EP. 47 Limiting Beliefs

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Neuroscience shows that that 63 day mark is about when you've created a new habit but also the firing of the brain and the thinking process that happens becomes more solidified with the new process and the new thought so you can change your limiting beliefs hey friends, thank you for listening to the All Things Good for your podcast. Join us as we explore ancient traditions, modern tools and practices in the world of health, wellness and personal development. I'm Amy Christensen, your host and your curated mind coach.

And I'm your co host Brian Bowen, founder of Integrative Health Inc. And Better Human Company High Performance Coaching. Are you ready to take control of your life and start feeling enthusiastic, empowered and limitless each and every day for a life well lived, let your curiosity flow with all things good for you.

Hello friends, it is just Amy tonight. The wonderful Brian is off on an adventure. If you listened to the Adventure podcast a few episodes back, you know that he he was off to Hawaii. A well deserved vacation. I hope he is drinking something fabulous and setting himself on a beach. And during the adventure podcast a little topic came up that I thought I would just take a quick little short podcast and a solo podcast and address the limiting beliefs. Comments and with coaching. Brian and I do both do coaching. We work with limiting beliefs on a daily basis with our clients. But I think it's challenging because limiting beliefs, it sounds so easy to just say see where your limiting beliefs are and and change them. It's really difficult to see what you don't see. It's very difficult to see our blind spots and understand our belief systems that we've developed from a standpoint of either somebody just taught us this way, we saw it this way we. It was a thought that was put into our head and then we thought it enough that it became a belief we or it became a mechanism. You know, you learned something at a younger age that became really more of a mechanism of protection or just something that you thought was a way of life. I know we've mentioned before the old timey thing of money doesn't grow on trees or I'm not made of money and work is hard. To be successful you have to put in a lot of hours and time. And there's a number of stereotypical limiting beliefs out there. But like I said, it's not easy to see see them when it's in your own daily life. So I thought maybe we would jump in and talk about what that looks like for people. When you have a limiting belief. How does that really show up? What does that look like in your daily life? It can be in various areas too. So you don't have to have. You've heard us talk about a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. There are people who have a general that is the way they see everything and they approach everything with either a fixed or a growth mindset. But most of us, most people operate in realms of the fixed mindset and a growth mindset. And it's depending on different areas of our life and situations. So somebody might be very growth oriented about work. Maybe they've had very positive support in work. They've got a lot of self efficacy in work and they believe that they can just the sky's the limit and you can do whatever you set your mind to. Whereas maybe in relationships they had some poor examples. Maybe they got their heart broken or wounded a little bit at an early age and so they developed a certain understanding. Movies, music and Hollywood are doing do a really good job at disrupting reality and creating limited thinking about relationships. You could have areas where you might have more of a growth mindset and more of a fixed mindset and something else and the way that can show up a way to get a clue to do I need to take a step back and refresh some thinking and get some new perspective in an area. So you might look at ways in your life that well, if you tend to procrastinate about certain things, if you tend to complain about a situation, a person, especially if you put yourself in a victim mindset. Okay, so if you are always somebody is perpetrating or a situation is always perpetrating itself on you where you are a victim and you feel out of control or like you don't have any power, that could be a huge sign of a limiting belief system that needs to be addressed. Other ways of signs could be something to the effect of, well, blaming. That kind of goes along with the criticism, complaining and victimization. But the blaming of something on somebody else, that's often a sign that you're working out of a limited mindset in that area. Some other ways I'm trying to walk through what we've already just chatted about here. Oh, obviously negative self talk. So thinking that you are a failure at something, or saying, I'm just not good at that, or I can't make that happen, I've never been able to do it. Those types of all or nothing conversations or statements are usually big signs that you have a limiting belief. Because here's the thing, you may not be good at something, but that's usually a choice of focus and practice. You may not be as good or quote unquote, talented, naturally talented at something as somebody else, but that doesn't mean that you don't have the innate ability to improve and get good at something. It's almost always a limiting belief. And that is okay that you choose not to be good at something. I used to say all the time, I'm just not good at math. I'm not good at math because I moved a lot during some core growth times, learning times as a child and as a young teen. And it ended up I had some big spaces that were missed that never quite got put together. But I am an intelligent person. I've learned math. I went through college, I did physics. And the fact is that I don't actually enjoy math. I enjoy aspects of math, math. But I don't want to apply myself to the point of being really efficient and good. And that is okay. And you can just say, this is a choice that I'm making and. But it's the difference between deflating my abilities by saying I'm not good at something, where rather than, yeah, I missed some core stuff and I never really wanted to make it up. And now it's really not that big of an effect on my life. So I'm choosing not to do that. So that takes back my ability to have empowerment around it. It also takes away me beating myself up and think that I am less or that I have failed at something. Oh, another big one is jealousy. So if you are seeing people succeed, or whether they have the house or the job or the body or the relationship, the travel, life, whatever, if you are jealous and envious of those people and it comes from a place of true, like a bitter jealousy, you're not happy for them, you're not celebrating them, you're. You want them to fail at it a little bit, that is coming from a place of limited belief because your belief system is they have something that you can't have. So go back and look at those moments where you might feel a ping of envy and jealousy and go deeper into why you might feel that way and maybe what you might need to try and switch your perspective and your Belief about yourself and about a scenario or an achievability level. Is that a word? Achievability? You know what you can achieve out there, what's that level? And ask yourself what you are putting on yourself as a limitation. The other limitations that show up in life are happiness. Just the level of this is the way I've always been. This is how I handle things. I'm just an angry person. The way you react to the world being an always, and this is just the way it is. That is another sign of a limiting belief. That's a choice. So all of our beliefs are something we were taught, we experienced at one point and took as a global truth. How many times have you gone out to do something that you've never done before that was a little scary or a little new, and you weren't sure if you could do it, but you tried and then you did it and you had a new perspective about it. You had thought that maybe I can't do this, or maybe you thought, there's no way I can do this. And family member or friends or somebody talked you into doing it. And then you tried it and you did it and you succeeded. And you're like, wow, okay, I can actually do this. You had a hard belief before then. Now you have a totally different belief. If you look at life and you ask yourself, how does this work for a global realistic truth? And the thing that you're struggling with, the thing that you're afraid of or the thing that you're procrastinating, the thing that you're afraid to get out and do be and making you feel stuck, the relationship that you are struggling with because there's a lot of criticism and blame and lack of responsibility, or you're feeling like you can't grow or have the relationship that you want, ask yourself, is this true for everybody? Can you think of anyone that has the scenario that you think you would want? And if you can find one person doing it, then it is not a hardline truth, right? Certainly there can be factors of struggles or challenges. Maybe you have different challenges and things you need to accomplish at a different level that somebody else did, but it is achievable. And if you want it, you can have it, or you can do it, or you can become it. And so then the, the question there just becomes, do you really want to do the thing or have the thing or become the thing that you really are longing for? Because it's that journey space that we're usually afraid of. It's that fear of Failure, fear of rejection, fear of ridicule, fear of finding out we're not good enough. Those moments of like, fear that there's scarcity, like the achievement with money, right? The idea that there's only a limited amount of money is a scarcity mindset. The idea that there's a limited number of healthy loving relationships and people out there, that's scarcity mindset. And it's not true. There are a billion people out there. You can find and create a very healthy relationship if you'd like to. Money is an an infinite growing commodity and you can find ways to bring in more money. The only way that you don't is because you have set an expectation on yourself that you're only worth this much, you can only achieve this much. And a lot of times that is because you think, I go to work, I work from 9 to 5 and I work for this company and I do these things. That's a limited mindset, right? That is something that we were taught from the last generations. That's just the way it was done. You have to go to school, you have to get an education, you have to make good grades, you have to go to a university to have a successful business. That's a limited mindset. Is that one good option? Absolutely. But it's not the only option. And there are plenty of extremely wealthy, successful people who did it completely the opposite. So if it works for one person, it means that it could be working for you. So what I work with my clients with and what I try to do with myself, because first of all, we all have limiting beliefs and even I work with my coach to unravel my limiting beliefs. It is difficult to see and uncover and face our own limiting beliefs. But you can in some respects, okay, you can identify these feelings and get practiced at and skilled at leaning into the things that make you feel a little nervous, lean into the things that you're speaking out loud or thinking in your head. Are you creating a lot of negativity in your life? Are you saying I can't a lot? Are you complaining a lot? Are you avoiding things that create more chaos and stress in your life? Those are signs that you're perhaps living a little too much in a limiting belief belief system. And you can always find ways to make small steps forward to convince yourself and prove to yourself. Create that self efficacy that you can overcome a scenario. It doesn't have to be a big giant change. And even neuroscience shows that in general, most people need about 63 consecutive focused days. So where you're really paying attention and being aware of the thoughts that you're thinking, where they're coming from, where are the fears? What's the outcome? If you did fail at something, it takes about 63 days for you to take those and shift the thinking and try a different route and try a different action plan or and try a different way of thinking, it takes about that 63 as some people need longer. But if you take something and focus on it continuously, not all day, even just five or 10 minutes in the morning or five or 10 minutes at night for 63 days. Neuroscience shows that that 63 day mark is about when you've created a new habit, but also the, the firing of the brain and the thinking process that happens becomes more solidified with the new process and then the new thought. So you can change your limiting beliefs. I think what I don't remember what we were saying the adventure and travel podcast, but I do remember writing my notes down saying we've gotta talk about the limiting beliefs. I have a feeling it was something we could afford or where you could go or oh, what age you had to be to travel the world or something, put a backpack on your back and walk through Europe. I was making a joke. But the limiting thinking on that's a straight up limiting thinking. Of course you can go do anything at any age. Age shouldn't be restricting us from having adventures and making career changes or finding the relationship or getting in good shape. That is absolutely a limiting belief heavy in the United States, if not the world that we can overcome. And so I challenge you to do some self awareness reflection in your days coming ahead. Take the next week or so and look at what comes up for you in the realm of what you complain about or what you feel frustrated and stuck on. Those are the signs that you've got to look at and say is this really true? Is this really something I cannot do? Is this really something that I, I'm avoiding because I'm afraid of it? And where's that fear coming from? Where did I pick up these belief patterns that this is the way the world works and challenge that space by asking yourself one just that. Where did these beliefs really come from? What's going to be the pain point if I do the negative? If I try this and the negative happens? Like what? How bad would it hurt to fail at this? How bad would it hurt if I get rejected in this situation? Does that define me? Is it my whole world going to fall apart? Maybe there's something I can learn from that. If I ask this person out and they reject me. Does that really define your happiness and your lovability, your ability to find a successful relationship? It doesn't. And dive into those deeper fears. And it can be as. It can be as light as I wake up to. I want to wake up to a clean house or kitchen in the morning and. But it never works that way. And nobody helps with the dishes at night. I just can't make anybody do what I'm asking them to do. That's a limiting belief. It's not that it's always quick and simple and easy. There are definitely some steps that have to be taken with all these things. But if you truly want the outcome of something that's aching in your gut or making you feel like you can't have something or causing an angst and a frustration, that is the signal that you're wanting to at least try to achieve this thing. And the only thing that's holding you back is your belief that you can't figure out a way to make that happen or that if it didn't work out you would be in danger of your life, your health, your wealth and something to that effect. Again, limiting beliefs are set up originally as a protection mechanism. So ask yourself, what would it look like? So take whatever it is that you're thinking you want, wherever you're complaining, wherever you're fearing, whatever it is you want to achieve that you're procrastinating on and whatever pops up and just ask yourself the flip side of that. What would it feel like to not feel this? What would I need to not have this doubt? What would I need to make this goal come together? What would need to be a skill that I have or an agreement and a compromise or what type of belief do I need to flip? Is there an example of that and how do I get it? I think when we start to slowly turn that dial away from the limiting to beliefs to the what if possibility. What if I possibly could have that new job? What if I possibly don't need that new job? I just need to find a way to make my job more enjoyable? Yeah, my job might be stressful and have a lot of time requirements, but what's the reality of what I put on myself? Is it that my nervous system is so trained to be be in this stress that I actually seek it out? Right. So body's going to tell you and it's going to look for these limiting beliefs. If it's used to being in that stress situation, it's going to find that normalcy so get good at turning that dial and saying what if this could happen? What would it feel like if I totally flipped my thinking on this and see where that might help you overcome an obstacle or at least free up some stress and allow you to release a little self abuse that might be going on mentally and maybe just create a little bit more happiness in your life, allow you to have some joy in the small things and not carry so much burden and stress into your relationships. All right my friends, I will leave you and hopefully our next little podcast will be Brian and I back together again and I can't wait to hear all about his trip and see the insights that he picked up on a vacation. So I wish you all all a happy week and thank you guys again for joining us on this little mini podcast. And since Brian is not here to remind you, I will jump in and say we do all of this at no charge and we want to keep this commercial free or get it to commercial free at some point. So we would love it if you could pop over and give us a little quick review or share it with a friend that maybe needs just some inspiring conversation on their commute to work and leave us a comment. We'd love to hear any thoughts or questions or ideas that you might have for future podcasts. All right guys, have a wonderful night and thanks again. Take care. Bye bye.

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Looking to get out there and feel the in your hair Chevy EVs have you covered like the Blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away and with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease and Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence Chevrolet Together let's drive.

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