Ep. 38 Cultivating Energy

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I think you should think about and treat your energy like it's a precious resource and that you're in charge of tending to it. Hello friends. You are listening to the All Things Good for you podcast. I'm your host, Brian Bowen, founder of.

Integrative Health, Inc. And I'm Amy Christiansen, your co host and creator of Amy Christensen Health and Wellness Coaching.

Join us as we explore the world of health and wellness and all things that make you feel good. From ancient traditions to modern advancements and technologies that give you the tools for a life well lived.

What new paths might you discover on your health and wellness journey? Tune in each week as we deep dive into a variety of concepts and hear from other fun, passionate health and wellness experts on their experiences and philosophies.

And remember, stay open minded and integrated. How you doing, Amy?

Hey, Brian, I'm doing good. How are you?

It's like not morning anymore, so I'm like, good morning. How you doing? What's up? What you up to?

How you doing? How's your energy level today?

Well, I am cultivating some energy, Amy. I am cultivating energy this morning, you know. Yeah, yeah. Starting off good, starting off strong.

We have to cultivate it, right? It's like if we don't cultivate it the way we want it to go, it's going to sometimes go on its own. Little wild weed growing process. Maybe it'll grow in a way we don't want it to.

I know. I think starting off this New Year's, you know, this energy conversation of if we're cultivating or neglecting our energy is really important to start your new year off with. I think that, you know, we, we talk about goals and we talk about all this stuff, but we tend to forget about the resources we need to make those happen. And so I think you should think about and treat your energy like it's a precious resource and that you're in charge of tending to it. You and you have to ask yourself, are you neglecting or cultivating this resource and everything you do, your thoughts, your behaviors, your actions, the people you're with. So I kind of want to geek out on that a little bit.

I don't know, it feels like a lot. I think that's. We have to think about everything all the time, right?

Well, I think there's some simplistic ways to do it, but the awareness, to have the awareness around it, it's like, you know, it's. The more reps you do, it just snaps, right? You just, you just, you just said it. But I think that we don't have the awareness we need at a high level to be able to identify these things as quickly as possible. And next thing, you know, like you said, sometimes it sucks you down this road and you're like, God, this is exhausting, or God, this person's exhausting, or God, this activity or, or, you know, whatever. And that can. Those drains, these energy drains as a draining or energy you're building and they can show up in good things too, so.

Well, it's exactly it, right? Like, I mean, that was my point in saying that it's like, oh, God, that's seems like a lot, but really, okay, you're still picking. You are cultivating your energetic process one way or another. It doesn't have to be a lot. It can be as simple as a reflection on what's my thought about this, right? Like, how am I going to approach it? It doesn't have to be a lot. I think a lot of people make. Make a mountain out of Mohill, to use a what a cliche term or what have you. But we do love it. You know, it doesn't have to be a lot. It can be literally the sense of I have control or it has control. Am I reacting to my day or am I designing my day? Am I designing my moment or am I just letting this moment go and letting my thoughts go wherever I want? And how can we very quickly design a habit to kind of switch that. That process? Okay, am I going to think negatively about it or am I think positive about it? And we're not always in control of everything that comes into our day. I mean, we're in control of how we respond to it. But like we said, you know, sometimes it's. We choose how to react.

Yeah, well, that's. Is it a positive? Like just going back to positive and negative? You said just as simplistic. Is it a positive charge or a negative charge? You know, in one sense, because, you know, a little quote here, Albert Einstein once said, the most powerful force in the universe is compound interest. And we talk about the compounding effect in so many ways, especially as it relates to musculoskeletal stuff. But if you haven't thought or an action or activity or something that's given a positive charge. We got to remember this is a compounding effect there as, as well as the negative stuff. And so I think we all know people that can jump out at us that clearly have compounded and stored up a bank of negative charges that are draining them at so many levels. And then we have people in our lives that we can clearly see that have done a great job of creating and compounding the interest of all these positive charges. And their life has more vibrancy and enthusiasm and joy and abundance in it.

So I think we, as often as we do, we get a little ahead of ourselves.

Now. We just jumped right into it today because we have so much energy. And.

This is what happens when we start later in the morning. We've both been up and doing things that bring a lot of energy and positivity. And so we're just like, here's the stuff.

Oh, I just feel like I get, I'm excited about this because I really think that. Yeah. Just in case you're not clear, we're talking about identifying, identifying energy drains or energy builders in your life. Right. If you're leaking energy somewhere, are you building energy? And this to me is a very important piece that even I do not have 100 handle on. And I have to have more awareness in my life because I have been sucked down some paths as well. And, and so. But this is the detail work that makes the difference. This is the detail work that can take you to your next level. So I think this is critical. I think we should talk more about it. As we're talking about it. I'm even realizing how, how much more critical it is than what I even started off this morning thinking about so well.

And I still feel like it can go in a lot of different directions. And there's so many aspects of how you preserve or build, protect, recharge your energy bank. Right. And we, we see a lot of that in our, what we're building and what you and I are doing with our, our personal businesses and our coaching processes. We see how important energy level throughout your day is significant to your happiness, your productivity, your projection and fulfillment overall and your goals and what makes you happy in life. It's hard to imagine that you can have a successful hour or day and whether that's professional, health wise, personal life wise. If you don't have the energy to deal with those things and to plan those things, if you're not actively active in them, how are they going to grow. Right. So I think we see that significance. And so I think where this, where we started with this was, you know, what's fueling your day and what's draining your day. And that oftentimes is an outward in approach. So yes, there are things that can kind of come into our day and we can say what's draining our day or what's taking our energy or what's taking our focus. But really what are we allowing is it really starts within. It starts with what you are choosing to participate in or not participate in. It's choosing on how you interpret a situation or an activity. It's you choosing what you want to lend yourself to and how you want to respond to something. And you are choosing really the base part is thoughts. Now, I don't know if you want to share this, but you gave me, you said something this morning about the way you woke up and kind of had to. You had this one response and you switched it.

Yeah. So I guess, yeah, energy drains. Like you were saying that energy drains can show up from activities, from people, from jobs. But more importantly, I feel like the details that we need to. That aren't as obvious sometimes our thoughts and behaviors, right. The things that we, you know, that's coming from between our ears. And so when I woke up this morning, my dogs, I had two dogs and one got up twice in the middle of last night and they did that the other, other night too. And so I was trying to sleep in and get a little rest. I woke up and I was a little exhausted. And the first one of my thoughts is we got this podcast this morning and we got to do this and it had this like, heaviness to it, which I know. And I'm like, wait a second. That's. That was an energy draining thought. Like just that action of my feeling in the emotion that I was putting behind the thought, right. Reinforcing this, this energy drain. And so I was like, I don't. That's not. I know ultimately I love doing this. And so I'm just in a moment here, right? So I'm not going to follow that thread. I'm not going to pull on that thread. I'm going to go get up, have my coffee, I'm going to take a shower and we'll feel like a superhuman again and, and get excited. And sure enough, that's what happened. But I think oftentimes we, we hang with those thoughts too long, right? And we don't catch them, we don't catch them to identify that that was A draining daughter. And I was reinforcing this, this behavior or this, this thought process. And, and so that can show up in many ways. And I guess, you know, before we move along here, I would like to talk real quick about. Because when we say energy, there can be a vagueness to it. But how does energy positive or negative?

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Drive show up in our lives that maybe this can help some people identify because I think that as we're talking through this delay, a little bit of that foundation might give some people some. Aha. So for me, you know, this morning, that was. It had a heaviness to it. It was a draining thing. I was kind of like avoiding it a little bit. And I had this, you know, what I felt like was this negative thought. And it was kind of a little, you know, cloudy, if you will. So what. What are some things, Amy, let's talk about some positive experiences with positive energy and how it shows up for you.

Well, for me. Okay.

I mean, what's it feel like?

Oh, you know, the feelings. Right. It feels like this building. It feels like this radiating. It feels like an excitement, feels like butterflies, anticipation. It's joy, you know, for me. And that's why, you know, we're gonna, at one point, we'll talk about what's coming up in my world. But it all starts with a place of joy for me. And that's what that good energy feels like. And we can. I just tying back to what you were saying about waking up this morning. It dawned on me as you were explaining story. I had kind of a similar thing and I didn't really realize I. I actually did that same process until you were explaining yours. So. And it also has to do with my dog.

Those dogs. Clearly, we've solved the. We've solved the problem.

Well, Tavi likes to wake up in the morning and he just waits for me. And so he used. He's not allowed to just jump up on the bed. He has to be invited. And he Has a little blankie because I like to control my. My space, and I. I'm a light sleeper, so he's not. Because I don't love my dog, but. So he'll wait at the edge of the bed in the morning, and he'll just. You'll wake up, and he'll just be looking at me, and then he starts to kind of whimper, talk to me a little bit. Because it's either, I need a pet, I need a cuddle, or I need to go out right now. And so if he needs. If he wants a pet and a cuddle, I'll just pat the bed and he'll jump up and I'll give him some belly rubs, right? And that's usually like, the best way to start the morning. Like, oh, my gosh, I just love my dog. He's so sweet. And get some cuddles and some love. And this morning, it didn't go that way. It was annoying. He jumped up on the bed without invitation, and then he was trying to get up to, like, I don't like him up on my pillows, but. And he was trying to, like, go up where he's not supposed to. And then I told him no and get down, scooch down. And then he kind of, like, pawed me and scratched me, and I was like, oh, that's such an irritating way to wake up. And as soon as I said it, I caught it, and I was like, you know, my puppy just needs love. So I discipline. Like, I still have to have boundaries with him. I made him get down, and then I invited him back up, and then we hugged and cuddled and played, and it was just like an immediate switch, but it was so fast that I was like, oh, my gosh. I am observing my interpretation of this experience, and I'm wasting and morning time that I love my puppy and I love Tavi, and I see that he loves me, and I'm like, I don't. I can shift that, but I think it really takes the ability to one, recognize, like you had said, okay, what are the things that make you feel good? And what does that feel like? What does that look like? And how can we catch a moment knowing that we can? It really is up to us to pick. We get to choose. I could have stayed in that angry space. I could have woke up irritated and frustrated with Toddy and, like, just, come on, let's go. You know, you could gone in that direction. But building the skill and the ability to say, one, acknowledge, I can control my thoughts, one, I have the Skill where I'm becoming more aware of those immediate thoughts. Is this good? Is this negative? Is this helpful? Is this building the type of day and type of morning that I want? And two, do I. What's the, what's the rational and, you know, responsible way to reroute that process and take back control of my morning? Because then it was lovely and I just, I've had such a wonderful, nice, pleasant morning.

Good job. Yeah, I do want to point out, I do want to point out with the both, clearly we have origin source of some of this as far as we were both waking up and we had some sleep stuff. But I just want to point out to everybody, too, that we do, you know, cultivate energy by our sleep habits, our nutrition, our exercise. Like, you know, in previous podcasts we talked about prenatal and postnatal Qi and this postnatal cheese, this energy that you derive from good mindset and exercise and nutrition and sleep and behaviors and all that stuff. But we're kind of micro detailing and not just being, you know, going into this conversation with like, oh, to have better energy, you need eight hours of sleep. To have better energy, you need nutrition. This is micro detailing it into the aspect of being able to identify the little things of thoughts and behaviors and actions and people and stuff like that. That could be creating leaks or areas where you have opportunities to cultivate and build. And we have a little framework later. But I just wanted to point that out because we were both waking up and. And I know with good energy, like, when you get a good night's sleep, you wake up and you're like, ready to take the day on, right? So it shows that energy is like manifesting itself, the energy showing up. And so I think to add to your, you know, what good energy feels like to you, I also have a sense of my willpower so much stronger when I have an energy surplus in my bank, right. Like, I have a vibrancy and, and I feel like there's a. I'm ready to. I have a thing. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. And it's like I'm a kid waiting to open up my Christmas presents. There's that just like super excited, like, oh my God, I can't weight. And you know, so there's. Everybody's got some different feelings with it.

But, well, and yeah, I think there's no, that's a very good point. Like, if you kind of have to build a good base and so if you're, you're certainly going to set yourself up for better situations when you have a good foundation of good nutrition, you're, you know, doing things that help make your body healthier. All of, you know, sleeping, all of that sets you up for good space. Right? But some, But I think we also have to prepare ourselves on a regular basis to be in a not so ideal situation and still decide how we are going to show up and how we're going to interpret this. And I like you put down a quote in here or you made this statement in our, in our note bank, right? And you were like, you should think about and treat your energy like a precious resource that you are in charge of tending to. Are you neglecting it or are you cultivating this resource and everything that you're doing? Right.

Pretty good, huh? Pretty good.

Pretty good. That's fantastic.

That's original.

You did so good. And you, you nailed.

Is a precious resource.

It is, it is. And, and you should think, okay, so let's look at that like a resource of water. Okay, great. We live in a home. We're gonna have foundational base and we have running water. It's purified. It comes from some big, lovely place that us. And that's lovely. Well, if we go backpacking, camping or, you know, if you're in a, a terrible situation and you only have, you know, you're on some camel in the desert, I don't know why that's the thing that people that my mind went to, but you know, you're, you're running out of that water source. You're going to be very respectful of how and when you use it, you're going to recognize how much, how, you know, what are those reserves. You're going to pay attention. Like when I go backpacking and I, you know, not only am I planning ahead, am I sleeping near a water source, do I have my filter system? What type of filter system am I bringing based off of how far and how high I'm hiking and how far back I'm going, You know, is there a day or so that I'm not going to have water? Do I always have a backup? Do I have my dog? Does the person I'm backpacking with have the ability to do these things as well? You know, so you're planning and you're paying attention. You're forecasting some of that because you're going to have this precious resource and you're gonna mediate it, right? You're gonna pay attention and value it. I think we have to do the same thing when we wake up every day and throughout Your day doing a self check. Check your water filter. Check your camelback.

Yeah. With your water. I was just thinking about and kind of going back to a phrase that was stuck in my head when I was talking a little bit ago about like, I can't wait to do the sentence. I can't wait. Right. Is driven by this like, positive, awesome, beautiful energy. I can't wait to have that drink of water. Right.

Yeah.

I can't wait to whatever. Fill in the blank. I am excited for blank. Yeah, I, I enjoyed that. So, so what is your, like, what sentence? Because I'm just thinking about reverse engineering this a little bit. Right.

Okay.

So like, what if you're like, I can't wait. So if I say, if I say I can't wait to go to work Monday morning, like, what's somebody's. Like if you were to say that and you didn't feel that way, you're gonna know quickly, right. Because your mind might say, you know, or whatever.

Right.

So then, okay, well, what is that? So clearly there's an inner draining, There's a, there's an energy draining component to that. So I'm just thinking of ways to help people like, you know, outside of this framework that we're going to talk about a little bit later. Because I just feel like when I say I can't wait, like, even that sentence I get, that gets me excited.

Right.

There's an energy behind it. I can't wait to go look at this thing. I can't wait. I'm writing this book. I can't wait to go sit down at the coffee shop for two hours and just dive. Excuse me. Just dive into it. Right? So. So I think, like, since we're on this positive energy conversation and like, what does it feel like? You know, how can you. Excuse me. Connect to it?

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You know, find your sentence structure maybe to even start out, like, what is it? Like, what does it feel like to you?

You.

Yeah, this makes me feel vibrant. Because why so anyway, just a lot.

Well, I think and that starts with that self awareness process. We have to take time to befriend ourselves first of all and not be afraid of what we are feeling. I think so many people, you know, we talk a lot about positive psychology and positive this and positive that. And it is not a Pollyanna ignoring everything is good and we can't look at the negative because that actually is not. That's very negative to your life. We have to look at and be unafraid to look at the things that are also negative. Don't be afraid of that feeling. Like, you know, both of us could have picked to ignore confronting that negative space we woke up with and have just really plowed on through our day with negativity. The fact that we weren't afraid of saying why am I feeling that way? What's really going on? You know, we do it really fast. It's not like we're writing a, you know, an outline for it or anything. It's just we recognize it, it doesn't make us afraid. And we just say okay, what's that negative space? How can I turn this around? So not only do we need to recognize what good energy feels like and those good feelings, what's charging us up, what's making us excited, what also comfortable being comfortable with what's also draining us. Where is that uncomfortable is coming from? Why am I feeling that? What can I do with it?

So sorry, go ahead.

I think, well now I lost my train of thought.

Sorry. I'm so sorry.

It's. They're so fleeting. They're like little wild butterflies in my head. And now it's gone.

I know I get excited when I have a thought. I'm like hold, hold, hold, hold in my head. I hold and then it's like, okay, I couldn't hold any longer.

No, I just think like they're talking about your framework. Like we got to start with two things. Identifying the feeling, is it building? Is it draining? That's framework number one, letting your. But that self awareness allows you to look at the feeling no matter what it is to be non judging to yourself in observing what you're feeling. Because our feelings and our emotions are innately not wrong or bad. They are just data.

So with a positive we're talking about observing the feeling. So I just want to stick with this for a minute. So we were giving some. So for people to have a. First of all awareness is important. So we have to have awareness. But for some, for some of us, including myself, Sometimes I'm not sure, like what the hell that good positive energy feels like. So we talked a little bit about like the aliveness, the vibrancy, the running towards the joy, the. I can't wait, you know, the. This excites me because that's like positive energy. So I'd like to, if we can just dive a little bit. I know you and I were talking about it in our experience this morning a little bit about some little ahas that are signals that something is draining us. So when I was telling you about somebody who was calling me the other day, and I know I needed to talk to them, but I picked my phone up, looked, and there's a sense of avoidance. And I put my phone down because I did avoid it. And I knew I had to build up courage just to. Just to push into it later. But there was a moment of avoidance. So that is a little hallelujah symptom, if you will, of a negative drain. So we have avoidance. We have. Give me some others. Let's list some out here.

Well, avoidance, drain. Resistance, anger.

Resistance. That's a good one.

Yeah.

Size, size. God, the world does that a lot. Sorry, go ahead.

Yeah, no, just so I would.

I said sorry, go ahead a lot today. I think I drank too much coffee.

I think there's something there with that. It's self apology all the time is probably some kind of like abuse of some sort. Yeah, yeah, just draining things like anything that's resistant, action, avoidance or. Or poor coping mechanisms. You know, if we build coping mechanisms of avoidance or overindulgence or, you know, so that you're desensitizing yourself to it.

Irritability.

Irritability, anger.

What about defensiveness?

Whatever. I don't know what you're talking about, Brian. Why would that be?

That was a negative charge.

Totally. I mean, and I think when we. We have to be able to look back at your days and see where we bring up resistance. Where is avoidance coming up? Where Coping, unhealthy coping, like coping mechanisms coming up. Where are we building? Just that space. Okay, so it's not bad for you to have seen this person calling you and you have this little bit of avoidance. What comes into is why is there a confrontation happening there? Is there something that you maybe had made an assumption on about what the scenario would look like? Is there something that you're feeling pressure to be there for that you're not prepared for? Have you. I know I'm throwing out a lot of stuff, but like, have. Have you maybe not held a boundary that you should have with this person and you're feeling compromised in that area. So you got to look at again. It's like the why am I feeling? This is. Why am I excited? Why am I not excited?

That's. I used my brain framework, actually, when I dealt with that, that was very helpful. If you remember the brain, the breathe, recognize, adjust, inquire a new mindset. So that was. Only took a couple seconds, but you just breathe took a minute, recognize one word. You know what that word was, whether it was anxiety or avoidance was yours, right? Avoidance, avoidance. So I breathe recognized avoidance, did some more breathing. I adjusted my nervous system from sympathetic to parasympathetic. Once I was in that state, I recognizing what it was about. And then before I picked up the phone and called them, I had developed a new mindset or basically new mindset on how I was going to engage with this person and what direction I was going to take it.

So, okay, just for somebody who may either forgotten what you said or didn't podcast. So say that again. So what's the structure that you use?

So it's brain. So breathe. So we. I like to just keep it simple and do the four seconds in through my nose, hold for four seconds, out for four seconds, back in for four seconds. So do that a couple times. So you just want to kind of ground yourself. The point of that is grounding yourself first and then recognize what that feeling was. Because if you don't ground yourself first, sometimes you can just be really reactive. So and just like one word, don't, don't, don't dig into it yet. You never want to dig into it till you're in a calmer place, because otherwise, you know, again, you're reacting more than acting. And so you breathe, calm down, recognize one word, what is it? After that you start breathing again. I always like to use the analogy of this dimmer switch.

And so picture is the A is the A again.

So now it's breathe, recognize, adjust. And so the adjusting part is so you're breathing twice. So you breathe first just to get grounded, recognize what the motion was, go back into your breathing and picture like this dimmer switch coming down. So you're calming down, feeling even more grounded. So you're pulling, coming out of sympathetic state, going into a little bit more parasympathetic. And then once you feel calm and grounded, then you recognize like, what was it about? Okay, avoidance. Why was I avoiding that person? Okay, it's because every time I talk to them, they have this negative and they always want Something. I'm not going to go into it, but so then I really kind of got those pieces down. It makes me feel like they're taking advantage. Okay. So I feel like I'm taking advantage of this. So when I come out of this before I call them, I'm going to engage with them this way. I'm going to hold my boundary this way. And if I need to be extra courageous and just let them know, you know, that I'm feeling this way. And we need to change the dynamics. That's awesome too. So, so, yeah. Does that make sense?

Well, that's the. So I'm looking for the. The. The represent like so. B is breath. R is recognized. A is adjust. What's the.

I inquire.

Oh, inquire. And you're inquiring to yourself.

Yeah, so I'm inquiring to myself. What was that about?

Okay, and then n. New mindset. Okay, I like it. I like it. Okay, so I see that. So you can just. Okay, so just keep. And I think that again, that's a skill, right? There's a little tool so you can use and you have to practice that. And you have to practice that in scenarios before you get into sticky situations. But even if you get to the. Just the bra part of it.

That'S good. Bra. Oh, man.

You know, some people ever say that again? Okay.

Some people have other little things they do that aren't as comp. That's a good one for again, when there's bigger situ. Like, some people just have like little reset moments, you know, when they're, when they're shifting from then things to another. This is like, okay, you know, you're picking up on something negative. You've listened to some of those cues, right? You're feeling that your nervous system, you know, signs that your nervous system are going into sympathetic state are those same signs of negativity, like irritability, sighing, avoidance, you know, you know, all those things. So if you catch yourself moving into that, that means there's a negative charge. You're feeling negative. That means there's a drain. That means it's pulling away from you, cultivating, you know, those positive resources. And so it's not that's taken away.

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It's taking away the opportunity for you to cultivate even more energy that gives you more vibrancy, that gives you more life, that helps support you and the interactions and connections with the people in your life, the activities you do, so forth, so forth. So it's robbing us. It's like a little Camp Roberts stealing from us. And so this is a good way, you know, a good way to, to catch that. And I know you know there's a lot like I, I don't think you can unpack this stuff enough because there is, this is where it gets tricky and this is why I like this little other framework that can be helpful is you can have like some of this stuff feels standalone. It's either good or bad. But you can have a good thing going on that's a positive charge. But within that have little micro components of negative little energy draining leaks. Right. So you could love your spouse, you could be in a relationship and totally adore and love them. But within that relationship have lots of areas where are these little leaks? And, and you know, it's funny because I swear divorce, 90% of it's caused by the dishwasher. Right. They don't load the dishwasher the way I want. They always, they never do that.

Which is really not about the dishwasher unless you're married to an engineer.

Right.

There may be some actual things speaking from my own experiences, but it still goes back to a deeper issue. It's never really about the dishwasher.

100 we know this. Or they're driving like they never, no spouse ever likes the other spouse is driving. Right. They just, they're too, they're too, they hit the gas pedal too much or they slow down too fast or they, they wiggle within their loads. I don't know.

Okay.

But my point.

Perfect. Yes, go ahead because then I want to jump in there.

Perfect. Yeah. So just the point is, is you can still have this overarching like thing that has a good positive charge but have these like little leaks. So one is you, you know, start to try to change, you know, use the brain framework, change your mindset, you know, around the dishwasher or just change, change the whole action, you know, in general. And I'm actually using the dishwasher because this is not only everybody's experience that I talk to almost, you know, as his clients, when we get into these funny conversations. But I had that same thing. So guess what I did is I just started. I started doing the dishes in the morning, and. And it solved it because. So some people don't like to have dishes in the sink in the morning. It doesn't bother me as much. So I tried to get them done because I get up first and put them in the dishwasher before she comes down to see it. And so. And sometimes I do it specifically also maybe where she sees me just finishing it. So I get some street. Some other street cred, which I think.

I mentioned, really go into how manipulative that is. But that's okay.

No, you know what? Everybody wants a little recognition.

That's true.

And that gives me a supercharge. Right. When somebody recognizes and says, oh, thank you so much for doing the dishes. Right. That gives me. Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah. I did that for you, baby.

Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Okay, so that's not manipulative in a bad way. That's just setting everybody up for when that's gives you an accolade, it makes her see you doing something, which makes her have more faith and happiness in you doing the things that make her happy.

Yep.

That's all good. I didn't mean to throw that negative word in there.

Yeah. That. When you said that, I started getting defensive and I had some avoidance towards you.

I'm sorry. I'm gonna come in and take responsibility for something I said inappropriately that was not applicable. So thank you for letting me apologize.

God.

Okay, let's jump into this a little bit differently. So I want to rewind a little bit because some. A couple of things that came up for me. All right? We're talking about what builds energy and what drains your energy. All right? Are we cultivating energy or are we neglecting energy? And that's. That can be. Okay. Is it a person, place thing, Experience? Is it something you like? Is it something you don't like? Is it about, like, what's the energy? Vampires. Right. You and I are both, I would say, fall upon that more empath, like, high energy. We're very giving and outgoing and supportive. You know, I think we tend to have an abundance of energy that we like to share. Right. And then some people who, for whatever reason, maybe they don't have that same energy bank, or maybe they use their energy in a different way. Like, I'm. My sister and I, we've always kind of taken it like I'm extremely extroverted and she's pretty introverted. I think as we've grown and some of the boundaries and things have changed and our focus has changed. Both of us have eased into the other space a little bit. But my sister will 100 tell you she's an introvert. And I will tell you I'm an extrovert. But I have to say, as I've gotten older and I've gotten a little less extrovert, I'm more protective of my energy. Let's just say that. But I used, I used to have to go to environments and like people. She would always say, you need that, that people to like, build up your energy. You need. That extrovert needs other people. And I was like, I need other people to give my energy to. And it kind of changed her perspective on how I interacted with people and why I wanted those environments. So, like, I had so much energy being in a live, like, bunch of people. Lots of talking, lots of ideas. It wasn't that I was needing to take their energy. I needed to give my energy.

Well, love it, love it.

Because I think some of us are naturally that way. We have what they've labeled people as energy vampires. I think sometimes that's not fair. But I could certainly see where, you know, there's that give and take and then there's just this place where people take, take, take, take, and that's the energy vampire. Right. But really those people, I think, need other people's energy and they feed off of it for whatever reason. Those people don't have their own bank or they haven't learned skills to cultivate their own energy. And so they use other people's processes and thinking and support and positivity to kind of pull on them. So they. It. I don't, I don't think that they're necessarily unable biologically, physically to have their own energy unless they truly have a mental health issue. Or maybe they're not able to make their own dopamine, serotonin balance. I mean, there's definitely a clinical space for that conversation. But when we're just talking about normal life to life, it's still my responsibility. In every situation that we talk about, it is the individual's person's responsibility to monitor where their energy is growing and going. So if, if we're talking about people that are draining you, these energy vampires could be people, it could be activities, it could be environments, but it all starts with what we are allowing and how we are thinking about those situations. Right.

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Yeah.

And how many people don't? And I have somebody very close to me in my life or should be closer, I should say that is, you know, a big energy drain.

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Drive and but they're almost so close that I can't engage with them. I shouldn't say that I need to step into it to try to engage with them and to try to help give them some more tools, you know, because I think there, there's no personal agency and there's also a lack of awareness because people just don't maybe give this person the feedback that they actually need to really see it. And to have the tools to have the tools to actually, to have the tools to actually employ in their personal agency to take control then one, they.

Have to want it, right? And I, I do want to. I, as I'm reflecting on the conversation and where that was going, I, if I may back myself because I love and adore my sister and she's amazing. I want to just follow up with some other comment about the vampires and the night. I, I hope that it didn't come across like my sister. I don't think at all introverts are energy vampires because here's the thing. Or you know, I don't know if I made that clear. When I talk sometime with my sister, she's an introvert. I'm an extrovert. I have lots and lots of energy. And it's not that she doesn't have her own energy, but she creates her own and I give her too much, right? I can be overwhelming to her and that makes her withdraw more and I have to recognize that I have to respect her space, right? I have to not just decide that I'm the one that's like here go. I mean I do often tell myself here go do this, Cindy, you got to go do this. She, she would not argue with that at all. And I have to respect that and like, okay, this works for me and I have all this energy and I know that I can be selfish, right? I can be self focused on what My need is and what gives me good energy management by giving out my energy to other people or, you know, sharing that when it's not what they need. I don't know that introverts don't have their own or even energy. Vampires may not. May have enough of their own energy. But, you know, we have to be careful who we are interacting with and respect what their process is.

Yeah.

You know, and so we can give each other, we can show tools and we can show up for people and try to help them. I'm never going to make my sister me. I'm never going to make my sister accept all of the energy that I'd probably like to give her in a conversation. It's just not. I have to step back my own self, my over positivity or my over energetic space. So you can have those people like just recognizing energy. Vampires are the people, like typically people and things that draw all of your energy out and they'll just keep taking and keep taking and keep taking and keep taking and keep taking, Right?

Yep.

But at the same time, we can over give and overwhelm people. So what do you call those? Energy vomiters. What are we?

Yeah, Well, I think that the, you know, the great thing about working with patients on a daily basis is you learn to adapt to each person and meet them where they're at. And I think that this is an important piece, you know, there, because part of it is, you know, when you're with that person, like, hey, is this somebody who I need to have in my life? Right. Is this somebody who there's a value in the relationship for both parties or if it's somebody that has to be in your life, you know, how do you protect that energy or change your mindset and do the brain framework and, and all that stuff or. I was listening to the podcast you turned me on to the other day with Peter Crone and Kathy Heller, and she had said something that was pretty, pretty cool with that her rabbi taught her is project instead of protect. So then the other thing is instead of giving them the power to do that, project the energy that you want it to, that you want to have, you know, in that relationship. That might not be the way she meant it, but in this situation, I think it's applicable for sure.

Yeah. So, yeah. And I think. So observing how other people's scenarios are, that will also help preserve our amount of energy. You just said something and then I got trapped in the, the, the podcast you're talking about with Kathy and, and Peter. Butterflies there they Go.

That's okay. Sometimes. Sometimes I say really profound stuff and it's just hard to, like, get it to stick, you know? I'm just kidding.

That's right. I'm. I. That is so profound. I need to meditate.

Yeah.

Let me absorb it. Let me absorb it. So I think just tying back into where I was going to go back with this is like kind of pulling back into understanding, recognizing your energy throughout your day and. Oh, I know what you're saying. Like how I was saying, you know me, look, we can have an abundance of energy and we're sharing it. We feel like that's really positive. Well, we can take that and put that into other things. Like just because in a scenario is positive. Because when we originally started talking about this podcast, you had mentioned a couple of little topics you wanted to talk about. We wanted to dive in and investigate. And you're like, even positive things can be energy draining.

Absolutely.

If not set up with good boundaries or expectations or control. Right. And that was kind of what popped up in my head as far as, like, I have a lot of energy and I'm very positive. And we think that's all good stuff. But then in some scenarios, it can be a drain. Like, there's a point where my sister gets overloaded and she's like, this is no longer feeding. My soul is sucking in the energy out of me because she feels overwhelmed. Her interpretation is just too much information. It's a lot. I'm uncomfortable or whatever. I'm feeling too much pressure. Do I have to do all these things? I have to remember all these things. So we have to, like, all of it can be that way. So how do we look at, like, other scenarios? Like, what comes to mind for you when you were bringing those scenarios up, Ryan, when you were like, some things we do that we think are positive are actually energy draining.

Yeah, I mean, I think, I think that, you know, we can stick to some. Since it's New Year's, I mean, I think that people are thinking about exercise. And so you exercise. The overall all arcing theme is it's a very. And action is. It's healthy for you. We know it's healthy. Scientifically, it's proven it's healthy. It makes you feel good, it's cultivating energy. But there's, there's things within that, like, again, just to keep it simple, like riding a bike. Maybe that's all that person has at home. And they. That bike's been sitting there for five years because they absolutely hate riding the bike. Even Though they know it's good for their knees and it's good for, you know, it's a safe exercise for them and it's going to work their cardiovascular system. And so it has all these yummy, positive energy producing components to it. But psychologically they just, there's nothing they enjoy about it. They don't like sitting on it hurts their butt. You know, they don't like the room it's in, they don't like the vibe. So it's energy draining. So therefore they don't, they don't do that. So you know, in that situation you could be changing the mindset or you have to, there's other alternatives to getting the same outcomes. Right. So you know, you have to first look at it and you know, you know, I do want to get into that energy gauge, so I don't, I'll talk about this just for a minute. But if you're like, oh, that's a negative 5 on my energy gauge because A, I avoid it, B, I avoid it so much. It's been sitting there for five years and it's collecting dust. But there's this, there's this tension or pool that you know, you know that it's good for you and you need to do it. Which that brings me to a whole nother experience. So how, how can, how can I take that and move it into a plus one, plus two, plus three category? So that's a bike, a bike kind of situation or exercise. But if I can throw one more out here is think about. Because I think that the actions are. Some of the actions and stuff like that are easier. But sometimes it's the behaviors and the mindsets that I think can be sneaky on us. So sometimes it's a thought that we keep having a reoccur one. Maybe it's a self deprecating thought. Maybe it's a thought of self doubt or you know, something like that that's a very energy draining, you know, thing. So to be aware of, of the thoughts that are in your head and then also the behaviors. Right. So and this is since we're talking about New Year stuff, this could be around alcohol, it could be around sugar, just as an example. You know, those are ones that keep, you know, that are pretty reoccurring for, for a lot of people. And so let's just say you have like, oh my God, I love my chocolate. Now this is before it was contaminated with roulette, of course, with recent research studies. But I love my chocolate. It makes me feel good. I Get, you know, so much emotional joy from it. But I also, you know, I'm 30 pounds overweight and I'm not supposed to be eating sugar. And so there's this yummy like positive thing in there that makes you feel good and brings you joy and, and there are some, some benefits to it maybe health wise. In the chocolate area, of course research keeps changing, but at the same time there's this other pool that is a guilt and shame and self deprecating thoughts and stuff like that. So the, that's a situation where you really have to pause and go, wait a second, is this a behavior that I just totally need to let go of? Because that intense tug of war, if you will, is actually draining itself. Like that was exhausting for me to even think about. That was exhausting for me to even put that situation together. But that's one example of many behaviors that are happening on a daily basis in people's lives. So. So when do you just drop it right? When do you just drop it right?

And you know, working with people in the health and fitness level, we address initially like well, really quickly we initiate the understanding of mindset around exactly that scenario. It's not the chocolate that's bad.

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Unless you're eating really honestly processed heavy chocolate, like chocolate, like you said, could be good for you in a lot of ways. It's how it's being used. And what scenario are you using it in if you, you know, water's great, but if you're drowning, you don't really want more water. Like you know, it's, you gotta what, where, what kind of situation are you walking into? But what's your mindset around it? And if, if you're beating yourself up with guilt, I don't care what you're eating you. You know, you're creating such an unhealthy environment inside yourself that if you don't start with your interpretation, your mindset, your understanding of gratification and reward and healthy buildup and pleasure, if you don't understand those boundaries and you can't control boundaries with it, you need to have it removed. Like, so when you were saying, I was asking you like, okay, talk to what you were talking about with how something good for you can actually be an energy drain. Well, I see now what you're saying because I immediately went to wine, of course. I can totally see how a good thing could be bad if you get too much of it. Right, I know. And, but I also see what you were saying is like the perception of something you've convinced yourself that is good, that is under a category of good, quote unquote. Because I don't think, you know, a lot of the good, bad stuff can be rearranged a little bit. But like you're saying we perceive exercise and moving your body is quote unquote good, right? Yep. But if you're shoving yourself into something that you think is good, but you hate and you can't stand it and it makes you miserable, then maybe you find another area of something to do. Right, Right. Okay. So in both ways, yes, you can overindulge in something that's quote unquote good for you and it'd still be not good for you. And you can shove yourself into an idea of something that's good for you, but you're doing it in a miserable way. Energy drainers, both of those are going to end up in a negative and a neglecting and deficit of your overall energy. Am I on track with what you were saying? Yep.

Yep. 100. Yep.

Okay. Perfect.

And again, what did Albert Einstein say? He said the most powerful force in the universe is compound interest. And so these things add up. And so it could be a little, the exercise piece here could be a little of the mindset piece and self deprecating stuff in that and you know, thoughts. It could be a little bit of these behaviors or actions that you're doing. It could be a little bit of people in your life. And so by itself, it might not seem like a lot, but you add those things up and all of a sudden you're, you're depleted. You're negative too. Right. And all of a sudden now you don't have quite the amount of willpower, energy or vibrancy to go do some of those things you love. It's so easy when you are drained to not pursue the things you want to pursue. It's so easy to, to just sit down and give up. It's so easy to, you know, and then unfortunately, then that adds other, more energy draining things, you know, and again, the compounding of. Compounding, compounding. So even if you just do a little bit of the positive cultivating things here and a little bit here and a little bit here, it doesn't mean you have to change one thing dramatically. You don't have to go quit the job that you hate tomor you can start tweaking the little things with inside the job. You can start tweaking little things inside those personal relationships. You can start tweaking the little things with, you know, your, your lifestyle. You can start tweaking these little things and just think a little bit here adds up to a lot.

Yep. Yeah. And I just have to jump in and say kind of along that whole process of too much of a good thing can still be an energy drainer. I, I want to tie that back into an understanding of just like what happens chemically in the body too. Like with your dopamine levels, like too much of a good thing, you're really peaking your dopamine and then it drops back down. And so like we've talked before, like dopamine has a baseline and every time you do something really fantastic, your, your dopamine bumps up from that baseline and when it falls back down and that, that stimulant or that reward or that excitement or the environment or whatever it is goes away. Oftentimes I'm not sure if it goes every time, but oftentimes it goes back down below baseline. And so then your body kind of has to rebuild itself back up to a baseline. And one of the things like Dr. Huberman talks about is, you know, just like intermittent fasting. He's like it's intermittent levels of dopamine release. So sometimes you want those peaks to be high and sometimes you want them to just be a little bit high. And then you need to recognize that sometimes you're going to have some LS and LS or lows, however that came out. Whatever accent I like, I like ls.

I'm going with ls. I'm from Missouri. Fits right into my vocabulary.

Well, yeah. Where was I? So just the expectations. Yeah, the dopamine levels and those expectations of monitoring and, and controlling the levels. And it's not like you have to plan it out, but your intensities and just being aware of. Okay, sometimes you're going to have this really high level of, you know, dopamine release or this real excitement and this reward system and this. I achieved this thing and I've had these great days and I had so much fun. And it's like coming back off of a vacation. You just had so much fun and you come back and you kind of like drop down into this little bit of like blues melancholy. I'm kind of sad. And a lot of times it's just your body's natural process of the dopamine's dropped low and now we're going to rebuild. And it's like just that awareness of there's nothing wrong with you, you're not in depression. Depression. I, you know, you're not depression. You may have a little blues, but give yourself some rest, some comfort, some reflection to enjoy what you just achieved. And you'll bring those dopamine levels back up on a chemical basis just to bring in the biological process of all of this. This like recognizing energy level. What's, what's feeding your energy and giving you excitement. What are, you know, your levels of control. But again, not being afraid of those negative feelings and not being afraid to sit in some days and some times where things aren't all that wow, everything's perfect and great and we have all this energy. It's okay to kind of cocoon and, and comfort and, and nourish yourself just a little bit without thinking there's something wrong with you, you'll build back up. But you. I think that's where you get into those like too much of a good thing. And those people who are like energy junkies, like they're constantly looking for an adventure to wow themselves and wow themselves, wow themselves because they can't be in a, in a low position for a little while. And I think it's important to build the skill to be in the low section a little bit.

100 I, I do, I do worked with some people that are energy seekers at a high level, not energy like the kind of energy we're talking about, but that dopamine. And, and usually it's fueled. There's a lot of people I've talked to, there's fueled with a lot of underlying deficiencies, if you will. So there's actually a lot of negative drain kind of components that's happened in their life, usually on a psycho emotional level. And so, and so it's, in a way, it's kind of a false energy. So in Chinese medicine we get into this like deficient excess kind of language. And so is the things that you're producing actually being fed by this deficiency of energy. And then real quick, I just gotta say, you said dopamine so much, I'm not the sharpest tack in the box sometimes. And I kept hearing dopamine and I'm like, wait a second, is that why they call marijuana dope? Does. Does marijuana affect your dopamine? I'm not a marijuana person, but I'm.

Like, I would say yes.

Dopamine. So is that why they call it dope?

I'm going to go with yes. I haven't really investigated that, but just.

Based off of, you know, it's funny, I think this is a very good podcast and probably the only question we're going to get or feedback is the answer of, yes, Brian, here's how it affects it. Like, what about all the other good stuff? Okay, do we, do we have time? I'd like to.

I know all the time in the world. This is not going to be a four hour podcast.

And I was listening to one of Huberman's and I'm at two a two hour mark and I still got more time to go, which is great. So there's. Okay. I wanted to talk about the framework a little bit, this energy gauge. So just like you have a gas gauge, just like you have any other gauges, we're just going to call it an energy gauge. So to keep things simple, first, understand. Well, first of all, I guess let's go back and we're going to have awareness and what are we going to have awareness about? We're going to have awareness about positive energy cultivating experiences and awareness about neglecting or negative energy draining experiences. And so what do those feelings of positive energy ones feel like? What is the feelings of energy draining ones feel like? And so you can keep it simple and think about that. Is it positive, is it negative, is it draining, is it cultivating? Or we could also add this energy gauge to it. Would you like to hear about the energy gauge, Amy?

I still want to know about the energy gauge. And please don't tell me these are things people stick in their earlobes.

That would be so much simpler if they could just do that.

Not that I'm judging those. That's fine, they're cool. Do what you want to do.

Now we, we clearly need some sort of app and ring or something to like just tells people, like stop doing that. We're in such this. I love all the techie stuff, but it's like we're relying so much tech to Tell us how we're doing.

You know, isn't that interesting? They're going that way.

So, like what? I mean, that's important awareness, but it's also like, it has to. You have to be aware upstairs too. So anyway, okay, so picture. You got a chart. And you don't have to write this chart down. This is a mental chart. But zero.

Write this down.

Yes. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah. Actually, if you could get a pen and paper out and write this down. This down. Because scientifically we know that when you write stuff down, this anchors it in. And so anyway, so yeah, if you have a piece of paper, you're going to write a zero, and then that's going to be your neutral. And then you're going to hyphen that out. And then you're going to have a plus one, and then a plus two, plus three, plus three, plus four, plus five. Did I skip something there? And on that's on the right side and on the left side of that zero, you're going to have a hyphen and then you're going to have a negative one, a negative two, a negative three, a negative four, and a negative five.

So in my mind, I'm starting to sweat a little bit because we're going back to mathematical days.

Well, so like on my little chart, I don't actually have all of those written out. I have a hyphen, negative one, hyphen to negative five. So basically a range from. From pos. You need a range from neutral. Arrange from positive one to positive five. On the other side, negative one to negative five. Okay, so obviously the positive are positive charges. There are things that are cultivating us. There are things that are bringing us joy. There are things that are bringing us aliveness. There are things that are the crete that are creating the sentences like, I can't wait. Right. On the opposite side, we have the negative, negative one to negative five. And those are the things that are energy drained, slow leaks. You know, again, all this can be from people, experiences, thoughts, behaviors, actions, so forth. And those are the things that are going to create emotions for us, like avoidance, irritabilities, our sign. Things that are going to create sentences like, I don't want to. Right. So, so totally opposite. So I though. The great thing about this is it's a great tool to help make you. To help drill you into a little bit more deeper contemplation on the things that you're doing in your life.

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So for practice, have the scale and just start creating the list, right? A list of things that you might be doing on a daily basis. People you encounter, your activities and just go to each one of them, to each next to one of them and think about it. Close your eyes for a minute. Don't just like, like, you know, shoot from the hip. But like, all right, Bob at work. Bob. Okay. Bob is a negative two. Okay. Jody. Jody is a positive one. Amy is a positive five.

Right.

You could do, you could do that with people. Okay. My job in, in a broad spec, so, so my point is, is go down the list and rate each one of these. These. If there's something that is certainly more than a negative two, like, those are things you really need to put focus on. Those are things you need to. You could apply the brain framework. How can I change this from a negative 5? Is it possible for me to change this from a negative 5 to a neutral at least or a negative one? Is it a mindset thing? Can I, can I. Is this a situation that I can't change within my mindset or within that? Do I need to change the situation as a whole? Does this person need to be in my life? Does this activity need to be in my life? Right. So what do you have to get rid of? What do you have to stop doing or start doing? What do you have to change? What do you have to. So it's just a great gauge. Now once you get this down and you've practiced this, I mean, I would say if you did this and you even did, you know, wrote out 20 of these, you're going to have enough practice for me to be able to quickly, like throw a sit. Just throw me a situation and I'll tell you what, I would rate it and see how fast I can do it. It.

Oh, you cut out for just a second. Did you just ask me to throw something out?

Yeah. So the. The biggest thing I was. Yeah. If you throw such a circumstance or situation out, like, how quick can you start to just connect to it? Because you've practiced it, you know?

Like, for you.

Yeah, for me.

All right.

How about for yourself? Just do it for yourself. I'll throw something at you. I'll throw something at you. Oh, God. It's really hard to throw something.

Right. Exactly. Okay, thank you.

Throw something at yourself. Throw something at yourself. Give me a person. Chores. All right. All right. What would you rate it at?

Oh, gosh. See, this is why I'm not good at it. Oh, okay. Ah, chores. Okay. This is why I wouldn't be good at doing this because I would have to make a grid. The. It depends on the day. Okay.

All right.

Because sometimes it can be negative and sometimes it's positive. The outcome is always positive.

Okay. So you have a pot. It needs to be. All right. This is a good circumstance. It's something that needs to be done. You have to do it. Okay, so right there, like the experience of just saying, you have to do this. You have to clean the house. What does that give you? Negative one, negative two, positive one, positive. Is it neutral? Like just the. That I have to clean the house?

Yeah.

What comes to you? Right.

If it's a have to. God. See, it's. Is that I have to because I've put this on myself and my place has gotten to be a disaster. Or do I have to because I have company coming over and it's really exciting.

Okay.

I could screw it all up. Don't have to.

Yeah. Yeah. We're gonna have to edit this whole. Whole thing out right here.

No, it's perfect. Because I think that a lot of people go that way, but I. I know what you're saying. So let's just say for the sake of what most people see house chores as, let's say it's a negative one.

Okay. Yeah. So let's say it's a negative one. Within that. Then it's like. Okay, you could say, what is it?

I don't.

Then it's a negative one. What is it that gives me that feeling of a negative one? Well, I just don't feel like I have time to do it because I'm already overwhelmed with other things in my life. Okay. So now it's a time issue.

You.

Right. So now you can at least have something you can work on to rearrange your time or to make more time or guess what, you can delegate it?

Yes.

If you don't like it that much and you don't have the time and you've looked at the time and you're like, I don't want to get rid of this. I don't want to get rid of this. I don't want to get rid of this. But sometimes there's other things you need to get rid of to make time to do it. So is it something you can make more time for? Is it something you can delegate? Or is there another time you can allocate towards it to where it's actually kind of nice and meditative? Right. Like, oh, if I do it in the morning, like before anybody else is up, before the chaos is swarming around me, it's actually kind of meditative and calming because it's like resetting and I like things organized and stuff like that. So that's the, that's the point of it is to, to be able to identify where it's at. And if you're like, oh, it's a plus five, well, great. Don't change anything about it. Keep it there.

I have a friend that's like that. Yeah. She literally would label any kind of cleaning as a plus five. I love her. That's awesome.

That's. And so that's great. And so she can, you can delegate her to come clean your house.

It's exactly what has happened. Like, I have definitely had times where I was so busy and so chaotic and I needed to be out on a run. I needed to be doing some kind of like, like just self taking care of myself and it was not cleaning my place. I have literally just been like, hey, can I. Can I pay you to come clean my house? Well, I'm gone. And I trust her and you know all this and absolutely those. And I think you have to look at that. I've also gotten to where some days, you know, I used to be the person that freaked out if I went to bed with dishes in the sink. It would. If I woke up in the morning to dishes out, it drove me crazy. I felt like I had failed. I had already felt like I had this, this weight of chores and responsibilities on me. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Sounds like a negative five.

It was bad. But I did reach a point to where I was like, you know what? I. There's enough other things that going on in my life that it is not going to. My, my world will not fall apart. If I wake up and there are dishes from a dinner with friends the night before and I Actually got somebody. Actually, a friend of mine helped me shift that perspective when they made this statement about no, because they looked at it, the situation when they woke up in the morning, there was still, like, stuff out from a dinner, like, all the food. You're not being wasteful. But it was a reflection of man. We had such a good time. It was such an enjoyable evening. It was almost like they got to relive the fun that they had. And so I was like, well, that is. I've never really looked at it like that. And that is quite refreshing. I just felt a little bit of. Of personal relief of my expectations on myself. And like, you can actually just enjoy the night. Don't be irresponsible and destructive, but you don't have to have everything perfectly clean. And if you have an easy morning, the next morning, you can enjoy your morning also cleaning your dishes. I. And that's like a reframing. I know that seems so silly, maybe simple for people, but I think if we can apply that to just about anything.

Yeah, no, I think that's great. And again, you change that from a negative five to maybe a negative one, or maybe it was negative five to a plus one. Right. Or whatever. But so to see that you could change that and that, like you said, it might seem like a silly thing, but don't forget the compounding effect of that. Every little stress we have, every little thing builds, and then we become a conundrum. Is it.

Conundrum? Well, there's conundrum, and they got conundrum.

That's the person that's always, like, complaining about everything. I don't know.

We're gonna look that one up.

Okay.

All right.

We're falling apart. No, so. But. So practice the framework. I think it's a good one because I think if I just say, like, when you get really good, you can be like, positive, you know, yes, it's cultivating. Yes, that's. That's draining or that's neglecting or, yes, this is positive. But to help us to really contemplate things, and I'll just be. Even give another personal experience here is I love. I love what I do. I love my patients. But sometimes there's times where you might see a patient on your schedule that gives you a sense of. Sense of stress, a sense of, like, just hit you real quick. Right. And. And it's because that's in an energy draining kind of category with that individual. And so it's like, okay, how do I ground? How would I regroup? How do I have My new mindset, I do my brain framework. And then there's been points, to be honest with you, where it hasn't happened a lot, where I just chose not to to see that patient anymore because it was a constant negative five. And what it does is that constant negative five takes a lot. And especially when you're treating patients throughout the day, you have to let go of that. You have to regroup, you know, and you're taking all this energy to have to do that. And it's not fair. It's not fair to me. It's not fair to the other people. So in context, I, you know, the job that I do, my career is a plus five, but within that, you can again have these like, little other negatives and stuff like that. So I had to change those situations with those people to be able to keep me moving in a positive direction. Because I don't want to wake up one day and be like, I don't like my job. Right. Because if I didn't change those. And that compounding interest just kept building and a negative in a negative way, and I started having more 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 20 of those patients, guess what? I'm not going to like my job. I'm not going to like my career. I'm not going to want to go in and see people. But because I cultivated it and I have a positive bank of positive energy and people that I want to be with and that I want to treat, I love my job.

Yep.

So, yeah, it's still something to think about.

No, I like it. And I think, you know, just wrapping up with kind of where we're going with everything is just again, what's. You're in charge.

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You're in Charge of who you loan it out to, what things you give it to. And then you're also in charge of how you create a savings, build your bank, build that deposit, make deposits into your bank on your energy level. And it's up to you to create healthy boundaries. And maybe, maybe our next podcast is we work into some actual strategies and talk a little bit more directly on boundary setting and understanding boundaries so that you can continue to, to. To work this process of. You can't you create boundaries to protect your. Your space and your energy? Not to control your outer world, but to control your inner world. So, you know, starting with those awareness spaces, getting comfortable being uncomfortable, not being afraid to look at your feelings and emotions and what those are and where they really come from. And I think that's where it gets into the dark for some people. I think some. A lot of clients I work with, and I'm sure you've experienced this, It's. It is hard to go in, even for myself. Like, I, you know, I kind of live in that world, but I, I use this term frequently. You can't tickle yourself, right? Like, Brian, try to tickle yourself. Go ahead, try to tickle yourself. Your ribs, right?

I just realized my armpits are really sweaty. I'm not going to tickle myself there.

So, I mean, you can't really do. Because your body, you're. You're kind of. You protect yourself in that way. You know what's coming. You're very comfortable with where you're at. It really takes something from outside to push you to that opening level. And so it's always good to, like, have those friends and those relationships and those. A counselor, a therapist, or a coach that will help you see those blind spots because everybody has them. So getting okay to really get deeper and deeper. Obviously, a lot of the stuff that we're feeling is just on the surface level. It's fine. That made me angry. Why? Well, because it felt like, like, you know, she insulted me and why did she. Why do I feel like she insulted me and like, why do I care? You know, oh, I want her to like me or I want to have a good working relationship, and I feel like it's threatened and, you know, just be. You can work through those things really quickly. And if you go into, you know, coaching with both of us, we work those deeper and deeper because just the desire of having somebody to like you and the fear of not having that person like you really goes down to deeper and deeper subconscious beliefs, patterns. But anyway, we're sticking to the energy.

Love it. Spaghetti.

Butterflies.

Yeah. So treat everybody. Treat your energy. Starting right now, today. Today. Treat your energy like a precious resource. Yep, it's a precious resource. You have personal agency. If you're cultivating it or neglecting it. Okay. Or resource. It's your research. Don't let somebody take it away. Make sure you're giving to it. Make sure you're building it. Make sure you're nurturing it. Make sure you stop, stop allowing the cracks in your life that is sucking away your precious resource. And if you know people well, actually share this one with as many people as you can because it's going to help lift everybody up around you. That's going to help cultivate your energy. That's going to help cultivate the world's energy. And we need people on doing this moving in the right direction.

We so need a better energy level. And I feel like we're in that movement. Can I wrap us up with Benjamin? Benjamin Franklin quote, Because you're the cool guy, I wanted to throw in a quote. Energy and persistence conquer all things.

Hell yeah. Benjamin Franklin.

And that can be a negative or a positive. So how are you? What are you conquering? Are you being conquered or are you conquering the things? So what is. Your energy and your persistence are going to conquer all the things. So love it. Be persistent, be consistent. Get that compounding interest going and build good interest. Good, good energy.

Love it. Okay, let's just do a little quick recap on all the amazing takeaways from today's session. So takeaway number one, you should think about and treat your energy like a precious resource that you are in charge of tending to. Are you neglecting and draining energy or cultivating and building energy in everything you do? Takeaway number two. Be aware of the feelings you experience when something is is building and cultivating energy. How does it make you feel? Alive? Joyful? Vibrant? Excited? Abundant? How does. Does it make you want to say things like I can't wait. Be aware of the feelings you experience when something is draining your energy. How does that make you feel? Irritable? Upset? Stressed? Distant? Disengage, Resistance? Does it make you want to say things like I don't want to take away? Number 3?

3.

Be aware of small negative drains in positive energy building experiences. The most powerful force in the universe is compound interest. Negative and positive energy forces, even though very small, will compound and become a driving force and direction in your life. Takeaway number four. Take the time to dig deep and get curious about the origin of emotion and feedback. Whether it's positive or negative, it's providing and giving you something. Takeaway number five Remember that with big achievements and wins, it's natural to experience a low. This is a great time to rest and reflect on the win and let your body reset. Recharge on a chemical, emotional and physical level. Takeaway number six Use the Energy Gauge to evaluate all activities, people, jobs, thoughts and behaviors to determine if they are draining or building energy and how impactful this energy is. Well Amy, thank you as always and everybody listening, thank you so much for listening and please for we got to make a little push on this because we appreciate and love what we do. If you appreciate and love it as well, please give us a rating on Apple Podcast or Spotify and it seems like we have more listeners on Apple. So all you Apple people please please please give us a rating. It really helps us out and share this with as many people as you can and we appreciate you so much.

Yep. And I appreciate you Brian. Thanks. I appreciate you back bringing some good energy today.

Yeah, you're. You're plus 5A.

You are too Brian. I appreciate it. All right, have a wonderful day. Bye guys.

Bye bye. Thanks.

Hey friends, thank you for tuning in to the All Things Good for your podcast. Please note any information, experiences, ideas or opinions discussed today are for educational and thought provoking purposes only and not intended as medical advice. If anything piqued your curiosity, please consult with your doctor or personal medical professional. And if you're enjoying all things good for your pot, hop on over and leave us a five star review so we can continue delving in and providing great content. Thanks again and we hope you are inspired to stay informed and responsible along your health and wellness journey.

Did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? That's right. In fact, most of the things around you that you depend on every day are made with recycled materials. From essential infrastructure to important innovations, America's recycling companies provide the materials that power our infrastructure and strengthen our economy. Want to know more? Learn how America's essential infrastructure and important innovations are made with recycled materials@recycled materials.org that's recycled materials.

Looking to get out there and feel the in your hair Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away and with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease and Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence Chevrolet together let's drive.