Why You Have OCD & How to Get Rid of It
Danielle Jhiani explains OCD as a combination of genetic predisposition and learned fear responses, often picked up from parents. Recovery means retraining your brain to tolerate intrusive thoughts instead of avoiding them, breaking the amygdala's hyperfocus on threats.
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Welcome back. My name is Danielle Thornton Gianni. I'm an anxiety and OCD recovery coach and I help people reach lifetime recovery from anxiety, OCD and compulsive behaviors, just like I did. So you can have a great life and successful relationships. Today we're going to talk about why you have OCD and again, how to get rid of it. Essentially scientifically, they do not know yet why some of us have ocd. Why did I get it, my sister didn't. We don't really know. They do think that there is a genetic component combined with some learned behavior. So many of us, most of us actually have a parent with some sort of anxiety disorder or mental health disorder. And there is a belief that some of us are just born genetically predisposed to this. Now in my life, whether it was anxiety or ocd, it was always there for me. I struggled a lot with social anxiety as a child, a lot of avoidance behavior. So that was kind of in between that anxiety and OCD tendencies. And my mom had a lot of fears in her life and anxiety. So we pick up a lot on what our parents are doing subconsciously. Right? We're always observing them and they are our beacon for coping mechanisms and behaviors. And even though my dad didn't really experience much anxiety and he was actually a lot more mentally healthy or a lot better mental skills, for whatever reason, I had a lot more of those fear based tendencies from my mom. And so technically I didn't really learn how to push myself. I didn't learn how to push myself towards difficult things, to do things that scared me. And I learned a lot of avoidance techniques. Again, nobody taught me this. They didn't do it on purpose, but it was observed and learned over time. And so as I got older, I didn't have those coping mechanisms. So I continued to avoid uncomfortable situations, not, not really know what to do with big uncomfortable feelings and just avoiding things that were scary or uncomfortable. And at some point that anxiety gets worse and worse because again, life gets harder as we get older, in some ways we experience more challenging situations, we develop relationships with challenges, we have bigger decisions to make. And so over time, life gets a little harder. We may lose some confidence in our coping mechanisms and the anxiety may get worse and worse. And then we have negative experiences that sometimes play a part into this. A lot of us have had traumatic experiences that happen to us and again, these aren't the reason why typically for ocd, but they can play a part for sure. They either reinforce those fear based thoughts that we already have which can play a part into the fear and make it worse. And again, it can get worse over time. It can start young for some people. Other people, it doesn't show up until they're older. A lot of times it's a slow progression. And so a lot of us find ourselves analyzing a lot why we have ocd, looking into the past, looking at our past situations and experiences, and really trying to figure out the core of why we have it. Because the brain thinks that if we can figure out the why, that there's a solution there. And the reality is, with some things, that is the case, but with this, it's not really the case because what's happening is just a pattern in the brain. Your brain is hyper focusing on things that might go wrong or be wrong. It thinks that certain topics and themes are something that it needs to pay attention to and protect you from. And depending on how you're engaging with this, it either gets better or worse. The brain is just doing its job. And so looking at OCD as an enemy isn't really helpful. I actually look at it as something that was trying to protect me. And the great thing is you can partner with your OCD to get better. You can actually learn to react in a way that quiets it down. Essentially what eliminates OCD from our lives is, is retraining the amygdala, the part of the brain that is giving you these intrusive thoughts, fear based thoughts, or perceiving certain situations as scary, or avoiding discomfort in a new way so that these intrusive thoughts go away. Your brain determines that finally these particular things aren't scary. Doesn't mean that there aren't risks, but we learn to get comfortable with the little amounts of risks that are actually there versus thinking that there's big risk. When we retrain our brain, it no longer gives us intrusive thoughts because we are telling it that this isn't something that you need to be afraid of. I can handle it. This isn't something that you need to continue to look out for. You don't need to continue to hyper focus and look for things that might go wrong. You don't need to continue to hyper focus and find out things that might currently be wrong or imperfect in this situation. You don't need to continue to warn me and keep me safe by shrinking my life and avoiding certain situations that might be triggers. Because I have learned that I can handle it. And I've learned that the stories that you tell me actually rarely come true. The stories that you're that you tell me are exaggerated and they're fear based. And fear is not factual. Fear is almost always exaggerated. And most of the time things don't happen like that. And in the rare circumstance that something doesn't go our way, I actually handle it fine. Because again, I'm no longer in this place of fear. I'm in a place of strength. And when that happens, we can handle anything that life throws at us. And as we go through this recovery journey to quiet OCD down, this part of the brain quiet quiets down. And the rest of your brain, the you, the strong part of your brain, the confident part of your brain takes over and you're able to handle a lot more. And your brain no longer gives you intrusive thoughts, fear based thoughts, anxiety triggers don't trigger you anymore. Again, the why doesn't matter. What matters is what we do today in response. Because we cannot change the past. And even if we figured out why we have ocd, it's not going to change anything. It's not going to change what's happening today, how we're reacting with compulsions that's actually making it worse. I have personally done this and I see people do it every day. It is very, very possible. It's just a matter of learning how to react differently to these thoughts and starting to practice. This process takes time because like me, a lot of you have been struggling with these patterns. Maybe not full blown o but these patterns of discomfort and avoidance for a very, very long time and needing certainty and running away from uncomfortable feelings and feeling overwhelmed by a lot of things because we don't know how to handle hard things or uncomfortable things. And while yes, it is uncomfortable to start to do this, it's no more uncomfortable than you're already experiencing. And that discomfort is temporary because what follows is more comfort. What follows is more confidence. What follows is less OCD symptoms. What follows is being present in our relationships, present in our lives, chasing our goals, having confidence. I see this happen every day and my life is completely turned around because of this and I've made it my life goal to help others do the same. So I hope this was helpful for you. Please subscribe. Like Comment Let me know if these videos are helpful for you to support this channel and help me provide more information for you. If you want help on your recovery journey, the link is in the description for my cost effective recovery programs. You would be very surprised at how low of a cost you can choose to get better. It doesn't have to be expensive, it is just a matter of getting the right tools, the right education and the right support along the way and sticking with it as you continue through the journey. It takes time. I wish I could tell you it's quick. It's not quick for most people, but it is improvement little by little by little. The journey is the best part of the process. The experience that you're going to get, the skills that you're going to learn. They've helped me in every area of my life, and they're really going to help you, too. So thank you so much for watching today, and we will talk to you very soon.
