Sam guides you through resisting urges and compulsions by accepting uncertainty and imperfection. The meditation emphasizes letting go of the need to control every thought or feeling.
Today, I'm going to guide you through resisting urges or compulsions that your brain and body are telling you to do. Whether you're having an urge to overeat, an urge to do, a compulsion in response to ocd, or an urge to avoid uncomfortable feelings with drinking or substances, it's important to remember that although they may feel strong, these urges are not necessary.
Your brain is in survival mode right now and it's developed habits and coping mechanisms that have no doubt helped you in the past. But each time you do this, the relief is short term. In the long term, engaging in this pattern does nothing for you. It only teaches you that you can't cope with uncomfortable feelings. This is false.
If your urge is in response to an intrusive thought. Your brain thinks that if you do something about it or figuring it out, that all will be okay. But this is untrue. There's usually nothing to figure out because your brain seeks certainty but will continue to doubt everything. When in a negative loop.
Life is uncertain and when you accept this, you will feel peace.
If you feel the urge to use a substance because it would make you feel better in this moment, just remember that it may do that for you temporarily, but giving in will cause more suffering in the long term. Health issues, self confidence issues, and even more serious consequences. Consequences.
You can retrain your brain. No matter how long this has been going on, I've done it myself.
You can rewire your brain out of this habit and each time you surf the wave of an urge, your nervous system will calm down. Over time.
You will teach yourself that you don't have to react and that everything will be okay. The less they will come, the weaker they'll get.
You are going to gain confidence in yourself by using this regularly. You are turning around an unhelpful habit. You are training your body and your brain to process difficult situations and emotions in a healthier way. This will pass.
Every single time.
Right now your brain is probably telling you that if you don't listen to the urgent, something bad will happen.
Or that you can't do it.
This is just a negative thought and it's not true.
The more we listen to and react to these negative, self defeating thoughts, the stronger they'll get.
The more you allow the thought to be there, but don't engage with it, the quicker it will fade away over time and it will show up less.
This is true for the feelings.
Our feelings come from our thoughts.
So treat both the same.
We are capable of retraining our brains away from urges, negative thoughts, and feelings of discomfort. But it takes time and consistent practice.
Some situations will be easier than others, but the more you practice, the more you reinforce these positive coping mechanisms.
What you're doing when you give in to the urge is getting short term relief, but long term suffering ensues.
Right now I'm asking you to allow yourself to feel uncomfortable in the short term, but in the long term, sooner than you think, you're going to feel better, more confident.
Capable of setting healthy boundaries for yourself.
Sam.
We're not looking for perfection here.
Over time, you may give in. Sometimes.
This is part of the healing journey.
This is how you learn.
But beating yourself up only causes you more pain.
So always be compassionate with yourself.
Know that you are human and you're not perfect. That's impossible.
Your only job is to keep practicing and not give up.
If you do this, you will continue to grow, improve and get stronger.
Sam.
The wave of urges will come and go. You can write it out every single time.
Each time you do, you're going to get better and better at it. You're creating new neural pathways and strengthening them. Each time you make a different choice than to give in.
Make sure you listen to this regularly, not only when you're experiencing merge, but, but in moments of calm, so you can train your brain to be ready to more easily write out these urges. If you stick with this long enough, the urge is going to fade away and come back less. Some quickly, some more slowly, but it will fade away every single time.
Now let's sit with this urge a little bit and just let it be.
When the thoughts come, you're just going to let them come and go, not giving them any attention.
You're not going to push them away. You're not going to engage with them either.
Your only job is to notice it and choose to let go as quickly as possible.
Satan.
Good job. This is a practice that takes time and consistency. Even meditation masters take years to learn not to engage with the thoughts of what if or what they have to do that day.
If the urge has lessened, that's great. And if not, that's okay too. It can take time.
You can continue to listen to this as you sit with this urge.
Either way, the discomfort and desire to do something about it may be there for a while. Your only job is to allow the discomfort to be there without doing anything about it, mentally or physically.
Acceptance.
I'm going to say it again. Acceptance of uncertainty and imperfection is key.
Sa.
Sam.
