How to find people who align with your values

When I think back to a lot of my success and where I am today, I reflect a lot on my environment and the people that I know. Being a lot of the key features of why I am so successful today and why I'm able to make multiple millions of dollars a year. Because I came from nothing. And like, when I say nothing, it was like I grew up in a middle class family. I saw my parents lose everything. I saw them kind of get back on their feet, but we never had money to do anything. And when I went to school, like, I moved around a lot in my life. I remember really vividly from elementary school to middle school. In between that gap, my family moved from California to Colorado. This was during like 2007, 2008, during the recession. I saw my. My dad had a business partner. He basically supposedly like ran off with all the money and we were left with. My parents were left with trying to find a way to make the payroll. They'd take out a loan and then they ended up having to foreclose on their house. And when I was younger, all this was happening, like, I had no idea like why any of this was happening. All I knew was I was being removed from the school that I was going to and losing all the friends that I did have. And I had to go move to a new place. We moved from California to Colorado gratefully. My great grandma, she gave us a. She gave us a place to stay. She had a, like a three bedroom house. It was just her living there. Her husband passed away not too long before, and she was open arms welcoming my family and I and my family, my parents and my sisters and I into her house to go live there for a little bit. While parents were trying to get everything going. They didn't charge them, charge my family anything. She just let us in and she didn't have to do that. But during that time, it was very confusing for me. You know, I was fifth grade, going into sixth grade. I was like, whatever that is, like 10 years old at the time. And I had to go to a new school where they had new. Like, it was a completely different culture, completely different mindset, completely different people that like have already been growing up together and already went to elementary school and kindergarten together. And I was the black sheep, I guess. I was the one from California. I was the one that was different than anybody else. And at a very young age, I had to learn pretty quickly what it was like to be kind of like an outcast and somebody that was not a part of everybody else. And it's at a weird age too, where you're pretty awkward. So, long story short, you know, I never really fully fit in. I was able to make friends. Flash forward to kind of high school. Like, I was always a part of, like, the. The circles of people that were doing stuff in their life. Like, you know, I was part of the cool circle. Everyone kind of knew who I was, but I didn't. I was never really close with anybody, and I never really had any real friends. And all the people that I did know, like, I just didn't align with them. A lot of them wanted to, you know, stay in their hometown. A lot of them wanted to, you know, get a. Go to college and get a degree and some. Some thing and move back in their hometown. I wanted nothing to do with that town. I wanted nothing to do with those people. And I just. I did. I wanted different things than everybody else. I. I wanted to do really cool stuff in my life. And I knew staying in the small little farm town wasn't going to. Wasn't going to be the fix that I was looking for, the solution I was looking for. And, you know, it was hard because I. I got bullied. Like, I was just outcasted a lot. You know, I say I was bullied a lot. It was more just like I didn't fit in anywhere. And it was like I wasn't very secure in myself, I think, as is anybody that's in high school. You know, a lot of us, we don't, you know, we're still trying to develop our character and trying to learn who we are ourselves. And so I went to college, and when I went to college, I was still kind of facing the same thing. You know, I started to. I started to find out how to make money online. I started to learn how to, like, flip houses. And nobody else at school was doing that at all. I was the only person. Some people found out what I was doing, and they always wanted to know what I was doing, but they weren't ever willing to do the work. I would kind of give them some opportunities and stuff or show people how to do things, and they just would never do anything with it. So for the longest period of my time to be full straight with you, like, I had no real friends. Like, I had people that were friends, but I had nobody that was like, nobody that I could like, talk about the things that I actually wanted to talk about. Nobody. I could, like, talk about business, somebody. I could talk about, you know, going and traveling and doing any of the cool stuff that I really wanted to do. So I. For the longest period of time, I did not fit in. And so for me, finding friends that I shared similar values with was really difficult just because there was nobody that I had. And then over time, as I started to get into business more, as I started to make more money and started to be more successful, the only people that I really had that were like, friends that I shared similar values with were a lot older than me, though. A lot of them were like 10, 15 years at the youngest older than me. A lot of them were in their, like late 30s, early 40s. And I just didn't relate to anybody. Everybody in my age, they wanted to go to college and just have fun or they wanted to go work the way corporate ladder. And then, you know, nobody really. Like, I was always the youngest in every single room that I went into. And it was weird. Even to this day now when I go out to restaurants or when I go do things or go shopping or whatever, like, I am typically the youngest person by at least 20 years. Nobody else is like, living this life at my age, at least for the vast majority of people, most people, they had to wait a very long time to be able to be in this position. And so what I started doing is I saw other people online that were like, doing like, things like me that were just. They were kind of like social outcasts. And they always knew that they were capable of so much more and that they were always building businesses online and stuff. So I always saw these people and, you know, it was kind of. It was kind of weird because it was like I. I didn't really fit into the circles that I grew up in. And, you know, I didn't know, like, I didn't really know anybody else. I was making money online or any of that stuff. So I would do everything that I could to start surrounding myself with other people that were doing stuff in their lives. So I would find events where other people were going, and I would always try to find the younger people. Especially I was like, 20 today, where you have money. Twitter, where there's like all these young kids just making tons of money. It was kind of like more on Instagram, and Instagram was more just be hanging out outside, wanting to take pictures with them all day. Thought it was the weirdest. And he was like, hey, I have a, you know, this penthouse in Arizona. Do you want to come with me? I was like, okay, yeah, sure. So I go out there, hang out with them for a few days, stay there. He introduces me to like a Bunch of people that are also making money online at a young age. And so I ended up making, like, a ton of friends out of this kind of, like, one person that kind of, like, opened the door for me and kind of shut everything. And that's when I first started kind of making my first real friends of other people that were making money online. That was my first experience with all of this, was when I met this one person. He introduced me to everybody or started introducing me to people. And then that's when I started to finally feel like I was. I was validated in life. Like, I was like, that I wasn't just some crazy person in this town in Idaho, in the middle of nowhere, the freaking black sheep out there. It was. What I ended up finding was I was the black sheep amongst all the black sheep, where I was a black sheep, a herd of black, like, basically finding a herd of black sheep. I don't know if I like the sheep analogy, but I found a bunch of other people that were. That were just like me, that were doing things. And it wasn't until then that I really started to feel like, okay, yeah, there is a reason behind all this stuff. It's not just doing things on the computer, just doing things on the Internet. It like, it. It made things real. It made things feel like. Like there was actual substance to it. And it wasn't just all this, you know, just making money online and just numbers on the screen. It was like, okay, there's actual people that I get to hang out with and meet. So I ended up getting one of them that I just met. I was hanging out with them for, like, a week or so. They're like, hey, we're going to Bali, Indonesia. Do you want to go? And I was like, hell, yeah. So I dropped everything, went to Bali, Indonesia, for a month and a half or so or month. Came back, went out to Arizona a few times, meeting up with different people. And I just did everything I could to just make friends. And what that did for me is it built a lot of validation. It built a lot of my. Like, I just had people that I could relate to and kind of brought a lot more, like, security in myself. Like, okay, yeah, I am, like, cool as. Like, I am able to do these things that are just this exceptional life and just, you know, the people that I started meeting of being in these rooms. So then when I started doing, like, you know, that was kind of like, I just really wanted it bad, and I found these things. But then now I found a way that I can Kind of consistently do this and constantly meet people. So what I do is I join networking groups or I join masterminds. So masterminds, they're typically a lot more of a premium experience of this. So typically like I have a mastermind I'm going to like I have two masterminds I'm going to this month. One is, it's like in Puerto Rico download to pay like 10 grand to go into for like this four day event. Get to go hang out with like a couple guys that are like billionaires there. But then there's a bunch of other people that'll be at the event. And that one's a little bit more. It's about business and health and stuff and kind of more like the longevity aspect of business. So this will be like a first time I've gone to a mastermind like that. It's a lot of older people and there will be some younger people, probably will be the youngest one at that one. But I wanted to go to this one because I just wanted more maturity in business. And then the next one I'm going to go to. It's like the creme of the creme kind of like one of the masterminds where it's just like everybody's in it. You have to pay like $65,000 a year to be a part of it. And then that one, it's just like almost everybody in my industry of like info products or making money online, like people at like kind of more the pinnacle of of the industry. You have to be making at least like $100,000 a month to me be able to join it. That one, it's like I make a ton of friends with that one. So one is going to be a little bit more like kind of more mature audience. And then I'm going to go to this next one. It's like literally the week after it or the weekend after where I'm going to be surrounded by a bunch of people that you probably, if you're in this industry, probably know of them. And so that's one way that I do it. And then I will also go to local networking events. Those actually work really well. So here's the thing is it could be in some shit that you really don't care about. It could be like a trade convention. It can be, you know, it could be something like, like I've taken my girlfriend to like a bridal expo and we just met a bunch of people that were like wedding planners and stuff. You know, I'll go to ones that are real estate events. Even though I don't really do anything have do anything right now with real estate. And I'll just go there and I'll just meet a bunch of people. I will find like I'll just connect with a bunch of people or I went to one, it was like a digital marketing one. And then I met a bunch of people that were my age that were making money there. So I just try to go to one of those at least once a month. And I try to go to like something local or in person. And when I go in person, it's just in person connections. I feel like it's just a lot better when you meet these people. And then some of those connections that I've met like from these people, they've introduced me to so many people. Like just like the networking effect of just like once I start like I try to go to one of those at least like once a month, once every other month. And when I keep going to those things I just, they introduce me to somebody and then I get introduced to somebody else and it starts to just really have this snowball effect. So if I go to one of those every so often I start to. My name kind of gets going in the industry. Like I start to meet a lot of well known people. The amount of like billionaires that I met out of these events, funny enough or you know, just people that are making 10 million, $100 million a year pretty frequently. Like when I go to these events just go make sure to shake hands with everybody. I don't typically, you know, depending on thing I just go more to like meet people connections to grab lunch or grab dinner with some of the people that are there and figure out how to do business with them. So that's kind of what I do. And then another way that I've done it that was super successful. It wasn't as much as like in person connections that I was able to build through this, but it was. And I know other people have. But this is a way that's allowed me to have a lot of. It's just business success in general is creating just like online groups. So this could be like a Discord server. This could be like a WhatsApp group. This could be something like what else is the other one? Slack Discord. You can do like a school group or something like that. WhatsApp and just finding other people that are in your industry or trying to do something like you're doing at a similar level, maybe a little bit above you and just creating A group and bouncing ideas off of each other. I'll kind of do this. I even do this right now a little bit with this YouTube channel. I have a couple friends that have YouTube channels as well. I don't do it in a group setting, but I will message each person kind of one on one. I'm like, yo, dude, I just watched your video. I thought it was super good. You know, try to do maybe like this thumbnail next time. I saw it was like a good thumbnail that you could use. And then they kind of do the same thing, like, hey, I saw your video. I watched a few seconds of it, or whatever, that I had a gap in my day. And we'll drop comments on each other's videos, and we'll kind of like, kind of, you know, give each other a little bit of, like, some love on social media. And that's. That's created some. A lot of, like, really good connections of just, like, other people that are like, we're obviously both kind of in the same kind of caliber of, like, our YouTube channels. And we'll, like, kind of just shout each other out, kind of promote like, comment on each other's stuff. We'll kind of both support each other from. From afar. And we'll probably eventually go get dinner together or something next time I'm. If I'm in Miami or if they're out in California or wherever in the same area. And so I'll do that a lot of times. I'll make a lot of connections through the work that I'm doing. So I will just get going. I'll do it for, like, at least a month or two. Kind of get my foot in the door and, like, to where people will probably know who I am. And then I'll start reaching out to other people and either just cheering them on because this shit's not always easy. I will kind of reach out to them, be like, yo, what's up? Or I will. Yeah, I'll just kind of reach out to them, send them a message or comment on their stuff. And just like us seeing each other all the time on social media, just from us doing the work, has built a lot of insane connections for me. Like, some people that I'm like, I'm very impressed of some of the connections that I made just from me doing content and social media and just kind of them seeing my stuff and reaching out to me or me doing the same to them. These are some people that I've, like, looked up to for the past, like, five years. I'm like, well I get to talk to this person because of the work that I do. So you know, this is how I found to, you know, kind of. One other thing to add to this is you will receive the lowest standard that you tolerate. So if you stand, if you tolerate a bunch of people that are going to treat you like, if you tolerate a bunch of people you know that are doing like if you tolerate surrounding yourself with a bunch of people that aren't doing anything with their life, you're going to surround yourself like it's going to be the far more likely that you're going to surround yourself with a bunch of people that are not really doing anything in your life versus if you have a hot like a low tolerance to hanging out out with people that aren't doing anything with their lives. Like you only allow yourself to hang out with successful people. It's going to be a lonely as but it's going to be like the worst, most worthwhile way of making tons of friends and, and being surrounded by lots of people that are doing great things inside of their lives. So for me, a lot of my life I was just okay with being lonely because I just couldn't stand all the other people that weren't doing anything their lives. And it's just I hated how I felt like being around these people that were very limiting and just like didn't see the world the way that I saw it and I just didn't. I knew that wasn't for me. Like I just, I just had a tough time spending time with them. I like, I just, I would rather be lonely than hang out with people that just aren't going to do anything inside of their lives. And that's just something that, you know, a little bit of some comfort in my. For myself. Like it was, it was hard, it was lonely and it was boring in a lot of senses and it was just like it. You know, there was a lot of days where it was maybe very mentally exhausting and it took a lot of strength mentally but I am so glad and so grateful that I just stuck with it and I decided not to surround myself with people that aren't doing anything with their lives and just working some minimum wage job. I like, I knew that I was meant for greater things and I wanted to be surrounded by other people that are meant for greater things. And so I would much rather be lonely than I would be hanging out with people that are limiting myself and holding me back. And I know that's hard for other people, you know, because they Would like, loneliness is like their scariest thing that could happen, but it's temporary. That's why I think you should go on. That's why I talk about on this channel. Like, you should go on like, dark mode. You should go disappear for like six months or 90 days or whatever. This isn't a permanent thing. It's not like you're gonna be lonely for the rest of your life. But if. If you allow yourself to be lonely for three months, for six months, for a year, and then come back and try to make friends, you'll be a lot more likely to make friends of cooler people. And it'll be a lot easier for you to make friends because you just have a lot more going for you than if you didn't. And sometimes it's just like, if you can just block yourself mentally for like, okay, for three months, for six months, for a year, I'm not going to worry about friends. Or two years, I'm not going to worry about girls. I'm not going to worry about friends. I'm not going to worry about anything other than just getting fit and making a ton of money. If you just focus on that and then you come back, like, after you've done the thing, after you've gotten richer, after you've gotten ripper more ripped and, you know, maybe you might be a little bit socially awkward out the gate, but you'll be a lot more likely to make friends. Some things that I'll do, like, once I kind of go through those phases of grinding and then coming back and making friends, is then I will go pick up some hobbies. Like, I'll go get into, like, jiu jitsu, or I will go do things. Like I got into salsa dancing at one point in time or doing like, yoga classes. And. And I would do it for, yeah, like the physical activity of it, but a lot of it was for the social life. And I just started meeting a lot of people. Like, I loved meeting, like the salsa dancing crew. Or when I got into fitness a lot and just started working out every day, I found the biggest dude in the gym. And I just said, hey, can I work out with you every day? Because I want to get big like you. And he's like, okay, cool, yeah, let's do it. And then I was like, what time you want to do it? I was like, let's do 7am so he's like, okay, cool. So then every single day for three months straight, I did this thing called 75 hard with the guy, and we ended up becoming like, best friends through all of it. It was like, to me, at first, he was, like the scariest guy in the room. But after meeting him and getting to know him, he was, like, the easiest guy to talk to. He was, like the nicest guy in the entire room when I thought I had to, you know, when I thought he was, like, the most intimidating. And it's kind of funny how, like, this. This perception builds of these people that we think are, like, the, you know, the most hardcore person. And he ended up being the nicest. And one of it became one of my best friends to this day. So that's what I got to recap. You will receive the lowest standard that you tolerate. There is more for you out there. There are. It's. It's okay to be lonely. I. I get it. It's scary because, you know, it's like loneliness and biologically, to us is death. If we are outcasted from the group, if we don't have friends, if we don't have a social life, biologically, that means we weren't going to have food, and it means we didn't have the. We didn't have the community aspect of us as human beings. And it means. It meant that we were going to die. And what I will say is that is no longer true. Like, we live in a day in an age where, you know, we have grocery stores, we have. We have everything within access. We don't have to go. We don't have to be hunters and gatherers anymore. We have to kind of, like, resist that kind of mindset or that mind frame. What we need to do is we need to find other circles of other people that are doing just what we're doing. So if you're starting, let's say, a faceless YouTube channel or you're starting a Shopify store, if you're starting a personal brand, if you're starting on Twitter, go find other people that you want to be closer to. You know, obviously, you'll have the people with hundreds of thousands or millions of subscribers. Go find the people with, like, a thousand subscribers. Go find the people with 10,000 subscribers, the people with, like, 300 subscribers. Reach out to them and make friends with those people, because those people are, a, they're way more accessible, and then also, baby B, they're a lot more relatable to you, and they're kind of, like, good for accountability partners, and they're good to, like, kind of bounce things off of. So you can start building a network of five people, 10 people that are all Kind of like in a similar situation pretty easily. So go do that. The next thing is go to in person events and go to masterminds if you can afford to join masterminds. Like those are some of the best connections that you will make as far as like having in person real life connections. And it will open the doors of so many things. So it's kind of funny like especially this industry that I'm in of making money online, how small the industry is. Like after me being in it for seven. Okay, so my phone overheated. But anyways, what I was saying is like after being in the industry for seven years, I just, I start to see the same people over and over and over again and I start meeting the same people as you start getting introduced to different people and just me showing up constantly. Just even if it could be a local networking event in my local area, all these people typically know other people in other cities that are, that I know are in my industry. So go in, tell your story, talk about, talk to people, share what you're doing, share your dreams, share your visions. At least with these people that have done the quote unquote impossible and have done the crazy things. And then what I would say the last thing is just be comfortable with being alone and being comfortable with going and disappearing for three months, six months, a year, and coming back a new version of yourself. And I get it, it feels scary to be lonely. But this is just temporary. This is just for three months. This is for six months, this is for a year. After all that, after you become this new version of yourself, you can easily go make new friends. Trust me. Or if your friends really loved you, if they really appreciated you, and if you really were good friends like some of my friends, I can go a year or two years without talking to them. I go meet back with them, it's like nothing happened. If they're really good friends, they're like that. If not, you'll meet other people. There's lots of other people that are share a similar journey to you. And don't take any of it personal. Like I said, I get it. It's pretty scary to, to be lonely. This guy's like checking me out over here in my car. But I get it. I hear you like, and I, I felt that way as well. But it's not as bad as you think it is. And if, if they're real friends, if they're going to do big stuff with their life, they're gonna know that you're just leveling yourself up and you're off to this next chapter of your life, and they understand that probably better than anybody else. Anybody that has a limited mindset or, you know, a scarcity mindset, if you disappear and they get upset with you, that's just because, like, that shows you a lot more about them than it does for yourself. So that's what I got. That's how to go find friends that share similar values. Like I said, this is something that I. I struggled with deeply, and I wanted to share it with you guys. Now that I've, like, figured it out, now that I just have tons of friends everywhere, it's like, I have people I talk to, like, every day, and I feel like I have more friends in my life than ever before just because I've just, you know, I. I had really strong set of values, and I found a bunch of other people that shared similar values in life and want to do cool things with their life. So that's what I got. I'll see you guys all in the next one. Peace.