Surviving the Hood, Dating Little People & the "Hoe Is Life" Philosophy | w/ ThrowedOffJuan

Yeah, I pray before I fuck. Goddamn. She was teaching me how to scam and shit. You got a nigga right now?

No. Maybe. I don't know. This Atlanta slang, it's hard for me to understand it sometimes.

You know?

7? You knew how to have sex at 13?

Don Julio? Bring out the real hoe shit. White folk, black men.

What? What are you trying to say?

Rock the boat.

Who rocked the boat?

Beat shit down. I got kicked out of middle school for smashing a white bitch. Black folk. We learn all the other shit from the white folk. The land I'm from, good time, finish.

I've never been, so I don't know. If I were to go, what do I have to watch out for?

I mean, they gonna try to fuck you. I ain't gonna lie.

Don't look at me like that. Don't kill me.

Female like shit like this. They want to get killed.

Throw it up one.

Why you looking at me in my eye like this? I'll choke you. Spit in your mouth. People, I got a boyfriend, suck your dick the next day. Say hoe is life.

No.

You fuck with niggas? You got 10p. All right, I'm going to drop this Russian latte, y'all.

Check me out. This is Talk Less. Talk less, do more.

One.

Oh, why is it throw it off one?

What?

Why is it your name?

What, throw it off?

Yeah.

Shit.

Get your mic close to your mouth.

I don't like putting the mic too close to my mouth. I'm a real nigga.

Why not?

But nah, shit, could. Like, you just don't seen shit kind of throw your head off a little bit, make you think different.

Who are you throwing your head to?

No, I'm just saying, like, throw it off is like a term, like, how I'mma say it, uh, I ain't gonna say— I can't really say crazy. It more like you a little off. Like, you ain't, you ain't like everybody else. You see shit for what it is. Hmm. You know, I ain't got no imagination, I got realization.

What? How do you come up with content then?

My content be real shit. I don't make up the shit like for my content. My content be shit motherfucker really can see and go through and or been a part of or witness or don't want to talk about. Nah, I don't know what I'm saying. I try to be like a realist in my shit. I don't try to be like exaggerate or none of that. I try to just I'm from the hood. I'm gonna show y'all how it go.

Okay, that's what I want to talk to you about.

Because you want to talk about the hood?

Yeah.

All right, don't open either.

What if I went there, what would happen?

I don't even want to say what I'm saying because they're gonna be like, this nigga raw.

See it? I mean, listen, the picture that we posted—

I'm not gonna try to pimp you.

Pimp me? Yeah. Where?

I'm from Camden, Camden Road. I really originate off of Zone 1, you know what I'm saying? My grandmama, my mama, they was in the Bluff, the Bluff, you know what I'm saying? You might be hearing like Ralo and shit talk about the Bluff.

I have no idea what you just said. I don't know nothing about that. Yeah, you got to explain.

My pops and shit from Harrow Home, he from the county. So like, I one of them kid When I came up, I came on Westside, baby. Then my mama started moving everywhere, like Campbellton, Cascade, Ben Hill, so swatch, you know what I'm saying?

Wait, so this is— we're, we're down on the Southside, we're in East Point, so it's another side.

No, like one front, like 10 minutes, about 10 minutes from them, no more than 10 minutes. It just looked different though. When I was coming up, it was red dirt and orange bricks.

That's right, because I remember somebody said if you go to Union City, it's going to be very dangerous.

Union City, man, the fuck? Nobody go to no Union City. Nigga don't go there, okay?

Because I remember I was filming something a couple years ago, and then they said just be careful going there.

I don't fuck with Union City. My brother got killed out there.

Really? Okay, so it is dangerous.

That shit country. It's just, man, shit country.

What's the difference?

Ain't nobody down here claiming they from Union City, bro.

But what's the difference between country and then hood?

I mean, all this shit country, don't get me wrong. The whole Georgia, Atlanta, all this shit country. But it just like the city more like lingo, finesse, you know what I'm saying? Like, there was type of shit going on in the city. Like, people who not from Atlanta got a big mis— what you call— misconception of Atlanta. The Atlanta I'm from Good time, finesse.

Finesse? Yeah, what you finessing there?

That's what we do out here.

But, but what is it like? How does— okay, I've never been, so I don't know. If I were to go, what do I have to watch out for?

I mean, they going to try to fuck you. I ain't going to lie, like, in the city, they see—

I mean, in Atlanta, period, it's just—

they going to try to fuck and they going to try to pimp you. They going to definitely try to pimp you.

Where? What? You can't— I'm too big, like, I'm too tall, I'm too noticeable.

Shit, nigga don't give a fuck about that. Niggas see you can make some money. White girl in the city, man, niggas trying to make some money with your ass.

But I'm not white, I'm Russian. It's different.

Same shit.

No, it's not.

That's just like an African saying, I ain't black, I'm African. Shit, the same shit.

I'm white.

I ain't never understood this shit.

What, what, what part?

Cuz your skin, your skin.

Is that, is that so? That's how you define people in there? So if you see somebody who is like lighter complexion, you're like, you white, you white or black, or you light skin, or yellow bone, or you red.

Yellow bone, you ain't that far from yellow bone.

What the fuck is that?

Yellow bone, like, uh, what's her name, like, uh, what she at? He might not be yellow bone, like, uh, Cooley Rae, yellow bone. Oh yeah, yeah, yellow bone, it's like she lighter than light. Like, you got light skin and you got red bone. They got a little melanin, like the red bone got a little melanin in them. Then you got the yellow bone, they closer to like the white. Then you got like the white, then you got like the albino. But really, no, the albino come before the white, right? Albino come before the white.

How? Well, I guess, yeah, I guess it makes sense. Damn. So like, when you're growing up, you just don't— those are the definitions that you have. You don't see anything else.

When I was growing up, I ain't see my first white person until I was like in the 6th grade.

What?

I'm really from the hood. Like, who we growing up, it was like, don't take your ass over there, don't take your ass over there, don't go far as I can't see you from right here. So it was just like that, how that shit was growing up. When I got in middle school, my mama, we actually moved out to Cobb County.

Uh-huh.

That the first time I seen a white person.

What'd you think?

Not on TV, yo, but I'm talking about in person. Yeah, I ain't never had seen a white person.

What'd you think?

I ain't had nothing to think. I just knew it was different.

Were you like, ooh, this different? Were you like excited or you're like, I don't really care?

I ain't care. I ain't had nothing to get— I ain't racist in that.

Well, it's not racist. It's like when you don't know, when you see something for the first time, it's like, oh, like, okay. So when I went to China for the first time, I was 14 years old, but I've been this height since I was 12.

Bro, you been 6 feet since 12?

6'2" since I was 12. Yes. My mom, you see, she's tall. So we— well, she's sitting down, but she's 5'11". My dad is like 6'4", 6'5".

Me and your mom, we like close in height. You like, you passed that shit.

But when I went to China for the first time, I'm 14. So I remember I took a train to the Forbidden City. It's like the buildings out there, like the red buildings. And I walked out on the Guys, I'm so sorry for taking the time from the episode, but we do have to give shout out to our sponsors, Honey Drip Network. And I know people are raving about trading online, so if you've been looking for a sign to start trading, this is your sign. Honey Drip Network is offering a free 7-day trial, and when I say 7-day trial, I mean it. There's no risk associated, that it's completely free. All you gotta do is show up and learn how to trade. They're gonna do all the heavy lifting. You don't have to do no guesswork. You don't have to search the YouTube universe on to trade. You don't have to watch a lot of random videos. They got it all handled for you. So again, HoneyDrip Network is doing 7-day free trial and I mean it. So if you want to be just like me and learn how to trade, because trust me, you're going to see me in there learning how to trade and it's about time for me to learn how to do that. And I know nothing about that. It is suitable for beginners. It's suitable for all levels. So sign up. I'm going to leave the link in the description. And I hope to see you there. Now we're going to go right back to the episode. I walked out on that plaza thing and people started touching my hair, touching me, taking pictures with me, grabbing me like it was a shit show.

That's how they do Atlanta, nigga. We go anywhere else, they do it the same. Where you from? From Atlanta. They be on your dick.

They going to touch you?

Man, they'll do everything. Threesomes, all kinds of shit. Feed you.

No, but I was fortunate.

Let you drive they cars and shit.

It was— I mean, like, in China, it was like as if they've never seen anything of a kind before. Like blonde hair, tall, and then I had a tennis racket with me because I was playing tennis, man. They thought I was Maria Sharapova. It was the most insane thing in the world. I'm never going back. I'm never— because it's like, it was too much.

I mean, look at you.

Yeah, but you know, when they surround— at 14 years old, they surrounded me. I was like, this shit is scary.

That won't happen. I want no celebrity or nothing at 14. They got it bad.

It's crazy. But like, you know, but that was like my experience. So when I saw that, I was like, it wasn't like, oh my God, an Asian person. But I'm just like, y'all are just out of your minds. I'm not doing this. I had to go to China again because I was flying through China to go to Australia. And the last year my mom saw it and she was like, I did not even— she thought I was making shit up. And when she saw it, she was like, what the hell? Like, this is insane.

They thought you were Jesus Christ. Shit, got tall-ass white girl, got the Russian. Yeah, see, and China, crazy. They never seen tall in all them. Like, average Chinese person about what, 5'2" or some shit.

But they would— but they would be like, you know, they'd be like 5'2" and then they would be extremely tall. So like, they have this huge height difference. Some people are like, you know, that basketball player, he's super big. Yeah, how do I mean?

Ain't from China though.

He is from Chinese. He's Chinese. He's like 7 what, 7'5"? Okay, well 7'3" or something. Like, he's tall as fuck. Like, he used to be one of the tallest men.

Yeah, Yamin was like 7 foot.

Mm-hmm.

But I don't remember him being from China though. I thought he was Korean.

Okay, do you know they'll look different? What, the Korean, Chinese, and Japanese?

Oh, that shit the same. I told you they were tall as shit. They Asian, man.

That's crazy, man. No, I get it, I get it. Like, yeah, when you say they Asian, but it's so different because like, I guess maybe it's just our perception how we talk about different appearances and how it is in America is just like, goddamn, you just slapped the label and that's it.

I mean, you got Asians. That's what they is.

Did you see any Asians when you were growing up?

Hell yeah, they was in the hood. China Cafeteria, Hans, American Deli.

Yeah, see, so you've seen some diversity. So have you, uh, so have you ever dated a white girl?

I got kicked out of middle school for smashing a white girl in the bathroom. Tore her head down. No bullshit.

Middle school?

Yeah, her name Whitney. She had— ain't gonna lie, she was the only white girl. She had a black girl ass. Like, we was in middle school, she the only one had ass and titties already.

How old were you?

I was like 13.

13?

Yeah, yeah.

You knew how to have sex at 13, man?

Down here, we were fucking. We were hunching like 9, 10. About 12, 13, you already in that shit.

Wait, what? 9, 10?

Yeah, a lot of free time.

So you've been doing it for how many years? 30 years now? How old are you?

Yeah, 33.

33?

Probably fucking like 25.

Yeah. Goddamn. Jesus Christ. And that was it?

What?

That was the only white girl that you—

I actually, uh, I, you know, I dated like— I dated a white girl before, but it wasn't like— I can't really say we were dating each other. She was teaching me how to scam and shit.

What?

That's where we get it from. Black folk, we learn all the other shit from the white folk.

What'd you learn? Did you scam?

She taught me how to do a lot of shit.

Did you use it?

Yeah, for a minute.

For a minute? You make some money?

Yeah.

See, she was valuable.

She was cool.

And then what happened?

Shit, they got tired of that shit.

You got tired of it?

Yeah.

But like, would your parents accept that? They wouldn't. They would be like, no, fuck that, that's not happening.

Shit, my parents got them having their own shit going on.

What they got going on?

I mean, my momma work, my daddy work, but they just got their own shit going on.

Are they married?

Nah, my parents ain't never been married.

They still together or no?

Nah, they ain't. They weren't even together when I came out.

So who did you live with? Mom, Dad?

Shit, I stayed with moms, but I stayed with Grandmama, you know what I'm saying? Then Dad went to prison. I used to be with Dad too. He went to prison, everything changed. Be with Mama more. Then my cousin Tony, I used to be at my cousin's house more than anything. And just outside, I want no kids. Like, I don't give a fuck, I'm going outside.

Really? Damn, that's crazy. But I guess it's like a typical story, is it? No, is that not normal? I don't know, you got to tell me. I'm trying to figure it out.

I don't know, I just know shit. You just go outside. Who growing up outside was better than video game?

Oh yeah, I don't— I hate that shit when you have to just— you just lock to the screen. Those kids, they're—

yeah, my momma used to be like, get the fuck out, don't go in and out the house.

What games did you play?

What? We used to play Animal House. I'm saying, play, you know, inner hog is—

what's that?

No, inner hog, like you got, got a stick or a baseball bat, we got a tennis ball, you hit it and then somebody be in the outfield where you at, you got to roll it, and if you hit the bat with the ball, you get to hit next.

Oh, so it's like a, like you create a sport.

Yeah, inner hog, we play throw them up, bust them up, play goddamn basketball, goddamn Herbie Kirbys and shit, uh, what them thing called them crates, we put the crates on the light pole shit like that. Go to the park.

Damn.

How to go get it. How to go get all the shit.

So you still outside? Like, do you like to be outside?

Yeah, but I don't really be outside. I got you to be.

Hmm. So how did you become a comedian? What made you funny, man?

I always been funny. That shit been following me my whole life. I had got down— I got out of jail and tried it, really. I was in jail. They used to be funny taking TVs and shit, so I I'd be joining them, nigga, and be fighting too. And then when I got out, they had the app called Vine. My dog Eurek, he had linked me up with Fly DJ, I think, uh, Vic Moneybag. It was somebody else too, I can't remember. It was one more person. But, um, they were telling me get on Vine, and I started getting on Vine, and the videos started going up. And that thing, you know, I walked on stage. First time I went on stage, 2015.

2015?

Yeah.

Damn, so you've been doing it for a minute.

Yeah.

And you've known them for a very long time. Yeah. Damn. But it's different though. Vine was like, what, 3 seconds long?

6.

6? Oh, so how do you become funny in 6 seconds? That's impossible.

I ain't never try. I just get on there and say some shit, whatever come to mind.

Really? So you just unhinged, like, period. That's not even a character.

Oh, I just feel like you just say what you mean, mean what you say.

Did you mean everything you said in the woods?

Probably. I said a lot of shit in the woods.

That was some crazy shit. The pictures that you guys have seen. Oh yeah, a lot of people have seen that. They have—

they—

I still get DMs. They're like, drop the link, drop the link. When is the link coming?

They want the link. Chosen one.

But that was good times though. It was good times. You guys are just crazy. All of you are crazy. So, okay, so what are we doing with me in the hood? If I were in the hood, how would I— what the hell do I do there?

I told you they're gonna try to pimp you.

But like, how do I survive that? I don't want to get pimped.

You might do.

No, what? Why?

Good. I mean, you making some money, you help somebody make some money.

Well, how much is some money? What kind of money are they giving me?

What you charge?

Shit, what are we working with?

Shit, whatever skill you know, what you charging.

But like, okay, what are the numbers looking like? How are you staying?

Like, I mean, for you, I'm going for the high.

What's the high?

I probably started like $2,500.

Oh, okay. And what's like the, the minimum? What's— what, how far can we go? What, 25? Who got $2,500 in the hood?

A lot of niggas. Why are they in the hood?

But why are they still there?

Got truck stops. Okay, you feel what I'm saying? Drug dealer.

Wait, what, what will I have to do there though?

All kinds of shit. Shake ass, freaky shit.

Can't do that. Trap. What's that?

You end up in the truck.

No, what's that?

Cook it up.

What the fuck? Bag it up for $2,500 so you can go to jail for the rest of your life.

You don't go to jail, you're gonna think about jail. We serve in front of police where I'm from.

You do what?

They serving in front of the police where I'm from.

They serve in front of the police? Yeah. How, man?

He probably don't give a fuck.

Do they do the same thing too?

What?

I don't know.

Yeah, yeah, in Atlanta ain't no telling. Couple police officers known in the street for being gangsters.

Really?

Nah, bro, I'm bullshitting, bro. She think I'm bullshitting.

I'm taking it back. This is some new information I've never heard before. Damn, for $2,500, man. Nah, I don't think I can make it there.

Nah, you might do though. You might make more. You might be the reason why I come up. We need a goddamn— we need a new face on Allison and other shit like that. To the new— come back and buy back the block.

You want me to be the new face?

They'll love you out there, little kids and all. They'll be trying to climb you like a tree though.

The kids?

Yeah, them kids bad as fuck though. They ain't uncensored. They gonna say whatever come to their mind.

And what is that gonna be?

Ain't no telling.

I'm scared. If you are uncensored, I can only imagine what's gonna be there.

Kids, terrible. It's a whole new generation of kids now.

What do they say? But like, what are they— where do they get the information from? How do they know what to say?

They got access to these phones and these tablets. See, these kids smarter than what we think they are because they can see everything like this. We were growing up, we couldn't see everything like this. We had to go outside to see shit. These kids can literally see outside on their phone, on their tablet, and on TV.

No.

Yeah, this shit don't change.

I'm scared now.

You scared of it?

I don't think I want to go there.

To the trenches? It's great. Ain't nobody gonna do nothing to you. I just told you, they gonna try to— they gonna try to get you though.

What if I were— what if I got a boyfriend there?

They don't give a fuck about no boyfriend down here.

What would it mean to be—

I got a boyfriend down here. Everybody got a boyfriend.

They all have boyfriends down there?

All of them got a boyfriend. They just don't be liking no nigga for real.

So how does that work?

Or their boyfriend might be fucking with Buddy though. You can't say what I— butter though. You know what I mean by butter though?

No, what is that?

Butter though.

What does that mean?

Butter though.

Like a man?

Butter them.

What does that mean? I don't know what that means.

You just said butter though.

Kord, what does that mean? Like what I just showed you earlier from the skit?

Butter though.

That's the kind of kind?

So these girls, shit, they be lying. Bitch, I got a boyfriend, suck your dick the next day. Probably later on that night. Real shit.

And then go back to the boyfriend?

Go back like ain't nothing happened. Take a picture with him and post it for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

That's how the relationship go?

This shit be for real. I don't believe nobody no more. When somebody be like, I'm in love, man, stop fucking lying.

So you don't believe in love at all?

I feel like everybody on they survival shit. They just find somebody they can, you know, mate with and got that figured out.

Really? You don't believe that love exists?

I really— I'd rather, uh, I'd rather have trust and respect than love.

What's the difference? What's the difference?

Love, shit, anybody can love you, but shit, most of the time people that love you hurt you.

Trust is a little bit different, but you have to earn the trust though, so you got to work towards trust.

You know what I'm saying? I'd rather have trust and respect.

But how would you know if you can trust her?

I know you would trust a female.

Mm-hmm.

Shit, she gotta go through some shit with me.

Like what?

Whatever come.

Like the trenches?

I don't know, I don't think the trenches really some shit to go through.

No? Why not?

I ain't one of them niggas that want to be in the street forever.

So where you live now?

I still Sharon Falls.

Where is that?

Right west end.

Okay, so you out of that area? Do you go back home?

No, I'm still in the area.

Where are your parents? They're still there?

My parents, they done off. They done had their time, tribulation with this shit. Hmm.

Okay. Interesting. Interesting. I feel like you're projecting now. On all of the women. You think that women lie, huh?

Nigga, everybody lie. You raised like—

how?

Just raised like that. Some shit just didn't make sense. You make shit up.

Like what? Because now I'm confused.

Confused about what?

About why you— why there's no love? What happened to love?

Love like with Grandmama though.

You loved your grandma?

I'm saying that was love, was it though? Like Grandmama though.

Really? Damn, that's sad. So what you gonna do? Are you— what are you— are you dating somebody? Oh, why are you thinking so? I don't think I'm dating.

I'm just—

what do you mean you don't think you're dating? What you doing?

Vibe.

Fucking?

Vibe.

Fucking?

A lot of it. We're vibing.

How many?

How many what?

Women?

Shit, I don't know.

You don't count?

Nah, I don't be touching these bitches no more. They sick. It's only one or two things: pregnant, disease. Pregnant, disease.

So what you do?

Shit, man. Yeah, I almost swung on your ass.

But what do you do if that's what you say, that's what they do, then what do you do?

I mean, shit, you get your rocks out, but I don't really be stunning your bitch.

Why not?

Because I don't be talking about nothing.

I think you're hurt.

Nah.

Do you think all comedians are hurt?

Nah. Nah, I ain't hurt. Shit, everybody had the one they want and the one they lost. It's life.

And who do you want?

I just want to be me, get where I gotta go, then I focus on goddamn this shit. I get married one day.

You will?

Yeah, probably one nigga get married. Like, I probably had like the poly shit though, like had like 2, 3 wives and shit.

Who you gonna marry though? One of them?

Whenever it come.

But like, if you do the poly, then you got to choose one to marry. No, you can't.

No, you can't.

No, not in Atlanta.

You can marry all of them, man.

Oh, how many IDs do you have?

I don't think you got to go all the way legit with this shit, with the marriage shit. I'm going more like spiritual.

Oh, you're spiritually going to be married to them?

Yeah.

Oh yeah, that's right, that's right. What is that going to look like?

Shit, they gonna be comfortable. I don't think no nigga alive just want to just— I don't know, I might be wrong, but like, how can you just pick one?

Because you just love her and you trust her and you respect her and you just pick one. Twin has a girlfriend, he loves her.

No, I'm saying you could pick one. That's the one you want to come home to and you want to build, you know, whatever, whatever. But like, you're a man. I'm 33, bro.

And You've been fucking for 25 years.

I'm just saying though, and I'm headed towards a successful career. I don't want to look a bitch in her face and lie to her. I never—

So you're going to pick another one so you can lie to her face?

I never touch another bitch in my life. I swear. That's a fucking lie. That's a bold-faced lie. I don't even understand why females be having them, but goddamn, what's the word? I think you said truce. 50 out there, but like, come on, man. You know a nigga gonna fuck up. You know it.

No, I'm not gonna project that. I'm not gonna manifest that.

You know a nigga gonna fuck up, bro.

No.

They're like, nigga know a female to fuck up.

No, I'm not fucking up.

You might.

No, I'm not.

You might find somebody more attractive, more money, got more shit going on, and might end up just out. Like, at first, see, this is what I know. At first, a female, she with you, she don't entertain no nigga. Nobody.

No, right?

Until she might come across— there's somebody that just might be eye appealing to her. But you know why?

No, it's not eye appealing. It's because when you start getting checked out, she's like, well, shit, now I'm checked out too. So I'm—

what if I ain't checked out? What if I just like—

she would not go nowhere if you're not checked. If you there, she's not going nowhere. That's something you guys don't understand about women.

I know. I don't be worried about this shit. Oh, I ain't one of them niggas. I ain't pressed by what a bitch do. I don't care what a bitch do, as long as you don't cross me. Once you cross me, I'm gone. I'm out your way.

What's the crossing? What she got to do to cross you?

Man, shit, once I see that somebody else got access to your time and you, I'm done.

Access to the time?

Yeah.

Huh. So like if she's on the phone with him?

Man, any invitation with a nigga. If you my bitch, if you fucking with me and you get any nigga access to you, I'm done with you.

But what's access? What do you— how do you define that? A text message? A phone call? Going out on a date?

Communication rules the nation.

So like, basically, if a guy looks at her, that's it?

I ain't saying all that. I'm just saying in general, invitation. If you got— if you give somebody enough time to get involved with you, Period. And then you ain't my bitch.

But you still can do that with other women.

What?

You can.

I'm a comedian. I'd be on set, I'd be in videos, I'd be on shows, I'd be moving. Of course I'm gonna fuck with other females. I ain't saying I gotta fuck them, but I'm gonna go all the way, be in contact with other women.

Okay, but they have access to you as a person, not as a comedian.

Know what I'm saying? In general, as long as I keep doing what I'm doing, I'm always have access to women. I got access to you then. I ain't know you. We just end up kicking shit, getting on shit, laughing. Now I'm here again, right?

You were so mean to me though when the first time I saw you on stage that we were at the spot.

I wasn't mean to you.

You were mean as hell.

They was trying to put shit on your name, you know.

Who?

They was saying you was one of them, you know.

Who? What? Huh?

So I made the joke at Atlanta Comedy Theater, remember? I like, damn, got two white girls in this shit. We go crazy. And then somebody like, hey, but you know, shout out to Goddamn.

I was like, no. Who said that?

Wait, what?

Who said that? The Charleston White Show?

Nah, like, I was like, damn, they fucked up.

Who said that?

That was at the end. They like, I seen y'all coming through, y'all going to take pictures and shit. I walk back in the room. I walk back in the room. I was like, damn, they said shout out to Buddy though.

You know, people, people be like saying shit about me, it's so crazy.

Fuck them, they be hating on you.

I know, somebody said, somebody said, oh, like, don't, don't fuck with one of my friends because I brought the friend in the building and I'm a Russian spy or some shit, and like something is going to go down. Because I was like, what? People are just so interesting.

I don't know. I've been trying to fuck with you. Shit, you all right, girl. I ain't never seen this shit before, man. They get some money. They go up. You be a YouTube couple. I don't give a fuck.

You want to be a YouTube couple?

Well, we get rich as fuck out of this shit, boy.

We just started, bro.

We get rich as fuck. YouTube couple shit, TikTok, man, Twitch. We go crazy.

Yeah, especially you and me. And you're going to be teaching me all the stuff that I need to learn.

Yeah, yeah.

Introduce me to your family.

Shit, only— I mean, I love my family, but we kind of spread apart.

Really?

We love each other though. We see each other, talk to each other, whatever. But like, everybody doing their own thing. You know, you kids, shit, everything like family-oriented. As you grow up, it's like you might not see Cuddum no more. You might not see your uncles and aunties and shit no more. Everybody grown now.

So you don't do cookouts?

Shit, hell no. My grandma passed, that kind of killed the family for me.

So where am I gonna go? What are we gonna do, man?

We're gonna fuck the shit up. I don't care about it.

Where are we going?

Everywhere.

Like, give me an example.

From Campton to Inglewood. I ain't going past Inglewood. I'm for the Eastside.

What's past Inglewood?

I'm real Westside, baby, you know what I'm saying? Like, our borderline is like Being realistic, I probably don't go past Kellner. Kellner like the last— all right, after Kellner Road, it's like you in the cab, man. You in the cab, the cab. I ain't fucking around.

I see, I use Google Maps. I'm still so confused with all these roads. You guys know the roads like down to the T. I don't know shit about roads.

Shit, you could take— you go back uphill and hit Main Street and go all the way to the city. I ain't gotta get on no highway. You can get on Memorial Drive from from Main Street to Lee Street, get on Moore Drive right down there, right before you get, uh, Magic City and shit, by the Greyhound and all that shit. You can turn on Moore Drive, go all the way to the east side. You can take Moore Drive to the east side, right? And you can go hit Covington Highway, all that shit, way up through there. And then you can take all this shit back, get on 48 and 92, and come all the way through Douglasville and all the other shit. Shit crazy.

So we're just gonna go on road trips, we're just gonna learn Atlanta. Yeah, the driving test. That's what we're gonna be doing. I'm sure we're gonna sell out.

We're gonna content trapping around, go crazy.

You're gonna get like a drop top.

We can make you a strand. Oh wait, we can make her a strand, bro.

What is that?

Now we're gonna have the product, but we can make your face be the strand. We call it like the Russian Spy.

Stop doing that to me.

We can call it the Russian Spy. No, people— I'm saying it'll be some gas. We call it a Russian Spy. That shit'll go crazy though, on it, be real. That shit'll go crazy. Russian Spy.

Isn't that like something Russian cream or some shit?

That's like Russian cream, and we can have your face on it. I fuck with it. Yeah, you got a little soul in you though. I call it Russian Latte.

You think that that's going to go far?

Hell yeah.

I don't know.

You get a strand, that shit gonna go up. I'm telling you.

So how much money are we making?

It probably take like a dude to get it all popped off. Get you about like, probably get you about 11 bands out the door.

11 bands, that's it?

No, I'm saying about 11 bands out the door. You break it down, you might see way more. It depend on what price you at. If I came out with it and had your face on it, I probably want like 10,000, 5, 6, $1,000 type shit.

So how much do you make in total?

You do the math. What's 11 times 5?

That's 55.

20 make you 30. You ain't tripping, is you?

So what you giving me?

We'll bust it down the middle. If I put up— if I put up for the shit though, like once I make back what I put up, then we bust it down.

So what's the split? Let's see.

No, I'm saying once I make back what I put up, it's 50/50.

Oh, oh, so the, the, in the beginning I don't make shit?

In the beginning, if I put up the whole thing.

Uh, but you're using my face.

That's not how it works. After I get back what I make back, we both now 50/50. That's a fair deal.

But what if it's going to take you a while to make?

What you mean? It ain't gonna take no while.

I don't know about that. That doesn't sound like it. You got to talk to my manager.

Know what I'm gonna need you for? All you gotta do is say it one time.

You gotta talk to my manager. I don't know about the manager.

All you gotta do is say it one time. I got— I'm gonna drop this Russian latte, y'all. Check me out, they gonna fuck with it. I really want your people though. I want your people to fuck with.

You know, my, my audience is mostly Black people now.

We know why.

Why?

You like niggas.

I don't think that that's why. I think I've just— I've been in the culture.

You fuck with niggas? I mean, you ever date a nigga before? Black man?

What do you think?

Yeah, yeah, you in Atlanta, you don't have to.

I've only dated Black men.

Why?

Why? Yeah, I like them.

Why though?

I just— there's just something about their aura is different.

What other— what?

Why? Tell me why. Huh?

Why you full of Black men?

Why? What are you trying to say?

Who rocked the boat?

Who rocked the boat?

Beat shit down.

But not always though.

Majority.

You'd be surprised.

I don't want to be surprised. I had a nigga.

There's a story that I heard. It didn't happen. No, actually happened to me once too. It was just very— I was like, damn, are you sure you black? Like, I was like, it was like, like this big. My friend told me the same story. One of my friends, she said she used to date a guy who was like 6'8". Same sad story. See, they be saying that men who are 5'8", they're packing. And what's your shoe size?

9.5.

That's what they said. They said from like 9.5 to 11, that's when that's a sweet spot.

Touch it now, hit the button better. It's a button better. You got your button here.

Button?

Yeah, the belly button in the back of that thing. You hitting that shit, you getting that shit, you digging in that motherfucker, you jamming shit down. It's a button in the back of the— you touch that little button a little bit, bitch go crazy.

Damn, you got it down. I mean, you got experience though, for 25 years. You better, you better know how to fuck at this point.

Yeah, I got kids and shit.

You do? How many?

7.

7?

Some.

Some? I don't know, you know, this Atlanta slang is hard for me to understand sometimes. Sell. Seven. What, what did you have time to make seven kids?

I didn't have time to make— I've been fucking up. I'll try shit out.

Kids?

Yeah.

Do you know their names?

Yeah, I know my kid's name. What the fuck?

So when do you see them?

Shit, any chance I get.

How many baby mamas?

4.

Okay, it could have been worse. Yeah, could have been worse.

I got a partner like that though. 10 kids, 10 different baby mom. That nigga going through it.

Who is paying for them?

Shit, he is.

You don't have any choice. You got to make it in life, cuz 7 kids and you— do you want more?

Hell no, this shit done. We That bitch, I get what got her swallowed.

So why didn't you do that after the second or third?

Cuz I was young. I had my first child when I was 22. I ain't know what I was doing.

And then what's the second? What's the— what's the— is there a child that was born within the same year, or two children that were born within the same year?

I had two girls pregnant one year, 2017. No, yeah, 2017.

You some Nick Cannon shit, huh?

I wasn't on Nick Cannon shit.

Damn near there.

When they open their lid, you like, let me in. I went in.

Well, there's condoms, birth control. Yeah, yeah, you know, you can explore those options.

I mean, at the time, I want to know, nigga, who like— I wasn't fucking nobody I wasn't fucking with though. I was fucking like, fucking around 3, 4, 5 years type shit. Now I want one of them nigga like, oh, I met her, got her pregnant. I don't know, shit like that. It was shit like I was traveling.

The math is not mathing. So you said 22 So if it's 4 of them, you're 33, 34. So, but they were simultaneous relationships, they were overlapping.

I ain't never get my— that why I'm on the way I'm here now. I never gave myself a chance to just experience dating. I want to know, like, I want a girl, I got to have a girl, locking in and shit. I should have been a hoe.

It's still not nothing. You were still a hoe. You were still hoeing around.

I wasn't hoeing around.

You said 3, 4 years.

I was conservative.

4 times 4 is 16.

I was conservative.

Conservative would. That's not.

It could have been way worse.

They had to be overlapping. 4 of them? You full of shit. You are lying. Yeah, because you— oh, you would have been 36 by now.

I'm 33.

Yeah, so that's not mathing.

It is math. No, it's my first baby mom. We were together for 15 till I turned 24.

Damn, why didn't you marry her?

Because I ain't want to be with her.

So for 9 years you were fucking with her, but you don't want to be with her?

No, I'm saying, as we started having kids— and she got 3 of my kids. Okay, see what I'm saying? We started having kids, shit changed. So she didn't want to be with me either. She started fucking fat niggas and shit. Broke my heart. She picked a fat nigga over me. That shit was sad.

How fat?

Nigga fat.

Maybe he was appreciating the food that she was cooking. I don't know.

I don't know either. She was trying to hide him from me. Nigga big as fuck. You can't hide no fat nigga from me.

So that hurts your feelings, huh?

Not really. I was a dog. I ain't care.

For 9 years though.

Yeah.

I want to understand that logic. How do you date somebody for 9 years and you don't actually lock it down?

I mean, at first you think y'all together, but then y'all don't be together.

What does that mean?

I think we were too young. We started like 15, 10th grade type shit. Like we ain't know, we just knew each other too much. We ain't give each other a chance to like get around, move out, you know what I'm saying? Keep the shit, find out what we like in life. We were just locked in on each other. I mean, we were crazy as fuck about each other.

Really?

Yeah.

Would you go back if she stops fucking with a fat guy?

Hell nah, it's over with. She don't have another kid and shit.

Oh really?

Yeah.

So if somebody has another kid, you don't go back there?

I don't go back once I'm done.

Really?

Yeah, that shit a wrap.

Why don't you spend the block?

Ain't no point. That's what I'm saying.

I don't know what's the point. Once you're done, you're done. Just keep it moving. Yeah, yeah.

Ain't no point.

You still have to be in their lives because, you know, you got kids.

Yeah. You just gotta goddamn pay off your loan. What's the loan?

The 18-year-old loan?

That's all it is, pay off your loan.

Up front?

I'm working on it. I'm trying to get there so I can just pay out the loan.

But I feel like it goes past the loan though, no?

Yeah, no, no, because you at— you 50% of the decision. You open your lid.

Yeah, but the kid is— I mean, what if the kid is 20 years old and the kid needs something?

Nah, shit, you know, you're gonna get your kids what your kid need.

So it's not a— I mean, it's a forever loan.

But nah, it ain't no forever loan. Like, my baby mother, she understand that they made a sacrifice with me. You see what I'm saying? Because shit, a lot of them, they dreams and ambitions, shit they wanted to do, they had kids, they changed. Me, I'm still chasing my shit, still going for what I want to go for. So I had to understand that part. I had to understand like, okay, damn, she making a sacrifice with— that's why I don't let none they do or say fuck with me like that, you know what I'm saying? At first I used to fuck with them because I'm like hands-on, always that, but then shit started getting different times, you know, going to jail, just doing doing dumb shit, having more kids, not thinking, you know what I'm saying? Shit start creating problems, but you gotta be in control of those problems. That's all I had to learn. Like, they just want to be heard. That's all it is. They just want to feel like you care.

That's literally all women want. Just give us some attention, just a little bit.

That's it.

And if you can't, just pretend. I don't fucking know. I don't know why it's so hard to understand. Just pretend like you fucking care.

That's all you got to do.

Literally. See, you got the— you got the thing down. All right, let's do the intro.

What?

We do the intro like halfway through the episode at this point.

Okay.

Hey guys, welcome back to Talk Less Show, where conversations go clearly deeper than the surface. And today's guest is a comedian, actor, entertainer who's built a reputation for making people laugh while saying true while staying true to who he is, whether it's through stand-up, acting, social media, or creating characters people instantly recognize. He's proven that talent isn't limited to just one lane. He's one of those people who can walk into a room and naturally become the funniest per— I was going to say the fattest, the funniest person in it. But behind the jokes is someone who spent years sharpening his craft and building a career in entertainment. So today we're going to be talking about comedy, acting, relationships, life lessons, and all the wild experiences that come with navigating Atlanta. Welcome to the show, Throwed One.

She just said throw one, throw off one.

Yeah, did I not say it right?

No, say it.

How do I say it?

Throwed.

What?

Throwed.

Throwed off.

Off one.

One.

There you go.

Now say it fast.

You said it fast.

No, you say it fast.

Throw it off one.

Throw it off one.

There you go.

Throw it up one.

Are you looking at me in my eye like this? I'll choke you, spit in your mouth.

Now you're talking.

Yeah, said Terry, freaking , half horse, half man.

Um, Chaotic said that too. Who? Do you know Chaotic?

Yeah, I don't know, bro. I'll be sitting on the internet and though.

He said the same thing.

Well, he said, he said that he is a half horse, half human. I don't know.

That was the first thing he told me.

I ain't never met bro and shit, but I see him doing anything online.

He came on too. Yeah, he said the same thing. I don't know what it is with people. People don't like when I look them in the eyes.

I'm with this shit. I'm looking back in your—

and then what we're gonna do?

I ain't scared of shit.

Listen, it can be dangerous.

I'm dangerous.

Don't fall in love.

Some kid. Don't get pregnant.

I don't like men who are short.

Don't worry about it, I ain't really short.

You 5'8"?

5'9".

Oh, now you're 5'9"? When'd you grow an inch?

I'm like, I'm above average.

What's the average?

I think average, like, every person height right now with 5'5"? No, no, no more than 5'7".

You're slightly below average. 5'8" is slightly below average.

No, I think 5'7".

I ChatGPT'd it, and 5'9" is the average for a man in America, so 5'8" is slightly below average.

I ain't below average though.

Join the crew.

I can't, I'm above. Why?

You don't want to be— I mean, like, average kind of horrible. You don't want to be average.

I ain't never been average.

Yeah, nothing— I don't— I'm not average either. So if you're slightly below average, that's good.

I ain't never been below average, but slightly. I don't know what that is.

Just a little bit.

Even the little— I was like the little nigga that— I was like a gladiator. I was the one who swung first, all kind of shit. Like, folks who really know me, they gonna like— you know, the episode get out, you'll see. I'm telling the truth. I was the little nigga that was doing shit, swinging on people, breaking shit. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I would be the little nigga. I would never be the big nigga. Be the little nigga.

That's true though. That's, you know, they call it Napoleon syndrome.

We just call it little man syndrome.

Well, it's Napoleon. Do you know Napoleon?

Yeah, the France dude.

Do you know how tall he was?

He was like 3'9", wasn't he?

He was tiny.

Yeah, and I think he had like pliers eyes.

And so he wanted to conquer the world. What's so funny?

Apply as a midget, right? That nigga midget, right? I think pliers a midget, but I seen him one time in person. I just seen his head, so he got to be a midget.

I don't know if I can say that word.

Wait. Midget, little people.

That we can't—

what, midget know what they is? Just like niggas know what they is. Crackers know who they is.

Don't look at me.

All this shit the same.

Don't look at my mama.

I don't even think— I don't really think they even— I don't even think that's racist terms no more, bro. Like, is that racist term? Crocker, nigga, like Migo? That shit ain't racist no more. It's just like common language.

Common language?

No, for real.

I don't know, they don't teach that, you know, where I'm from. We don't, we don't know those words.

What?

I thought cracker was a cookie.

It is. It's the same complexion as a white person.

My cookies are not really that white though. They're not. Like, I think like Saltines or some shit. That's when, when I hear cracker, that's what I hear about, like crackers.

Saltines, what color is it?

They're lighter, but they're not like— they're not really white. Is this white?

Sajean, about that color.

And you know what, I think that's why it bothers me when people call me white, because I'm like, I'm not that fucking white color. When I think white, I think that. So you probably— you probably think like nude kind of color. No, what's white? Like, it's this one.

You got a couple different shades of white. He got white in his shoes, look, all white. He got a little all white on his new bandana. I got white, it look gray.

Hmm, still offensive. I don't know, I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like— I don't know what it is, it just bothers me. I'm like, I don't know, why do I have to say it? But hey, I actually had one, uh, little person, he was in love with me. He was like just a little bit taller than my knee.

No, he was eating that motherfucker crazy.

He was just like— to this day, sometimes he texts me.

What you doing with him? You getting head from him?

Do I do what?

You getting head from him? You just say he was at your knee, you had to be getting head from him.

No, he can't jump up like, you know, from a knee. You still got to go some way.

I just be holding on to both of your legs and shit, going crazy.

No, no, you don't do that.

You got to turn a bitch out.

Why would I want to do that with a little person?

Shit, he probably did it to you.

No, I mean, listen, I just think that that's, that's not gonna happen.

So you're never fuck with a Mechie?

No, why would I want to do that?

You never know, he might make you happy. See, that's what's wrong with women these days, y'all overlooking what's in front of you.

Oh yeah, it's gonna be a good match, huh?

It might be, you never know. You never know who gonna be the one that gonna change your life.

Oh no, that's definitely gonna be life-changing. I'm sure that's gonna change my life.

I would never look at me the same. The midget might teach you how to be— how to think small in bigger situations, because sometimes you might be overthinking and you might think a little bit smaller.

It's got to be how to think big in small situations.

You might teach them how to do that. See what I'm saying?

No, I can't. I can't. I can't do it. Can you imagine? How do you even kiss that person?

You gotta pick them up.

Pick them up?

I don't talk to a little midget bit before.

How was it?

She was cool.

What'd you do?

Climbing the car and shit. Gave us a head in the car.

That's so wrong.

She was fine.

Why is she— what happened?

I mean, shit, she just was a midget hoe. She wanted to fuck with everybody.

So you're okay when people do that?

What?

Like they just want to fuck with everybody and like find these people?

Nobody. What I supposed to do? Bitch don't do it. Turn on some shit. Yes. You want to get beat on? So that's what you saying?

No, I'm just— I'm not a hoe.

You heard how she just said it? She straight up just said she want— she just said you supposed to slap a bitch out.

No, that's not what I said. I said don't call me a hoe.

What?

I'm not a hoe, so I would never be in that position.

Everybody a hoe.

How?

Everybody got a track record.

What's a hoe?

Track record.

What does that mean?

10 or better.

10 or more?

You hoe it up.

If you had more than 10 men?

You hoe it up.

I'm a virgin. Anything before 2020 doesn't count.

10 or better, you a hoe. It's just life.

There's no way.

Hoe is life. Say it with me. Hoe is life. Say it.

I think hoes have it amazing in life.

No, say hoe is life. No. Say it. You know, everybody—

what if I'm with Nine?

I know you ain't in there.

How do you know that?

I just know. You don't know. The lips and the eyes and how you look at niggas.

No, I'm not.

I ain't gonna say you've been ran through, huh? I think you've been ran through.

I know I have not been ran through. 10 piece.

Everybody got a 10 piece. 10 piece.

But men are different though.

You can't 10 piece.

No, no, you got a 10 piece. No, no, I don't know my number.

The comments gonna tell when the episode drop. They gonna all be like, yo, she got a 10 piece for sure. You fuck with nigga, you got 10 piece.

What does that make— what, how, what are you trying to say, that they just gonna fuck me and drop me?

No, some. Everybody got that. That don't happen to everybody. I done been hit and quit before. I'll smack some shit, then she'll block me after this. Did you do good? Did you do well? You don't even know. Like, the bitch just ain't talking to you no more.

You don't get a review?

I don't got some head before and ain't talk to a bitch no more.

That's different though. Does that count?

No, I just think they want to get their rocks off. Some girls that do it because they want to see if they can make it get though.

Does that count if like— does that— do you count that as a body if you do a little head here and there?

Yeah, I count everything that touched me. I'm past 10.

I feel like you're past 100 at this point.

Might be. I might be past 1,000. When that Instagram shit first started going up, I'll pull up one so you don't know the story. I was really like dogging shit back then.

1,000?

Maybe.

How many times have you had STDs?

Shit, I got burnt like 2 times in my whole life.

You got lucky. 2?

Yeah, I pray before I fuck. Goddamn, that shit y'all don't do it to me. And then I get on in there.

So you don't use condoms, huh? Hell yeah. Okay, that's scary. You got to, especially in this day and age.

Me personally, I always been fucking the same females. I might fuck a bit. If I start fucking a bit today, I probably fuck her like 20, 20-some. Shit be like that.

What if you guys get into a fight?

I mean, it is what it is. That don't mean she ain't gonna start, you know, that don't mean she ain't gonna give me no more pussy. We got to fight all the time. Sometimes that fuel the fire.

Toxic. So you spin the block?

You like toxic shit.

I see how you look.

You toxic.

I like some toxic shit.

This shit fun. If it ain't toxic, it boring.

Yeah, it's like, it's like I need to work on myself, so let me do some, some shit that's going to like make me work on me. I like to go to therapy sometimes.

Oh, I ain't fuck with therapy.

Why not?

Ain't no point. I just talk to my mom about shit.

And how's that going to help?

Who know you better than your mom?

Yeah, but that's not the point because my momma not judgmental.

She going to tell you right or wrong. I'm not gonna pay nobody to tell me how the fuck I'm supposed to feel. I can't do no shit.

But that's not, that's not why you go to therapy.

That's why you go to therapy. You literally paying somebody.

They can't tell you right or wrong. Ain't no way.

Therapists, you literally paying somebody so that they can goddamn sit back and give you a free judgmental response.

That's not true. You, that's when you don't pay for. That's not good therapy. You don't do that.

They just, you just pass them out to hold your secret.

You talk about things and they make you think about—

I really talk to my mom. She gonna keep it real with me. She gonna tell me what's right and she gonna tell me what's wrong. If I talk to my mom, I'm gonna call my pops. Most of the time I call my pops before my mom, because my pops a man. He understand me. My mama just gonna tell me like— I must call my mom when I wanna know shit about female. Like, why the hell they be acting stupid like this? And she tell you what.

I don't know if it's working.

I talk to God about my problems.

Really? What does he— what's his response?

He just show you. As long as you got God, you're good. See, people be lying to God and shit. They be praying to him, dear Heavenly Father God, I'm a saint from the earth and I'm trying my best. I be telling real shit. God, I done fucked up again, but I done nothing in this bit, man. I had a baby on the way. Hey, I gotta do this, plug, fuck up and shit. God, if the streets ain't for me, let me know. I be saying real shit to God. I don't know what everybody else be doing. You know, they got everybody think they got to get down and pray and do their hands like this. You know what people think? What if God just somebody you just got to manifest, talk, talk out loud about this shit?

That's all you got to do with the therapist too.

Nah, hell nah, man. Therapist get paid to goddamn know my business. What the fuck I'm tell you my business for?

I don't know.

I like—

'Cause sometimes, like, you know, especially when you have girlfriends, like girlfriends They're just, they're just not it. Like, I can't say nothing. Oh, you're so rude. I'm like, shut the fuck up. I'm just, I'm just me. It is what it is.

Oh no.

And then they, and then if you, if you have one fight with somebody that you're talking to, oh, that's it. Fuck him. Don't talk to him. Like, bitch, what? I'm gonna talk to him.

Never get involved with dick and pussy relationships. Never get involved in people's relationships.

I don't. I stay the fuck out of that. I don't care.

Then I learned you can't even ask nobody shit.

No, because I don't know.

I'm not even gonna ask you about no relationship. Hey, this nigga ain't got no bitch. This bitch ain't got no nigga. What I'm asking you for?

That part. But not even that. It's just like, my shit is my shit. I ain't gonna— I can say some things I think or feel, but I'm still gonna make my own choices.

You got a nigga right now?

No, maybe, I don't know.

See, that's what I just said 20 minutes ago. I said females be doing exactly what she just did. You asked, do she got a nigga? What she said? No, no, maybe, maybe.

It's like, it's like, uh, just say you horn. Huh?

Just say you horn.

I'm horny?

Horn?

What's that, hoeing?

Yeah.

I'm not hoeing.

What you doing then? That was horn right now. Be real, bro. That was horn. You asked, do you got a nigga? She said no, baby. That's horn, right or wrong?

Well, but like, that means that if you are in a relationship relationship, you on. I don't, I don't know. There's no definition to it.

You be tricking.

You like me tricking?

I know you be tricking.

Fuck no.

You be tricking on your nigga though. Tell the truth. You'll buy niggas and shit.

I can, but not— no, no, it's got to be reciprocated.

You be tricking like I can tell.

What you— what do you think I do?

I don't know what I think you do. I know you're an eater. Okay, you definitely like an eater.

Okay, what makes you think that?

Lips.

Okay, the throat.

Throat.

What are you showing?

Well, I did long.

That's a lot.

Go crazy on him.

Don't mind it. I don't mind it. I enjoy that process. Yeah, it's a really good experience. Better swallow. You gotta ask him. I don't know.

I don't want to ask him.

Me neither. I don't— for, for the social media, I'm single.

For the social media. A nigga can't say that shit. Every bitch he talk to, it's like, you a fuck nigga. That shit funny as hell.

Yeah, for social media I'm single.

But you just said you, you confused, you contradicting yourself.

Yeah, that's why.

He was on the camera, you just said you might got a nigga, maybe. Now you're single. You're hoeing.

Just said, I, you know, I think until you marry, you're single, so fuck it.

You're hoeing.

I'm not hoeing, it's the same person.

You're hoing.

It's the same person. That's not a hoe.

You're hoing.

I like the man. You're hoing. I'm not hoing.

You're hoing shit.

No.

That's what everybody doing. Especially in Atlanta. If you in Atlanta, you hoing. I'm sorry.

But how do you know if it's in Atlanta or not?

Because you in Atlanta right now.

So, you know, I would soar sometimes.

Then you outside hoing. You stay here. You going there, you're hornin', and then you're outside hornin'.

What if they come here?

They hornin' with you.

So we just all hoes.

Everybody hoes.

That's fun.

Can we agree to that, man? Everybody hornin', bro. This just real life.

You hornin'? See, it's your what? I don't like how it sounds.

You're a player then. You're playing. You're a player.

Okay. Yeah, that sounds good.

Just horn, man.

But I do want to get married though.

Yeah, but I want to get married. Want to.

I'll invite you to our wedding.

I ain't coming.

Why not?

I'm a real nigga.

What does that mean?

I'm just ain't coming. I don't want to see two people lie to each other.

Damn, what makes— what if we're not lying?

I don't want to see that shit, man. Nigga be lying. I got a homeboy got married, I can't say his name. His shit funny as fuck at his wedding.

What happened?

He was like, baby, I swear you the only one, I'm gonna make sure we do this, do that, whatever, whatever. That nigga birthday came 2 months later, horn.

Maybe he meant for tonight, like he was like tonight. You're the only one.

I'm sorry. That's why when I get married, I'm gonna say my vows gonna be real as fuck.

I'm about to go and fuck a bitch.

Nah, I ain't gonna say no shit like that.

What you gonna say?

But my vows are gonna be real.

What is that gonna be?

You the one I chose over the rest of these hoes. Now that's just real though.

But you know what, it's real, bro. I actually— I'm not mad at that. I mean, yeah, because that's the truth.

You the one make me feel like home. Yeah, they just make me nut.

Yeah, and I'm not getting rid of them.

They get rid of— they're a one-time thing most of the time. Never gonna see them again, talk to them, block them. My phone, do not disturb. I got two phones. My flip phone on silent, keep this one, my favorite phone. Then my other phone, do not disturb. You can't call when you want to call me. I call when I want to call.

Who, who has that phone?

This phone right here, flip phone.

How do you— what the fuck? How did you come with that?

I had it for like 2 and a half years.

What do you do on that phone?

Yeah, that's the business phone. Like when I do shit like this, you know, go to the clubs.

Your messages were blue though, so I hope I was talking on another phone.

This is the, uh, This is the, uh, the iPhone is the global. That's the everybody. The flip phone more like the— I can't lose this one. I can lose that phone, I wouldn't give a fuck. I lose this phone, I might cry.

What kind of business do you do?

I'm a comedian.

Some funny business, huh? Yeah. Okay, okay. How do you write your jokes?

Tell the story. That's all it really be. Good memory. You just write down the premises. You better go back.

I tried. Moneybagg tried to make me write some comedy. I couldn't do it.

I suck at it.

I suck at it. It was so bad.

You suck at it.

See, I sucked at it. I was really bad at it.

You gotta get better. You like a good sucker.

I tried, I couldn't.

Tell them story about how you get with the China, you 14, you know, fuck was on that shit funny. Y'all make it funny.

Yeah, we're trying to write a story about people calling.

Sleep right now, she knocked the fuck out. How long she been up?

She's, uh, oh, she's been tired.

You be having her outside?

Yeah, I took her to 85 South.

Oh, so she was, uh, she had a good time.

She, you know what she said? She was like, she's never smoked weed before. She's like, man, I want to know how this feels. Like, now at least I want to try the side effects. Like, what was happening? She's never done it before, man.

Hit the weed, Mom. Oh God, hit the weed.

Yeah, she's tired.

I'll be trying to get my mom to smoke weed. Maybe she'll be chill.

That's what people tell me. I need to smoke, by the way.

I'll do it, make it a little wet.

What? How do you go there?

Everything make female freak out though. Don Julio bring out the real hoe shit.

It does, it does. I don't like Don Julio though, but you know what, when I used to drink tequila, I kind of learned that it's not tequila, it's just me.

So you was the hoe before the drink?

Had to be.

I fuck with it, that's real. She says real shit then. You gotta look in the camera and say that. She said— said we gotta tell them for that. You said it wasn't just the tequila, it was me.

It was just me.

So when girls be like, oh, I'm drunk, I'm drunk, I can't fuck— they lying out here.

Like, I mean, they just— I think they haven't tapped in into that side of—

but they lying though. It's really them. They just trying to blame it on—

it's really— it's in you. Where the fuck is it coming from? Ain't no way tequila doesn't have no magic sauce. That's the—

I don't know, I think Don Julio got some magic in it.

You think?

Hell yeah. True story. I know some church girls who I know ain't even like that. Like, what? But we had to go to the barbecue. They drunk a couple shots of done, that church shit was out the window.

What'd they do?

Everything. Kissing each other, all kind of shit.

Oh, they weren't there.

They was geeked up.

They were sinning.

I don't know.

That's considered a sin, what, to kiss a girl?

A girl kissing a girl? Yeah, I don't think it's a sin.

Is it not? I thought it was. No, that's crazy.

Hmm, because your mama kissed their daughters, right?

I don't know.

No, man, your momma never kiss you growing up? Kiss your forehead? Kiss on your cheek?

Not really.

None of that?

We're not really like affectionate people. I'm affectionate with men but not with my parents.

You say you Russian, right? Y'all be blowing shit up.

I don't, but they do. They do. They racist sometimes.

I'm saying, what I just said, they racist.

What?

When I say y'all be blowing shit up, they racist.

No. How's that racist?

I ask you.

That's not racist. Not towards Russians though. No, cuz it's like the true story. But they're— I mean, they can—

you—

when I was growing up, they were racist towards Asian people.

Oh.

So it was just always like a lot of jokes as kids, you know.

Oh, okay.

So we didn't really see— I mean, we didn't really grow up— there was not much diversity. You just see the same shit all over.

A bunch of tall-ass giant people.

No, people are not tall. I was like a giant to them.

You're a giant to me.

I knew you were gonna say that. I'm normal. You know, sometimes they're cool. I'm just— don't call me average, but I'm normal.

I don't think you're average.

I'm not average. I'm just, you know, I'm just my size. Good size. But in Russia, it was— it was not— I hated— people were calling me all types of shit, man. A giant. They called me, uh, one guy, he used to say that I look like a pear. I mean, they would call me fat, giraffe, all kinds of shit.

Giraffe. Mhm. You should have made some money off of that. That's a good stripper name for you.

Giraffe stripper name, man.

Nigga, come see Giraffe at Blue Flame Magic City, man.

Oh no, I can't dance. You like—

you don't know how to wiggle that shit, nothing. You got to get right. You in Atlanta, all you got to do is go to the club, they'll get you right. They show you how to do the Crucian dance. See, when I was growing up, the Crucian dance was the one. Girl do this shit and they grab both of they legs and shake their ass at the same time. This shit be on point.

Listen, Magic City girls is a whole different story.

Blue Flame girls are the best.

Really?

Magic City girls look better, I will say, but the Blue Flame girls ain't too far apart. They—

but Magic City can dance.

Blue Flame can dance, bro. Favorite strip club gotta be Blue Flame, right or wrong?

I don't know, Twin probably does. He doesn't strike me as a strip club guy, bro.

The Flame, be real, bro. Magic City or The Flame? The Flame.

I told you, you have not been to Magic City.

Magic City is the Atlanta landmark. Like Martin Luther King and all them used to go down and shit.

Damn.

But the Flame, that's where like niggas go. We love the Flame.

Is it cheaper?

Uh, not really. You, strip club, you gonna spend money regardless.

Yeah, but Magic is like, it's expensive to get in.

No, I walk right in the door.

Really? They were charging me.

What a dog.

But one time I remember we went to Magic City and I went with Tilt.

Now that shit was different. They were showing the video and shit, man. Them bitch different. These nigga ordering $20,000 ones, $10,000 ones, this, that, and the third. Bitch ain't the only one walking out with that bankroll.

Magic, man, you might be in that bit, nigga, through $60,000.

You, if you're a broke nigga or anybody and you come out with nothing, you was retarded. Bitch can't even sit there and find $60,000 on the ground. They tired of here kicking that money.

Mm-hmm. They spend a lot.

I went to the studio. I went to strip club, a couple rich motherfuckers though.

I only go to strip clubs with rich people. Like when I used to be outside, man, and I'm gonna make them spend the money. I don't like when they don't spend the money.

You need to die. They just want to, to the girls. The girls horn. They look for the tricks.

Yeah.

Sissy Red did. You like for the hoes?

You like her?

Cesarean? I love Cesarean.

That's her type.

What, that my type? One kind. I love hood bitches.

Really?

Yeah, they can hold you down. Don't talk to the police. I ain't on the police shit. Call them 12 and shit.

Oh, in that sense.

Yeah, hood bitch. Cesarean don't give me like gangster bitch. She give me hood bitch.

Hmm, I don't know.

Gangsta Bit was like, uh, shout out, used to be, uh, from Memphis. What her name? She passed. Gangsta Boo. Gangsta Bit. She was there really rapping, and she was rapping about like gangster shit, trap shit. Nigga brother done killed nigga. She seen some shit. Cesarean more like a house part of the hood bit. You know how you see the house part? Hey, hold me up, the ghetto bit. Little bit of booty. She don't give me out in the street doing gangster shit. She give me I was turning up in the hood. I'm for that. Let's get drunk, let's have a good time.

You know one song that I really liked? I don't know why it was the worst song ever. When it's Bae I Love You, that song where she— she can't sing for shit, but that song, that was a good song. That was one that I'm like, okay, yeah, that was good. Yeah, I mean, okay, I don't know. Never been.

You gotta listen to the real, like, back in— no, see, we ain't had this song when I was coming up. It was one particular song. They play that song, I'm good for what, bitch, where they at? They could be— goddamn, bitch, be at the airport, they going crazy. So let me say it was 3 songs. Okay, first thing for you had Kilo Ali. Mm-hmm. Goddamn, my fucking nasty dancer. When I was coming up That shit was going.

What's your opening song? Which one do you use? What, like whenever you come out on stage?

Oh, I go Bankroll Free.

You only have one song or you have more?

I go Bankroll Free, Trap. I might finish start going South Walker, Baby Mama Drama though.

7 kids.

Okay, I ain't got Baby Mama Drama, I just like the song.

You don't?

No, Baby Mama Drama. Oh, my baby momma. Doing their own thing.

So if they're mad at you, just like, ah, shut up, like, we're good.

Just let them say what they got to say and then just be like— I used to be mad, bitch, fuck you, hoe, die. But then like, I changed.

What made you change?

Because I started realizing that their problem ain't about my kid, they problem about that sacrifice I told you.

Mm, you tell them to die?

I don't say all kinds of shit. I told them get abortion before they had the kid. I done said everything.

That's horrible.

It ain't horrible. It was the truth at the time. Nobody understand.

There's some things you still have to filter. I hope you know that, right? Yeah, you do have to filter some things because it's still a sensitive conversation.

I don't know.

No, you don't know. I'm just telling you, you got to. I don't care where they from, it's still a woman.

I just think you be real too to them, they got an option. Either they with it or they ain't. Bitches like niggas that lie. I don't like to lie. I like to tell you what it is, because lying don't do nothing for you. Lying make bitches crazy. This bitch is delusional. She been believing everything you said for 5 years, and now all of a sudden she see the real. Now she like, oh, I'm gonna kill you. No, I really tell you the truth for 5 years, and you have an option to deal with it or not.

Fuck with it.

Yeah, I like that because I learned. I used to be a fuck nigga, man. I done did all the fuck nigga shit, the lame shit, the disrespectful shit though. I don't do all this shit. When you start being a real nigga, it's different. I ain't gonna say a real nigga, I'm gonna say solid. When you start being like, all right, all right, so I know what this is gonna get me, I'd rather do this because like if I do this, now I'm gonna have been pulling the hell out wearing all this dumb shit looking stupid. Gaining weight, she, she hate me, you feel me? Versus, it's your choice.

I like honest people.

It's your choice.

Yeah, cuz that way it's like, I know what I'm dealing with. It's just you tell me what it is.

Cuz a nigga, a nigga had you feeling like everything, piece of cream, for 10 years. The whole time he's a straight dog out this bitch.

Oh yeah, but that's like—

female can do the same thing. A female make you feel good as hell. You the only nigga I want. I love you. I cherish you. I'm gonna cater to you. And goddamn, she done catered to him, them, and them. So I really just, I don't know, I got tired of this shit. That heartbreak shit, that shit ain't nothing to play with.

Oh no, heartbreak is horrible. I don't ever want to feel that. Fuck that.

The only time you ready to kill. I think everybody in the heartbreak wanted to kill. I would kill you. Leave me the fuck alone.

No, I just wanted to cry. I did not want to kill.

No, I wanted to kill this.

I was like, I miss this man.

I ain't even going to lie, I love this bitch so much I wanted to kill this bitch. I got to leave you alone before I kill you, bitch. And vice versa though. I'm being real heartbreak, real deal, like I would kill your ass.

Nope.

I think that what it is. I think that what a heartbreak—

I'm not a violent person, so I don't want to hurt nobody.

I think a heartbreak in general—

mm-hmm.

That why I be, I be paying attention to what that shit called, snap. Them motherfuckers be together married 15, 20 years and shit. 6, 7 years, find out their wife cheat, find out her cheat, they kill they ass. You know, watch that show before, boy, that shit be for real. Y'all don't watch Snap before? That shit be for real.

I don't— shit.

Yeah, no, I ain't with—

it's too like violent for— I can't do things like that. It's enough bullshit going on. I can't, I can't. My brain got to be very—

but down here everybody tender. Yo ass would die about that dick. Or that pussy? No, she think I'm bullshitting, bro.

No, everybody Tinder.

No, everybody is Tinder.

Everybody's going to be—

if you, if you horn, you can't be Tinder.

That's why I got to be careful. I can't break nobody's heart. I don't want to die.

I don't know, long as the bitch don't break the bank account, I'm all right.

There you go.

I ain't worried about my heart. Shit, that shit ain't nothing. I heal myself. All I gotta do is leave motherfuckers alone. But shit, if I got down, lose everything again, fuck with a bitch, I'm killing that bitch. I ain't lying. I don't went through that shit. Niggas know what I'm talking about. Niggas just be like, everything, I'll create all kinds of shit.

Yeah, no, that's, that's, that's, that's real. Now you're fucking with my money.

I don't like that.

Don't fuck with my money. You can fuck with anything, but don't fuck with my— that's one thing I don't tolerate.

Why you can't lie to bitch? Bitches know. There's only two things you can get at a nigga to fuck him up: kids, pockets. That shit'll crush a nigga. Everything else, nigga, deal with that shit. Me, you gonna fuck that nigga, that nigga, all right, cool, bitch, go ahead. But boy, if a nigga can't get there, reach in their pocket and do like this, or can't call to get the kid, oh man, bitch, I'll kill you.

Don't look at me like that. Don't kill me.

Females like shit like that. They want to get killed.

No.

They be saying that shit on the ground. I want a nigga come kill that pussy.

No, I don't know what you'd be watching.

So you ain't never said that before? Kill that pussy?

No.

You never said that shit? Come kill that pussy?

Nope.

Come beat this shit down. Come break my back. Pound for pound.

Go crazy.

Digging in there.

Pound.

Tear it up. Bite me. Scratch me.

Choke me. Choke me.

You like a choker? You like to get choked?

Bite me.

Yeah. I'm with all this shit, I ain't gonna lie. Bite my shoulder, everything. Spin your mouth.

I had a little bite mark on my hand. Yeah, he took it literal, bit my hand. It was painful. All right, I have a little gift for you. I hope it fits. I don't know what's your size. A little gift.

Okay, okay. I just bought some shoes to go with this too.

Really?

Yeah, I just bought some Jordan.

I think it's going to fit you.

It ain't no crop top here. I ain't going to wear this shit.

It's not a crop top.

Yeah, if it was a crop top, I ain't going to wear it.

Why would I give you a crop top? What the fuck?

All these niggas style, crop top and bedazzle shit.

Oh no, no, no, we don't do that. We—

if it's a crop top, I just going to wear in the bedroom. I'mma dig out, walk in on the bitch.

I'm sure she would love that. Well, what's next for you? Tell us.

Shit, I shot a special. I'm gonna drop the special this year. I ain't got a date yet. I don't got a date yet. Uh, I'm going down to Waynesboro, Georgia for a show. It's the Fourth of July. Okay, what else? I mean, I've been collabing with a lot of people. Okay, I'm working, working on this security movie too. Um, they grinding. I don't really know, I don't know how to talk about what it is. I just really show.

You just show up, you'd get the work done.

Yeah, because I don't have ups and downs and shit with this shit forever. So it'd just be like, now I just, I learned it, just shut the fuck up and just do it. And whatever comes, you're gonna come. So we'll have this right here, and then by next week I'll be doing something else. I did I've been with 8to5 the last whole month, didn't even know it. Realized I done did 4 or 5 different projects with 8to5 in a month, but I was talking about how I want to work with them. So now I just be like, fuck it.

I mean, they're amazing. I want to work with them too. Well, we just did some stuff with them, so yeah. Hopefully we'll do like the actual—

I'm ready for that Department 2 to drop.

There you go.

I'm ready for that.

That'll be fun. I'm sure I'm excited to see that whenever that drops.

Yeah, we did the first one. We did pretty good. It was pretty good.

I gotta watch the first one. I never watched the first one.

It's on Tubi.

It is.

At first it was on a regular site. It was like independent and shit. And I think, I think they distribution, right, when they start putting on different platforms. So yeah, yeah, got it on Tubi. But I'm ready for number 2 because then I could drop my special, then I could drop the series that I shot. I shot a lot of shit, you know what I'm saying? I'd be hosting a lot of little parties and shit too. But like, that's what my whole thing, like, make sure you got that follow-up. Okay, boom, this is the big thing. Okay, now you got this, this, this, this, and this to come right behind it. So I got a lot of projects finishing shot.

That's why your business phone stays busy, huh? Yeah, you're a businessman.

Uh, I'm a hustler.

Yeah, you strategize. I mean, you know some shit.

You gotta make sure you got something to cover. It's like, if you in some— if you got something coming out, you gotta have 10 things behind it. True. And I've been working with everybody. Matter of fact, I was just with him on the other set. I did shit with Jack Funny and shit. Jack Funny and all them. We at East Point Jail.

Oh yeah, I think I saw that with Moneybagg. Yeah, yeah, I saw that.

I had a beard then. That shit crazy. I cut my beard off.

Well, you can grow it back.

Nah, ain't no point. Make you look 45-ish and shit. I ain't ready. It been went up 4, 5 days, like 600, some shit.

Well, hopefully this will do the same. I don't know.

I mean, he gonna cut it right. I think I see a lot of shit that can go viral, especially looking in the eye part, the choking, spinning them out and shit. That shit gonna go crazy.

Oh, I love a little spit in the mouth thing.

For real, you with this shit?

Oh man, I like some freaky shit. Listen, You look like it though.

You be holding niggas up in the L, you hear that shit? I don't know what I do some shit like that. Pick me up by my arms in the L, man, dick just swanking. But I love this bitch, oh my God. You probably gonna look crazy.

Not like that.

You never pick a nigga up though?

No, why would I?

I try some shit like that with you. I'm saying, get some head in the L, man, that shit'll be too fast. Be real, bro, that shit'll be be fine. I be holding on to the door and shit like, but this shit fine.

Oh my God, don't sexualize me like that.

Why not?

Because you're going to make people jealous.

What, niggas ain't thought about doing that type of shit with you? They tripping out. I be trying all kinds—

all my followers, they love me, you know, they get sensitive.

Garage and shit when I land sideways in the garage and shit, man. Going crazy, killing them motherfuckers.

Okay, okay. And this is where we're gonna end it, okay? Because you're gonna take— you're gonna take it far.

Trying to make you wet? No, I'm getting a little hot in here.

It is getting hot in here.

Cooking up.

You are cooking up, making me blush. I can't talk about my sexual endeavors.

Oh, I can't either. I got kids.

I don't have any.

They won't know my sister. I just call out the name, Kansas Kalani.

I got dignity, so you know.

You got kids?

No.

You ain't had none yet?

Nope.

Damn, you might have some little giant babies.

31. I don't want to have a baby daddy. I want to have a husband and have kids with my husband.

We in Atlanta, home of baby daddy land. You gonna be okay.

Who's gonna be my baby daddy?

You never know.

You wanna manifest for me? You would have some money.

Yeah, that's what I want. I want my next baby mama to be rich as fuck. I wonder if Oprah can still get pregnant. You think Oprah can still get pregnant? Yeah. Ah, she cheating and shit.

On that note, what, man?

Any nigga, Oprah can get pregnant right now, bro. You, you'll take your chance. You're a billionaire.

Listen, I don't blame you. I would if I was a man. Footage. All right, you guys, this was the episode. And like, share, comment, subscribe, and let us know what you think, because this, this man is going to take it far.

I'm scared. I like that she, she manifests. You said I'm gonna take it far.

Not with me. They're gonna be jealous. You can't—

everybody gotta get a little bit of the pie.

What the fuck? This is not the pie we're sharing.

You ain't sharing?

No. Oh my, I need a ring first.

You need a ring for the pie?

Yeah.

So every nigga that— I need a ring first.

I just say I want to get married, I want to have kids.

I don't believe in that shit no more, man. Fuck that marriage shit. Hoing is life.

And that's what we're gonna end.