The Backstory and Journey that sparked the new BCVL Movement.

The reinvention of DB Bedford. I get a text one night, BCVL, and I'm like, what's that? And you like, man, you the only one that didn't get it. My response was, try again.

Right. And that's fair.

And you like, nope. And then I blink and it's on the t-shirt already. Probably was on the t-shirt the night you texted to me. Okay. Never worry. I never worry. Mm-hmm. EI 365.

Mm-hmm.

Civility intelligence.

Mm-hmm.

Be civil.

Make it make sense?

Make it make sense!

It's been in my spirit since, uh, being yay high to a grasshopper that, uh, creativity is part of my DNA. The journey from Never Worry to I Never Worry to emotional intelligence to EI 365 to civility intelligence to be civil It's all very linear when you think about it, right? You know, pushing a mindset or a school of thought. Even when we was on the block in the '90s when I came up with Never Worry, um, it was a, a messaging.

Yeah.

To put on a shirt to, um, encourage people not to stress out, you know, uh, the stress-free you know, uh, element of it was a complement of the Never Worry. But when you really think about it, it was always about how do we help someone else not to crash out, miss out in life. And so we promoted that message. So, um, where we are today, uh, in— and I, I don't think there's no shortage of examples where people just do not practice being civil. And emotional intelligence was really a lot about how you process— what's your level of self-awareness, how do you manage yourself when things are emotionally charged. And civility, where I'm at now, is more about the behavior, the outward act. So I spent the first 10, 11 years trying to help those manage what's happening on the inside. But the other part, the part 2 of it, is that now what happens on the outside, which is a lot of behavior that we see. And so as I continue to, and you know, be what I like to call behavioral strategist, or when I'm having fun with them, like I'm like a behavioral Detective, what I see more than anything is that there's a gap in between the way you feel and what you do with that feeling. And in that middle right there is where you just need to be civil. Civility or workplace incivility is how I kind of got, uh, it got my attention because the work that we do with professional development, um, and the trainings that we do, and when we start studying workplace incivility, and it had a lot of data about not what happens when you don't address it. It made me want to kind of go all in, um, with the language. And to my surprise, there was no one who had, um, claims to the term civility intelligence. So when I got into emotional intelligence, it was already there.

Yeah.

People already had it, but a lot of people didn't know about it. So I became the messenger of that. And now with civilian intelligence, I was like, well, I got positioning now to get the IP around it. Now how we get to be civil is that once we put our flag in the ground, said, okay, we are going to be the gatekeepers of civility, if you will. We're going to be the ones to put our flag in the ground, say, listen, we want to raise awareness for everybody to be civil. But that was just a statement with civilian intelligence. Be civil. I want it to be a movement. I want to mobilize the messaging and give people a voice to vocalize in those difficult conversations. One can fall back and go, can we just be civil, right? Are we being civil about this? You know what, I'm just gonna be civil, right? As a neutralizer, um, to keep people from acting out. And we know in this time and age, people like to represent. And so when I released or put I Never Worry on the shelf while I reinvented myself, I had— there was nothing for me to give people who want to champion the message. There was nothing for them. They had nothing to show for it.

Okay.

So Be Civil is a movement. Right, setting this standard of behavior for humanity. Because like I said, there is no shortage of this, of people sending me stuff all day, every day.

Bit of a police officer. The police officer, the same police officer that punched a kid in the face a couple weeks ago or a week ago is now dragging another kid out. She probably should be taken off the force for a minute.

And that's what I mean by incivility. So in her moment of incivility, whatever she thinks she's doing, there's a ripple effect happening. The police department is under— is going to be all in the news. These civil suits, this lady probably gonna lose her job, you know, uh, she's gonna be getting threats. I mean, a lot of stuff is going to happen because in the moment she just couldn't be civil. Whatever her job is to do and whatever the person she put over to do, there's a way to go about doing it. That's what Be Civil is about. So Be Civil is simply just a movement, a mobilization of messaging. So for in society, we just practice being civil. And when those gaps, those moments where you feel emotionally charged, I want to train and teach people how to be civil. And that happens through civilian intelligence and the messaging using the BCVL, adapting kind of very much how license plates—

Did that to me that night too, and I'm like, you don't have to have all the vowels or whatever.

But my business partner Emilio, he designed and actually created this. His intention was for you possibly not to get it up front, but make you turn your head and be like, what does that mean? But as soon as I say be civil, then now you can't unsee it, right? So you don't still look at it now and go, what does that say?

No, I know what it say now. But I was about to say, I don't gotta get everything. So once you explain it, of course I'm gonna get it. But when you just send a text out the blue in the middle of the night, I'm like—

Um, I'm launching, uh, the Be Civil movement on my birthday because history has shown that, um, I like to release things on my birthday. And that's really because, uh, that's when the algorithm of life, of social media, the universe conspired to bring attention to myself. When it's your birthday, all eyes on you, and it's an opportunity for me to be of service to others. It's important for you to, um, to know how to be civil.

Yeah.

I don't want you just to be like— this is not a fashion thing. It's like if you put this on—

You gotta give us the steps.

I gotta give you the steps. And so the book is called Be Civil: The 11, uh, Behaviors of Incivility, Hidden in Plain Sight. Because, uh, and you will be happy to know that there's inspiration from our conversations in this when you say you gotta name it so you can navigate it. So when I'm thinking about this book, The Behaviors of Incivility, people don't really know. They know something happened. Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

But they don't know what to call it. So I, I'm, I'm creating— we have the 11 self-operating principles that neutralizes incivility, but most people don't know the behaviors. And so I made a list of these 11, I believe, top behaviors that are happening all the time, but they're hidden in plain sight. And I want you to be aware of them so you know what— how to neutralize them. and how to help others when they get stuck. So July 31st, releasing a book, right? The 11 Behaviors of Incivility Hidden in Plain Sight. Gonna put some merchandise together, some shirts, some water bottles, maybe some hats.

Yeah.

Uh, maybe the first 50 people who RSVP, uh, I'm, I'm probably just open up the EI 365, uh, headquarters, say kind of like an open house. And just have people come through. So maybe not a, a party, but like that day you come through, and if you're on the list, first 50 people come sign it, do a photo op, and then after that for purchasing. But really, this is being put in position when I go in to do trainings. I want to leave the audience with something that they can mobilize, a message. After I spend 8 hours or 4 hours with your teams I want to leave something for them to go disperse back into their work environments and at home to encourage it. So Be Civil is a movement. It's a standard of behavior for humanity. And I just want to give everybody an opportunity in those moments, what I like to call the micro moments of the day, when you're emotionally charged, you have permission to just be civil.