EP 56 RIP - P

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If your goal is big enough that it's putting you into the uncomfort zone, it's breaking out of that comfort zone which it should should make you a little scared, should make you a little uncomfortable. If that is the case and you don't have deadlines and self expectation then you will find ways to sabotage it. Hey friends, thank you for listening to the All Things Good for your podcast. Join us as we explore ancient traditions, modern tools and practices in the world of health, wellness and personal development. I'm Amy Christensen, your host and your curated mind coach.

And I'm your co host Brian Bowen, founder of Integrative Health Inc. And Better Human Company High Performance Coaching. Are you ready to take control of your life and start feeling enthusiastic, empowered and limitless each day and every day for a life well lived? Let your curiosity flow with All Things Good for you. Good evening Amy. It's not morning. We're doing another evening one. I'm so excited.

Another evening. Another exciting, fun filled evening with All Things Good for you podcast.

All things Good for you on our.

Ever fun and entertaining Brian Bowen and the giggly Amy Christensen.

Yeah, I don't know how many evening ones she we should do. Apparently it does get a little goofier in the evening so we'll see see where this takes us. So for those of you just now tuning into this series, there's actually a series so you need to go back and listen to the last two. The first one is an R for Reset, second one is I for Ignite. And today's I'm not going to say it yet, but I did have some feedback and got some people sending some messages that was very interesting. Lots of good questions, lots of good feedback and then some other ones I just wanted to address if you don't mind. One was a person had was doing the homework from the R and was made a comment that I thought was pretty pretty cool and and just something to think about is that depending on the mind space you're in how you answer the question. So she's like I think it's important to let people know you should be in a good mind space when you answer some of these questions because she felt like hers weren't very good. And so we went through her questions or her answers, I should say. And I think it is important to always set the intention of what you're doing and not be in a space where you're just going to fall back into some. Some negative patterns or processes that aren't really the goal, the aim of the goal. But there was a lot of good value of going over those answers for her because a lot of the things we saw, a theme that was kind of pulling forward, and then especially one of the questions about how she wants others to see her compared to some of these other things. Well, that's important because here you are this, and here you were this. But here's how what your goal is. So the great thing is from that is that it's showing kind of that metric or that space where you need to grow and where you, you know what you're striving for and that there's these opportunities. And so there's still good stuff. There's a lot of great stuff that came from having the conversation. But to her point, I think it is important to. If you're in a negative heavy space, you've had a really heavy day, you've had lots of stuff going on, whatever it is, clear. Clear things out and sit down with intention and just be where you are now and present with the homework you're doing. And I know we don't like the homework. Word. Sorry. Damn it.

Opportunity to grow.

Opportunity, grow. I know, I love the word opportunity. I. The word opportunity. But, you know, and I'm trying to think of how to say this more gracefully, but at the end of the day, clear your stuff. Be here. Realize when you're doing the. This stuff that this is the space you need to be in and not hanging on to all of those other negative thoughts that are weighing you down, that are going to pull you into a space where you're not going to answer authentically, or maybe you feel like that is your authentic place, but it's. It's important. You know, I like it.

Yeah. And my thoughts are. What I really do stress with my clients is don't avoid that shadow space. Don't avoid the negative. I think it's why it makes it important to. And I think we mentioned it at the end of the podcast, like, print those pages off that we're going to. We're going to create for you guys here and have available after this podcast is published. Do this on a daily basis. Maybe, maybe you take a couple of times if you're really fresh with an idea and you're just getting started with some mindset work and goal work, doing it a couple of times during your day or reflecting on it at night. I think it's very productive and healthy to see how your mindset can change. And I think it's important to see the negative side. See where you are when you're in a doubtful space. See where you are when you are in that fear operating mode or that lack operating mode and be prepared for that because that's going to oftentimes reveal how we might have a tendency to avoid or coping mechanisms that could come in. And you can distract yourself or procrastinate yourself with achieving these goals. So I totally agree. You've got to pay attention to your mind space. But use that as a, a growth, another growth opportunity. Use that as a space. You write something down one morning and it's when you were in a bad mood or if you were cranky about something or you just came out of an ugly meeting and you were just kind of. Or you just spent 45 minutes in traffic when it usually takes you 20 and you're crank, you might, you know, that's okay, like, write that stuff down because I feel like you're. It's good processing. And then if you look at it later and go, wow, that was in a very healthy headspace. Congratulations. You know, that's fantastic. You were able to look at yourself and go, huh, I, I could shift this. And you just get more familiar with it. And frankly, when you read back your notes and you're journaling or you're not, you're writing and you can see, wow, I don't actually feel that way. It, it becomes, at this moment, it becomes easier to recognize that those feelings, those negative spaces or negative triggers or these negative tendencies that we might have and these limiting beliefs, how it feels in the body, it gets easier to catch those in the future and be quicker in the moment to catch them and go, oh, no, no. I know I tended to do this in the past, but I'm not going to do that. I'm going to shift this type of thinking and I'm going to choose to go this route with it. So good for, good for your client that she or our podcast listener. Thank you very much, listeners, and thank you for the feedback. I think that's fantastic.

No, it was. And so. And that to, to look at each question, answer, and don't just take each one and let it stand on its own, but look at it relative to the other Questions that you answered. Because again, when we went through them. Well, first of all, pause. Look how awesome this is, right? Like, look at the information that that gives us. So sometimes we. One question, one answer by itself might not be as relevant as it is to the other questions and answers as it relates to each other. So it's very, can be very informative. I was thinking when you were talking about, I have a lot of clients that sometimes go to doctors and their blood pressure's a little high. And there's a whole thing about the white coat syndrome when you go in and sometimes automatically your blood pressure give it a 30 points because it can spike because of just the nervousness of going to a doctor's office and all that stuff. But a lot of times a doctor will just prescribe high blood pressure medication if your blood pressure is high on like that one visit. And so I always tell them, listen, go buy a blood blood pressure cuff monitor. Do it three times a day, do it, whatever, do it for three weeks. Like, don't just start something because of one reading, right? Like, what does it. What's the story telling you? And I think we need to pay attention to what is this story telling us versus, like an episodic kind of thing. Because, because to your point, like that negative space or that energy or whatever, you know, it has these peaks and valleys, which is totally natural and normal. And God, if we didn't have those peaks and valleys, then we wouldn't even know what great is or we wouldn't know what crappy. You know, we have to have these, these things. And so that blood pressure to monitor that over a period of time lets us know what the real story is and, and where we need to go with that. So same thing with these questions. I think you brought up a great point. Do this, you know, multiple times daily or whatever and really start to understand and see where that space is. And I think that all too often in, in our environment and daily lives and stuff like that, sometimes that one experience, that one question, that one answer, that one whatever becomes the bold statement that dictates or guides our decisions, our actions and our thoughts. And it shouldn't, it should be like, what is a story?

I think we get a little, little hard on ourselves thinking. I'm a huge fan of positive psychology. I'm a huge fan of the movement of positive psychology. But I think it gets a bad rap because there for a while it was becoming like, like the cancel any negative thought process. And I think that that led people into some delusional and fear based mechanisms that made them ignore and feel shame and guilt and the really hard self judgment when they do have a negative thought or they are in a bad mood and we're human, it's okay. It's not that we have to be all perfect and happy and everything is always positive and you know, we can never have a bad day or think a bad thought. Not at all. I think, I think we have to, you know my union theory from Carl Jung and embrace part of our shadow side and not in the sense of just be complacent and accept that we do things that we don't like about ourselves but recognize that we're human and we're learning.

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You know, have compassion with yourself a little bit.

I love it. And so for everybody who's been going through the home the sorry, the opportunity growth, extra curricular questions. Is that good?

Extra love extracurricular questions. There we go.

Everybody loves extracurricular that we've given the first one just to recap. So the whole thing go back to the beginning. Listen to it. Acronym rip. There's a little kind of story behind that. But the R was for reset and there was a set of opportunity questions for you there. That that then fed into it was all about reset and it was all about getting into understanding where you've kind of let some goals down, where you're missing some passions and purposes and desires and who you want to strive to be and how you can live more purposely and if you haven't felt fulfilled where you know, where can you feel more fulfillment? So it was a series of questions to guide you into answering some of those big questions. Because at the end of the day we are all going to be on the same. Our destiny is all the same. We're all going to be on our deathbed and we want you to answer the question of how did you have such a great life and live so long? And we want you to say I lived life with no regrets. I. I lived the life I way I wanted. I fulfilled my goals, destinies and dreams I've loved, and all those good, yummy things. Second one was I for Ignite. And basically, now that we got you in touch or those questions guided you to help get you in touch with some of those deeper aspects of yourself and kind of reset you to this new opportunity. The next one was Ignite and tapping into. Tapping into that fire and past experiences that give us that joy and energy and vibrancy and that just make you want to relentlessly pursue and take on and achieve your dreams. And so we asked a series of questions to help cultivate that energy. And now we are here at P, which, Amy, what does the P stand for?

What does the P stand for?

I didn't mean to throw you under the bus. There we is. Pursue.

It is the pursuit. The pursuit of your dreams and goals and actions. We're in. It's the action steps, right?

The most important. The most important. And I just want to share a quick little story, Amy, if you don't mind. I was in Toronto this past week teaching. Well, knowledge is. So My Siri, on my watch just popped up and said, knowledge is good.

Oh, I love her. She's so smart. She was just gathering knowledge while she's listening to us. So she's. I guess she was just complimenting us.

She did one time pop up on my watch and also say why. I was talking to a client, a female client, by the way, and out of the blue popped up and said, I like sex, too. And by the way I looked at my client, I'm like, did you say anything about sex? Because I didn't say anything about sex. And she's like, I don't say anything about. Like, I don't know what's happening here. But Siri, Siri lost her. Like, I don't even know. Like, I should have followed up. Like, what kind of sex do you like, Siri? Because that's an interesting. That's an interesting question. I feel like, oh, so pursue. Oh, oh, oh. My story, Toronto. Okay, real quick. So the action steps are the most important steps in my mind because I really think that we. We can get stuck. We can get stuck in analytics and thinking and talking and thinking and talking. And so when I'm learning and I was in a. I was in Canada and I was having. After class, I was having dinner with some students and the dean, and I was talking to this one student. He's a really intriguing guy, just a great guy, and he actually flew in to take my class from Peru. And he just had these interesting stories. And so we started talking about books and. And I'm like, you know what? Let's learn a lot about each other right now. He's like, what? I'm like, yeah, I'm going to share my audible library with you and I want to see. Give me your phone. I want to see your audible library. And the thing is, is like, looking through both of our audible libraries, the amount of books that we've listened to. Right. Is, was, was awesome. But also, like, it just makes you think, like, yeah, we don't get it. We don't get it yet. We haven't, like, we haven't moved on. Like, I like looking at the titles. If you look at the title, I can tell you what the book's about. And, and we can. And those of you who listen to this podcast, same thing. Like, great. You've probably heard, hopefully you've heard a lot of this. Hopefully you keep cramming this stuff in your head, but it's the action. Like, if you do the action, you don't have to listen to us gavel as much. You don't have to listen to. You don't have to read as many books because you're taking action steps.

So, yeah, it's funny that you say that because I, I mean that it's very ironic because we. I just went through a thing where I'm doing some content prep work for my 12 week program and I was like, okay, I'm gonna go get this book and hone in on this and I'm gonna eat this book and hone in on this. And then I was like, you know, I should probably review my Audible account and my Kindle. And I was like, oh, dear Lord, I have like 10 books on like 12 different subjects and I don't really need to buy any more books. Like now it's just time to rec. Yeah, just get in and dig out the content from what we already know. But. And then there was somebody else that I was listening to on a podcast that said something very similar. So I think that is a normal.

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Chevrolet together, let's drive entrepreneur or self development type person. Like, we have a desire for knowledge, right. And we, we constantly are looking for more ways to hone it in or what's the latest information or how's this expert doing it? Like, the constant learning is valuable and I don't know that I agree that action is the most important. I feel like it just, it all goes together. Right. What's the most important part of a cake? I don't, you know, the icing. I don't know.

I do agree with you. Again, purpose I could say is the most important. But I feel, I, I guess I just feel like if we all just took a little more action and to move forward.

Let's talk in a little more action.

Yeah. Because the knowledge is innate in, within you. It's just awaken, awakening it. Right?

Right.

And then just as this rip the reset, we're resetting the things that we, we know are inside of us. So it's just cultivating and bringing that awareness back to those dreams and goals and desires and things we left behind. Maybe we got lost, maybe we fell off the path and we woke up one day and we're like, how am I here? I'm not happy, I'm not this, I'm not that. So it's just getting back to things you know you need to be doing or the place you know you want to go, or the right path. And so, and then igniting it is cultivating and understanding where those energies have lived and, and things you've experienced before that gave you that kind of energy and how we tap into that and use it as fuel. But then the next thing is the big thing. It's, you got, you got to pursue it, you got to ignite it, you.

Got, you got to make it happen. You can't just have the thought like, I agree, like, you're not even going to take action if you don't have a good mindset. If you're not, you know, choosing the thoughts and the ways that you want to do. If you don't even believe in the process, if you're not even self aware or inspired enough to have a thought outside of it. It's kind of like, okay, taking the cake thing, it's like, okay, I. All of our ingredients are in the bowl, it's mixed in the mixer. And now we're going to take action. We're putting it in the Oven and baking it. Right. It's not going to be a cake. It's just batter.

I think the action is. It's going in my mouth. Like I want it in my mouth and it's attack it. Attack it ferociously. Yeah, but I think that how many people so fear. Well, just. I just want to spend just a second on fear. Just, just one second. Because we don't want to give fear too much attention.

Don't talk about it.

I don't talk about. Don't even say. Don't say the words.

If you say fear, if you pay attention to it, it's going to be real.

The F word. We're going to talk about the F word. So the F word can. Like there's. I'm actually in a bit of a fear moment too with something and I understand it because like there's different fears for different things. So I need to make a decision on something's really important to me and I really want it to move forward in a much bigger way. And so one of the fear things I have is I just had a conversation with this company today that it could cost X amount per month to do this. And based off of experiences in the past. And, you know, I'm kind of holding back. I'm like, okay, do I take the. Do I take the chance? But wait, this thing could really, if it's the right fit, it could really help me move forward dramatically and evolve my. My down needle into a whole nother place. But there's a fear component. The fear component is. I don't like to waste money, right. I want it to be impactful. I want it to be here sometimes it's a fear of failure. Going back to Brendan Burchard stuff, right? A fear of loss. There's lost pain, there's process pain and so forth. And so it's like there's. There's these different pains from different things and fear, or sorry, the F word, that can hold us back. And so. So people become paralyzed in that. Right? It could be the not support of somebody. Lack of support in a family of somebody holding you back. Like I. You've tried that again. I got a great movie. I don't even know the name of this movie. Tell me the name of this movie. I mean, I literally. I don't watch movies on plane.

Okay.

Oh my God. So I watch this movie on the plane and I was just. I don't even know what the frickin thing's called, but I'm going to tell you what it's about and somebody can tell us. So it is Jennifer. She was a lady. That was. Now she's. She's so adorable. She's so adorable. No, it's a much younger one. She was, she was the one that was in the. Oh my God, we're the worst trailer team ever. Can you, can you just read my freaking mind? Okay, anyway.

Jennifer Lawrence.

No. Yeah, it was Jennifer Lawrence. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Yes. I love you. So it was her. But the whole thing was about. It was based on a true story about the person who made the twisty ringy self. Ringy outy mop.

Yes. Oh, what's Is it Joy?

Yeah, Joy.

Yeah.

So I never like I would. First of all, let me just say I probably would not. I don't know why I was gravitated to watching this movie, but I love a story about overcoming, about triumph, about like making it happen. And you know, there was every. There was tons of tragedies holding her back and responsibilities and like fear, money, family, dad, you know, status, do stuff, social status. There was like all those things. A fear. This is perfect for this conversation. Or the F word holding her back. Right. And so, so finally that fuel, that, that, that thing that she buried, there was a whole thing about her that's been buried 17 years. And she remembered what it was, she remembered what that fire felt like. And then that fire just came right to the surface really quick, right. Just boom. And so she started just. She had this idea or something happened and she had sparked this idea that that fire was inside of her. And then she brought it, she. It was, it always lives there. So she brought it forward, she started drawing, she started thing. And then sure enough, one tragedy after another happened after that that she just, she pushed through. She. That you can't stop that kind of fire, right? You can't stop that kind of. There's action steps from happening. She kept pushing through and frickin was awesome. And it's freaking about a mop.

Yeah.

But it's more than about a month. So it's about her. It's about the reset. She had to have a reset, right? She had to have this reset and she did. She was stuck in a situation where she was raising her kids. She was. Her dad was living in her basement, her ex husband was living in her basement. Her mom's watching. So Prop is in bed all day. I mean I would, I don't know what I would have done. I probably never mind. But she had to have this reset and then she had this memory that ignited all that Fire that she had as a child. That was her creative energy that made her want to relentlessly just freaking build stuff and design stuff and create, right? And then that ignited her pursuit and she just took off and pursued. And no matter what came in her way, she pivoted, overcame the obstacles and. And she brought the twisty mop to. As a self ringing twisty mop that you could throw in the washer and wash it. That's super clean. And we have one at our house too.

And that is also driven by sheer tenacity and fervor, which are often described as negative characteristics. And I am just here to say that they are very positive almost every time.

Can you tell me what. What's fervor? Oh, fervor.

Don't you know me? I've described many a few. Many a time of how annoying my fervor was.

I'm not. I do know you, but I'm trying to think of the like, I don't know the word.

Tenacity and drive. Excitement.

Okay.

Spunk.

Fervor. Like, fervor.

It's that unrelinquishing drive and. Yeah, you know, it's. And I love that movie too, because it just overcame so many things. It was way more than just the mop. Right. It was so much more social status and economic. Economic status and family history and breaking generational curses and. And origin stories. Like tons of great stuff in that movie. It was fantastic.

Thank you, Jennifer Lawrence. You taught me a lot.

Somebody else wrote the book. She was just actress. You know that, right?

Well, I know, but I'm thanking her because she's. She's the one I connected to in the story.

I know. I mean, it's like.

And now her new. Her new movie coming out is a little different than that.

I haven't. I haven't seen anything new lately. It's crazy.

It's. It's a preview was of a father hiring her because his son's a wimp and whatever. And she. He's hiring her to like, like help him step up in his manliness and sexed him up and stuff like that. So there's.

Oh, there's such a story there. Oh my gosh. Okay, we're skipping that one. Okay. That is.

That is another. My point is that's an opposite.

There is a lot to talk about in that one.

I know, we'll talk about that.

I had no idea that that's a movie coming out. I love it.

I mean, I'm gonna have to write her and tell her that we really like the cat that she.

We're gonna get Jennifer Lawrence on for you and Huberman on for me.

I mean, I like that she's stretching her herself, though, a little. Okay. I forget about that. Okay.

Yeah, no, she's great. Okay, Back on track here. Let's focus. Brian.

Brian, I'm focused.

Back to the podcast.

Are you focused?

What are we talking about tonight? We totally lost track.

We're no. Back to the p. We had to talk about pursue, and so I had to sidetrack it a little bit with that story. So I'm sorry for that tangent, but we're. We're back. So we have questions for you. We have some opportunity questions.

Your opportunity for growth, people.

Yeah.

Yes. Okay, so we've gone through all the parts, right? Okay. We went through the reset, we went through the ignite. You've got your vision, you've got your feeling, you've got your why. You've got the excitement, you've got the drive. You're ready to roll now. How the heck are you going to do this? How are you implementing it? What are you going to do with your pursuit? How are you going to start working towards your goal? And it always seems like, oh, my gosh, this is so obvious you did that. But we know that really, when you get down to it and you start taking some processing for your goals, you take some certain steps or you pick whatever model you want to do, you start. It does get very revealing and it reveals, like, potential problems, obstacles, clarifications. So writing down these few things is helping you really get clear on the steps you need to take for your goal. Did I say that enough? Shall I say it again?

I think I know. I think that's good. I think the. Yeah, I think the point was very clear. Like, you got to take action. And again, the questions to your point are. They are. Before you even start these questions, go back. I want you to go back to the beginning. Go back to your R and review those. Just look at them. Just read them through. I like. I like it. Read them through. Reading through. Who am I now? Who do I want to be? How do I see myself? How do others see me? Right? Am I living from purpose? How can I move more purposely? What have dreams have? So go through those and just look at what you wrote down. Just review it. Because I want you to build. I want you to.

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And again, I want every Just close your eyes for a minute. We're going to geek out. I want you to feel it viscerally. Viscerally. Viscerally. Viscerally. Visceral. Viscerally. So feel it viscerally like get out of your head. This isn't a head thing. This is an emotion. This is an experience. This is a body opportunity for you to tap into something greater, something deeper that helps open up opportunities for you to think a little differently, for you to have a more open perspective and then go into the ignite questions, right? What kind of energy drives you? And go through those. How does it get you moving? What does it feel like? Some experience of a place where you felt this before, something that you've done, feeling it inside again, what does it feel like? And pulling it in, how do you connect with it? What's it make you feel like? Does it make you feel lighter? Is it pulling and then spending that five minutes a day? So just kind of reactivate that before you move into these because we're going to pull all those forward and then they are, like Amy said, clarifying and they're going to help you kind of filter stuff out. But as you're writing these down, it's not. Don't make it simple. Don't go with the easy answer. Right? Don't go with the things you think. You know, spend a minute to contemplate it and tap it into what you feel. Then start writing it down. Sorry, side tangent.

Yep, that's great. I think that's important. Do all the things. Don't forget to visualize. Write this stuff down. I like to reverse engineer my goals. So like I talked about in the visualization podcast, I like to see the end goal. But don't stop there. As I mentioned, there's a reason. There's science for reason. Don't just visualize the end goal. You got to reverse engineer it. Don't let your brain stay too long in the happy end world of all the goals being done feeling or you'll lose your motivation. So I like to reverse engineer it. I obviously and some people like to use smart goals Some people like to use the grow model. Some people I like atomic habits. You know, you can break it down however you want to and those are all good ways to see. Maybe multiple ways to look at your. If it's a very big long term goal. If you're looking at whatever. Making dinner on Fridays. I, I'm not sure it has to be this technical, but why not reverse engineer it? Start with the end, work your way backwards. What is it going to take? Right. What? I don't want to jump into the. Do you want to jump into the questions that you have?

Because I do. Like the first question. Can I say the first question, please?

Yes, do.

Okay, so pursuing you're going to take action steps. It's time to move forward. Questions you have to answer to help guide you to those action steps.

Question number one is Question number one.

Number one is, is there any competing interests that's holding you back from moving forward? If so, move them aside. I'm gonna go a little deeper in that, just for two seconds. Competing interest. I, I think that this is an interesting one because I got asked this question. I'm like, that's a good question. Because I've never even heard it termed that way before. Right. For me personally. But there are sometimes we have our own inner conflicts or competing interests that's stealing energy that we need to free up or kind of struggling. That's just not working well. So I think when things are clear and you have this purpose, it's like, okay, like this is a really important thing. So the competing interests that I feel like I have are X, Y and Z. Right. And, and sometimes it's like I'm spending too much time in this area or I'm, you know, thinking about these other goals and tasks that really aren't my true passions or purpose. And so sometimes you have to spend time and thinking about this competing interest to see how it can free up more time and more importantly, how it can free up more energy. Because our energy is being pulled in directions that we need. It's to move in another direction or it's being borrowed and we need to, we need to take it back. We need, you know, when you have a strong desire and passion and you're being driven and you have that fire to ignite it, you need the fuel to keep that fire going. Otherwise we hit burnout. And some of these things, some of when, when you're striving for big goals and pursuit of something, that's that you haven't been involved in that on that path or that purpose and you're getting back to it. What's going to take a little bit of fuel? And a lot of people hit burnout. So sometimes I like to think of, of it as an endurance sport. Right. So we have to train to, to make it the distance and to do that we have like, for, for people who do marathons and Ironmans and stuff like that. It's not just training about the endurance or the altitude, but it's also like the nutrition and these other pieces. So we have to think about all of these other things where we need energy. And it's like, okay, I, I do this. I, I like to watch so and so TV all night long and I need more sleep. So I need that. I need that energy back. I'm so stressed about these other things. Actually, these other things really aren't important. So I'm going to stop worrying about these other things so I can borrow that energy back or I'm spending too much time in this thing that I absolutely hate and do not love whatsoever. And I'm putting, you know, eight hours of my day into this thing. So I need that energy back. So start thinking about those competing interest that are taking that energy that you need as fuel and that are holding you back from moving forward and just move them aside. It's time for them to go. Right. It's time for them to move on. Obviously, some things can be a challenge. Relationships can be a challenge where they're not as supportive. So maybe you can't move them aside, but you have to create that sacred space for yourself. And if it's not in your house, you go find a place. If it's not, it's all the ingredients that are required to support you in this, in this new journey of yours. So, so just spend time thinking about that before you just answer it. And I feel like it's a huge, huge question, but I think the depth of it needs to be really thoughtful and specific.

Yeah, you've got to analyze your right. Readiness to change. Like, how much are you committed to this goal? And if your commitments are swayed or you're really not in a place where you are fully ready for this change, you're going to find ways to sabotage. And I think that that ties in with kind of looking forward to what obstacles can come up? What are going to be some of your distractions? What are some of your struggles? Forecasting your obstacles around your goal, being realistic with, okay, these types of things might inhibit my ability to do something. And I think those tie right into you're you're the number two, right? Question. Number two.

Number two.

Yep. Number two.

Number two. What is it? What is it?

Number two. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how important is this goal to you? Right. And we talked a little bit about this in the reset, you know, process and the visualization of, like, what's your purpose? What's your goal? Why do you want this to happen? But I think if you are going to set down a process, you've got to really look at it. Okay. This is, these are competing interests, but this is so important to me. This is a 10. And maybe, you know, the timeframe of it is a 10 also. And, and so you're gonna have to make some sort of shifts and sacrifices to reach that highest important goal.

Yeah, there could be some process pain. I mean, if you're putting a lot of energy into a six kind of thing, that's on a level of importance as a six, and you're putting a ton of energy into it, and you have this thing that's a 10. Why, why shouldn't it deserve way more energy? Right? And I think that it seems so simplistic. Again, this is one of those head versus visceral fields. Like, are you kidding me? Like, I'm spending this much time of my day into this thing that I feel like is at a level four or six, right? And here I have this thing that's a 10, and I haven't even put, I don't put any energy into it because I have so much fear. I have to do this thing because I got it. You know, it's just a deeper evaluation. And again, I think it's this. Don't just say, oh, it's a ten. Why is it a ten? I want you to feel it.

I, I. Not to mess up your, your process here because we, we jotted these numbers down, and I think we've got to move number six to number three. Do it because it falls right in line with that. Because if you're going to be like, how important is this goal to you? Then you've got to think, you know, what would it mean to you to fulfill this, this, this goal? What would this mean for you, your family, like, obviously your, your family or marriage or whatever, in and even like, career, if it's outside of your career goals, like, those are important things. But for this period of time to reach this goal, are you going to have to shift some attention and focus in the long run? Because what would it mean to achieve that goal? Is it going to make your career better? Is it going to make your marriage better, your relationships better? You know, so I think again, it seems like common sense, but when you really start and you write this stuff down and you put it down on paper, you know, write it down, make it happen. I think it makes a big difference.

What's Brenda say? Ready? Amy? Common sense is not common practice. It's not common practice.

He also says write this down. If you're not taking notes, you are not committed, you are not serious.

That's right.

You're just here to watch a show. Write it down. I don't think he says it exactly.

Like that, but I like the way you said it. I do have a secret for you. Question number six. I just want to rephrase that. Amy was saying we should move question number six to question number three. Question number six again is what would it mean to you to fulfill this part of you? How would it feel? So I actually moved. It was actually number three and I moved it to number six on purpose. And there's a reason why. And I'm going to tell you because I think it highlights how important this is, is I wanted to, I thought about finishing with a very emotional thing like how would that, like you go through this kind of heady on a scale of 1 to 10 and. But then it's like at the end, it's like, how would you, how would it feel to you to fulfill this part of you? How would it feel to feel to you to fulfill your dreams, to fulfill these goals that you've been putting off on the back burner for 20 years because you've had all these other competing interests take over. And competing interests aren't always bad. Sometimes you have to competing interest could be you're raising kids and you had got divorced and you, you know, things happen. But there's these competing interests and now, now it's your time. Now it's your time to put your mask on first. Now it's your time. So how would it feel to you? So when you are on your deathbed.

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And you're passing away. You can smile on your face and you're like, I freaking did what I wanted to do. I fulfilled my goals, I fulfilled my dreams. I filled. My heart feels complete because I did not let this stuff settle. I did not let this stuff disappear, dissipate, dis, whatever, go away. I was on a D word for a minute there. Sorry.

No, I totally get that. Yeah, I think getting into the somatic space of it too, you know, literally thinking about how it feels and I again, I went into some of that in the visualization process. Just don't, don't get stuck there. Don't get stuck on that. Because if you end with it, you if. And you don't follow through with 3, 4, 5. If you don't do the action part, then, you know, you can have big, lofty dreams and ideas, but if you're not actually doing them, you're, you know, you can just daydream all day long. So what. Let's jump right into to number three, shall we? Your. The. The official number three.

We shall. But I do think that we should make everybody now. We should add another homework and we should have everybody do a dance and an improv dance on how it makes you feel and what that feeling is. And if you video and send us. Send it into us, you will win a free. I don't know. I don't know yet. I was gonna say I'll let you.

To go with that.

Free surprise. A free surprise. You're gonna get a surprise. Okay, Number three. Go, Amy. Okay. All right. All right.

So we've said this a little bit, but write down the goal, write down the dream, the inspiration, and write down specifically at least three key things that you need to do. Obtain, have, learn, be ready for. What's the capability that you need to move forward with the goal?

Yeah, love that.

So write it down. But what do you need to implement this goal, make it and take those steps forward?

I personally love, love, love when you write something down. Don't just tell me what do you need to do. The three key action steps to make that thing happen is awesome. And then we're going to take it further.

Well, that's number four. You just jumped right in. You didn't let me announce it. Number four.

Oh, no, I didn't say that.

That was.

That was. Write down three key things. Number four elaborates on those things.

Yeah, write it down. Why are they important? Yeah. Bam, bam.

Oh, Did I. Did I say that already?

Yeah, you did. That's good, though.

I did. I did. Okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. If I said so.

Yeah. Number three was write down the goal and then write down three key things that you need to do to move forward. And then number four is write down for each of these three things that. Why they are important, an important action step towards the goal. So, yeah, yeah, you're just. You're defining. Exactly. Because sometimes you think you have to put something down, and it's like, I don't really need to do that, or I can delegate that. That's not what I need to spend my time on. Yes, it may be a part of the process to get the goal, but it really doesn't have to be, like, big anyway, so. And number five.

Can I go back to number four just for a second?

Yeah, sorry.

I know. I'm sorry. Real quick. I. Again, to continue to elaborate, to process this through is like talking it out to yourself. I can say, if you ask me a question, I can quickly give you an answer.

But if.

Then, if you're like, well, tell me why, Brian. And then I start having to think it through that, like, locks it in more and more. And if it's not actually something that needs to be done and I'm. And I'm saying it, I'm putting that down, and I'm going to actually follow, you know, start to put action steps. It's stealing my energy. Right. It needs to be like your three things. You know, here's your goals and here's my three things to get me to those goals. They need to be the most important things to do that. So we're trying to filter out the. We're trying to filter out the. The heady stuff, the stuff that you might have, you know, somebody else told you you needed to do, and you have to think it through. And then that's why writing down why you need to do those three things is a central process of filtering that stuff out so that. That bullseye is so clear and so precise. And because, again, you. We need to have every little bit of energy. This is an endurance sport. We have to have the energy to drive us and. And carry us into that direction. So we have to. We have to not let the little things steal it from us. Sorry. There you go.

Yeah. Number five. Number five, what timeline would you like to. Or does it need to be completed in. All right, so obviously, just like, with a smart goal or any type of achievable goal, all of them grow habit. Atomic habits. They all have a timeframe. If you're not setting up a timeframe, you're not giving yourself little deadlines and little sub goals to reach, you are probably not going to achieve them.

Yeah.

You know, you can find all kinds of excuses if, especially if your, if your goal is big enough that it's putting you into the uncomfort zone. Right. It's breaking out of that comfort zone, which it should, should make you a little scared. It should make you a little uncomfortable. If that is the case and you don't have deadlines and self expectation, then you will find ways to sabotage it.

100. Yeah. What's the second part of that question?

What could you do to even cut that timeline in half? Yeah, I think but some, some urgency and pressure is a good idea.

It's important because remember, Rip, rest in peace. We're all gonna die. Cut it in half. So I hate man, I'm just gonna use some fear tactics here. But we don't have all day, people. I, I do remember lots of things are set achievable goals. And so, but here's the deal that when you read those books, there's these things about achievable goals. Don't make it too hard because you are setting yourself up for failure. But at the same time, remember we, the person who hasn't achieved those goals is setting the goals. Do you know what I mean? So it's kind of like we're, we're like, are we the best person to be setting the goals if we haven't achieved the goals or is the, the dysfunctional part of us, the part that's setting those goals? And I don't mean dysfunctional, like we all have problems, but I mean there's the part of us that hasn't achieved the goals, that's trying to achieve a goal. And so I think that urgency to put pressure on it, and that's one thing I did learn from owning a couple franchises is they're like a lot of businesses. It's oh, the average break even is five years. It's fine. You're doing great. And they're like one year. You need to be at break even in one year.

Yeah.

And so it's like, oh, that seems intense. But of course, why wouldn't you want to be at break even in a year? Like, like that makes sense. But it's like, well, here's what you have to do to do that. And so there's the great thing is, is there's somebody that has Their foot on your neck a little bit. Right? Because if. Because if you're not at break even, they're not profiting because they get a percent of your revenue. And so we're the ones who have to have our foot on our own neck. And so we have this. We need to have. Our sense of urgency is we are going to freaking die. The Average lifespan is 78.8 years. Right?

Yeah. I feel what you're saying. I feel what you're saying. It's okay to put some urgency and once you make it realistic and you break it down into steps, I think is what Brian was saying there. It's just that it is okay to have some urgency. If you're. If you're looking at the goal, it should make you sweat, should make you a little nervous, it should make you a little uncomfortable. But find those subs goals to hit those points and then put yourself onto a little tighter timeline. And Brian's really, you're good at that, Brian. I. I will sit and overthink and overstudy and over prepare and overthink and override it. And I will go over and over and over. And you're really good at like, come on, let's do this, let's go. So maybe if you know your coping mechanism is over learning over preparing, then you've hire somebody or grab a support friend that pushes you a little bit.

I agree. I. Amy, I'm actually am a little bit of the opposite. I actually don't spend a night enough time, all the time preparing and thinking it through and sometimes I just do. And it could be better if I didn't. But I think that we are all. Give yourself credit. We're all more capable than what you think you are. Right. You. We all have capabilities that we haven't even tapped into. And that's a great thing in today's world about watching what people can do. It's like, oh, my God, wait, these people are doing this with their bodies in all these crazy ways. These people are doing this with creating so many things. These people are doing this. It's not necessarily about intelligence. It's about moving beyond the fear and stepping into capabilities that we possess inside of us that are there if we just give it a try. And yeah, we have to practice. Yeah, we have to be persistent. Yeah, we have to be patient. Yeah, we have to be these things. But those capabilities are there and you have it and we want you to tap into it and we want you to fulfill your dreams, your goals, your destinies, your passions. Your desires and we want to all be in that was kind of going to say I'll be in the same room when we're on our deathbed and saying hey, we did it. You know we did it. We're happy, we're out of here. Peace. Yep.

So yeah, I think just you know, holding on to that process. Get those goals written down, write it out. Find a, find a formula that works for you and break it down into small actionable steps. Figure out your big whys, interference, the tools, resources, skills and things that you might need to do to achieve those goals. Give yourself some hard timelines and set yourself up every day to win for that. Take from the atomic habits. Set yourself up to write in your journal or review your notes by put. If you drink coffee every morning, put your journal or your, your habits on the, on the refrigerator. If you have a long commute, put it on your dash. Find ways to just keep reminding yourself and setting yourself up for success with your, with your goal setting. Yeah.

Love it. And for those of you again who are just listening, this was our first three part series. So the acronym was RIP for Reset, ignite and pursue. And if you love this, I think we have a lot of frameworks we can build on. The one offs are so fun too but this was a really, this was really fun.

Yeah.

And we would love to hear from you guys and see what your feedback is. If you would like to hear some more of this, if there was something ideas you had, share them with us. We are all on this journey together. We appreciate you guys.

Yeah, we do. And that's what we do. We like hearing from everybody. We want to lift each other up and encourage each other and we would love to hear your feedback if this helped or more feedback and ideas. We would love to expand on it if you have some additional thoughts or questions.

Yeah. And please, please stop making Brian beg people. I know I'm so I'm share this. You know what? Give us five stars Amy. Thank you. Yes. Let Amy bag. Bag Amy bag. Beg for five stars.

Begging for us to stop hearing Brian beg about it.

I'll do anything you want. Anything. That was a song by the way. But I will say that begging has increased her. I was just pulling up some statistics and begging works. We are up baby.

Let's just ask for a favor. It really does matter. Does we don't. We're not getting anything other than just more exposure. But as silly as it seems, those 5 stars reviews, comments and all that stuff really does give us a little hoorah. Because sometimes, you know, unless we're. I don't look at the numbers and, you know, unless we're getting some direct feedback from some people, sometimes it feels like it's just me and Brian hanging out here, which is fine. But we, we do this to help inspire people. So please just, if you get a second, go on and leave us a five star, give us a comment, shoot us an email. All of that would be lovely. And, and we'll. We'll just keep. We'll keep doing this, getting better. I mean, we started this. We had no idea what we were doing. We really didn't.

Yeah. And we still. And now we do. Can you now.

I don't know that you can tell, but we're still here.

We're still here. I. I just want to say a five. If you give us five stars, I mean, it's kind of like giving us a hug. So, I mean, if you don't want to, like, give us a hug or a high five, you know, don't give us five stars. But if you want to high five us or hug us, we appreciate it. And that's, that's what a five star means. Or review. And, and then whoever does that, you can send in a special request on what you want us to talk about, and you're the winner. Chicken dinner. And we will do that.

And don't forget those dance moves, people. We want to see this dance.

We do want to see the dance moves.

Some people are very uncomfortable with that. It's so funny because I tell people to dance. Like my hands on client and even my coaching clients, like, I'll make them get. And we'll move around while we're doing a session or something. And I can tell the people that are like, I really don't like you for making me do this, but they always end up happy and laughing and smiling. I can't believe people just don't spontaneous dance all the time. It's one of the best things. I do it in the grocery store all the time and it's amazing. Like, I get the whole aisle to myself.

Break it out, break it out.

All right. Enough.

All right.

Okay.

Thank you, guys. Appreciate Jamie, appreciate your listeners and share this podcast with as many people as you can. I used to say three, but if you have 10 people, 10 people in your lives, 10 people that you want to share this with, that you can inspire, help give them a little motivation or that they could learn. We're just here to help people encourage, to explore health and wellness and, and live a better life. So cheers.

Thank you Brian.

Thank you. Appreciate it.

Good night. Hey friends, thank you for tuning in to the All Things Good for you podcast. Please note any information, experiences, ideas or opinions discussed today are for educational and thought provoking purposes only and not intended as medical advice. If anything piqued your curiosity, please consult with your doctor or personal medical professional. And if you're enjoying All Things Good for your podcast, hop on over and leave us a five star review so we can continue delving in and providing great content. Thanks again and we hope you are inspired to stay informed and responsible along your health and wellness journey.

Did you know your cell phone is made with recycled materials? In fact, most of the things you depend on every day are from essential infrastructure to important innovations. America is made with recycled materials. Learn how@reCycledMaterials.org.

Looking to get out there and feel the in your hair? Chevy EVs have you covered like the blazer EV with bold style that's sure to you away and with Silverado EV towing is a breeze with the capability to hitch up and tow with ease and Equinox EV helps you keep moving along like with confidence Chevrolet together let's drive.