Mihail Pautovmedic, IC Fundeni · Doctor Mihail - Medic specialist în chirurgie generală, Educator de sănătate

Unele relații încep ca un basm, dar devin repede un coșmar. 👨🏼‍⚕️☝🏻

28 May 2025 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:14

This is a short dialogue from a YouTube video by Mihail Pautov about recognizing toxic romantic relationships and prioritizing self-healing. SPEAKER A warns about rapid declarations of love, controlling behavior, and cultural programming around masculinity; argues you should be your own healer and not try to fix partners, and claims mental abuse can be worse than physical abuse. SPEAKER B raises the clinical point that people can heal in relationships and asks for top signs of toxicity; the excerpt ends as SPEAKER A begins to list them.

Chapters

If you meet a guy after three days, he tells you, you're my soulmate. Get out of here. You don't even know what I like to eat. Red Flag. You're the only one I can be myself with. Red Flag. He's literally training you like a puppy. It's actually toxic masculinity to think that a man is a man. If he screams, he's strong, he's aggressive, he hits. Bullshit. It's all cultural programming.
Psychology tells us that we actually heal in relationship, not alone. What do you think about that?
I'll tell you something, Doc. You don't need a healer. You don't need a programmer. You don't need anybody. You are the medicine, the healer. You are the programmer. So they study you. They know what you like, what you think, and they become everything you want. They have a God complex. They think they're above the law, above everybody.
But that. That can be a red flag.
Yeah, that can be a red flag. Let's have an honest conversation. How can I give while I'm starving? How can I say I'm good if I'm doing it to everybody, but not to me. So before finding the right one, be the right one. You're not a narcissist. Suddenly you become that. When you're young, you're prepped into being that.
But if you love him, won't you try to heal him?
No. Bullshit. You're doing this because internally. Be chosen. I sold my soul just to be loved. I gave up everything to be loved. Mental abuse is worse than physical abuse. Create your own blueprint. Go live your life. It's not your job to fix anybody.
What are the top signs that are screaming to you that you're in a toxic relationship?
I'll tell you how it works.