Ep. 36 Time Mining

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You know, that act in itself is taking back control. So it's like taking control there is. If you have the passion, if you have the desire, if you have the emotion behind certain things or things you need to do, then that empowers you that that's going to help you really dig in. Hello friends. You are listening to the All Things Good for you podcast. I'm your host, Brian Bowen, founder of.

Integrative Health, Inc. And I'm Amy Christiansen, your co host and creator of Amy Christiansen Health and Wellness Coaching.

Join us as we explore the world of health and wellness and all things that make you feel good. From ancient traditions to modern advancements in technologies that give you the tools for.

A life well lived, what new paths might you discover on your health and wellness journey? Tune in each week as we deep dive into a variety of concepts and hear from other fun, passionate health and wellness experts on their experiences and philosophies.

And remember, stay open minded and integrated. Good morning.

Good morning.

How are you doing, Amy?

So good. It is December.

It is December. Is it? Wait, what is December now? Is it.

It's so close. No, it's only the 27th of November. Look at me. I.

Where's the time go? Where does the time go?

I've. I'm in a total loss without my calendar. I better, I better look at what day it is. I decorate for Christmas on the, on Thanksgiving. Don't everybody hate me? So in my head, it's already December because I've got Christmas decorations up.

That's. That's ambitious. That's very, very ambitious. Does Tavi like to play with the Christmas decorations?

No. I did drop one little one and he thought it was a ball. But he's really good. He knows his, he's got his toys in a basket and he knows that that's his. So if it's not food, he, he won't really mess with anything he does. Good.

No, yeah, it's. I feel like the break. This one has definitely been like yesterday. I'm like, is it Friday? Is it? And then I'm like, oh my gosh, I have so much time to do so many other things too. It's amazing.

Well, it's amazing both of. Of took a little. We. We take a little break from the podcast here for a couple weeks. For a few weeks. And yeah, we needed a. I feel like we needed a little step back. And when you come back into it, it's. It is kind of like, wow, look at all this time we have.

I know. I went on a vacation with my pops.

I know that. How was it?

It was great. Weather was great. It was a perfect, perfect trip. Time well spent. Notice how I keep using the word time over and over. That's because we're going to be talking.

About time and what's priority. Well, I'm glad you made a priority out of, like, hanging out with your dad and spending time with him and traveling, experiencing new things and, you know, that's the way it goes. We. We have to take away from some things to get other things done. So. Yeah, if not, you'll probably be a mad crazy person and not really enjoying life.

Yeah, no, it was, it was awesome. It was very much. I totally focused and put my energy into that trip and our relationship and experience together. I, you know, I moved it to my. It was my. A priority and I put everything else down and it was. It was pretty special. So highly recommended. If you haven't done a trip with your parents as an adult, one on one, it was, it was beautiful.

Yeah, that's an important thing. Spend time with your parents.

So now that we're back at it and making time and prioritizing, today we are going to be talking about time and how important the things that you're doing in life are and where your time's going. But we're going to peel this onion and get a little deeper with it instead of just prioritizing time. And I have a little quote. Can I share it?

Amy, I love your quotes. I know they're not yours, but the ones you find, I love them.

Of course, there's, there's. There's two. Uh, but. But this one's kind of fun because I think that. That we're all kind of can be victims of not taking personal agency over our time. And so this quote is from Michael Usher, and it says, the bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot. And I think that that is just so important because I feel like when I hear people and I. I just don't have time for this. If you really look at it, somebody else is prioritizing your calendar. Calendar taking that time. And we have to really evaluate is it something the things that we're doing. Is it moving us forward? Is it joyful? Is it helping us grow? Is it helping inspire us? Is it. Or is it an energy drained? Does it bring stress? And is it something that's holding you back or creating stagnation which we'll, we'll get into. So instead of just prioritizing my day, we want to get deeper into taking a peek at what is happening, what are your choices and you know, taking again personal agency over time. And remember you're the pilot. So I love it.

And we are in a lot of times. I know people who have a lot happening in their life, a lot going on, a lot of responsibilities. I know they don't feel like they are pilots of their life. You know, I know a lot of parents in particular who are juggling or maybe even single parents are juggling things, trying, trying to take care of all the activities and they have children. Children are often the pilot of the. There are some things that's a whole another podcast, but there are some things you can do to reorganize that. I have a very close friend that we just chatted the other day about just kind of how to take a step back and what to recognize juggling all these kids activities is, you know, at 5 and 7 and 8 or something like that. And like, you know what, I'm pretty sure they're still going to be functioning adults and make it into college or a good business or whatever that their goals are in their 20s and 30s. If they miss some activities as a seven year old they don't have to be enrolled in every possible thing all the time. I was, I kind of restricted my kids when they were little to certain activities at certain times of the year. So I would sit down and look at like okay, Nick really loved, wanted to play football and Jade was really good, you know, she was in violin and how we could prioritize that through the year. And thank God I only had two to deal with because I can't imagine having like four or five and trying to figure all that out. But I just made sure that we didn't overlap a lot because I was not going to be one. Me being crazy and out of control trying to run my kids from one event to the next event. Go and pick this one up and then run that one over here and that one over there. And I didn't think it was going to be healthy for my kids either. I didn't think my children needed be constantly raised in an environment where they have to have something going on all the time. Because guess what, Those. A lot of times those children grow up to be adults who learn to live with busyness and chaos and they don't feel just okay being quiet and being with themselves or not having something to push them or be doing all the time. And that creates a lot of stress and inability to kind of stop and look and see where you're at with your life, see what's important to you. So when we're talking about priorities today, one of the things we mentioned was like, some people can't get a handle on priorities and they feel like they're being busy because that's what they grew up with. That's what feels normal.

Yeah. Well, to your point, like, that was a lot of. Of noise, if you will, of busy. Like you could feel that busy energy. And, and to that point in there, if we really take the time, I'm calling it time mining for time. If we really spend time to take the time to look for time. Right. And mine for that time and really look at all the little things that you're doing week in and week out, all the little things that you're doing. You know, that in itself, that act is taking control of your time. Right. Because when you were going through all that, I really had a sense of, you know, definitely not being the pilot of time. And I totally agree. Your employer, your employment, your kids, your. All the. All those things can easily take that seat. But if we take the time to really, really sit down and mind for your time and really look at the different things that we're doing, I have like a little grading scale that I like and how to kind of prioritize things. You know, that act in itself is taking back control. So it's like taking control. There is. If you have the passion, if you have the desire, if you have the emotion behind things or things you need to do, then that empowers you, that. That's going to help you really dig and, you know, control that. So sometimes it's saying no and not allowing those kids to have such a busy schedule. And. But there's. There's more than what we think. And you know, there's another little quote, Lost time is never found. Right. And so we need to just really put a lot more value, a lot more emotion, a lot more feelings and, and stuff around time, you know, more than. More than what we are right now. It's so precious.

Right? Yep. And I know I went on a little bit of a wild.

No, that's good. But again, that, that to that point like that's how it made me feel. It made me feel like, oh my God, like I was overwhelmed. And, and I'm like, I, I don't have time for all this. I didn't even have time to, you.

Know, it's a perfect example of that. The diagram of how men's brains work and women's, men's is like this, like this like little arrow that goes 1, 2, 3. And then the women's is like spaghetti and it's like all over the place and you're like spaghetti, you have spaghetti.

Thoughts, your mind, it all goes all.

Over like when you know one little thought and then it grows into all these things to come back to the one thing that was a perfect example of how often times women and men think differently.

But it is, but it was, it was perfect. And, and it's easy. I mean, working on with people and treating people. You know, we give it, we give some helpful tips and we give some tools and we give some techniques and, and then you do your follow up session with somebody and you're like, hey, how did that, you know, extra meditation time go? And, or how did these exercises, were you able to do these exercises? And 9 out of 10 times, and I just want to commend everybody who does do it that extra. And maybe nine out of ten is, is not giving enough. Maybe it's, you know, seven out of ten people will come in and say, you know what? I honestly, I was so busy this week, I just didn't have the time. Right. I was so overwhelmed, I just didn't have the time. And so the amount of times we hear somebody say I just didn't have the time again, what does that really mean? Like, you know, there's, and especially with it, when it's, you know how critical it is if you're, if you're having anxiety and your stress is a 12 out of 10, right. So you're just, you're overwhelmed. Your, your brain's just mentally chewing on stuff over, over. It's causing you to have problems with sleep. It's pro. Causing you to have problems with your interactions with people. And you're just irritable. And you know that giving yourself that extra time to, to put some stress management techniques or, and to do that meditation or to do that exercise or to do that, whatever is so critical, but you couldn't find time for it, right?

So yeah, the hard part of that is, is that it's just not a priority. It's either you don't, you don't believe in it, you don't believe that the thing is going to get you the thing, or you're afraid of the thing it's going to get you to get to, or you just. It's not really that important to you. I mean, that's just all there is to it because you will do what you have to do. Your most important things you absolutely find time for. And obviously, you know, throughout the day, there are times where you have to push things away or take care of some things before other things. And, you know, you. You do prioritize the things that are needing to be taken care of. And if you're not doing it over and over and over again, it's really just not important to you or you don't see the real value and reward in it. No.

I just had a thought. Brendan Burchard has this thing where he says there's three types of pain. There's process pain, loss pain, and outcome pain. And so process pain is the pain of the process of going through it, right? Taking. So in this instance, taking. Taking the time to go do that thing, and then what are you going to potentially lose? You know, why you're doing that. So, you know, the example would be you have a busy job and you have deadlines. Maybe you're a software engineer and you have these, you know, these. These deadlines for meeting these certain things. But you're having all this overwhelmed stuff and that stress and that anxiety and, you know, you need to go exercise because that's one thing that helps you relieve stress. And you don't do it because you're afraid if you take the time to do that, you might miss these deadlines or you might. Da, da, da. So that's a type of. Of process pain. Or what you were saying is maybe the outco not gonna reap the rewards. And so that's a loss pain. Right.

Or. Or what are you. Yeah. And what are you willing to give up? Like you. You ha. If you want to get to something, a lot of times you have to give up something to get there. And a lot of people aren't willing to do the. Let go of something in order to get what they think they want. Like, they're. They're holding on to things. So is that. Would that fit under his loss?

Yeah, yeah. The other was fit into the process pain. What do you have to give up to. To do that or. No, that might be a loss that's lost. Sorry, I need to, like, drill that down a little bit more. And again, some of this stuff, like when we're talking about, like, when you talk about time management, where you talk about, you know, this stuff, another example or quote he says is just common practice or common sense doesn't mean common practice. Right? But that's why I think taking this to another level and having a conversation about it is really going to help drill that in more. Because I think, you know, when you just talk about it on the surface or the superficial, it's like, oh yeah, I know, I know I need to prioritize my day better. I'm just not the best at that. And it's like, well, it's more than prioritizing the day. Like, what are those things in your life that you're doing? Like, who do you want to become? What goals do you have? What, how do you want to show up? How do they do the things that you're doing on a daily basis? Are they supporting these things?

Right?

Are you spending more time doing mundane stuff than you are of doing the big stuff? Did you ever remember? It's a. I think it's like a little Buddhist fable or something. There was a glass jar. And so you have this big picture, this jar, and there's a line, right? There's a limit to the top of this thing. And so you have three different rocks. You have like sand, and then you have those medium sized pebbles and then you have these large ones, right? And the sand is all the mundane stuff in life, right? The just this bullshit. And then the medium sized rocks are more important. And then the big, you know, rocks are the most important things. And so most of us are putting the sand in first. We're doing that first, right? The mundane stuff. And then if you put the sand in first, you put the, you know, the next rocks in, it's going to overflow. But if you put the big rocks in first, the most important things, and then you put the medium sized ones in, they're gonna, it's gonna fall and fill in the cracks, right? And the space and the voids left where between the big rocks. And then if you do the mundane stuff last, it's gonna fill and fill in all those little crevices and all that stuff. And therefore you will never overflow. And so I guess in a way that's kind of, you know, what we should be doing with our time, right? Like, so that's why, you know, I have that little grading system of A, B, C. Right? The A is like, what's the most important, the most important things? And what does that mean?

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So I just rambled a little bit, so I'm going to let you jump in here.

But no, I'm stuck on.

I want to ramble some more.

I'm stuck on the, the imagery because then you put the water in. What does the water, what does the water represent there?

In this example, there is no water.

But you could put water in there and it'll soak into the sand and get even deeper in and you got yet another thing in there. So what does the sand represent? Brian, we're going to work on this.

Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna redo it because this is 2000 year old. 2000 year old fables. Not needs to be. It needs to evolve. It's kind of like our constitution. It's ever evolving. Right.

I've got to figure out what the water represents. If you got water going into that jar, you're really overdoing yourself, I think. I think that's like the ultimate level of busyness, right?

Well, yeah, but at the same time, water though, from a Chinese medicine, the water element is purpose. It's our deep resource. It's purpose. So, yeah, I don't know. We're gonna work, we're gonna work on this one.

All right, I like it. But what our point is is like you can, I get what you're saying. Like we can be so busy, right? And if you're not, like, you got to put your, the big things first and the next things and the smaller things and little nuances and you got to take a step back and go, what. How does this all fit forward and move forward into what I design my life to be? Where am I flying this plane? You know? And I, I feel like there's so many people that don't even realize they're on a plane, you know, they're like, I'm not only not the pilot, but I didn't even know I was on a plane. I'm just trying to breathe. And you know, I think, I know we've talked a lot about taking some steps back and taking some time to be self reflective, doing some meditated work. And people have a hard time with meditation, just sitting still, quieting their brain, sitting in their own thoughts. And I. There's just a large portion of society that's just not even able to stop long enough to think about what they want their life to look like.

That falls into that whole growth mindset versus fixed mindset too. If you're the growth mindset person who's looking at what you're doing on a daily basis and that's looking at your calendar and that's looking at your things you say yes to in life and no to in life, it's going to look very different than a fixed mindset, you know, person who is, is looking at their calendar and, and you know, looking at their weeks and looking at their tasks. So I think that that's an important shift. First of all, just if you are going to sit down and look at this, are you. Again, the questions are, should be related to growth mindset questions. Is this helping you move forward? Is this making you happy? Is this supporting your goals? Is this, you know, getting you to where you need to, where you, where you want to be or the person who you want to be or the things that you want to be doing in life?

So yeah, what is that? Yeah, what does that look like? What do you. And a lot of times I don't. I'm always impressed if I meet a younger person who has that perspective, somebody in their 20s and early 30s, if they're in a place already where they're like, okay, how do I want my life to be? What kind of person do I want to show up as? What does integrity mean to me? What does happiness mean to me? You know, what do I not want to have my life look like? I think we're probably doing that a little bit more in our later years because we just have that wisdom and we've had enough experience maybe to clarify so that we do know what we do or don't want. I don't know. I do. I feel like as a younger person I had some ideas, but of course they, they changed as I got older and I, you know, pivoted, which has to be again, we can put that fixed mindset, growth mindset Like I believed life is pliable, I could change, I could re move and jump over and do something different and change my life when I wanted to. I had that growth mindset of things are changeable and I can learn and do things differently. If you fix mindset, right? You're like, nope, this is the way life is. I'm stuck with this. This is what I've done. Now I'm going to be in this thing for the rest of my life. So you have to one, be willing to look at your life but to believe that you can make a change. And that's big. That's big process and daily process. Right. So we, we're talking about the big picture but as you've mentioned, we kind of break it down. Okay. Life goals, decade goals, year goals, monthly, weekly, daily. Right.

And that's if you guys haven't read the book the One Thing. Yeah that is by Gary Keller and Jay Pepasson. But that's kind of a good, that's a good book to read. And that's big too. I mean it's, it's. I like his formula and that can go to definitely those bigger things. But sometimes it's also just the small things. And I'm just going to use an example and kind of pull this back if that's okay. Just so it's not so overwhelming and big just for a minute. But like I have not been happy recently with the amount of exercise that I'm getting and I just wanted to go do a little bit more. Right. Because to me it's very much about, it's just super important, it's critical and so I love it. And I was kind of some resentment. So the days, my big days that I go into the, to the office, I was trying to get more sleep so I stopped getting up as early. And anyway my time just isn't my time. So I have these big longer 13 hour kind of days. But I, I did some time mining. Right. And so when I broke down the process to give you an example, I decided I'm just going to go to bed earlier. So now I go to bed on those days at 9 or 9:30 and then I get up at 4:30 and then it's important to me that I sit on the couch for an hour and I like to kind of quiet my mind and meditate and drink coffee and you can meditate and drink coffee at the same time. I've proven it. And then I take a quick shower and then I'm able. Now I do a 20 minute spin class and I do core. So on those days I do cardio and core. But it's nice because it's like to challenge yourself and to feel something hard that you overcome first thing in the morning makes me feel like I can overcome anything throughout the day. Right. And it just helps me manage everything so much better. But the reward is I. I conquered it. I found the time to do it. Right. I. It didn't seem possible. I'm like, how do I. I don't have any more time in this day. Yeah. But I just did a little time mining, shifted some stuff around because it was that important to me. It was an A. Like on my grading system. It was an A. It was something that I really wanted to do. And then you have to put the motion behind it. How is it going to make me feel if I do this right? What is the outcome going to be? What is the reward going to be? So I put that emotion behind it because it was an A thing. Put the emotion behind it, made it happen. And the reward is. Is everything I thought it would be and more. So anyway, congratulations. Well, thank you very much. Yes. Thank you.

Well, and there's so much behind just. I mean you get the one thing done in the morning, but there's so much behind the exercise in the morning on like so much science and dopamine release and achievements and energy and circulation and all these other things that go in well with getting in even just like a quick 10 minute burst. Exercise first thing in the morning or conquering the one thing. What was the thing about eating the frog first?

I don't know. I grew up in the Midwest and I ate frogs one time and I'm not gonna eat a frog again.

Eat the frog or something. Yeah. There. I mean it's just. You do the, the thing that's really hard first.

Yeah.

And getting. I think it was Brian. Yes. Brian Tracy. That's. I think you can claim to that or whatever. But identify the hardest, most important task or the hardest task for the day. Do that as soon as you can first thing in the morning. And you will. You'll just. Your rest of your day goes well and you'll feel successful even if you're not accomplishing everything that you think you need to be doing. And then there's the two minute thing too. Right. Stacking your two minute. If it's gonna. If it's a. It's a thing that takes you two minutes.

Just knocking out the small things.

Right. Just do it immediately. Right. I think there's one example of like making eggs in the morning. You mix it up, up, pour it into the pan and you set the bowl into the sink. And then you go about your day and eat your breakfast. And then you go back, you know, it's like just take that second to wash the bowl and dry it and put away so it's done. And then you don't have like eggs of steel on the bowl later glued to the bowl.

Are you gonna make me some eggs? I feel like you should make me some eggs.

I do a pretty good job with eggs. I do pretty good job with eggs.

Another on thinking about time too, I just was reflecting back on other things that I commonly hear or people that, you know, I see in the clinic and treat and a lot of things that. A common thing that I hear often with people that have high stress levels and some anxiousness and some sleep stuff when I'm treating them with acupuncture is they tend to overthink and over worry. And so if you think about this as it relates to time, one of the things I try to help guide them to is to put a time boundary around when you want to spend time worrying so it's not trickled throughout your whole day. Right. And, and so first of all, we haven't talked about the grading system, but A's are the most important thing. Right. B would be the second most important thing. Like how much, how important is this to you? Does it support all these things? C, D, E? So just because we're so familiar with that, you know, all of our lives being graded that way, I kind of like to stick to it. And so what would you give worry? Like, would you give worry an A? I wouldn't. Would you give it a B? I wouldn't give it A. I know.

But I think some people would.

I really would. But that's why they need to stop and evaluate like asset. Because a lot of people don't ask themselves that question in that way. Well, I have to worry about it because.

Right.

And their, their ego mind is involved with it. I have to worry about it because if I don't, then what about my grandchild in relationship to their, you know, their, their dad and this, you know what I mean? It's stuff out of their control. Right. Of course. You know, worry doesn't mean if you're not worrying, it doesn't mean you don't care. But if you let worrying overthinking over consume you, it's going to have really bad health consequences. And so if worry, if you want to say well, worries, really. And overthinking is important to me. I'm going to give it a second C. So maybe it's not a B or, you know, you're not giving it an F. Okay, well, then where are you going to put that in your calendar? Where are you going to put that? Let's. Let's put some boundaries around it so it doesn't eat you up. Right. So I'm like, you know, give yourself permission to worry and think about stuff and to, you know, go there from like three to four. Right. Or four to five. Like, put it in your calendar like, this is the time because you don't want to lay down in your bed at the end of the day. And now you start to contemplate and have all the worry about your kids and what they're doing and maybe the situation that happened at the office and this and that. So, you know, really, again, you're the pilot. Let's put some boundaries around stuff. You're in control. You got this.

And there's so much more we can talk about on anxiety. And another podcast I think would be helpful. Just some tools to help people with their anxiety, because it's not always that easy for a lot of people who really, truly struggle with anxiety. And we're certainly not downplaying. But in the scope of. Here are the things that I've got to kind of ponder and think about and process. You should have a time set for that.

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Looking to get out there and feel the in your hair. Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bolt bold style that's sure to you away. And with Silverado, EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease. And Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence. Chevrolet together, let's drive.

I think it's what you're saying, like.

Okay, yeah, because it helps give you. It helps you take control. It helps you grab a hold of it again. Because if we let our minds and we let other people's schedules or other things totally just, you know, take over, we loot. We Lose, you know, we're not the pilot anymore and you know, we use that, that saying when we were talking about some of the things most people spend the first halves of their lives using their health to chase their wealth and the second using their wealth to chase their health. Same thing with time, right? Like you have, you have kids, you know, at an earlier age and you have these jobs and you're trying to make all this money. So you retire and you're trying to do all this stuff. So you know, it, the, the value of time, you know, is going to places maybe it shouldn't and then all of a sudden the kids leave the house, you start reaching retirement and now you have to, you, you're like, try to make up for all this lost time. And remember what was the quote we said earlier? Lost times never found. So instead of doing that later in life, just like the same thing of using the wealth for their health because they've let it deteriorate, like take control of it now. And so therefore you have this, you know, better management and control and, and quality of life and quality of time that you're spending, you know, week in and week out. So.

Yep. Well, and I think, you know, you've got a, again, you've got a what Stephen Covey did the urgent, the four quadrants. So you have like, you have four squares and you have urgent and non urgent across the top, important and not important across the side. And then you cross reference that. So if it's urgent and how important is it, right, that's your first quadrant. If it's not really urgent but it's still important, that's your second quadrant. And then if it's not important really but it is urgent, then that's your third quadrant. And then the last quadrant is not important and not urgent urgent. So you've got to look at like, okay, now I'm going to have those four quadrants. If in comparison to like you have your A, B, C, D, right. How does that affect you? Long. You've got to be able to recognize like how important is this? You've got to figure out like I think a lot of times people that have a lot of anxiety if they sit down and process through what would happen if whatever they think is an A didn't happen, whether it was I didn't do it or I didn't take care of it or this thing happened and then what if I think Tim Ferriss has a worst case scenario type approach to things when he's trying to make a decision, he actually Thinks it through like, okay, if I don't do this, what's the worst possible thing that could happen? If I don't make this business investment or if I don't take care of this with my business and I choose to go on this vacation and this happens while I'm on vacation, this could be the worst possible thing. What would that be? Would that, would I be willing to not go on this vacation or take this time off if one of these things happened while I was gone? Or what could I do to circumvent that? What can I hand this off to? What can I set up ahead of time to circumvent that problem? And then he is able to better process, okay, now I can go on my vacation and not worry about it. So he uses it like that. He works back, he back works the fear process. And then with quadrants like you, you've got to be able to say, well, this is the most important thing. That's what I've got to focus on first. And then I can work through quadrant two. And how does all of that stair step and build to what your most important goal is? Right. So you've got to be able to look at the A, B and C, but you've got to identify what's important and then enable to identify what's important. How much involvement you have would be based off of what would it look like if I didn't do this or this thing didn't happen?

I love it. And that's another great framework and it's so good. There's so many available frameworks like you mentioned. So whether you're using an A, B, C kind of grading system, whether you're using the quadrants, whether you're using the, the one thing model, you know, there's so many ways of thinking about it, but put some emotion behind it and really be honest. Right? And because, because if you're putting that emotion behind it, what would I, you know, if I did this thing, how would it make me feel if I were able to do this? What, you know, what would that bring me? Does it get me closer to my goals? Does it, is it again, is it a forward moving kind of energy versus a stagnant energy? And of course you have to do some things that like you don't want to do, but you got, you know, like who wants to sit down and balance the checkbook or, you know, whatever. But there's plenty of stuff if we're honest. And again, whether you look at a quadrant that we have to really look at the importance of it. And you know, social media, the time spent on social media is one, right? Time spent watching Netflix. Time spent and not Netflix, but any streaming, right? Like it's good to, you know, have time. Like I love to watch an hour of something, but you know, six hours, four hours, like, you know, can you shave that back a little bit? You know, are there. Are there. Where are these opportunities that aren't a. Or, you know, the specific quadrant to, to support you in that and you know, so, you know, take a, take a hard, honest look and are you thinking about it from a growth mindset or fixed mindset?

Yeah. And I think that's it. You got to be willing to take a step back and really have an honest look. Okay. If you have a binge day once or once a year or whatever, is that going to ruin and derail the rest of all of the year's plan? Probably not. Are you making it a regular. Is that happening every week, every month? That's probably going to be derailing your overall plans, right? So sometimes you actually do need like a complete break from reality and stress. Like people. What is. Somebody calls it like a productive procrastinating. They call it, well, you could be a sprinter or a procrastinator. So some people do things on purpose to put off because they actually do better when they have. They force themselves into a focus. And then some people will. I do this often myself. Like I will clean house as a way to quote, unquote, procrastinate on something else. But it's really not. It's kind of a productive procrastination because I can let my brain rest and actually get good creative thinking processes done when one, my house is clean and organized because I'm an environment person and to that time of quietness of my mind actually settles my brain so that like an idea will come to me or a resolution will come to me. So you can have productive procrastination, right? You can have productive downtime, but you've got to be willing to have reflective time to say, is this really. Am I really being productive by making this choice, by having this downtime, by having this distraction or by having this busyness. Am I really using this to get ahead? And you have to honestly be willing to look at that. Forgive yourself. First of all, don't beat yourself up if you are doing something that's not great. Because I think that's another hard thing for people when they want to stop and look at themselves. I think it's scary. People are afraid to Fail, Afraid to be wrong, afraid to admit, wow, I thought this was going to work great. And it's not that you have to be able to humble yourself a little bit and trust, you know, letting go of some ego and, and letting. I think people can sit down and sit with their feelings and their emotions when they can be honest with themselves and say, well, I thought I want this goal and it's not. That's not working for me. Yeah, you know, there we go. Back to spaghetti brain.

Back to spaghetti. Yeah, I like it to, to. And like, I guess to even start with this process is if you are, don't feel like you're living your best life. If you feel like you are stressed, if you feel like, if you have that mindset where you're like, like, I just can't wait till Friday, right? I just made. I barely made it through the week, thank God the weekend's here. Or you catch yourself sighing a lot or you're having sleep stuff, or you're having, you know, some anxiousness and your stress levels higher. Those are, that's an, an opportunity. Those are triggers. Because remember, all things Good is also trying to teach you how to listen to the little signals and alarms that are going off in your body, right? And so we're, we're trying to, like, help you think about those things. So if you're having these things, these triggers, that's an opportunity to say, wait a second. Let's. Let's do something simple. Let's. Let's look at my time, right? And then you sit down and you look at, do the quadrants, or you do your, you do your ABCs and you start mining for it and, you know, put yourself back in that pilot seat and change the direction of these things. So honestly, if you want to be honest, honestly, if you want to be honest, you should never say, I don't have time for that. You should really just say, you know what? That doesn't interest me enough to do it. Right? Like, no, Brian, you know, thanks for that tip, but I just don't want to do that right now because I have these other things that I'm doing instead. Yeah, that's, that's honest, right? But like, you know, if you don't have the time for it, it's because you're choosing to. So. But be more honest. Like, I'm sorry, I just don't actually, I don't like to exercise. It doesn't bring me anything that, you know, I actually aspire to, to feel or whatever. I don't know that's bad. And I'm not downplaying people that don't want to exercise. I'm just using that as an example. Like, you should just be.

Yeah, I think it's great. Like, I think people. I do have to work with people and then be like, you know what? They don't like going to the gym. So that's. That's the only way. Go out and ride a bike or walk, Go for a hike, row a boat in an ocean or a lake, whatever. If you can find things to make your life enjoyable. Are there people who are healthy that don't spend hours in the gym and they do things otherwise? Of course. And I think you do exactly what you're saying. You got to step back and be honest with yourself and say, man, I just don't like that feeling. I don't. I had. I had to come to this with a. With the. With a. With running. I had a big trail race that I signed up for and was trying to train for it. And I had some other, you know, my. Some health stuff that was going on that I needed to reset my adrenal glands and just pay attention to my overall stress level. And cardio, long distance cardio was not good for me. Literally was not good for me, but it also wasn't making me happy. I did not enjoy the idea of training every day and every week and doing the run. And I had to just say, well, what the heck? It's not like I'm gonna lose my job. I. Yeah, I'm out 100 bucks, but I can go run that mountain anytime I want to. It's a free mountain. I don't need a support group to go do it, first of all. And when I'm ready, I can go back and do it again, but for now, I can let it go. It wasn't making me happy. I didn't like running. I didn't like the planning. I didn't make my body feel good. I was exhausted. And I just had to say, you know what? For right now, I'm just gonna let that go. And it's not defining me one way or another because I didn't do this race that I wanted to do. Not a big deal, taking some time off and changing, but you have to be honest. Like, yeah, I had to step back my ego just a little bit too well.

And even so, honesty, like, what about. What about people who thrive on drama and, like, just appear so? Either either. A. Well, would they put that as an A? Like, some people just love it, right? They Just. But. And they just. It continues to be in their world. So do they. Would they grade that as a C or D and it's. Or are they actually putting it as an A, you know, priority? And then you have to be honest with yourself. If you are somebody who really loves chaos and drama and that kind of intensity, but you also remember that other people, that's not their priority and they don't want to hear about it. Right. So sometimes it's kind of like things that we put in that thing. Like some people, it's politics. Right. They like. I know people who. That's all they could talk about. Right. And that's an A priori. I don't know if they would give that an A or not. I don't know if they're just honestly not looking at it.

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And they're putting the energy in wrong places or, you know, if it's overwhelmed. Because I feel like anything overwhelming or too consuming, you have to really look at and be honest with. But you have to also remember that might not be somebody else's. So don't, don't push it onto them. And I'm not just talking about politics, but, you know, you just think about, you know, where you are and making sure you're not trying to push your things that are most important to you onto other people. That. That's not important to them, you know?

Right. You gotta, Everybody's gotta kind of know what their importance is and be able to. I do. You know, anybody that likes drama that would actually say, I love drama.

Well, that's why I'm hesitant to. I'm hesitant to commit to that because I feel like I. It feels like they should clearly say no. You know, but at the same time, you get the sense that they do. Do you know what I mean?

Right. I just wonder what they see. I wonder what it is in their head that they're seeing it as. But anyway, we're, we, we digress.

Yeah. Just a little bit so we are. I'm gonna ask everybody who I know. Well. And honestly, I don't know that many people because I choose not to make it a priority to me. So those people tend to not be in my lives. And it's.

And it's different type of like, I. Right. You definitely know the people who have, like, drama and gossip and all this, and there's just always something going on. But then there's people who are like, well, you kind of want to know the juicy stuff, or you get involved with somebody that. This is totally off topic. What are we doing?

But you know, well, this is about time, where you put in your time. No. Therefore, they're putting their time in things that create that stuff. Like, if you're somebody who's spending a lot of time gossiping. Right. If you're a gossiper, you're. You're somebody who's creating drama or being involved in drama. So you're. Is that really an important thing?

Right.

Like, how does that get that time?

And what is it getting you? Like, is it help? Is that. Does that help somebody? Oh, sorry. My weekly reports available. My screen time reports up. There's. There's a way to manage my time, by the way, I have little notifications everywhere. Yeah. I don't even know if we realize that maybe they think that they're helping somebody or being available with somebody, but maybe there's an inner part of them that's addicted to a drama that they don't even realize. Right. So I'm curious to know anybody who is like, I love everybody else's drama and I make priority for it. I have a feeling they won't even know that that's what they're doing.

Yeah. And this goes again. Growth, mindset, fixed mindset. But then also, I was thinking about this with somebody who I know who unfortunately has a lot of drama and spends time gossiping and stuff like that. Unfortunately, there's somebody who has, like, just one bad thing after another happening to them in their life. Right. And so it hit me the other day that I'm going to try to bring this up to him. And again, this is a Brendan Burchard thing, is a lot of us are waiting for life to challenge us when we should be challenging life. Right. So if you're just, you know, sitting back and that's where you're putting that energy and stuff, and then things can kind of just kind of keep reoccurring. Reoccurring, reoccurring. But if she takes. Just bring it back into the Time thing. If this person. I said she. So clearly. Clearly now you know, it's a she. It's not you, by the way.

That's good. I, I don't like drama. Yeah.

But if, if they were to look at the, their schedule, if they were to look at their task, the things that they're doing, the place they're putting their energy, and this isn't just physical things. This is where you're putting your mind energy.

Right.

And if they were to really do this, this is taking control and challenging life. Right. This is a perfect example of challenging life versus waiting for it to just take it all away from you. And so I'm going to make sure they listen to this podcast for sure. You know what I think's happening? I think that we're just going to keep talking and rambling for hours because we've missed each other because we haven't done this podcast.

Right. It's been a while since we've hung out and talked about life. Yeah.

Time well spent. Time well spent.

Let's take a pause and then we can break it into two podcasts. Ready? Break. I'm kidding.

I'm out. I'm out of coffee. My fuel is going. Bye. Bye.

So that priority A has popped up. It is called my coffee's cold and I need to refill, so podcast over. Brian, my time is done. No, I like what you're saying. I think a lot of it builds off of many other little tips and tricks that we talk about. Being able to be self reflective, taking the time to really look and analyze where you're spending your time, where's your focus? What do you want your life to be designed by and then finding some tools to make it a daily practice. Right. So starting with ticking off the big things up front, like what's really the. The big thing that will move you, propel you for forward to your goals. Yeah. What's that going to feel like? Yeah. Is it an A? What's that going to feel like? What that's going to look like when you achieve it? What's it going to feel like or look like if you don't achieve it? What do you have to give up or sacrifice to get that thing? Are you willing to let go of that? And yeah, what. And what can you do to. To set yourself up for winning on that? Get rid of some things. Preset your day the day before. You know, read a book. The one thing is a great book. What's the one I like about atomic habits? A great little. A great book. To. To kind of work yourself into some. Some habit developments.

There's a book I just read. It's actually the. The title doesn't do it justice. It's called the Illusion of Money by Kyle Cease. I think it's a New York Times bestseller, but it gets way more into money. But a lot of it does get into time. And so I think that it's another. Another good book that has some gold nuggets.

I'm putting that on my list right now. The Illusion of Money. I have. My book that I have on my read list is better than before. Gretchen. She did the happiness book. I'm gonna remember her name because I'm gonna look right. Gretchen Rubin. That's her name. But better than before.

I'll read that one.

So, yeah, Mastering the habits of our Everyday Life. Yeah, so that's a good one.

And again, the great thing is we have all these books, but again, common sense, common practice, right? If you're reading stuff and you're listening to this podcast, are we putting it into practice? Are you putting it into practice? Are you or are you just checking? Do you have another little trophy of information that you got right by listening to this podcast? Is that a little trophy by reading a book, but common practice? So, however, whatever works for you as far as the frameworks, just really make sure you're honest with yourself and ask yourself the question about where you're putting your time. And, and don't forget, once it's lost, can't find it. So make sure it's valuable. And just now, this doesn't mean go ghost your employer and quit your job tomorrow, because that's not.

Very. Not cool. Let's just say that let's work with some integrity. I don't know that came from. But yeah, don't do that. Well, like you had mentioned, like, when we were presetting the. The conversation today, like, a lot of people's priorities changed in 2020 when everything was shut down. People were forced to stop and slow down, and a lot of people realized, wow, I really like being with my family. I really like not being stressed and driving to work in a car every day, you know, whatever. And so people made a lot of life changes, and we reprioritized our. Our space a little bit. And I think that's probably one of the good things that came from all of that, one of the very good things that came from it. But people being able to go, hey, maybe I don't need to be constantly chasing the golden rain, but that doesn't mean that you're not still working for a living. You know, you're not going to ditch your job, and you're not going to. Not disrespectfully, and you still got to be productive. We still have to be kind of moving forward in the life, in the world that we live in, but taking more value for what you're invested in, what you're spending your time on and what you're moving towards and what. What's really valuable to you. I think a lot of that just came more apparently clear to people in the 2020 time frame. So. Yeah, that's. I think that's kind of what spurred our conversation is like, what's important to you? How do you. How do you make sure that the craziness of life. Because it does. It happens.

Yeah. Things get away from you.

Yeah. You have to take a step back and go, how am I doing today? Or, how am I doing this week? Or, gosh, you know, three months ago I made this goal, and I'm not. I'm not doing it. Why. Why is this happening? Is. You know, is. Do I not want it? Am I just busy doing other things? Yeah.

Where did the time go?

Time. Time.

Okay. You're gonna get for it. Continue for me a little bit.

That's all I remember of that song. Maybe we should intro with that song. I'll try to find it.

Change our intro music. All right. Well, I love it. I am going to. I have my next thing on my list of my time I'm gonna do. Which is do a spin class right now, so. And then I'm gonna do the infrared sauna, and then I'm gonna hang out with my kids. Oh, I am gonna do it. This is a C thing, but I'm gonna. I'm gonna allow myself a seething today. I'm gonna watch the.

The.

The Broncos, even though they're so terrible right now. I guess. See, there's the drama. I like to watch the train wreck, you know?

Train wreck. Oh. I'm young. Sporting's not my thing, but I. I will be.

That's not an A thing for you.

It is not an a thing for me. I like football because it takes people off my skill.

Yeah, there you go. Right now.

That's coming. That's coming. It's about ski season. Season to begin for me, but today I am going on a little trail hike, and then I'm getting spa day from a friend for my birthday, so.

Oh. Oh. Happy birthday.

Yeah. Oh, it was your birthday? It was in October, but I think.

I wished you happy birthday on a podcast already too. Well, happy birthday again.

I think we did do that.

Yeah.

But no, I'm just, I'm just taking advantage of the gift of that I was given for a spa day. So I will be doing some stuff self care and relaxation today.

Sweet. Awesome.

Thank you.

Well, thank you for listening. And Amy, thank you again for making the time today. I love it.

I always love hanging out with you. Thanks for being here.

You're welcome. And everybody who's listening right now, thank you so much for making the time as well and putting this as an a thing for you to do. Pass this, send this podcast out and share with as many friends, family and loved one as possible and see if you can help them in their life with their time. And I hate to even just say time management because it's not, it's more important than that. Right. Like really, really helping them grow and move forward somehow in their life is a good thing. So thank you.

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Thank you. Thank you. Yep. All right Brian, have a fabulous day and I will see you again soon.

Ciao.

Bye bye bye. Hey friends, thank you for tuning in to the all things good for your podcast. Please note any information, experiences, ideas or opinions discussed today are for educational and thought provoking purposes only and not intended as medical advice. If anything piqued your curiosity, please consult with your doctor or personal medical professional. And if you're enjoying all things good for your pilot podcast, hop on over and leave us a five star review so we can continue delving in and providing great content. Thanks again and we hope you are inspired to stay informed and responsible along your health and wellness journey.

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