it's like, I, I used to, because I got used to the feeling of hunger so much. I know, this, this is what people don't know about me.
You racking up points right now and don't even know it.
And So, and we would go to our grandma's house right across, cuz like we lived so close, but grandma's house meaning like a condo.
She ain't have shit either.
She, no, but my grandma worked at the factory and so at the factory they would give groceries there. And so like she would always have food to eat, but we wouldn't have the food to eat. So like it would be me and my brother would go and eat at her house, but like my, my parents, they would not most of the time. Yeah. And, and if they didn't have any food, there would be a neighbor that they could go to and then they would eat at the neighbor's house.
Who, your grandparents?
Yeah, so it's like, it's a very community-based— so like whenever in your condo, you know, all your neighbors, and if you're hungry, you can always knock on the door, you can say, hey, like, can I get some salt? Or like, I'm hungry, can I have some food? So the thing about Russians though, like, you just got like 12 points.
Damn, I'm rocking because that sounded like some real project shit, like some real hood shit. Like, we hungry, go over your grandma house, grandma ain't got nothing, me glad, can we get Yeah, y'all been watching us.
Really?
You trying to make it seem like we just was doing this shit, but y'all was watching us, bro.
Probably.
Yeah, y'all, your culture been studying my culture.
Yeah, well, I feel like we went to space first, so like, you know, we put some—
I— well, we can argue, we can argue if you want to. I mean, because, you know, America, we were definitely in space first.
No, it was not the reality of it.
But who was the Russian who went to space first?
You don't even know your people.
I didn't hear how you said it because you said it with the fucking accent. I thought she was cussing at me. What the fuck you say? You gonna—
what? Who?
Yeah, I've been to Madison Square Garden too, watching you. I have.
Can you take me there?
I don't know, we'll have to see when Tori has a game there.
He plays in Australia now.
Oh, okay.
Well, maybe, but his friend plays there.
We could bring your best friend Tyler. Yeah, make it, make it a group.
He promised me that he's gonna come. His friend, he's gonna—
he promised you?
Yeah.
He already making promises?
Yeah. You believe that shit, huh?
You believe that shit?
You better do it because I'm just saying, do you believe my friend? I'm gonna be like, hey, he promised me.
See, that's why you be getting your heart broke so much.
Are you gonna be a man and hold your word?
Like, are you gonna You believe in shit.
I believe in shit. I know I'm so bad with that. I hate that I believe people and I'm just— I'm so nice. But then, okay, so the projects, yes. Okay, it's kind of similar to the projects, but like, what y'all call it?
Well, it's just like, um, is it just the building or does the building have a name? What's it called? Uh, what does it translate to?
It's like, um, it's like the meaning of it is basically like, um, It's— so what it is, is it's the— back in the Soviet Union, they build those little condos, right? And they all look similar. So like everybody had the same amount of space and the same kind of like the whole—
how many people live in this building?
Oh, sheesh. Uh, so on the floor, on the— so it has like blocks, right? So the, the building has a like 5 to 6 blocks usually, and it would be like 4 apartments on the, on the, on one floor in the block. So, and then usually they would have a room. So like if people had very rarely that they would have more than like one bedroom is considered two rooms there.
Okay.
So like it's very rare when people would have more than 2 to 3 rooms, like 3. That's like you, you rich.
You ballin'.
Yeah. Or like you had a really big family and so the government gave you a lot of like space for that.
Okay.
So we had— we grew up in a one bedroom, which was like it had two rooms. So my parents slept in the living room and then me and my brother in the, in the, in the room. So I grew up sleeping in the same room as my brother. Yeah.
That's—
hey, I'm telling you, this shit is crazy.
Hey, I ain't know y'all had projects in Russia. What's your building called though?
Like, I'll show you the, the way it looks. It's like you would be like, damn, that's— that looks scary.
And they like all over the— like all over the place.
Yeah, they, they are.
So it's like, y'all ever get into it with like some kids from another building?
Oh yeah.
Oh, hey, hey, hell yeah. So like, what's the name of your building?
It's just the number. It was like, like number 5 or whatever.
Number 5. So y'all didn't fuck with the people in 3?
No. Yeah, like it's—
it would be very, very Black of y'all. That is very Black of y'all.
Or like, you know, when you go like— so swimming was a big thing, right? Because like would have the swimming pools.
Who had the best swimmers in what building?
Ours, the fuck.
So 5 was—
yeah, okay. So but it was like, it was like a couple— like it would be a bunch of kids that go from whatever, like neighborhood, right? Go to the swimming pool. And we were rivals with the other swimming pool. Like, we don't fuck with them because now— no, we're on different teams.
Y'all pool dirty and shit?
Like, there's no— like, they had the pool, like, they had the cleaning stuff because they were—
they were actually— who had the better pool?
We had a better pool.
Okay. Because y'all talk shit to them like, y'all pool ain't shit.
Yeah, of course.
Very black.
That was— that was like the whole thing.
Yeah.
The rivalry was crazy. That's— that's— that's how— that's why—
did it go to all sports or was it just—
oh, no, all sports. All sports, because I did swimming and tennis.
Okay.
And so tennis was the same thing. Like, there's only two complexes there, and like the other complex, you don't, you know, hell no, you don't talk to them. They're rivals. Like, you don't— there's no—
I'm starting to see why you said what you said. There's a lot of similarities. Y'all got some of that shit from us though.
But also, like, okay, so your parents, they were working most of the time, right? So you didn't have babysitters?
No, we just never had babysitters though.
Well, that's not exactly so. Like, in where I'm from, you're either your grandparents or older siblings, or you're just alone in the house.
But see, I'm from the South though, so where we live is all family around. So whether somebody was at home or not, we didn't really have babysitters. Nobody ever babysat us. We had house keys in like second, third grade.
Oh, you know, another thing I was watching one of the episodes that you did, I forgot with who, but you were talking about the side tooth missing.
Yeah. And is that a thing in Russia?
It is, but it also made me think about the whole how like they were pulling teeth in childhood. How were they pulling teeth in childhood?
And like, what do you mean?
Like, how was it? So, you know, like you have the, the, the milk teeth or whatever, like the first teeth that fall out, right? How would they pull them? Um, you don't go to a dentist to get the pulled.
Yeah, the fuck we do.
You do?
Yeah.
Oh, y'all are weak.
What y'all do?
So we would have like, um, we would have like, uh, what's it called, the, uh The little string, they would put the string on like a loose tooth.
Yeah. Oh man, we did shit like that too. Okay. But I thought you meant like y'all never went to the dentist and shit.
Oh no, we did. But like, because it's free, there's free healthcare there.
Yeah.
So it's different.
You had to flex that on me because I'm American, right? Oh, you know it's free?
Yeah, it's free. Oh, okay. You know, there's a world— it exists, like free healthcare, free education.
Shut the fuck up.
Yeah, you don't have to pay for it. It's just, it's a right. It's a given right. I know, it don't matter. Crazy. But how would they pull it? What were those?
Same way, like a string, or like—
I remember it would be like something, an apple, shit like that. Yes, eating an apple. But we don't have two fairies though. That's not a thing.
Once again, very Black of y'all. You thought I was gonna say it, but hey, we don't either. We don't either. We don't either. Sometimes you might wake up, your tooth gone, and your mama say some shit like, I got you Friday when I get my check.
Yeah, what the fuck do you get? Like, it's just, it's a natural process that's gonna happen anyways. You don't get shit for that.
Hey man, but it's when you're a parent, it's sometimes it's good to, to play the game and let you, because that's how kids develop their imagination, and you can use it as leverage. See, like Santa Claus. That make your kids act right for like 2 months. You start bringing that Santa Claus shit up like, hey, hey, tell Santa Claus, okay, okay. And you could use it as a threat. It's leverage. And then the Tooth Fairy, you'd be like, okay, you know it's gonna be a couple weeks and you making these pranks, like, all right, oh, okay, you better sit down. The Tooth Fairy, okay, they don't bring nothing to bad little kids. Shit like that. It's just a threat.
See, it's a lot of superstitions though in Russia. It's not really There's a lot of threats. Threats are always— but threats are for good grades. So like you have to have good grades, or at the end, like, cuz usually you'd have some sort of little like celebration for, you know, after the quarter. Or like my grandparents, they would give me like, you know, $10 at the end. And so like you can use that money to like buy something. And so if you don't get good grades, you don't get no money, you don't get no nothing, right? And then like sometimes my grandma would be like, oh, because you don't want to study, you want to, you want to go to prison? So I'mma feed you prison food. So like, but it would be prison food, would be bread and water. Like, it would not be nothing else.
I can see that. So for like couple days, she'd be like, oh, that's kind of extreme, but I could see where she going with it.
Punished, you know what else we did? We would go in the corner. So there was like a corner, you would have to stand in the corner, and if you did some really bad things, you would— she would put rice on the, on the floor, and you'd have to sit on your knees on the rice in the corner, facing the corner.
I've heard of that, but I can't say that I've actually experienced that. You know, we didn't get punished. We just got that ass whooped. And you might lose some privileges, but you ain't about to stand in no corner. You getting your ass whooped.
Oh no. I told my grandma that I don't appreciate the ass whooping. I said, I'm going to leave the house. And then she was like, lowkey, I kind of believe her because she knew I was going to leave the fuck out. I, every day I was like plotting, how am I going to leave this house? I'm like, I literally had, I was like, okay, if I were to be homeless, I would need a tent and I need to go to the park. I need to do this and this. I'm like, fuck, but then shower. So like, I was like planning this whole thing ahead. Like, if I were to leave the house, where would I go?
What did your family say about you moving to Atlanta? Atlanta? Yeah.
Oh no, they were with it. My mom came here. My mom loved it here too.
For real?
Yeah, because it's very— it's the nature is very similar to Russia, and it's just, it's so green.
And do they look at it like you just— like she just exploring herself or some shit?
No, they know they can't say nothing to me. I'm gonna do whatever I want to do.
Okay.
They just— I think it hit my parents, like my grandparents and my mom, that I actually left, left for real, for real. Yeah, just like a couple years ago. And now they're like, why don't you— why are you— they think I'm a rebel, like I don't want to do things normal way.
That's what I was thinking too.
She—
my grandma is like, it's proven a point.
Why do you— why don't you just want to have a corporate job and just like sit down?
I thought you did that already.
I— yeah, I did that. But in her mind, that's the only way to like live life, to work, because she worked for a factory for like 60-something, whatever, 50-something years. Yeah, she worked at a factory, the same factory, same job for 50-something years. Retired.
Doing that.
Oh, but, but in her mind, that's like the normal thing, right? So she's like, why do you want to have a podcast? Why, why are you doing all of this? Like, it's always— but she watches every episode.
That's dope.
She doesn't understand shit, but she watches.
Your grandma, she's still around?
Yeah, she's 82.
Shout out to you.
81, actually. Okay. I was born when she was 50. Damn. I was born— yeah, I was, I was her gift.
Okay.
So she ain't going nowhere until I see her next time.
That's what's up.
Yeah, she watches everything. She's like, she's trying to learn English still. She does not understand a damn thing.
Let me ask you this, what was the other part of the pod? Because I'm sure the podcast you did was like long as hell, but that was the only part they got mad about?
About the Black people?
Yeah.
Yeah. That was the only thing, the exotic part, that I called black men exotic.
Oh, I can't.
Apparently it's an— did you— do you feel offended?
No, of course not. I don't know who you get your— you can't let other people speak for us. That's what I do on podcast. I just go out and I advocate for the betterment of black men. That's all I am. That's what— that's my service. That's what God put me here for, is to dispel the rumors and stereotypes about Black men.
That's it. I don't know how it happened, but I think it's just when, when I came to the, to the States, I was like, what is this divide between people? It's crazy.
You mean to tell you? Yeah, they just been hating on us for the longest. They just hate us, just naturally. They hate the way we do everything. And it's not just like regular hate, it's like extreme, extreme hate. Like, I want to kill you and weigh your body type hate. We can't be left alone. Every time we try to get away from these people, they come fuck with us. They come find us. We can go build our own shit, they're gonna come. They, they obsessed with us. But they won't admit it. It's an obsession.
It's an obsession.
It's an obsession.
That's what they said about me, that I fetishize Black men.
For real?
I know. I don't know.
Stop running from it.
From what?
From the fetish? Yeah, just own it.
But fetish—
that kills the whole argument.
But what's the fetish like, in a good way or in a bad way? Because I feel like fetish is something that you like and it's something that's unique to you. But I feel like people put a negative connotation on it.
I think that's too extreme. I think— I thought a fetish was some extra, extra freaky shit.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, you want to be peed on or something?
That, that's right. That's what I'm saying. Like, that's what they're— but that's not the reality with me liking Black men. It's not. I don't want them to pee on me.
I'm just saying, like, when you say fetish, I'm thinking of like the category that's gonna come up, like latex and pee and feet and getting tickled and shit like that. Do you know the freaky freaky shit?
The tickle part? Oh, that's freaky.
I guess, I guess it's just your preference, right?
I just, I like what I like. I mean, I don't, I don't know why people are so bothered by it. And you know what's crazy? It's a lot of times I'll hear, oh, you want to get married? You need to date a white man. He's going to marry you in like 2 months. Okay.
You believe that?
Hell no. Why would he marry me in 2 months? And what's the difference?
I don't know. White people do like to get married fast though.
For what?
Like, I think it's because, hey, let me get married to you before I find out that you ain't the shit I think you are, so you don't ruin the fantasy.
And then you're just gonna rise the numbers of divorce?
Probably.
Because that's what's gonna happen, because they're gonna, you know, the divorce rates are really high. Yeah, I'm a part of the statistics.
Yeah, you out here making it, you fucking it up.
Have you been married? No, you don't want to be.
That's why I'm single now, because I've been out here fucking with who I like. I should have been fucking with who liked me. My preferences is the reason why I'm single.
What's your preference?
Don't even fucking matter at this point. But what—
okay, so you're working towards something else. What is it?
I'm working on my— I'm— this is my rebuilding era.
Everybody's rebuilding.
I'm rebuilding. I went through a storm. Oh, the whole fucking tornado came through and wiped everything up.
Like what?
It was bad, like a natural disaster.
What happened?
We had to start the whole show over. That's what I'll tell you when I come back. That's a whole nother show.
You gonna come back?
I'll come back just to tell you that story.
Just to tell a story?
No, this is a very refreshing conversation.
But what if you're gonna forget?
I won't forget. Rod has it on timestamp. I don't know, probably not before Tyler, but I'll spin the block.
I see you're a jealous man.
You have a problem with Torrio. That's why he's laughing, because he know I've been knowing him and Tyler for the longest. Like, it's so many stories that intertwine. It's just another one.
Oh, so now I'm gonna be a part of the conversation?
No, I'm sure from different vantage points, probably.
I don't mind when people talk about me, actually. I'm not— I'm like, yeah, keep talking.
You ain't gave us shit to really talk about. We don't have anything, really. No, I mean, he probably got the donuts and the hug, but that's it.
Tyler never got the donuts.
You're not a good friend. You show favoritism and it's so obvious.
I just said to Tyler that he's like a— he's like sent to me from God.
You're right.
I think that's a compliment.
I love that for y'all.
You want to be a part of that?
Nope. I feel like you feel like you already dropped the location on where the Lithuanian women at. Now I could just ride up to Sandy Springs and you're gonna go up there, go get me something from Lithuania.
I'm so confused. Why is it— I don't understand what is the thing with Black men and them not willing to share their emotions. I want them to be vulnerable.
That shit'll get you knocked off out here.
For what?
We can't be vulnerable. We already have enough shit to worry about. Can't be vulnerable. That's the moment they get you.
Who gets you?
Because the moment you get vulnerable, that's when you start falling for some shit that you know better, like Why let— why I blow— this shit happen to me? How I end up in this position? Because you open up, you fuck around, and you just express yourself just a little bit. Then you hit that shit again and you'd be like, never again.
You hit that shit again?
Never.
Never? You don't double dip?
Yeah, that's, that's a whole nother story. I have, I have spent all the blocks. If I fuck with you once, I'll fuck with you 172 times. I'll give you another chance. I have no problem. Like, you've been that fuck up this time, then you fuck it up, I'm like, one more chance.
So that makes no sense.
You're saying something about the pain.
You like the pain?
I guess. I guess it is.
Ah, so you don't want to get healed, you just want to go—
fuck no. I have achieved so much broken that if I get healed, I won't be able to do none of the shit that I'm good at. 'Cause I won't have no purpose no more. That's so sad. No driving factor. It's not. It's poetic. The same way Batman can't kill the Joker because they literally the same person.
Right.
It's, that's how I look at it.
So you think you can be funny if you are healed?
Would I even wanna be?
Maybe.
I might not have the same desires.
But what did you—
I may take up gardening full time. Or podcasting or therapy. I don't know.
You do the podcast already.
What I'm saying, it'll be this type of shit.
Oh, you just— wow.
That's why I do shit like this, to keep me like level. I have to come on other shows to talk about shit I wouldn't normally get to talk about in more relaxed environments, because when I'm around comedians all the time, it's like everybody's on 100. But then I can come in here, chill with a white lady from Russia, talk about my feelings, and donuts and shit. Just shit that it would never come up in my realm of possibility.
I still want to know how you feel. I really want to get down to that. Why do you— how do you feel?
About what?
Just in general.
I feel great.
So every day you're like, I feel great?
I wake up every day and I live my dreams. I have everything that I want. If not, I could buy it. I'm happy. I don't have to explain myself to anybody. I eat great food. I sleep in a great bed. I drive a nice car. I have the best fragrances. I have the best experiences. My friends are dope. I could travel the world. I have the, the world is my oyster. Where can you find the words? And then it's like, I'm living in a moment where anything can happen. I could get a phone call tomorrow and make $50 million, or I could get a phone call tomorrow and hang out with the girl in my dreams, or date my crush. I, I have so many options. I feel like nothing is off limits. I've, I've cracked the code. I know how to get exactly what I want out of life. And there were times where I didn't think that I would be in this position. I struggled. I sat there and I just brainstormed, and I thought about this shit over and over and over and over again, to the point where I just hated even thinking about it. I manifested so much that I even overshot the shit that I even dreamed about. I'm living beyond my wildest dreams. So how could I not get up every day and look at the sun and just be like, ah, fucking won. I won. I won. I could do whatever the fuck I want. I can walk outside and get in the pool right there, 3 steps from my door. I can just jump in the pool. I, I'm living so fucking— I had to go to get swimming lessons. I had a pool, couldn't even fucking swim. When I go— when I get— when I go to the bank, they say, hello, Mr. Miller. As soon as I hit the door, they don't have to say, what's your— put your card in. The whole world has changed. Everything is fucking dope. Everything is dope. I don't have no complaints.
Now you just shared how—
that's how I feel.
That's amazing. You just shared that. How did that feel? Was it good? Did you like sharing that?
I have never shared that. I don't want people to know those things about me because it's none of their fucking business.
But I love that.
But it's not because of things, of stuff. It's just an internal feeling. That's how I feel.
And that's the whole thing. See, this is where I think we have a little bit of a disparity with Black culture and Russian culture because we were not allowed to dream.
Why not?
I don't know. It was just never a thing.
Like, nobody will stop you.
But that's again, again, your culture is your environment that you're in. So for me, my grandma would always say, to this day, she's like, don't speak things before they happen. And I'm like, what the— now it makes no sense because now I'm like, everything that's around me, I also manifested that.
Everybody's manifesting, huh? You have to though, because once you take something from your mind and you speak it into the physical world, and then you write it down and you put the plan into motion, and then you got a goal to work towards. So that's how things start happening. And in the process of working toward the things that you want, you learn how to get the things that you want. Because it, you know, as a kid and you growing up and you get in the middle of your life, you start thinking, damn, the only way I can have that is if I just buy it, not knowing that there's other ways that you can obtain the things that you want that don't even require you to fucking buy shit.
Then this is how I get all my gifts on. I don't buy them.
You bought some of them.
They come on because I manifest them and I ask them and they just show up.
Ain't it? That's not it.
Got you, got you, got you. Okay, okay, I manifest too. Also, you can't point fingers like that. They say it's like not the good thing. You can only point like with a hand.
Oh really?
Yeah.
I don't know, you're not supposed to point at people anyway.
Yeah, sorry.
Especially people you don't— you know what I But if you formal, I apologize, I wasn't pointing at you, but I apologize. You can point at me because I'm the one.
Oh, you're the one? Absolutely. You are the one though.
Absolutely.
How did you build the whole business thing?
How do I build my business? Yeah. Um, first you need a really good idea.
Yeah.
And then you need some really good people around you.
Okay.
And then you gotta stop talking and start doing.
Talk less, do more.
Talk less, do more.
Mm-hmm.
Then you gotta stick with it. And then you gotta persevere.
Mm-hmm.
And then you still gotta be educating yourself on all the things that you don't know. And you gotta bring some more good people around you who can teach you some things that you don't know.
Mm.
That's how you build a business.
I love it.
Yeah. You gotta take your ideas. And work them. You got to work the shit out of— and you can't abandon your original plan. You got to stay with it. You got to grind this shit all the way down to a nub. Grind that shit to a nub all the way. Stay in it. And then you got to do it again. Then you got to keep doing it. And you got to keep doing it. And you got to hang in there. And you got to keep educating yourself. And then you got to take the little money that you made and then you got to put that back into the business. Oh yeah, because if you made $15, now the goal is to take that $15 and turn it into $45, and then the $45 into $90, and the $90 into $180, and the $180 into the $360. You got to just keep flipping that shit. It ain't going to be a lick, like you going to take $15 and then make 10 G's. You got to just keep flipping. It's, it's, it's the re-up. It's the re-up game.
Where'd you learn that?
From the game. Some things you can't, you can't be taught. You just have to learn them yourself. Life experiences.
But you're— that's, that's facts though. That's facts.
And you got to be ready to make— take some chances at any moment, you know what I'm saying? You got to be ready to take some chances, and you got to understand your leverage and your value. So what you lacking financially, you got to know where you can make up that gap. Like, hey, I can't do this, I can do this, I can't pay for this, but I can offer this. And you got to learn how to exchange your services.
So I got to buy less pastries and then—
Dick. Stop buying so much dick. I'm just fucking with you. You buy as much as you want.
No, as much as you want. I've never done that.
Until your heart is content.
My heart is not content. And also, you know, people say—
what, what do people say?
Can't have too much dick because, you know, then you become a—
you gotta stop listening to people. I want you to tune people out for the next 6 months and just rock out by yourself. People got you fucked up.
I actually am doing this right now because they did get me fucked up. People were saying so many things about what I should do and what I should not do, and it got me to the point now that I have to to start over.
Why did you even consider them?
I think it's because I didn't have enough confidence in me and I was just seeking it. Again, it's— it comes from my childhood because it's like you're not really bred to be like great. You have to—
that's one thing you could use from my culture. You got to believe in yourself.
Exactly.
Even if you don't have shit to go with the belief. Yeah, it starts with you.
Exactly. So now that's where it's like, okay, tune it all out. It's not really about— and it's always like you meet somebody and you're like, oh, they're bigger than you, they're better than you. I, I used to—
you don't be meeting a lot of people bigger than you.
Hmm, maybe not physically, but like, I have so much respect for people.
Don't. Okay, because that don't matter.
Exactly.
So that's going in, you're going to end up treat— trying to treat them in a way that they don't even— people are people, right?
And that's what I had to come to terms with, that people are people.
That's it.
That's— and that, I think that was the biggest thing for me where I was like, oh wait, putting people on pedestals and shit. Yeah, nope. Because again, that's, that's a cultural thing. And then now I'm like, wait, hold up, we breathe the same air, we walk the same streets, we're good. We do.
I believe that shit at a certain point in my life when, you know, they— the saying they say, man, we put our pants on one leg at a time, just like me, you know what I'm saying? People say that. Then I saw a motherfucker who put their pants on with both legs and I was like, see, shit is different. I didn't know that.
Yeah, I mean, that's the technicality, but yeah.
And I'm always thinking about the what-ifs and the other side because I seen somebody make a bowl of cereal and put the milk in first and then the cereal. And I was like, I, I did— it fucked my mind up because I thought we were all living the same life, but we not really.
You didn't— you've never seen that before? But it's good to see though, because you now you get a different perspective. You're like, damn, right?
Because it gave me an example of what I don't want to be. I don't want to be—
were you good at math?
Sometimes it depends, like money math. No, no, no, like, like algebra. Yeah.
Equations and stuff.
Yeah, like, why the fuck we need algebra?
See, this is where my mind is so messed up, because I'm so logical. I'm like, okay, and I know the steps, and I try to follow the steps because it's like, just—
that's what used to fuck me up, because sometimes I could get the answer but I couldn't, like, explain.
Yeah, you're like, oh, I just— I, I feel—
and I wasn't good enough at it for people to think it was just a natural talent. It's like, you had to cheat, where's the work? I was like, ain't no work, bitch, it's 8, it's just 8. Why is it 8? I don't know. I looked at the shit and my mind said 8 and I went with 8.
This technically now it works, right?
Right.
You have a degree in bullshitting.
Thank you.
Same. Me too. I went to school for that. Paid a lot of fucking money for that.
But I didn't. Oh, I didn't.
Well, I did. My mom did. But yeah, I— that's what I got a degree in.
Bullshit. What do you have a degree in?
Communications and media. Funny enough that my mom was like, what are you doing with your life?
Communicating.
She was like, you know how to communicate, why the fuck are we paying this money for that? She was confused. She was like, go study economics and finance. That was like her whole thing.
She's like, you should have. That's a good field to be in.
Oh my God, no.
That's how you learn how to flip that money.
No, you don't learn that.
All right.
Did you go to school?
For a little bit.
For a little bit? Would you study?
Business. And that's it, business management. But then one day my teacher walked me out to the back door and was like, you don't need to be here. And she was kind of like, you got it. No, she was telling me to leave because you were bad, or not? Because she just knew that I was better at other shit than this shit.
That's true. I never understood the whole business. I, I didn't understand why would you go to school to study business when you don't have a business, right? Because it's like, you don't need a business, you need to run one. But that's what I'm saying, like, if you were going to school, you're learning all those concepts that you don't even know where to apply to. But when you have a business now, you're like, oh, okay, there is marketing, there is accounting, right? You know, there is payroll.
I think that the whole concept of going to college right after high school is kind of fucked up because you need to go out and have some life experiences so you can know exactly what you want to do. Plus, you'll be a little older and you'll, you'll take the shit more serious.
But also knowing at 18 years old what you want to do and who you want to become is diabolical. No 18-year-old knows what they want to do and who they want to be, right? But you know, it is what it is. I, I just, I didn't mind it because I moved from Russia. Well, I was in Australia and then I went to the UK and then I just gonna live all over the world. I lived all over the world before I turned 18. I traveled a lot.
Yeah.
We were—
what's your favorite place?
Australia.
Why?
I lived there. I just— it was so beautiful. It's like, I remember the memory of sitting on the cliffs and watching the sunset of like in the ocean in front of you. It's just— it's so different. And then like sometimes you would walk in this— on the streets in the morning and be kangaroo sitting there.
It's that white people shit.
It's— it's so—
I thought you was going to say something, but you hit me with all white people shit right there.
What was I going to say?
Sunset on the ocean and Kangaroos.
You don't watch the sunset?
Fuck no.
Why not? Where do you manifest things?
In the strip club when I'm down to my last drum.
How much money do you throw on strippers?
It depends on the stripper.
Would you give them a lot if they're bad?
It's not about— see, that's the thing, it's not about how much money you do it, it's about how you give them the money. When do you give them the money?
How do you give them money? Do you like—
I'm like, the guys who's sitting there and they just throwing money, they bullshitting.
Okay, what do you do?
They— that's a show for the club, for the guys in the club.
How do you do it properly?
Give me a little spot over there and grab me some wings.
Okay.
And then like find my little favorite dancer, keep her over there. Yeah. Ain't no— ain't no show off. Hey, come on.
Does she talk to you?
Of course.
Is that the biggest part, or is it the dance?
Of course.
The talking?
Yeah.
Oh, do you tell her like your life story?
What do you want to know? It's not about that.
What are you talking about?
What's she doing?
What's she doing?
What's she doing in the moment and what I wanted to do.
Oh, so you, you don't hear that story? I'm 19 years old, I'm trying to pay for this.
No, no, that's, that's lame shit. Okay, that's, that make all the strippers kind of stay away from you because you, you, you fucking up the money. So they got a fast hustle, so they like to be on the move. The whole thing is Like I said, it's not about how much money that you throw, it's about in the manner that you give her the bread. So once you let her know that she not wasting her time and you actually do have some money to spend, that takes the whole experience off of there.
Okay, what do you like for them to do? Like, do they need to do like a handstand and shake their ass in your face?
I don't know, I don't know. Because it's like, if I'm going to go in there in the environment that I'm going to be spending money for, like, you know, something that I can't personally have, I'm going to like I'mma play more into the fantasies, like, you feel me? Like, go get me one. Like, tonight I might want to— give me the— who got the fattest ass in here? Go get the fattest ass. Or, you know, like, who the best dancer? Cuz that's a, that's a different thing. It's a lot of strippers, but it ain't a lot of dancers. Cuz the ones who dance, them the ones who had the whole club. Like, she fucking that shit up. So just depends on the mood or the club. If I'm at a little ratchet club, I want a little ratchet ass stripper, little hood-ass stripper who might go get me some weed out the back or something. But if I'm in like Magic City, you know, of course I want— hey, who the prettiest at work tonight? Bring me the pretty— hey, go, you know who I like, go get Lil Red, Lil Shawty, you know what I'm saying? So I do it like that. Some motherfuckers just whoever working, but I be real specific in what I'm gonna spend my money on.
Do you have your favorite ones that you go and spend on?
Yeah, yeah. Like regular, but I'm— I haven't been. I used to go a lot because I was out working in the, in the, in the comedy world, and we would always end at the strip club, or, you know, I hosted a lot of shit. So I'm out the loop. I ain't seen the new rosters. I might have to go hit something and see what's up.
How long has it been?
It's been a while.
Like years, probably.
I think I might have went to the strip club once last year.
Damn, I went like 3 times.
I only went once, and I went to the Flame. Blue Flame.
Really?
Yeah.
Magic City was impressive when I went.
It's a very impressive city, man.
The way that they could do the splits on top of that pole, I'm like, girls, that is crazy.
You saw the Snack Pack?
What's a Snack Pack?
Oh, those the chicks, they got a whole stage routine. They ride on each other and shit.
Oh, maybe that's what it was.
Yeah, when she was surfing on the chick.
Yeah, and then like they, they do like a lot of things on the Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was, that was crazy. I love watch— I love when they can dance dance. Yeah, that's like a whole different— that's like a different experience from anything else.
I like when they go change clothes and try to come out like they're a whole different person. That's some of my favorite shit.
I, I remember when I first came to Atlanta, I was like, I want to go to a strip club, and I went to the— that starts with a P— Platinum? Yeah, and, and, and when I saw the, the doors and I heard how much it cost to go into the doors, like $100 or some shit, and whatever they do in those private rooms, I was like, they ain't even doing shit for real.
It's just that you can get it. They ain't doing shit. I've been in there, trust me, they ain't doing shit. It's just where you could get your shit off, because some people get anxiety and they don't— they want to lap dance but they don't want want it in front of everybody, so they just want, you know, it's just regular shit. It's not like she about to let you do nothing in there.
Oh, that's what I heard, that they're doing.
Yeah, if you got to go, if you— they probably already fucking outside the club if she let you do it.
Probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, I was like, oof, that's a little—
and then I think it's a lot of misconceptions about what actually happens at the strip club.
You want to talk about it or no?
I'm not— I don't— I'm not in the industry, so I told you, I don't give a fuck what people think, so I'm not here to change nobody's mind.
I don't know. I just— I go only when—
Go, go back there and see for yourself.
I don't want to go. No, I only like going when somebody like wants to go and it's a big group of people and they just want to throw money. And I'm like, okay, I like throwing money like that.
Oh, nah, you see how you just did it? So nah, I ain't doing all that.
What?
Throwing money? I don't do that.
It's, it's like make it rain.
It's more personal. But when you just—
No, they love it, especially when a girl does that. They love it because I take it and then I—
I seen a lot of fights happen over that when they— because they can't divide the split. No, I was out here already.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I'm— I always choose one and then like it's, it's, you know, because I'm like, girls need to get paid, especially when there's like guys who got money and they're not spending money. It bothers me. I'm like, why not spend money? Just throw the money. And I just—
there's a lot of pressure on the strip club industry.
It's interesting.
What do you— what's so interesting to you about it?
It's interesting because it's like I get it, but I also don't get the point of men going to strip clubs.
Why not?
Because it's like you just get hard, like you get excited, but you can't do nothing majority of times.
I think it's visually stimulating. It's not that— it's not just about the actual finishing. This is stimulating. It gives you a reason, a purpose to kind of go back outside and get some more money. Like, some real, some real freaks out here. And I ain't playing myself. Maybe I'm not outside, and maybe I'm not doing it right. It's really like inspiration.
That's one way to look at it. Yeah, I can see that.
I look at it—
that's if that's how you look at it. To me, it's like, well, shit, you could have invested that money unless you got that kind of fuck you money.
Ain't nobody just invested in strip club. No, no, I'm just saying that like the thousands of dollars that you're dropping in there But to the men who spending thousands of dollars in the strip, that's not going to make or break them financially.
Exactly.
Most of those guys, the street dudes, they— this drug money or scam money or, or bad money that they don't want to be attached to. That's— it's a lot that goes on it. Or you got the athletes and the rappers and shit, so they doing it for the image. It's the reason why everybody in there doing that shit. You know who the most dangerous person in the strip club is? That dude who ain't getting no dances. He's just drinking one beer because that motherfucker is severely going through it. He depressed and sad and lonely as hell. This is why I do with the one beer.
You need to sell the course on how to wake up and just appreciate life.
You think so?
Yeah. Like, you know, Atlanta, they all sell courses.
They would.
They sell courses. Everybody has a course.
I don't— I wouldn't want to do that.
Be like, you know, this is how you wake up happy. Just wake up happy.
No, because it started with appreciation. You gotta start appreciating. Yeah, but once you get to where you want to be in life, then you start seeing that appreciation is how you manifest things.
What if we chop up this episode and we turn it into a course? You should start selling it.
You gotta appreciate what you have first, right? Because then God will see that you, you ready for the next step and what you have.
Oh boy, right?
Don't make this a course. Man, if you do, I want 80% of the profit. Yeah, 85% goes directly to me, and I need a royalty on this.
Are you guys signing more talent to the network?
To 85 South? Possibly.
Well, shit, I would like to be considered.
You already independent.
What do you mean? I want to be dependent.
You got your own setup.
Oh, is that what you do? You have people come to your setup?
We got a whole—
you got—
y'all come check the studio out. You got a dope studio.
Yeah, because I heard that, um, who told you?
You about to reveal the source? Tyler.
No, Tyler don't talk that much.
Oh, Fluke. Call him Fluke next time you talk to him. That's his nickname in the streets. Did you know that?
No, we're not that best friends yet.
Oh, I'm telling you, I'm giving you some insight. So next time you talk to him, like, what's up, Fluke? And he gonna be like, how the fuck you know that? You see how Rod laughing? Rod know.
I was just so impressed by who Tyler's best friends are.
Me and Rod and the Make Me Laugh Monday crew.
It's funny. It's like, well, it's actually— yeah, it is literally funny. Yeah, it's like you just hang out with like Carlos Miller and Nick Cannon, like they're like I hung out with him way before I knew Nick Cannon. Tyler?
Yeah, I was actually at his house right before I left to go to Wild 'N Out. A lot of shit happened that— it was the craziest week ever. A lot of shit happened. So I was like ducked off at his crib. Did nobody know I was over there? I was just over there just chilling, big chilling, man.
This is gonna sound so fucked up and I apologize, but I thought that you were much older than Tyler.
No, I'm not much. I don't even—
Tyler is older than you. He's 45.
I didn't—
why you tell—
bleep that, right? Don't be telling him.
He said that himself. It's public information.
I bleeped that shit out.
But I think it was like the beard.
It's the beard.
And then I watched— was it Shay Shay Club? That you didn't know?
I'm gonna shave my beard off and just be 24 again.
But why did it go gray?
Fucking with these crazy-ass women.
They got you like that?
Stress me out.
So you do have emotions, you just don't express them?
Oh, I don't no more.
No more? Not no more. So it's not going more gray?
I'm bullshit. I'm really a lover. I'm a lover guy. I'm in love ass nigga, but that's only when I'm in there. When I'm locked in, I'm locked in.
Are you like one of those that cuddles all night and just like—
Really? Yep.
Oh, we love those. We need more of those.
Yep.
Can you tell them that it's okay to be a lover boy?
No, I can't do that.
Please, we need more lover boys. I'm so tired of all this like strong ass— like, no, just cuddle.
That's what you picking. Pick better.
I'm gonna call you next time, be like, can I?
No.
You'd be like, no, no.
I'm gonna say no. Bring me no fucking donuts.
What if I bring you a donut and give you a hug and be like, okay, what do you think about this one?
It's gonna be an awkward hug because first of all, your titty is gonna be like right here on top of my head.
I mean, I'm sure you're not gonna mind that.
I know, but I'm saying like the dynamics of the hug is probably not gonna hit the same as an adult getting a feeling like a little bitty ass boy getting this hug. It's not gonna have the same effect as you think it is.
Have you ever dated tall girl?
Yeah.
How tall?
Um, my baby mama is about close to 6 feet, but the tallest woman I ever was involved with—
the smile, let's see the smile, the smile—
she was, she was, she played basketball.
What, like 6'8"?
Like 6'5".
Damn.
Yeah.
So you climbed that tree? That, that's what they said.
I made her lay down. I didn't climb.
Oh really?
Made her lay down.
What if she just see like her picking you up?
No, I couldn't. She didn't do all that.
That would be crazy.
She was, she was tall as fuck though.
Was she like— the body was good?
The ass was assing.
Like big one?
Big ass.
The tiny waist and big ass?
Yeah. The little bee stings.
Bee stings? Like no boobs?
Little bite. Nice, you know.
Where'd you find her?
She found me.
Really?
Yeah, I don't want to give you too much detail because she's still around on Earth.
Oh, you still have her on there?
No, she's just on Earth.
But I mean, clearly— and if I drop too many hints, she's gonna be like, I want to come back.
People start piecing shit together.
Is she famous?
Nah, but probably in her neighborhood or something.
Oh, she's in Mississippi?
No, see, stop, stop. No, no, she's not. No, we had a few tall women though. We had a few, few athletes. Few.
Oh, you like them athletes too, huh? Because they came after me saying that I like athletes. Now apparently I can't date athletes.
No, like who you like, because I'm definitely gonna do my thing.
You're gonna date athletes?
Yeah, them athletes, they, they hit a little different.
Why?
I guess it's the discipline of having to do You know, like once you get to a certain level, like the discipline to have to go and train and keep your body right and eat right and all that shit. I think I like that because I know that ain't some shit that I'm gonna do.
Do you work out?
No.
So you don't go to the gym? Do you want to start?
I go every now and then, but I don't— I don't know.
You just walk in there like, all right, I did it, so now I can walk out.
No, I really just— like the meme said, I just work out just enough where I can fuck good and not run out of air in a fight.
Oh yeah, but honestly, I don't know how men do it because it seems like it's a lot of fucking work to fuck.
It is.
It's just like a whole cardio.
You use a lot of muscle groups that you don't even know that you need, like your core, your hips, and right here. What's that crease in your leg? That's— you have to keep popping that shit. That shit hurt. Lower back. Chest and shit, like right here. When you fucking like a big girl, you gotta hold them legs. Fucking, fucking shoulders get to burning. Feel like you broke that shit. You just keep doing this shit.
They do say that you lose a lot of calories when you have sex.
Probably calories, proteins, carbohydrates. You losing all this shit. I don't know. I don't like when you over somebody's house and y'all have sex and they don't have no juice. Like, you don't give a fuck if I like my recovery. What juice?
Ain't no juice. What if she gives you, like, electrolytes?
I want some juice.
What juice? What kind of juice?
Cranberry grape or something? Grape juice? Some kind of Ocean Spray juice. I feel like it should be juice after.
Okay, ladies, step your juice up.
Yeah, not green juice either, because that don't really hit the same.
Yeah, it's got to be, like, more like some fruity— yeah, some sugar.
Nice. Yeah, yeah, juice.
Okay, so ladies, you need to stock your fridge up with juice in case Carlos is—
groceries and snacks.
Snacks.
I've been noticing a lot of ladies don't have no snacks.
I heard that's why a lot of men like to have—
leave and go home?
No, they like to have sex with moms, with single moms, because they always have snacks.
They always— and it'd be good snacks. Shit you would never buy, like the little applesauce in the pouch already. And you'd be like, man, give me one more of them and some of them geranimals, man. You feel me? Cook little cookies and shit, all type of little fruit. She cut up you some apple slices, little peanut butter. Yeah, we do fuck with that. Shout out to all the ladies out there who take care of us.
See, you wouldn't mind a single mom?
Nah, only if the father was completely not involved though. Like if you got a deadbeat baby daddy. I'm in. But if he still want to be involved, I'mma let y'all work that out, cuz the possibility of y'all actually working it out is too high.
What if you were dealing with her, then you guys fell out, she went and she got a kid, and then—
not coming back. I can't take you serious no more. Oh, cuz what you mean you got— you came back with a baby?
What?
Who does that? Fuck no. You love this motherfucker. I know you was in love, cuz you got pregnant.
Do you tell them?
Cuz I don't— I'm just saying, it's the hypothetical you. Yeah, yeah, I ain't fucking with you. I ain't going to tell you. I mean, I fuck with you, but I ain't about to— it ain't going to be like it was. And that shit happened. I think it's an age thing though.
It happened before?
Oh, that shit has happened a lot in the past couple years.
They came back to you and they're like—
they tried to, and I'm like, girl, you got a whole ass baby.
How old was the baby?
Shit, the baby just turned like 4 or 5 years.
Oh, I thought months.
I would be like, oh, she— oh, now I have went back while they had to— bro, don't look at me like that.
Why?
I have.
I wouldn't. What is it?
Because they, you know, people break up and then the baby come and then they still broken up way months before the baby even came, and then I have been the first dude back over there after the childbirth.
6 weeks after? Maybe.
Maybe.
The doctor cleared it though?
She was cleared. She was cleared.
That is crazy.
I've lived a very long, adventurous life.
But if you didn't live, then you wouldn't be able to go on stage and talk about all these experiences that are so relatable.
It happens.
It happens. Look at the smile on your face. I love it.
You made me think of so many great memories and moments.
I'm so glad I made you do that. You want to share a couple more?
What, what, whatever. What would you like to hear?
Give me like the best moment.
Of what?
Of whatever you just thought about.
Oh, in my life?
Yeah.
I've had some great moments, man.
Okay, give me one.
Um, one time I was in London. For the first time.
Okay.
And we were over there doing a bunch of shows and shit.
Mhm.
And it was just going so great. I had so much fun. Like, the shows— I had so much fun that the shows were like second, second to all the fun I was having in the daytime and just kicking it.
What did you do during the day?
I had a show one time at this theater, and then after the show, I had like 20 women like following me back to the hotel. It was like 20 of them. I had 3 cabs, probably like 3 or 4 cabs full of just English ladies. They were Nigerian and, and African and, and, and British and Jamaican. And I just had this whole fucking buffet of women. Like, if I just— I like all of y'all. And I was so overwhelmed, I didn't even want to fuck them. I just wanted to just enjoy, enjoy the moment, soak it in, soak it all in. And then going to Germany, those, those ladies are different.
What happened?
They— German women would just love the fuck out of you. They cry when you leave, and they, they'll just get attached to you.
And were they white?
They were German. You see how that— so you see what I'm saying?
When a German woman cry, you're like, oh my God, I this?
No, it's kind of unattractive though. Oh, because they can't—
we're not attracted to that.
No, it's not like when they cry, they can't— it's not like a, you know, like a cute girl cries, like a real cry, like, hey, give me some tissue type cry.
And you loved it?
It was a great experience. I heard you was talking about watching the sun set. Now, I have stayed up and watched the sunrise.
Where?
In Germany.
In Germany?
What part? In, in, um, in Germany in Curaçao. Like, when I'm on somewhere, some beautiful shit, I will watch the sunrise.
Okay.
But I ain't the type that really fuck with the sunset because sunset usually fall right into my nap time. So I missed that. So I wake up and then it's the same thing.
Sunrise, sunset.
Yeah, I fuck with the sunrise though.
Sunrise. Yeah. What part of Germany were you?
I've been in a few parts, um, anywhere they had some Air Force bases and they did comedy shows.
Those. Oh really? Yeah.
Oh yeah.
You know, my mom was married to a German man.
I didn't know that.
Well, now you know.
Yeah, that's a lot of fun. And it's just— I just think about a lot of times that I've had just in the city, out the country. Just—
you traveled though, that's amazing.
I go places. Try to take at least one good trip a year, but did last year I didn't get to.
So you're taking two this year? I will. Where are you going?
I gotta go back to Anguilla, first of all. First and foremost, I gotta do that.
Okay.
Um, so that's high on my list. Chico and, and DC, they both went to Africa. They were telling me to go to Africa.
Okay.
I gotta go fuck with some— with that. Um, I haven't been to Jamaica. I gotta go to Jamaica. Um, yeah, I'm, I'm all about beautiful destinations and shit. Saint Lucia was dope. Oh, Saint Lucia was real, real nice and shit. I wasn't crazy about the food, but it was okay. I'm big on the food.
Okay.
So yeah, I fucks with that because I'm a real picky eater. I'll just eat shit, so I gotta make sure that I got some shit that I like.
Do you like donuts? Yeah. What kind?
Just glazed.
Okay.
Glaze my donuts. You know, I just like regular glazed donuts. I like cinnamon rolls. I fuck with them.
Okay.
But I'm not— I don't get too exotic with the donuts though. As freaky as I'm gonna get with the donut is, uh, with the little Homer Simpson with the little sprinkles in the pink shit or the chocolate. That's it.
Yeah, chocolate.
I feel like a jelly donut is gluttonous. That goes against God. You got a sweet-ass donut full of jelly, that's— you going to hell.
Oh, okay. Can I read you the 10 facts and then we're just gonna wrap it up because it's been like 3-hour episode.
For real?
Yeah, I feel like it's been— how many? 225.
Yeah, you kidnapped me.
I kidnapped you?
Yeah.
Do you have anywhere to go?
No, I'm homeless actually. I'll just be roaming the streets of Atlanta.
Welcome home.
I'll be roaming the street.
I will take you in.
I knew this was part of your plan.
Are you allergic to cats or dogs?
You got a house full of cats and dogs.
I have one cat and one dog.
It's too many animals, man. It's a lot of animals.
But if you're homeless, you have nowhere to go, you wouldn't come?
I'd much rather live in the streets than live with a— no, this is bullshit, man.
You like cats?
I guess. I ain't crazy about Cats though, we had a cat. You know, Black people, we don't really have cats that much. In the past maybe 10 or 15 years, I'm starting to see more and more Black cat owners. But before my mom passed, she, um, we did get a cat. But the cat didn't want to be a house cat, and we live out in the country, right?
Yeah.
So the cat used to just love to be outside.
Yeah.
And after we saw how much this cat fucked with us and protected us and like made sure didn't shit happen, we turned in the cat, we converted. So shout out to my cat Twinkie, rest in peace. That was the first and only cat we've ever had.
But that's how cats are supposed to live, you know that? They're supposed to be in freedom 'cause they're hunters.
But they, she, like Twinkie never wanted to come in the house.
Yeah.
Like they started as a house cat, you know, my mom was in the house doing her treatments and shit. But then Twinkie went outside one day and just killed everything. Birds, snakes, turtles. She was bringing all kind of shit home, right? And she, every day she would bring a bird, put it on the front porch and be like, I got y'all something.
Yeah, hunting.
We fuck with that.
Yeah.
What are the facts?
Okay, so the facts, and then we're gonna wrap it up.
Okay, babe.
So both cultures were shaped by long histories of hardship and survival.
ChatGPT.
Of course.
This is not a fact.
This is a fact.
It's not a fact. Okay, so Russian cultures were shaped by long histories of hardship and survival. Who are y'all ops? Who are y'all into?
You know, the Russians, you know how many wars we had in our land in Russia?
But that's with each other though, right?
Huh?
Who would y'all have— who were y'all at war with?
We were at war with everybody. Germany.
How y'all feel about white people? This is the biggest one.
The white people? Yeah, like white American people.
That's like, yeah, I guess.
What's the definition of a white person?
A person that's white.
I mean, they all have my skin tone in Russia. I'm pretty tan for a Russian right now. Oh, okay. But so Russians experienced centuries of war, political repression, and economic scarcity.
I don't know about that. But also, y'all started a lot of shit too, though.
We were defending our land.
Y'all started that.
What, Napoleon?
I'm just saying, Russians known for starting some shit.
We didn't start.
That's one thing.
We defended our land.
That's one thing I gotta take. I gotta take a point for that because y'all start shit.
All right, well, let's start shit. Okay, community is prioritized over the individual. It's about the community.
Okay, big.
And I think that's why I'm so— I believe people so much because I'm like heartless. No, heartful. Sorry. Elders hold authority and respect. Yeah, respect for elders is deeply ingrained.
Okay, I can see that.
And older family members are viewed as a source of wisdom and authority. Sometimes emotional expression is often indirect.
Yeah.
So you don't discuss feelings, you show them.
Like, we'll show— yeah, but we're not directly— no, like, I tear this bitch up, that type of shit. Yeah, yeah. But you also outward display of feelings. Yeah.
And then, like, the whole vulnerability thing, that's very new.
Yeah.
My mom, my mom was in her 60s— oh no, my mom was in her late 50s, but she just started going to therapy and she just started, like, like going through her feelings and emotions, and it's been a wild ride because I'm like, that's when I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna wait, go to therapy later.
Oh damn.
Yeah, so I can give them something to work with. Yeah, I don't feel like I'm just getting experiences. I haven't hit my rock bottom yet.
No, you're too happy.
Yeah, I'm happy as fuck, but I have to act like I'm not because like you said, culturally, if I'm too happy, that's a red flag too. That's suspicious. Like, what the fuck? Yeah.
And social media, they love all this crazy shit.
That shit ain't even real.
So humor functions as a coping mechanism.
Yeah, definitely coping. Definitely masking some trauma.
Storytelling. Big, big storytelling. That's why I'm so impressed with comedians, because you guys can tell some stories and the way you tell the story. Ooh, I'm jealous because my brain is too scattered. Food plays a central role in family and belonging.
Absolutely.
Celebrations are communal and emotionally expressive.
Okay, that's like what, number 8?
That's number 7.
I was just trying to see if my mental was right.
You like number 8. What is it with number 8? The equation was 8 and that— what's 8? And 85 South. Hey, something is about 8.
Trying to get 8. I'm just— I'm— these are jokes, people. Jokes.
Hard work is considered moral value. Yeah, work is associated with dignity and character.
Yeah, we're changing that narrative though.
Yeah, we are.
I feel like we're definitely going to change that because they tricked us. They try to use that as leverage. You, you get—
no, I get what you're saying. Because the rest is often viewed as something that must be earned rather than freely taken, right? So 9, storytelling preserves culture and history. So you know how like your older elders will pass the joke on to you and thinks that you're going to go into—
these nuts going to live forever. That's one of the best cultural jokes ever, cuz you— it still works. You, you never know when that shit going to pop up.
Everybody knows that strength and endurance are culturally admired. So both cultures value toughness, uh, perseverance, mental strength, and this produces resilient individuals. Okay. But it also can discourage emotional openness.
Do Russians eat pork? Yeah, that's another one.
Um, you know, we have this like—
it's like the, the pig fat, we freeze it and then do what with it?
And then eat it when it's really cold, because like your body needs to warm up.
Frozen? Yes, frozen pork fat.
Yes, it's so good, I'm telling you.
You just eat it frozen?
Oh, it's like salted, so it's— you salt it and then you put it in the freezer.
We put that in our greens. That go in the green, right? They out there eating raw salted pork, man.
Do you send me that video? The, the Russian girl trying the, the, the soul food?
Yeah, see, she said that she was familiar with it, with all of it. She fucked with the cornbread the most. I didn't know y'all ate just shit like that though.
We eat things because not always you have food on the table, okay? So you can't, because I stopped eating meat when I was 16. Okay, that was like the biggest thing in the world. My mom was like, you're gonna die.
Yeah, I still believe that. You back eating meat now?
No.
Oh, you don't eat it at all? No. Why not? You just over it, or you just—
I just— I don't have a craving for it. I don't really like— I don't, I don't even remember how it tastes anymore.
So it's good, is it? Delicious.
The only thing I remember, I love the, like, the barbecue kind of stuff, you know, and now— or like grilled stuff.
Yeah.
And so that's probably like the only thing that I'd be like, oh, I want to— I would probably eat that, but I haven't had meat and I'll probably throw up if I eat meat now.
Or worse.
What? What's worse? Oh, okay. You do like a million things. What's coming up for you? In the nearest future?
I'm going back on tour. Going back on tour with We Them Ones comedy tour with Mike Epps and Chico and DC and Mojo Brooks and J-Ski and Jess Niche and Nav and Moneybagg and Mojo. Did I say Mojo? Mojo. Yeah, Mojo Brooks.
He's funny. He's really funny.
Yeah, we got a lot of guys that's gonna be out here with us and we got some special guests. TV, movie, film. Channel 85, 85 South. Um, we'll make a Tubi movie, maybe do some more Netflix stuff. Um, just working, just a lot of work.
I love that.
Animated— oh, you can catch me on— I did some episodes of Kevin Hart's animated show called Lil Kev. Did a few voices on there. Um, just working, man, trying to find my— trying to get in where I fit in.
You fit in a lot of spaces. That's probably why it's beneficial to be under 6 feet.
That is— no, I'm just bullshit. Yeah, I fit in. I'm just trying to get in where I fit in.
Well, can I be your friend too?
I mean, after being on this show for the past few hours. Seeing how many friends you have, I mean, I'm not really interested in being your friend because I don't want to be like your 11th friend. 11? I told you I'm a good person and I bring a lot to the friendship, uh, table, and I feel like I deserve a best friend who's going to just be my best friend. Okay, but I don't want to be best friends with a best friend who going to be introducing me to her best friend. I I just feel like I deserve my own best friend.
You're such an Aries. I'll be your best friend. Can I— can you be my best friend?
Man, now that we're crossing this bridge, I don't feel comfortable knowing that my best friend is out here buying her best friend donuts and driving all the way to La Tonia and giving them hugs. So if you watching this—
I thought you wasn't saying this, right?
If you're watching this and you want a legit shot at being my best friend, All you have to do is out-best friend her. And you see, it's easy.
Oh my God, I feel like I'd have to bring you— I have to bring you a hug, a cinnamon roll, and a donut, a glazed one.
You trying to buy my friendship? I want you to earn it. Don't buy it.
How do I earn it?
Start within yourself.
I'll manifest it.
Start within yourself. My love don't cost a thing. Really? See, exactly.
I love it.
Yeah, I'm not telling you, I'm living all my dreams. I don't need— I don't need you to give me anything physical in this world.
So you manifested me too?
Absolutely. I was like, dear God, give me the biggest Russian woman that you can find, a Viking, a Scandinavian princess from Siberia who's not afraid of the cold. Who knows what it's like to go to your grandma house and eat peanut butter and shit.
And loves Black men.
I know. Well, it's exactly why I came. I felt the love through the screen, and I saw your guests and the people that you've been having. I felt like it was only right that I come on here and I make my mark. Feel me? And out of all the people that you've had on here, You're the best one. I was just waiting on you to say it.
I'm just telling you, you're my favorite one. I've never sat here for 3 hours.
I know, but you brought me in on such a serious note. You get— went on that latest show, and then they were on your ass saying that you were fetishizing Black men, and then we had to come here and do a fucking whole history lesson. Next time I come, maybe I'll just get to be myself. Nah, it's always going to be an agenda.
I like when there's agenda because then it's easier for me to title something. Okay, because now we can say Russians and Black people.
See, and then you don't bring me in the shit with you. Black people, I have shit to do with this. And the Russians, please don't fucking, uh, send Vladimir after me.
He will probably like send you like a little thank you note. Yeah, for agreeing.
He do some shit that don't— like, I saw, you know, I'm big in the cars, right? It was this dude who went on news in some place, it might have been in like Germany or some shit. He had this old-ass Russian motorcycle that they just— he was trying to restore it and shit, and it made a little news story. Vladimir sent him a brand new one. That was gangsters. The fuck.
He does a lot of stuff like that just so he can—
you do a lot of asshole shit too. I saw that these one— what's the dog from the Dogecoin? Is that the one? The little Shibu, a new dog. You know the one I'm talking about?
Yeah.
So the dudes from Japan, they gave him one of them dogs, right? It was a puppy, and the dog got big as fuck. So they came back to Russia, he brought the dog out, they was scared as fuck, bro. I'm like, how you scared of your own shit?
I mean, that's what it is. Yeah. I don't even know if it's him for real, for real, because like he's been—
don't, don't, don't, don't. Okay, you don't get our episode flagged.
Yeah.
Do they watch you in Russia? You got some fans over there?
Yeah, my grandma.
That's it?
I mean, no, I have a lot of people who now they're— because you know, when I lived in Russia, I was never deemed as pretty or as who's like— they didn't even think that I was gonna be somebody. They thought I was just gonna be like this, you know.
For real?
Yeah, they thought that I had like no potential, no future, no whatever. Only my teacher believed in me. She was the only one that was like— I fuck with her— like, she's gonna be a big one.
Very Black. Yeah, we always had that one teacher to believe in us.
Yeah, it was like just one teacher that believed in me and everybody else. And so now, you know, because they— all of them are married with kids, and so like fat. They most likely— they just don't look the same, you know? Like, the oldest girls that used to be baddies, now I'm like, what is that? Like, I can't even—
that's part of life.
Yeah, I'm like, I can't even like this. So it's a lot of like, now they're watching me, they're like, damn. Especially my brother's friends, they're like, oh damn, now they're— they think that I'm pretty and I'm this and I'm that. I'm like, what was 15 years ago?
You weren't it.
No, I was not it. And now I'm all of a sudden it?
Yeah, you had to grow into it. Look at that, big-ass hands.
I've been this height since I was 12.
I know you had them long-ass arms and you were awkward, skinny.
I was never skinny. Oh, just once when my first boyfriend broke up with me.
He left you because you were skinny?
No, when he broke up with me, I got skinny.
Oh, you stressed out?
I was depressed. I did not know how to live without him.
Now look at you all out here living this shit.
Loving, having best friends.
Don't point at me, fucking point at me.
This is the best of the bestest friends.
Yeah, you— we're doing all right, we're doing my number one friend. We're doing okay. I mean, it's a grind, we're gonna work on it.
Well, you know, I didn't bring you donuts, but I got you gifts. Actually, you're the only person who got two gifts. Okay, okay. I know you're— we can't buy your love, but we got you some.
This hot pink ass bag.
Yeah, very masculine. You got two hoodies.
Lick my ass. No, talk less, do more. This hoodie is big as fuck. What size?
That's a medium, but I also got you a large because I know you said a medium. And this one has lips on there.
That's dope. Thank you.
Thank you for coming on.
No, thank you for having me, man. It's always a pleasure to, like I said, go on other people's platforms and, you know, just spread the good gospel of Jesus and stuff like that.
Yeah, you spread a good gospel today. Yeah, you said that I bite dick.
You do. You want me to sum it up for us? Okay.
Yeah, sum it up.
Okay, okay. So, uh, today we learned that, uh, you are a best friend collector.
The mic, speaking the mic.
You're a best friend collector and you buy dick. You are out here collecting black men for your own personal use and gain. Um, you openly admitted that you do have a slight little fetish, and there's nothing wrong with that if that's what you like. Just, just claim it and don't avoid it. Don't run from it. Um, as Black men, I don't feel like we get fetishized enough. We do need more people to let us know how great we are. And we do— ladies of all races and nationalities across the world, we— I'm speaking on behalf of all Black men— we do not mind being included in your fantasies. If you just want to use us for sexual favors and babies with curly hair and shit, we fine with that. Don't let nobody else convince you. That we have a problem with that. And I'm Carlos Miller, and if you would like to be my best friend, have to give me hugs and donuts. And much love to Russia. We never knew, I never knew that Russia has so many similarities in Black community and Black culture. And I would like to say to all the Russians, continue to show your Black ass. And if it wasn't such a language barrier, Maybe we could communicate on a higher plane and shit, we might have, you know, a better relationship than we do with the Americans. And, um, if we knew what we would be accepted into your culture with open arms, we made it— we might have tried to work that shit out with Apollo Creed. But we do feel some type of way about that. I would like to let y'all know that.
Well, thank you guys. Yeah, for watching.
Absolutely.
Thank you for the monologue. I hope that you learned something about Russians and Black people, right? And how similar we are. And I don't buy dick. Yes, you do.
Stop denying it. That's exactly what I just— just own. Just own it.
Oh, I do have a lot of friends, but I only have one best friend, and that's Carlos Miller. And he's going to be pinned to my messages. I'm even like, attach a picture to your contact. Um, I will only bring donuts to you and hugs. I can't do it.
We're just saying this is all part of your game. Next week it'll be a new best friend.
No, but anyways, you guys, please subscribe, please like this episode, leave us the comments. I'm gonna actually reply to all of them because that's what I did with Charles. What'd you do?
So if you have any questions or comments, leave them and she gonna reply to Yeah, I can only speak for me.
I can't speak for my best friend, so it's just gonna be me responding.
And to the, to the person who asked those questions, those were weird. I want you to know you need to get some help. Focus on what you're doing. Stay the fuck out of my business.
Thank you. Thank you for coming on.
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