Olivia's ROCD Recovery - Only 3 Sessions In

Right.

So thanks for joining me, Olivia. Just wanted to talk a little bit about your experience with relationship ocd, with working with me and doing ERP to help other people understand what it's like, what it's like to do ERP, to work with me, and how you're feeling so far with the process. So we started working together just a week or two ago.

Right.

We've had three sessions. So tell me what things were like for you before we started working together.

So I started off with it really, really badly, and I was having really obsessive thoughts, and.

And I took a pill, like a contraceptive pill, and it was making me feel even worse. And it built these thought in my head that were. You know, I just had a tiny, tiny little doubts, and. And it got worse and worse and worse, and I just kept thinking about it, and every day I was, like, in tears and just really, really upset and just not feeling well at all, just physically, just emotionally. And it. Yeah, it was just horrible. And so I just started looking up a lot of things, actually, and then I found. I found Danielle, and I saw that you posted a lot of things, and I thought, I'm gonna message her and see.

See if I can get some help.

Yeah, it's just been awful, and the ERP has really, really helped me. I think I've just had three sessions. It's my third session. I've just had my third session today. And it's incredible because I think OCD is like a cycle in your head. It's a. And it's something that you have to try and break out of, and.

It'S all about just trying to get out of that cycle and.

By just trying not to do compulsions, by trying not to.

Just letting the thought come to your head but not letting it, not questioning it, not.

Just letting it just drift past you. And I think that's really, really, really, really important, because before I was trying to question it and trying to make sense of everything, and I think it's so important that you don't do that. You just. You just got to let it come to you, and you've just got to accept the thought, and you've just got to accept that maybe things won't happen, maybe they will, but just don't question it. And I feel like this ERP has really, really helped me understand that and feel more comfortable. And I've stopped crying, stopped feeling. I mean, I'm just not as upset as I was before.

So I'm really, really, really thankful for Danielle.

That's Amazing. Yeah, you've done such good work. Did you try anything else before this that maybe wasn't as effective?

I think I came in quite early, didn't I? So I think as soon as I. As soon as I was feeling this, that these things are. Started googling straight away and trying to find help because I was like, this isn't normal. I don't think anyone obsessively thinks this much.

So. I know. I think, I think.

I think what I was trying to do was I was trying to make. I mean, the only thing that I was trying to do for myself was make sense of the thoughts and do the compulsions and I was doing a lot of reassurance seeking and trying to understand my head, and that just wasn't helping me at all. It was just making it worse and worse and worse and it was making a cycle just keep going round and round and round and just couldn't break out of it, really. But then, you know, obviously finding out about doing the compulsions and everything just makes it worse. And.

Knowing that is just really helped because.

Yeah, it's just. It's just really helped a lot, actually.

Yeah, good. And so what have you learned in this process that is different than maybe what you had learned by just searching online or watching videos and things like that?

So I'd say, like, actually talking to you face to face. Just having somebody there as well really, really helps. Knowing that. It's really weird. But as I go through my life at the moment, I'm always thinking, well, I've got Daniel. I always know that you kind of. I mean, I wouldn't say that's.

Like reassurance seeking or a compulsion thing, but I always think it's nice to have someone there who is there for you and who I can still do the ERP with. So, yeah, I'm always thinking I've got, you know.

I've got somebody here who's like supporting and helping me and will help me through this process.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because I know a lot of people try to do it on their own and they try to learn erp and a lot of people can start to, you know, understand the process. But as you know, ERP has to be done very specifically with your thoughts. And even today, you know, working with the wording of the exposures is really important. So.

Yeah, definitely. What would you. What advice would you give somebody who's thinking about working with me or even a different ERP specialist?

I'd say, like. So I think at first I was a bit like apprehensive about doing it myself because I thought, oh, I'm not, I'm not sure if it's going to work. What if it doesn't work? What if I spend a lot of money and, and nothing happens? And I think there's just no harm in trying. You, I think you've got to really give it a go. And ERP in particular is. It's, you know, it's quite a logical way of doing it. And for me, I was always a bit like, oh, God, it's gonna be really like.

I was just thinking it was going to be more like all over the place and not sort of like logical, but the ERP is like a really logical way to do it. It's all about how your brain works. And like, you know what, you, you know, you can, you can do it. And.

And it's all about sort of training your brain to help yourself, really.

That's exactly what it is. It is, you know, we're rewiring the brain. And I've said before that, and it's so true when, you know, when someone does the work, right, because there is, you know, work on your end, there's work that we do together, but you literally are rewiring your brain. And a brain scan of someone before ERP versus after ERP look very different. And a lot of people after erp, their brain scans actually look normal, like that of someone without OCD if they're, you know, doing the exposure work and the response prevention work, which is really important too. So I love that explanation. Well, awesome. Well, anything else that you would want to say to somebody who's struggling with relationship OCD would want them to know or understand.

I think anything's possible. And like, before I just thought, like, I couldn't, like, I would never be able to get over it. And, you know, obviously, still I've got a long way to go, but I, I can feel myself getting better. And I think you've just got to keep that in mind. That there's.

It'S, you know, it's, it's not. It will get better. It's. It's not gonna, you know, I mean, I think the thoughts will, will always be there. But, but as we said, just training, it's just about training your brain and to just deal with them. And.

And I think, I think, yeah, I think ERP is a brilliant way to go and I think that everybody should try it. So that's my advice for everybody. I think it's. It is, you know, it is worth the money. And it's really, really helped me, so, yeah.