A short instructional talk by life coach Danielle Thornton about intrusive thoughts specifically in Relationship OCD (ROCD). Explains causes (early experiences, learned anxiety), brain mechanisms (amygdala/limbic system vs prefrontal cortex), and practical strategies to manage intrusive thoughts (normalize thoughts, let them pass, expect them, take opposite action; avoid analysis or suppression). Concludes with an offer for further support.
Foreign.
Welcome. My name is Danielle Thornton, and I am a life coach and course creator. And today I want to talk about intrusive thoughts, really specific to relationship ocd. So an intrusive thought is just a thought that someone might get that causes worry, distress, alarm. And it's really important to remember that intrusive thoughts are common for everybody. But a lot of people who struggle with intrusive thoughts tend to be those with anxiety disorders. So general anxiety, ptsd, ocd, these are really common with these types of disorders. So why do we get these thoughts? Intrusive thoughts, again, happen with everybody. But when it comes to somebody with an anxiety disorder or ocd, there has typically been a past history and experiences that have kind of led up to these types of anxiety disorders. Right? So experiences in our childhood, feelings of abandonment, bullying, loss of any type. A lot of people who struggle with anxiety or OCD have had a parent who has anxiety or is an over worrier, AKA anxiety. And it's definitely a learned behavior. And then as we grow up, we have experiences that just reinforce some of those beliefs that were created when we were younger. And so what happens is throughout life, we have a certain part of our brain because of this, it's a little bit more active, called the limbic system. And when we start to get intrusive thoughts and we start to have anxiety, these intrusive thoughts come from the amygdala. And the more this kind of thing happens, and the more we don't know how to control it, the more that they're going to happen to us, because that part of the brain is really active, and we don't know how to quiet down that part of the brain and ignite a more rational part of our brains. And so over time, this can become bigger and bigger. A lot of times, people don't realize they have anxiety for quite a while. It's pretty low level, masked as stress. And then all of a sudden, there's an event that might really trigger it. And so then they might get an intrusive thought, which really freaks them out or starts to worry them, which creates more worry and more anxiety. It continues to keep that part of the brain ignited and going. And once you are wiring and firing one part of your brain, it's going to keep happening until you can learn how to kind of reverse. But the really good thing is that you can start to quiet this part of your brain and start to wire and fire a different part of your brain, which is the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of our brains that that is rational and that can override the fear center of our brain. So let's talk about some things that you can do to start to work with your intrusive thoughts. Okay? So the first one is. The first two actually are beliefs. So beliefs are really, really important. A belief or a knowing is something really solid within us that guides us, right? So the belief or the knowing that intrusive thoughts are normal, okay? Because they are. Everybody has them. The belief or knowing that thoughts are just thoughts. Because again, we all have thoughts. Some are.
You know, really solid and feel really true to us. Sometimes we have thoughts that are just kind of crazy and out there, and that's really, really normal. So knowing that that's normal and that you're not alone. The third thing is letting them go or just letting them pass. So once they come, the more attention we give to them, the more we're wiring that part of the brain, right? So when we do get an intrusive thought, it's really important that you're able to just notice it and let it pass without giving it much attention. The next thing that you can do is expect them, right? Because they're. They're going to come. Everybody has them. So if you can expect them, it's not going to come as much of a surprise. And you can prepare and have a strategy for those intrusive thoughts. And then the last thing is to take the opposite action. So taking action is crucial because by taking action, you're using an even different part of your brain, and that is going to quiet down the fear center of your brain that's creating the intrusive thought. So you can take a simple action as, you know, just going and cleaning the bathroom or going and reading a book. It doesn't matter what the action is, as long as it's something different outside of the intrusive thought that you're having. So that's really crucial. The things that you don't want to do is to give that thought any attention, analyze it to try to figure it out. Try to figure out if it's true or if it's not true. Because again, our thoughts are just thoughts. Once you can quiet down that fear part of your brain, you can really get in touch with your true self. And you'll be able to really then determine what's just fear and what's not. Because when it comes to all of this stuff, it doesn't matter whether it's ocd, whether it's anxiety, or what it is. It's all fear. And so when you give that attention, you're continuing to keep that part of the brain active, okay? So don't give it any attention. Don't analyze it, don't try to figure it out, but then also don't try to push it away. Because everything that. Everything that comes to us is really a part of us. And it's just like someone telling you not to do something, it makes you want to do it, or somebody tells you not to think about something, it makes you want to think about it. So it's important to always recognize or, you know, accept something and then make a quick decision as to whether you want to hold on to it or not. And intrusive thoughts are definitely something that you do not want. So I hope this video was helpful in teaching you a little bit more about intrusive thoughts and kind of what to do when they show up for you with your relationship ocd. If you are looking for more support, please check out the information below, because I know exactly how it is to struggle with this. And that is why I become a life coach, to help other people who are struggling to become more confident and happy and calm in their lives. And so I know that that can happen for you, too. Just know that I am here with you every step of the way, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
