Jamara's OCD Recovery Story I Harm OCD I Health OCD I Relationship OCD

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Hi, it's good to see you. I wanted to have you come on and talk today about just your recovery journey, your journey as an associate coach and help people get to know you. Because for everybody who's unaware, Jamera is now an associate coach with my OCD coach. She's on my website, she's taking clients, she's working with all three levels of memberships of the PATH and doing an awesome job. So I wanted to come on and just kind of do a little interview with her and you guys can see here a little bit about her recovery journey and how she feels about that and what helped her and then, you know, how she works as a coach in case any of you are interested. So, so, so Jamara, why don't you tell us a little bit about the different types of OCD subsets that you used to struggle with and what that was like for you.

Yeah, so I always had OCD since I was a kid. I didn't know that it was OCD at the time. And it started with the fear of my family members and friends dying. So I would literally go to the window when my dad go to work and just make sure that he was not dead when he went out. So just the fear of my parents dying was just really, really hard on me. And my compulsions were looking through the wind, looking at the window, putting gum in the wrapper. If I don't put my gum in the wrapper, something's going to happen to my parents. And then later on as I got older, I started to have fears of my health. So I used to think I was going to get a disease. I would self diagnose myself with so many terrible diseases and my compulsions were looking up symptoms and going to the doctors over and over again. At this time again, I still didn't know I had ocd. It wasn't until I got engaged, which was actually before I got engaged, I met my boyfriend and this was two years ago and, and I started having these intrusive thoughts about our relationship. And so I would think I don't love my boyfriend or he doesn't love me.

And my compulsions were self reassurance, testing, looking at pictures, trying to figure out if I feel something for him. And I knew that something was wrong because I was in a happy place beforehand. And just for me to just switch like that, I'm just, I was just really scared. So I said I really need to get help. And what I did was I looked it up and I went to several therapists and it Wasn't until one person told me, hey, you got ocd? And I did not believe it at first. I said, I'm not the most clean person. I'm not cleaning everything, so I don't have ocd. And they said, no, you have OCD because of X, Y and Z. And I said, yep, that's me. So I started getting some help and I just gained interest in this field and now I'm working with Danielle and it's amazing.

Yeah. So you tried several different therapists before you found one that was actually able to diagnose you with ocd?

Yes. Yep. So I just saw this general anxiety and. Yep. So I just told me.

Super common, because as many of you have heard me say, only about 1% of therapists are trained to recognize and treat OCD. So it's not uncommon to be misdiagnosed, undiagnosed. And ERP is the only evidence based treatment for OCD. It's the only thing that works. I think Jamer and I can both tell you I tried a lot of different things before I found ERP as well. And yeah, so it's, it's very common, unfortunately, and hopefully that will get better with time. So what, what did you try that didn't work?

So what I tried that didn't work.

Was again, well, I thought I was helping myself, but I just realized they were compulsion. So when I was self diagnosing myself, I would go online and look up the symptoms and try to figure out if I do have this. I would go to the doctors over and over again. And I'm referring to health OCD at this point. Um, and again, going to the harm ocd, I would do things to prevent the situation from happening, the unknown from happening. So, you know, if I thought that my parents were going to die, then let me put my gum in the wrapper so they won't die. So I thought that was helping me, but it just was encouraging the entire cycle and going back, even with the relationship ocd, I would call my boyfriend over and over again, hey, do you feel loved by me? I thought it was helping, but it was not. So I literally thought that the compulsions I was. All the compulsions that I was doing, it didn't help at all. I thought they were helpful, but they weren't.

Yeah, good. So tell me what did help and what that was like for you.

So what helped was when I just accepted the unknown. I accepted uncertainty. So a lot of it had to do with perfection. I wanted perfectionism. I wanted an answer. And it Wasn't until I realized, hey, I don't need to know what's going to happen in the future. I don't need to know if my mom and dad are going to die. I don't need to know if I have this disease, and I don't need to know if I truly love my boyfriend. All I need to know is.

Just to let things go and to be in the moment. And so what I did was I started doing ERP and that's exposure response prevention. I exposed myself to the fear, and that was either physical exposure. So physical exposure would be something like.

I don't know, maybe writing down something that is causing the fear. If I think I have heart disease, I'm writing down hearts over and over again, or I did imaginable exposure. So I thought, I don't love my boyfriend. So what I said was, I don't love my boyfriend. And I let go of the compulsion. So I let go of that self reassurance. I let go of, you know, looking up answers, and it just helped. So that was the exposure response prevention. It really helped me.

Great. And what would you tell people? Because I'm sure you know, I know I have been there and I'm sure you were too. The thought of exposing ourselves to our fears is scary. So what would you tell people who are scared to do ERP because as you and I know, they're used to running away from the discomfort versus facing it. So they're really scared to do that. What would you tell them?

I would tell them one, you're not alone, it's okay. But I will also tell them that it works. And if you are afraid to get in the room, to get in the room of spiders, metaphorically speaking. But yeah, to get in the room, then the best way to get over your fears is to face it. So if you're wanting to get better, the best way to get better is to face your fear. So get in the room and just know that we're all holding your hand because we've all been there. So.

Yes. And so how is life different now that you are in the recovery stage versus where you're at before? How's life different for you now?

Life is definitely different. I can breathe.

You know, I was super, super anxious beforehand. Every little thing bothered me. And of course, if I was eng. Engaging in the compulsions, I was just making it worse. Now I acknowledge what is a trigger and what is a compulsion, and I let go of it and I can see things clearly. I ended up marrying my boyfriend. I'M now married to him, and it's possible. Everything is possible. If you're doing the work, it's possible, and you can still do what you want to do in life. So, again, I am breathing. I'm breathing. It feels great. And I'm just so glad that I was able to take the necessary steps to get over this ocd. So, yeah, it's possible.

Yeah. Awesome. And so you've been through ERP therapy, and, you know, you've been working with me, and you see the programs and the coaching and all of that. So how would you compare or differentiate or just in general.

ERP therapy compared to, you know, either our coaching or my membership programs?

Yeah, so our coaching sessions, first of all, y' all got to sign up to for one of our coaching sessions. They're awesome. And the reason why is because we identify compulsion. So a lot of times when you are meeting up with an ERP therapist or CBT therapist, most of the times they do not know what the compulsions that you're struggling with, and it's hard for you to identify what they are. We have an entire list on compulsions, and you can actually identify what compulsions you may be struggling with. In addition, we do the work with you so you're not left alone to do erp. We're holding your hand with you. We're doing the work, whether that's imaginable exposure and physical exposure. We're doing the entire work with you. So I think those are the two main things. You get to identify your compulsion and you do the work with us.

So, yeah, absolutely. And there's a lot of support. You know, one of the things I find is some people like the one on one sessions, they want private. But the programs are super cost effective. You know, the lowest level program to help you get to recovery is $27 per week. So I think that's a big benefit. You know, a lot of people are able to use insurance, too, with. With therapists, but that's why, you know, I created that program. But that community aspect, I know you weren't in a program, but I will say the community aspect. People learn so much on their own, but they learn so much from each other too, which is really crucial. One other question I had for you is I know when I was doing ERP therapy, I was taught to do the exposure until the discomfort dropped in half, which I did for a long time. And then after I was a lot better and I was coaching, it occurred to me that, why am I stopping at half? Why aren't I taking, you know, why aren't I helping people get the discomfort all the way to zero? Yeah. So I started doing that on my own and I started doing that with my clients and the discomfort went to zero. And. And so not only did my discomfort get to zero, my compulsions got to zero and I got to the recovery stage, which I didn't think was possible. Right. My question for you is, were you taught to go to half as well? And then did you. Have you practiced going to zero and has that been a lot more beneficial?

Yeah, I definitely was taught to go in half.

Just as long as I'm bringing the discomfort down. So if I. If it was at a 10, if you're down to a 5, you're good. And I definitely agree with you, bringing it down to a zero, that is the key because again, we want to breathe, so we definitely want to just be able to enjoy life and move on, get married and whatever it is that we have planned. So I think getting down to zero, that is the goal. If you're trying to do that, you're trying to breathe and trying to do what you want to do to get out of the OCD stage, then, um, yeah, it is to get down to zero. Yeah.

Awesome. So tell me how it's been so far working with clients either in the membership programs or one on one coaching. How has that been for you so far?

It is great. I love working with my OCD coach. It is amazing. I found Danielle way back when I was struggling with my OCD and it is just great working alongside with her. And I love working with every client that I work with one on one. I love seeing them going from 10 to 0. I love seeing their faces get lit up when they notice that ERP work. I love the path I run the Saturday calls and is amazing. Just like what you were saying with the community call. You know, it's like a community. We're all there together, we learn from each other. Just great conversations and this is definitely a blessing, just being able to work with everyone and help them with their ocd. OCD journey.

Yeah. Well, I'm super glad to have you on board. You know, my goal is anybody I bring on board is going to have personal experience with OCD and recovery. I think that is just such a benefit and not that somebody that doesn't have it can't help, but we know what it's like to have ocd. We know what it's like to go through the recovery stage and we know what it's like to no longer have symptoms of ocd. Yeah, there's a lot to be said about that and you've done a great job. People love working with you.

And yeah. So thank you so much for sharing your story. And for those of you who are interested in our programs or our coaching sessions, you can visit www.myocdcoach.com and click on Work with us. At the top there you are going to find our three different membership programs. There's three different levels. Every membership program is going to give you the same information, all of the tools that you need to recover from any OCD subset. Each level going up is just going to provide you more support and access to Jumeirah and I. So. And then if you just want to do one on one coaching sessions, we have, you can schedule an initial session with one of us and then you can choose a coaching package from there or you can even just do a course if that's what you want to do. So there are options for everybody. It doesn't matter where in the world you are at, you can join. This is all done online via Zoom. We have a private app, so anybody that joins one of our membership programs can download that private app. You get 24, seven online coaching, you get access to other people. Again, depending on the program that you're in, you get a ton of support for a really good cost. So I promise your investment is well worth it. But you can find their sessions again with Jumeirah, with myself, or any one of those membership programs. There's a lot of testimonials on my website as well if you want to find out. Listen for more people who have worked with us who have gotten results. And Jamara is right. ERP works every single time. We just have to learn it properly and use it consistently. And just like our physical health, our mental health is a lifetime practice, so it's something that you're going to use for life. So learning it effectively is going to be really important and helpful because it's what keeps me in this recovery stage and Jumeirah as well. So thank you guys so much for joining us today. Jamera, I'm going to have you join me on more of these calls, but thank you so much for your time today.

Thanks so much. I'll see you guys. Bye.