Successful OCD Recovery - Proactive, NOT Reactive

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Welcome back. My name is Danielle Thornton. I'm an anxiety and OCD recovery coach who has fully recovered from anxiety and multiple subsets of ocd and I help other people do the same. Today I want to talk about reactive recovery versus proactive recovery. And first I want to explain what recovery is Right. And what that looks like and what it takes. So ERP exposure and response prevention is the foundation of recovery from ocd. It's the only evidence based treatment for ocd. It is under the CBT umbrella and it is really crucial for recovery along with other things like ACT acceptance, work, self compassion, mindfulness. Okay. So if you understand ERP and you know some of those techniques, then you are on your way to fully recovering from ocd. Now let's talk about reactive recovery. Reactive recovery is what a lot of people are doing and while why they are struggling. Okay. So when you are just kind of waiting for the OCD to show up or letting it be there, trying to let the thoughts be there, trying not to give them attention, trying to white knuckle it through those feelings that you're having. Right, right. That's more reactive recovery. A lot of people will teach you, just allow the discomfort to be there, allow the thoughts to be there, try not to give them attention. Okay. And that is a technique that I teach as well. But what I usually say is this technique is going to be very effective when you're close to or in the recovery stage, to just let the thought come and not give it attention. Okay. But the beginning of your recovery process, this is not going to be very effective if you are doing a lot of compulsions, if you're really struggling with ocd, this technique is going to work to an extent. But again, it's not going to be the most effective. The hard part that I struggle with in being on social media and Facebook groups is that when somebody asks me, well, what can I do in this moment with this thought.

That'S a technique that I might tell somebody to try to do, but that's because I can't teach ERP in a Facebook group or in a chat circle. Right. Or even in these videos. It's difficult to properly treat. Teach ERP because I need to talk to you, I need to find out what is that particular thought, help you figure out an exposure statement with it, teach you how to do different exposure exercises, do them with you typically, and if I can't do them with you, then we need the follow up to say, okay, how's it going? What worked and what didn't Because ERP does work every time when it's done properly. But the brain is going to try to sabotage this. Right. So there's a couple ways that ERP can be done incorrectly and I'll actually do a video on that next that is going to make these techniques ineffective. Okay. So it's important to learn proper ERP with a specialist like myself or somebody else, or in a program where you have follow up support. Okay. So a lot of people are just trying to take these techniques online and use them. And I'm not saying you're not going to be effective every time you, you do exposure and you don't give the thoughts attention or you lean into the uncertainty, it's going to be effective. It's just a matter of are you able to continue doing it and reduce compulsions. Okay. So reactive is basically somebody who's just kind of letting the thoughts be there and trying not to give them attention. Right. And the problem with this is you're usually in a way pushing it away. When you get an intrusive thought or an uncomfortable feeling and your reaction is, I don't like this, I don't want this. You're pushing it away. This is a subtle compulsion that again, none of this is your fault because you don't understand what's going on, you don't know what to do differently. So it's not your fault that this is happening. It's just that we have to help you learn what's going on and what to do differently. So now let's talk about proactive recovery. Someone who is proactively working on recovery is going to get a lot better results. Right? Because they're not just fearfully waiting for it to come and then trying not to give it attention. They're actually taking that intrusive thought or that uncomfortable situation and they're putting themselves in it. Right? And for those of you who have never done erp, I know that sounds really scary. I remember that being scary for me too. But holy cow, does it work. And the thing is, you may be uncomfortable in the short term because everything else you're doing is trying to avoid discomfort by running away from it. But that actually gives it attention and makes it stronger. The other reason is when your brain gives you an intrusive thought or a fear based thought, the way you react is so crucial. When you react with emotion and fear and giving it attention, you're basically telling your brain that this is a thought that we need to pay attention to. This is a thought that is important and that's why you get more intrusive thoughts. So the way that you react with compulsions, the compulsions are the problem here, I promise you guys. It's not the thoughts, it's not the feelings. Those are all normal and they'll reduce with erp. But what you're doing with compulsions is you're getting short term relief, usually, but long term suffering. ERP works so well because first of all, it's what everybody without OCD is doing. You already do it in areas of life that are uncertain or uncomfortable. You face them anyway and you don't give it a second thought. The reason why ERP works so well is because we're basically training our brain that this isn't something that I'm going to pay attention to. This isn't something that's as scary as you're telling me that it is. And I know that. And even if you don't know it at first and you're not sure, you still have to react in a way with exposure and response prevention to teach your brain that it's not important. And then that thought comes less and less and less often until it stops coming. Now that may feel uncomfortable in the short term, but very quickly that discomfort's gonna start to fade. And not only that, that discomfort that we feel in the short term really isn't any worse than the discomfort that we're feeling as we struggle with OCD over and over and over again. So there's not going to be that much of a difference. It's just going to be a little bit. Look a little bit different for a different time period. So proactive recovery is when we are knowing that intrusive thoughts are normal. We're going to get intrusive thoughts, we're going to get thoughts of discomfort or negative thoughts in our life. That's part of being a human being. So when we fully accept that and know that, then we, we're ready. Right now we have to learn what to do with them, which is the exposure part. So when we get an intrusive thought and we learn to lean into the uncertainty of that thought, when we learn to respond with, yep, maybe that will happen, I don't know, I'm going to wait and see. But we don't give it any more attention in our heads or in our lives, then it fades away and we're able to see if it happens or not. Many times it doesn't. And if it does, we usually handle it quite well.

Proactive recovery is. You know, I tell people when you're struggling with ocd. I want you to do imaginal exposure exercises every single day on your top two thoughts until they are literally not bothering you anymore. And if you do this, it may take a few days, but they're going to stop bothering you, right? So you're proactively doing exposure with your two biggest thoughts and they start bothering you, stop bothering you over time. And the little ones aren't going to bother you that much because again, you're in a place of being proactive with the ocd. You're not waiting for it to come. You're actually saying, hey, come here, let's do this. And it will make all of the difference in the world in your recovery. Now, I have been in the recovery stage and I stay in the recovery stage. I am at that full recovery stage. OCD doesn't bother me anymore. Do I get thoughts of what if this happens or what if that happens? Sure, I'm a human being, but I expect them. I know that they're going to happen. I actually, every once in a while, practice exposure with, hey, let's bring on these thoughts that I was once afraid of. The funny thing is, when we do that, they usually don't show up if you're truly okay with them being there. But I know that if I ever get intrusive thoughts that bother me again, I know what to do with them because I've taken the time to go through the recovery journey and it's not a quick one. Right? When I work with somebody in my. The path programs, it is the skills work quickly. They work as soon as you start using them, but. But it takes a while to work through all of those big OCD themes until you get rid of those. And there's other themes here. OCD shows up all over in your life. You just don't realize it. You see the big ones, but you don't see how maybe you're uncomfortable with a certain project, so you procrastinate, right? You may not see how you're a perfectionist with your friends or family. You know, there's ways that once we get rid of that, there's all these little OCD tendencies that we take care of. And so that's how we get to the recovery stage and we stay there. And it takes time and practice and support. So I have several programs for you if you're interested in getting help with this. I promise you it's possible. I've done it. I see people do it every day. You can check out my website, which is in the link in the description below. And I want you to know that you can get better. It doesn't matter how long you've been struggling with this, what OCD subset you've had. I've worked with them all. And ERP works every single time. When we learn it properly, when we use it consistently, and it becomes a lifetime habit, where it becomes easy, it becomes automatic. It's just what we do when it comes to uncertainty, doubt and discomfort. So thank you for joining me today and we'll talk to you very soon.