Danielle Jhiani explains why some people skip the honeymoon stage: relationship anxiety, attachment issues, or OCD can make you hyper-critical of your partner from the start. Past hurt and fear of choosing wrong are common culprits. These patterns are treatable.
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Welcome back. My name is Danielle Gianni. I'm an anxiety, OCD and relationship coach, helping people overcome anxiety, OCD and relationship issues just like I have so you can live an amazing life with happy, healthy relationships. Today I'm going to talk about the honeymoon stage in relationships and why some of you may have concerns that you didn't have one. Now. The honeymoon stage is a great time in a new relationship. You're excited to hear from that person, you're waiting for their text, you're excited to see them again. There's a lot of fantasizing about where this relationship might go in the future and a general sense of excitement and happiness. But there's a lot of people that don't feel this at the beginning. And the reason is is their predisposition to be anxious about relationships. Maybe you've had bad experiences in the past. Maybe you've made some unhelpful decisions in the past. You're afraid of making the wrong decision again. Maybe you struggle to get close with people and when you start to get close, you start to feel uncomfortable and want to avoid or run away. These are common traits of people with either attachment issues, relationship anxiety, or relationship ocd, and often a combination of those. But what I want you to know is just because you didn't have a honeymoon stage in your relationship doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that person or the relationship. What it means is you have anxiety that's overshadowing a lot of these positive feelings. There's fear and anxiety. Now maybe you feel anxious and afraid and recognize that maybe you don't. Maybe you were like me for a while where you were dating, but your brain always found something wrong with the relationship, so it came up with some sort of excuse as to why this person wasn't right for you and you never even got into a relationship in the first place. This subtle anxiety can very often be overlooked as just I want to focus on work, I don't want a relationship right now, or these people just weren't right for me. Other times people experience drastic anxiety and discomfort when they get in relationship. Either way, your brain is seeing relationships as potentially dangerous. Maybe you're going to get hurt. Maybe you're going to pick the wrong person and be unhappy just like your parents were. Maybe you're going to end up in divorce, or maybe you're just generally uncomfortable with connection because that's not something that you had in your past. What I want you to know is this is very, very treatable. You can overcome this and get to the point where you're not anxious in relationships. You're not obsessing about your feelings or their feelings or what's going to happen in the and riddled with worry, we can train the brain to recognize that relationships are dangerous. Sure, you may get hurt, it may not work out, but that is not true danger, and it's not worthy of strong levels of avoidance or anxiety. When you stop listening to the fear and you learn to trust yourself, you'll see that you make good decisions. Maybe you're not perfect, none of us are, but you learn to trust yourself versus the fear. So whether you've had a honeymoon stage in your relationship and you're anxious because it's not there anymore, or you never had one to begin with, it doesn't even matter. We're going to learn how to retrain your brain to stop being anxious in relationships so that you can feel calm, happy, connected, and learn to trust yourself again in relationships. If you want help with this, I have programs specifically for this that are going to teach you how I overcame relationship OCD along with other OCD subsets and anxieties. You can do this. I'm here with you. Please subscribe Comment like this video and we'll talk to you very soon.
