Why Your Intrusive Thoughts Keep Coming Back

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Welcome back. My name is Danielle Thornton. I'm an anxiety and OCD recovery coach who is in the recovery stage for several subsets of ocd, and I've been helping others do the same for years. Today I want to talk about why intrusive thoughts keep coming back. And there is essentially two reasons. Number one, intrusive thoughts are actually very normal a lot of times, and I know I was the same way. We think that intrusive thoughts are not normal, that there's something wrong with these thoughts and that we shouldn't be getting them. But one thing that I've learned over the years, the more people that I talk to with and without ocd, I've learned that the types of thoughts that we get, despite the subset, are very, very normal. It doesn't mean that every intrusive thought that we get is common for every person, but most of them are quite normal. Strange thoughts happen all the time. The example that I use all the time is you're driving over a bridge and you have the thought of, what if I drive off this bridge? And you kind of picture it and you're like, ugh, that was kind of scary and weird for most people, they don't give that thought any more attention. They recognize it as a strange, kind of creepy thought, and then they move on and they keep driving and singing the music.

But for somebody with ocd, they might feed into this thought or read into it and be like, why did I have that thought? Do I actually want to drive off the bridge? And they might think about their arms turning in that direction. Right? Strange thoughts that follow a strange thought. When we give negative thoughts, whether that's just a negative thought or an OCD intrusive thought, attention, it feeds that thought. When we think about it more and more and more, we go deeper into that thought and we create more subsequent thoughts, essentially going down the rabbit hole. But what I want you to know is the thoughts that you're getting are quite normal. And essentially, one of the overarching things I want people to learn is that we get to choose which thoughts we give attention to and which ones we don't. If the thought doesn't make us feel good, let's not give it attention, Right? And then we're not going to feel so crummy afterwards, because our thoughts create our feelings. Now, while intrusive thoughts or weird, strange, random, uncertain, doubtful thoughts are quite normal, you're going to get a lot more of them if you have ocd, because you are giving them more attention. And that is why you're getting more and more intrusive thoughts. OCD wants to get your attention. This part of the brain, the fear center of your brain, is trying to get your attention. So when it knocks on your door and you answer it, you're giving it attention. When you're ruminating, engaging with it and analyzing it, seeking reassurance and checking and all of it, you're giving it more attention. And your brain is going, cool, he or she is giving me attention, I'm going to give her or him more of these thoughts. When we don't give the thoughts attention, the brain goes, oh well, they're not paying attention to me or at least this part of the brain and it's going to fade away. So essentially the more you give these thoughts attention, the more of them you're going to get. But also, if you are a human being with a human brain, you are going to get weird, strange thoughts. There are going to be times of uncertainty where you're going to have doubts and you're going to have questions. Okay? This is part of life. So I have been in the recovery stage for quite some time. What that means is I don't let these types of thoughts bother me. Typically I don't go into them now. I have times of uncertainty where I feel a little bit more on edge or anxious. That's part of being a human being. And a lot of us here will always lean a little bit more anxious. So I might be a little bit more anxious in general than someone who doesn't have anxiety or ocd. But I've learned with ERP and other very important techniques, ERP being the foundation though, how to manage this, how not to go down that spiral. And I do it very well now. It's become automatic. I've had years of practice, I've learned it really well and I've practiced enough time and been consistent enough to keep myself there. So if you're expecting strange, weird, doubtful, uncertain thoughts just to go away, you are fighting the inevitable. This is impossible. We're going to get fear based thoughts, we're going to have uncertainty. Okay? So even when you're doing better, don't expect this just to go away. That's just ocd. Wanting perfection. It wants perfection and certainty. And we have to start to learn what to do when our brain wants perfection and certainty. And we do this by learning from a professional who can teach it to you effectively, using the skills consistently, not expecting it to go away, but using the skills the best you can and getting support anytime you need help with it. I see so many people trying to do this on their own or thinking they know everything that they need to know to get better when there's still work to do and still things that they need to know and they're not getting the right support and right help to work through that. And they're often accepting that they're just never gonna get better. This is how it's gonna be. That is not the case if you continue to learn and practice ERP effectively and ask for help when you need it. I work with people over and over and over again until they're in that recovery stage and sometimes they're comfortable there with the skills and I don't hear from them again and other times they might need a follow up here just to get the support. Knowing that someone understands what you're going through and that can help push you in that right direction because your brain's telling you to go this way and recovery requires you to go this way is really, really crucial. So if you want help and support to get to the recovery stage and maintain the recovery stage for ocd, please check out the link in the description below. I have coaching options and cost effective membership options for all of you to get there. Recovery is we'll talk to you next time.