Ep.39 - Boundaries

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One way to build boundaries is to understand that they are there to protect your life's values and your vision for your life.

Hello friends. You are listening to the All Things Good for you podcast. I'm your host, Brian Bowen, founder of.

Integrative Health, Inc. And I'm Amy Christiansen, your co host and creator of Amy Christensen Health and Wellness Coaching.

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Hey Brian. Good evening. We're in. We're here for the evening.

I know. 7:28 on the dot. I can't believe it. What a long snow day at work. Oh, I love such a crazy day. Such a crazy day.

I love snow days. They're the best.

I. It was, it was fun. It was very, it was a very entertaining day. It was like a wonky Friday vibe that happens to be on a Tuesday, which is just where everybody's goofy and things are all over the place and it was fun and.

Yeah.

And kind of, kind of, kind of, kind of interesting.

Hey, but could I, could I even shock you more? It's Wednesday.

Is it really? It is Wednesday. I feel like, so between the holidays, like throwing things off and then on Monday, it was Martin Luther King Day.

I know.

Playing hooky. And I took my middle daughter and her friend skiing, which I never take Martin Luther King Day off. Not that I don't appreciate the King, but it's just, it's a Monday and so I usually roll into it. And so because of that, yeah, I'm totally discombobulated.

Yep, it is, it's confusing when they throw those, those Monday vacations in there.

I really need to establish some boundaries of some boundaries. I'm dropping some key, key things here, listeners, some boundaries around my time and organizing that and where I'm at. And so I think we might Be talking about boundaries today just in case.

We aren't, because, okay, last week we talked about protecting and cultivating energy, right? And part of that was like, okay, you're going to pick what you give your to, you're going to pick ways to build your energy. But that process of like picking what you're going to give your energy to and what you're going to be open to requires you to have boundaries. And so that kind of led into today's conversation about, wow, what are boundaries? How do you set them? Let's talk more about boundaries. So that's where we are today. We're talking about.

It's a great, great time to do that because of everything you just said, of course. But we're, we're just kicking off with the new year theme too. And it's a great time right now to reevaluate your boundaries. And I don't mean just at a superficial level. I mean at a deep, deep level to really look at are your boundaries in line with your values and your beliefs. And you know, I think that, you know, we, we learn things from an early age even we don't need to go back to childhood here, but we do. And so you kind of get like, you get, kind of get an automation, automation mode and you stop sometimes and if you're like, wait, why, why am I drawing such hard line there? Like, that doesn't, doesn't feel good to me or doesn't whatever. And it's like, where does that come from? So, you know, instead let's just dig under that surface a little bit and really look at, you know, where we are in our friend, not just our personal relationships, but with our belief systems in our own mind and, and how that reflects into the things and our actions that we do a daily basis. So it's, it's amazing. There's a lot to dig in here.

Yeah, it's a, yeah, it's a big, long, deep well. And I think we will do our best to, to get in there. But I, you said you don't want to go into our childhood, but I do think we kind of have to preface it with most of our boundary skills. One, our ability to set boundaries really started in our childhood, but also what we identify as important enough to set a boundary around also started in our childhood. So just like you said, like looking at our mindset and our belief systems and kind of re evaluating those things or looking at what, what has really carried over for us in present day because we can really get hung up on the past defining what's important today and tomorrow. And while it has an effect, it doesn't necessarily have to dictate who we are today or who we are tomorrow. So part of setting some really healthy boundaries is getting really clear on who you are today and who you want to be in the years to come. Right?

Yeah, I 100 agree with that.

I'm so glad.

I agree with that. I'm just, I'm contemplating like the, you know, going back to the childhood thing because there's, there's areas where again, we have to take personal agency in our life of where we are now. But then, you know, you still have to like, think back and reflect and spend some time with even those things in your upbringing because the, the experiences that shape those boundaries, whether it's a parent that had, didn't have as much boundaries themselves or you didn't respect their boundaries, or they had too many and, or if you, you know, there's so many different aspects of life back, you know, when you're a kid. And I was just thinking about when you said that. I actually don't. I have, I think I have strong boundaries in some areas, but very weak boundaries in other areas. And I'm thinking back about like some of that. How does that correspond to some of my, my past? And I can see a clear connection. Even though I thought I've, I've kind of worked and remolded and kind of reshaped some of those things because you can, I really do believe you can reshape all those things because of course your beliefs and your values and you know, all that stuff changes as well and so should your boundaries. But, but I can still see some clear threads kind of tugging at me and I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah, I, I think I need to think, I need to think about that a little bit more.

I like that. I like the analogy of a thread. Let's pull that. Let's pull that thread. Where's it going to go? What's going to unravel here? Yeah, I mean, we have to look at. And I think that's why like New Year's resolutions and you know, all of that is, is helpful because in reality it takes time to kind of restructure and have self awareness and have experiences and maybe that turns out to be around a year, maybe it turns out to be four weeks. Who knows? Like, I know with a lot of my coaching clients, they're like, I want to do this, this and this. And I'm like, well, you're probably not Going to achieve that in four weeks, three or four weeks. Like we're going to shoot for 90 days. That's there's some science behind 66 to, you know, 90 days being a, you know, habit changing and things settling in. So I don't know if there's something there, but we have to reflect on a regular basis. Where are we? What's important? Where are we going? Like, maybe I really thought this one thing was super important to me and I created all these boundaries so that I could achieve this thing. And then when I got there, I was kind of like, it's really okay. That's really not the thing. Like, it's not that important. It's not not that great. And maybe now my boundaries are going to be shifting, but you have to be self reflective. But anyway, I were kind of diving into a different realm. But so looking at our childhood, looking at where those belief systems may have come from, looking at these habits we may have built from our parents teaching us certain ways and just the rhythm of life that they had that we just naturally picked up still have to stop and look at it. Like, let's assess who we want to be, where we want to go, what's important to us, what does that look like to protect that energy? And then how do we need to set up boundaries? So like, okay, first of all, can we go back and just say, like the definition of a. Boundaries. Boundaries are the limits we set around who and what we allow to get close or what we give our attention, focus and energy to.

Okay, so great definition.

Looking around, like, look at where you are today and ask yourself, like, who are you allowing into your day? Who do you allow to take up your time? Whether it's actual time on a phone call or face to face, or what you're achieving and doing errands or work, or just your mind? Like, who's running in your background all the time? Who are you loaning your space in your life to right now? And is that serving. Oh, I said the thing. I said the thing. Okay, that's for another. That's it for another podcast, period.

We talked about that.

I can't believe I actually said that. Oh, okay. That's another podcast coming up, folks. Stay tuned. Stay tuned for that. So, yeah, what, what is the energy and the time and the space? What is it giving you? Is it. Is it helping you reach your goals? Is it helping honor the space that you want to have and the design you have for your life? Is it moving you forward? Is it holding you back or muddling the waters.

And that's like. So I do like that aspect of who do we want to be and where are we going? And all the things that you're saying right now just is about growth and we're moving forward. And I like all of that energy. And therefore the boundaries have to. To change and evolve and, and shift and move with that too. And so as all of those things are happening, you know, we have to. You know, we talked in many podcasts ago about neuroplasticity. And so we know that the brain has these, this ability to adapt and change and create new neural connections and, and all that stuff in so many aspects.

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That has to happen with our boundaries too. But I think the growth aspect is beautiful because if our boundaries aren't changing and if we're not evolving them right, and, and, and, and, and can't reshape them, then that also alludes to the fact that we're not growing as well. Right. So if I stay static and everything's just kind of the same and the world's changing and moving around and I'm just kind of hanging back here and I drew my line in the sand, you know, in so many different aspects and we don't even need to get into all of them. But, you know, you know, whether it's personal beliefs and spiritual beliefs or whatever, if I just draw the line in the sand and here, then. And I'm not flexible as I'm growing, then that's not good. That just doesn't work. And so I just said, damn it. Damn it. I'm working so hard not to say.

Is that a personal boundary? Yes. Different than.

Ugh, it is a boundary for myself.

It is. That is a personal boundary. So I totally lost.

You just said it. I got you.

Oh, I did. So Brian and I are working on our ums, but sometimes they're applicable. So you had said something that was pertinent. I wanted to focus on it. And now it's Gone.

So I distracted you.

It's okay.

Across your mental boundary.

We got lost in that, but it's okay. So I think we do have to kind of touch on the different areas of boundaries. Like, I think some people are not clear on what boundaries are. Oh, I know what I was going to say. I think of boundaries. Like that's different than it, by the way.

It's a different filler. It's a different filler word.

It's. It's kind of a wait and listen to the exciting thing I'm going to say. So I think of boundaries like a membrane, like a cell membrane. And you know, did you study kind of. Right. Did you study anatomy and biology? Right. You know, remember how you had some things that needed certain carriers to like an enzyme or something to bring it into the cell, open up the channel so it could come in and other things would come out and it'd be like, nope, you can't come in. And then some things just had like fluid movement. It had like preapproval. You're in, you're in, you're in. Just go. So that's kind of how I think about the actual makeup of a boundary. It's not a hard line.

Great metaphor.

Thank you. Love science. I think that we have to remember that it's not a hard line. And a lot of people think of building boundaries, I think, out of protection and fear and reaction. And they think of building like this giant castle wall and keeping everything out. And it's really not about that. It's understanding. Like some things can come in at certain times and some things need certain situations. And depending on the health of the cell, maybe there were sometimes some things that used to be able to come in, couldn't come in, or maybe something that didn't come in, you need more of. And so then it got more extra time in. And it takes constant self awareness to. To determine whether where your boundaries are and what things are allowed in and out of it. So it's a permeable space. I've heard it, I've heard it referred to as a moat in the drawbridge. You know, that's one of the things like you got to think about, like you have a moat and you allow the drawbridge to be up or down. I still feel like that's more castle, like, you know, like protective and controlling. And then we'll talk about another one later. But that's, that's for number of reference because I know you have something exciting to add.

Well, I was just thinking when you were Talking about that and not to get all five element acupuncture.

We'll do it. I love it when you do that.

And five element acupuncture, there's called the fire element. And so in the fire element, you have four officials, you have heart, pericardium, small intestine, San Joao. Did we actually reference this in another podcast?

Maybe we did a lot, but I don't think you went to the four elements of it, because that's fascinating. The heart, pericardium.

Pericardium, small intestine, San Jiao.

What's the San Jiao?

So San Jiao is called the triple heater. So anything above the diaphragm up is the upper jiao. So, like, lungs and heart are in the upper jiao. Think about diaphragm to belly button, middle jiao. So all the organ systems there, spleen, whatever, all that stuff. And then lower jiao, belly button and pubic bone. And so that's the jowl. So it's called the triple heater. So it's in charge of, like, harmonizing and sending energy and circulating and thermal control and all that stuff throughout each. So it's a great harmonizer, integrator, if you will. But in the fire element component, as it relates to boundaries, as boundaries relates to connection, right? Human connection, stuff, relationships and so forth, the. The heart is the emperor. And in classic, you know, with the emperor, back in the past, thousands of years ago, there was only one individual allowed to be in communication with the emperor because of fear of poisoning or assassination attempts and so forth. And so in Western medicine, the pericardium surrounds the heart. It's a heart protector, right? So it's a heart protector. And so. So think about, you are the emperor, right? And then you have this. You are them, you're the empress, and you have this. You have this. This heart protector around you, the pericardium. And then the next layer of that would be the small intestine, which would be further out, and then the next one would be San Jose. So think about the metaphor of you have your house and you're the emperor inside the house. And the pericardium is the front door, and then the small intestine is the white picket fence. And then outside of that white picket fence, on your two acres of land, there's a barbed wire fence, and that's the San Joao. And so it's the ability, it's a. And again, tying this into boundaries, okay? So people like that have really weak boundaries as it is with. As it as it relates to relationships can sometimes be wide open and that person can walk all the way through that acreage as total stranger. Walk all the way through that acreage, through the white picket fence, right through the front door and bada bing, bada boom. You have all kinds of issues.

Mia chest a little bit.

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Yeah, like protecting the king, the queen, the pawns and the like, all the protection mechanisms that happen and just guarding and how if you leave that open, somebody can just go right in and take the key.

Yeah. 100. So, you know, in this sense, in this aspect of this metaphor, you know, there has to be this kind of filter and, and understanding and checkpoints. And so, you know, the small, the, the San Joao is the first one. It's like, okay, is the emperor in there? And they're like, don't let him pass that barbed wire fence. Right? Or is it. Do they make it through there? And are they getting all the way up to the white picket fence before they get in? Are they going right up to the front door? And so we have to have the ability, not just in our relationships, but in all of our lives to be able to have this constant running filter and, and systems to be able to discern where we are at in relationship to our boundary and how close we are going to let them get. Are we going to let them cross right over? Are we going to be really firm and hold them back so we kind of become more cold and, and kind of firm and aggressive in that way. And so how, you know, how are we aware of those? And I think to understand how we are with those boundaries, we actually have to understand what that boundary is even about. And I think we establish boundaries and we don't even know what they're about sometimes. And I kind of, I'm going away from the metaphor here, but the metaphor in that relationship is, you know, you can draw them too firm and not let people in or close or, and be too kind of locked down and rigid, or you could be too timid and, and, and just too open to, to those things, and that can cause problems too. But like, where are we at with any boundary that we have? Why do we have that boundary established? And then do we have the ability to understand where somebody's at in relationship to that boundary? And is that boundary true to us or is that a false boundary that we've made up through our. For upbringing, from our environment, being tied to our past?

Yeah, yeah. And there, that's, that's a huge thing like understanding how to not let your past necessarily define you. While it's informative, it's not necessarily predictive. And that's really a difficult place for people to let go of. Yeah, I love all this. I have a lot of inappropriate comments that I held back through all of that because I don't know why my childish, my childish brain was coming out through a lot of that. But to keep it, to keep it together, keep it together.

You don't have to because there's a majority of people that are listening that actually really, really know you and that really, really know me. And I gotta tell you people, if you don't know me and if you don't know her, our boundaries are a little thin sometimes.

I think we're always developing boundaries and everybody's is a little different. But I get what you're saying, like, okay, there's, there's appropriate levels of boundaries for certain type of situation, and we have to reflect, and I think we've made that very clear. You have to get, you have to reflect on why you have a boundary. Where is it originally coming from? Is it something from your past that's not necessarily true to today? And maybe we need to redefine those. So what I would, this is where I would think from here is like, okay, what are some things like you can set up in your life or you can sit back and look at and say, okay, these are signs that you might need to set some tighter boundaries. And so what, what's happening in your life that says, man, maybe I'm, I'm out of, out of a boundary right here. What does that look like in real life? You know, like if you're feeling overwhelmed and exhausted, you're constantly giving of yourself, even if it's in a good way, like you're but it could be work, it could be family, could be friends. Give it your own. Your own endeavor could be like exercise, all of it. Like, if you're exhausted and you're just feeling overwhelmed, that is a sign that you have let a boundary be too permeable to something.

You know, I'm gonna throw this out there and this could be reaching a little bit, but I just feel like I want to dive into this a little bit.

Dive in. This a deep end.

This is deep. This is the deep end. We could all drown. I might drown in my own words right here. Just trying to.

I was a lifeguard, actually. I won't let you drown a lot too. I'll.

I'll say so when you say what are some things that could. That could make us reflect on that or know where we're. Where we're not in line with that. Is autonomy.

Yeah.

The word autonomy just keeps popping my head. So the. The ability for self governance and the ability to make your own decisions and set your own goals and have control and action and, you know, and all of that stuff. I feel like if you feel like you have or do not have.

Your.

Your control of your own actions, control of your own decisions, control of your goals, control of your own kind of governance and. And all the other stuff that comes along with. Along with the autonomy aspect, I feel like that's a red flag. I feel like.

Yeah.

You know, and of course we can't have that in every aspect of our life 100% of the time, but I feel like if you. They just go hand in hand. And so if you don't have one, you don't have the other. I feel like those go hand in hand. Am I wrong?

No, I think you're right. I think there's. I think it's part of the finger of the like. If you're talking about hand in hand, I think there's five fingers there because autonomy is part of it. Right. Self efficacy and. And a history of proving to yourself. And I think a way of knowing if you. Of self autonomy is like self trust and being able to say no, being able to recognize if you're a people pleaser.

So, yeah, I think you came up with a new framework. I need to know all the fingers for the framework. I think this is a new framework. So you have five fingers. So you're saying autonomy.

As long as it's not a five finger death punch. Wow. Sometimes you need that song. Sometimes you need them. I like to work out sometimes to challenging music, but I know is That.

A song you're referencing?

Right Finger Death Punches? A band?

Really? Okay. I never heard of them.

Okay.

All right. So. So, all right, your framework now has a name. The Five Finger Death Punch.

Oh, no. Five Finger High. Five high. I'm way less intense nowadays than that.

All right, so finger finger number one. Could be the thumb, could be the index finger. We haven't labeled fingers yet for your framework, but autonomy, boundaries. So autonomy is one finger, boundaries is the other. What's the other three fingers?

Well, do you think autonomy and self efficacy are the same thing, though? Do you get. You get autonomy. You get autonomy through self efficacy because self efficacy is like the proof to yourself that you have the ability to figure it out, to be self reliable. When you have that, you get autonomy. So I think number one is self efficacy.

All right, I like that. Yeah. There. I mean, those are linked together. I feel like again, you can't, you know, because on one hand you can't have autonomy plays a role in setting boundaries. So it allows you the responsibility and actions to make choices and. Right. And then. And then the reverse. So, and so, so autonomy to boundaries. Boundaries, they're reinforcing to each other. Right. Cut. They're so. They. They drive their driving force. I'm trying to throw me.

You're throwing me on the spot here. We're going to come up with the five fingers as we go, but I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna cuddle. I'm gonna cuddle us back in. Cuddle us back in. Talking about. So I want to go into, like, helping people understand, like, talk about how we know what are some, like, actual signs that we're not having good boundaries. Right. So, like people who have difficulty saying no is a big one. Right? So people. If you can't say no if you are in over. People pleaser. Right. If you are afraid. And I think this goes into autonomy and self efficacy. If you can't say no to somebody because you're afraid of hurting them, losing them, standing up for yourself, that. That is a sure sign that you have some probably weakness and boundaries.

Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna put a spin on this though. I'm gonna put a spin. This is important. I'm not, I'm not going to the deep. And I'm sticking right with what you're saying. I'm not going to distract us.

Okay.

So. So. So they're saying no when it's crossing maybe your own beliefs or, or values. But there's also the ability to not say no when you really, like, want to authentically do something for somebody, so. So I am guilty of that. As far as my boundaries, I'm a yes guy because I actually do want to help you. You could ask me to do anything for you right now, and I authentically would want to help you. Where. But where the boundary is with that, that I need to draw is because of the relationship, going back to time, energy and all that stuff. Do I have the energy? Do I have the time? Do I have all these other things? What is it going to take away from. For me to do this for you? Who is it going to take away from? Like, from my family or from. You know what I mean?

Yeah. But I think that that's a perfect example of people because you and I are both technically people pleasers. We're very service oriented. We're very giving oriented. We want to take care of people, we want to help people. We honestly just want to like. I mean, I've helped. I've helped friends build a patio instead of driving home across country because I just truly wanted to help them rearrange my vacation time and go back and help them build a patio because I loved them and I just wanted to be there with them. But I. That. That was fun, and that was me saying yes because. Right, but. So sometimes we can say yes, and sometimes we can say no. But I think sometimes the people who like us are very much oriented to help and want to do those good things. They get lost in that space of being able to say no. I think you and I have learned that there are just other things in life that have taken. Have shown us by example that, well, gosh, we just. We have to take care of these other responsibilities. And if I say yes to everybody I want to help, I can't take care of these other things that I know are really implicit to my life working out the way they need to be.

I'm sorry. Just crack it up. Sorry. I just had this vision. I remember this guy that I was not really super close friends with, but he said no to everything. And he. And the way he said no to everything was just. Was like, you're saying yes to everything right now. By the way. You make us sound awesome. By the way. Every podcast, we're like, we do this. We are the nice guys. We say, but this guy was always like, no. Just no.

No. Just.

Hey, can you kind of help me move this couch? No, no.

Can you.

Can you come help me help my friend, you know, with this problem? No, it's just very. No problem.

Did you envy him a little bit?

No, it felt, it felt like harsh to me. Even though he said it in a nice calm voice, it felt like so offensive to my nature of wanting to say yes. Like I didn't know what to think. It was traumatizing.

Oh, that's, that's good. Well, okay, so that's probably, that's some of the things like, okay, people who say yes to everything, but you could be on the other side and say no to everything. And I think that there might be some boundary issues there you can have. Like again, it goes back into that. Too rigid. Sometimes we have to say yes, it's okay. But if you also. Okay. So we talked about feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Difficulty saying no, people pleasing. If you do things for people and then you feel resentful. Right. If you're, if you show up, this is, this happens a lot. If you show up for something, whether you're doing a favor or you're energetically being involved or you're doing something with work and it is not really within your boundary, but you're putting yourself out there and you're resentful because you feel like you're being used or not respected or not being valued. That means you crossed your own boundary. You did not keep a boundary for yourself. That's nobody else's responsibility, by the way. That's yours. That's another conversation. Well, that's a little later conversation.

Well, and there's, there's two, there's, there's layers to this too because all of these things are kind of external as well with involving somebody else. But we know we can't forget that the, the aspect of crossing our own boundaries that we set up internally so we have the internal and external boundaries. And I feel for 2023, this is where I struggle. Like sometimes it's my own boundaries, you know, of like your goals or whatever you set for yourself or I'm not going to do this or I'm going to do this. And then all of a sudden you're like, well, I can do this. Just because I did do this today, so I can do this now. You know that, that little voice, it's like, I had a hard day. It was, you know, it was really snowy and scary outside and I was really stressed out. So now I can go home and have those gluten free chocolate muffins. Sorry I'm throwing you under the bus.

What are you saying?

I don't say anything.

Who does that?

But, but I think those internal boundaries and so guilt, frustration, right Irritability with your own self, even God, I get irritable with myself. You ever get irritable with yourself?

Because you're. 90% of the time I'm irritated. Irritated at myself more than anybody else. Right, like, yeah, of course.

And was that because a boundary crossed? Right. So those.

Yeah, because I let my own boundary down of what my own self expectations are sometimes need to be revisited. They need to be revised and updated, people.

Yeah. So therefore, like if you have to shift, because we already said boundaries are pliable, boundaries can shift, boundaries can change. So is your boundary that you're moving, is it, is it again, helping? Is it moving in a growing kind of way that's helping you grow and evolve? Because it's important to, to move in that direction. Forward, moving direction. Because it, I have a quote here. You can't build a better life on a weak foundation of poor boundaries. And so I mean, we could get into that. What does a better life mean? What is this? But in this aspect, we're just talking about growing, moving forward. Right. So we are evolving. We want to evolve. So these boundaries need to evolve. So when you're shifting those internal boundaries to meet those perceived needs, is it helping you grow and evolve or are you shifting it because, well, you know, somebody else in your mind's telling you you need to or you want to.

You know, And I mean that's take away from sometimes we, we do put ourselves into an uncomfortable place or we stretch ourselves or maybe we lend ourselves a little extra to help somebody else, I think that's wonderful. But if it's on a continuous basis, if it's to a place where you are neglecting yourself and so that's another one of our topics. Neglecting your own needs is a trigger or a sign that you don't have good boundaries or you need to tighten up your boundaries. Saying yes to other people, even when it doesn't necessarily benefit you, is still a good thing occasionally. But when it becomes overwhelm, like, okay, there's nothing wrong with me having a rough afternoon, having a gluten free, dairy free chocolate muffin. I'm okay with that.

You know what, Compared to, as of reflecting back to the, the, the gluten free, like, I wish that were the only boundary people like, the amount of things, I'm just going to be real with people here from my childhood, the amount of things I did, even though I knew they were wrong, right? Even though in my heart of heart I knew they were wrong and I had some buddies are like, come on, man, we can do this or, you know, whatever. And I just was like, okay. Like I. The social pressure, like, just thinking back about all the times where I crossed my own internal boundaries at an early age because of social pressures. I mean.

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Put down what you're carrying. I still hold those.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Put down what you're carrying. Put down what you're carrying. That's right, baby.

Yeah.

But, but like, I still, you know, we, we carry this and so if we continue to, to do that, like, again, regret. Right. Like, obviously we got to move on from that. You got to. You got to move on from that. So, so if you've, if you've crossed, I guess another lesson real quick here. If you've crossed a boundary in your past that affected you mentally and emotionally in or any other way, like, obviously there's a time we have to put down what you're carrying. You got to move forward. You got to, you know, you got to get on with that. And then that helps you reshape your boundary. Hopefully you're more firm next time. Hopefully. But we don't want to go over extreme one way or another though, right? We don't want to be like, I'm never going to do her.

Well, that sets it unrealistic boundary for you and everybody else. Right. And then in a way, it neglects your own needs. I needed the chocolate muffin, Brian. I needed it. And denying myself of that was neglecting my own needs.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, and, and the point is, look how well like we, we. We're bringing it into this conversation and it's helping with the evolution of.

Sorry, in all seriousness, like, okay, boundaries change and some of my boundaries, I have healthy eating boundaries. And you know, yes, a chocolate gluten free, dairy free, all healthy chocolate muffin is like the last challenging, like terrible beat yourself up, which I don't do. I don't believe in that. I don't subscribe to it. I don't. I, you know, with coaching, with health and fitness nutrition, I'm totally against beating yourself up for that. We're making a little bit of a joke, but you know, you have to look at that. We are, we're making a little joke about my gluten free muffin because nobody cares. You shouldn't care. I enjoyed every damn bite of that muffin.

The boundary is it shouldn't have been gluten free.

The boundaries, right. The boundary was that I'm going to be healthy and exercise and love my body and, and enjoy the treats that I allow myself now. Like what I was saying, if you're overindulging or if you're letting things go, like taking it back to where we were saying, like if you're being of service to other people or you're helping people and you kind of have to let your, sometimes you push yourself into an uncomfortable place or you step out of your boundary and you have to assess that, but it can't happen so often that you're neglecting your own well being and your own needs, right? If you're feeling like this is another one difficulty in asserting yourself, right? So if, if you are constantly feeling like you're saying yes to everybody because you're afraid to assert yourself and say no and for no reason, frankly, you don't need to justify why you're not available to do something for someone or to do something for something. You can just say no. That doesn't work for me right now, period. You don't actually have to say anything else. Just get really good at saying no, but thank you for thinking of me or no, I'm sorry, let me make another suggestion. Like there are some other ways to do it. If you don't feel comfortable saying that there are some internal boundary works and some self worth and some voice work that needs to be done. If you feel guilty for setting those boundaries, you know, if you're ashamed or you, you just feel like you're a terrible person because you've set a boundary, that's another huge sign of not just needing to set boundaries, but also some deeper inner work of, of healing some from some things from your past. And it's probably not, not authentic and true to who you are.

You care if I pull in an experience right here in another aspect, you.

Know, I'M going to set a boundary and say, yes, I care. No, I don't care. Please do. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.

So. So I feel. I just want to bring this one up because I'm going to. Like, I haven't read a ton of book on boundaries. I'm just speaking from personal experience of being a human being and relationships and stuff. And I've had recent struggles of relationships with boundaries, of communication in those relationships. And I have one. And if you are listening to this big guy, big, big, you know who you are. I can't even use abbreviations, and that sounds weird when I say it like that. But a good friend of mine that has a nickname. Can we just delete all of that? Just delete all that.

Okay.

But. So I have. I have this dear friend that I've known for a long time, and I've been there for him through a lot of struggles and. And things like that. I think that through those struggles, there's been a conditioning that has happened where I'm always typically reaching out to him and checking in. But I actually, before I even call, I already have this, like, sense of. I don't want to say dread of resistance. Like, I want to call because I love him, but then there's a part, like, of resistance of having to, like, I know it's coming kind of, and I don't want to deal with it. And so when I call him immediately, he is, you know, goes. Is excited to tell me about all the things that's been happening in his life. And we talk for 30 minutes to an hour, and not once does he engage with me and say, how are you doing, man? What's happening? And it's just. It's like. And so I. I feel good because I want to be a good listener and I want to be there. But at the same time, I do feel some resentment, and I don't feel that kinship as it. As. As it relates. And so I. I need to have, like, I. So the boundaries. I love him as a friend. I've known him for a long time. I appreciate him. I also appreciate the fact that he's not even aware, potentially, that he's even doing this.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? And so I, I, you know, as we're talking about boundaries, I have a couple other people, you know, that not to this extreme, this would be the most extreme thing, because I literally just talked to him a couple days ago, and it's the same every time. And so it's hard because it's like with relationships moving forward, like this is a hard one in life. Like what level do you want these people to be in your life at? What and, and where do you want to start to really communicate where those boundaries are with them and what you need and what you need, want to give? Because I think we need to start, you know, carving, putting people into our lives that, that have more meaningful attributes and meet our values and our needs more. And, and, and like regulate our communication and relationships in other ways with other people who aren't meeting those needs. And so we have to, but I do think we have to really authentically, genuinely gracefully communicate our boundaries to those people regardless of if we're ending those relationships, transforming those relationships or starting new relationships.

Yes, yes and yes. And I have to say, you know, I, I can identify with that and I don't know what your friend's situation is or anything, but I know from a personal experience that several years ago I was going through a really, really difficult thing. Hard space, a hard place. And I had such a dear, wonderful friend and we had so much fun together and we just had a great time. And I. She told me years later that there was a time frame where I was so self absorbed with my trauma that was happening that I rarely ever engaged with her. And it broke my heart to think that because I adore her. And I know even through that time I was. And we talked and there was some clarity that came through from both of us. Like really, you know, I wish so much that she had told me that at the time that all this was happening because I know I was not approaching it in that way on purpose. You get, we get wrapped up in our place. But I respect what you're saying is like we as individuals, if you're feeling like, you know, we're kind of talking about boundaries and it's almost like we're building these boundaries to protect ourselves or to how we're going to interact with other people. But it's still that other thing. Like one of your boundaries should be before I let a friend hurt me or before I get upset about a situation, I need to clearly express myself and communicate what I need. You know, so those boundaries kind of go both ways. Like you have to have a boundary about where you won't be taken advantage of, but you also have to be willing to have that boundary of I've got to communicate that boundary.

It's interesting though because it's, it would be so much easier if it was like in some sort of violent or neglectful way. You know what I mean? Like, it would be, but. But it's not. It's. It's a very great. Like, it's just a very simple relationship. And it's. There's nothing dramatic about it, but there's that compound, and we, you know, I keep wanting to come back to that word, and we've talked about it over and over, but there's that compounding effect. So it's like, okay, if it's one phone call or two phone calls, it's fine. But even though it's just like this gentle. Like this gentle thing, push. Kind of tapping me, like, if you tap me once or twice in the chest, it's not going to bother me. But if you. If you pin me down and tap me 50 times, you know, I'm gonna get irritated. And I kind of feel like it's that. It's like this slow compounding, like, thing. Like, man, dude, I just want you to be like, hey, bro, what have you been. What have you been up to? Tell me about your family. Tell me about your life.

Right?

Like, and just listen, you know? And again, like, you know, you don't want it to always be about you, but there's going back to relationships and boundaries. There can be. It can be very obvious. But I want us to. To look a little deeper than that. Like, where. Because we're talking about those little signals, those little alarm signals going off to make you question if you've crossed that boundary, to make you think about where your boundary is and did they approach it in a way that. That you didn't, like.

Right.

Or whatever. And so this is just another little signal, like, so it could be a soft landing. It doesn't have to be this dramatic, this dramatic thing, but to really look at it and analyze it and question, like, wait a second. You know what? This has been bothering me a little bit. How can I transform? How can I. How can I, you know, evolve this relationship? To where? To another level?

Yeah. So I would say, like, all of those. Like that moment that you're talking about, it's like you're feeling a little resentful. You're having a little difficulty asserting yourself. You're maybe allowing somebody to take advantage of you a little bit, your emotional time and your generosity, and you're neglecting what your. Your own needs. You need a friend that also wants to know about you. Right. And I also am getting a little hint that maybe you're feeling a little guilty for needing to set that boundary.

Well, I'm, like, literally frozen with it. And it's so ridiculous because again, this isn't like a, A big, like, I mean, I guess it's a big thing because I'm bringing it up, but I wanted to also bring up a real life experience that just happened that doesn't have to be dramatic. It doesn't have to be always a dramatic thing. Right. But those subtle things can, can obviously lead to where I'm at with this relationship right now. And I, it's, it's even uncomfortable that the fact that I'm even publicly talking about it. I was talking to my wife about it and I'm just like, it's really, really bothering me. And, and I'm frozen. Like, I don't want to cut this person off and be like, dude, we've been talking for half an hour. And I appreciate, like, I know you're excited or I know you're this or I know you're that. But it's every time we talk, I feel like we're in a therapy session all of a sudden. But it's every time we talk that this is a reoccurring theme. And I just want to let you know, like, I really want a relationship to go the next level and have another layer of depth. And I feel like it's not. Since it's not reciprocal. And so it's hard to get to that layer. It's hard to get to that next level. So that's my point. And so I, but I'm frozen in that ability to say that. So. But I think it does, now that I just said it and I'm reflecting on it. I think it limits us from going to the next depth of our relationships when they tend to be one sided, when they tend to cross a boundary, when they, you know, all these things, or in my case, I'm frozen to literally tell this person that because I also want to be kind and gracious to where they're at.

Yeah.

So being kind and gracious doesn't always. Is not always the best answer. All the time. Hey guys, it's Brian. I just wanted to take a pause for a moment in the middle of this podcast to thank our sponsors, Ouch, who's helping to make this podcast possible today. Ouch believes everyone should enjoy what life has to offer without enduring pain. They are a pain relief company. Listen guys, I use their products a lot. Their proprietary herbal formula is built on top of a 2000 year old formula, giving it time, tested, effective results. And I'm going to listen to that any day of the week. The combination of that with the foundation having over 22 years of experience hands on treating actual patients for musculoskeletal pain makes Ouch a very special company. Ouch is made with the highest quality certified herbs and CBD from organic hemp oil. Their ingredients are extracted with the utmost integrity to ensure the healing properties remain pure and concentrated to promote natural muscle pain relief and other benefits. I got to tell you, I that so much as a consumer I want to know what I'm getting is exactly what's being sold to me. So they take it a step further. They have a certificate of analysis for all their ingredients before it goes into production and then they also get a certificate of analysis after post production to ensure that you're getting what you're paying for. Listen here guys. Don't settle for a lesser version of your best self. When you can feel your best today, check Ouch out at Ouch shop, that's spelled O U T C H dot. Shop for a full line of their products. They're an amazing company. I use their products on a daily basis. Check them out.

You can be kind and gracious by Just like my example with my friend, I really. Because there was a time frame there where we lost contact and rather than her expressing where she was and the hurt like I didn't get, I didn't see that happening at the time. Like we hung out together, we talked a lot about her relationship and her family and all this stuff. But in her eyes it was an unequal and, and more leaning towards me and I, she never expressed that to me and it hurt my heart a lot when we lost contact. So I wish she would have. So I, you know, that's that space of like, okay, we can have, we can create boundaries but you've got, you've got to be in and you got to act integrity with it. Like you can't expect people to honor your boundaries if you're not willing to have the courage and respect for them to tell them what your boundaries are. We can't expect people to know how to serve us, how to work with us, how to show us our value, how, you know, we have to be able to be in a place where we can tell people what we need. And that I think is vulnerable and a little scary. Like one of the problems with creating boundaries is where people are afraid to say no. They're afraid of hurting people, they're afraid of rejection, they're afraid of losing a friendship, they're afraid of getting fired, they're afraid of just looking like the bad guy.

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But what's at the cost? What's at the other cost of that? You know, what was it that, like Stephen Covey says, it's easy to say no when there is a great yes. So you being able to say no to being continuous available for his stuff and not stand up for your own boundary. And you standing up and making a boundary of, hey, I want to be there for you, but can we, you know, I, I'm feeling unheard and I, you know, I don't feel like you're necessarily interested in my, my life. And you're gonna make a space for that by creating a boundary and then you're gonna say yes to a person and a friend who's willing to show up for you.

Yeah. So one thing that you started off with at the beginning of this podcast is we were tying it into, to the energy concept of what is it costing you? Right. Like, is it, is it depleting your energy or building your energy? And so I think that this question right now, especially in regards to conversation you and I have, were having before this podcast, is what is your boundary costing you? Right? What is it costing you and is it draining your energy or is it building your energy? Right. What is it, what is it doing not just for the external aspect of other people in your lives, but internally for you as well. And so I think that ties into what you were saying, you know.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's an important question.

What are you saying no to and what are you saying yes to? And, and, you know, if you're creating boundaries around that, the boundary is, does this boundary feed my energy? And if I say yes to it, is it, is it building energy? Is it cultivating energy? If I, if I don't hold a boundary. Is it taking energy from me? And for how long are you willing to make those deposit knows those. The paychecks on that. You know you can pay out withdrawals. Yeah, withdrawals, exactly. You can make the withdrawal of energy but you've got to get a deposit back in return. And it's not always tit for tat and all that, you know, it's. But it's, it is a balance. You've got to be able to self reflect and say when is your boundary needing to move a little bit? And you know there are people who. It's fair like you're going to reach people when you set a boundary. You're going to have people that kick back. You're going to have people that will not respect your boundary. Whether they're doing it maliciously or unintentionally or they're just. That's just your boundary goes against their boundary. You're going to bump your boundaries are bouncing up against each other. It's going to.

That part like we got to get back to the five finger frame.

That was definitely not five finger death would have been a lot more angry.

Well, a lot more. I know, I know. We can talk about this for five hours. I do want to come back. Yeah, I gotta plug. I had to look up because I couldn't let go of the autonomy thing and I started to go into this deep place and I just can't let it go. So I did google so much stuff on autonomy and boundaries and actually I found a great little. Autonomy and boundaries are mutually reinforcing and interrelated concepts. Autonomy allows individuals to set and maintain boundaries that align with their own values and beliefs. While boundaries help protect and support autonomy by setting limits on the actions of others. It's not perfect, but I feel like they said it much better than what was happening in my head.

Oh, that's it. Yeah, no, it's perfect. And you know, I, I think that's a great way to kind of start moving us into the like what's our point tonight? What are we talking about? I think that we just. Yeah, we have. You have to take autonomy, right. You have to protect what you're. What's important to you have to be able to set those boundaries to protect what's important to you, protect your space to make those decisions and figure it out. Like you know we. A lot of times, you know, people can be kind of pushing you through something because of what they've experienced or what they think you should be doing. That's not Their. That's not their job. Right? That's. Everybody has their own space. And we as friends have to respect where everybody else is walking in life and respect what they need in their boundaries. Remember that. You know, we're not setting boundaries to control other people. We're setting boundaries to control what we are doing in, in our life.

Can I put a boundary around saying boundaries?

I feel like. Well, I think we get a pass because the podcast is about boundaries.

I don't know why boundaries is such a. It just sticks out. It's just like jumps out at you so much and I'm just hearing boundaries, boundaries. And clearly It's. I think 8, 20 at night, it's better to do podcasts in the morning. I've got the, I got the wiggies a little bit.

I think, I think it's fun. I think we're having a fun night. Okay. So point being, be prepared for a little resistance. Sometimes with when you set boundaries, you're gonna maybe get a little pushback or people who don't understand and you've just gotta, you know, assess and pick how, how that person is, how permeable is your membrane to that person. But don't blame yourself, right? It really, everybody's responsibility for their, like their choice and their reaction to your boundary is their issue. That's up to them. They are responsible for their response.

But question, question your boundaries. Though I do think it's important to like, I think it's good to question and think about the boundaries and why they were set in the first place and what they are. I mean, some of them can be very obvious, but I just think it's good to just to, to reflect a little bit, you know, on that. Because I do know some people that draw these specific things, specific boundaries, and sometimes, you know, again, what are they built on?

Right?

Do they align with your true. And let me say that with your, with your true, not other people's true. With your true beliefs, not other people's true beliefs.

Right?

With your true values, not other people's values. I feel like that's a huge issue right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. And I think it's important to be surrounded with people that you can really lean into, that you trust that, respect your values, respect your boundaries. That kind of have kind of a step back process with it. So being, you know, getting good support to understand your boundaries, to talk about it, that somebody maybe even will help you challenge it. Because sometimes, like you said, you've got to compromise a little bit. Your boundaries can be Flexible, depending on where you are in life and what the reality of. Of your present day is. But you also have to be willing to let go. Like, sometimes you put those boundaries up, you get resistance, and you got to let go of healthy, unhealthy relationships. Sometimes people, you just. You either outgrow each other. You're not, you know, as woo as it sounds, I think we're going to do a podcast on this in the future. But the resonance, the vibration, like your heart rhythm isn't on the scene. I know that's. That's a little woo, but heart rhythm, I would like to say it's not the same rhythm.

I think I want to have. I want to have Trevor hall on here for a podcast for. I just wanted to say, put that. Put down what you're carrying again. I'm like, okay, I've said that enough tonight. So we should have him on here and talk.

Can we just get him to come on and say that? What do you think that'll take?

He would say it like this. Put down what you. Oh, I should not sing. What did I just do? Please edit that out.

It's so not getting edited.

Yeah, no, you're gonna. That's getting out of it. Actually. We don't edit anything. What am I saying? We should start actually editing. Okay. It's been an hour and some change here. I hope everybody gets the. The. I hope everybody finds some value. I feel like it's easy to talk about boundaries on the surface, and it's easy to see very specific, bold boundaries that are out there, especially as it relates to obvious conversations in the world around politics and, you know, things that can get us riled up in the divisiveness. There's so much divisive noise. And again, I think it's just important to question what are your true beliefs? Why do you believe a certain way that you're believing? Why are you setting a boundary or you're setting. Why, you know, does it align with your true value? How do you know it's your true value? I think it's. You got to get. Understand your values. You have to dig a little bit deeper into some of the stuff. And as we're growing and moving forward, do we need to shift those. Have we not shifted them? You know, have we become complacent? Have we become hardened? Have we become calloused? Have we become, you know, are these things. Is your boundaries, you know, in a place that's serving you the best? And I hit and I said it. You said it, Amy. And I just said it again, serving you the best kind of thing. And it's not about that necessarily in that way. So I didn't mean it in the way that we could anticipate or anticipate, but, you know, discuss that. But yeah, so just, just dig, dig a little deeper with all this stuff. This isn't just about the obvious things. This is about really much deeper layers of actions, behaviors, interactions and, and stuff in your life. So.

Well, I think, yeah, you're saying the right things. Like no matter what, if you're feeling resistance or anger or frustration that, that draw of energy, be willing to be honest and real with yourself. You have to look at what if, what are your habits and what are your reactions? Where did you learn these behavior? Sometimes we learn unhealthy behavior patterns and reactions and we, we aren't always looking at things objectively. Lean into support. Ask people that you respect to kind of help you. Maybe look at it from a different perspective. Where's that really coming from? Is it really coming from an honorable, healthy place? Do you need to readjust? Do you need to compromise? Do you need to stand up for what you really want and protect how you are designing your life? Be willing to be brave or at least courageous. And I'm not sure brave and courageous are always the same thing, but I.

Love the word courageous.

Like, just take that, that, that courage to just say, this is what I need right now. And be willing to let something or someone go if it doesn't help support that process. And it doesn't have to be completely cutting ties. It can be just stepping back. Obviously, when it comes to work and professional life, there's a lot riding on that. And you can't just walk away from your job and be irresponsible. But. But sometimes maybe you need to. But.

Are you talking about quitting? Are you leaving my. Are you leaving us?

No.

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What? Can I ask you a quick question, totally off the cuff here.

Sure.

What's your word for the year? Do you have a word for the year?

Oh, I have been working on my word for the year, honestly. I know it's 18 days in, but.

I changed mine, so it's fine.

Fine.

You can. You can do whatever you want. You have till the end of the month to lock it in.

Oh, I do. Oh, I did.

So good. Well, that's my. That's my rule. My new rule I made up when I was skiing this weekend.

Okay, good. Thanks. I like waiting to the last minute. Take every moment I can. I'm really divided right now between abundance and acceptance, and I kind of feel they overlap. So I've. I'm just. I feel like last year was acceptance, honestly, and I didn't pick that as my word, but I feel like last year was acceptance and letting go, and this year is moving more into abundance and. And receiving. So there. I think that's my answer.

Both beautiful. Both beautiful. I like abundance. Okay. I'm gonna hold you to it. Well, you have to. You have till the end of the month to lock it in. So if you need to change your mind, it's okay.

What's your.

Well, my first one was we actually had this fun dinner night out with a bunch of friends, and curiosity was the one that I was. I was feeling at that moment, but I've since changed it.

Okay.

To enthusiastic.

Well, you are both of those all the time.

Well, I don't know. I feel like curiosity, certainly, but I want to be enthusiastic about all the little yummy things that sometimes I'm not enthusiastic about that I should be more enthusiastic about. So I've just been asking my question, going into different situations, like, okay, what, What, What. What's enthusiastic about this situation? Why should I be enthusiastic? You know, and so just like that one moment of questions like, oh, y. Of this. Right. And sometimes you just forget. Yeah, right. You forget, like, even, you know, going to work on a snow day. Like, why am I like. Like, because I get to do this, this and this and this and this. And it's just like, this is a little conversation in my head. So anyway, I digress for a minute, but.

No, but I like that. Did you ever see the movie? Okay, so we're going totally off topic, folks. If you're done listening to the boundaries, you can. You can stop listening now, but had you ever see that movie Shock a Lot?

Oh, yeah. That's like. I mean, that's classic, right?

Yes, yes. Okay. You know the scene where it's like the slow motion at the dinner scene where they're all together at the table and they're, like, pouring all the chocolate stuff and they're handing it. It's all, like, fuzzy and soft and everybody looks beautiful and happy. When you say enthusiastic and you want to just enjoy all the yummy things, that's exactly the image that came to my head was that moment.

All right, that's a good image for you. My image does not have Johnny Depp in it, but whatever.

Darn it.

I mean, I'm not saying he doesn't make me enthusiastic. I got. Rewind, rewind, rewind.

Okay. I mean, he has his clothes on. What are you talking. It's just there's a lot of people at the table.

Oh, I know. It's a lot. Well, was that Juliana? Julian? Yes. What's her name?

I can't.

Julian. Yeah, that. Okay.

She's so beautiful. But it was that whole thing of just, like, enjoying life and taking advantage of just really savoring the people and the experiences and the moment and the fun of things and just enjoying where you are at that, at every day and what's just right in front of you.

All right, so next year, instead of just coming up with a word for the year, I like a word. And then what's the image that invokes that word?

Okay, like, you just.

You. You set the bar high. You just. You just moved us to another level. So my new boundary. My new boundary with this is, you know, we have to have an image. A word and an image.

Okay, I like it. Well, I'm very. I'm visual, so I like to visualize things. All right, so let's talk really fastly because we are coming up at the end of our allotted. Our boundary time. Let's talk about our wrap up points, shall we? What do we want to take away? What do we want to take away? So in order to cultivate and reserve and build energy, you've got to build boundaries. One way to build boundaries is to understand that they are there to protect your. Your life's values and your vision for your life. Right? They are not there to manipulate or control other people. They're there to help you fulfill what you need. That those boundaries are permeable and need to be reassessed and maybe adjusted occasionally. Right? And then we also have to take a regular step back and, and look at, you know, is this applicable for today? What needs to. What can I compromise on? What do I need to move around? And then look at the signs of your life, of what's your life telling you? What are the signs of saying maybe you're. You need to tighten up boundaries or shift those boundaries. Things like feeling overwhelmed or having difficulty saying no pleasing people, feeling resentment, feeling like you've let people take advantage of you, neglecting own need and self care difficulties, just saying no to people. Those are all signs that you know. And just feeling unhappy and frustrated with your life. Like those are all signs that maybe you've let some boundaries go. What other. Anything else in there that you want to.

No, the only one. I'm hang, I'm gonna hang on to it all night long. Autonomy and boundaries are mutually reinforcing it interrelated concepts. It's critical. Like, like if you want true autonomy, you have to have reinforcing boundaries that, that meet your values and your beliefs, who you want to become, who you want to be and where you're going.

Yep. And now I'll wrap it up with. Boundaries are a way of taking responsibility for our own happiness and joy.

Boom.

Boom.

And thank you for listening, people, and thank you for listening.

Now everybody go watch Johnny Depp and Chocolate and have a.

All right, Amy, thanks for taking the time this evening to do this and thank you for listening to everybody. Please, as always, if you enjoyed this podcast, or at least a little bit enjoyed it, share it with some people that you feel like need boundaries. Please pass it on. Everybody knows somebody who needs to listen to this podcast, for God's sakes. Yeah, please share it, pass it on to friends and family and please give us a review on Apple or Spot. Are we on iheart?

We're on, I think every single podcast out there. So whatever, whatever way you're listening to us, we would love, love, love and appreciate to hear back from you and love some support. And the more you show us support and give us feedback, the more we can make this show for you and everybody, not just me and Brian talking and giggling about silly things. Things.

We don't need your money, we just need your kind words.

That's right. That's right. Come on. All right, all right.

Thank you everybody.

Thank you, Andy. Thanks, Brian. Bye, bye, bye. Hey friends, thank you for tuning in to the All Things good for you podcast. Please note, any information, experiences, ideas or opinions discussed today are for educational and thought provoking purposes only and not intended as medical advice. If anything piqued your curiosity, please consult with your doctor or personal medical professional. And if you're enjoying all things good for your podcast, hop on over and leave us a five star review so we can continue delving in and providing great content. Thanks again and we hope you are inspired to stay informed and responsible along your health and wellness journey.

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