Ep. 37 New Years reflection

Looking to get out there and feel the in your hair. Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away. And with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease. And Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence Chevrolet together let's drive.

Rather than putting all these expectations and piling on these new habits and doing adding all this stuff in, what's something you can actually just eliminate?

Hello friends. You are listening to the All Things good for you podcast. I'm your host, Brian Bowen, founder of.

Integrative Health Inc. And I'm Amy Christiansen, your co host and creator of Amy Christensen Health and Wellness Coaching.

Join us as we explore the world of health and wellness and all things that make you feel good. From ancient traditions to modern advancements and technologies that give you the tools for.

A life well lived, what new paths might you discover on your health and wellness journey? Tune in each week as we deep dive into a variety of concepts and hear from other fun, passionate health and wellness experts on their experiences and philosophies.

And remember, stay open minded and integrated.

Brian, good morning.

Good morning. Good morning to you, Amy. It's been a million years.

I'm virtually shaking you from across the.

I'm shaking you, I'm shaking you. Wake up. How are you? Bring me joy.

So we, we have taken another little pause on our podcast because we did some, yeah. Some good self building in the meantime.

Yep. Little travel, little, little self building, some workshops stuff.

We have a fellow mentor that we, we like to learn from and that was some good growth experience. And we've, we came away from a, a little mentoring project that was very insightful, very growth giving. Right.

Yeah, no, I loved it. It was awesome. And you know, it's one of those things that I'm excited to jump into more environments like that because I felt so good being surrounded by people that were in a growth mindset and everybody was just like, let's do this together. We're in it together. And you know, that's what we want to bring to you guys listening today.

Yeah. Bringing it in. Bringing it in. Yeah. And it's a good point because I, I was actually just listening to, to an interview with James Clear, who does Atomic Habits. Right. And he said that after all these years of all, you know, researching and all this experience with teaching people how to achieve their goals, the one thing that seems to be the major factor that had the biggest impact overall on like long term Goal maintenance was being surrounded by people that are like minded and supportive that reflect that goal that you want to do. So yeah, I also felt very inspired and uplifted because we, you know, it was just surrounded by a bunch of people who have the same goals and same, same philosophies or intentions that we had and it was pretty fantastic to be, have that much energy around us. So yeah, we're kind of, we're virtually a group, but we're going to be a group today, right?

Yes, we're a group and I heard the word goal a couple times. So does that mean we're going to be talking about some sort of goals for the New Year's?

The season, right?

Is the season today.

I know it's shocking to everybody. It's the end of 2022, which is pretty exciting I think, think, you know, it's kind of maybe cheesy. A lot of people are, don't necessarily like the whole idea of resolutions and that kind of thing and I kind of understand that. I've been involved in the health and fitness industry since I was a teenager and I've, I've spent my whole life watching people show up at the gym and then disappear by the end of January. You know, it's like we, we know that 9%, 9, 9% of the people who set New Year's resolutions keep them. And most of the time you'll see as a gym goer, as I used to be, you know, we had classes were full the first of the year, maybe that week right after Christmas, people are like, I'm not even going to wait till New Year's, I'm starting now and come in and the gym's packed and the classes are packed. And then it starts to get a little slower by the end of June, January, and then first mid of February, it's even slower. By the end of February, pretty much everybody's gone.

Yeah, I actually heard a statistic, it might even be as low as 3. So somewhere between 3 and 9%. So it's a. But that, you know, real quick on that point. I think that there, when we hear those things and because I have lots of clients are like, you know, when we have these conversations, oh, what do you, you know, I don't even say what are your goals for the New year? Because it's so teed up for them to say I don't set goals because, you know, those never happen or people don't fulfill those. Because that is a fact that so many people have heard, you know, throughout the years. And so I've even like tried to avoid asking that specific question. I'm like, what's exciting you for 2023? Right. Instead of what are your goals? But that's a mindset that we need to change. And it starts with this conversation because that is a common mindset out there is people don't even try to do them anymore because the failure rate is so high. It's like, why set yourself up for failure?

Right. And that's kind of our topic being today is like a positive, a positive reflection on your progress in the last year or what you've learned and kind of looking at your previous year in a, in a more positive reflection. I think looking back at your year is good. I think sometimes it's daunting for people. I work with a lot of folks that have a lot of high anxiety and anything that is a pile up, oh my gosh, let me look back and, and see is like you said, it just becomes a negative connotation. And so there's an immediate block to avoid that. You and I, I think, have a different mindset on a lot of that. So it's not as daunting and scary for us. And when I'm talking about this, I mean, I have to say it's kind of, it is a little like it's a different perspective for me to go, oh, I did not. I don't really think about it that way. And to learn from my clients on their goal setting and. Or reflection on things that, why that can be so hard for them. So, yeah, I think we have to look at how can we change that story. And let's look back at our previous year in a positive mindset and open some space for us to see what we can learn from to project more positive options in the future.

Yeah, I think I've mentioned this in a previous podcast, but years ago, I mean, actually I was pulling up some notes and it's been well over 10 years ago. This one, maybe it's been about 15 years, but I did that one program, it was called Lifebook and I don't even know if it's around anymore. It was an online platform. It was pretty cool. But the, the nice thing, this really helped look back and so I would tee it up for the year. And you have different chapters, right? So it's like picture you have this virtual book and each thing in your life, whether it's health and fitness, whether it's relationships, whether it's career, you know, you create whatever chapter it is and then they Would break it up into you. You start off, your overall statement is with a premise. And then of course there's these pictures and quotes that you have a library of just to really get it in your brain. And then you go from premise to vision and then vision to strategy. Actually I think there's a goal in there. Oh, purpose after vision. Anyway, the point being is the biggest part that that played a role in was a like thinking about it and spending the time of contemplating and have a, and really having awareness of who I wanted to become. And then so I would do that at end of each year. But it was the more exciting part was actually reading what I did last year and that was my reflection time. So it's like, oh my God, I actually did that. I actually did that. That didn't work out and I'm glad I didn't do that. Right. So I think that that kind of, you know, teeing it up in that way is important. And so I guess I would start with a question. Well, you have the reflection part, but then the moving forward part. And with the moving forward part I would say start with the question of who do I want to and what do I have to start or stop doing to become that person, to become that thing. So to really support those goals that you want to, you know, to fit into that ideal, you know, overall arcing image or goal or whatever.

I think a lot of times, no, I think that's where we have to start with everything. Right. I almost every day making a better habit of that. But I think, I don't know. Brian, when you were younger did you have, do you think we just trained ourselves out of this space because we were doing self help stuff really young and for a long time. Did you, I mean, I guess I feel sometimes like an overwhelm. I can get kind of frustrated and feel like, you know, I can slip into this space where I'm wanting to be this person and this person acts this way and has these things and does this stuff and I'm not getting all that done. And you start to just feel this pressure from it all. And I think I, I, I, I don't have it very often, but it certainly does creep up. So it must have been there at some point that I've learned these little cues to say, hold on, that's jumping over into this control space. This is jumping into where you're piling a bunch of stuff on yourself. You're creating this fear and anxiety by putting all this pressure on who you want to become rather than who you actually are at the moment, and you're growing that person because there's nobody out there who has this desire. Like, I've never desired to be a basketball player. I've just. I never have. There's not one ounce of my being that wants to be a basketball player. I don't feel one ounce of stress about the idea of being a basketball player because that's not who I am. That's. I. That is not who I am. And so I feel like people who are. Want to become these things, they need to take it that. And they start to feel that pressure because they get this fear and this anxiety to become that person when you wouldn't want to be these things if it wasn't already within you. You're. That person's already there. It's already in that space in you, or you wouldn't have a desire for that thing or that space or that idea or that dream. So letting go of that space of pressure where you have to become that person and allow yourself to just be right now, you are that person. You're just going to grow those expectations and those. Those practices of that person that's already within you.

Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of. I mean, certainly we have things that, you know, are from a state of conditioning that. That t. You know, that kind of flow into some of that. But I think that we. With. With moving forward and we're, you know, setting goals and becoming that person and all that stuff. I think we should lead with purpose. And sometimes we're not leading with purpose. We're leading with other people's ideals or what, you know, you know, people you look up to and you want to whatever you want to become that person. So it's like, what person, what feels true to you and what's, you know, what's your purpose? Because I think we do things all the time because we're just supposed to do it too. Right. So, you know, we set goals because we're supposed to. Right. And we're supposed to eat this way or we're supposed to do that and we're supposed to. But we don't spend the time with the why as much so. And really digging into that why. You know, I was just talking to somebody recently and the conversation actually was about, you know, growth. And so, you know, I. They were quoting a lot of mentors and. And books and. And things, and we were talking about things that support growth. And then I just stopped and I'm like, wait a second. Why do you want to grow and that seems like a stupid question. Right, but. And it started to be regurgitated again maybe a little bit from somebody else's perspective. And I'm like, no, I. You keep going external. I want to know why. You want to, like, tell me more about that.

Yeah.

Right. And so. But you kept, you know, and it was great. They came back and they're like, that was such a good question. I had them write like a paragraph for me and email it to me. And they had to really spend time with their why. But they were, they were, they were moving forward and setting these goals and things up because of somebody else's why. And so it was, it was pretty cool. It's a very simplistic thing, but I guess, you know, when you're setting these goals and when you're, you know, thinking about what, who you want to become or, and all that stuff is why, like, why do you, why do you want to do this?

And where is that coming from? Is it coming from a place of authenticity? Right. Is this truly what you want? Or are you doing it out of a place of societal expectation, your family expectation, your parents expectation, just an idea that you saw somebody else doing and thought, well, I should be doing that. But it actually isn't from you. It isn't, it isn't growing you. It's. It's. It's, you know, smothering you or, you know, you're not finding happiness and growth in that thing. Yeah. I think it's one of our first things that we work with people on is. Is really getting down to that space of where is this really coming from? What is this really going to get for you? And yet we have to have goals. Right? I. I mean, I, I guess you don't have to, but I feel like if you're living a life that you feel is more fulfilled and you're getting to that space of true. I hate to say that you're getting to the place of happiness, because I feel like you have to be happy to get to the place that you want to be. And again, I'm changing that dialog, even within my own life of when you're in that space and when you allow yourself to recognize those dreams and those pressures, those wants are coming from you, because it's already there. Your happiness and your joy, if you will be happy and in that space where you are and who you are right now only opens up more opportunity for you to grow that feeling. And then, as you're saying, kind of get in and making sure. Is this coming From a space that's truly a want from within me that's going to satisfy who I want to be and who I know I am authentically. I think when you can look at things like that, from that you'll just lead into a more positive and effective long term goal setting.

Yeah, there's. I again maybe mentioned this before, but something I feel like I've identified with myself. But you know, we hear about ego and so of course you can make decisions based off that and that's maybe somebody else's stuff, right? But there's. I call it egoition and intuition.

Did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? That's right. In fact, most of the things around you that you depend on every day are made with recycled materials. From essential infrastructure to important innovations, America's recycling companies provide the materials that power our infrastructure and strengthen our economy. Want to know more? Learn how America's essential infrastructure and important innovations are made with recycled materials@recycled materials.org that's recycled materials.org looking to get out.

There and feel the in your hair Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away. And with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease. And Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence. Chevrolet together, let's drive.

And so intuition is that that place like okay, this is, this is what I want to do.

Right?

Right. Just for an example. And there's no question about it, like it's, it's. You feel it throughout your being. You feel it viscerally, you feel it. And I look back about good decisions I've made in my life that have helped me grow, whatever. And that was 100% true. There was no internal dialogue back and forth. And really, you know, in a convincing kind of way or an affirming way of like this is why I need to do it and stuff like that. And so but ego issue, there's a lot more internal dialogue. It's like, well, I need to do it because of this. Well, should I? Yes, if I do it this way. And I'm not saying don't ever think things through, but does it hit you first, you know, from that intuitive intuition type of place? Like I'm writing this book right now and it's around a specific style of acupuncture and I'm obsessed. Like I, it's all I want to do right now. Like I'm just driven to do it. I feel It. I know, like, there's going to be some people that aren't going to like it, and there's a. It's a place like, I don't even care. Like, I just. I need to create this, and I don't care, you know what I mean, about the. About the. People are going to be the. The downers with it or whatever. And so my point to tie into that is, when you are thinking about these things or when you're setting a goal or when you're, you know, putting an action forward, where do you feel it and how does it feel? And, you know, if you're doing it and you're, like, super concerned about what all these other people are going to think or da, da, da, da, then maybe, maybe you're not on the right track. So there's these little telltales of. Of, you know, are you. Are you on the right track of, Is this the right goal for you? Is this the right mission for you? Is this the right action for you? Is this the right blank? Right. So just some little things to maybe listen to within yourself.

Right. And it's not that. It's not that you should feel all good and perfect and happy and easy about it. Right. Because that process of growth and that process of setting goals is to push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone. You've got to step out of that comfort zone to. To really, truly grow. I was listening to a Jay Shetty podcast where he was talking about how he shifts his perspectives on looking back, and he asks himself some certain questions about what did I do last year? But then with goal setting, he's. He's made very clear that you've got to push yourself into the uncomfortable, because in the uncomfortable is actually where we learn. Like, that is the part where your brain says, oh, this is something new. I need to be challenged a little bit. This is. This is going to make me a little bit of an uncomfortable space to push me to remember it. Yeah. And I think we have to get comfortable with the idea that we can be. We can be in an uncomfortable, challenging state, and that is a good place.

Can I throw in my Zig Ziglar quote right now? Can I do it? Can I do it?

Yes. Yes.

So I just. There's a quote. I, you know, I'm getting back on my quote thing, but there is a zigzag quote here which has the best quote. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals. And. And so even going after the goal, right? Whatever that goal is, even if it's small or big, like that process of achieving it and the, you know, actual achievement of it. There's. There's so much beautiful reward and so many good things that come, you know, from that side of it. So, you know, sometimes it could be a small goal, sometimes it could be, you know, whatever, but lean into that uncomfortable and you know.

Say the quote again. Say the quote.

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you get by. Oh, sorry. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you get by achieving your goals.

Becoming.

Becoming. Oh my God, we gotta say that again. What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become.

Become.

What you become by achieving your goals.

Okay, I love.

Also said if you don't aim it, if you aim at nothing, you hit nothing. Which is another great quote of his because it's like, yeah, like what are you aiming at and where. What place are you aiming at it from?

And Zig Ziglar is kind of like one of the original coaches quote unquote, Right. And I, I would even go so far as to say I would take that a little bit even deeper and be. Because we get really goal oriented and end process the thing, the person, the outcome, right? We're getting very results and outcome driven, which is a good place to come from that, I think, where people get trapped and they become afraid or they get trapped in the stress and they get trapped in the rat race of things and they get into that daily stress is that they're also. They're not enjoying the process of it. They're not enjoying you. You be. Be. Okay, I know we've already said it like four times it. So he's saying. I just feel like there's something there in this. So he's saying it's not as important as what you achieve, as what you become, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So what you become by achieving those. And again, maybe could look at it from a couple different ways, but one could be, you know, again, the act of achieving and accomplishing the goal in itself. Right?

You.

You become an achiever, right? You become. There's, there's, there's.

And I would.

Other layer of yourself you reach.

And I would say even more important is the becoming is like the being of it. Right. What's the funny thing we're not humans doing, we're humans being. It's really taking pleasure in the process of what you're doing. Like I, When I work with People for health coaching and for doing, like, when I used to do more specific personal training, I actually had a gal that I worked with who hated working out because she hated the idea that lifting weights was going to create this muscle soreness. And she identified the muscle soreness as pain and injury. Now, I know going into a workout you can of course injure yourself and you can overdo it. Right. So you get the delayed onset muscle soreness. But for me, what I told her, I was like, really? Because I always, when I grew up, now, when I was in the gym all the time, when I got like glute soreness, my booty was sore. I was like, oh, that's good. I'm like, I got to build a good booty. You know, I saw it as a positive thing. And she was like, gosh, I never thought about it that way. And I'm like, okay, that is me enjoying. I knew that I was going to be in pain, like leg day. Like, you see all these jokes about leg day and not being able to walk up and down stairs or get up and down off of the toilet. Right. And it's a joke and it's kind of funny. But we actually look forward to it in that, in that space because we know that that little bit of uncomfortableness and that little bit of pain that we're going to experience along the way is, is helping us get to where we want to go. And so we kind of have to have pleasure in the journey.

Yeah.

You know, my friend and I do 14ers a lot in the summers and there is inevitably this part where we kind of go, what are we thinking? Why do we keep doing these? And they're so long, but then we end up loving it. And it is, gosh, if we don't have fun along that whatever, you know, 3, 6, 8 hour, 12 hour hike. If you're not actually stopping and enjoying the hike and enjoying the time and the person that you're being with and enjoying the struggle a little bit. Yeah, it's not going to be fun. You're going to get to the top and go, this is great. I'm never doing this again. And which I think we may have said once or twice, but then we always do it again because we actually do enjoy the process of the hike that gets to the top. It's not just the top, because surprisingly, a lot of fourteeners look all exactly the same at the top. So it's really not that exciting to be at the top of the 14. Or in and of itself, it is the process, it's the enjoyment of the thing. And so we have to take that and apply that to our own life. And like, okay, let's set some goals, but let's goals with the idea that we're going to enjoy all the little steps along the way and not be so attached to the outcome. Because if the outcome doesn't come in just the way you want it to, or you get there, I mean, how many times did we get to something and go, well, gosh, that really wasn't that exciting, or, hey, that was really great, and it lasted like a month or two of excitement and now we're bored again or now we're unhappy again. It's like, you've got to enjoy the process.

Yeah. There's Brendan Burchard. He labels three types of pain, but two of the pain, the pains that he labels is process pain and outcome pain. And so, you know, people are fearful because of the process of how challenging or what's going to happen, you know, you know, in this goal to get there and the whole. All the components of it, or the outcome pain, that they might fail it, that they might not achieve that goal. And so to your point earlier about getting. Leaning into the uncomfortable. So sometimes it's leading into the uncomfortableness of what that goal might be, what that stretch goal, what that tension goal might be. But also, again, to your point, is just to enjoy the process. And you can find joy and you can find yummy things in the process. And don't be afraid of the process. Don't be afraid, afraid of the outcome, because guess what, it might suck. And guess what, you might fail. And guess what, there's lessons in that. And guess what, there's growth in that. And guess what? You can find the joy and the desire and the yumminess in all of it. So it's kind of like a hot yoga. Like, I did hot yoga for the first time the other day in a long time. Oh, my God. And it was like, I think, I swear it was like 150 million degrees in there. And. And so I was a little nervous going into it because it's just been a long time. And but when I was in there and the sweat was kicking and I'm like, my leg shaking. Oh, I hate this. Oh, that feels so good. Right? And I know there's good things that are going to come from this. And, you know, afterwards, the reward of, you know, I did that and, like, it was so awesome to get back into it. And I felt super calm inside and I was hanging out with a good friend and I had a good connection going on. There were so many other good stuff in it, you know.

Yeah, yeah, exactly. What is it a marine term to embrace the suck? Is that where that I think that came from?

I think so, yeah.

They embrace the suck because it's going to make them better and stronger. And they know that it's fostering, you know, a good thing from the suck. And I think we forget that. Like, we forget it in the little moments. Okay, let's break it down into something that's more applicable to just anybody and let's take it to driving in traffic.

Did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? In fact, most of the things you depend on every day are from essential infrastructure to important innovations. America is made with recycled materials. Learn how@reCycledMaterials.org looking to get out there.

And feel the in your hair Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away and with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease and Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence. Chevrolet together, let's drive.

Right. That can often be. And it's funny, I think I talk about driving in traffic a lot and I actually don't mind it at all. Just for some reason. It just comes up a lot in. In the thought process of what people let ruin their day. But I set up things to enjoy traffic. So I'll listen to a podcast. You play music, one you prepare. Right. I find that if there are times I'm losing my mind on the highway, it's because I messed up and I ran late, which, you know, rarely ever happens. I can't even say that with a straight face.

I'm not saying anything. Running into the door.

That is a lifelong struggle passed down for many generations in my family. I'm trying not to run late. But my point being is like, set yourself up right, Enjoy the process of driving. I enjoy. And now I. And I like driving in the fast lane for a number of reasons. But I actually have seen started making myself get over and people who know me will be shocked by this. Driving the slow lane. And I actually, it's just I'm kind of making myself be like, all right, I'm leaving earlier. I'm actually going to get in the car and I'm going to enjoy my drive. I'm going to have coffee and I'm going to listen to something uplifting or insightful and I'M just going to make this a pleasant experience and I'm going to plan to enjoy what could have sucked. You know, and I think I, I may be getting a little off topic there, but how do we apply that process of let's enjoy the suck, right? Sitting in traffic is never going to be fun. What can you do to make it more enjoyable? I think we have to look forward is in the small ways on okay, we're going to set goals. We we know there's going to be parts that suck in it. What are you going to do to set yourself up to enjoy that process along the way?

Hey guys, it's Brian. I just wanted to take a pause for a moment in the middle of this podcast to thank our sponsors, Ouch, who's helping to make this podcast possible today. Ouch believes everyone should enjoy what life has to offer without enduring pain. They are a pain relief company. Listen guys, I use their products a lot. Their proprietary herbal formula is built on top of a 2000 year old formula, giving it time, testing effective results and I'm going to listen to that any day of the week. The combination of that with the founder having over 22 years of experience hands on treating actual patients for musculoskeletal pain makes Ouch a very special company. Ouch is made with the highest quality certified herbs and CBD from organic hemp oil. Their ingredients are extracted with the utmost integrity to ensure the healing properties remain pure and concentrated to promote natural muscle pain relief and other benefits. I got to tell you, I appreciate that so much. As a consumer, I want to know what I'm getting is exactly what's being sold to me. So they take it a step further. They have a certificate of analysis for all their ingredients before it goes into production and then they also get a certificate of analysis after post production to ensure that you're getting what you're paying for with Listen here guys, don't settle for a lesser version of your best self. When you can feel your best today, check Ouch out at Ouch Shop that's spelled Outch dot shop for a full line of their products. They're an amazing company. I use their products on a daily basis. Check them out. There's, you know, sometimes like again, it's good to be in a group of people. It's good to have somebody help with accountability. But I kind of want to bring this back to even yourself on how can we be a good. I'm trying to think of the best way to say this, but how can we be good Support for ourselves. And this goes back to even a conversation, you know, podcast we had a long time ago that we got into like celebrating your win, celebrating yourself celebration, right?

Yeah.

And so oftentimes, you know, some people don't have anybody in their lives, right? They don't have a big social group or they don't have immediate family that live near them and they are all alone. Or sometimes you might be in a, you might have a great family environment, but you still don't have the support, you know, that you need in that way either. So I would want to encourage everybody to acknowledge yourself, celebrate yourself on the goals you're going to be setting, right? And just give yourself a little, a little pat on the back. You got this. I can do this. I've done these other things before, right? Here are some other successful things I've done before. Here are some other goals I've accomplished before, right? And then what is that motivation? So kind of the three part is acknowledge yourself. Give your, Acknowledge what you've done. Celebrate your successes before. Get that energy going, right? Get riled up in it, right? You can do this. You got this. And then what is your motivation to do it? What is your why, right? Is it something that's, it's going to make you feel good inside? Is there, is there an external reward for it that is going to come from it? Like, say it out loud, write it down. Like, what's, what's going to happen with that? And then what is the emotion behind it? What is it like? What, how does it make you feel? How do you want it to make you feel? How do you want it to, you know, move you forward? How do you want it to, you know, to blossom?

And so did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? In fact, most of the things you depend on every day are from essential infrastructure to important innovations. America is made with recycled materials. Learn how@reCycledMaterials.org.

Looking to get out there and feel the in your hair Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away. And with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease. Ant Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence Chevrolet together, let's drive.

You know, really get behind it. And you know, of course it's great to find the support, but if you don't have it or even if you do have the support, how can you get behind it in a deeper way to where it subconsciously gets in there and at such a bigger level. Right. So celebrate yourself. You know, what's the reward going to be? What's the motivation for doing it? And then what is the emotion? What do you, how do you want it to feel? What's the, you know, what's the outcome?

Yeah, I think. Okay. And to kind of take it back to where we were talking about. So New Year's ending, right. People are going to look back at your year and hopefully you do. Hopefully you are in a space where you can look back at what's happened in the last year. And if you're, if you've kept journaling or you keep a, like a daily checklist or your, your calendar and you keep little, maybe quotes or notes to yourself, you don't even have to do like significant journaling. Some people do a one line a day journaling process where they're just writing one line a day about their day. Those are so helpful because you can, like you were saying, you can flip back through your old notes and really remember where you were a year ago, what was your feeling, what have you grown from? And look at doing the positive things. So the things. Since you're listening to our podcast and not Jay Shetty, just in case, I mean, you probably did, because I do. But what he was saying was, let me check my notes if I can remember all the things he said. But one of the things he does is like, look over, look at what challenges you overcame from the last year. You know, look at those in a positive light. Like, man, I, I confronted this so, you know, a year ago, you know, what did I, what was I overcoming? What did I think maybe a changed in my life that now seems normal. What surprises did you deal with? Like, what kind of good things? Like what's surprisingly popped up in your life that either was something you weren't prepared for and then you, you dealt with it. And then he says like, oh, this was a good one. What was something you purchased or you invested in? And he's like, so often we look at spending money as a negative thing and to look back at our previous year in a positive way, like, how did our money and purchases and our time investments work for us? I know you and I have done a lot of personal investment into our business and to our personal growth in, in a way to build our businesses. And I can look back and say, I've, I've, I have so many great investments for the last year. He also said, look at your best book and podcasts. And then the person that you couldn't do without. Like, look back at your year and look at who I couldn't have made it through without. Right.

That's awesome. Yeah.

And it's such a good way to kind of like, okay. And when you do that, it's automatically sets you up for what you were saying. Like look at the ways that you've done well, look at the things that you have can celebrate in small ways. And then it automatically puts you into a space of gratitude. And when we operate point blank from the beginning on something from a space of gratitude and not allowing fear to dictate us, we were so much more successful. And then I would recommend for people who do get the anxieties, you know, and they do start to feel, you know, frustrating or even, you know, diminishing your self worth and you're, you start to have that low self esteem because gosh, I didn't approve. I didn't get this done and I didn't get all that done. I identify the fear. Identify where, what is that fear and what's it coming from? And then is it real? You know, what is that fear trying to tell you? Because fear is often always really just a protecting mechanism. It's a warning sign. And sometimes it's not true, sometimes that fear is. And oftentimes that fear is not telling you the truth. It's maybe telling you a truth of somewhere it could have happened or maybe it happened. But identify the fear that you're dealing with when you feel those anxiety. And a lot of times if you just do that, you can, you can rationalize and see how. No, I've, I've got the self efficacy to get out of that. I've done this before. I've gotten over these type of situations. I have this type of support in my life. And if you don't, knowing that you can identify those things just means that that person is there and you can go find those things, you can build those skills, you can build those relationships that help support you to get what you want. Um, and doing those little steps can help you then have a successful goal setting for your next year. Um, so Brian, what kind of goal setting do you use? A certain like process.

Yeah, real quick. I just want to back up some of that fear. Some of that fear too. Again, just going back to process pain and outcome pain, you know, the other one's growth pain. But you know, we fear that, right? Like you know, so what category is that in? And it's okay to, to dive into that and understand if it's like It's. I'm afraid of what's gonna, you know, come from, and I'm afraid of going through it. So you know that that's where a lot of fear resides. And then going back to your Jay Shetty list and I think we should just do a whole podcast about this is letting go or adding to either things that give you energy or things that take energy away. What's. What are you doing? Like, all the little details in your life that create an energy surplus or an. Or an energy deficit. Like, what's. Where are you leaking energy? Where are you building energy? And sometimes it's things that are good that you just hate or do not enjoy or whatever, for whatever reason that could be draining. But I could talk about that for a whole day. So I think we should look at that under a microscope. And I have a little specific system that I like to apply to help look at it. That stuff through a different lens.

Yeah. And that's actually one of my things for a previous year. Reflection is rather than piling on a bunch of goals and more stuff into you, and a lot of times I'll use this for health coaching, too. Is like, what. Rather than putting all these expectations and piling on these new habits and doing. Adding all this stuff in, what's something you can actually just eliminate? What can you take away? That's a habit that you. That is countering the progress. What is something you can say, I will not do A, B or C, you know, I will not drink during the week or I will not eat out for this many weeks or whatever. You know, if you're trying to cut back on spending and food, like, what can you take away rather than just adding into. And when we take away, we open up that space for the good to just naturally show up for us.

Yeah. Yeah. Going to your question back about the process of goal setting, I think it's important, A, I do use that. That form, that lifebook. I still do that every year, but I still think it's very important to, you know, we. I have my little system that I do every week where I kind of grade myself with an A, B, a C, a D or an F. You're right. And that's nice because since I'm doing that stuff on a regular basis, I don't feel as overwhelmed with having to make all these dramatic changes or additions. Right. So instead of being in an energy deficit, all of a sudden I'm like, in crisis. And I'm like, oh, my God, I got to do this. I got to Be a better this. I got to do a better this. I'm kind of doing it, you know, on a regular basis. So it's kind of maintenance mode is such a good place to, to be. And of course, you know, then you, you know, I have my bigger goals like this, you know, the classes I want to teach next year and, and all that stuff. But that, that is nice to write out in my chapters. Right. So I love doing the, the, the why and the goals. And then the most important thing that I have not been extra awesome at over the years that I'm going to be way more awesome at is putting together the strategy behind it. So not just the why, not just the vision, but the strategy. Because the action steps are the most important steps. And so if you have strategic action steps, you're gonna, those goals are gonna be easier to accomplish.

Yeah. Yeah. And of course I always, as much as I feel like I've studied and learned a lot about the atomic habits, I do love James Clear's book and listening to. He was a guest on another podcast that I listened to regularly and it was just refreshing to be listening to him again from a different perspective. And he talked a lot. He's had a lot of experiences in himself to see how all of his, his process has worked for other people. But I also always. I do think that the smart goals are, they still work, right? There's still. And I think you can use the atomic habits, you can use the smart goals. But if you think about the smart goals when they, you know, it's what? Specific, measurable.

Achievable.

Achievable. Yeah. I always get the A and the R. So I, and I, I think we've switched these. So it's achievable because it used to. The R used to be the reality of it. Like the, you're. You're able to do it like what was the R?

It's specific, measurable, achievable, realistic.

Now we've changed.

I thought it was relevant.

Yeah. And we've changed it to time bound. Yeah. Have a time frame or whatever. So specific being like yes, you're going to be. You're going to narrow it down to the exact thing. But I think in specific specificity with it. It's also that why it's clarifying why are you doing it? What's that feeling that you're going to get from it? Is that coming from within you or is that an outside driven goal that you've just taken on? And then the measurable, you know, just how what does that look like? What's it going to be when you achieve it? What will that. How do you know you're moving forward to your goal? And those can be, you know, your daily action plans and your strategy. Right. Like, what's your strategy to make sure that you're actually achieving your steps towards this? And then the achievable, I feel like that's, you know, how realistic is it? Like, do you have to, like, if you want to exercise and do you need certain tools, do you need certain equipment to make this happen? Do you need to take a class? Do you need to join a group so that you set yourself up to be achievable? And then the relevant is how does it really work for your. For your life? You know, is it relevant to, you know, I'm not going to sudden, I'm not going to become a base basketball player. Right. I don't know. That's not really relevant to what my life wants to be. I don't see how I'm going to accomplish what I know I want in my life by doing that. That's not a relevant goal. Right. If I want to be a trail runner, I'm not going to go and necessarily join to become Olympic lifter. Right. You're gonna have some relevancy involved and then your time frame and time frame. I think you have to use it loosely. Yes. I think you have to set yourself milestones and celebrate those little wins and then set yourself a goal. I, almost every year of my life, I have, like, paid for and bought into a trail run or an event or, you know, some sort of big thing. And it always pushed me to stay on track because it gave me a deadline.

Yeah. So I'm going to make a lot of people mad. Don't be mad at me for saying this.

I won't.

I. The smart goals, there's so many frameworks.

Yeah.

But like, the smart goals, just use an example. It's flawed. Yeah, it's flawed. And the reason it's flawed is because of what's between our own ears.

Yeah.

And. And because of what I think is achievable. Right. Maybe I have limiting beliefs on what is achievable. Maybe I have. And you know, and then all of a sudden it just becomes a lot of. Of of stuff to do. More. More checkboxes. And then the more checkboxes we have, the more likely we are not to do it. And I think that that's lame to say in a way, but at the same time, like when we talk about Strategy, it's important to do these things. But a lot of people don't follow through because there's too many steps.

Yeah.

And Nike, Nike actually has it the best. Like, it's brilliant. Just do it. Just do it. Right. Just do it. Like, maybe it doesn't need to be measurable. Just do it. Maybe it doesn't have to be achievable. Maybe you're going to fail, but who cares? Just do it. Maybe, you know, just do it.

And that's the action.

Yeah. If you feel like you. It's innately. If there's that. If there's that intuition inside that says, I need to do this or I want to do this or I'm going to do this. Like sometimes you just got, you just got to do it too. Yeah.

Yeah. And I think, again, I agree and completely and I think it goes back to that whole anxiety and the fear process and you know, how you, how you reflect on whether you succeeded at something or you failed at something. And is that failure a bad. You suck? Does it, you know, tell you you're awful or does it give you a lesson of, okay, this is what I learned from that. This is how I operate. I need to have these type of structures in place or I need to approach it this way. Maybe I need help. I think getting comfortable with what you. Who you are and how you handle things is the first thing. And you're right. The very first thing that you have to deal with when you're setting a goal is your mindset around it. You know, if you don't inherently believe that you are worthy of or capable of. Deserve is another podcast. I think we should talk about this whole thing of I don't deserve it or I do deserve it. I have some interesting feedback from clients and on that. But. And some. And friends, if you don't have your mind around it, it's not going to happen any. No matter what.

Yeah.

You know, but I think if you can get to that space of even if, if it's, if it's a desire and you can really un. Layer it to where. What is my desire? Why do I want this? Why do I feel that I need this thing? Or did you achieve this thing? Where is that coming from? If you really uncover it and it's authentically you, if it's not your parent or your spouse or society or some Instagram influencer that made you think you need to have this thing. I, I think if you uncover it to that space, then your mindset, it is in there. It is it may just be a little tiny spark of something, but you gotta feed it and fuel it and funnel it so that.

Did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? That's right. In fact, most of the things around you that you depend on every day are made with recycled materials. From essential infrastructure to important innovations, America's recycling companies provide the materials that power our infrastructure and strengthen our economy. Want to know more? Learn how America's essential infrastructure and important innovations are made with recycled materials@recycled materials.org that's recycled materials.org looking to get out.

There and feel the in your hair Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away. And with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease. And Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence. Chevrolet together, let's drive.

You can foster that process that you there's, I just, I truly believe that there's something in people then it's, if it's there then it is a desire and it's the mindset is all the, excuse me, the, well, just the BS that makes us think we can't have that or it's too hard or I fail. It's the fear, it's the anxiety, it's the self worth. It's that story that you're telling yourself because if you, if you uncover it and you truly want this thing to happen, then you can make it happen. I just, I innately, I believe that that's why we do what we do. It's why I'm a coach, it's why I've always been in the fitness industry. If you, I believe people can achieve what they desire when they uncover where and why and then they release that fear and they enjoy the process.

You know, and at the end of the day, I mean what's the worst thing that's going to happen if you fail? So it's kind of back into it with that question. And guess what if it's a, Everybody always uses the quit drinking or the gym, you know, getting back to exercise. But if you fail, you worked out more, 10 more than what you did last year. You know, if you, if you fail at your, your, your quitting drinking, you know, through the weekday, well guess what? You still drink less than what you did last.

It's true. And it's true. And you know, I, I, it's, I, for whatever reason, I think we've talked about my, my need to run. I know There's a runner in here somewhere because I'm always needing to do it. But I used to run, and I really hated it. I mean, when I first started trying to just run, I just. For a number of reasons we don't have to go into, but one of the things I did was to change my mindset around it. And I used to run when I was angry, and then I started saying, like, I'm not going to be angry about running. Like, look at my body can do. This is a great tool. I can make my body do this. And I. I just started laughing, and I'm like, I've ran further today than I've ever ran in my life. And it was because in my head, I was just tacking on, okay, I only ran, like, a half a mile or whatever. I only ran three miles instead of a marathon, but I just tacked that three miles on to what I've done my whole life.

It wasn't like that today in six inches of snow. Did you do that today?

I actually did run yesterday.

Okay. I was gonna say, if you ran today, it's like six inches. I did not believe how much it snowed out last night.

I ran up and down.

Super impressive.

I ran up and down stairs that are covered and protected, if that counts.

But I ran to get my coffee before we started.

But you see what I'm saying? It's like, it's really about your mindset and just changing that. I would kind of laugh at myself, too, because I kind of knew it was silly. I'm like you, you know, I just. But I am running. I'm ran. I've ran further today than I've ever ran in my life because I was tacking it on to every day I've ever run. So it was just another three miles of running or another mile of running or. Yeah. So you can. You can switch your mindset and have kind of a positive way of thinking about it.

Yeah. And technically, failure is good because it means you tried and you learned something from it. If you failed, that means you tried something. So.

And you confronted it. You confronted a fear. And if you're alive to go, I failed, then it means you didn't die. So good job.

Now, I know we started this whole thing off with looking back your previous year, but it was so easy to fall into the conversation of setting goals for the new year and. And, you know, looking at some of the pitfalls and challenges and all that stuff. So before we wrap it up, do you want to. To bring it back to Looking back at your previous year. I know.

I think we should just quit right now where we're heading. No, I'm kidding.

Okay. Just done. The clock is telling me it's time. Nobody wants to hear us for an hour and 15 minutes.

Okay. Yeah. So what are you asking me? You want me to reflect on my previous year?

Well, no, we. We started the conversation, it was leaning more towards looking back at your previous year.

Yeah.

And then we ended up moving more into a place of looking forward to your next year and setting goals and stuff. So I just didn't know if we wanted to say anything about looking back at your previous year.

Well, I just, I think like we had said, like when you look back at your previous year, try to extrapolate like what went well, what was good from it. I think we have a tendency to beat ourselves up. So finding a positive way of how you've grown and even if it was a failure, what lesson did you learn? You know, what can you release from fear of? You know, I've really been growing my shifting like my mindset around money and success that I thought I had worked out a layer of it, but I realized doing some stuff that. And looking back at some choices that I'm still living in this level of expectation about money and 23 is going to be a different realm of money and abundance focus for me. And when I look back at 22, I can actually see how I was already working myself into this by making some trusted choices and some honoring choices. So I can look back at 22 and there was a lot of happening in my world in 22. It was a very big year. So much growth and so much learning and some failures. But mostly, I mean, really good growth happened for me and some really good things are going. I mean, 22 is actually a really good year, but I also feel like it was exhausting in a way. So I'm going to look back and reflect on last year as man. This is just a fantastic base for what I'm building on for next year and I'm super excited about it. And the self efficacy, like you were saying, like, look at the things that I overcame and the challenges that happened that I worked my way through, the skills that I built, the network that I've built. And yeah, I'm. I'm. I will look back in reflection on 22 as a. A. Hell yes.

Yeah, I like it. I love Hell yes, sir.

Hello.

Yeah. So looking back like that's a. Yeah, look back. What were you. You know, what are your celebrations and Spend time celebrating those I love that can never celebrate, you know, yourself enough and your wins and, you know, what are you grateful for? What was the, what was that stuff? And then I think in our next podcast we'll talk about some of the energy deficiencies or energy surplus and, and get into that a little bit more. But I'm going to look back and be like, okay, where, where were some things that were occurring on a regular basis that were creating energy drains for me and how can I not bring those into the new year? What's some other things I can do that are going to bring me more energy and more joy and create more of an energy surplus kind of moving forward? So a little mix of some celebrations and some analytics and then also, like, just to tie into that book theme with the chapters I was talking about, if I were to read my book of last year, how would it read? Right.

Yeah.

Is it, is it the novel that I wanted it to be? Is there a chapter maybe that I could, if I were to rewrite it, you know, what would that look like? How would I rewrite it? What would the tone be? What would the elements of it be?

So, yeah, yeah, I like that part of it. That's nice. And I, so yeah, I think I, hopefully, you know, there's some stuff that we've dropped out there today that encourages people and get you some little change of mindset and most importantly, leave you with this feeling of gratitude and excitement and, and I've got this mindset. You really can achieve what you want and you know, find that support group, find those, those skills that you need and start every day with the mindset of writing something down and, and, and setting, choosing and, and designing your life the way you envision it because it's authentic and coming from you, just do it.

People just do it.

And being, and letting, have some space, like let go of stuff a little bit. Just enjoy the simple things of letting the sun shine on your face and take a deep breath and be happy that you're alive. And I know it sounds corny and silly, but I swear it works. It does. I've seen it happen for too many people.

So if you need some extra support, you know, Amy and I are here for you. You can find me at Better Human Income. And Amy, what's your website?

At the Moment it's Amy Christensen.com but I have exciting things that are about to be released right after the first of the year, so we'll talk about that.

Yeah. So if you need any additional support in your journey into 2023 and pushing yourself to your highest level, your next level, finding some growth and, and excitement and joy in your world. You can reach out to us that way. And I'm so happy to do this again.

And we're gonna cut you off. No.

And we're out of here.

We're out of here. Give us a, like, give us a drop. We'd love to hear more from the folks that are listening, kind of what topics are coming up from you and what can we expand on. We really appreciate feedback and it helps us kind of design out what's working for you. Because we're here. We're here for you.

I want to share a goal. Can I share a goal real quick?

Absolutely.

So for 2023, consistency, consistency, consistency on the things that bring you joy, that bring you energy. And this is something that. This podcast brings me joy and brings me energy. And I want to be more consistent with being here with you and being here for our listeners.

Absolutely. I'm here. Here. Hoorah. We're doing something consistently right. Every, every day we do something consistently. So it might as well. You can redesign it to be consistent for the things that you feel are important and are bringing you happiness and a joyful life, right?

Yes, absolutely.

All right, Brian, I could not have done this last year without you, I can tell you that. So I appreciate you very much.

I appreciate you back.

I appreciate 2022, because I doubt we'll do another one before next week. So everybody have a fabulous end of 22 celebration. I hope that you have lots of things you can look back and find the positive in, find the growth in, and find a way to look forward with excitement and anticipation and hope and Joy in 2023.

What's your story? What's your 2023 story? Write it.

All right, let's get to work. All right, bye. Have a great day. Bye. Hey, friends, thank you for tuning in to the All Things Good for you podcast. Please note, any information, experiences, ideas or opinions discussed today are for educational and thought provoking purposes only and not intended as medical advice. If anything piqued your curiosity, please consult with your doctor or personal medical professional. And if you're enjoying all things good for your podcast, hop on over and leave us a five star review so we can continue delving in and providing great content. Thanks again and we hope you're inspired to stay informed and responsible along your health and wellness journey.

Did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? In fact, most of the things you depend on every day are from essential infrastructure to important innovations. America is made with recycled materials. Learn how@recycled materials.org looking to get out.

There and feel the in your hair? Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away. And with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability ability to hitch up and tow with ease and Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence Chevrolet together let's drive.