Why Exposure Works for OCD I ROCD I Anxiety

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Hi, my name is Danielle Thornton. I am a life coach and course creator. And today I want to talk about exposure and why it is so helpful for anxiety and ocd. Before we get into the two reasons why it actually works, I first want to talk about why it's so important that we practice exposure. You.

First. I want to talk about the fact that when you have something come up that produces really strong feelings, that means there's something that needs to be looked at. And what a lot of people fear is that, especially with relationship ocd, is that because I have these feelings, it means that, you know, the thoughts are true and that I really need to work on the thoughts. And that's not actually the case. It's not the thoughts that have any importance. It's our reaction and the feelings that are coming up, which come from the thoughts, essentially. But our reaction to it and the strong nature and the suffering that it causes is really what is assigned to us. That there's something that we kind of need to look at and work on within ourselves so that these things don't continue to come up and produce a lot of anxiety. So this could be unhealthy thought patterns, subconscious beliefs that show up. It could be low self esteem, or even just irrational fears that are lying underneath the surface. And the important thing to remember is that we can't avoid these things because the more we try to avoid them, the more they're going to continue to come up. So you've probably heard the saying, the only way to get there is through. So we actually have to face this anxiety and these fears head on in order to heal it. At the root, unfortunately, shortcuts are just not going to get you there. In fact, shortcuts may work short term, but long term, things are going to keep continuing to come back up over and over and over again. And this is why we want to get to the root of the problem and not focus on the symptoms. So some people focus on the racing heart or the feelings that they're feeling that are coming up. And that's why, you know, medications will work a lot on the symptoms and our brain chemistry as well. But working on the symptoms only helps us so much. We need to really get to the root of where is that fear coming from. An example of trying to fix something not at the root that is happening is, let's say someone is a hoarder, which is actually also an anxiety disorder. And you know, they hoard stuff, they keep stu and it's a way of minimizing their anxiety and helping them feel safe. And they pay somebody to come and clean out their house. So somebody comes and helps them organize, helps them get rid of some stuff, helps them put things away, put things in storage, right? This isn't going to work long term unless the person who's experiencing the hoarding and the need to keep things starts to learn why they feel the need to keep things and keep everything, even to the detriment of being safe in their own home, in order to feel comfortable. So that's why we have to get to the root of what's going on. And the way that we do that is by going into the feelings, into the fear, and essentially practicing exposure.

So the reason why exposure works, one of two reasons, either. Number one, you're going to possibly see that the fears and the anxieties that are coming up are very over exaggerated and that you're seeing things in a very skewed way. And oftentimes when we have a lot of fear, but there's no real danger or our fear is exaggerated, we are not seeing through a very clear lens. So we might think that something is happening all the time because it feels like that, but when in reality, it's not happening all the time, it's here and there, and it's not really that big of a deal. Staying hooked into the stories around this and the fear itself is only going to make that grow, not only from a psychological standpoint, but from a physical standpoint. In your brain, you are activating your amygdala and your amygdala is staying activated. So when you stay in these loops, you're continuing to fire and wire that part of your brain, and that is the fight or flight station. So what you want to do is you want to start to use a different part of your brain. And this is exactly what exposure does. Avoidance, or running away from the fear actually just reinforces that fear because we never actually have the opportunity to see and prove to ourselves and our brains that that fear is exaggerated until we actually expose ourselves to it and, and see what's actually there. The second reason why exposure works is because you're going to habituate yourself to those feelings that you're experiencing when you go a little bit deeper into that fear or when you expose yourself to that fear. So when we habituate ourselves to something, we frequently expose ourselves to the stimulus, which actually decreases the emotional response. Because what we're doing is when we continue to expose ourselves to something, we have no option but to get used to that thing, to adapt. And the More that we do that we are going to adapt. But by feeding into the anxiety and fear and avoiding, we are doing the opposite. We're not allowing ourselves to adapt to that thing. And the more we do that, the more our anxiety and our fear is going to grow because we're teaching ourselves that that's the coping mechanism we're going to choose and we don't allow ourselves to adapt. The reality is that the anxiety that we're suffering from, the fear and everything that goes along with it is often so much worse than the thing that we're actually fearing itself. I know for me that I had a lot of perceptions about my partner. Some were partially true, but a lot of them were not. And I was exaggerating it and I was seeing through a lens that was very clouded and very filled with fear versus the reality and coming from a confident, comfortable place. And just remember, exposure is not going to have anything to do with the outcome, right? By practicing exposures, it's important not to feel like you're in control of some kind of outcome. Like if you expose yourself to it, it's less likely to happen. That's not necessarily the case. Again, this is more about you and how you are working through your own fear so that you're able to adapt and see the reality of what's really going on and learn how to expose yourself to the feelings, the symptoms, the emotions. And you will find very quickly actually, that as you start doing this, your anxiety is definitely going to decrease.

I would also like to note that I highly suggest that you practice this with somebody who is an expert. So either a therapist or a coach like myself who is very familiar with exposure and how it works for ocd. It's really helpful to have someone to kind of walk you through it, help you know where to start with exposure, how to do it. There's a lot of information out there and you can practice it on your own, but having that help and somebody to kind of walk you through it can be very, very important and help you work through it a lot more easily. So if you are interested in that help, I have some information below in the comments on different ways that I can help you work through that. Whether it be through my group coaching program or my one on one coaching or other videos here. Make sure you check all that out because it is definitely possible to heal and get better.

Sam.