A short advice video by anxiety and OCD recovery coach Danielle Jhiani explaining Relationship OCD (ROCD) and relationship-focused anxiety. She defines ROCD as obsessions about one’s partner, one’s feelings, or partner’s feelings, describes common symptoms (rumination, hyper-focusing, doubt, compulsive checking/behaviours), normalizes fluctuations in romantic feeling, contrasts anxiety-driven doubt with calm intuition, and directs viewers toward treatment/programs and related videos.
Chapters
Foreign.
Welcome back. My name is Danielle Gianni. I'm an anxiety and OCD recovery coach. Helping people recover from anxiety and OCD just like I have. So you can live a happy life and have amazing relationships. Today I want to talk about the fear or the feeling that I have fallen out of love, or maybe I was never in love with my partner. If you've experienced something like this, you may have something called relationship ocd. Relationship OCD is obsessions about either our partner, our feelings for our partner, their feelings for us, or a hyper focus on the relationship or their traits or flaws. It can show up in a lot of different ways, but this is a really common disorder that a lot of people don't know they have. Now follows. These obsessions and fears are called compulsions. They're ways to get rid of that discomfort. Maybe you don't have ocd, maybe it's just anxiety around relationships. The treatment is actually very, very similar. So if you find yourself worrying that you fell out of love, hyper focusing on your feelings, or maybe worrying that you were never in love or never attracted to your partner, this is so common and you can overcome this. These are just intrusive thoughts. The reality is if someone truly didn't love their partner anymore or they grew apart, they would end the relationship and move on. There wouldn't be doubt, confusion, anxiety that comes along with this. I remember ending a relationship one time because of anxiety and I had no idea what was going on. But I ended it because I was feeling so much anxiety that I thought was my intuition. It wasn't my intuition. Intuition is very calm. It was fear and anxiety that I had no idea what was going on. What I want you to know is that it's very normal to not feel in love with your partner a lot of the time. Each relationship has typically a honeymoon stage and then a stage where we just start to get comfortable with that person. We're not experiencing that excitement, excitement getting to know that person or the first kiss or the first time we make love or any of those things that could be really exciting at the beginning anymore. It's more comfortable. The love changes. Now, if you didn't have a honeymoon stage, I want you to watch this next video because we're going to talk about that as well as soon as you're done watching this one. That can be common too, when someone experiences anxiety or OCD in relationships. And it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong, but the reality is most of relationships is boring, boring and mundane. We get up, we go to work, we go home, we make dinner, we go to bed, and we repeat the next day. We want to look for contentment in relationships with some nice, exciting moments sprinkled in or a date night. The longer that relationships go on, they're going to be boring, but we have to nurture them and they're not always going to feel exciting. So if you find yourself hyper focusing on your feelings and your relationship, it's really important to that you get the proper treatment for this CD is a disorder that will attach to all kinds of things. It'll attach to your feelings in the relationship. It'll attach to your partner's flaws. It will worry about what's going to go wrong in the future. It will worry about am I making right decision? Am I with the right partner? And this will get worse and worse over time. And what your brain is focusing on will shift to different topics over time. Here are a few signs it might be time to join one of our programs so that you can recover from this Relationship Focused Anxiety or OC cd. You're thinking about or ruminating about your relationship every day. A lot of the day you find yourself thinking about relationships in general. Even when you're single, you hyperfocus on your feelings for your partner or maybe your partner's feelings for you. You're always looking to feel a certain way or wanting your partner to react or be a certain way to make you feel more secure or better about the relationship. You find yourself feeling anxious in relationships, doubting or even avoiding or running away from relationships quite often, and you feel anxiety or it's just low level excuses to get out. I understand what you're going through. I've been through this. But I'm now happily married with a brand new baby and this can get a lot better. No matter how difficult it's been or how uncomfortable you feel, learning what's going on in your brain, learning to recognize the fear and discomfort and respond differently is going to change this because our response before we understand what we're doing is actually making it worse. If this video is helpful, please comment below. Let me know how relationship OCD or anxiety shows up for you and check out the next video on why you maybe didn't have a honeymoon stage in your relationship. If that was the case, stay tuned. Comment subscribe to this channel so you can get notifications of new videos and we'll talk to you very soon.
