Why Men Love Bitches | Justin Whitehead (85 South)

I just went through a heartbreak and she was like, you need this.

You too?

Yes. Oh, you did too? You went through a heartbreak, man?

Yes. What you got though? Men like women who got a little freak in them. If she just wants to have sex and that's just what she's upfront about or whatever, you gotta respect that. You can't label her because she likes sex. Why bother me? Leave me alone. At this point, I want a family.

And you're doing the same motherfucking thing as they did before. Why? Your definition of I felt like you would be a good person to talk about this whole concept of why men love bitches. Can a woman really know why men love bitches?

You either got a hoe or you got a woman. Whore, a bitch, or whatever. Man can be a bitch. So anybody that just does bitch stuff.

Do you think women should take advice from women about men?

Yeah, if they dating the same man.

Like, oh, men cheat, or men just want a bunch of bitches, or this and that. Men switch up their patterns.

I went down on a woman for 38 minutes one night.

What the fuck was she on? Is she—

Roll.

So Mandy was talking about this one experience where she was pegging a man.

Nah, I ain't talking about that now. Miserable people are the ones who are out there giving unsolicited opinions and advice about relationships that nobody even asked them about because they ain't got nobody in they shit. I'm damaged. People who with shit to lose move different. I wrote this girl a 16-page letter before. I need you to be a filthy hoe. What you see is what you get. I fucking love Atlanta. I don't believe shit nobody say. Don't text me good morning. Good morning, I hope you have a good day. You just fucked it up.

I never paid attention to men who are under 6'2".

Tiffany has a nose. I want to get one. I don't give a fuck. We'll go over there and fuck who Tiffany fucking is. My trust is fucked up.

This is Talk Less. Talk less, do more. You know, and I feel like the best dates that I've had, they were at comedy shows. Because you cry laughing with those people. It's just, it's, it's, it's That's not a first date, is it? Uh, was it a first date? I don't remember. It was back when I lived in San Francisco. I used to go to the Punchline in San Francisco.

I mean, that was good dates now, but not for a first date because first date I want to—

Oh no, no, no. Maybe it was like, you know, once we kind of like talked to each other, it was like maybe second or third, something. Because I was like, I want to do something.

I want to go and—

Gotcha. And it would be some— because, you know, usually people go— I remember we went to Ali Wong's show, right? Sold out whatever theater in San Francisco, like huge arena. Um, it wasn't like the Chase Center, but it was one of those big theaters that was sold out. And it's funny, but it's the same shit that you would see on Netflix. Then you go to the Small Punchline, which holds like maybe 100-something people, and you see all these comedians that are so-called no-name comedians. But I'm telling you, I was crying laughing. Yeah, it was the best experience that I've had. It is just— I don't remember the names of those guys, but the jokes were just like— I felt like, my man, you seen through right now.

Yeah, a lot of us unknown people are the funniest right now.

So that being said, there's a lot of stuff that comedians say, especially, you know, the 85 South crew. There's something that I hear a lot, and you know, obviously we got to go to the dating route.

Okay.

And I got this book. I'm gonna show you guys. I'll show you the book. It's called Why Men Love Bitches. My friend Azar, who just did my show, she recommended me this book because I just went through a heartbreak and she was like, you need this.

You do?

Yes. Oh, you did too? You went through a heartbreak, man?

Yes.

Really?

What you got now?

That shit was so painful. I never been so much like— I've never cried so much in my life, man.

Just know if I knew a motherfucker who did voodoo, she'll be a frog right about now. I've—

that's how I felt. I felt like, like there was some, some sort of spell put on me.

My whole thing is just, why, why bother me? You know what I want. We talked about it in the beginning. Leave me alone. Because I won't— at this point, I want a family. I want, I want, I want to be married. I want, you know, I did want 4 or 5 kids, but the older I get, I have to scratch one off. So, you know, now I'm at 3. You know, next year I might be at 2.

2? They're older? They're 18?

No, I want kids. I don't have any.

Oh, you don't have any?

No, I want kids. Oh, I've been in love with the same woman for 9 years, and she don't want the same shit I want.

Okay, so what's the love about then?

I'm just That's who I love.

And you can't—

I don't know what's wrong. I don't like— I really— I've tried dating. I just don't.

You just want the same person?

That's just who I want.

Okay, mine wasn't 9 years, but it was kind of like we were friends before, and mine was— the whole thing was with me the same thing. Like, you knew what I want, you knew where I'm at, you knew me as a person, you knew the reason why relationships didn't work before, and you're doing the same motherfucking thing as they did before. Why? You never had to even cross the lines with me.

But yeah, so, but no, uh, I'm dating again. Um, it's just kind of hard now because 9 years ago I didn't have to worry about the family and kids. No, not that, but okay, does she really want me? Or did she want a nigga on the internet?

See, that's, that's, I think that's the biggest thing, especially now with dating. It's like, it's hard because I feel the same way now. Like, I'm, you know, and I haven't been doing this for that many years. It's only been a year and a half. But still people see me and every day, you know, I get so many DMs like, oh, you still a year or not? It's like people, you know, And I'm still a human and I still have feelings and emotions. And I think now I'm more so in tune with my feelings and my emotions. And it sucks when people play with you.

And I've always been, 'cause I'm a Scorpio.

Okay. I have, um, I think my moon is in Scorpio. Something is like, I have a Scorpio as a part of my chart.

Well, that's a good thing.

Yeah. So I'm, I'm very deeply feeling and emotional. Like I need to connect with people. I don't like the surface level shit. I need to go like, Just, that's why I read books, because I feel like there's depth to it, and like I get to know someone. That's why I wanted, you know, before Mandy came on the show, I wanted to get in her mind.

So you read it before she came?

I read it before she got on the show because all you hear is like, oh, she's, she's a whore, she's too sexually liberated, she's this and that. And I'm like, but I want to know, because the thing is, what she wrote about, a lot of women just don't talk about because they lie, but they actually live the same life. So don't say, don't put a label, because the easiest thing to do is to slap a label on somebody versus actually going through their experience and know what it is.

And that's my sentiments exactly. That's why I want to write my story now. And then you read about what you didn't know before you met me. So maybe you'll kind of understand me better, why I say what I say, move the way I move, think the way I think. And whatever happens after the book, you'll see it. You're witnessing that. So there's no need for anything else. It's all being filmed. It's all, yeah. It's just, you don't know, you know, you don't know how my parents met. You don't know how my parents are. You don't know how I was raised. You don't know what happened to me growing up. Not just from my parents, just life period. Because I had very, great parents. Half, because they're still alive, they're still married. So I don't want to— Yeah, yeah.

So that's interesting. But, you know, so this is, this is why, because I felt like you would be a good person to talk about this whole concept of why men love bitches. And I don't know if that's the truth, or there's a thing that I hear, especially from a lot of comedians. There are hoes, bitches, whores, and women. What is the difference between a hoe, whore, bitch, and a woman?

Um, I would say, all right, of course we all know what a woman is.

What's a woman?

A woman is— but still, I don't know, because at the end of the day, I think it's only two. You either got a hoe or you got a woman. I don't— a whore, a bitch, uh, whatever. Because what you would call a bitch, a woman could have a bad day and she could be bitching about something. She could bitch about something. And then if a woman is very comfortable with her sexuality, very in tune with who she is, and sexually liberated, and she just likes to have sex like anybody else, Somebody call her a whore or a hoe or whatever. I would call a woman a whore or a hoe who just play with people's feelings and just, you know what I'm saying? Just fuck men. You know, like you would call a man a dog who, you know, attract women, you know, a womanizer, you know, tell 'em whatever they want to hear, get 'em, you know, and then play with 'em just to get what they want. You call him a dog, okay? A woman who does the same thing, I would call her a whore or a hoe or whatever. Because if you just— if she just wants to have sex and that's just what she's upfront about or whatever, you got to respect that. You can't label her because she likes sex. But the way she presents herself or handles it, I guess that's how you would label her, a whore or hoe or whatever.

I also heard this concept that hoes have it the best because they can manipulate men. They can get whatever they want. They—

women can too.

True, true. But I feel like they don't get their feelings involved. Women, a lot of times, they're gonna have their feelings involved in a lot of the relationships, right?

That's what— that's what I told you. Like, a hoe, they don't have their feelings involved. They just go around and be the dog that a man is.

But it makes fun. And that's why a lot of times men say we need hoes.

So she's a fun girl.

She's a fun girl.

Yeah.

So that's why they say we need hoes, or where the hoes at, bring the hoes. Like a lot of comedy shows or stand-ups, you know, they talk about hoes.

Yeah.

So, and they need hoes.

Hoes. Okay, well, I would say this for me, a hoe would be a woman who I just absolutely have no intentions on having a kid with, um, Meeting my people, even going to eat with. You can come over and we'll DoorDash.

Okay.

You won't make it to a comedy show. I'll probably put your name on the list, but you won't be in the green room.

Really?

That's a ho.

Okay, that's a ho?

Yeah. A woman, I might even walk outside and walk you in the green room, or you might come to the show with me.

Okay.

That's a woman.

Okay. Interesting.

I don't, a bitch would be anybody that just, a man can be a bitch. So anybody that just does bitch stuff, always just bitching and you know, just make life difficult. That's a bitch.

Yeah.

It don't even have to be a woman. That's why when I say, that's why when I call people bitches, I'm not just talking about, a woman. I'm talking about anybody who makes life difficult, who makes my ass itch, who just annoys me, who's just a discrepancy. That's a bitch.

That's what Drake said in the line, "When I say bitch, I rarely refer to women." Oh, I see.

I didn't know that.

That's a line, one of the songs that he had. Yep, yep, definitely said that. Mm-hmm.

Because Drake is a Scorpio.

Oh, see, there you go. You guys think alike. I, I love Scorpios. I honestly, I'm a Leo, so I connect with a lot of people. But so when she says, and, and you know, it was interesting because when I got the book, my first thought was, I haven't read it yet, right? So I just got some, some of the points from ChatGPT cuz I'm a heavy user of AI. Um, you know, and it's like ChatGPT can summarize the book sometimes. And my first thought was, can a woman really know why men love bitches? Because she is not a man, so how can she tell me what a man is gonna want?

Um, I think she's just probably dealt with some men, um, that played with her and wasted her time and moved on to another woman that she felt like was a bitch, and she feels like she's this woman or whatever because Do you think women should take advice from women about men? Yeah, if they dating the same man, but not just men in general.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's only in Atlanta that we date the same man.

No, I'm saying not at the same time. Like, if you're dating somebody that this woman used to date, okay, she can give you some advice on that, but she don't need to come and give you advice on a man that she knows nothing about. If she see you happy with a man, she don't need to come and try to tell you, well, this is what you should do, or this is what you should look out for, or he should be doing this and he should be doing that. Because if it's working for you and you got a smile on your face and you with this man, the fuck does it worry about you?

I agree. I don't think that— I don't think it's my place to give advice to any relationships because I'm not in and I don't fucking know what's going on, right? But at the same time, if we're dating the same man— it only happened one time when I've dated somebody who my friend dated 10 years ago. Okay. So, but, and that's, I was like, I didn't even know about that. It kind of happened to be that she dated somebody that I used to date a couple years ago. And then I dated somebody who she used to date 10 years ago. And that was the only time, but that shit didn't end well because that really like split us up at the end of the day. Because, you know, women were kind of like, I don't really wanna fuck some, the same guy that, that, that. That the girl used to fuck with my friend, you know, because now this is weird. Like, we know a little too much. Like, this is too close to home, right? So it's kind of— we tend not to do that unless that happens. But even if it does happen, so like, it was— I mean, whatever she was telling me about the guy was correct, but it was 10 years ago. And I'm like, goddamn, this is so crazy. Because at first I was like, let me have my experience with him.

Yeah, you don't want to hear that shit.

I don't want to hear it. Like, I want to— like, I'm still kind of like, you know, still like butterflies and shit.

See, then you sort of kind of listen to it, but you take it, you know, with a grain of salt. Just like, all right, cool. I'mma keep it in the back of my head because you were there. But I don't know if you telling me this because you kind of like, you bitch. Or like, you're my friend, fuck that. I know we did talk, but you should know this. You know what I'm saying? So yeah.

I think she was coming from a really good place because she was protective of me as her friend. But I've always kind of been like, let me go and do my own thing. Like I left home when I was very early, like when I was 14. So I wanted to experience life. Like I don't need nobody telling me, Even to this day, like, my mom can't tell me shit, you know, because—

don't do nothing. Don't, don't, don't, please don't.

She's—

don't, don't whoop her ass while I'm here. I don't want to be a witness.

She, she don't tell me nothing. Like, I'm just—

I can tell you grew up in Russia, cuz I am 38 years old and my mama still tell me what to do. My daddy still tell me what to do.

Well, no, for sure they're going to—

well, not tell me what to do, but I still respect their—

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They don't tell me what to do, but I won't do nothing that they won't agree with. How about that?

See, your mom wanted you to go to college, right? No, no. Oh, okay.

She told me I didn't have to. She— but because she would have rather me go. But if I'm not going to go and really go to class, get a degree, pay attention, do what I'm supposed to do, then don't waste nobody time. Don't waste no—

but telling somebody what to do is like, no, you're going to college, it's not a question, right?

But if they did tell me that, I'm not— I still wasn't gonna go.

See, that's not— they can't tell you shit. That's the, that's the, that's just the example of that. Cuz with, with me, I, you know, it don't matter what they say, I'm still gonna try and experience things for myself.

Right, right, right, right, right. Because they did.

Yeah, they did. But it's also like when it comes down to dating, you're not me, right? And I'm not you, right? So my experience is gonna be very different than whatever the fuck you had, right? Or, uh, you know, fucking whatever her name is. She had, you know, it is what it is. Like, I don't know.

That's why you don't listen to that shit. I don't, you know what I'm saying? I'm a Steve Harvey fan, but I didn't read none of his books about how to date or none of that shit. I don't want to hear, like, I don't care what anybody else has to say because you don't know what this person's like and they don't know what I'm like. You don't know what I can tolerate. You don't know what she can tolerate. You don't know what triggers me. You don't know what triggers her. You know what I'm saying? I'm the type of person where I don't like noise. I don't like a lot of visitors. So my woman, she gonna have to be like me. She gonna have to be a woman who don't like people coming over. She can't be a woman who on the phone gossiping all the time, 'cause I don't wanna hear that shit. You know, it's just—

So what's the definition of, 'cause you know, a lot of men say, I want peace. What's your definition of peace?

Peace is when both of y'all are happy. 'Cause both of y'all have to be happy to have peace. 'Cause if she ain't happy, you ain't gonna have no peace. If I ain't happy, you damn sure ain't gonna have no peace. So you gotta come in the middle of it. So like compromise.

How do you do that?

Peace is, you just first you gotta have a partner to find out what's gonna be peaceful for that partner and you at the same time. I can't speak on what it is now, because I don't have a partner. I'm single out here. Well, yeah, I'm single out here.

You're heartbroken out here.

I'm damaged.

You're damaged. Yeah, we all are. That's nothing wrong with that.

But I'm not miserable though.

Well, I feel like a heartbreak doesn't necessarily mean you're miserable.

No, but people become miserable even after a heartbreak, or while they're single. Miserable. Yeah, because miserable people are the ones who are out there giving unsolicited opinions and advice about relationships. That nobody even asked them about because they ain't got nobody and they shitting at work. They don't even want to see you happy.

Yeah, no, I for sure, I think it's— I don't really understand this whole like relationship expert thing.

Yeah, there's no relationship expert. A lot of relationship experts don't even have nobody, or the person they do have happy somewhere else, not with them.

Fact. So I got 10 points from ChatGPT. Okay, from this book. So she said, because I said, okay, like, what are the main things? Why do men love bitches? What is it that they love about bitches? Or what is a bitch like in your definition?

Yeah.

So it says the first thing is self-respect is attractive. Men respect women who respect themselves.

Yeah, um, that is fact, but At the same time, men like women who got a little freak in them too. Fact.

Little hoe.

Yeah, little hoe.

Sprinkle it in there.

Freaking the sheets. Yes.

Okay.

Yeah, that's for sure.

For sure. For sure. Oh, you saying it like with conviction here.

Yeah, I want you to be able to lose that respect when it comes down to sex. Just, just, I need you to be a filthy hoe.

No God involved?

Because I'm one. I don't have too many limits.

Really?

Really. I'm a Scorpio.

So Mandy was talking about this one experience where she was pegging a man.

Nah, I ain't talking about that now. I ain't talking about that. I'm talking about when it comes to pleasing my woman, I don't have—

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He said I have no limits. I'm like, okay, let's see where it wants to go.

I'm talking about when I'm— because I'm a pleaser. I get off by pleasing.

Okay, all right, I love that. That's amazing.

Because I can pull up and do her and go home. I just like to— I get off. All right, that's what's next because I'm about to take this shit somewhere else.

Take it, take it.

Because I'm like I said, I'm a pleaser. So I just— that gets me off. I love that shit.

But how do you know if she's faking it?

Oh, I know.

How?

I know.

How?

Because you can only fake it so much, but I know what I'm doing.

Okay, okay. Because I feel like girls can fake it to the point where men are like, oh, you like that? And it's like, oh my God, I'm just—

I can tell when somebody bullshit. Yeah, yeah.

Because it's a lot of like, can't blow smoke up my ass.

I can tell when somebody bullshit.

You just be like, bullshit.

Yeah, I just, no, I just be like, I can tell like if I ain't feeling, because you can tell when a woman really into it. Like if she ain't, one of the first things when a woman is really into it or when anybody is really into it, because when I'm into it, when somebody, you know what I'm saying? When she doing me, I touch, like, you know what I'm saying? You, your hands, either you gonna start touching the, What's the bed, the sofa, or you going to start rubbing her? You know what I'm saying? Shit like that. If she don't start touching me, or if she ain't moving, or, or some shit like that, then I'm okay.

You don't like no dead fish? It's like, I don't know, I don't know if men like that at all. I just—

sex toys has kind of made it difficult because I, I, I lick the Oh, you said you licked—

what?

I went down on a woman for 38 minutes one night.

38 minutes?

And she didn't moan, move, or grunt.

What the fuck was she on? Is she Rose? But that shit's not even that good. See, that whole— I don't understand this whole thing about this toy shit. Like, that Rose shit, I don't want nothing plastic touching me. 38? Did you like— was it on your Apple Watch or how'd you know 38 minutes?

Well, I felt like it was 38 minutes, but it was— I know it was longer than I've ever had to for anybody else.

And she did not even come once?

She did, but after you— like, goddamn, she was enjoying it, but it was just like she—

did she ask you to bring the rose in there?

Mm-mm. No, I'm saying that's what she normally been using. It had been a minute since she actually had a man and it was kind of hard to transition back to somebody else pleasing her versus her pleasing herself with those toys.

You see how fucked up this has become, this whole dating experience, that women so-called preserve themselves to where they don't have sex for a very long time because they don't want to— obviously, you know, if they don't connect with somebody, they don't want to have sex.

They want to accumulate bodies, and I understand it.

And because if you do accumulate bodies, now you're a whore or hoe, whatever, right? So now, now you have a label on you on top of it. So it's kind of like catch-22 because you do, right, need to have sex. You do want to please yourself, but you can't because you ain't got nobody. And now you gotta go to Rose, and then it's 38 minutes and you're like, what the fuck? Like, I'm tired.

Just stop giving a fuck and don't fuck the same amount of— don't, don't fuck a lot of men in the same area. That's, that's when it's gonna matter. Like, if you're a woman in Atlanta, if you gonna fuck in East Point, just about 2 niggas in East Point, that's it. And then, you know, or you can go on to the city of Atlanta, and Atlanta you might get you about 5, 5 or 7.

I think 5 is too close to home because it's like it's a one-hand shake.

But Atlanta is, is you— I'm talking about, I ain't talking about just this, you know, yeah, southwest side of Atlanta. I'm talking about Buckhead and, you know, Sandy Springs, all of that. You know, you can get you one up that area, you know. You know, just space it out and then, you know, you can get you one in Lawrenceville, you know. Yeah, you get you one in Atworth, you know what I'm saying? Just, yeah, just don't do it. Don't have all of them right now. You don't want to fuck around and walk inside American Dillard and see one and then leave there and be in Target and see another one. Oh shit, let me leave.

Let me go.

First date is not—

well, yeah, I guess, I guess that's That's what it is, because I remember, you know, I, I like athletes, and you know, when I was talking about— maybe it was especially people who are actively in the NBA, they all know each other. It don't matter if they're a trainer or on the team or whatever the fuck. Everybody knows each other. It's like 500 people in the league, and it's like, this is way too fucking close to home.

This is like the entertainment industry though.

Oh my, same. Yeah, entertainment is one person. It was one of those big theaters that was sold out. You got to, you got to be careful, cuz now it's like, fuck, it's either you just go on a tour where you were just like, and you see all the switching my type, you know, got to find me a white boy now.

If you want to be married, you got to, you, you definitely got to, got to play it safe, because when, because when men find out that Somebody they know or somebody just as popular as them or on the same level as them has had it. Most unknown people are the funniest right now.

What if it's like, what if you find out that the girl that you really like, she's fucked somebody who is, you know, got more followers than you, got more money than you. How you gonna feel about that?

I wouldn't give a fuck. It's like, I'm sure she hadn't fucked anybody as popular as I am. No, but through the course of what we got going on, because I know her, I'm pretty sure she done fucked somebody more money than me because—

okay, but not in the same, like, in the same industry.

No.

What if she like, I don't know, fucked, I don't know, Chris Rock? Like, nope. You making his face right now.

I don't, I, I know her. Uh, okay, now I ain't saying she won't fuck It just, it wouldn't be him.

Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay.

She got, man, I don't know. Cause people say I look a little bit like Chris Rock. She probably don't do nothing. Let me call this bitch.

Call her. Be like, would you fuck Chris Rock?

But nah, I ain't gonna, I'm just, all jokes aside, I'm not gonna say what nobody will or won't do.

Mm-hmm.

Cause I don't want nobody to say what I will or won't do. Cause I don't know. I know things that I won't do, but I never say never on certain things. Certain things I just know I just— I'm never gonna do, right?

But I mean, there's certain things that I'm like, yeah, I ain't— this is not happening, right?

But like, yeah, I'm not a cheater though, if that's— if, you know, I won't cheat because I don't get in a relationship unless that's everything I need and want.

Do you guys now see that comedians are very intelligent? I feel like maybe because I've been around the whole crew for a little bit, it really changed my definition of man. Like, the moment I've been around especially like 85 South crew, I'm like, damn, we different though. You guys are different. And I remember I was there for either they were reading a script of a movie or something. And just to watch men, because usually, you know, you think like they're going to have a bunch of bitches out there, like, you know, a bunch of hoes, whatever, like a bunch of women in there. And it's just, you know, they're going to take somebody home. It's like you come in and it's like people are working. Like they're working.

Oh yeah, you got to be careful with that. Because when you worked as hard as we have and come from where we come from, the last thing you want to do is to risk that shit and lose it all because Of a girl? Yeah.

Yeah.

'Cause you never know. You got a lot of women hang around just, you know, to see. So I very seldomly let women go back to the room with me after the show. Now if I've been to that city before and kind of developed a friendship or something with somebody or whatever before, we cool or whatever and I kind of know you, that's different.

But I'm definitely not fast to just, Cuz, you know, I've been around athletes and I've seen athletes, you know, I have friends who are athletes who've been in the leagues or whatever, and it's a— I mean, what I've seen with comedians, with the crowd that I've been around, is the— it's totally opposite.

Yeah.

Even just, you know, behind the scenes, cuz like sometimes I'd be, I'd be around people, you know, we all working, we all networking, I'd be around certain environments and I'm like, that is the complete opposite of what I've experienced before in my life. You know, especially like if it's somewhere like hotels, like the NBA players, they're going to have at least 5 bitches in those hotels. Like they're going to pack that room up with girls, whether they pay for them or what. I don't know what the fuck they do, but like it's packed. And so here it's like seeing men work and interact with women is a complete— but comedians are the ones that talk about bitches, hoes, and you know, whores and all of that, right?

But it also depends on the comedian too now, because some comedians, they do party like that. But it's some of them who, you know, if they ain't got shit to lose, they move different. People who with shit to lose move different. You know what I'm saying? And with 8to5, you got, you know what I'm saying, fathers over there.

Right.

You know what I'm saying? You got, Lo's got his kid, his son. You know, Chico got his daughter. Fly got his kids. And then they still have, it's a business at the end of the day. You know what I'm saying? And it's other people who are eating off of them. So it's a bit, you know, and then you gotta think about a lot of us had a lot of fun before we got to this because comedians, we didn't have to just stick to this schedule or this written, nothing, because we didn't go to school and stuff like that. We not training workouts and stuff like this. We lived life and we just so happened to become a comedian.

Yeah.

So, you know, like I told you, before I became a comedian, I sold drugs. I sold crack. So I did a lot of shit.

Right.

That these people doing now. I've had the room full of hoes. I've had the, you know what I'm saying, the sections and the going out to partying and stuff like that. I've had that. I don't wanna do it now. I'm a grown-ass man. I want me a woman with 2, 3 kids, or how many ever we can have. I want me a house, a few cars, and I want to be able to take care of my family and my friends. I don't— all that other shit, I don't want it. I'm cool on it.

I love that. And that's— I remember after that, that meeting, I called Chico because Chico was supposed to come on my show, and I was like, Chico, I just want to say thank you because I really, you know, when you be in that industry in a fast life, you really get your mind clouded with a lot of like, oh, men cheat, or men just want a bunch of bitches, or this and that. And it really redefined this whole idea. I was like, I was mind blown. I was sitting there, that was the only thing that I could think about. And I also said, I was like, you know, it's funny because I never paid attention to men who are under 6'2". Yeah, because I'm tall. So like, I've always kind of overlooked those men, you know, I just don't see them because they're not in my view.

Right, right.

And I said, it's just, there's something about short men. Like, I just, I love it. Not that they're— they're amazing. They're amazing. Those are my people. I love them. Okay, so number 2 is boundaries create respect. Saying no doesn't make you difficult.

I don't know how to say no.

Really?

I don't.

Even if you want to say no?

I want to say no every fucking time.

Why not?

It'd be like, because You try—

you try not to hurt their feelings?

That's one, but you're a comedian, you hurt people's feelings for a living. I don't.

You don't hurt their feelings?

I don't. I try not to. That 600-lb Life don't count.

Okay.

But no, I'm really a soft, nice person.

Okay.

Um, I'm very, very giving, and I grew up, you know what I'm saying, watching my parents give. Like, it was several times my dad would drive home in his socks and underwear because he's giving his clothes off his back to somebody on the street.

Damn. Yeah.

So, um, like, I'm very, very giving, and people who know me, they know that. But givers have to have a limit because takers don't.

Facts. I'm the same way. I, I'm just, I'm very nice. Like, I give so much. And, but, but I think a lot of times, like, if we go back to relationships, they don't work out because there's going to be a time when I'm going to ask for something, and most likely you're not going to give it to me. Yes, because I'm— but I'm also not going to get nothing that I'm asking for, right? Because I've been conditioning you to just take, take, take, take, take, take, take, and now I'm asking for one small thing, and, and that's what breaks my heart. And that's what literally broke my heart. I asked for one little thing. I didn't ask for money. I didn't ask for— I just asked for just the conversation.

Yeah. It's trust, honesty, and it's—

and it's—

it's make me feel wanted. If you want me, if you don't, get the fuck on.

I know. And then it was— the conversation was like, I don't see— yeah. And I don't know if that was an honest response or if it was just a trauma response, deflection, whatever the fuck it was.

A lot of times it's not that they don't want you, they don't want what you want.

I don't— I can't tell. I haven't spoken to that person. We haven't discussed nothing. I just— you said I'm gonna let you go. I said, okay.

See, a lot of people, not— no matter how old they are, they're just not ready for certain things.

Because, yeah, and that's fine. It's okay. It's just, we just not aligning with that. So it's like, I ain't got, I ain't got no, it hurt my feelings. Mm-hmm. But like, it's not gonna change what I think of you, or like, I'm still gonna have a lot of respect for you. You know, it's all love, but it's just, I don't want that. I can't do that. I can't. I am, because it got to the point where I'm depleted. I have no energy. I have no resource.

Exactly.

And I'm asking for one little thing so you can feed that energy back to me, whatever I've been feeding you. And that's too much.

Yeah, you have to just let a motherfucker go.

Yeah, that's, uh, I did. So don't make a man your whole world. Keep your own life goals, friends, and interests.

That's— that goes for anybody. Don't make nobody your whole world because what if they, you know, once you do that— I would never do that again, do that again. I would never make a woman Yeah. I would never let another woman know just how much I love her. Like, you gonna know I love you, but you ain't gonna know just how much. You're not going to know that you are everything that I've ever wanted. You're not gonna, I never tell a woman again that you are the first thought I have when I wake up and the last when I go to bed. You would never know about women. Yeah, fuck yeah. The one—

this—

fuck yeah.

What do you do when that happens?

I would ever—

I would— did you like text her whenever you would wake up, or like how, how was it when you were doing that?

I wrote this girl a 16-page letter before.

You're a lover.

I am. What?

That's amazing.

I love those kind of people. I'm a, I'm a, I'm a lover. Um, But it's just I give my love to the wrong people.

I mean, it could be, it's just the wrong time. But there's nothing wrong with loving or feeling.

It's not, so I'm just careful who I love. So right now I love comedy, I love working.

Okay. So that's your whole world.

Yeah, I date now, you know, it's, I talk to a few women here and there or whatever, it's nothing serious. I'm even thinking about going celibate, to be honest.

I heard that for men. I heard it works.

It'll work for me because I don't need to be distracted, and I've been very distracted lately. I need to focus.

Yeah, it's because wherever energy— wherever attention goes, energy flows. So what you do, where you put your attention to, that's, you know, if you want to maximize on your money Gotta lock in.

And when I'm sexually frustrated, I'm funny as a motherfucker.

Oh, really? Ooh.

I'm hilarious.

So what, are you sexually full right now?

No, I'm very relaxed right now.

Okay, so. But once you go sexually, once you go celibate, you're gonna be sexually frustrated.

Oh, pop goes the weasel.

So then that's what we're gonna have, the State Farm sold out. Yeah, speak it into existence.

Yeah, one day. Um, Atlanta just not one of those cities that has really gravitated to me like that. Um, I get more love in other cities.

Not yet.

Not yet. It's happening because I ain't going nowhere. I fucking love Atlanta.

I love Atlanta too.

Atlanta is just— oh my God, how do you know?

I don't know how people don't love Atlanta, man.

They do. That's right. That's why it's crowded.

No, but you know how they say they do love it or they live here, but they say, oh, I want to get the fuck out of here. I hate it. You know, men are this, women are this.

Because they're here for the wrong thing.

Exactly.

But I feel like you come here for the right thing, then everything else is pure extra.

I'm here for mine.

I'm here to excel. Yeah. So the women and the other shit, that is just pure extra. The women and the nightlife. I don't even party. So the women and the restaurants and malls or whatever else go on here is pure extra. As long as I can make me some money.

I don't like going to malls. Who goes to malls? It's like, to me, it's like I'm not fucking 12 years old to go to a mall. I do though. You do? I can't stand—

because I'm a fragrance head.

Okay, well, that's a different story. Fragrance, I can do that. I can go to Neiman Marcus.

That's the only place I'm only going to. Neiman's and Saks. Sometimes Nordstrom. I go to Nordstrom.

But other than that, That's the only place I would go if I have to go to the Apple Store.

Yeah.

And if I have to go to Neiman Marcus.

And that's Monday through Wednesday. Thursday through Sunday, I'm not going.

I'm not going during the weekend. Fuck, you're not gonna find me at the mall. For what? Hell no.

I don't give a damn if they got a 75% sale off.

No, you can get—

I'm gonna send another motherfucker now, but I ain't going.

No, I'm not going either. Okay, so number 4 is stop overgiving to earn love. Love shouldn't have to be earned through sacrifice.

Ifies.

A lot of women do that, and that's when we get hurt because we give so much because we feel like we have to earn it.

Well, what about the women who always yelling, apply pressure, or you gotta do this, or you gotta do that? Cause y'all feel like y'all have to earn it. We feel like we have to buy it. Fact.

Fact. Yeah.

That's why I'm in the shape I'm in now. Like, I don't, I'm not a, I don't really trust if you really fuck with me for me. Because I've had, you know, through the course of 9 years, of course me and her have fucked with other people. And I have let women come in and, After they see that I'm who I am, they— because they think the shit I put on the internet is a joke. That's really me, but I'm more chill. Yeah, you know, I put the videos out and they see, or they laugh at it because of— they see how impatient I am and it's funny on video, but when you live with me You see how impatient I am.

You like, yeah, it's just the— when the reality hits, it's, it's, it's, it's tough, especially when you live with somebody.

But I've already developed feelings for you now, and you don't fuck with me because of something minor to me, you know what I'm saying? Because I'm a neat freak, or, uh, because I don't like to sleep with the TV on, or because Whatever, it's always some minor shit and it's always something minor.

Is it? But so that those are minor things, but what's the major thing for you in a relationship? You mean as a deal breaker or like what's something that's going to make you feel like, okay, I don't feel like this person's actually fucking with me? Cuz you know, having a TV on when you sleep, that's, that's some like, that's just the, that's irrelevant shit. But, um, but there's certain things that are going to be like, okay, this is actually ignoring what what bothers me. Okay.

That just blatantly show me you don't give a fuck. Like FaceTime. Mm-hmm. That's a deal breaker for me when dating. 'Cause I let you know up front, I fucking hate FaceTime.

Okay.

So if you keep bothering me about that shit and I done told you I don't like FaceTime, you're telling me right now you don't give a fuck how I feel about something. And it don't take me months and years for you to show me that. I see that right now with just this little FaceTime thing. I don't need you to show me when I'm laying down sick or comedy shows ain't picking up and I'm on my dick, which is not gonna happen, but I'm just saying it could happen. I don't need you to show me you don't give a fuck about me on a larger scale. That little minor thing, which you showing me you don't give a fuck, that I don't like FaceTime, that you wanna FaceTime because that's what you care about, that's enough for me.

Why do they wanna FaceTime?

I don't know, I hate FaceTime with a passion. I gotta disable my damn phone.

Oh really?

Yep. My niece and nephew have to text me to let me know they want to FaceTime because they're the only people can FaceTime me. I fucking hate it.

I don't like to FaceTime because if you— I mean, if you're dating somebody, you can just be in person. You don't have to be on—

yeah, I don't want to FaceTime.

Yeah, I don't need to FaceTime.

If you need to talk to me, send me a text or call me.

Call me.

And that's it. Yeah, I'm more of a person. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? That's why I can't do distance.

But what if like— so do you, when you date somebody, do you talk to them on a daily basis? Do you feel like you have to connect to them?

But Like, all right, after a while, we don't have to talk all fucking day.

No, no, no, not all fucking day. Hell no. Just like, so, okay, everything good?

We gonna talk every day. Yeah. We gonna talk every day, but I don't like the women who feel like, oh, we gotta be on the phone the whole day while you at work. No. While I'm trying to move around. You listening to what I'm doing while I'm in Target, what I'm doing at the drive-through window. I'm sitting at home. We don't have nothing to talk about. You just, you hear what's going on in my background. I hear what's going on in your background. Women today like to do that shit. I'm not doing it.

No, because it's like, I want to— when we get together, we have to have something to talk about.

Exactly.

And so I don't need to be on the phone with you all day long. Also, like, I listen, I got shit to do. We can text like here and there sometimes.

Appreciate it.

I also don't really, you know, this whole thing, like, I know some people make it a big deal saying good morning, good night.

I hate it.

I—

good morning to me.

Yeah, I, I mean, I want a good morning when we're waking up together. Like, man, good morning sex, that would be great.

Yeah, don't text me good morning. That good morning, I hope you have a good day, you just fucked it up. Don't text me that shit because you're not gonna do it forever.

What if she's gonna say grand rising?

Oh, I leave it on read. My read receipts are on. I don't like for people to introduce me to a vibe that they're not gonna keep up with 'cause I'm not gonna do you like that. I'm not gonna text you good morning when we first start talking because I'm not gonna sing that good morning beautiful, oh, I hope you have a good day, because—

Now you expect that every single day.

2 or 3 weeks from now, I promise you I'm not gonna keep doing that shit.

At least you're honest about that.

Yeah, so I'm not gonna do it. Now later on that day, after I've gotten up and smoked my blunt and ate me some grits or something, I might text her and say, hey, what's up, how you doing, how your day going? Oh, okay, cool, I hope the rest of your day good, you know what I'm saying? Hit me up when you get off, or hit me up when you chill. That's it. And we can talk an hour or two at the end of the night or end of the day or whatever. And that's it. But I don't, that all day shit, no.

No, all day is ridiculous. This whole good morning thing. I remember my therapist told me a story. She said when she started dating her husband, it was very important for her to hear the good morning things. And she asked him to do so. And she was like, I just wanted it. And she said it lasted, she said 2 months in, I told him, hey, you can stop. Cause like I've had enough of it. Now it doesn't do shit to me because now you're doing it consistently. Now you show me you can do it. So she was like, enough is enough. I'm, I'm over it. Like, you don't have to do it because she's controlling. Not controlling because I think she needed that. But she was like, there is, there's certain things that we need in life and the moment we get full, we don't need them anymore.

Right.

It's like, I feel like with men, the reason why I think the books like this exist is because when we meet men, it's always butterflies as the full honeymoon stage. But then people get complacent because now they're comfortable that you're around, right? And so they think that they don't have to talk to you. They think that they don't have to connect. But like, you are still in that honeymoon stage, right? They are already complacent. They don't really see that— nothing for them. This is already normal, right? And so men switch up their patterns, and that's their problem, right? Because they start off with shit that they don't do. Women do too. Yeah, so it's, it's, it goes both ways. But I'm just saying in my experience, I, I date men, so I don't really know what women do, but I know what men do. They, they, they, they switch up their pattern. And it's like, dude, if you knew you were not going to keep up with that pattern, you could have just let me know.

Exactly. So that's what I'm saying. With her requiring him to send those, she should still feel some type of way because at the end of the day, it's not genuine. I want it genuine. If you don't think enough to send me a good morning text, fuck it, I don't want it. If you don't want to be around me, fuck it, I don't want you to be around me. I don't want you around me because you feel like you doing me a favor. I don't want you around me because you need something. I want you around me because you want to be around me.

Yeah.

Or you can stay the fuck away because I just— I'm what you see is what you get, right? That's it. I don't know how to be shit else. So I don't know how to pretend in front of you that I like you. I don't know how to use a motherfucker because I've always got what I wanted on my own. I don't know how to butter you up.

Yeah, to you, you don't need to do that.

Oh, I love you. No, no, I do none of that fake shit. If I don't fuck with you, I don't fuck with you. If I don't want to be around you, I'm not going to be around you, right?

That's fair. I mean, I think that's fair. That's how— that's, that's something that I appreciate always about people, honesty. Like, you know, I've always said that if you don't want to talk to me for 3 days, just tell me. I don't want to talk to you for 3 days. Fuck it, don't talk. Now I know we're not talking for 3 days. Fourth day, I can call you and we can talk. If you want to talk, we'll talk. If you don't want to talk, you don't fucking want to talk.

Cuz I need some days. Sometime I need to thaw out. For a little while. I need to.

Do you tell people that like, hey, I need to fuck off for a little bit?

I think it'd be nicer for them just to get the hint.

Yeah. Hmm.

Because I, you know, I, my phone stay on do not disturb, but there are people who I have in my favorites who can come in just no matter what.

Yeah.

So I think if they ever call and see that it's on do not disturb, then they know, all right, yeah, he didn't want it, you know. He needs to—

he needs a space.

He got a reboot.

I mean, we all need that. I think it's normal because it's like we're constantly on.

But a lot of people don't think that we have to, because if you're— if you're that person that's always making other people feel better, always rescuing people, they forget that you need to be—

so All right, well, the number 5 is watch actions, not words. Consistency, consistency matters more than promises.

Of course.

I believe in words.

Well, I tell a person quick, show me, don't tell me. I don't, I don't believe shit nobody say. I don't believe shit, shit happen.

It's this whole thing that I always say, don't fucking tell me you're gonna text me or call me if you're not gonna do it. Just don't, don't have those words come out.

Don't tell me nothing.

Just exactly.

If you tell me that you are coming by my house tomorrow and you don't come and you don't call and tell me you didn't come, we got a fucking problem.

We do.

Like, that's how I was raised. Like, right, my daddy raised me to do what the fuck you say you're gonna do. Keep your word. I don't care how minimum it is to you. If— okay, I told you I was gonna be here at 2:30. When I saw I wasn't gonna be here dead at 2:30, did I text you?

You did, yes.

That's important to me. You didn't give a fuck. You told me, well, you good, take your time. Yeah, but it was important to me to let you know I'm not gonna be here.

No, I do give a fuck because to me it's important that, like, I want you to be comfortable too, so I don't want you to stress, right? Because I know how I'm the same way, you know. If I'm running 3 minutes late, I'm literally gonna let people know how I'm 3 minutes late. I understand that it might not be crucial But to me, it's important to be on time. So it's my job to communicate those things because we're adults. This is, you know, we're dealing with— it's our time. Time is money.

Exactly.

We can't just sit here and, you know, keep promises that we're not going to deliver.

A lot of women I date, they don't get why that's an issue for me. They feel like, oh, you're becoming too clingy, or you're controlling. I'm not controlling you. Told me you were gonna do something. So you don't know that I've cleared my day for you or I've made it, you know, made some type of reservations or made it happen to do what you said we were gonna do. So now that we didn't do that and you didn't even think enough to let me know, hey, I don't give a fuck if you call and tell me your grandma having a baby. Just fucking call and tell me you're not coming. Because you don't know what sacrifices I've made to be with you or to hang with you or to help you.

And another thing, when women take 5 hours to get ready— girls start getting ready 5 hours prior to the date because I can't talk about that though. Why?

I'll take a minute.

But, but you know the time that— okay, if you have to take 5 hours, do you start getting ready 5 hours prior? Because a lot of women start taking They start getting ready like the—

Yeah, like when I thought I was gonna have to be here at 2 o'clock initially before you told me 2:30. Yeah. So I was starting to get ready at 11:30, 12 o'clock. And then when you hit me, I was like, oh well, I'm gonna go and grab something to eat and then I'm gonna do that. And then I fucked around and got on the— in an area where they was— they got the road, you know, working on the roads. That's what made me be late. But had I had to be here at 2 o'clock, oh, I would have Definitely been on time.

What do you need 2 hours for?

Well, I have to decide what cologne I'm gonna wear first.

What did you wear today?

Today I have on 2 different colognes. I have on Maybelline, uh, Passion Island, and I have on, uh, Boticier Victoria's 1907.

I need to smell you, I'm sure, because I need to know what it smells like.

Really?

I love perfumes.

I am a fragrance head.

Yeah, I love perfumes.

Yes, I am a fragrance head.

So what's your favorite brand?

I don't really have one. Right now my favorite brand is Matier Premier.

Oh, I think I know what it is. Okay.

You know, they have, I don't know if you ever seen it, but they have like falcon leather, crystal saffron. What else they got? They have so many and I know the top of my head. I just have a lot of them, but they're my favorite right now. Yeah. Mind Games is another one.

Oh my God. I just, you know what I have on today? I have the Uh, it starts with a J. Yes, that's one of my favorites.

That's my top favorite.

That's— oh my God, you know who showed that perfume to me?

Who?

Carlos.

Carlos, I knew it.

He has like 15 bottles of that perfume because he talked to me about that.

Me and Los, me and Los, and well, all of me, Los, Chico, and Fly, we all love fragrances, but I'm the fragrance head.

Yeah, because I— so Mind Games, I found the first Mind Games I had was Caíssa. That was the first one that I had. That was like my favorite, and it's always blown my people's minds because they they don't understand what it smells like.

Try Queening.

And I have Queening too.

Oh, okay.

I have Queening. You say, and then that—

where do you get yours from?

Neiman's.

I'm about to show you where to get them from.

Okay.

Yeah, cuz I know a seller.

Okay.

Cuz you going to Neiman's, you paying $4.25 a bottle.

Shit. It's— listen, I've always said—

well, you still going to pay $3.75 for the bottles that I know about, but that's fine.

That's still $100 cheaper because I've always said If somebody were to break into my house, the most expensive thing they can steal is my fragrances.

Yes, my guns and my fragrances.

I don't have no guns, but it's gonna be my fragrance. It's not even the bags, it's just the amount of perfume that— and I like nice expensive.

We should do some fragrance videos or some shit.

Let's do it.

I'm serious.

Yeah, I'm down.

Don't blow no smoke in my ass, Mama. And you hear that?

No, I don't, I don't. I'm— listen, I, I work, so like whatever you want to do, just let me know.

We should do some fragrance reviews or something on YouTube or something.

You probably have a bigger collection than me.

I have a nice collection, but it's not as—

I stopped spending a lot of money when, you know, you have your own business. Yeah, you got to be very, very mindful of the amount of money, cuz before I used to go to Louis Vuitton and just like, man, I had so many.

They are so overrated though.

I love Louis Vuitton.

Their fragrances are nice, but they're overpriced.

But you know the story about the fragrance, how the guy was just like, his job was just to go around the garden and smell, and he found this one distinct— because you can tell it's Louis Vuitton from afar. Any, any Louis Vuitton, you can tell because it has this one note in there. And it was a guy who they hired, I think he was with Dior before. He literally went around the garden for 2 years and he found that one note that they put into every single perfume.

Well, you know, Dior uses a lot of different, uh, perfumers also because they use Francis Kurkdjian for the last line. You know, the guy who does Baccarat. Yeah. And you know, he used to do, he used to make fragrance with Jean Paul Gaultier.

Yeah, but I don't, I don't. So those, the Jean Paul Gaultier, the Chanel's, I don't like that. I like the exclusive stuff.

You like niche.

I like the niche stuff. I like the stuff that doesn't smell like everybody. I don't like the YSL shit. Also, it's the oil concentration.

Yeah. You know, you like extrait and parfums.

Uh, perfumes.

Parfums. Parfums has more oil.

Yes.

Extrait have even more oil.

I— well, no, because perfumes, I think— well, it depends, depends, you know, it depends. So everyone's skin is different, right? So the way that it opens up is different. So like there's some perfumes— the reason why I fuck with Louis Vuitton, because it really stays. Mine—

yeah, no, it has a—

but like, uh, what is it, the Byredo does not stay at all.

Byredo is definitely not a good note.

No, it's like, it's just gone like in 2 seconds.

That's why they've come out with a straight version. Yeah, the one, the clear bottle with the white writing and the black top, that's just like, you can spray that on and by the time you get to the parking lot, it's gone.

Yeah, and then, um, Diptyque too, same thing, like, or, uh, Lilabo, that shit is so expensive, you walk out like you don't smell like it. Yeah, but when you get, but you know, when you get samples they have more oil concentration. So samples—

they want you to come back and buy it. Yeah, I'm not a fool. I know exactly. So I'm— we're gonna— we're gonna go shopping. We gotta do that because we like to just change the whole fucking show topic about that, right?

Right.

I love fragrances.

I love good— and it's funny because there's so much weed in the trap that I'm like, you can't even smell shit, but still, we all love perfumes.

Yeah, you can smell mine though.

Okay.

'Cause I come in with it.

Oh, I love when it's like a little trail, you know, afterwards. Like you can—

You gotta know how to spray it. You gotta know how to wear it. You gotta know what to wear. 'Cause I don't like that cheap shit either.

I don't like it. Oh no, I can't. If I smell some like, you know, Victoria's Secret spray on some girl, stay away. Do not get in my car. I can't do that. The whole body spray shit.

I don't even like the smell of alcohol in it.

Ugh. Yeah, or like if you go to Zara, they have that perfume at the checkout now.

I hate that shit.

Remove that shit from the checkout because it smells— Like, I literally— my nose is so sensitive to it. I can't do that. Even when I was a kid, I never had those little cheap shit.

I don't like this shit.

No, never. Like, I remember my first perfume was Miss Dior, like one of the little ones. That, that's— that's— or like Prada Candy. That was something that I really liked because, you know, back then we didn't have the money. So it's like, if you have one perfume and it's expensive, Prada Candy, like, what? Now it's like, nope.

My first two were Hugo Boss and Sean John Unforgivable.

Hugo Boss. Okay, all right, you know your shit.

I'm a very— my daddy put me on those, and then I just exceeded, just excel.

Yeah, like once you get into it, it's like now you kind of like— it's like you are in the society. Yeah, they can't exit you out of because it's like, not my game is different now, you know. Don't come at me with like, oh, do you have a perfume? Like, well, I mean, you got to pair it up, you know, like it's Certain things that you got to do. I never liked rose before until I smelled the, the, the Louis Vuitton, like the, um, the rose but the dark bottle, the one that's like $500-something.

Symphony. Symphony, I think, is it got like the little— yeah, like the little Rolls-Royce bird on the cap.

The fucking $700 bottle. Yeah, that one.

Oh, now the only thing about those, it's super hard to find somebody who can sell Louis Vuitton outside of Louis Vuitton because they are exclusively Louis Vuitton. Now when I find people with those bottles, I'd be like, I'd be kind of skeptical. Yeah, you don't know if it's real or not because I know how to tell real fragrances.

Well, yeah, I feel like it's the— just something smells like alcohol when it's not.

I know the bottle also. I'm deep in this shit.

Okay, all right, we discovered something different.

Okay, atomizer and everything. Get this shit out the way.

Okay, wait, let's finish this list. We have a couple more points. People value what they invest in. Effort increases appreciation.

For sure, for sure. Yeah, they value what they— yeah, of course. Just like people, they are proud of what they post on social media.

I think that that's what she meant by like men like to invest in the women as far as like the effort. So like you got to make men work for it.

One or two reasons: if they believe in her or they want to make her a trophy. Huh. Like, I would invest in a woman if I believe in her. I don't want to invest in her to make her my trophy.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm not—

I never really felt like that.

I'm not going to pay for you to go and get all this fucking surgery, all this plastic surgery, just to make you look like my trophy wife. Now, if you give me 2, 3 kids and you feel like you want a mama makeover, okay, cool. That's what you want to do. You've given me kids. I will give you whatever the fuck you want. You can get a push present, Makeover, all of that. Fuck yeah.

Oh, that's so cute.

But I'm not just because you feel like, uh, Tiffany has a nose, I want to get one. I don't give a fuck. We'll go over there and fuck who Tiffany fucking then. I don't care about that. I like your nose. I didn't have a problem with your nose when we got together, right?

No, that's true. That's fact.

Just because you want a bigger ass. No, I don't want to. I hate BBLs.

No, you know, I mean, either I can't understand I'm not doing it.

I'm not. I'm not. If that's what's investing in you. No, no.

I think it's more like effort, like helping, you know, maybe if you have a dream or to do something or just, just effort as far as like going on dates or spending time with— because not all— I feel like especially for people like us, like time is important, you know? If we do invest our time, then you truly matter to me.

Yes.

I don't need you to go take me to fucking Turks and Caicos. I don't need you to take me to Chanel. Spend time with me.

We can ride through the city and listen to R&B.

Yeah, like, oh my God, let's be in the car. Let's like— I don't need you to go to restaurants. I don't want to be in a restaurant with nobody. I actually would much rather be at home with somebody.

Let's go pick the food up and then bring it back home because I don't like DoorDash.

That's— yeah, that's a whole different vibe.

I like—

to me, those human— I think like you start appreciating those little human things that are so basic and simple because I don't need to be dressed up looking like a fucking doll in a restaurant sitting, being nice to a waiter. And I'm always nice to waiters, but it's just like sometimes they don't do a good job and I don't want to tip you.

So yeah, it's, uh, definitely with that. I still leave a tip, but it depends because my tip is $20. My tip gonna be $20. Now you come bullshitting, we're gonna, we're gonna cut down because sometimes I leave you just what you— what, just what the receipt say I need to leave you. If you said I need to leave you $5.17, that's just what the fuck I'm gonna leave. But if you have been a great server, I'm gonna leave you $20.

Atlanta is not known for good service in general.

Depends on where you go. I don't go out much.

Yeah, I don't really go out much, but like yesterday we were on the BeltLine and we went to this restaurant.

Never been, and I've been in Atlanta 15 years.

Really? I actually never went for the first 3 years, and then last year I went for the first time. I really enjoy it. It's like, it's a different— I mean, you can tell why they invested a billion dollars into that. It's a different experience.

Invested how much?

They invested— it's a billion dollar project. Yeah, it's one of the biggest projects in the US, but it's worth it. I mean, like, what they've created is different. I've never seen anything of a kind.

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. I just had a girl today ask me if I was interested in going. I was like, no.

But go on a weekday when it's not the weekend where it's a lot of people. Like, we went on a Wednesday. It was beautiful.

Okay, well, I go on like— yeah, let's see, that's where it's— with this dating shit, I'm only available through the week, but the women that I date, they only available on the weekend, right?

Yeah, so you gotta navigate through life.

I'll be working on weekends.

I know, you got— you have your shows and you're traveling too, so yeah, yeah, that shit is not easy. Confidence beats neediness. Wanting someone is different from needing them.

Yeah, I like to be wanted. I don't want to be needed. When I feel like you need me, it's like, okay, you know, you're not here genuinely. I'm a bit—

but sometimes it's like, boyfriend, I need you. Like, you mean like I need your presence?

That's different.

I crave you.

That's still wanting. That's still a want. It's just a deep want.

Oh, but needing is like, you need to pay my bills.

Yeah.

Because that shit is ridiculous.

Yeah, I don't need you to need me. Don't need me at all.

I remember I said it to somebody, like, what if, you know, what if I got in trouble or something? And then this person was like, well, don't waste your call on me, call the police.

Like, yeah, don't need me. Don't need me.

Just want me.

Want me.

Desire me.

Yes. Have, you know, because, you know, a person who needs you may be an insatiable person. Yeah, you probably can't satisfy that motherfucker. But if they want you, that means whatever come with you.

See, I don't know, I haven't experienced that. I guess nobody wants me.

Oh, you just ain't found that person yet. No, you might be intimidating. You tall, you beautiful, you got your own shit going on.

That's what my mom said. She said, you got to understand that when you come in, because you've been so independent, yeah, it's hard for a man to even understand where does he fit in in your life because you can get everything done yourself. And so my—

and then when a man who's used to doing for women because he needs that to control them, he ain't gonna fuck with you because you don't need him, right?

Right. So, but I mean, like, you know, yeah, I got my own shit going, but it's not always going great, you know.

You got to find a man who is on the rise as well. He can't already be established, but he can't be sorry as fuck neither. Yeah, y'all gotta meet in the middle.

Yeah, depends. I don't know, it's just, it's a long process. I don't know.

So you might have to find you a man who might be a trainer in the NBA and not a player.

Hell the fuck no.

I— that's worse.

One time, and that shit— oh, listen, when I— I'm not gonna— I'm not gonna say what city it was, but I went to that city. I was actually supposed to be with him, but he just did some fuck shit. He didn't talk to me for 2, 3 days, and I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna go. I'm just gonna enjoy my time. And it was my first time going there. When I went out, you know, I used to be outside, so I know some people. And I called my, my, my, my guy in LA that I used to— like, we used to talk and He is like, he's like kind of like a DJ. So he knows a lot of people in the industry. And I call him, I said, hey, I'm in so-and-so city. I need you to plug me with somebody because I want to have fun. Like, now I want to be outside. I want to hit the streets. Bet. Say less. Group text. The next thing you know, I get on a yacht. I'm on a yacht. I'm like having fun. And then people from the yacht were like, oh, we're going to go to so-and-so place. Just go home, get ready, and then we'll meet you there. The, the people send the fucking security, send a car. So I go get in the car, the, the bodyguards take me to the restaurant. The moment I'm walking through the restaurant, I see the fucking trainer with like 4 girls. And then I'm just like, what the fuck? And then I ask some people, I'm like, oh yeah, he's a regular, like he's always out here with bitches.

And I'm like, so I'm one of them now?

He thinks he's one of the motherfuckers who's on the team because he's around them. And so that's like, because they're, you know, they're not on the team, but they think that they are like one of the, you know, of course. And I dated somebody who is, um, who's now like a coach. He used to be in the league and then he's a coach. And he told me, he said, I don't want to date you because of your podcast. Oh, well, he said, he said, you love your podcast more than— he said, you committed to the podcast more than you could commit to me. And I said, he's needy. Yeah. And I'm just like, what are you gonna— what you gonna do? What you gonna— you're gonna move me to your city, pay my— like, what? How is that gonna—

but you don't be happy.

I'm not gonna be happy. That's what I said. I'm not gonna be happy.

I can scratch off a billion dollar lottery and I still want to do comedy. I won't be happy.

But that's the same thing with me. It's not the money part, right? It's just I want to be in my purpose and something that I want to fulfill me. Yes, I want to feel alive. I don't want to be locked in the house, even if it's like a nice house. I don't give a fuck about that. You're gonna make me miserable.

You can give me every bag I ever wanted. You can let me go on all the shopping sprees. I don't want that shit.

No, no.

I would feel better getting that shit for myself by doing what I'm doing.

That's the part.

I'm like, a lot of men don't—

I like, I don't think you understand when that happened for the first time when I went and I bought my own bag. I felt so fulfilled when I go and buy my own flowers, even just like little things like that. I'm like, oh, this is the flower that I want. Like, it just looked at me. Spoke to me. I'm not gonna— I love flowers. I don't ever ask for gifts. I don't ask for shit. I like them.

I don't like people to buy me shit.

I don't ask for nobody.

Don't buy me nothing. Don't buy me shit. Because I feel like when people buy me shit, it's not genuine. Yeah, it's like a—

I would favor for them to get to know me and out of my conversations, what do you think I would want or like? Because that's how I usually If I talk to somebody or if I like am friends with somebody, based on the conversations that I'm having throughout this experience, that whatever, however long we've known each other, friends or guys that I'm talking to or whatever, I will figure out, okay, like you've mentioned those things a couple times, so that's what I'm gonna get you. Obviously it has to be within a reason because I can't buy your house, but like with it, it could be little things like maybe you want to go on a racetrack. Yeah, maybe you want to go, you know, have some experience, something. I would much rather give you those things than You know, something that's—

see, women just buy me fragrances. They are— that's—

yeah, but that's something you—

yeah, they just— because it's easy. They just— they know off rip, that's what he likes. They buy me fragrances. Some of them buy me books. Um, I had a girl buy me one of my favorite quotes a couple weeks ago. Uh, Mark Twain.

Okay.

Quote: The two most important days of your life are the day you were born, the day you find out why. That's my favorite quote.

That's amazing.

Wow.

Yeah.

And I had a girl, she bought me like, um, it actually lights up. It's real nice.

Um, but see, those things are meaningful.

Yeah, I appreciate it, but I didn't want her to buy it for me. Yeah, I mean, because like, I don't like people to buy— like, I feel weird when people buy me. I appreciate the fuck out of it.

Just receive it. You have to learn.

But I feel very weird because I'm a giver. I don't know how to receive shit.

You have to learn. You have to train yourself to receive it. That's just how it is. You have to learn. Like, it's something that you have to learn in your life because it's an exchange of energies. You have to give and you have to receive, but you have to learn. It's like when somebody was giving me a compliment before, I'd be like, the fuck? Like, no.

Now I'm like, oh yeah, please don't compliment me.

I receive it. Like, I had to learn the word I receive it or thank you.

I don't believe it because I don't even—

either. But it's like, you have to—

I told you I'm not a fan of myself.

So if you give me a compliment, I believe criticism before I believe Of course, because it's just now it's, it's different, like, because it's a different play with your ego. But you have to say, I receive it, just for the energy sake of, like, the exchange that's happening, you know, because you talk to God, you know, whatever God tells you, you receive it.

It's the same.

You have to. But that's the same thing with a compliment. Just receive it.

That's why I do comedy. It's an assignment from him.

Exactly. Okay, we have a couple more. Don't abandon yourself for a relationship. We already kind of said that. Loyalty does not mean tolerating bad behavior. You can love someone and still have standards.

That's true, but, but what? I've tolerated a little bit too much, and I, I can't say I won't in the future, cuz I love hard.

I'm the same way though.

Like, my standards go out the fucking door. Yeah, I just want to see the good, see the best, and just keep giving chances and hoping just, you know, you going to get this shit right. Just one day I, I'll matter to you what you matter to me.

Damn, but what about loving you?

I've never loved myself, so why start now?

I mean, maybe that's what's going to change the whole experience.

I'm good.

You want marriage, you want family, you want kids.

I don't have to love myself to have that, do I?

I think you do.

Like, I have to love other people.

Yes, you do. But at the same time, like, if you don't love yourself, if you don't know what you want, how you can expect somebody to, like, match your, your vibe, match your experience?

I know what I want.

Okay. I think, like, you don't have to be narcissistic with the love to yourself, but okay, well, I I receive it. Yeah, I think it's— there you go. See, see, see. I think it's just the way of— I don't know, I think you still have to have— because it is the form of love, like having a boundary or having a standard or something that you communicate. But I have a hard time communicating things that— especially when it comes down to relationships, it's hard for me to verbalize those things.

Not me. I'm very expressive. It's hard for me to shut the fuck up.

But I mean, like, if you want something but you know that that person might not want that, I can—

you'd be like, I just told you I wrote a girl a 16-page letter before.

That's amazing.

I can write, I can express myself, I can talk. So it's good. I've never had a problem expressing myself. It's how, see, or how long I've waited to do it. Because sometimes I let it build up. I think that's the part where it's like, and then it's like, I've had enough.

Yeah, I can't do this anymore. I, I've tried, I've tried one time, two times. The third time is where I'm like, I, I can't. At this point it's a pattern.

You'll never have to wonder how I feel about you.

Oh, that's good.

Ever.

Wow. Okay.

Ever. Ever. I don't give up. You never have to wonder. Please, you gonna know. I'm gonna, you'll never have to wonder how I feel, period. Like there are moments where I shut down and be quiet, but eventually I'm gonna come around and tell you why I was that way.

Mm, okay, that's good.

You know what I'm saying? You'll never have to wonder if it's you, what it is, 'cause you're going to know.

You know how like a lot of girls now, they ChatGPT. Like if there's an experience that happened, they would talk to ChatGPT like a motherfucker about a guy and they would try to figure out what's going on.

I know it, because I wrote a girl. I literally wrote this, um, like it's a girl I was interested in dating. So I wrote her a text or whatever and She was like, did you ChatGPT that? And I was like, no. Because I simply said to her that I think you're beautiful. I'm paraphrasing. I think you're beautiful and I could really appreciate getting acquainted with you.

Oh.

She thought I ChatGPT'd the shit. And I knew then, you, no, man. Yeah, you, I'm not your type.

That's crazy. But even if you did, you know, it still takes effort to go into ChatGPT and—

But it's not genuine.

It's, I mean, it's not genuine, but sometimes like English is my second language. So sometimes I want, like, there's things that I want to express.

That's fine for you.

Yes. But I also want to make sure it sounds like me and it sounds more, cause I know how I can talk and I know, but I also do know that sometimes I don't want to offend people. So I have a hard time expressing things, right? So I have to sometimes ask Twin, what should I do, or what should I text? I did say that. I was like, hey, what do I do?

Hey, once it get to a certain point, I don't even give a fuck. I'm going to say what I want to say. I'm, I'm only responsible for what I say, not what you comprehend.

That's true. It's like reading books. Huh, see, you intelligent as Fuck, you should do your IQ test. You probably going to have like the top 1%.

Man, please, they probably put a turtle on that shit. Slowest of the slowest.

No, no. So the last one, it says be willing to walk away, not as a game, but because you know your worth.

You could be willing, but are you?

See, that thing is hard as fuck.

I'm telling you, because you just, you know who you want, especially when your body only crave one person.

She's a bitch. And you're like, how do I— where am I walking? Like, no fucking where to go.

And don't let that person know your weaknesses, and they, they'll fuck you up. Yes, because people are smart, manipulative. She just— I've had one person who just know how much I care, how much I love her, and she just Used it against me too. She knew I was gonna let her in every time she came back around.

You spin the block?

9 years. I own the fucking block now. I'm Mike Epps. I came back and bought all this shit. All the houses.

9 years.

Yeah, I spin the block quick.

Would you go back again if she came back?

I don't even know if we really gone. We just ain't got shit going on. We ain't in no relationship. We just got— we was in an argument the other day. You would think we're in a relationship.

So what if you just be like, listen, let's lock it down?

It's not gonna work.

What if you propose?

Uh, it's not gonna work for the simple fact that her people don't like me, and I sure the fuck don't like them. I don't like her mama. I don't like her.

Oh, you guys have— you've gone deep. You know, mamas, daddies, and all of them.

I don't like her friends. I don't like none of them. Fuck all of them. Every last— everybody that she— fuck all of them. And but, but in, in her defense, she don't like none of mine, and mine don't like her either. So it, it, it, it won't work.

So how you going to move on?

She got to be like me though. You got to not give her—

how you going to move on from her?

And oh, cuz I'm dating now. If it's meant, it's meant. It'll happen. If she'll come around, she'll understand that I don't give a fuck if your folks don't like me, just like I don't give a fuck if her folks don't like me. I love you.

Yeah, it's us against the world.

Fuck the rest. So if she ever grows up and gets to that point, then we can— oh, we can be a beautiful thing. But I'm not holding my breath anymore. It used to be a point where I was just like, oh, now I'm dating and I'm entertaining women because I, I'm realizing who I am. I'm a fuck— I'm a prize. I make good money. I ain't got no kids. I ain't no baby mama drama. I got shit. I got motion going on. So, you know, once I realized that shit, then I started to—

Is it better, like, whenever, whoever you meet, is it better quality people, or what's the difference?

I have a type.

You have a type?

Yeah.

What's the type?

You got to be— you got to have some business about yourself first.

Okay. Um, physical type? Do you date white girls?

I have.

And what happened?

We always seem to get into it.

Like white American girls? Yeah. Get into what?

Like arguments about— because you don't understand me and I don't understand you.

That's— I feel like, yeah.

That's basically it. So would I do it now? Would I go? Probably not. Because I'm tired of going in circles. I'm tired of, you know what I'm saying? It's just like with certain people, certain, I don't even wanna talk to certain people no more because it's like the conversation just getting a bit redundant and I don't relish the thought of reiterating a goddamn thing. So it's just like, you don't get it, leave it alone.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying? This, this conversation is becoming a bit redundant. This situation going in circles. And so it's just like, cuz I, I didn't have a preference in the beginning.

Physical type, or it don't matter? It's not a physical, it's more of like, okay, as a person you got to have some business going on, got some shit going on, like what else?

Um, I like long hair.

Okay.

Kind of like you to be a little bit shorter than me.

Um, what if she's like your height?

That's cool, but just, I don't want to look—

you don't want no, no tree?

I don't want to be looking up and then, you know what I'm saying, like, I don't know. But, you know, I could probably— okay, if I get around, I could get around that shit. I ain't gonna even just say that. If I could get around it, height don't really mean shit. Okay, I could get around height.

They're gonna say again she's trying to fit in, like, I ain't trying to do shit, we're just trying to figure out the type.

I could get around height, um, just my size, you can't be—

I feel that.

Yeah, you know, I don't really like real thick women like that. I like petite.

Okay.

Yeah, I don't like all— I like a little nice.

It's gotta look proportionate to you.

Yeah, you know, I just like— because I'm small.

Maybe you have a secret obsession with 600-pounders.

Uh-uh, I ain't got no secret. I ain't got no one out in the public. No, I don't. No. I don't really care if you light-skinned or dark-skinned. I don't care about none of that shit. It's just as long as you, you gotta be attractive. I can't really say what attracts me anymore.

It's the energy, I think, a lot of times. Yeah.

A beautiful, beauty does not have a complexion. No, beauty does not have a, a height. It don't really have a weight. That's just a preference.

Yeah, I think it's the— I think what women miss out on a lot is that it's not how you look from the outside, is like, it's the energy inside, because you have to exude that energy.

Yeah.

And you have to, you know, I think regardless we can say men ain't shit. It's like, no, we got to try to understand each other to some extent, you know, and we got to communicate with each other. Because that's something that we have stopped doing as a society. We stopped connecting with people. But the thing is that we crave the most as human beings is connection.

Yes, genuine, genuine connection.

Not because you got some shit going on, I got some shit going on, let me see. Yes, but that's a business conversation. That's not a relationship conversation. That's just like, how are we going to make money? Money, right? Or then, then we can just stay friends. We don't have to do nothing. But if, if, if you trying to be around And that's what I've learned about me. I was trying to be around somebody, so— and now I'm like, I just wanted to see if I can be in that room and be comfortable in that room. And I've learned that I am comfortable in those rooms. I belong in those rooms, right? I don't— I'm not less than, because I always felt like, oh, maybe I'm not good enough, or like I can't— no, fuck no. I can walk into any room and I'm— I can be in that room, right? And so that's kind of like something that I was searching for back then, because I was like, oh, I wanted somebody with status and this and that. Now it's like Yeah, you just got to be on the same page.

I really— I prefer me a teacher or nurse or, you know, in spite of working in the office or something. You got to be a teacher or nurse, just somebody that got a common or a good common career. You don't have to be in the industry because I'm not going to trust you. Am I your content creator partner or what? Yeah, are you using me for connections? Like, what is it? Yeah, yeah, my trust is fucked up.

I mean, everybody's is.

Yeah, but mine is really fucked up.

Can you really trust somebody in this life? I don't know. Yeah, you can.

I don't think so until you give me a reason not to, but I'm paying attention, right?

But I'm just saying that like, I— maybe it's just something that I have in me where I'm a control freak, where I have a hard time putting my trust into something fully, you know. There's always— because the moment you show me that there is a deviation from a pattern, right, the alarm is going off.

I think another thing too, I also believe in whatever is meant, God is going to make it happen. Whatever God is— because you got to understand where I come from, how my parents met.

For one, this is Talk Less. Talk less, do more.