Why Interracial Dating Triggers So Many People w JMO

It don't stop, Lesya.

It don't stop, and I love this life. I prayed for this life.

You did. You begged for this life.

I begged for this life. Literally, here I am.

You did. It is here. I'm proud of you.

All right.

Okay.

We're gonna go very, um, vanilla. No.

Are you going vanilla? What are you going?

Hell no, we're not doing—

We don't gotta go vanilla. My crowd is like— my crowd's a little vulgar, like BET After Dark type shit. They gonna go for it.

I was gonna say today's episode is not gonna be messy, dramatic, none of that. Talk Less, Do More. Okay guys, welcome back to Talk Less Show where conversations go a little bit deeper than the surface. And today, um, I wanted to sit across from somebody who I've known for quite some time in Atlanta. He's an Atlanta native. So, you know, I just want to talk a lot about love and, you know, relationships just because this is the season, you know, we're in the holiday season. So in the spirit, so let me read the intro. Today I'm going to sit down with someone who knows me from a chapter that shaped me. You may know him from Country Wayne viral skits, his work as an actor, his music. He's also a boxer, but we're not here for the titles. Cloud of highlights. We're here to talk about emotional maturity, chemistry versus peace, dating dynamics, and what it really looks like when you choose yourself.

There you go.

Beyond the content and the spotlight, he's someone who's experienced growth in real time, personally and professionally. So today we're stepping outside the highlight reel and having a real conversation. Welcome to Talk Less Show, Jordan, or J Mo. King J-Mo.

Thank y'all, man. King J-Mo in the building. Les, thank you for having me. I'm happy to be here. Proud of you.

Yeah, he keeps saying that, oh, you've been dreaming about this, you've been praying about this.

No, you have. I ain't gonna even lie, like, before, you know, it's dope to see people step into, uh, that new realm of life, you know, especially when they're around you, they're your friend, and you supporting them, and, you know, you see them go from like that space where they feel like they struggling to get to that new space and now the whole world's starting to know who you are. Like, that's dope.

Well, I like that.

Yeah.

Okay, well, before we get into this, uh, super nice conversation, I want to ask you this question. I just— listen, I've known this man for so long, so it's like, it's very comfortable. It's like, I feel like we're just, you know, on the phone talking.

Lay it on me.

Okay, everybody who comes on the show, they answer this one question. If there's one thing you can talk less about, what would it be?

What would I talk less about?

And maybe do more of?

I talk less about what I'm gonna do and I'm gonna just do more of it.

Okay. What is it? What are you gonna do?

Win. Talk less about winning and just win.

Just win.

Just win.

How do you win?

How you win? Okay. You prepare, you work hard and you execute. Execute. You don't talk about execution. You just do it. And then when it happens, everybody sees.

Can I be real to the audience right now?

I love that.

One of the main reasons why I called the show Talk Less, Do More is because of this person, cuz he talks so freaking much and we can swear on here. He talks a fuck ton and he does sometimes very little. But then I feel like last year has really pushed you to be more of doing things and talking less. And we didn't even speak for quite some time because I got so annoyed with him talking so much that I was like, I can't. And then we just reconnected like probably like what, in the summer this year?

That's 'cause you the only person that really be around me. Most folks don't even know me. A lot of people, they see me, they see this image online and they don't really know who I really am. You know what I'm saying? I chop it up with you, bounce ideas off every now and then. But other than that, a lot of people don't really get inside of my bubble. So the people that I really rock with and I talk to, you know, they kind of get that spill of like everything before it happens. But you know, the folks on the outside, they really don't know me. To them, I'm like, like some mythical creature, like code, or like they see the accolades and the things that I've done along, you know, over the past like 10 years. But, you know, the people that I really rock with, you know, I open my mouth a little bit and I talk to them, you know.

Sometimes a little too much.

Yeah.

Okay, well, talk to me. What season in your life are you in currently?

This season of my life, I'm in the me season.

Okay.

You know, I think the me season is I've done so much, like, to try to, like, help a lot of other people in my life and push them, be their cheerleader, encourage them, even when I knew I had my own stuff to do. And I think a lot of that time that I've spent spending on other people, I just spend it on myself right now. This, like, a season where I really gotta, like, show up for myself.

I love that.

Mm-hmm.

Why did you think, uh, why do you think you were putting a lot into others before and not yourself?

I think it's a thing like survivor's remorse. Like when you can make it and I made it, you know, in regards to my career, I made it a bunch of times where I've been on a high level or high scale and I made it to the top of the top in a bunch of arenas, whether it was track and field going to the Olympics in college, you know, football going to the NFL, music, now acting, you know, just every lane I've tried to like figure out and break down, you know, you know, the strategy to get to the top. And I think a lot of people, like, I've seen them struggle, like, to get where they want to be, and they got the talent, but they just don't know how to put it together, or they overthink. I've always been the type of person, like, I don't give a damn. Like, I'mma show up, I'mma pop in, I'mma do what I want to do. And like, what people got to say about it really don't matter to me, you know. They maybe tell me like, oh, you doing too much, or you doing too much. Like, no, you're not doing enough. You know what I mean? And it's just really where the pieces fall. I think you focus on being productive, you know, in all lanes. And, you know, wherever God really wants you to be and wherever open up, that's what open up, you know? And just don't overthink it.

Yeah, that's why you got to talk less and do more. Wait, you got to tell people that— do you still hold that record for high school, whatever that was, that the track and field record?

I don't. The Georgia high school track and field record was broken by my little brother.

What was it?

I think it was like— I think he went like 13:29 or something like that. It was crazy, I ain't going to lie. It was a record that was held for a long time. Shout out to Terrence Trammell. He was an Olympic great, uh, from Atlanta, from the east side where I'm from. Um, but yeah, I broke it, and then 4 years later my little brother came back and broke it again.

Shout out.

You're like actual blood, real Brother, shout out to him. He's so cold in the music right now, living in LA. But yeah, definitely, yeah, my little brother Matt, he came back and broke it.

That is insane, because I remember when I met you, you were like, yeah, I hold this high school record. I was like, wait, what? And there's a video of it, and I'm like, wait, you can run that fast?

No, seriously, that video, look, about 2 hurdles ahead. But you know, that's how we do. Thank God for the athletic ability, man. We put it down when it comes to the sports, man, for Real.

And you do have a crazy story though. I feel like you've gone through a lot of loss in your life.

Yeah, I think honestly, I think what most people don't see is when you go try certain things in life, especially at a high level, like you're going to fail. Like failure is the journey on the way to success. Like a lot of people are only successful like for a moment in their life, and that little moment in their life that they successful, that's what the people actually see. Like, oh, he had a hit record, oh, he had this, but they don't see the 5, 10, 20 years that you put in behind the scenes. And by the time they see you become successful, that's just a moment in time for them, you know. And if you hold that for, uh, so much amount of time, you know, then they be like, oh, he's the one of the greatest of all time. But they, they try to tear you down in the meantime. And I just think I just have tried so many things at a high level that I've been transparent and vulnerable enough to show people like I don't care if I fail in front of y'all. One day y'all gonna see me succeed. And when y'all see me succeed, you know, that's the end of the story right there. And that's who I really am. What you do last and not what you do in between or where you start at. So I think I'm a reflection of people that's actually trying to go hard and really do something in life.

So cute.

You know what I'm saying?

But you also blew all your money that you made in the NFL.

I did. I blew a lot of the money that I made in the NFL, but honestly, how did it happen?

So I just— this is such a bizarre thing to me because it's not like— it's not like it's $100,000. It's a lot of freaking money that you blew.

Nah, not really though, because I think a lot of people like, you know, me, I had a few different investments that were cool, but like, it's a difference when you making $100 million and as opposed to like $2-3 million, you know what I'm saying? Getting an NFL pension is cool, so I ain't blow all of it. And thankful to the NFL, man, showing love to hats off to the guys that retire and, you know, handle their business. But I ain't make a lot, a lot, you know, a lot of times when you, if you not first round, you not second round, you not gonna make $40, $50 million unless you like come up on a contract or do something different. And you know, I think a lot of people don't really calculate, you feel me? Like in the league you can go out and in one weekend spend $25,000. If you do that in 4 weekends, that's $100,000. If you got a million dollars, you gotta pay taxes on that and you might only really see $250,000 after you get done paying your agent, you paying your mama bills, car bills, all that stuff. And you know, everybody expects you to get 'em in the club or turn up. And me, I had other aspirations. Like my whole time in the league was spent like investing in this life that I'm living now to actually transition to, you know what I'm saying?

And you started making music while you were in the field?

I was making music while I was in the NFL.

And how was it? How do people look at you, like, especially your teammates? Because it's, you know, music is very feminine, and then you're playing a very masculine sport, and all of a sudden you're coming out with like this— the singles that you came out with, they're very like, like, I don't know, it's— Needed Me is the one.

It's sexy, it's sexy, it's sexy. You know, I played linebacker, I played safety, I played defense, so a lot of people expected you hard. You 6'3", you 230, 240, you knocking folks That's what she wants. She sees 5, but she sees 2 for real though. But, uh, anyway, man, when you knocking folks out or you come off with this hard image, especially Black men, like we supposed to be tough like all the time. And I think me, I come with a whole different vibe. Like I'm from the trenches, I'm from Atlanta, like for real, for real. And I think me, I wanted to rap and I'm good at rap, but a lot of the folks was like, man, bro, ain't nobody singing. My OGs was like, bro, you gotta go sing. And I was like, man, I don't wanna sing. And they were like, bro, you grew up in the church, you gotta go do this, bro, you gotta go sing. So once I started singing, it got a different vibe at first. At first, folks was like trying to laugh about it at first, and then the women started to gravitate to it. See, what a lot of folk don't understand is dudes not gonna pay for it. Only reason they gonna pay for it is because it's women there. And once I understood that, if I get a lot of women at the show, I get a lot of women to like my brand and what I'm doing, dude's gonna be there. Because if the finest women there, it's always a dude on her coattail trying to figure out where she at. So if she at the J-Mo show, then he gonna come too. And guess what he gonna have to do? Spend some money.

But he's not J-Mo though. They're not going for him, they're going for J-Mo, right?

They going— the girls going for J-Mo and the dudes going for the girls. So everybody at the— everybody at the show.

So how do you— how do you I guess, please all the women that show up to your show? Or you like put them on to other men?

Look, it's really like, you see, it's kind of like a little dating pool. Okay. The women come for me.

Yeah.

The men come for them. Everybody locked in. So look, J-Mo just, I sing my little song, doo doo doo doo doo, go to the backstage, everybody mingling, everybody happy at the end of the night. Somebody get cracked. Somebody get cracked.

Get a bump tonight.

Yeah.

Can you sing for me?

Can I sing? Yeah, let me see what I want to sing.

I like the Need Me, that's my favorite song.

Need Me, not really a singy song, it's more like a studio song.

Oh my God, you full of shit, just sing for me.

Okay, uh, sweet lady, would you be my sweet love for a lifetime? Oh my God, I'll be there When you need me, just call and receive me.

Yeah.

Oh, okay, enough.

What's the choice of song?

What's that choice of song? So that's Sweet Lady by Tyrese. I love Tyrese, man. I love that old R&B, man. Shout out to Wayne too, man. They know what I'm talking about.

That is— oh my God, that's—

did it make you blush? No. Did it make you mad?

Let's see.

Hey man, holla at me, man. Let's go, let's go! I might need to take my jacket off. Take your jacket off, that's what you do. Take the jacket off, baby.

Oh my God, I really wanted to talk about your story, but now I'm like, no, we need to get into—

yeah, they might need to bring a piano out here right now. Dim the lights just a little bit.

Shut up.

Dim the lights.

The piano. Oh my God, that's like my favorite sound, the piano.

Yeah, you like the piano?

I love the piano.

You look like more like a violin type.

I just went to Ludovico concert. Oh my God, Ludovico, Ludovico, he's like, uh, put me on. Oh my God, it's like, it's just musical instruments, that's what it is. It's like, um, symphony, and it was amazing. It was the best thing in the world. I literally cried there. I was like, wow, this is like profound. And they reposted my story too, it was amazing.

Did it hit you?

Like, oh my God, like literally it like touched my soul.

Oh my gosh.

I know.

Shout out to what's his name?

Ludovico. You didn't do that.

Shout out to Luda, man. Luda, shout out to Luda, man. Got her crying over here.

I— so, okay, you know, we can talk about your story, but you already told your story and people know you from the skits and they know you're, you know, as if you were locked up and all that stuff. So we, you know, there's— the thing went crazy and people were searching for you, right? And And then you keep posting those thirst traps on TikTok. I keep seeing that and I'm like, are they working? They are working because I saw the video. I was like, wait, hold up, who's that? And I'm like, oh my God, come on now.

All right, dang, you ain't gonna give me my credit?

No, I did. So what I did, um, I saw there's a lot of comments in there and the first thing that I said, I said, do you date white women?

We're gonna come back to you after this, uh, program. They trying to get me though. Honestly, I've been asked that question a lot, you know, being an athlete, being an entertainer. And me personally, growing up in Atlanta, I'll say this, like, I really wasn't attracted to white women until I went to college. Like, being in Atlanta, growing up in Atlanta, I saw nothing but like the top, the most beautiful black women ever. So my attraction to white women probably didn't come until I went to college. Do I date white women? I don't discriminate against no race of woman. If you beautiful, you beautiful. You know what I mean? If you got a good personality, that's cool. I think we moving into 2026. It's so many interracial couples and things like that. You know me, I don't discriminate against no race of woman. If you beautiful, cool. Now the thing is this though, you gotta be able to come to the cookout. I see a lot of y'all black dudes out here. Y'all be going to go get the white girl. They can't come to the cookout. Now she can't come to the cookout. She don't know the lingo. She can't play spades. Don't bring it through the door. You know what I'm saying?

Somebody tried to disrespect me, say that I don't know how to play spades. And I'm like, yo, what in the world? Like, why do you, you know?

That's the only thing. If white girl can't come to the, uh, uh, uh, 'cause I don't discriminate against— now there's some white girls, they come, they pull up to the cookout, you be— Unc be looking at you over your shoulder. He be like, look, now your auntie gonna say something, but I ain't mad at you. You know what I'm saying? She that cold and he gonna, he gonna vibe with it now. But it's some, it be like your grandma, Goddamn, you just gonna embarrass the whole family. You could have went over there and got Keisha, and you over here, them brought Jolie in here and she don't look like nothing. So if you do bring a white girl to the function, she gotta be so cold that the Black women, they just like, you know what, I can't even get mad at you for bringing her in here.

So because she's cool?

No, because she fine as hell and then she cool. She got to pass the eye test first for everybody. Oh, everybody.

Why do you think it triggers so many people, this whole—

and she got the— and she got to come with that bag too.

Now that—

come on.

What bag? What bag?

The one at the end of the rainbow. The one at the end of the rainbow. All right, but yeah, everybody on limits as long as you got the personality, you pass the vibe test. But I got you, I'm with you.

But why do you think it triggers so many people, this whole interracial dating thing?

I think it's a control thing, and we got a— it's a lot of systematic oppression that still happens. Against Black people, against people of color, against minority people that, you know, a lot of people don't talk about, you know, just because of things that's going on with the presidency and stuff like that. When in actuality, we one country, we trying to, trying, you know what I'm saying, to fight for one cause and be the best of the best, you know. I don't think that people should look at interracial relationships as a bad thing, you know. I think it's intermingling generational wealth in a sense, right? You know what I'm saying? In some instances. But at the same time, it's like you choose what you like. I think people got to stop putting so much emphasis on, oh, you this color, or she that color, is that color. Like, if you like that girl because she's white, like her because, because you like her. Don't like her just because it's a, it's a level of deviance against the Black community or Black women because you, you was ugly or you were lame when you was young and the Black girls ain't like you when you were young. Now you got older, you got a vengeance against it because you're getting money. Like, yeah, do it because that's what you really, really like, not out of deviance, you know what I'm saying? So that's how I look at it. But I think, you know, it's some, it's some cool white girls out here. But, you know, shout out to the sisters, shout out to everybody. For real, if you cool, you cool.

Look at you, international star.

Come on, baby. Uh, uh, which one should I wink? The white or the left?

Okay, but do you think that Black women and white women are held to a different standard in dating?

In what retrospect? From, from what perspective?

Like in dating, you know, are they held to different standards or no?

I, I think you, you got to go a little bit deeper. We got to go a little bit deeper. To what standard? Like in what demographic of men?

Well, we're talking about Black man.

Okay. All right. Boom.

Now we're international right now. International.

Don't get me shot up here. They look, you gotta shoot the shot, right?

No, no, no. We're talking about Black man.

Okay. With Black one, man. Um, like I said, it's about demographics. If you in Atlanta, like you not really gonna see a lot of white women. You are like a rarity. That's why I'm proud of you. Like, because it's, I, I never really seen no white woman come in Atlanta and really move. Like that, you know, business-wise, and everybody like you. That's rare. So I think if a, if a, if a guy brings a, a woman of a different race into Atlanta, she has to be so bad and so cold to the point where she's accepted, or she come with a level of status. That's that. I think if you get outside of Atlanta— and Atlanta, it's not really prevalent— now you get outside of Atlanta, I think in different arenas, like in different arenas of life. Yeah, maybe. Um, I think there is, may, can be a different standard. I think emotionally, uh, and it may not just be a Black thing. I think it's just every race. Like if you date somebody of your race, like you expecting them to get it fast, you expecting them to like understand the culture, everything. Like, you know, and in the Black community, it's like, look, you know the standard of dating, you know, don't do this, don't do that. Okay.

Okay. Well, what's the standard of dating in Black community?

I think it's just like understanding a lot of Black families, we want conventional relationships. Like we come up one, one dad, one mom. Well, we've been trying to get back to that for a long time. And I think a lot of things, systematic oppression decisions, you know, deviance, a lot of things has taken that, taken the Black community away from that. When other cultures, they have stuck together and they have found a way to like actually like make it work. You know, I think us as a Black community, we're starting to get back to that, you know, um, and the love is actually starting to be spread because we understanding that money is not gonna just raise your family. It will provide for your family, but the morals and the things that you teach to your kids, that's what's gonna take your family to another level and another lineage. You know, going to college, I saw a lot of my white friends and, and, you know, my, my friends from other races, they got married at 25, 26 when the, the, the Black guy. We was just figuring out, we're like, man, I just got this money, but I'm about to get married tomorrow. I look like getting married tomorrow, man.

But my question is, you know, I've seen a lot of, you know, I went to a very white school in California and I've seen a lot of them get engaged, get married. My question always been like, do you guys even know each other? Are you even happy? Because it's like, it sounds like society tells you that you need to get married at 25, so y'all getting married at 25 and then you get divorced by 35 because you hate each other.

But they understand the blueprint and wealth is still spread, right? By the time the white families or families from other races get divorced, they've already accumulated a house, either two houses, life insurance policies. The kids have went to schools, they've done the work. So if they divorce at 35, 36, 37, you know, she get half, his company's built all the way up. He don't give a damn. He gonna make $5 million a year whether she's there or not. She take her money, she goes on. The kids are still taken care of. The family may seem like a broken home, but they're going to find a way to play and move accordingly to where the finances and the things of the family are taken care of. You know, I go to a funeral in the black community for real, for real. Like I done had a lot of cousins die, you know what I'm saying? Like they ain't have no life insurance policy. They got killed or they went to jail, went to prison. And they ain't have no money to get back to their family. So they were hustlers or did all of this, you know what I'm saying? They did all this shit their whole life. They was hustlers, you know what I'm saying? Going to go get it. But when it came time for them to die, they ain't have nothing to give back. So they provided all that money. They provided for the family, paying bills and stuff like that. They could have put it into their life insurance policy and went back to the family. See, that's what white people do, but they solidify that first before anything. And then you see them live they swinger lives. They, chilling, they vibing, they handling their business. But you know what I'm saying? But they living for them because they put, they find a way to sow a seed and put back into their community, you know? And I think us, we're getting back to that point. Now we have our select group of people that emerge and then they become the 1 to 5%, but the other percentage can sometimes become, they don't, they don't have a, they have a lack of understanding about that lifestyle. So it can deter them. So it's two totally separate different lives. So I think that's what really goes on. I think we are actually trying to chase the structure, getting back to chasing the structure of what community really is, like Tulsa in the '60s, you know, things like that, real communities, real businesses, instead of being bought into what they sell us of what the public feeds us of public enemy number one, which is, you know, TV.

Yeah.

You put it on TV, they gonna do that.

Yeah, and I feel like it's, it's, it's still a separation between, you know, oh, white folks are doing that, we're not going to do that because we don't want to be like white folks because now, you know, we just got out of this whole system. So now, but like, I've never thought about it the way that you're explaining it, systematic, you know, that like they figured out the blueprint because it does make sense.

Yeah, it do make it, it makes total sense. Yeah, because once you, as long as you secure the bag, so if, if two of your parents die and both of them die and they got $3 million policies, that's $6 million untaxed plus a house and land going back. So it don't matter if y'all fight, whatever, everybody getting $500,000, $600,000 apiece. If y'all got 2, 3, 4, 5 kids, you know what I mean? Everybody getting paid. So the struggle that we go through when we cry after a funeral, we tore up. You know why? I gotta bury cuz for $15,000, $20,000, but I still got bills due at the top of the month. And if he died the middle of the month, we gotta wait 2, 3 weeks to bury this nigga.

Damn, damn.

I mean, wow, it's a different life, you know what I'm saying?

So how do you— I guess like, how do you make a change? Because I know a lot of people were— they came after me after Charleston White episode. They said, who are you to even speak on that? Because you know, you, you have no rights to speak on that.

You've—

you, you're not from this country, you're white, you're this, you're that. And I'm like, well, at least I'm having conversations. What are y'all doing?

Well, I'm gonna give you a credit. You feel me? Because they can vouch for me from the corporate world to the streets. So I'm gonna give you your credit. You take the time to try to understand the Black community. You take the time to try to— and you ain't faking it because, you know, we're gonna keep it straight and we're gonna keep it real with you. Like, this ain't that, but you really try to understand. And I think that's the biggest thing. A lot of people, like, if you're not in, you don't want to understand, or you're just like, there's too much going on for me to understand. You know, like it's too different from the world that I come from. But you have actually taken, taken the steps to actually try to understand Black men, Black women. And that's why everybody rock with you and everybody accept you, you know.

Well, I think that's the only way you can actually live life because it's like, how do you— to me, it's bizarre, but I'm that person in anything. Like when it came down to a podcast, let me figure out how it's done because I didn't know. I had no clue how it's done. I had no idea what goes beyond the closed doors, you know, going into corporate. I had to figure out how it's done. So it's the same thing. Like, if I'm surrounded by those amazing people, why would I not figure out, you know, I want to know, what do you feel? You know, how does it make you feel? Not that I might not experience the same experiences as you do. I have my experiences, but at the end of the day, we're all people. So you have something, I have something, and we can come together and we can have a conversation and we can build the most amazing community. And I think that's how we can make progress and change what's happening. And I think that's the end goal of everything.

Less for president. You know, if the whole world, I swear, if the whole world thought like that, seriously, we would be in a totally different place. Like the debt that America is in, there would be more millionaires and billionaires, you know, and there would be more progression. There would be smarter kids, there would be bigger colleges, you know, there would be more degrees in the community and there wouldn't be, you know, as much poverty that's going on. But it's just about a decision. But you know, when there's power in the way and One person wants more power to suit the ego. The ego is edging God out. And I think once you do that and you're able to have the ability to play God, sometimes it gives people an adrenaline rush, you know, to control a certain people, a certain demographic. And it's like, it comes to a point in time where that time is up. And I think that time is now. And that's like why these conversations are meant to be had because, you know, the time of oppression of people is up and everybody has to, um, get on one accord and move this world into the space that it's supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah.

How did you grow up? Were your parents together? Did they have money? Were they together?

Yeah, they had— it was on and off. I came from like, like a middle-class family. My parents had money. My dad was a pastor. It was cool when the church was doing amazing. We was cool when my mom's job was smooth. We was cool, you know. I went through some struggle times too as well when money wasn't the greatest, and I think everybody did. What that was around like 2008, 2009. Like, yeah, I went through all different sides, but I had great parents though. My parents, my dad, my mom, they made sure that every opportunity was afforded to me. Now what I did with that opportunity, I knew it wasn't a lot of money going behind that opportunity. So when you make it happen, you gotta go hard. And I was very talented enough to create opportunities that all it was like, look, I'mma, I'm gonna be the best at this. Just drive me there, take me there. Like, it was like I was a grown man as a kid because I really knew what I wanted to do as a kid. And it wasn't just football. I wanted to like change the world. Like, football was just a vehicle, and I knew that as a kid. So I just used it to really get to the level that I really wanted to be in life and gain access, you know. So, but my parents, they were lit. My mama, my daddy, man, they made sure— I remember being 7, 8, 9 years old playing football. North Henry Tigers, man, shout out to y'all. I remember playing football and my parents on the sideline every game, every day, supportive, you know. And I wish that for a lot of kids in the world, you know, that they could actually have that. Because when I do a lot of things community service-wise, I see a lot of kids, they say, man, I wish I had a big brother like you. I wish I had a male figure in my life. So The biggest thing that they could offer me, if they never did nothing for me, they supported me.

That's amazing. I never had my parents show up to none of my tennis matches.

For real?

Never.

That's how it was in the NFL for me. But like, uh, but it's different, you know.

NFL is, you're kind of already an adult, like you're almost developed, you know. Like you were like what, 19, 20, 21, whatever it was.

Yeah.

I was, you know, a kid who was like 6, 7 years old, 8, till like 14, and I've never had my mom show up to to none of my matches. My dad, nothing, like never. It was the craziest thing. But I don't know, like, I didn't want my dad to be there because he was just too opinionated. And I'm like, dude, like, shut up, you're not the one playing, so just relax. And my mom was always busy, so it's like— but it really made me feel some type of way. Like, it really made me feel like, damn, like, do you guys not care?

Do you still hold that like a level of like— I wouldn't say resentment, but like a level of like pain from that? Time in your life that makes you like, or fuels you to like do what you do now?

Um, I think what it did do to me is I hate confusion. Like, I need structure in my life because I'm very anxious. So if I don't have structure, it pisses me off because I'm like, I'm going to deal with this just because I didn't know if my mom was going to show up or not. And so I kind of like trained myself, okay, they're not showing up, they're not going to come. But at the same time, like, if they were to show up, I would be more nervous. Right, because it's like, damn, now your parents are watching, now you better perform. And if you don't perform well, then that's, you know, you're never coming again. They're never coming again. It's a whole thing like that goes, you know, in your head. And then my mom, she was always like— I talked to her every day about this. I'm like, do you remember how you used to make me wait outside of this goddamn tennis courts for 3 hours for you to come and pick me up? And you would always tell me 5 minutes, 5 minutes, 5 minutes. So I can't stand this. Like, you do this shit too. I'm 5 minutes away. I'm 5 minutes away. No, you're not. You're 3 hours away.

Babe, I'm Black. I'll tell you 5 minutes. Babe, I'm 30 minutes away. Babe, I'm 30.

What?

I'm listening.

But it's the same thing. Like, my mom would always— she'd be like, I'm 5 minutes away. She'd be like, you know, on the other side of the city, like somewhere far as hell. She would always just— to this day, I remind her. I was like, I remember this gigantic tennis racket that I would sit under. And it was this like concrete stone that I would sit on top of and just wait for my mom. Like, I'd be the only kid waiting for my mom, and then she would not let me go walk home because, like, I could have walked home and she'd be like, no, you're gonna wait for me. And I was like, what the hell? And she, she denies it, she refuses. But, you know, we talk, like, because I've gone through years of therapy, so. But it's, it's really like the structure part for me. I'm like, if you're not gonna do it, just freaking tell me you're not gonna do it.

What do you think that you're gonna do different, like, when you have a child? Like, as opposed to when your parents— because everybody always say, man, I ain't gonna never do what my parents did to me. And then when you get the opportunity, sometimes you're 2 times worse than the parent that was to you.

Well, but I'm extremely communicative. I would always, you know, I don't want to lie to my kids about the fact— I'd be like, yes, baby, I'm 25 minutes away and you gotta wait. It is what it is. But at least now they know there's 25 minutes, and I can give them the progress, you know. Hey, like, or share— now we can share the Google Maps, you know.

You don't think your mom was like trying to like, I guess like help you cope? Because somebody tell you 30 minutes on the phone, you like, damn, like 30 minutes?

No, my mom, well, I don't know what my mom was doing, but my mom was very much like, she's very, I guess that's why I say Russians and Black are so similar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the cultural values, because it's like, I can't talk back to her. Whatever she says, I gotta listen and I can't argue with her.

Right, y'all strict too. Y'all strict too.

Yeah, like what if I'm gonna say, oh, What are you— now I can tell her, you know what, you made me feel some type of way because now like therapy is accepted thing. So now we can talk like that. Back in the day, if I said that, she'd slap me. She should— I, you know, the fear of me not being picked up ever again by her was bigger than the fear of waiting for 30 minutes. You know, I think I had to rationalize the fear.

I'm gonna be quiet so I will not not get picked up.

Well, yeah, because it's like you never know. Like when me and my mom would get into an argument, she would stop talking to me. Me for like 2 days. We'd live in the same— we had a tiny little one-bedroom. She just stopped talking.

That's abuse. But you know, everybody— no, not in a bad way. Listen, everybody go through their own abuse, you know what I'm saying? Y'all might get the silent treatment, we might get our ass whooped coming from church with a switch off the branch. You know, everybody gonna go through their own situation. But I think it's, um, the new era of kids and the new era of people, it's about the high-level communication. Right. I had an uncle, shout out to him, uh, Uncle Emmett. You know, when I was a kid, I used to mow the lawn at his crib, stuff like that. He was a chief of police in Jacksonville, Florida, in Duval County, one of the worst counties. So he was like a drill sergeant with me. But, you know, he never— I probably got a few whoopings, but they stung so goddamn bad, like, I never did that again, you know. But the level of communication that he had with me of explaining and telling me, hey, this is what you need to do to be better, is what I took from it. And it allowed me to take constructive criticism from people without feeling like somebody was gonna like put their hands on me or do different things like that. And I think sometimes, you know, and some of these kids do need their ass whooped. They do need a whooping.

Oh, I for sure agree.

It would, it would be less YNs with ski masks on if they took that belt off. I ain't gonna lie.

What I see, because, you know, I, I also do go into high schools. I do go, you know, I work with— sometimes when I'm on tennis court, I see kids, and I'm, I'm not going to be nice to you. Like today, I was, um, I went to, to The Loft, to the gym, right? And I was stretching out because, like, I'm just right now I'm recovering from this car accident, but I'm stretching out and I see this kid who is like, um, I think he has the, um, the one, one that they can walk. It's like the— he's basically like paralyzed, right? He's trying to walk. And this kid is actually doing the Olympics, like the Paralympics, but the ones that are in Atlanta. Kid can barely walk, like I'm telling you, like he's doing the Olympics. He's doing the Olympics. He's going— but, but like, no, but he's like the Paralympics, you know, like for disabled people. That's the one that he's doing. But he is like— the dedication that he had to walk. So like my, my trainer had him on his arms and he was helping him to walk.

But like, I'm sorry, what?

But like, he's a disabled kid, so he can't walk. He has like, he has a, um, he has a— what is it? The, the par—

it's basically like he's a paralegal.

No, par—

when— I'm not paralegal, I'm sorry.

Um, when your legs don't move—

paraplegic.

Yes. So basically he can't move his legs.

Why did I say paralegal?

But he's, he's trying, so he's really trying. And the dedication that we've— I was like, man, I'm I literally, I walked up to him, I was like, how old are you? He's 24 years old. He's still trying to walk, you know, he's, he doesn't know how to walk, but he's learning. Honestly, when I saw him today, I was like, wow, I am like, it really touches you when you see people who are disabled and who are really pushing so hard. They don't give a shit about what's going on outside.

They don't. They be going for it for sure.

And they be going. And like, I was standing next to this grown-ass man that's like trying to work out, and he's just bullshitting. And I'm like, I literally, I turned around, I was like, look at him. Look at this kid.

What was he doing?

He was like, he was like taking breaks between his sets and shit.

I'm saying, what was the kid doing?

The kid was, the kid was trying to walk and then there and back. And so like, um, he's doing the bench press, so he's like trying to like figure out how to, you know, the motion, everything. Because it's hard when, you know, when, when you're disabled, it's a whole different conversation. But if we're talking about YNs, how many of them are actually going to go to the gym, actually going to have discipline, have dedication to do something? Majority of them, no, because they don't need to. Life is like— I feel like it's— I don't know if it's a lot of trauma or deflection of what that is, because it's a lot of like, I don't care about what's going on, you know, like, I'ma just— and it's like a lot of times they feel like they have their path written out for them, which is— that's not true. You're the one that's in control of your destiny, whether it's good or bad, and you're the one that's going to make those choices. So it's up to you to figure it out. And that's why I think a lot of kids do need whooping, because like, what the fuck are we doing?

They need whoopings and they just need understanding the world moving so fast right now. They really just need somebody they respect, you know what I'm saying, to push them forward in what they doing. But, you know, shout out to the YNs, man. They making the world go round right now.

What's a YN? Like, how old is a YN?

A YN?

Where did it come from? What's a YN?

Young nephew. Young Nicaragua.

Say the word, it's fine.

Young nigga. But nah, man, YN came about, I think, in the past, like, 2, 3 years when they started robbing cars. YN came from Atlanta. Kind of, you know, they started going crazy in the city, man. Had them ski masks on, man. But shout out to them. A lot of them are really— they really good kids. And a lot of the stuff like that they trying to like figure out, it's really just through hurt. A lot of them just be hurt.

They are.

Yeah. I say when I, um, when I was locked up with a few of them, you know, for the little time, a little few days I was in there, I got a check.

Huh? You were locked up for a few days?

Yeah, for a couple days. Little small stuff, but being around the young dudes, you know what I'm saying? I got a chance to see that a lot of them, man, I asked them, I was like, man, when the last time y'all told y'all self y'all love y'all self? A lot of them, they just start crying. I'm like, but y'all face tatted, everything, everybody gangsta. And I asked them like, when the last time y'all said y'all love y'all self? They was like, man, I ain't never did that. They came to me. The next time we got out, got to get on the phones and they were like, man, like, I appreciate you, bro. Your whole vibe was different. I ain't never had no big brother. Like, I had to do this my whole life myself, bro. My, my mama, my daddy, nobody. I feel like nobody care about me, bro. So I kind of just had to like do what I had to do to get where I'm going. You know, one, for attention, for somebody to notice me. I felt like if I did something bad or I, or I played ball and did something good, people will recognize me. So a lot of these young, young dudes, young niggas, man, they just really want recognition. They want to feel real love. That's it. They never felt what love really is. They think love is like gifts, or your daddy drop off J's, or you know what I'm saying, or just little stuff. Like, love is like somebody waiting on you outside of school, you know, 20, 30 minutes, you know, you getting out late, or 'Hey man, did you eat tonight?' A lot of kids gotta go find their own food every single day, or, or clothes, you know. 'Did you wear a new pair of clothes?' I remember as a kid in school, you know, I used to just give him my clothes, you know, on the side and never say nothing because I knew I was always gonna get fresh clothes, it didn't matter what it was. But he came to school and he wore the same thing all the time, and the only way I noticed it was because of the odor, just a little bit. I was like, 'Hey bro,' like These folks making fun of you, like, you need some clothes or something like that. And I would give them my clothes, like, on the side. I would tell them, hey, just wait on me after school, I'm gonna give you some clothes. You know, that may have been the difference in the, in the school getting blown up or some crazy stuff. Just because folks want to feel like they love— like, love is free, you know? And a lot of people feel like you got to work for it to get it, but it's really free with just understanding and communication and showing somebody you actually care for them.

I feel like people, for people, love is a game now, especially when we talk relationships. I feel like it's now, it's all like, who does what, who, you know, if you— I feel like I overgive a lot. And so a lot of my friends, like my, my, my girlfriend today, she was like, Lesya, you're not a T-Mobile unlimited plan. Like, you can't be doing that much. Like, and I'm just like, but I don't know. I'm just a lover girl. Like, I am what I am. I don't know. Why do I need to play this stupid game for a man to like me back.

You got to be careful that you not loving people that's lusting for you. A lot of people don't know the difference between love and lust. They look very, very similar because they come with infatuation, they come with compliments, they come with gifts. But at the end of the day, the product is totally different because love is unconditional. Lust come with intentions. I got to get this in order to get this. You got to take me here in order for me to feel like this. And once you understand the difference between love and lust, then you can start to really weed people out. A lot of men, a lot of women, you know what I'm saying? A lot of women— men probably lust for you, women too, because you look good, you know what I'm saying? Like, but a lot of men lust for you, you know what I mean? But the ones that actually love you, they're going to take the time to understand how you really feel, you know, and really be patient with you. Even if you making mistakes, they're gonna be patient with you. Love comes with patience. Love comes with time. It don't come with stupidity. It come with boundaries too, because sometimes you can love somebody so much to the point you blind yourself, and then you, you, you bend and you sway from your boundaries. And then when you do that, they begin to lust more for the other side of you that they can control. So lust, control, all come from the lowest chakras. Sex, everything come from the lower chakras, like, but love comes from that heart. It comes from everything above. And I think once you understand the difference between the two, then we'll start to have very, very healthy relationships. Because this is like, shit, she don't really like me. She think I'm fine as hell. I'm her prototype. She wrote on her paper, he sees— he's 6'3", he's a big black guy, he got this, he got tattoos, all of that. I just want a piece of that. Right, but then when you understand my heart, or you gotta understand some days it's like, hey babe, like we can't go do that, or I need to go focus on this, will you be able to take the time and be patient enough with me in that time to not go to the club or go over here or seek the attention of somebody else in another realm, you know? Because the love we had should be able to surpass all of that, everything that we got going on. So it's just knowing the difference between love and lust.

What do you mean seek the attention of someone else?

Seek the attention of— I see a lot of people do this, right? If the attention of the person that you really like is not quenching the thirst of right now, they gotta go find the validation somewhere. We live in a validated society where if you ain't getting the likes, you ain't getting the follows, or you're not getting somebody constantly telling you that you're beautiful or you're this or you're that, reassuring what you feel about yourself or what the world feels about you to make you feel like you're in that hierarchy of life, You go find it somewhere else instead of being patient.

But how long do you need to be patient?

Depending on how much you like the person. I done seen people wait 3, 4 years, and I done seen people wait 3, 4 days. It depend on how much you feel like they worth it and the level of self-control you got for yourself. Because if you just, what they say, if you just giving it out, man, then that's just what it is.

But Yeah, but I feel like maybe it's just my observation. Maybe I'm just hurt. Maybe I'm just ignorant. Maybe I just want to blame somebody, but I feel like men don't have the level of emotional maturity to handle that or to understand that or to even like even compartmentalize their emotions.

Um, I think they do. I think A lot of the times, maybe the men that we see out in public, they don't portray that because they're chasing something different and they haven't had that time to really come to self and really do self-development. The guys that are in self-development are actually scared to be out in society, you know what I mean? Because they either learn their lesson or they done dealt with a woman and they just like, look, let me just get myself together, prepare myself for actually a really good woman out here that's really divine and ordained for me, you know. And I think a lot of the guys running the streets, you know what I'm saying, they're a bad representation of the guys that's actually sitting back and working on themselves. See, the guys sitting and working on themselves, them baddies in the club, they're not gonna see them because they know, bro, if I go to the club, I'm gonna spend $10,000 in this section, I'm gonna do all of this, and that's taking away from my life insurance policy or the, the real estate properties and things like that that I'm working on. I can take— I can sacrifice these 4 or 5 years, let them dudes be on the scene because they are seeming like the representation, but they're really, really not. They're just the interim coach, as I would say. They're the interim coach right now until the head coach comes back into play. And then when those guys emerge again and they come back out and they got these properties and things like that, then when they're 35, 36, 37, or they could be younger too as well, but I don't think it's no age limit. It's just about a man. Men, a lot of men right now are getting their shit together and they getting their stuff together. And the thing is, they not trying to be around a bunch of women because for real, it's so many beautiful women in the world. Once you see one, you're gonna see another one, and it can become a distraction to a man that's focused. You know, you having sex all the time, you losing semen, you losing energy, and you having sex with all of these women, and eventually you're gonna be back at the bottom all over again trying to start over. Because one thing about a woman, she don't want no man with no money. Now, if you ain't got no money, you can't handle the bills, and you ain't got to be the richest, but as long as you can handle the obligations on the table and make her— and, and really maintenance that soft space for a woman, she gonna vibe with you. But I think a lot of men, they like, look, I would rather work on This just in case, because women will do this. They'll be in a soft space and be like, I don't like that soft space. I need a new soft— that soft space over there got Louis and Chanel and it got all of that on it and come with a couple extra benefits. I might like that over there. And that's the society that we live in now. A real good woman will stay with you. But I mean, my mama always joke about this all the time. Whether you're a good man, a bad man, whatever, you got 2 to 3 months to get your money together or your ass is on Skid Row. And then a woman gonna start looking at you different. She gonna start, well, what you, what you about to do, you know?

And but I think that's, you're talking about, you know, that's, that's again, that's very Atlanta mentality of like, what you're gonna do for me, you know, having Chanel bags, having, you know, having all this, this glorious glamorous life, which at the end of the day, it doesn't mean shit if you don't have that person who actually cares and loves you, right? You can have Chanel bags, but you're gonna be miserable with a Chanel bag. Yeah. And then most likely that man is not gonna have time for you because, you know, he's buying you out, he's buying your emotions out. And what are you doing with your life?

He's buying your love.

He's buying your love. And that's what I'm saying. That's like, that's one thing. But I feel like if we're talking about men who are on that level of maturity and development, when they're, you know, even if they don't have the money, but they have the level of understanding that, hey, love, doesn't mean that, yeah, like, sure, you can pay the bills, but that's, again, if you're paying the bills, you're buying out the love, you know. Are you— what else are you guys doing together? Or is there growth? Are you, like, building something together? Are you coming together? Like, and that's just my view on, of love and relationships, because to me, it's, it's, it's, it's insane, especially if you talk to somebody, because, you know, I mostly talk to people who got money. Like, I don't really talk to people who— you know, my therapist, she was like, we, we want to make sure that the basics are covered, that he has a house and he has a job. And I was like, don't worry, honey, right? He, he got money, he got a job.

Like, it's not the problem. But money, money don't mean mindset though. And I think that's where the world is starting to like balance out now, right? There's a guy out here right now that's going to be a multi-millionaire, billionaire, right, in the next 10 years. He doesn't have all the money in the world probably right now for himself, but he has the mindset to keep going. Mm-hmm. There's a guy right now that probably went first round. They got $50 million, $100 million. He won't have that in the next 10, 15, 20 years. Hopefully, even prayerfully that he does, but his mindset isn't fixed, um, on growth. It's, it's a fixed mindset. Like, hey, this is what I got. I'mma have it. I, I need to do this. All I gotta do is show up and play.

Mm-hmm.

You know? And then there's a guy that's like, you know what? I gotta start this company from the ground up. I have to do this. He's currently being overlooked right now, right? Which he may come up with some type of like vengeance in his heart that he wants to get back at the world and at people. But in actuality, if you just look at the baseline, he's working on himself and he's actually doing the foundational things in a sense to get and sustain himself. So it's either you get it on the front end or you get it on the back end. But money, I don't think Money is a correlation of power, but money is not a correlation of emotional maturity because there are a lot of people that have a lot, a lot of money, but have a lot of deep, dark secrets emotionally that they can't get over, and they'll never ever be able to enjoy the money or be happy.

Oh, they have a lot of traumas too.

Yeah.

Do you ever confuse intensity for love?

In the past, yeah. You know, I think Because there's so many levels to love. It's, it's so many levels and it, it comes in so many shapes and forms that I think sometimes we can confuse the effort of the intensity that somebody really likes you because of the pursuit, right? Everybody kind of wants to be pursued and wants to be wanted. And I think in that want, sometimes you can be confused with the intentions because the intensity that's coming with somebody really liking you, it may look like I said, just like somebody that's really in love with you, but You got to realize, like, anything rushed, it may not be fully real. It may be a level of infatuation with you for that moment, because love is patient.

Love is patient. Love is kind.

And it'll take over your mind.

Relax, you're gonna— now every girl is gonna look at this and be like, oh my God, he's amazing, I want to be in love with him.

Now listen, I used to not be shit, but you know, I started praying a little bit. God saved me and I went through a couple things, you know, to get my mind right. And I really saw that in a lot of instances my ego was taking over a lot of relationships and situations that I was in just because, and it's like, it's like a woman, right? Right. Men and women are very similar, right? When men get money, they popping. And when a woman get her hair, her body stuff done, she get that cool job or she racking up, handling her business, She get that new car. You can't tell those two sexes shit. You can't tell them nothing. And until they go through something in life where they can keep that equilibrium of a personality, that's when they understand, you know what, I was tripping. So, you know, in the past, my bad, all the people, you know what I'm saying, if I messed up, I was tripping, but I'm a totally different person now.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Yeah.

So what was harder for you, to actually change your behavior or to walk away?

Oh, you cold. That was good. I think walking away is harder.

I know that about you.

Yeah, walking away is harder because when you're someone, you're a warrior and you, and you want to win, that warrior mentality inside of you always feels like you got one more fight in you, but that last fight could be the fight that kills you. And that's what people don't understand about the warrior. So understanding the warrior is understanding when it's time to kill and when it's time to play dead. And playing dead sometimes can save your life. So I think walking away was probably the hardest because I felt like I was losing so much because I felt like I created it. But in actuality, God be like, hey, step away real quick. You can't see what I'm seeing right now, but step away, the house gonna burn up. He on your earpiece and you like, nah, God, I promise you I got the kill right here. He like, please step away. If you stay in that house, that house gonna blow up. If you walk out that house and you listen to that gut feeling that's telling you to slide, you feel me, you might live to see another day. So I think once I started to understand like, hey bro, like this relationship or this situation, like take a step back, bro, to like save your life or save whatever else you got left. And then you'll be able to— you'll be able to do what you need to do, because if you can wake up, let us see another day, you can do it all over again. But if you die in the moment, it's all over.

Yeah, I feel like you're a person who, especially like in your relationships that I've witnessed throughout, you know, the time that I've known you, you're very much like— you, you're so scared to let go And I've talked to you about this so many times that like, why don't you just let go? Just let go, just let go.

And I think, I guess it explains that you like look at it as it's, you know, yeah, I'ma fight for you, I'ma fight, I'ma fight for your love. Like real talk, I'm, look, I'ma love you, I'ma fight for it. Because in my mind I'm looking at it like, what's the reason I got into this fight anyway? I have enough, uh, intestinal fortitude in my conscience and my maturity level is high enough then why would I even get in this situation and fight for this person in the first place? It got to be a reason I'm fighting for them, and everybody else may not see it, but I see it. And I think that's a great mentality to have. And I think a lot of people allow people to judge their relationships, and they miss out on something really, really good because people can't see. But sometimes you really got to listen, because once the people around you have a high level of discernment, sometimes you could be pussy whipped or digmatized. And that's what it is. And you may not be able to see from a bird's eye view that what you feel like is helping you is actually hurting you. It's just killing you slowly.

No, I think, yeah, it's a lot of times when it's like you really have to be shaken up. And it just, it sucks that you got to go to the points of, you know, being pushed to the limits because you really don't want to do that. Especially like knowing that now at this point of our lives, we want peace more than anything. We don't want to fight for nothing. I don't want to fight for my life. I don't want to fight for attention. I just want to exist and I just want to be loved and I want to love.

Yeah.

And it's, it's, it's very difficult when people are trying to put you in this position where it's like— and, and I feel like it's also, it's, it's energy in a, in a way where you know that the shit is bad for you. You know, you're like—

but that ego won't let you let it go cuz it's like, I got to win. When in actuality it's like a toxic relationship, you you'll win 2 days out of the 6, out of 5 days, right? But those 2 days, one, it's kind of good. The other day is like, man, I had the time of my life. That's that adrenaline rush. But them other 3, 4 days, you like, bro, I'm gonna end up either in jail or hell. Fuck around with this. Like, and I think a lot of people, it's like playing charades because it feels so good and the adrenaline level is so, so high. But when you come down, you can, you can lose everything because your feet not on the ground or you're not really worried about stuff. So, you know, I think everybody got to go through their little toxic relationship and understand because it's not a toxic relationship. What we're really looking at is shadow work. Whatever that person, their deficiencies or their downfalls or whatever, you seeing yourself in them. So you stay and you wait until you can deal with it. Now, the point that you're tired is when you finally learned your lesson and you looking at this person like, damn, like everything that's in you is in me and I really don't like that part of myself, so I really need to be done with this relationship. But until I figure out how to fix that part of myself, I'm going to stay with you because I feel like me seeing this mirror of myself, I can keep my hand on you and pinpoint what's going on, and it makes me feel like I'm in control. But in actuality, I've already lost control. I just need to be able to see the side of me that's so bad so they don't— it don't catch up with me.

I'm glad you realized that. I wish more men realized that, because I think it's the hardest part of relationships in general, to like hold that mirror and be like, oh shit.

Yeah, and you deflect, you deflect. It's your fault, you did a man— Shawna did all this, she did— no, bro. First off, as a man, you got to take the first step of being a man is really taking accountability in a relationship. Right? Ain't no woman gonna do what you don't allow her to do. Women like for a man to lead and actually be in control of situations, especially emotionally, because men really— we get emotional, but they say men don't get emotional. Men have a lot better level of emotional constraint, you know what I mean? Like, but I think women have a higher level of emotional maturity where we meet each other in the middle, that if I can gain the understanding of what you got you can just calm down just a little bit, we can meet in the middle. I think that's what it is.

Yeah. Do you think men confuse access to a woman with connection to her?

Oh yeah, I think from a narcissistic standpoint.

Why, why, why, why does it happen from a narcissistic standpoint?

Like, right, I'mma give you two sides: narcissistic and then just a regular mental of a man. The narcissistic, the narcissistic side says If I can buy you, I can break you. Mm-hmm. Feel me? If I can buy you, I can break you. If you gonna, if you gonna get on this fish hook and, and you swim with this money, I can break you.

Mm-hmm.

And a lot of women be like, cool, let's play the game. Let's see if you can break me. And he like, all right, bet. As long as that money keep running, her defense mechanism is gonna go down and he gonna break her. You get what I'm saying? Yeah. And she gonna enjoy all the rise of it because she gonna get all the perks and glitz and glamour. The only thing that she gonna have left is to deal with herself emotionally once the bags run out of everything and once he find a new toy. Because he will, he gonna find a new toy. Yeah, they make them every day. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Dr. Miami, Autumn Boy make them every day. Once he find a new toy, he move on. Now you left with the baggage and the scorn emotionally of a man that just was playing the game. But you played the game, but it just so happened that your emotions were invested in it because your love was able to be bought and it wasn't real. It wasn't genuine.

Yeah, it wasn't.

Because you ain't have enough time. Yeah. But on the other side of that, I think, um, you can go to the next question.

Why? What?

Restate the question one more time.

Do you think men confuse access to a woman with connection to her?

Right. Okay, so on the other side, regular men, like just no narcissistic, normal mindset.

I think you're normal.

I'm definitely not normal. I'm throwed off. I think that's why people love me, but I have multiple personalities, but I deal with all of them accordingly. You know, and we all coincide and rock with each other. See, that's the thing that's different between me and them. I understand myself. It's about 8 of us in here. Y'all cool out back there. I'm just playing. But anyway, um, I think when you have, or you can spend time with somebody, or you can maneuver somebody's schedule, at any moment it's going to feel like you have a level of control over them, or you're able to pull them, even if, you know what I'm saying, you have a level of maturity. Now that's when maturity comes into play, because it's like, okay, I got this person at this space where I can do whatever I want to do to them. They're vulnerable. This vulnerable space, I can either make them or break them. And the person that decides to make the person or help them get to where they're going, that shows the level of generosity inside of their heart. The one that breaks them shows that how they really feel about themselves. Like, if you really hate yourself deep down inside, or you ain't dealt with other stuff, instead of dealing with yourself, you're going to deflect it by putting pain on somebody else.

Oh, big time.

Yeah.

Why do you think attention is so easy to give but intention is not?

Attention is so easy to get.

It is easy to give attention, like you're saying, lust, right? But intention is not. And I feel like what we are seeing in the common culture, relationships are not intentional. It's very much like attention-wise.

I think people are buying time so they don't have to deal with themselves.

How much longer? How much time do we— don't have time.

But it's on you to really realize that. And I think once people realize that, sometimes it's too late, man. You just got to realize, like, you know, I, I took a moment, especially this year, where I just stopped dating completely. I was like, look, I'm cool. I'mma go to the boxing gym, I'mma go to the studio, I'mma handle my business, do this life insurance, handle the business, and be done with everything. If I need to do anything, if I need to act and all of that, All of that stuff, everything else outside of that is a plus. And taking the time for myself, because a lot of times with breakups and stuff— I went through a little breakup this year— you deal with trying to deal with yourself and then fill the void of filling it with other people. And a lot of times in my past, the younger version of me would fill the void with other people. I would be like, man, I lost myself, man, I'm about to go get 3, 4 bad ones. Cause it was, I did, I did every now and then, but now it was different. It was like, I'm gonna pray more. I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna work out more. I'm instead of, you know what I'm saying? Going out, having a good time. I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna go run. I'm gonna really stay on my, on my regimen and replace all the good, all the bad things with good things. I ain't gonna replace, you know, meditating with sex. You know, and losing my energy to a space where I would never ever ever be able to get it back. Because when you in pain, you know, just as much pain as you in, that's as much glory as you can have in your life. And it's about energy transformation and transmuting the energy into something positive. And when you could do that, that's when life begins to manifest and you get the blessings that you was already due. But once— the more time you take filling people in that space and in that void of the lack of love for yourself, the longer it's going to take for you to get where you're supposed to be.

Oh, I hope you changed. How did you feel when you went through a breakup?

I was hurt.

Oh, you were?

That's my quarterback.

You lost your quarterback?

No, I'm just playing. Nah, shout out to T.O., man. But nah, you know, any man gonna feel like that when you invest some in somebody, you just like, dang, you wanted to turn out a certain way. You want all of the plans that you had on paper to manifest the way they did. But me, I'm the type of person like this, it's like, I accept death, I accept breakups all the same way. Life has its cycle and it's meant to happen. And once you get to the other side of the cycle, you just got to be thankful that it happened because it's going to make you And as long as you don't let it break you, hell, you good.

Women were not the only one delusional.

So yeah, we delusional too. We just—

you said I had a vision for this going this one way and didn't go, and I feel like that's how I live my life.

Yeah, we all do. We see somebody, we'd be like, oh my God, we about to have 12 kids in our house on the moon. And you'd be like, what? And then when you don't get the 12 kids in the house on the moon, What happens? You be hurt. You be messed up.

Well, now listen.

Okay, it's about to get deep.

Don't get it. Don't get mad. Don't, don't, don't hate me. Open relationships. You were a big— you were— I don't know about now. You were a big believer in open relationships.

Why?

How did it even come to be? And do you believe in it now?

I think different strokes for different folks. I was exposed, like, being in different arenas from music, football, you know. I saw a lot of guys in, like, full-blown relationships, but, you know, they wife be stepping out, they be stepping out. You know, and I've seen, you know, different relationships where I've seen super rich couples be open, be swingers, you know. But one thing I saw about them is that they literally like loved each other at the end of the day, at the end of the night. They may do all that they want to do in that setting, but they left with each other. And at first, for me, it was a little bit weird, you know. It was one of my mentors, it was just a little bit weird. I was like, dang, like But one thing I understood is, you know, every dynamic of people is, is totally different, right? People have their own dynamic of how they want to do a relationship. And I think what it taught me was, in order to stay with the person that you really, really love, genuinely love, you got to be able to grow with the person, whether it's physically, mentally, or sexually. And whatever it takes for them to grow You have to be really willing to love them unconditionally with no judgment for them to get to that next space of life and actually grow and become the person that they are. So me, you know, not necessarily like just open, open relationships because, you know, a lot of men have open relationships because they sometimes can't sexually please a woman. Me, I hit 12 on from here all the way to goddamn Nigeria, all the way back, you know what I'm saying? Everybody be satisfied. So it was never that situation.

Okay, now relax. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying? Let's keep it real now. You know what I'm saying? Do your chain hang low, dude? Wobbling to the floor. Can you tie it in a knot? Tie it in a bow? Goddamn it, I can tie it in two bows.

But look, that is not true. That cannot be true. Not every— I had this conversation with Organic, and not every woman can be satisfied from you.

They can't, probably from them. But listen, I'm coming in with a vengeance. Holyfield versus Tyson. I'm trying to win the game and trying to win the fight. You know what I'm saying? If I don't knock him out in the first round, I'm gonna knock him out by the end of the night. But I'm talking about just generally, what I would see is some of them, they like, they wife got used to them or something like that, you know, because, you know, men got needs, but women got needs too. And a lot of women, I feel like they'd be like suffering like in silence because—

so why open relationships then? Like, what?

I wouldn't even say an open relationship. I just think, I think different folks, different folks.

What is it for you? I don't care about—

was it for me?

Yeah, for you.

Uh, at the space I'm at now, like, I ain't about to do no open relationship now, you know what I'm saying, baby? Like, you know, I like to turn up a little bit, you know what I'm saying? We can have a good little time, but for me, ain't no open relationship gonna work, especially not with my wife. I feel like that's a sacred space, you know? I feel like when you having fun, have your fun. But me, no, I don't think I'm at the space now where open relationship is something that I will want, um, at the highest level of myself, you know. But I think being in the industry, you know, or in relationships in life of things that we're in now, people be in open relationships and they don't even know it.

Where is this man coming from? Wait, when did you change to this whole, uh, a wife?

Okay, yeah, I grew up, you know.

I grew up. So like, you just turned 32 and now you all of a sudden grown?

I think that light bulb just act like really like goes off.

Oh, so December 13th, it just went off, man.

It like flickered. I, I had to call Georgia Powell because it just almost blew a spark in the house. Like, I was like, what's going on? No, it did really go off though. I was like, man, you know, I do want a wife one day.

I think you were talking like 2 years ago, however long ago when we met, your whole— literally one of the first things you told me, I love open relationships and that's where I see myself.

Because a lot of the women that I was dating and I had to notice, like, you can't control them. I used to like strippers and, and real industry girls that she might be in my section one night, she might be in Mario's section the next night, or she may be in this football player section the next night, right? She just living her best life. I caught feelings. That wasn't her fault, that was my fault that I caught feelings and I spent my money. She living the lifestyle. So I think depending on the lifestyle that you're in, you gotta go according with it. You can't get mad, wanna beat her over the head when it's like, oh, so you got feelings now?

She's moving around now, you're like, nah, you ain't gonna— you still gonna be mine, you're still gonna come home.

Yeah, because it was just not even like just come home. I think at— when you get to a higher, higher level, and I think a lot of people don't understand this, you might get in a room and it may be a girl over here that done dealt with your partner over here, or this person over here, You can't be no weirdo and be like, man, hell no, man, you ain't about to— no, man, you starting my dog. It's like, no, you can't be like that. You got to be cool. When it's your time, it's your time. Because whoa, whoa, hold— nobody want to keep it real no more. I guess I gotta—

you are the first person to ever say that on this show, that I gotta wait for my turn.

In some instances you do.

Because a lot of men be like, oh, she's a whore, I don't want to deal with her, I don't want this.

You men gotta stop that. Men love whores. That's what men lead a family for. Whores. Shout out to Michigan. Sorry, I'm just playing. Men leave their family for whores and they, and they be mad and they blow up when you could just keep it real with the hoe. Hey man, this what's going on. You my hoe, sit your ass down somewhere.

Would you want to have somebody who had a lot of experience sexually or somebody who was like, well, you know, she's like—

it depends on the space of life that you're in. When you want a peace of mind, you don't want a girl that you got to worry about, do she know Lil Duval, do she know Shaq? Shout out to y'all, man, y'all my dogs. But you don't want a girl that you gotta worry about if she did messing with Aunt Oyen, like Don't know, man, want that. Like, you can't produce the best product of yourself dealing with that. Now you can maybe at certain points when you— if you in a situation where you just like, I'm wilding out, I just need some energy, because a lot of those girls do be carrying energy. They sleep with so many guys in the league. And the thing is, it's like you saw Space Jam, right? When you touching that ball, that magic ball, right? They touch that magic ball, they touch that energy, whether it's the money around the energy or everything. That energy transfers. Why you think they successful? Sex is energy, you know what I'm saying? And they become successful. So a lot of men, once they touch the energy, they don't even know, through tantric energy and sex, it transfers to them. So why you think you hit this hoe over here? She a hoe, but she done hit 5 first-round picks. Now you all of a sudden gonna turn into a superhero, nigga. You catching the ball with one hand behind your back. Everybody like, man, what the hell? Don't got the little JoJo.

So you would date a whole whore, whatever the fuck, but you wouldn't marry her?

No, because what's the definition of a whore or a hoe? Uh, somebody like that's like sexually promiscuous, like that.

How many people?

It's not even—

it's not even that. What is it?

Is it how many people?

I don't know.

Or is it how many times a day?

I don't know.

I'm just playing.

Times a day?

Goddamn. No, what I'm saying is I think a whore is a woman that's highly promiscuous. Excuse. She's not exclusive to where she sleep, who she sleeps with. And a man and a woman can be a hoe. So let's keep it quite frank and real, both of us can be a hoe. Now just to understand, now you a hoe, I'm a hoe. You hoe on Saturday, Wednesday, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's just, it's just the understanding when you're dealing with hoes, because they really be so, so cool. But at the same time, it's just like, they are never going to be able to handle and be in that emotional mature space to handle the capacity when it comes to those duties of doing certain— now some, some of them, they able to get saved and do whatever they do, but they be hurting on the inside because they just love— they want that— something inside of them, they want that adrenaline to be able to feel like they can go get the top dude and go get any dude. That's why hoes, they be cool for a little while, but every dude, if you ever tried to wife a hoe and turn into a housewife, you have this little feeling in the middle of your chest We can talk about this right now. Subscribe to my page, but you hurting every day because you don't know. You just give up on it. You just don't know whether she dealing with somebody behind your back. You just love her so much and you lose your level of masculinity when you dealing with hoes for too long over time. Cause you're going to have to deal with shit that a real man not going to deal with. He going to put it down and be like, hey baby, you got your ass gotta be in the house by 10, 11 o'clock. And if not, you know what I'm saying? You need to be going with folks that I know specifically and make sure the driver, or I'm picking you up, or you coming home at a certain time, and it's boundaries. Hoes don't really be respecting boundaries like that, you know what I'm saying?

So no, I get it.

Yeah, that's all it be.

Have you ever paid for sex before?

Uh, not because I wanted to. I'm just playing. Uh, have I paid for sex before? I think all men pay for sex. It's either on the front end or the back end. Have I paid for front end sex? I have before. Have I paid for back end? Yeah. I think the back end is a relationship. When you, when you're in a relationship with a woman, you're paying for pussy. You, you are. You either gonna get a rental or you're gonna get a lease.

Can you buy it?

No, I'm just being real. Because when you got a woman, if you got a wife, you're paying overtime. You're— it's a lease. And the moment that you can't pay for that money or you ain't got that money You're gonna have to come on in. If she divorce you, you still gonna have to pay child support. So you're gonna end up paying for it regardless. So I think that's something men got to get out of their head. Like, some money is going to be spent whether it's front end or back end. But as for me, have I— the pussy was good. It was good.

It was a good pussy. Oh, I just like— because everybody says that, but what does that mean? Define it.

It's a gripper and it's a squirter and it's a clamper. You know what I'm saying? If it grip, squirting, it clamp. Goddamn. Well, you stay in, you don't leave, man. What?

That's how you had to put it.

Why you think Offset acting like that? That's a gripper, it's a what? Clamper on a squirter. Shit, this nigga Stephon Diggs balling out right now. What you talking about? Yeah, I'm saying like Some people you can, you, you already know, you know what I'm saying? Like some women, you know, like sometimes it's word of mouth and sometimes you can just, sometimes you can just tell.

It's not for word of mouth, man.

We talk to men, talk just like women.

Men talk more than women. It's crazy.

No, we don't. I don't know about more, but we be in the locker room just like y'all be in the group chat.

I don't be in the group chat, but okay, but, but I, I actually one time I did have this one guy tell me, yeah, um, there's very positive, um, there's like positive feedback about you. And I was like, what the fuck? Like, what are we talking about?

Yeah, if they come at you knocking at your door and they talk nice, somebody in that group chat had to tell them.

I don't— I'm like, if I were to put two and two together, there's only one person, but I'm like, I know that person doesn't talk. So I'm like, how the fuck does this even This is like, it's, I was like, this is mind-blowing that this is even a conversation.

If you put it on a dude for real, for real, and your DMs start going crazy and beating up, how you know that he's talking, man? He talking. You like, why the hell is the Celtics, the Pelicans, and the Giants hitting me up in the same week, man? He done ran his, man, you see shorty, man, I'm talking about, man, she did a backflip off the wall. 'And just spend on it.' I'm talking about he's just saying something crazy, and that's why it's referral basis. That's what the world's based off of.

Well, you guys, um, I'm very disappointed because I don't get no DMs from Celtics or Hawks or Giants or whatever the fuck.

I don't.

Yeah, I do not. Um, those— there's no word on the streets, so I guess good pussy is not over here. Yeah.

Now, good pussy ain't always advertised. Now remember that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, we got hope. Okay. Now tell me this. Do successful men struggle more with commitment or less?

Way more.

Why? What's so scary about commitment these days?

I don't think that— I think the struggle of commitment is The options, you have so many options. Like, the moment— and knowing like who's really, really like real and down for you, right? By the time you get to the point where you think if somebody really like you, you see the red flags, you're like, dang, she really don't like me. She barely laughed at your joke. Hey, you want to come to the house and just sit down and just vibe and drink some wine and you know, watch some TV, you'd have been dating her a whole month. She like, no, I'm just going with my girls. And she doesn't like you. And I think that's exactly what it is.

Like, but what if she doesn't want to go to your house because she's like, I know where that's going to lead and I don't want to have sex with you?

It depends on who she dealing with, you know. If she don't want to have sex, like, and I don't mean— I'm not saying about the first date. Like, the first date is weird. That's weird as hell. Hey, come to my crib. Like, no, hell no. What? Come to my mansion? Like, that's weird. If we don't went on a few dates and we chilling, we vibing, you know, and it's a weekend and I'm— I just don't want to go out and I really want to have a good time and just engage with you, we don't even got to have sex at the— at the beginning of the day. We could wait till the nighttime, you know what I'm saying? We don't even have to have sex, to be honest, that day. But if we already been in that rhythm and that motion, depending on what we in then cool. But honestly, for real, a woman know out the gate if she want to have sex with a man or not.

No, I mean like, what if she's just like, she just wants to chill, like, because not always you want to have sex.

I mean, it's really depending on the vibe. Like, if y'all are not on the same accord that, hey, I'm chilling, I'm coming to vibe, and I don't want to have sex— if y'all just can't chill, then it's a lustful relationship. But somebody that really enjoys it, y'all could really be like best friends, not have no sex, and just chill all day and just vibe out.

Do you believe that men can be friends with women?

Yeah, I got a lot of women friends, but that comes with maturity though.

Do you— you've never had sex with them?

No, for real, I ain't, I ain't had sex with none of them. Maybe one of, one of them, but such a fucking liar. I mean, but in actuality, majority of them now, like, nah, like, I got some baddie homegirls, but it's just really for me to stay and float and stay in motion with really what's going on, because they dealing with the top of the top guy. They got the— what they say— the tea. They got the newest what's going on. And then I can bounce my ideas and reflections off of them, you know, and they give me a real feedback of like, nah, bro, that ain't it, bro. Or like, uh, you tripping. Or I be like, hey, you like this fit right here? They like, ah, that's cool, that's a little feminine. I'm like, all right, bet, I'm going I'm gonna throw on the hoodie with it then, you know. So I think having women and feminine energy in your life, if you're a super masculine man, and if you're not, having that feminine energy will balance you out and push you towards your highest level of masculinity. So having women as friends and not having sex with them is so cool. I think it's so cool.

You know what's really cool? You know what I just remembered? When, um, I remember I was dealing with somebody, it was like last year or year before, And, um, it was Valentine's Day. So this is, this is how crazy I am. Okay guys.

Okay.

This is, I'm, I'm gonna tell you the story. Okay. So it was Valentine's Day. I went to this dinner with the girls and I was wearing the pink dress, remember?

Okay.

And then you called me and then you were like, what are you doing? And I'm like, I'm just leaving this dinner. You're like, come on, come have dinner with me. So we went to a steakhouse. Mm-hmm. And then we were having dinner and drinks. And I was like, I was dealing with somebody and I was telling you that like, oh my God, this man is just like driving me crazy and it's just so annoying. So I tell him, I say, put your hand like this, put your watch right here. And you had the Dior hoodie on. And I was like, put the Dior hoodie here and then we're going to have 2 glasses of whatever drinks we were having. And I took a picture of that hand and I was like, I'mma post it tomorrow.

That's hilarious.

And I remember I posted that because like we were just, we had drinks drinks and dinner and whatever. We run separate, you know, places. And I remember on Valentine's Day I posted that— your hand with those drinks there with the watch. And I remember that pissed off that man so bad.

Why you do him like that?

Because he was just stupid. But also, like, you know, I'm— I can be toxic, I'm not gonna lie. I was—

you was gaslighting him?

I— yeah, because I was like, the fuck do you think you is? Like, you know, because you had like a nice watch and he had the Dior hoodie, and I'm like, and a steakhouse. So I did use Jordan's hand one time, and I— he got very jealous, and I stopped talking to him. That was the last time.

I see what women be doing. She was out with me, you know what I'm saying? He probably could have pulled up, you know what I mean?

You were on it.

Had to put that fire on him, you know what I'm saying? Because he thinking that I'm over there trying to deal with her at the steakhouse when I was just trying to make sure community was fed.

Okay, you were not trying to make sure the— you didn't even feed me. But, but, but you were on it, cuz I told you I'm going to do it. You were like, oh yeah, bet, let's do it, let's do it. And then I didn't post it the day off, I posted the day after, so it wasn't even, you know.

Did he call you back?

He— of course he blew up my phone. Okay, I— you did, you did great, you did amazing things for your friend.

This is hilarious.

You don't remember?

What are friends for, man? Come on, man.

This is, this is why it's so cool to have friendships with men, because sometimes they can pull up at the right time on Valentine's Day, but whatever, February 13th, and then, you know, because I don't care for Valentine's Day, but I was just like, you know, let's, let's do that. So, um, I'm actually, if I'm gonna post this as a reel, I'm gonna add that picture. I'm pretty sure I still have that picture.

Oh, is it real?

Yeah, I'd like it. Oh yeah, yeah, like once I'm gonna clip it.

Yeah, that was hilarious. That was hilarious.

You know what, that leads me to the last part of the conversation that I feel like would be really cool to talk to you about dating, like, me. Because a lot of people are coming at me with, oh, I want to date you, you're my dream girl, you're the love of my life. And I'm like, I don't think y'all know me.

Hey man, find something safe to play with. No, I'm just playing. No, I think, I think I think dating you, I think, is, is cool. I've seen you date, you know what I'm saying, and have, you know, a few different relationships. Well, not— I wouldn't even say relationships. I think you—

situationships.

Yeah, situationships, or just like acquaintances with people. But I mean, you at a space where you trying to like find your way dating-wise. I see with, with a lot. I see it with women in my family. I see it just with women, period. So I don't think you you should be judged for choosing and dating, you know what I'm saying, whoever you feel like dating, you know. And I think once you come to that realization of what like really fits you, because you're going to keep growing and people got to be able to deal with you. I don't— I think you— I think you just like any other woman. I think the difference between you is like, you know, you really, really know exactly what you want, you know. You know you want to be successful and you're going to handle your business and by any means and go get it. So I think you got to have somebody that's comfortable enough to be around you to understand, like, you gonna be around all the top Black athletes and all the dudes, you know what I'm saying, around them. And they just got to be comfortable, but you got to just be honest enough with them to make them feel comfortable in that space to be able to support you. And I think that, you know, relationship-wise, it'll work, you know what I'm saying. On top of that, hey man, you got to be 6'3" up, man. I promise you, man, listen, yeah, gonna be feeling like You know what I mean? Like, you ain't make the— you was JV and ain't made the, uh, varsity team, man. Yeah, can't be coming in here short, man.

Uh, thank you, because everybody's like, would you date a shorter man? For what? Why would I date a shorter man?

Now, if he's— for him, I'm gonna do this for him. Now, if he stand on his wallet, he probably 6'9", but I don't want 6'9", you know that. I don't like—

that's too tall for me.

But I think, um, I think a relationship for you would be dope. I think right now You know, it may be something that you may need to focus. I mean, I think when you're in your light, if you do have a relationship, it's something they need to like prepare you for and push you towards your destiny and your dreams and put you in the rooms that you're supposed to be in with no hate and no jealousy and no control. But I think it's gonna come and it always— it's gonna be—

how would it be? Because I feel like a lot of people have this idea of me, right? Like they see this pretty girl, they, they see that I talk they see, they're like, oh, we like what she says. And so they always like, you're my dream girl, or you're my fan, you're this and that. But I'm like, I don't think you guys know me as a person because like I'm very demanding.

Yeah, yeah, I think you demand another person. I think, um, you can't deal with people that's like indecisive, but you gotta have people that's like really like sure. And then they space in somebody that's really like established. In a sense as to where they going and really, really know what they want. Um, I don't really see ethnicity like being like an issue, you know.

Um, you know, it's not going to be anything but Blacks.

Hey, hey man, I, I didn't say it. Y'all heard it here first, man. She said she going over there with them. But, uh, yeah, I mean, and even if it is Black, you just got to, um You got to get somebody to just understand you, you know, and, and just want you to be the best version of yourself.

Why has it been so hard? Why people don't understand me?

Shit, it's a lot of factors that go into it though.

What is it? You know me.

He got to be rich, 6'4", uh, Black. That's easy. No, that ain't all the way easy. You want God to come down, down here He gotta make what, 7 figures? Shit, you looking for a Keem Abdul-Jabbar. You ain't looking for a regular man. But I mean, you can find it, but then it'll just be— it, it just so many factors because at the same time it's like, there's something you told me one time. What I say?

I can't tell you shit.

Nah, folks can't, folks can't really tell you shit. Like once you get your mind fixed on something, like it's you. They not gonna be able to really tell you nothing. So you gotta have somebody that you able to really like, like, listen to. Somebody's gonna be like, hey, not even aggressive, somebody can say it like real soft and subtle, and you just be like, okay, you know what, okay, I understand. So somebody that can meet you where you are and have that level of understanding, I think that's the biggest and best thing, like, relationship-wise, that's gonna help. But I think right now I think you about to go on like a superstar type run to where, you know, like kind of like how Meg did. Like Meg dated whoever she wanted to date until she found what she wanted to date. She dated Short, she dated Tory, went Clay, you know what I'm saying? What's the boy name? Uh, the other dude she dated, uh, uh, Craig, that's his name. But long story short, it's like, uh, yeah, you just got to— you, you got to just go until you figure out. You got to bump your head until you find out what really, like, works for you.

Well, shit, I'm not doomed.

You're not doomed. No. Tomorrow the sun will shine again.

Oh, how do you— do you ever get more attracted to a woman's presence than her actual, like, physical appearance and her character?

I think always. I'm an aura guy. Like, you got to walk in the room and, like, shut it down with your aura. Like, just being cute— it's a lot of, it's a lot of fine women out here. It's a lot of women that's so drop-dead gorgeous, like, they walking, they like, dang, but they don't got no sex appeal. They just sexy. They don't have no aura, no vibe, no essence to them. The woman that walk in— I've seen women that's 6s, a little less beautiful than the 10s, come in and just got the aura, they got the spunk, they got the smile, they got the personality, and they got the scent. I'm big on scents. They got the smell to them and everything encompassing just unites, and they just able to just flow the room. And then you have women that are just beautiful, they just sitting over there like, pick me, like, I am so cute. And you like, bro, come on, bro, like, you ain't— you took 3 sips of that water, you know you dehydrated a over there. Just have a good time, please. And I think it's about aura, but it is some tens that— some women that got it all together, they walk in, they just flow. They smell good, the energy is good, they talk good, they know how to get money. You know, I'm an energy guy. Aura, big aura. Yeah.

What about kids? Do you want kids?

I do, I do. I don't have no kids right now.

Um, what do you say like that? Like it's like a thing, like a shopping item. To, to get?

Well, you're gonna have to go shopping when you get them, so they ball in the same, uh, grocery bag. But long story short, I do want kids. I want some gorgeous kids, healthy kids. I just think, uh, once I chose this new path of life, like, as far as like entertainment-wise and boxing, there was a level of dedication that I, I had to dedicate to the sport and everything that I had. And music, and I just knew it would just take too much time right now for me to be at home changing diapers and stuff like that.

You're not gonna do that.

I'll change the diaper one— once a week.

Once a week? What is— I'm just playing.

Twice.

You're not gonna change no diapers.

I would. I really would change the diaper. I don't wanna— come on, man. I ain't gonna have my little man out here like that.

What if it's a little girl?

Yeah, I ain't gonna have her out here like that, poop keep running up her back and nobody changing. Yeah, she'd never forgive me for that. I'll change the diaper.

How many kids do you want?

Honestly, being an African man, I've always wanted to have a bunch of kids, but I think, um, probably like 3, 4.

Are you gonna— like, when you're gonna have a kid, do you think you're gonna look at your woman different, or are you gonna be like more in love, or you're gonna be more like, oh no, something is like happening now?

What do you mean, look at her different? Like her body?

Yeah, because you know, the body is going to change.

Like she gonna get bigger, most likely. I love that. Get big, big mama, come here with your thick ass. Yeah, I like that. For real, for real. I think a lot of men, they be wanting this picture-perfect thing. Like, seeing a woman, like, I think it's so sexy when women get pregnant. They be having this like glow to them. It's like this golden glow, and they be really, really like— women be really, really sexy like when they get, get big, because they, they little hands, they feet and stuff be swelling up, and all they be needing somebody to take care of them and feed them. They just turn into like a little baby. Like, for me, like, I feel like when women get pregnant— I've seen women pregnant, and I think it's like a fascinating sight because she taking all this time to like nurture, like, the baby take all the nutrients from the body, and like she be weak some days and the mood swings and stuff like that. I think I'm gonna enjoy the process of that because I'm an intense guy. I like the adrenaline of like new experiences. So I think going through that, I think it'll be dope.

But it's not gonna be a baby mama, right? It's gonna be your wife.

Yeah, definitely gonna be a wife. I can't, I can't do the baby mama thing.

Why?

I just feel like it breaks the structure of the home, man. I see a, I see a lot of women like, it turned women masculine when they got to deal with the kids on their own. And, you know, it gets to the point where they like, they give up on love, you know what I'm saying, for real. Because it'd be hard. You gotta love yourself, you gotta love him, then you gotta play dad, you know. You gotta— I see a lot of women, especially, you know, in the Black community, they handle so much on their own with kids, and it really takes away from their femininity and that soft space. And they never— once you strip that soft space, it's very hard to get it back. Because you can't trust that a man will give that to you, and you got to give it to yourself. And which is— that's not the space of life that, you know, I'm saying, I feel like women should actually be in. So I think—

but why did they make those decisions to have kids outside of marriage or outside of a relationship? Because a lot of them— and then what happens is those men, they're nowhere to be found.

I think it's false expectations. It can— it could be on the man, it could be on the woman too as well. I think it's just a situational-based, uh, thing. I think if the man is telling you that he doesn't want to have that kid, but you're looking at it as a come up, then you're going to get the results of the formula that's put in, you know. I think if it was actually built off of love, you know, and it does go separate ways, y'all are going to try to find a way to make that situation as possible— as comfortable as possible for the kid. But I think a lot of people, they be selfish because A lot of these men really don't be wanting them kids. It'd be, it'd be just like a fun sex. You was just fun. Yeah, sometimes, you know, men be doing the most and treating them like girlfriends and stuff, and then they end up actually accidentally getting them pregnant. But I think that's a conversation that did need to be had, and that's the level of emotional maturity. Like, hey, you're not ready to have a kid, I'm not ready to have a kid, but you're dealing with somebody with millions, you know, and you're dealing with a woman and she like, look, this is what I do, I'm trying to come up, that's one thing. But if y'all are both on the same page, she has a career, he has a career, and y'all come to a general consensus like it ain't time to have no kid right now, y'all need to stick to that, you know what I'm saying? And not let money be the factor, because eventually the woman could win if she roll the dice right. But if the man really don't want to be there, she going to lose, because she may win in the financial department, but emotionally that kid's going to be drained.

Mhm.

Yeah, that's—

yeah, that's crazy. All right, let me ask you a couple more, um, couple more questions pretty quick, and then we're going to wrap it up.

Okay.

Um, you can kind of answer them pretty short.

Okay.

What did this chapter of your life teach you about love?

I would say love don't come with a price. Real love don't cost a thing.

Mm-hmm. What does choosing yourself look like for you now?

Staying obligated to the schedule that I set for myself and the goals that I set for myself without dealing with the obligations of the downfalls of what other people are going through in their life.

One habit you are unlearning in dating?

Uh, one habit I'm unlearning in dating— free boundaries. Like, uh, I guess bending my boundaries because I like somebody or because I really want to be around somebody, like really staying firm on what I believe and who I am, even if it's not at the benefit of the person that I think that I like or that I want to be around, just to prolong the situation. Because it's like, if you don't like this and I don't like that, and that's your hard no and that's my hard no, we can sweep it under the rug, but eventually it's gonna clash. So Understanding, hey, good time and not a long time.

What ruins attraction instantly?

Uh, lack of understanding.

What does that mean?

What ruins attraction?

Like, what, she doesn't understand you? She wouldn't understand you right away.

It's the willingness to. Oh, if you're not willing to understand me, we ain't gonna never ever grow and never get nowhere. But if I come willing to understand you, it don't matter what you do, your downfalls, if, if things you don't comprehend it as fast, I'mma still be there for you and walk with you, especially if you making the effort to be there. So I think that's what it is for me.

And I've known some women you've had around, I'm like, I don't know how you— I don't know, I don't understand. Chemistry or consistency?

Consistency. Chemistry fades. If you, if you, if you mix the formula different.

One truth men avoid admitting.

One truth men avoid admitting: that sometimes we lie to make y'all feel comfortable.

Oh, I love that you said that, because do I.

Yeah, man, sometimes we lie. I won't even say flat out lie. I would say to keep the peace sometimes. And you shouldn't be around people that— and that's the level of maturity. Like, I think the masses, some people, some women can't handle the full truth, even though they say that they handle that right. And I would say to that. Well, though, that's how you know that you shouldn't be dealing with that person because they're not aligned with where you're going. I think a general consensus, a lot of men lie to keep the peace and keep a lot of women comfortable. And then when you reach your full maturation and you're like, I don't care who leaves me, I don't care who's not for me or who's not with me, I'm not going to tell no lie. I'm going to stand on this truth, and if you can't handle this truth, you're not meant to be over here. True. Yeah.

Okay. All right. Last one. Biggest red flag in yourself.

Biggest red flag in me? Mm-hmm.

Shit.

What's the biggest red flag in me? I think the biggest red flag before, and that's something I've been working on like a lot, um, is giving people the benefit of the doubt. You know, I feel like I'm a dangerous person. I can, I can be dangerous if I need to. And you would hope that people would like understand that, right? Or they understand the levels that you could take certain things to, whether it's a relationship, a fight in the ring, or anything. And it's like sometimes when you give people the benefit of the doubt, they take your kindness for weakness. So I think really, like I said, establishing the boundaries and allowing people to really understand the real version of you and the, the levels of the different, the different levels of the spectrum that you are able and that you equipped to handle. To. So I think that's what it is.

Oh my God, so much growth in this man. Goddamn.

Yeah, I ain't seen in a minute, man. All right, hey, all right, well, tell people where they can find you. Hey everybody, y'all can find me, man, King J-Mo. Y'all can find me on Instagram @jmoiam, Twitter @jmoiam, and on TikTok @jmoiam. Yeah, man, look me up, man. I got, I got something for y'all. New music on the way, new acting on the way, man. 2025 about to be a big year, man.

2026, what are you talking about?

I'm sorry, run it back. 2026 is about to be a good— I just had a hell of a year 2025 and I just wanted to run it back again. But 2026 is about to be a hell of a year. Um, a lot of fights coming up next year, man. We'll be in Mexico first. So, you know, wish them luck because I don't need it. I train hard. Well, I'm just playing with you, but, uh, he crazy on that bag.

I saw it. I was like, yeah, no, I ain't coming around. I thought he was just playing. No, he's not playing. He's not playing. I've seen it. I went to a workout and I was like, no, I'm okay.

There you heard it. So yeah, man, I'm pushing to be one of the, one of the greatest fighters in the world, man. 2026, man. King J-Mo, Man, Jordan Moore, he emerges. Big 30, 30 Global, we outside, man.

Well, thank you guys for watching. Thank you for coming.

Thank you for having me, Lesya. I know this is amazing.

I didn't want to have you on, but then I was like, you know what, people like you.

Do they?

They do. They love you. Now they're going to be— all these girls are going to be in your DMs. Oh my God, you're a perfect man. Oh my God, I want you. I want to have kids with you.

I want to have Y'all, I'm not perfect. I'm just putting in the effort to be better, and that's the difference. Some folks don't want to realize, you know what I'm saying, when you messed up. I was fucked up. I was messed up as a person, you know. And I think once I healed that version and I saw, it was like, you know, I could probably be better, you know.

Well, tell me you love me.

Lesya, love you. Thank you for having me on this show today, you know. Shout out to the viewers that are viewing out there too as well. We want you all to come back for the next show. Ah, yeah, talk less, man. I talk more today.

I hope you guys know what I just did because people be coming at me with that. But anyways, thank you guys for watching. I'll see you in the next one.

Bye! See you later.