Danielle Jhiani explains how OCD compulsions like repeatedly bringing things up or seeking certainty fuel relationship arguments. Stop the compulsions, sit with the discomfort, and see if the issue actually matters once you stop feeding it.
How to deal with the arguments. When OCD that is causing the arguments, you have to stop all compulsions. A common compulsion is the need to bring things up, to fix things, to have certainty. Every time you give in to compulsions, it feeds OCD's need for more perfection and certainty. When you stop compulsions, you allow discomfort, you allow uncertainty. It fades away eventually and you're usually able to see that I didn't even need to bring up that thing in the first place. OCD was making it bigger than it should have. So how do you know that OCD is causing you to want to bring something up? We know OCD is attaching to something if you have feelings of discomfort followed by compulsions. My rule of thumb if you think OCD is attaching, then stop all compulsions, disengage with it for a while, and then see if it even bothers you anymore. Most of the time it's not going to.
