Pudgie: Two-Toned Boobs Are Non-Negotiable

You trying to make me like fat guys? Can we see your stomach?

Why not? Can we? What?

I just— okay, I'm sorry, I don't think that that's appropriate.

No, I'm a sexy boy. I don't really hide too much. Better stop, they gonna need more napkins and ain't gonna be able to wipe the table. They gonna have to wipe you off in a bit. You gonna be dripping in here.

You came for sex?

Yeah, everybody pays for sex.

How much? How much?

It's different prices. They got some that go as low as $60. $40.

$40 to fuck somebody?

Yes.

$40?

$40.

For how long?

$40 is like, uh, that's a, that's a like a quick bit, like 10 minutes.

You know Shaq?

Yes, my boy.

Can you call him right now?

Yes, I can.

Can you please do that because I want him to sit in that freaking chair. Okay, let's do it. If he picks up the phone—

I'll always pick up for me.

I will love you for the rest of my life. Marco, Marco, why do you let your trainer pay for sex? I'm confused. Are you trying to put a spell on me?

No, it's Cupid in the flower. That's what it's with the flower.

You fuckers. You guys, this man is rich.

Yeah, I want—

now, honey, you have money too? Yeah. Can I sit on that couch right next to you?

Yeah, you can sit right on me. I make you nervous?

Yes, you do. I really, you know, I'm heartbroken. I'm— this is Talk Less. Talk less, do more. Oh my God, do I give you a hug now?

You give me whatever you want to give me. I don't—

Can I give you a hug? Wait, you didn't even take it out of the box.

I was in a rush. I didn't really mean to grab that.

Oh, okay, hold up. What do you— oh, Pretty Baby, we might need a new chair. Yeah, I'm not— hold up, production. You know, nobody ever gave me flowers.

Ain't nobody coming like how I'm coming.

How are you coming?

I love to come, like, like, I love to come correct.

Okay, you like to come correct, cuz I was like, what are we coming?

Yeah, like, when I say I love to come, I don't mean it in no negative way. I mean, like, I just love being there. I love being present. I love showing up.

Are you going to call me every day?

Of course.

Like, every single day?

I will call you every day.

How many times?

Before I brush my teeth. So I can know I have to call you every single day.

Okay, really?

Yeah.

What else you going to do for me?

Whatever you want.

Mm, I want more flowers.

Of course.

I want real ones though, I don't want preserved ones. Where'd you buy this, CVS?

No, I got that from, uh, this floral shop. It's like one-on-one. I had to go far for that, for that one flower. That flower probably ran me about $10,000, $15,000, $10,000, one of those. I turned it down.

Wait, run it back. Hold up, say it again.

I, I don't think—

ow, it's biting me!

Yeah, that shit alive.

Why does it bite me? What the fuck is this? It got spikes. Are you—

it's not spikes.

What is that?

Love bites.

Are you trying to put a spell on me?

No, it's Cupid in the flower. That's what it's— Prince of Flowers.

You You trying to put a spell on me. You trying to make me like fat guys.

You don't like fat guys?

I never had one. Can we see your stomach?

Why not? Can we— what?

I just— okay, I'm sorry, I don't think that that's appropriate.

No, I'm a sexual. I don't really hide too much. Better stop, they going to need more napkins and ain't going to be able to wipe the Table, they going to have to wipe you off in a bit. You going to be dripping in here. Let me cover this up before you go crazy in here. I get assaulted. I don't got time for that. I'm used to it, baby. I'm used to it.

Have you been assaulted before?

Yes, bro. Like, I can't— I don't know, I don't really like going out in public because of women.

Huh?

Yeah, like, they just attracted to me and it's It's a lot for me. It's a lot for me sometimes. So I don't want to like turn people down because I love women. I love women. And I don't want to turn nobody down or make somebody feel less fortunate or less of theyself because when I come, I can't— I'm not for everybody.

That's going to be a problem. You know that, right?

Yeah, everybody is attracted to me, but I can't control that.

Well, I don't— I need to be a priority. I can't have you out here hoeing around and attracted to everybody. Or people attracted to you? I don't—

yeah, I'm not attracted.

I gotta be the only one.

I'm attracted to you, boo. Okay, you better than a 2-year-old.

The 2-year-old?

Yeah.

I feel like— has anybody ever told you, like, if I look at you long enough, let it get hard, you're kind of cute?

Oh yeah, people tell me that all the time.

I think it's the gap between your teeth.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

So I heard you were a trainer. Who do you train?

I train a lot of people, uh, for some people names, for namesake, uh, Funny Marco, Jack Funny, Mike Epps, Marlon Wayans. NBA Youngboy.

NBA Youngboy?

Mm-hmm.

Really?

I'm a weight gain trainer.

A weight gain trainer?

Yeah.

How do you train him?

A lot of skinny guys really don't be knowing how to put on weight, so they try to go and do a lot of mass muscle, like they try to go and put on muscle, but that's not really the right thing. You want to put on fat before you put on muscle. I help them gain the fat before they turn it into muscle.

I need the program. How do you do that?

It's easy, but I can't just tell you on an interview. My course is like $1,500.

You have a course?

Mhm.

$1,500?

Yeah.

Hold up, but if I'm gonna be a woman, you're gonna give it to me for free?

Of course, I got you, but I don't wanna give them tips, uh, free, cuz I'm serious about what I do, and it takes a lot to do what I do.

How many courses have you sold?

It's not overnight. Uh, so far, 2026, I sent my check. I think we got about almost like 6,000 courses.

So yeah, for $1,500, you guys, this man is rich.

Yeah, I'm doing— I'm doing okay.

Okay. Or you're— honey, you got money too?

Yeah.

Can I sit on that couch right next to you?

Yeah, you can sit right on me.

I don't think we're gonna fit in the frame. I don't think it goes that high up. Are you serious or you just making shit up?

No, I'm serious. I don't lie about nothing.

Do you tell the truth or you lie better?

I tell the truth. Ask me any question you want to know the truth on.

How much do you weigh?

I weigh about 200.

Shut the fuck up. 200 was like when you were 12.

Last time I checked.

Uh-huh.

So I don't know, I'm not gonna say this is a fact.

What was the last time you checked it?

247. 247. You dreamed about it? Facts.

247 what? Yeah. Huh? 247 what? In pounds. In pounds? No, I think it was 247 kilos.

No, it was in pounds.

No, it was in kilos.

Sure, because I was on one of those scales that only go to like 300, you know, that they can be like Then you did a little— and I know I got to 240 and I went and it broke on the 250 and it went up and I went back to 249, 248, 247, then it balanced out.

But you don't trust those.

No, those are the best scales.

No, they're from back in the day. You don't trust them.

Nah, I would be thinking like, I don't really want to trust because it's like numbers, they could put any number on them shits. That's why I don't really listen to scales, you know what I'm saying? It's a numbers thing.

Why are you breathing so hard?

Huh?

Why are you breathing so hard?

I ran here.

You run?

Yeah.

What do you run?

I run all the time. That's how I get my cardio. I don't really like driving, so if I'm going anywhere within a radius of 15 miles, I jog.

What do you drive?

1 mile away, I sprint.

You jog?

Because I was sprinting before, like, right?

Hold up, hold up. How fast do you sprint? What's a sprint, homie? What's a sprint?

I think I run a 3.6.

Court, he should be in an NFL. They're missing out. What is it like? 3.6 is like, what is it, record time? He could break the record, right? It's broken.

Yeah.

You could be even richer. Did you know that? If you were in the NFL, we could be very wealthy right now.

You're missing out on your calling.

Huh?

I'm already wealthy without the NFL.

No, but you could have even more. You can have like $100,000 per day.

Yeah. It feels weird to drink shit when you're not washing nothing down. I only really like drinking when I'm eating.

I can see that. I can see that you don't drink without eating. It's very, very visible.

Why are you laughing?

I don't know. I'm just nervous.

I make you nervous?

Yes, you do. I really, you know, I'm heartbroken. I'm sorry.

Why are you heartbroken?

This last man I dated, he had really skinny nipples.

For real?

Yeah, like it was way smaller than yours. Yeah, it was like— like, I think he was very insecure about his nipples.

I'm never insecure. I like to suck. You ever suck the male nipples?

Why not?

Because it's not common.

No, I don't mind it. It's kind of fun. You got big nipples, huh?

Yeah, they cool. I got some cool areolas.

So do you like when it's a big areola or a small one?

For me, it don't matter. I just like two-tone titties. I hate a person who got the same— yeah, your titty gotta be two-tone. Like, your nipple can't be the same color as your titty. And I don't have some shit like that, and I don't know if it was a titty or a muffin, and it just pissed me off. I love titties with— I don't care if you have a light nipple or a dark nipple, your nipple shouldn't be the same color as the titty. That's the only thing I don't like.

I don't think you can control that. You got to tell God that, because like, we can't—

that's just my, um, prerogative.

So if she got— so the first thing you do is be like, show me your titties, and if they're the same color as the nipple, I can't deal with her. I think that's a lie.

That's no cap.

You are lying to me right now.

I'm dead serious.

One thing that we got to do in our relationship is we're going to be honest with each other.

Be honest.

So if she says fuck me, you're gonna be like, I can't do it because your nipples are the same color?

She could be on the bed, tooted up, baby oil on her butt, rubbed on, dripping pussy, and be like, fuck me. And I'll be like, let me see the titties. And it's the same. I can't do it.

What if it's from the back?

I still can't do it. I don't know.

You are such a liar.

I'm starting to think your titty and your nipples the same color.

Let me see. I don't remember.

Yeah.

Are they?

I don't, I don't know.

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I don't dislike them.

Have you dated one?

No. What?

Sounds like you do dislike them now.

No, I just never did. Like, it's hard to— what? Like, how the fuck you get a white girl?

Why everybody saying that? You know how to get a fucking white girl.

People— I've seen white girls, the niggas in PA, and them white girls, they ain't the same white girls like you.

Don't call me white though.

They like trailer park, wigger white girls. Like, to get a nice white girl, I don't know where you are. Like find that or how to get that.

Well, you come and talk last show.

And I'm a big black man. What does that mean? I scare white girls a lot.

Because you're big?

Mhm.

See, that's why you don't deal with white women. You need to deal with European women.

You European?

Well, not really. Kind of. Is Russian European?

You Russian?

Yeah, born and raised.

Wow. You remind me of the Russian, um, Who?

Uh-huh. Let's see.

Drago. I know you heard that.

Tired of hearing that shit. Yeah, see it? What's the problem? Let's, let's go over it again.

You like a sexy Drago though.

You think I'm sexy?

Yeah.

Well, I tried to look sexy for you tonight.

You like black guys?

I only date black men.

For real? What about big black men?

Big black men? Yeah. Well, okay, if it's like a 6'5" athlete, like that's, I consider that big black men.

I'm a fatathlete.

A what?

A fatathlete.

You might be confusing me with Cam Newton. I don't make up words.

A fatathlete is a fat athlete. That's actually my word.

Is it trademarked?

Yes.

Fatathlete.

Fatathlete.

Fatathlete.

Is a fat athlete. It's just a fat guy that plays sports that's good at it.

What sport are you good at?

I'm good at basketball.

I don't know how to play basketball.

Can you teach me? Of course. You don't know how to play basketball?

No.

I know that's— a lot of people ask you that, right? Do you play?

It's annoying. Like, I don't know how to play basketball.

If you did, you would make a lot of money.

All right, would I?

Yeah, because— all right. So with women in sports, more in basketball per se, like they don't make a lot of money because of their talents and shit. A woman like you with a look, I make a lot of money. It's like they sell, they still selling their face.

I don't feel like the uniform would look good on me, to be honest.

You don't think so?

No, I don't like wearing basketball shorts. Like I look too boxy. Like I look too big. I don't like to look—

No, no, I'm telling you. There's some way bigger than you, a lot. You know Britney Grimes? Yeah, she's like— she look good though.

Have you met her? No, because I was gonna say, don't cheat on me though. Like, hey, listen, we don't do that. We don't do cheating.

I won't cheat on you.

I feel like you would.

Size matter?

What kind of size? What are we talking about? Size for what? You know what I'm talking about. Like how big, how wide you are?

No, not my leg.

Like what size?

The thing.

What thing?

The stuff.

What stuff? Your stomach?

What's under the stomach?

Under the stomach? Is your hips?

Dick.

Thick?

Like, does penis size matter to you?

Penis size?

Yeah.

Yeah, it does.

What's like a good size for you?

Mm, it's a good question. How do we measure it? From like, from where do we start? You know, can't be this wide. That's, that's too wide. Okay, let's, let's, let's make sure Maybe like good, like, you know, let's go over 6 inches.

Mm. That's cool.

What? Why are you laughing like that?

I'm not laughing, I'm just saying.

You got more than that?

I don't want to disclose that.

You have to.

I wouldn't say I got more.

But how do you see it underneath the stomach though?

A mirror. Get naked and stay in front of the mirror. It's right there.

Hold up, let's get technical. Yeah, because if you are— how do you have sex with a woman? I'm— now I'm just curious, like, how does that work?

How do I have sex with a woman? Yeah, first off, I go on an app.

What app?

Listcrawler. And there's like, there's so much you could choose from. You just pick where you at, you literally scroll it, and it shows you How many women is on the app? And then you just scroll through, you see the different prices, different women, different flavors, and you go to what you like. And it's like DoorDash.

You pay for sex?

Yeah, everybody pays for sex.

How much? How much?

It's different prices.

Am I missing out of some income or like, what the fuck? How much do you pay?

I— it's different, like it varies. They got some that go as low as $60. $40.

$40 to fuck somebody? Yes, $40. $40 for how long?

$40 is like, uh, that's a, that's a like a quick, like 10 minutes. You get 10 minutes for $40.

So if she does it for like She does it 10 times, it's $400?

Yes. And it's like, they, they, they—

so hold up, but how does that count? Like, so it's 10 minutes, but what if she wants like 2 rounds, or you want 2 rounds, you have to pay $80?

Yeah, but I know how to talk them into shit. Like, once I pay, I pay a set price, and then I got the gift for gab.

Oh, so you get a deal?

Mhm. Damn.

What's the most you paid for sex?

The most? Like on one person? Not that— probably like $300. I don't go to the $1,000 girls or the $500 girls.

I have so many questions. Why not?

Because it's so many good girls under $300.

So you never felt like, I just want to splurge. Like, I just want to like, I just want to spend it. Like, you know that song that's going viral right now?

No, because like, me, when I'm done, I'm done.

What you mean you're done? You're done? What are you done with?

Like, so, all right, so they have QVs, quick visit. Let me go half an hour, they got an hour. Then you book a girl for all night. I usually get half an hour because that's all I really need. And I don't really need a half an hour. One time I got a girl, and if you out here looking at this, she probably remember. It was in, I think, like Tampa, Florida.

And you travel to get fucked?

No, like, it's everywhere. You don't have to go nowhere. So now I'm gonna— I got a half an hour and I finished in 3 minutes. So I know that's how horny as hell I finished in 3 minutes. You know, I told her for the next 27 minutes. Because technically you owe me that 27 minutes. Like, we just watching reels and shit. We're just kicking it.

You didn't even talk? You just watching reels?

Yeah, like, when we was watching reels together, like, like on the phone, like, we, we had a good time.

So how much did you pay for that?

Like $120 for that half an hour?

Yeah, for 3 minutes.

Yeah.

How did that feel?

Felt good, honestly. I met a new friend I got on Instagram.

So you just, you just finished in 3 minutes?

Yeah.

That's all you had?

No, I think I was just like too, like I was feeling the game.

Too what?

Like I was ready to go.

Where? You had 30 minutes. Where you going?

I didn't need 30 minutes. I didn't need it. What's the fastest a guy ever went out with you?

The fastest?

Yeah.

Oh, there was one time that was like in and out, a couple seconds. Literally, it was just like, I'm sorry.

That's— yo, that's the— yo, I said the same shit every time I go out fast. Oh, I'm sorry.

What else do you say? I'm sorry.

I tell sorry before I go out. They be like, sorry for what?

But why does it happen?

It's just you have a lot on your mind, so Somebody could turn you on from just looking at them and shit. So by the time you even— it happens.

It was only one time. I took it as a compliment though.

Yeah, you should take it as a compliment.

Yeah, cuz I was like, damn, goddamn, I'm that hot? Okay. I mean, shit, it was a long time ago though. Hasn't happened since.

That's what's up.

I guess I got less and less hotter with the age.

Nah, you probably attracted, less horny of men.

That's not true. Men are horny.

Not really.

See, you buying sex, huh?

You buying sex because you gonna buy it anyway.

How are you gonna buy it? What are you—

girl on a date, you don't have to. She won't. So you think it's just people out here just getting sex?

They are.

Well, hats off to them.

The last man I had sex with never took me on a date.

For real?

Mm-hmm.

He never gave you no type of money?

No type of money. Actually, I bought him dinners. Yeah, very expensive dinners too.

That's good.

No type of money, not even a dollar.

Now, all my sex don't come from paying for it. I get free sex too. How? What you mean how?

How do you get free sex?

It just happens.

Somebody just jumps on you like, just fuck me?

No, like, you know, girls that you talk to and shit.

You talk—

but I do promise people shit.

What do you promise?

Like a lot. Yo, it's some girls out there mad at me.

Let's roll through. Okay, let's role play. Let's pretend. Okay, promise me the world. Come on, what you gonna promise me?

No, I don't promise you the world. I promise you what you really want and need. So I always speak to a woman and I listen to They need the shit. And like, women complain about certain shit, like, like, damn, I can't wait to move out this fucking apartment, or I just need to get out this city, like, I don't like the city, it's not good for my, my children, I don't want to raise them here. And I'm like, oh, where you at? Like, and I just make it so nonchalant, and I'll be like, yeah, I'll move you out here.

Who you gonna move for?

Like, I'll get you a little condo out here and shit. And they believe it. You know, because I be around a lot of rich people, so they think I'm rich too. So I'm like, I get you a little condo out here or nothing, shit like that. And they'd be like, oh, you don't have something? Like, nah, I want to, because as you said, you're beautiful and no child deserves to grow up like that. I don't give a fuck about these kids, money. And then like, I reel them in. I bought them something to eat here and there to make it look like I got money. Like, oh, I'm hungry. What you want to eat? I do that shit.

Who is the richest person you've been around?

I don't really know people's pockets, but I'm assuming somebody probably like Shaq or Floyd Mayweather.

You know Shaq?

Yes, my boy.

Can you call him right now?

Yes, I can.

Can you please do that? Because I want him to sit in that freaking chair.

I need my phone.

Where's your phone? I don't know. Get him his phone. Call him. You have his number?

Yeah.

Okay, let's do it. If he picks up the phone—

Ah, Shaq always pick up for me.

I will love you for the rest of my life.

My boy, Shaq. I got two numbers. Cool. Let me look at the text. I could know from, uh, here you go. I think he covering the game that's on right now too, so he always picks up when you call him. Yeah, he do though. I'm surprised it's even taking it so long.

You can record the video afterwards though. After you FaceTime, you can record a video.

Oh, Big Diesel, what's good? It's Shaq. Now I'm on an interview right now and they was asking one of the richest people I've been around, so yeah.

I think you're lying. I think you're— hold up, show me the screen right now.

You mind if I show you? Yeah, I don't mind.

That's not Shaq. What the fuck are you talking about? You're so full of shit.

That's not Shaq. Another one of my rich friends calling me too.

Who is—

I'll call you back.

That's not Shaq. You got me.

Yeah, that's not Shaq, dude. Quit playing with her. Yo, he's weird. All right, bye.

Who the fuck is—

I don't know who that was. I don't know, he weird.

You are such a liar.

That was Shaq.

That was not Shaq. That was some guy with a beard and like freaking in his one-bedroom apartment somewhere on the freaking Smyrna area or some shit. I don't know.

Wow, you just put him down the T. But that was my friend Shaq. That wasn't Shaquille O'Neal. That's my richest person I know. That Shaq. I wasn't talk about the Shaq you—

What's his net worth? Like $1,000?

Nah, Probably a little higher than that.

Like $1,500? No, $1,700.

$1,400.

$1,400? Okay. Hey, somebody ain't got that too, so.

Hey, don't back me up.

That's the richest person you know, $1,400?

Mm-hmm.

You're a liar because I've seen you around somebody else who is richer than that.

Who?

The one that you train.

All the people I train, yeah.

Yeah, Marco is richer than that.

What, $1,400?

Yeah, I think Marco got more.

Probably, probably not.

Call him, ask him how much money he got.

How much money he has?

Be like, Marco, how rich are you? Just going to be calling people all night. We need to know who you know, cuz otherwise it's just— it ain't going to work, cuz it sounds like you buying sex, and I'm not about to deal with somebody who's buying sex.

But I'm saying, if you giving me free sex, so you could get that money that I usually use.

He hung up on you.

To bisexual.

He hung up on you. He don't fuck with you.

Probably busy.

You're not important at all, huh?

But I'm important to you, I hope.

Did you call me a hoe?

No, I hope.

Okay, you said that you hope.

Are you a hoe?

Am I? Do I look like a hoe?

How many sex partners you had in the last 5 years?

5 years? Okay, let's count.

Do you want to count that?

Huh?

You could count that in the last 5 years.

In 5 years? A few. A few. I've been single.

So you just like been fucking around?

No, I don't fuck around.

So I'm saying like, if you single, when you get horny, who you have sex with?

Myself.

I've been doing that a lot too.

I thought you paid for sex. Now you fucking yourself?

When I don't want to spend money, like, I just get me one off.

Oh really? What do you watch?

I just go on Twitter. I can't—

yo, Twitter is insane this day.

Yo, it is crazy what's on Twitter. I cannot open my Twitter in public.

No, you can, because it's like—

Twitter is crazy.

I can like—

and I just be wanting to go up there and see shit about sports or the latest streamers and shit. It's just dick, sex, pussy, tits everywhere. And it's like, I'm about to do a check. I'm going to go on Twitter and see what pops up.

Muted, please mute. Uh, lower down. Yeah, cuz we are not about to get demonetized for that. That's on you, not on me. I can see what's going to be on there. It's going to— and there's going to be some freaky shit too.

Oh no, it's basketball now.

It's basketball. It's because they know that you're, you know, open Shit's crazy. Do you like girl on girl?

Yeah.

Have you ever had a threesome? Who's calling you back?

Huh? Yeah, you win. I'm in the interview. And they need to know that you win.

Hello. Hi. Hi. Do you like him? Is that your boyfriend? I did yesterday, but not today. Yeah, I'm breaking up with him. So you have that on energy. What did he do? Hold up, we need to know. What did he do? He said he was gonna buy me breakfast this morning and he's been ignoring me all day. I could have just been left. Hungry. Amish. Wait, are you serious? Why did not— what, what, what happened?

My phone was messed up.

You are such a girl. He's lying all the fucking time. Break up with him. Uh, yeah, we're done. Also, also, look, look, look, he bought me flowers, so you know he's cheating already. Oh, you buying flowers but you can't buy some pancakes?

Hold on, this is my grandma. Uh-huh.

I might have just ruined somebody's love life. That is crazy. Why didn't you buy her pancakes?

Hm?

It's $2. You could have bought her box and she could have made it for you.

Made it herself, but she didn't want that.

What happened?

She wanted to go to breakfast brunch.

Where?

I don't know, but it was like $200. I'm not—

I feel like, what kind of breakfast and brunch is $200?

Exactly. Thank you, girl.

You doing too much.

Too much.

Okay, I don't even ask for that. I asked just for a phone call.

For real?

Yeah. I don't know, you sleep with the men that call you? Mm-hmm. Sleep like, like next to them? Yeah. Do you do what? And of course Intercourse? Yeah, it depends how well I know them.

Okay, if I do, I'm happy we getting to know each other.

Oh, you think that's how it works? You have to have like at least 200 sessions of that for us to even proceed to something.

For real?

Yeah, and I would be checking it off on a wall every single time.

So say if you was to sell it, so what, what am I selling?

A podcast?

No, that's good.

To a big network? Absolutely.

That's— and that's coming for you.

Yeah, thank you.

I can't wait.

I got my manager over here.

Yes, it's going to be beautiful. But say if you was to sell—

sell what? You know, the kitty cat. Yeah, my cat is so— man, she is ratchet as fuck. My cat, like, she wants to jump off the balcony sometimes. No, no, no, I have a cat. Her name is Kitty Cat.

No, how much would you sell it for? Like, you had to put a number on it.

If I put a number on my kitty cat, I would sell her for free because she can go somewhere else because she's fucking getting on my nerves. Okay. The animal that I have?

I just want to know, like, because I feel like every female got a number.

This kitty cat?

Yeah.

Oh baby, you cannot afford that. Maybe Shaq can afford it, but I don't know about you.

Okay, but what would the number be?

It's gonna be a really high number.

What, like $5,000?

The fuck, that's high? I thought you sold 6,000 courses for $1,500. That's not—

$5,000 and a half for you? For like—

fuck no, I would never. For $5,000 to give up your dignity for $5,000?

It's not giving up your dignity.

What is that?

You are giving it up to niggas that's giving you phone calls.

They're not even calling me. That's why— listen, that's where I learned my lesson, and I'm not giving it to nobody. A phone call is worth more than $5,000. I would never fuck nobody.

Imagine every time you get on the phone with somebody, you make $5,000. You would get on the phone a lot, right?

Yeah, but that's not fucking somebody.

Exactly.

No, I don't think there's— uh, no, maybe for like an actual marriage, I will give it up. Like, marry me. Like, literally sign the paperwork.

Oh, so you one of those, you not having sex till marriage?

No, never had sex before.

You're a virgin?

Mhm. You want to take my virginity?

No, I don't like virgins.

Thank you. Okay, I'm glad we settled that.

10 bodies.

Okay. Yeah. Huh? You said what? 10 bodies? Yeah, that's a lot of bodies to have. 10? Yeah. I've never had sex with 10 men in life.

You don't got 10 bodies?

That's obnoxious. What? No, hell no.

You boring as hell.

Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm prude.

I don't know. You have sex a lot with the people that you did though, cuz maybe like you are good.

Last man I dealt with said that that was the best he's ever had, but I think he was a liar too. I am now— I'm convinced he was fucking lying to my face.

Why?

Because he wasn't calling me.

But after he got it, he didn't call you?

Oh no, no, he would, but just then, like, you know, just—

did you give him more, man?

We fucked so much. I never had so much sex in my life.

Oh, what's up?

Maybe that's why he wasn't calling, because he was like, I had enough, I need to like get back to my senses. I don't know, it wasn't really the best dick that I had, but he said that that was the best that he's ever had.

That's what's up, that's nice.

Why?

I never— I think nobody never told me I was the best dick they ever had.

I've never really— like, you know when you're having sex, sometimes you'd be like, oh my God, yeah, this is the best one, oh my God, like, I want more. And the whole time you just fucking lie.

That's what you'd be saying? You know what I say during sex?

What?

How long I could go fuck you when I was 50?

Say it again.

How long I could go fuck you when I was 50? I got another 100 in my pocket.

What if you don't? What happens?

Okay, shit is over with.

Shit is over with. But what if you don't come? What happens? So you just have to strike it in the air, pull it out, and just make it rain.

Yeah, say it.

That's sad.

That's life.

That is very sad. I would cry if I was in a sad mood right now. You should not be buying sex. That's not bad. That's not good. Did your mom not teach you that?

I don't think my mother taught me about body sex. I never really even had the birds and the bees combo.

Really? Do you want to have it?

Um, I already— I'm not a virgin. It's pointless.

It don't matter. We can teach you like the rules to wrap up and be safe. Do you do that? Yeah, when you buy it. I hope you do that.

But no, you could pay extra to do raw.

I don't care if it's like really paying extra, $15 extra. You should never do that.

No, I don't. I don't play that.

Yeah, let's not play that game because that's a dangerous game to play.

I did it once.

For how much?

It was like an extra $50 to go raw, and I regretted it like as soon as I finished.

Inside?

Yes. I'm like, yo, imagine how many $50 she got.

That's the only thing.

Then it's not like $50 extra to go raw and it's like, all right, let me see your my chart. No, it's just $50, you can hit raw. This person don't know you from a fucking hole in the donut. That shit had me scared. I went and got checked out. I was so scared, bro. But I definitely— I hit a prostitute raw before. I kissed the prostitute. Yo, that's crazy.

You kissed the prostitute?

Up because I'm an intimate person and she was cute, bro. Tell us, sex workers, some of y'all are too beautiful to be doing what y'all doing. And I don't want to sound like that old guy in the strip club, like, I could take you away from this, but I've really been in those situations, like, like, what are you doing here? Like, what do you know? Like, you're not supposed to— like, I don't see some beautiful young ladies like young woman just— bro, you're not supposed to be doing this. I still get mine off, but it's like, you're not supposed to be doing this. It'll really make you feel sorry. That's a— it's a sad world. It's a sad world.

Can you put your phone away? Like, that's so rude.

This Marco. Okay, remember you talking about— yo, look at this, man. Look, you can cuss them out live. Hold on, I'm still on the interview.

Marco, tell her, tell her you big, tell her you got big timing, dog. What's up, Marco?

Hey, what's up with you, man?

That's the way you said you was going to try to yum yum 3000 on it. Yeah, Marco, Marco, why do you let your trainer pay for sex? I'm confused. I see it. Okay, let's do it. What are we looking at?

Hold on, my, my screen locked.

Don't copyright us, make sure.

I can't see it right now. I know, chat going over, right?

I know.

Good night, yo. I'm— let me finish this interview. Sorry, just a gambling thing. Sorry. Fuck! I'm good though.

Talk to me, what happened?

Just something stupid.

What happened?

Nothing to be mad about.

I didn't know Marco wears glasses. That's kind of hot. Marco also told me he wants to get married.

I thought we was flirting with me.

No, I don't like the fact that you pay for sex.

I could stop. And the app been down a couple last days anyway, so it's like, hey, I'm almost done.

You almost done? You almost through the list?

Yeah, no, the app been down. I don't know what's been going on. And then the last spot, because I used to go to a sex house too, Spanish. I don't know if they getting these girls right. Oh bro, I'm talking about $40, you get Cardi B. I swear to God, in New York, in Queens. I'm not gonna say the address because the spots keep getting, uh, raided. Oh my God, Cardi B. $40, you could get— watch this, I'm gonna show you how real it is. I'm gonna go on my text. They send you pictures of the girls.

That is so ruthless to the women. No, you don't have that. I hope you're joking. I hope you're like— now I feel sorry, but you said you like titties, so why you looking at— no, no, uh-uh, no, no, censor that. Hey, Hey, hey, censor that. Do not show that. Don't— no, no, not show that. Stop.

You order your girlfriend, you get that.

Stop. You said $40, but you like titties. Why are you looking at that?

I'm sorry, that's—

you can't tell if she has the same color areolas or not when you get—

it's so many.

All right, you're overpaying. Do you understand what you're doing right now?

You're giving heaven on earth massage parlor. That's basically what it is. I swear to God, $40, but you ain't getting no nails, no feet done.

Do you believe in God?

Yes.

Do you talk to God?

Sometimes.

What does he tell you?

I don't really be hearing from him back.

What the fuck?

I'm just saying, I don't— I'm not about to sit here and lie. I be seeing people lie, 'Yo, God came and spoke.' He never— I don't know if he don't like me. I don't know if God don't like fat people, but I done prayed a lot. I ain't really hear shit back. I guess you gotta hear it through the situations in life, but I never heard a voice back like, "Lord, I come to you now, my son." Never.

You think that that's going to be the response?

I don't know what the response is going to be, but I never, I never heard back from God.

So you never had like random thoughts in your head?

Yeah.

Like what would it be saying then?

My random thoughts?

Random thoughts, yeah.

I can either order churches or go to churches. Order churches or go to churches?

How do you order churches? DoorDash. You can order a church through DoorDash?

No, Church's Chicken.

Oh, you know I'm from Russia. I don't know.

Or I could go and get it.

That's like my regular— we have a lot of issues here.

Church's? Yes.

So what do you get there? It's just chicken?

Yeah, I just get a 3-piece regular.

That's enough for you?

Like, I get like a just-in-case.

So it's for enough for like what, 15 minutes?

No, I get like 3 chicken. Like, my meal is a 3-piece, 2 sides, and a biscuit.

Uh-huh.

But I'll get 2 pieces of chicken, like a just-in-case chicken. Okay, because it depends. Like, I need chicken to eat.

Like a full chicken? Like a full, like, full chicken? Like, I get a 3-piece, 3-piece of wings, or like full chicken, the wing to go?

I would like a thigh and a wing and some fries to go because, like, I eat that while I'm on my way home.

So it's like literally to go, like you need something to eat on your way there to home, to your house.

Yeah.

And then you have a full meal.

Yeah.

And then you eat again.

No, it's not a full meal. That's why it's just like a— just in case, like an appetizer. Like, eat an appetizer before you eat your main course.

Have you ever thought about weight loss?

Yeah, I think about it all the time.

That's God talking to you. This is the only part you need to listen to. That's God. That is God. See, he's speaking to you. Every single day. You—

I don't think about weight loss every day, so sorry to burst your bubble.

Do you still like me? Mhm.

I think that's how you flirt.

What? How do I flirt?

You goofy.

Oh, I like when people call me goofy.

Like joking around.

I love joking around. What's your favorite joke so far?

That you said?

I mean, just in general.

Um, like the, the net— the network joke. Like, what's your friend net worth? $1,000. That was funny.

You didn't laugh.

Just because I didn't laugh for me is not funny. You ever ate good food? Some food make you go, mm, it's good. But sometimes you didn't say, mm, it's good, if it was good.

Have you ever fell asleep during the interview? No. I feel like you're the type, like, I feel like you're disrespectful. I feel like you're gonna get so comfortable. I just, I don't know why I'm looking at you and God is telling me like you might just like pass out.

So God is telling you that right now?

Yeah.

Out of all the busy things this nigga could be doing, he's telling you the nigga across from you look comfortable doing the interview?

Yeah.

You're bullshit. I'm not really like church-going people. Christians just be lying.

I'm not a Christian.

That was a lie.

I'm not a Christian.

What are you?

Don't matter. I'm a child of God.

What God you serve?

The Almighty.

Put my stomach away. Yeah, it's getting cold.

I can't really— you get cold? I thought you have enough protection to not be cold. You know where I'm from? Yeah, where? Russia. No, like the part of Russia.

Slovakia.

That's not in Russia. That's a whole European country.

Russia, Russia, Russia. I don't really know no parts of Russia.

I'm from Siberia.

Siberia. Yo, I was thinking that, but I didn't want to be wrong twice.

I knew that. I knew that. And it's the coldest part of Russia.

For real? So you used to the cold?

I'm cold, but I'm not really. Do you feel cold?

Yeah, like when I put my stomach up, I feel warm.

Up? Is it usually down?

No, put it away.

Ah, wait, where— what part does it go to?

My belly button is sensitive.

It is? Do people tickle it?

I don't like being tickled.

Really? Why not?

I feel like it's torture.

You know what they say about people who don't like to be tickled?

What?

That they're very jealous people.

When you say they— I hate when people say that. Who they?

The people who don't like to be tickled.

No, who they? You said that. The people.

Who the people? The people who do like science and research, and I don't know their names, but listen to the day The, the, the psychiatrist, psychologist, whatever they are.

I'm not jealous at all.

So if somebody were to come in and like talk to me right now, you're not going to be jealous?

No.

You like, fuck it.

Hey, that's what you want.

You were not jealous of the guy who was on FaceTime with me? No. You think he likes me?

Probably. He called you or you call him?

He texted me and then I called him.

Did he tell you to call him?

No.

He don't like you. Why you called him?

I don't know.

I hate when I text somebody and they call me. That's— don't do that.

Cuz he texted me and I feel like I didn't respond to him for like hours cuz I've been filming and—

oh, so it was like a makeup face on, like, oh, let me call him cuz I didn't respond to his text.

No, cuz he was like, how's the new space? So I was like, I might as well just show him the new space. Like, I never FaceTimed him before.

He didn't text you, can I see the new space? He literally asked you, how, how was the new space? Text him back, good.

Ah, really?

Yeah, like, don't call. That's something I hate. People, when I like, I text them and they, they call me. Why? Cuz I'm texting you. If I want to speak to you on the phone, I would have called you.

So you think it's over?

No, it's probably not over. He probably still hit.

Hit what?

I don't know.

Hit what? What is he going to hit?

I'm saying, do you like him?

I might. Yeah, he's a hottie.

He cool.

I've seen him for like a year. And I've never really talked to him like that. Talked to him like a couple months ago randomly.

What you mean you seen him for a year?

Like I saw him at the gym a year ago.

Oh, and you shot your shot like a couple months?

No, he walked up to me and I kind of brushed him off cuz I was like, yeah, he looks like a fuckboy. Cuz he does, right? He kind of do. Well, he, he wouldn't, you wouldn't tell, but no, to me I was like, ah, he's just a player. He's like playing with everybody. And then saw him at the gym a couple times, and then I saw him at a wedding that we went to, and we had a conversation, but I got so drunk.

That was at a wedding with somebody else that goes to the gym, I'm guessing?

No.

How y'all wind up at the same wedding?

Uh, random, because I didn't know he was friends with my friend.

Okay.

So it's a friend of mine, like actual friend of mine, and so, and, and her husband is also a very good friend of mine, and so when they got married, like he was there, I was like, oh, I didn't know you'd know this people.

Yeah, so that I made you a little bit more interested. Interested in who? In him. Because at first you probably wasn't really paying him no mind, but now it's like, wait, you know, we have mutual friends. Maybe you're not too much of a bad guy because like I love my friends. So if you friends with my friend, you might be a cool person.

I still thought he was a fuckboy until like a couple days ago we talked in the gym and I was just like— because I've been going through a heartbreak. Like I just got— I just broke up with somebody, right?

And yeah, broke up.

He didn't call me for 5 days. But like, I— within those 5—

I was busy though.

What? What do you— what do you get busy with for 5 days?

A lot of things you can be busy with for 5 days. I could be in a coma.

I, I wish he was. I wish he fucking was.

Well, what did he say to you? Like, why didn't he—

he didn't say nothing. He said, it's not an issue, I'm just busy, accept it, deal with it.

He busy and he just probably don't want to— it's probably something really crazy that he don't want to speak on, but you just going to let him be because you think the world resolve around you? That's selfish.

I am selfish.

What if for 5 days his grandmother was dying?

He doesn't have a grandma, she's dead.

What about his aunt? What if somebody was dying close to him?

When somebody was dying close to him, he let me know.

No, some people don't want to—

he did let me know. He literally— it was the most random conversation. He just said, somebody just passed away.

Wow, you're so— that's crazy. You're sick.

I am sick. Anyway, so within those 5 days, you know, this guy, he like approached me at the gym. We had a conversation and then he was like, oh, I see what you're doing with your podcast. This is amazing. I was like, oh my God, I'm building this new space. This is where I'm at and this is what I'm doing. And he was like, do you remember this conversation we had? I was like, no, I don't. I was like, I was really lit. And then he was like, but hold up, we need to check on so-and-so. And we did check on so-and-so. And so he was like, let me know whenever you check in with the so-and-so, how the so-and-so is doing with so-and-so. So we talked and then I was like, hold up, hey, the so-and-so is doing really good with so-and-so. And, and yeah, now he has my number.

How often do you guys speak?

Every day.

Every day? Oh yeah, he gonna fuck you.

Wait, why would he fuck me?

I'm saying, y'all speaking every day. There's no way I'm speaking to a female every day and I'm not trying to fuck. And no female's gonna speak to a nigga every day that she's not sexually attracted to, unless he's literally helping you with your business. Oh, exactly. It's just chitchat every day.

It is so my type, it's crazy.

Yeah. Oh, I would, I would stop waiting.

Yeah, I would. I for sure would. But now I'm sitting across from you. Do you feel some type of— when I talk about other men, you brought me a flower though.

Yeah, because I'm a gentleman. That's what gentlemen do.

He didn't bring no flowers to me. Do you think he's gonna buy me flowers? Probably.

Probably not.

That's, that's like not an answer.

I don't know what he's gonna do. I don't know him. All I know is that he got you wrapped around his finger and you know it. He don't give a fuck about this podcast. That was his entry coin. Yo, that's what we do. I don't want to put it out there for the men in the world, but we act like we interested in something. You know how I get girls? I go on Instagram, I go through the highlights. Oh, she took a trip here. She always wear this type of clothes. And I act like I'm so interested in that, like I just bring it up out of nowhere. And they'd be like, wow, I actually been there. Duh, bitch, I see it on Instagram. I'm like, for real? Like, what part? And I study the parts, and I— it's just easy. Y'all easy as hell. Y'all females easy as hell.

So you think that that's how you can get us?

That's how he got you. You think he watched?

He ain't got me yet.

You ask him his favorite episode?

No.

Ask him.

Hmm, should I text him right now? Be like, what's your favorite?

Call him. You want me to call him and ask him like, what's your favorite episode of my podcast? I bet you any amount of money, he's not going to go into it. I bet you he going to go, uh, shut the fuck up. Um, oh, you know what, watch.

Hey, I have a question.

What's up?

What's your favorite episode of my show?

What's favorite? I haven't watched the whole episode, I don't think.

Not yet. Okay, do your homework, do some research, and let me know which one you like. My most favorite one?

Mhm.

Okay, what made you ask me that? I was just talking to my friends and they were like, you need to ask your friends. Yeah.

Well, let me see if I can remember the favorite clip. Oh, I mean, it's probably most people say—

which one?

Anyone say when you say you don't— you forget you white or some shit like that.

There you go.

That was pretty funny.

Okay.

I remember that one. Um, the one you did with Sarah was pretty funny. I don't know if it was on her podcast or yours, but we did both.

Mhm.

Um, yeah, the, the shit about you not feeling white cuz where you from is different.

Mhm.

You hate when people call you white and shit like that. That was pretty funny.

Thank you. All right, I'mma call you back.

What's the point you making?

I, I will call you right back, okay? All right. Fuck, you are right. He's trying to fuck me. Yes. No.

Hey, that's life.

How do you know men so well? This is so fucked up. I feel like I'm about to be used.

Life, bro. You using him too though, so—

for what?

You just say he's definitely your type, but you'll fuck him down.

The fact that he's picking up my FaceTimes though, that's good. Huh? What? Oh, I never FaceTime— this is the second time FaceTiming him ever. Twice today.

That's what's up.

Am I like— do I have a very low self-esteem? Because why the fuck am I saying that somebody picking up my FaceTime is a big deal?

Nah, some people don't pick up FaceTime, so that's good.

Have I been treated really bad by men?

I don't know how men treat you.

I feel like I have a lot of trauma.

Do you?

I feel like, yeah.

Oh my God, have you let a— have you met a lot of moms?

A few. Definitely met a few. Yeah. Why does that matter?

Yeah, that matters.

Well, a lot of people who— I see a pattern now. A lot of people that I've talked to, like, seriously, they don't have their parents alive or like their mom's alive. But I've met like brothers, sisters.

Yeah, like family.

Family. Yeah.

Yeah.

Like maybe aunts and uncles.

But it might be different with you.

Why?

Because a lot of people— all right, because you're different, and I feel like it's with me too, so don't feel offended. I feel like they say things about you and then they let you meet their family so they could prove it. Like, it's a nigga out here like, yo, this bitch gotta be like 7 foot. Look, I'm gonna bring her, I'm gonna bring her.

I thought you were gonna say she He's really nice. And then—

but it happens to me too. I just think a big fat— I know, this is the fattest thing I don't fuck with. I know they do that shit. You could tell about when you meet the family, they'd be like, hey, nice to meet you, like, and then they look back at them like, you were right.

Yeah, he is the one. You think that that's the— man, I feel so used right now.

Not used.

I feel used and abused.

Ripley's Believe It or Not.

See, this— the thing about me is like, I believe what men tell me. So if you were to tell me, yeah, I'm gonna take you to breakfast tomorrow, I'll be like, okay, I'm going to breakfast tomorrow. Like, that's literally going to be a thing on my calendar. I'm going to breakfast with you tomorrow, knowing damn well you ain't take me to breakfast.

Yeah, I would take you to breakfast. Where? Uh, toast on Lennox.

Whoa, you speaking my language now. Okay. You're such a liar. I know you're not gonna do it.

So you want to go to breakfast?

Yeah, but tomorrow.

Done.

Can we invite him too?

Go ahead.

I ain't calling him back.

That'll be beautiful.

Can you imagine? I call you back, he's gonna be like, girl, you want something? And he's sober too. He's sober. He hasn't been drinking.

I know.

No, I can't exploit a man like that. No, I'm on a date with you. Fuck it. Let's not talk about other men.

All right.

Okay. How is Cam Newton?

That's my guy. Cam. Shout out my boy Cam.

How is he?

He's an interesting person. In a good way.

Tell me more.

He's like unpredictable. Really? Yeah.

Like what unpredictable?

He's just like a great person.

Okay, you said interesting and now he's a great person.

Like he interesting to the point where you don't know what's coming from him. Got a lot of different angles how he come at you and shit. You know it's never gonna be a dull day around Cam.

Did you feel comfortable when you went on his show?

Yeah, I felt very comfortable.

Did you appreciate the fact that, um, he didn't appreciate you? Yeah. Yeah. Do you like doing appearances like that?

Mhm.

Because you're like never the main character and you're always like kind of like a side chick just popping in and out.

That's crazy.

But hey, what do you mean it's crazy? It's the reality of it.

I'm not like a side chick. I'm like a Pokémon card.

A Pokémon card?

If your interview was going Like it's boring, like I'm auto-clickbait. Oh yeah, I know the clip from—

you do? How did you get into comedy?

My family. I got a funny family, like a very funny family, to the point where my family is hilarious. I know everybody probably say this about their family, but I'm talking about Everybody in my family is funny, from my grandmother, God rest her soul, aunts, my uncle, everybody funny. All my cousins and my siblings, funniest people I know. And nobody else in my family did like comedy. It was just funny, like at family reunions and shit. So I said, hey, let me give it a try. And I started like on the internet, and then eventually I got off the stage, you know, and it worked.

The stage worked? Yeah, it held you up.

That was funny.

You know, do you know Moneybagg Mafia?

A comedian?

Mhm. Why you say name?

No, I'm saying probably not by the name, probably by face.

Yeah, the guy who has a Nike sign on his forehead. Anyways, regardless, it don't matter. So he's been trying to get me into stand-up comedy, and he actually got me to like go and sit down with him and write a stand-up. I couldn't do it.

Why? You scared of the crowd, or—

No, I don't know what to say. Like, I don't know what to talk about. I can do something when I'm talking to somebody, but when it's a crowd, like, if it's just me, I don't know what the fuck to say. Like, what do you want to No.

Well, when you on stage, you are talking to somebody. You talking to the audience.

Oh, okay.

So you still feel like you can literally talk to them if you want.

But is that going to be funny though?

No, it will be funny. It's the interaction.

Because the way— and I feel like there's a craft to it, how you write your jokes.

It is. But for me, I don't think— still, for me, no, I don't want no old stand-up comedians or anybody. I feel like stand-up is like, it's elevating to the point where you could do anything on that stage. Just be funny.

But how do you know if you're funny or not? What if you just— they're booing you?

Like, you know, you're not funny.

Did you, did you watch the Kevin Hart roast thing?

Yeah.

Like, Draymond Green, every time they would say his name, they would just boo him.

But they was booing him because they was like, like, that was like a sports thing. I don't think it was booing him because of him not being funny.

I'm scared. I don't want nobody to boo me.

I don't know, bro. Funny is what you make it.

I don't know if I'm funny though.

You are funny.

When? Sometimes. Yeah. I feel like I'm more flirty than funny, but flirting is funny.

Why you not holding the cup handle? That's weird.

Cuz it's going to be in the way.

I'm saying you would just turn the cup around. Oh, I see why men get over— you don't think.

Said what? You don't think. I don't. When I'm around men, I just truly sometimes want not to think. I don't think Like, it's so important not to think sometimes.

Do you want to be married?

With kids?

So do you have kids?

No.

That's what's up. I don't either.

You want to make one?

No, I make one with you. You can make an athlete. You're tall.

I don't know, I don't know, cuz it can go either or, you know. I'm also prone to being fat athlete, whatever the fuck you call it.

A fit athlete.

A fit athlete. Yeah, I'm prone to that. I could be casted for My 600-lb Life, you know.

Why you talk about My 600-lb Life?

Because I like, right now I just kind of, kind of lost a little bit of weight. But other than that, usually like I'm like a perfect cast character. So like me and you could be on like My 600-lb Life. We could be a married couple on there.

But we couldn't go on there.

Yes, we could.

You got to be 600 pounds.

You are.

I'm nowhere near 600 pounds.

You are.

I could probably do a 300 pound life.

But us combined, we're going to be 600 lbs.

How much you weigh?

Same as you.

Not for real. 247. There's no way we can be 600 for our life.

Well, you just— we just need to give you like, what, 100 more pounds, and then we just be right there. They don't like— does it have to be exactly 600 lbs? It could be 545.

They be over 600 lbs.

No, they can't. Stop being on your phone, that's so rude.

Sorry, that was my mom.

Say hi to Mom, but Mom can call back.

No, she in dialysis, literally taking the blood out of her and putting it back in her, cleaning her blood.

I think you're bullshitting me right now.

I am. But that— I always use that. I'll be using that to change my flights. Like, I try— like, I miss a flight or some shit and I want to change it and they try to charge me, I always call customer service.

Where are you gonna fly? You don't fly nowhere. What are you talking about?

I fly everywhere.

Where What's the next flight you're taking?

I got to go to New York.

When?

Uh, like 3 days.

What's in New York?

I got a comedy show out there June 5th, but I'm going to be promoting probably from like the 1st to the 5th.

What do you say on stage?

I say a lot, whatever come to my mind. I have a set, but it depends on how I'm feeling that day.

How you going to feel that way?

I can't tell you how I'm going to feel that day. The day not here yet. Only feeling I know I'm gonna be that day is hungry, because I'm hungry every day. Any other feeling, I can't tell you how I'm gonna feel.

We're gonna do so well together because like I'm never hungry, you're always hungry. So it's like, you can just— yeah, like I never—

you cook?

I can, I just don't eat much.

I don't really think I— that's why I want to date a white woman.

Why?

Because you think I'm gonna put season your food?

Oh, you think I'm gonna put raisins on everything?

Not even really. I just don't season your food.

Would you eat raisins?

Okay with it. Do you know how to fry chicken?

I learned that the other day.

The other— you 30-some.

I'm not from here. I don't eat fried food like that. I just learned it.

What do you like to eat?

I do like to eat healthy food. Like, I'll eat like some grilled salmon, like a salad, you know. I can make some mashed potatoes. I can make some Russian soup. I like Russian food. You know, it's kind of like something I grew up— like, you grew up with fried chicken. I grew up with like soups, salads, like full meals kind of thing. Like, if there is a meal I can eat for the rest of my life, it would be a salad, which is made out of cucumbers, tomatoes, spinach, baby. Huh?

It's torture.

Lettuce, onion. Um, you can put burrata in there. I love burrata. And then it would be like a grilled salmon and mashed potatoes. And like some dill in there too.

Yeah.

You never had that?

Like a salad?

Have you ever had a salad? Do you know what a salad is?

Damn near almost every day.

What's in the salad?

Lettuce and tomatoes.

That's not a salad.

Well, when I eat burgers, that's what I put on it.

That's not a salad.

It was kind of like I'm eating a salad.

That's a bunny food. That's not salad.

That's what?

Bunny food.

So what's a salad?

The salad is like when you mix a lot of things together. Like you can have like— have you ever had like a burrata salad? Do you know what a burrata is?

I eat and I mix a lot of things together.

I don't think you even care what you put in your body. You just like eat it like it's like a vacuum cleaner, you know? You just see it as like a—

No, I care.

What you care for?

That's crazy. I'm very picky when it comes to eating.

Okay, tell me, what's your favorite food?

Good food.

What's a good food?

Seasoned food.

Seasoned food? So like how spicy, or like seasoned has to be?

Yeah, just gotta taste good. I'm not, I'm not eating nothing with tea. But people eat shit that don't have no taste, they looking for attention. Like, it's no way you out here enjoying avocado. The fuck is wrong with you? You're literally looking for attention. You just want to be— oh, avocado matcha shit suck.

Matcha is amazing. You tripping. Matcha is incredible.

You just started drinking matcha?

No, I don't drink coffee, but I do drink matcha.

When you started drinking matcha?

Matcha, a couple years ago when it got popular. Exactly. No. No, so I stopped eating meat before vegetarian, vegan became a thing, okay? I was 16 years old, that was 2009. Um, it was way before— 2009, 2010— that was way before all this stuff, right? So matcha is really good, but it depends where you go because you have to do it with oat milk and you have to do it with lavender syrup. That matcha just—

oh my God, why you stop eating meat?

Um, never really like meat, but I had food poisoning from chicken twice, and then I learned how much it takes to raise a cow.

You got what?

Food poisoning from chicken twice. And then I learned how much water it takes to raise a cow, and it's just like, I love animals too much, and then just kind of stopped.

Oh, because like killing the animals?

Yeah, I don't like that.

But when they kill the plants, your ass is just over here. Yes, about the plants.

It's okay, we can kill plants.

We can— no, it's not okay, it's a living thing.

Yeah, we can kill plants, it's okay. I, I, I—

plants' lives don't matter.

Plants' lives don't matter? No, it's crazy. I know you wouldn't know nothing about that because like you don't even kill— you let them live.

That's how you just want that.

You just want the chicken that's not a real chicken. You want the chicken from McDonald's, like the GMO kind of chicken, right? That's not even real meat. That's what you want.

I don't know what it is.

The one that you like to eat, that's not real. Like, that's not an actual real-life chicken that's walking around. That's like a fake one that they generate in a, you know, in a lab. Oh, that shit is good if you season it right. It is good. You can see. Do you see? See the difference between you and me?

Yeah.

You got to kill some plants. It will speed up your metabolism.

I got a fast metabolism.

Really? How many calories a day do you burn naturally?

What you mean, like when it's baking, like if it's burning?

No, like, you know, your body can like naturally burn. That's metabolism. Your body can naturally burn some calories.

Let's see, like 5,000 calories a day.

Ain't no fucking way. So how many you eat, like 10,000 a day?

Nah.

How many calories do you eat a day?

Probably like 5,000.

So if it's 5,000, 5,000, so you just keep on the same weight? You don't ever put— okay.

Yeah, facts.

For how many years?

No, for— I've been this way like the last 3 years.

Oh, so for the last 3 years it's 5,000 calories a day? No more, no less? Like you're just— so what if it's like 5,010 calories? You cut it off?

Balance out. What do you go in around? Like a good average.

So you go like walk around the building?

Yeah, I love working out.

Really? What's your favorite workout?

When I go get my shit from DoorDash.

Oh, that's a, that's a really—

I got a big house, so it'll take me a minute to get down to the door.

Like what, a one-bedroom? No, studio.

I got 8 bedrooms.

Where do you live?

I live in Georgia. I don't want to disclose the place because of my crazy fans.

Court, I feel like he's lying. Court been in my house, his 8-bedroom house. Can I take a bedroom? Yeah, I have a dog and a cat though.

Ah, you can bring a dog, I don't fuck with cats.

She's not gonna fuck with you either, so like, you know, just gonna be like, I don't like cats, they do too much. She don't do shit.

You just told me she'd be dropping off the balcony.

This is a kitty cat. You don't like that?

I like you. I like you, so I like—

So you're gonna, you're gonna accept my kitty cat?

I'm definitely gonna accept that kitty cat.

Oh, really? She got long hair too.

It ain't never scared me.

Do you like hairy kitty cats?

I don't— I'm a grown-ass man.

What does that mean?

I'm never gonna see no hair and stop. Oh my God, no, I can't do this.

What is it? It's been this whole narrative about this man liking hairy pussy.

It's not about liking it, I just don't think we dislike it.

But like, I feel like women are trying to get rid of the hair.

Y'all could because that's hygiene and maintenance for y'all, but we, we don't, we don't give a fuck. Hmm.

Because in our minds, we want it to be like clean, so like it's cleaner for y'all.

Yeah.

And you don't care about that.

I just feel like if it's hairy, you ain't gonna get a lot of head. But anything else, that ain't stopping shit.

If it's hairy, you're not gonna get a lot of head?

Yeah.

Like women?

Yeah.

You give women head?

Yeah. Do you give men head?

Of course.

Are you good at it?

I don't want to disclose my skills, but, um, you know, I enjoy it.

What's the fastest you ever made him go?

Go where? Like, oh, that's like quick from head. How fast can I make a man come from head? Yeah, I can make him come. Yep, I, I can do that.

How fast?

I don't think it's about how fast. I, I want to enjoy it too, and I want him to enjoy it. I want him to remember that, and I want him to like remember that shit so he's just like, damn.

So you go crazy every time you go?

I don't do half-ass anything.

That's what's up. You're a beautiful person.

Thank you. Twin said that it's about my soul. That's such bullshit.

He ain't never lie.

Never, never.

He ain't never lie.

What matters to you more, head or actually having sex?

Both of them is good. Hey, it don't really matter to me.

What do you prefer?

I love head, but I love pussy. But like, you'll get some pussy so good, but now I gotta get some head, or vice versa. You get some head so good, be like, nah, I gotta get this pussy.

So you hold out until you get both?

Yeah.

Okay, okay. Interesting. That's good though. That's good because you're not selfish. Because you know she needs some dick too.

Yeah. You ever had sex with a fat guy?

Never.

Don't knock it till you try it.

Why? How loud do you breathe?

What you mean?

When you fuck?

I don't know.

Like, does it go like— do you sweat? Do you like have to like have a towel?

No, I don't need a towel. I sweat a little bit.

Like a little bit, like, like a little trickle down my cheek.

I'm not out here fucking raining.

No, I always thought that like when fat guys have sex, they like sweat a lot.

No, I'm not a big sweater. I don't sweat a lot.

That's good. Hmm, okay. I feel like because I've been so heartbroken the last couple of days, I feel like I need to try something new. I feel like I need to go out of my type. Like, I feel like it's just my type that's fucking me up.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yes.

What do you think my type is?

I don't know, but it's definitely not fat niggas. You should definitely try it.

Really?

Yeah, they'll treat you better. Why?

Because somebody just told me that fat guys are going to treat you even worse cuz they have nothing to lose.

What you mean they have nothing to lose?

I don't know, you going to go buy some pussy? I don't know.

Mhm. Throwing it in my face.

What?

No, everybody buys pussy, believe it or not. Everybody.

Really?

Don't you buy pussy, brother? Don't you buy pussy?

Exactly. Okay, can we do the introduction? Yeah, it's been like an hour of the show, maybe more.

You're a good person, you like to have a great conversation. I can talk to you all day.

I know. Okay, you guys, welcome back to Talk Less Show, and I know it's been like 3 hours into this conversation, but But we're in the new studio and it's my life and my rules and we tell you when we're going to do the introduction. So let me read the introduction. Today's guest became one of the most talked about personalities on the internet without ever trying to be the center of attention. You can tell. You may know him as a funny Marcos Trainer, the man behind some of the funniest viral moments online, but there's a lot more to him than a viral clip. From unexpected internet fame to becoming a recognizable face in comedy culture, he's built the following simply by being himself. Whether people know him as Pudgy, the trainer, the friend, or the guy who somehow steals the scene without saying much, one thing is clear: when he shows up, people pay attention. Welcome to Talk Less Show, Pudgy.

Yes, hello, thank you for having me here.

Are you excited?

I'm so excited. I love watching your show.

What's your favorite episode?

You and Nav.

You did see that? Damn.

Yeah.

Did you see the clip or you saw the episode?

I seen the whole episode.

You serious?

Mhm.

I love that. Thank you. It was truly one of the best episodes.

Yes.

It was really good. Is it like—

That was my favorite.

Really? What other ones did you watch?

I watch Nav. I watch, um, Lou. Uh-huh. The episode you did with Lil, I watched the episode you did with G from Intrusive Thoughts. Uh, I watched the episode with Cam Newton.

You did?

Yeah.

What did you think about that episode?

I think it was just a great episode.

Really?

I feel like you had him on the edge of his seat. I feel like you came with a different approach coming to him. You didn't let him sit there and take over the show. I love it.

He took over the show, I feel like.

But you didn't let him. You still held your own. Some people just just sit back and let Cam be Cam.

I love Cam though. Cam was amazing. He's a great person. I actually like— I don't know if the interview was the best work that I've ever done. It was— that interview was very, um, it was very— I guess like it was like my first— I think like it was like my first big, big, big time guest. Somebody who I've, I've like admired for so many years, who I've wanted to talk to for so many years. And then I fucked up because I already said that when I dropped that episode, I dropped the wrong footage.

Footage, facts.

Yep. And, um, it got 26 views in the first 12 hours. Hey bro, 26 views, it gets greater later, right? And so like, it was really traumatic. It was traumatic because so many things. But then, you know, this is how it all unfolded. And me and Cam were like, we're really cool. I like truly, truly admire that person.

You're super cool with Cam.

Me? Yeah, we're cool.

Can you FaceTime him?

I don't have his number, but I can definitely—

You're not cool.

No, but I can DM him, or like if I post something with Cam or talk about Cam, he'll always like, you know, comment under that. And I can FaceTime his girl. Jazz is amazing. So she's actually going to come on too.

Oh, that's beautiful.

Yeah, she's amazing. She's beautiful. I met her. She's great. I'm super proud of him. He's going to own the whole block. You know, he's opened up a new spot in Atlanta and it's great. Yeah, it's just I hate that people putting me and Cam together as like she's dating Cam. Never dated Cam.

Yeah.

No, let's make that very clear.

Never, ever, ever dated.

Never, ever dated Cam.

No, never had sex with.

If you don't date somebody how do— gonna have sex? You can just have sex with anybody out of blue! I never paid for no dick... Nope! Never had those sexy notes!

No-no-no-no-no-No-I-don't-lie—I truly dont lie—you-can-ask-me-about-some-other-people-i-can-tell-you-if-had-sex-with-them-but-nO-definitely-not-Kim Okay Such a beautiful person.

Okay, so every person that comes on my show, they always answer this one question. If there's one thing you can talk less about, what would it be?

One thing I could talk less about? Mm-hmm. Politics.

You haven't said one thing about politics today. Practice a little, talk about it less. Oh really? What would you do more of?

One thing I talk more about? Or do more of? Do more of? Work out.

Work out? Like order more DoorDash so you can go to more deliveries?

I feel like I don't work out enough.

What's the workout routine that you have currently?

Uh, I go to the gym at 9:00 AM and I'm out of there like at 10:00. I only do an hour a day and I feel like I could do even more sessions during the day. Out, out through the day, or just go in the gym longer in the morning. But I'mma figure it out.

Mm, okay, okay.

I have a trainer for you. I'mma train them myself.

What's your favorite workout? Like, what's your favorite exercise?

Uh, probably the StairMaster.

You can get on StairMaster?

Mm-hmm. I love the StairMaster.

What's the most floors you've ever climbed? Hmm? What's the most floors you've ever climbed on a StairMaster?

I think about 104. How long did it take you? 46 minutes.

Okay, that's realistic. Okay, I was gonna, I was gonna see. That's fast though, like that's good. Yeah. Damn, you've done 100 floors. So I used to see this thing, you know, Mr. 2 Weeks Out? So he owns the gym called The Loft, right? So he used to have this challenge where they would do 100 floors in 20 minutes. So now I started doing the 100 floors, like I'm trying to get it within 20 minutes. I can do 50 in 10 minutes easily, but like doing 100, taking a toll on you, and your thoughts— no, I don't really take a toll on me. Like, I would say that my 100 floors would be like 22 minutes. Okay, so I'm, I'm like within that range. You still behind me though. Hey, hey, but you have something to look forward to.

Yes, mm-hmm. I'm going to try to do that challenge.

20 minutes and 100 floors. Mhm. You should do it on Instagram. You should also do like every time you get a follower, you climb a floor on StairMaster.

That's crazy. Why? Cuz people start following you on purpose now.

I'm not right falling for that. You will be like 200 lbs in like 2 months cuz you working out so much.

Yeah, that's, that's a good idea though.

All you're going to be is on StairMaster working out. You're not going to have time to be hungry. Fact. So then you're going to be 200 lbs. So then, then you can actually say like, yeah, I'm 200 lbs. But you got to be careful though, cuz like when you at that weight You know, it's hard on your heart, so you got to like make sure your heart is okay. Yeah, we don't want you to, you know, we don't want nothing to happen to your heart, cuz I've been heartbroken. Trust me, you don't want that.

I think there's a different type of heart pain I'mma get, wait, than being heartbroken.

Have you been heartbroken ever? No. Why not? Never been in love? Yeah. Never?

Yes, I've been in love, but I've never been heartbroken.

So she's still in your life?

I've been very disappointed, but I wouldn't say I was heartbroken. Like, having a broken heart, people just use that term a lot. Like, for something to break your heart, it breaks you. It did break me. Like you can't even eat.

I can't eat.

I've never been in a situation where I couldn't eat.

Can't eat, can't sleep, can't think, can't work, can't do shit.

Yes, I know I was a hard worker. I always was able to eat.

Hmm, I wish. No, I couldn't think, I couldn't do nothing. I was just sitting there and crying. That's life. No, it's not. The fuck is that?

Hell no, it's gonna happen. No, it shouldn't. It shouldn't, but it's gonna happen.

Have you seen me? Why would it happen to me? Somebody like me? It should not happen to somebody like me.

Or somebody like you.

Do you see this? Why would somebody break this heart? What, a tall heart? Tall, beautiful, dressed in pink, like looking so, you know, fire. You do.

You are fire. Mm-hmm. Hot, cute, smart, sexy. Other than this, like, what do you do? Do you got any other links?

Links in bio? No, I don't. Okay. Oh, you wanted to see if I had a link? No, no links. I mean, you know, for sponsorships, sure, we do have links, but no Fansly.

Fansly? Only OnlyFans. For that. Nah, you will make a killing. I thought about it.

Yeah, I think like if I were to start one right now, but then you're going to lose all the brand deals. Not that I have any brand deals, but hey.

But you'll make a lot of money. How much? A lot.

Like $1,500?

Like $50 million. Really? Danielle Bregoli made $50 million on OnlyFans. Who? Cash Me Outside girl.

Do you guys think I should start an OnlyFans? What would I be posting on there? Whatever you want. My areolas?

Whatever you feel like.

So people can see if it's the same color as my— yeah, yeah. That's sad. No, I can't do that. I don't think I can do that. I don't think I can do any sex work. I'm sorry, I'm not giving you— like, no. The type of content I would post, they were not going to pay for that. Maybe I'm mistaken, I don't know. Maybe they should let me know. Maybe I should drop it. Yeah, link in bio.

You drop a link in bio, I'm telling you, you going to get a lot of clicks.

Clicks is one thing, but money is a different thing.

No, they going They gonna subscribe, they're gonna spend that.

But then I want to get married, I want to have kids, like, eh, you can still do that.

No, you can't, bro. Kim Kardashian.

And Kim Kardashian did what? And you can't even find the sex tape.

So, but I'm saying still, like, she still live her life. She's a great person, she's into law, billionaire, she have one of the best brands in the world. That didn't stop her.

This is actually her brand, this is Skims. What I'm wearing right now, Skims.

That's how real it is.

Shout out to you, Kim Kardashian. I would love to sit across from Kim Kardashian, and you will. And I would love to have her on Talk Less Show, and you will. And Shaq, with the real Shaq, Shaquille O'Neal, you will.

Manifestation is a real thing, and it might be this year because you growing fast. I'm seeing you everywhere. So I don't know why people say it.

I feel like I've been doing this for so long Well, from what I'm seeing, right, like I'm seeing you everywhere. Yeah, because like people now, even when I met you and I met Marco, they were like, oh yeah, I've seen you around. I'm like, damn, seriously, people do see me.

No big deal, you think? And it's podcast world, of course. I love that. You unique. You're the only 6'2" Russian podcaster woman. It's not that much.

It's not much of that. Yeah, that's why I can't settle down with nobody because like I like men too much. I like to flirt too much. I don't really like to have sex with them, but I can flirt. That's weird.

What do you mean that's weird? Why flirt with them?

Hold up, let me get my handle. Um, why not? To each his own. But like, why would I want to have sex with them? Everybody, like, that's just, that's just like nasty.

You gotta have sex with everybody. You have sex with people you flirt with.

It would be a lot of people. I'm flirty by nature. I don't think I can have sex with everybody. That's just too much sex.

That's too much. Too much sex. Sex.

Like, that would mean that me and you would have to have sex.

I'm saying that's—

huh, what'd you say? It's not wrong. It's not— no, just because you got me a flower from CVS, it does not mean that I have to have sex with you.

It don't, but I'm saying if you were to, it wouldn't—

like, it would be cool. Really? That's what you want?

No, I'm just saying if it was to happen, it's like—

but I feel like if we were to have sex, you would just like dump me the next day and then you're not going to talk to me, and it's like, I'm gonna have—

oh no, I'm fucking you for at least a week. I'm getting 7 days out of that at least. So no way.

I'mma call the police. That's the time when I'mma call the police. What, a week? That's all you're giving me, a week? No, I'm saying at least. What's at most? A year. See, you getting sleepy. I knew that.

No, I'm just— liquor is taking a toll on me.

Yeah, at least a week. Anyways, that really hurt my feelings.

I apologize. Don't ever say that.

I won't. I'm worthy more than a week. Like, say at least like a month or some shit.

I don't know.

Yes, at least let's run it back. I feel like if me and you were to have sex, that would be weird. No, I won't.

I'll definitely fuck you for at least a month. Really? Yes.

Okay. Yeah, we can, you know, we can work with that. Yeah, that's something. Yeah.

Okay. I like that. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah.

Thank you for running it back. That's different. All right. Well, I feel like it's getting really late.

Yes.

You want to go home? I don't—

I'm not rushing you, but I would love to go finish watching the game. What game?

Spurs versus OKC. Anyways, you know, I would have bought you a gift, but I don't think they make your size.

Um, the gift for you being here is the best gift of all. The presence is a present.

Yeah, that's what, that's what they said. The soul, that's what matters. The soul. Yeah. I don't believe any of that, just by the way. Anyways, well, thank you so much for coming on. Where can people find you?

You can find me on Instagram at Pudgy, P-U-D-G-I-E-E-E. You can find me on TikTok at Pudgy Finesse, Twitch Pudgy 16, YouTube Pudgy Finesse again, OnlyFans I can say it. Yeah, Honey Bun Bandit on OnlyFans. Twitter, same thing, Honey Bun Bandit. Fansly, Honey Bun Bandit.

You for real have those? Yeah, actually. Yeah. Can I see what it's on there?

Yeah, when we get off here, I'll show you.

You guys better subscribe because I need to see what's in there. Well, thank you so much for coming on. What made you agree to come on the show?

Because you're such a beautiful person. Of course, I wanted to get to know more of you.

Did you feel like you got to know me? Yes. And that's how you know men ain't shit, because all they want to know is fucking and sucking. Anyways, huh?

I know we spoke about a lot.

Yeah, we spoke about life. We went so deep. I've never gone so deep before ever in my life. Yeah, give me chills. I'm sorry, I always have that effect.

I know.

I hope you got that on camera. I'mma let you know how it goes with this new guy since I've been heartbroken with this other guy. So, but you know what, there's always a guy.

Yeah.

And if we do work out in any chance Hey, I'm here if you need me.

I would.

I'mma call away. At least you're gonna call me, you know, because them motherfuckers don't be calling. But hey, don't switch up. Like, if you call me, you're gonna call me for the rest of my life, because like, I don't— I'm not gonna deal with you calling me like for a month. Of course, call me for the rest of my life. I will. Okay, anyways, you guys, well, thank you for watching. I got a rose. This is the first rose I ever got. We're going to keep it in the studio. Thank you so much. I feel like I'm going to switch my type to fat guys.

That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah.

You want to take your shirt off completely? Huh? No. Um, anyways, subscribe, like, comment, share, and let us know who you want to see on here next, cuz maybe Marco's going to come on. Not maybe, I know he's going to come on. He's coming on. He's coming on. Yeah, can I flirt with him?

Yeah, do what you want.

Okay, see, my man said I can flirt with Marco. Anyways, we'll see you guys on the next one. Bye! Good job, it looks like you completely naked. Oh my God.